CHAPTER ELEVEN

The damn near totalled Cadillac rocketed down I-15 with Nick practically leaning on the horn as he drove around 110 miles per hour in the Nevada traffic. Driving in the shoulder when necessary. Ari and Iggy just sit back in their seats, chilling while a literally and figuratively fuming Dylan was busy chugging a bottle of water.

"Look, Dylan, I think I speak for everyone in the car when I say we're really sorry about locking you on the roof of the hotel." Iggy says, leaning towards the passenger seat which everyone just wordlessly gave up to Dylan since they felt too guilty to claim 'Shotgun' themselves.

"..."

"You gotta admit, it's a pretty funny prank…" Ari chimes in, completely tone deaf. Iggy elbows him in the side. "I mean, up until the part when we forgot all about you."

Dylan just stares out at the desert in Stony silence.

"He's still not talking to us…" Iggy mutters to no one in particular, a little concerned.

"Totally understandable, man. Whenever you're ready…" Nick briefly glances over at Dylan, but he doesn't meet his gaze. Still staring out the

window with a stoic look on his face. Oh boy.

SUNDAY, 9:15AM

Workers bustle about the grand lawn of the Bel Air Bay Club, putting the last touches on the outdoor wedding site. It's beautiful. With epic palm trees, expansive views of the Pacific, white non-plastic chairs in perfect rows, and the altar adorned in roses. A harpist begins to warm up as well dressed guests file in, finding their seats.

Maya checks her phone for the time, and any new messages from the guys. Nothing. She internally sighs so as to not ruin the winged eyeliner Nudge was currently working on.

SUNDAY, 9:47AM

A Warner's Tuxedo van speeds up alongside the Caddy as they fly down the 10 freeway. A very nervous young man opens the van's sliding door and, wind whipping his face, throws a huge package over to Ari, who stands and catches it!

"I OWE YOU, HOLDEN!" Nick nods at the van driver and shouts over the wind. Holden gives him a thumbs up, and heads off. Ari rips open the package where there are four tuxes inside. The guys start taking off their tattered clothes…

Meanwhile….

Looking beautiful in their wedding gowns, Maya poses for pictures with Max and Ella. Attempting to appear anything other than as the anxious mess she'd been over the past few days. Once the professional photographer, Mrs. as well as Mr. Batchhelder are done snapping their photos, Maya turns away from the group. Gazing out of the window at the perfect wedding arranged below. Minus all of the confused guests, lack of a groom (or groomsmen for that matter) and clearly very pissed off Harpist. Max and Ella come up behind her and put their arms around Maya's shoulders.

"Let's wait a little bit longer without panicking, okay?" Max's mouth slightly curls up at the corners as she lightly shakes the dazed Maya out of Worryland. "They won't try any stupid shit with Nick around, I'd bet money on it."

"Who's to say that Nick isn't the one behind all this? He's the one who told me that weird-ass joke earlier, remember." Maya subconsciously begins biting at her nails and Max sighs, lightly raking a hand through her fancy schmancy Maid of Honor updo.

"Well, he does have a rather strange sense of humor…" She trails off, not really certain which words were the best to reassure her currently very distressed sister. "But seriously trust me on this one."

"Uh huh, yeah sure."

"Seriously! I have a good feeling about this."

"I'm not sure how, those boys just don't seem to know how to stay out of trouble." Ella sneers, still a little bitter from the fight she had with Iggy the day before he left for the trip. Where he tried to beg her for thousands of dollars without even so much as explaining why. "Especially with Iggy around."

"Ah, true that. True that." Max agrees, and Maya groans as her stomach twists and turns.

"I-I thi-think I'm go-gonna b-be sic-sick." She says, hurrying over to the nearest trash can. Fortunately missing her lovely off-white wedding gown.

The guys, now in their tuxes, rocket down the freeway, primping. Ari brushes his teeth, Dylan tries to comb his hair, Iggy flosses, and Nick shaves with an electric razor as he weaves in and out of traffic.

SUNDAY, 10:19AM

Mr. Batchelder knocks on the door as Maya is pacing around in the bridal suite.

"Come in!" She calls out and he lightly opens the door, entering the room.

"I'm sorry, honey, but I think you need to seriously consider that Dylan might not be coming…" Maya stops short, speechless. "Some men just aren't cut out for this kind of commitment. I'm so sorry that this is how you had to find out–"

Just then, they hear a car loudly squealing to a halt outside…

The Bridesmaids sit around the posh lobby, waiting, anxious. Just then, the doors blow open and NICK, IGGY, ARI, AND DYLAN stride inside! Their tuxedos are wrinkled, their hair is a mess, and the groom is bright pink -- but they're here.

"Sorry, Google Maps took us a crazy route. We ready to do this thing???" The bridesmaids sit up, stunned.

SUNDAY, 10:45 AM

Maya and her father tentatively walk arm in arm down the aisle as some Mozart song everyone was familiar with but did not know the name of, played in the background. Her father is frowning, clearly unhappy with her decision to marry this Patrick Star colored model guy.

Everyone smiles, saying aweeeee at this beautiful wedding. In one of the chairs on the closest aisle to the altar is her mother, joyously crying as she ever so lightly dabs at her eyes with a frilly silk handkerchief.

At the altar, the groomsmen (including Nick) smile as well, Iggy slightly leans into Dylan.

"She looks beautiful, man."

"..." Dylan still doesn't speak to him.

"That's cool, dude. I get it."

Maya reaches the altar, then turns to her dad. He's more in need of reassurance than she does to be honest. So, she turns and throws her arms around him in a big wide hug.

"I love you, Dad!"

"I love you too, Chickadee." Maya's Dad shoots Dylan a nasty look before taking his seat in the first row. Maya approaches Dylan at the altar, and whispers at him. Angry. Hurt.

"Where were you? And why are you pink?"

"It's a long story. All I can say is I'm so sorry. And I promise, for as long as we're married, I will never ever put you through something like this again." He then becomes desperate, pleading. "Can... Can you forgive me?"

Maya studies his face, searching…

All the guests wait with bated breath...

The groomsmen wince, come on come on come on...

Then, unable to be mad at Dylan, Maya smiles and kisses him. He kisses her back. The guests all collectively sigh in relief. The groomsmen exhale, covertly knocking fists.

The Minister clears his throat.

"We, um, we traditionally wait til the end for the kiss…?" But Dylan and Maya just keep on kissing with Dylan going as far as to grab her by the waist and do one of those dipping motions Salsa and/or Tango dancers did. Mr. Batchelder closes his eyes and slowly counts to ten…

Dylan and Maya are still kissing at the reception, as the entire guest list applauds them. Minus Mr. Batchelder, of course, who was still currently seething at Dylan in all of his Barbie pink glory.

The champagne is uncorked, and the jazzier wedding band begins their set. Nick, Ig, and Ari are all aggressively applauding and whistling for the newlyweds.

"We did it, dudes. We pulled it off."

"Never had a doubt." Nick says, laughing. Iggy and Ari join him, occasionally sipping at their glasses of champagne as they watch Dylan and Maya tear up the dance floor.

"You think Dylan's ever going to talk to us again?" Ari asks, a little somber. Nick clasps a comforting hand on his shoulder.

"Give him time."

"Yeah. Like a decade or two–" Iggy cuts himself off, getting a weird feeling that he was being watched…

"Uh-oh…" Nick starts, and Iggy raises a panicked eyebrow.

"Uh-oh? UH OH?!" He says, a little paranoid. "Oh man, is Chuey back?!"

"Not him. Her." Ari points at his severely pissed off sister, Ella, who was now angrily stomping over towards Iggy. "Hey, sis-"

"Shut up, Ari! Iggy, where the hell have you been?! I've been calling and calling!" She yells at him so hard she spits somewhat in his face, irate. "What, you don't answer your phone anymore?!"

"No, I just don't wanna answer a call from you. That's 'what.'" Iggy crosses his arms, looking down at her small frame. She glares up at him with her hands clenched into tight fists by her sides.

"You always say stuff like that! If calling me once in a while is so hard for you, then maybe we should just break up!"

"I agree, we should." He says without a single moment's hesitation, and she immediately shrinks away. No longer the first chica she always was. "As a matter of fact, I was going to talk to you about that a little later on today. But since you so kindly came up to me, I guess we should just skip all of that bullshit and get right to the point. Right?"

Nick and Ari pretend to be engaging in other conversations, but were very much still invested in the one meant to be exclusively between Iggy and Ella.

"Y-You as-asshole." She shifts her gaze to the ground, but by the sound of her voice, it's obvious that she's on the brink of tears. "YO-YOU C-COULD'VE ATLE-ATLEAST DUM-DUMPED M-ME I-I-IN T-T-T-THE PR-PRIVACY O-OF O-O-OUR O-OWN HO-HOME!"

She lets out a loud sob, and Iggy instinctively hugs her to his body. Rubbing small circles on the back of her dress. Damn. Maybe he came off a bit TOO strong.

"You're right. My bad." He murmurs to her, and she holds onto him even tighter. Bawling her little eyes out. "I don't know what came over me."

"W-Wait d-d-does t-t-that me-mean…?" She vaguely hints at him just breaking up with her in the heat of the moment. He pulls away and shakes his head.

"I'm afraid not…" He looks to the side, avoiding the sad gaze that would break his heart a million times over. Ari and Nick have already gone somewhere else. Realizing that this conversation was far from their business. "I have been thinking about this for a while. I even told Nick all about it, and he said somethings that really made me think, y'know. About myself, about my life, and most importantly, about our relationship. Whether you like it or not, Ella, we're a sinking ship that's beyond saving. And all we can do is just rescue ourselves before we're too late, if you catch my drift."

"Y-Yeah I-I d-d-do." She sniffles, fruitlessly wiping away snot and runny mascara with her hands. Iggy digs in his pocket and finds a leftover receipt, giving it over to her as a makeshift tissue. "T-Thanks."

"Of course. Now let's get you to the bathroom to clean up."

While Iggy is busy breaking up with Ella and Nick is busy talking things out with Max, Ari is calmly basking in the delicious evening breeze. This goes on for a ten or so minutes until Ari feels a long nail tap his shoulder, he turns around and smiles. Seeing Layla in a very sexy, very elegant dress with her long brown hair nice and flowy in the back. She cleans up nicely. Ari swallows. Heart fluttering slightly in his chest.

"Hey, Ari?"

"H-Hi." He blushes. "What are you doing her- no, how did you get here???"

"You guys sent me a Google Calendar invite last night." She giggles, showing the invite on her phone. Ari nods his head, 'ah, that makes sense.' "And since I didn't have anything else going on today, I figured I might as well see what it's about."

"Are you liking it so far?" He asks, not really sure what else to talk about.

"Eh, it's alright. I personally preferred ours." They both laugh at this, but then awkwardly stop.

"Want me to buy you a free drink?" He asks, despite that sentence making no sense.

"S-Sure? We're not...actually...still married, are we?"

"Let's start with dinner, and see where it goes…?" Ari says what he thinks he's supposed to say to a girl he's becoming a tad bit romantically interested in.

"I'd like that." Layla smiles warmly, interlocking one of her arms with his. Just then, Ari's little pooch, Goblin, runs up to them. Ari picks him up with one hand and allows him to lick his face. Layla doesn't mind the interruption, petting the little guy's fur.

Iggy leaves Ella to her own devices in the bathroom, and tries lighting up a cigarette, but is quickly deterred as the Fake Canadian Henchmen approaches him. Still with their arms in huge arm casts. Visibly pissed.

"Okay, okay, I'll go with you. Just...don't ruin the wedding." Chuey hobbles into view, sandwiched between two sleek, black crutches.

"I really didn't want it to end like this, Iggy." Iggy nods, resigned, and starts towards him. Then Chuey extends his hand for Iggy to shake.

"Good luck."

"Um, what…?"

"Your friend Nick just paid your marker. Took out a second mortgage on his house. The full 200 grand, plus medical expenses, which I thought was a classy touch." Iggy is totally blown away upon hearing this information. "Without our friends, we are nothing, Iggy. Remember that."

And with that, the three injured mobsters exit. Iggy remains standing there, overwhelmed, his life literally saved…