Chapter 1 - A Little Ashamed
It is almost lunchtime, and Jonny made lunch for him, Andie, and Elio. He made cheese and onion pasties for himself and Andie, and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for little Elio. Jonny even fed their beagle, Alberta, with a new batch of dog food and a fresh bowl of water. As Jonny looks down at the pasties he is making, it reminds him so much of Janet and her pasty costume she wore for Jonny on the night that he supposedly made her pregnant with Corinthian. He sadly looks down at the pasties as they are cooking very slow on the stove, causing a delicious smell across the flat. Elio placed his teddy on the table part of his high chair, pretending that the bear is tap dancing. Between the frying sounds of the pasties as it finishes cooking, Elio's humming while moving his teddy around his high chair, and Alberta's loud smacking while eating her dog food, the shower in the master bathroom keeps running.
Jonny felt worried about Andie, and for the past few days, she has been distant from him. The only person she gets close to is Elio, her son, and their beagle, Alberta. What have I done to her? Jonny thought to himself. Jonny wants to see what Andie is doing in the shower, but at the same time, has to supervise Elio, making him completely torn.
Jonny decided to bite the bullet as he was done with cooking the pasties and making Elio a PB and J sandwich, and walked over to his and Andie's master bathroom where he sees Andie sitting in the shower, staring at the blank space. The shower head keeps spitting out hot water all over Andie's naked and completely still body, while she looks up and down into the empty space. The hot water sprayed on Andie's head, calming her down. She was in the shower for about fifteen minutes so far.
"Andie? Can you hear me through the water? We need to talk." Jonny yelled to get her attention.
"Jonny? Why are you here? Are you scared of me, now?" Andie sadly asked.
Jonny had a very confused look on his face and replied, "What?"
"Are you scared of me, Jonny?" Andie asked again.
Jonny looked even more confused, and thought to himself, what did Andie mean that I'm scared of her? She didn't do anything to me in order to feel scared of her. Before she's distant from me, she was very talkative and always sent me pessimistic messages. Jonny remembers before she got distant from him, he was talking to an old friend of his. Not Gaz or Donna or Louise. Not even Munch. But an old friend from school named Noel Clayton. Andie thought that Jonny reconnected with Noel to talk about how Andie's behavior freaked Jonny out, especially sending all these messages to him. The messages that Andie always texted Jonny were:
"Hey Jonny, it's been about five hours since I last sent you a message here. I was wondering if you are doing alright." to "Jonny, is there still a Christmas get together on the 17th? I highly doubt there is, you haven't talked about it anymore." to "I'm very sorry if I scared you away from messaging, Jonny." then followed by a sad emoji with big, black eyes and white highlights.
Jonny didn't feel uncomfortable or alarmed when he received those messages from Andie, instead he felt concerned and sad for her. Instead, he wanted to be with her to make everything straight.
As Jonny looked over at Andie, still sitting under the shower and letting the hot water spray on top of her lowered head, Andie let out a deep breath. She stimmed a bit and then turned the shower off. She then got up and put on a towel behind the blurred glass of their shower, drying herself off. She then puts on her underwear and her pajamas, with her towel wrapped around her head. During this time, Jonny was waiting patiently for Andie to come on out and tell Jonny what she meant saying that he is scared of her.
"What do you mean that I'm scared of you?" Jonny asked.
Andie let out a depressed sigh and took another deep breath. "I thought with me sending you all these messages freaked you out so much that you reconnected with that Noel guy and told him all about it."
Jonny sighed and replied, "Andie, I'm not scared of you. Why do you think that?"
Andie's eyes began to water and massaged her hands across Jonny's chest. "I was very concerned about you, I didn't even realize how very busy you were, and how you were with that Noel guy, and telling him how much of a weirdo I am." Andie weeped.
"You're not a weirdo, babe. If you are, then I am one, too. Look, don't feel ashamed because you felt concerned for me. I'm fine. I promise. And I promise that I did not badmouth you to Noel, okay?" Jonny genuinely pleaded.
Andie then starts to distance herself from Jonny, and walks over to the kitchen to see Elio still in his high chair and Alberta laying on the couch beside the entryway. Jonny then begged Andie for mercy. "Babe, please I really didn't badmouth you, okay? Please listen to me!" Andie starts to sob quietly, and Jonny immediately takes notice.
"Babe, are you crying?" Jonny trembled.
Andie let out a sigh and yelled out from her tears, "Quit lying to me, Jonny! I know you talked shit about me to Noel, tell me the truth! Are you scared of me?!"
Jonny's eyes then began to water, and he loudly responded, "I'm trying to tell you the truth, but you keep on fucking accusing me of being a liar! You would know that I would never talk shit about you. I love you, and I really do love you. But sometimes you make me want to pull my fucking hair out!"
"Well, you want me to pull my fucking hair out, too, sometimes! Like right now!" Andie argued back.
Elio laid silent on his high chair, firmly holding on to his teddy, while Alberta's head popped up from the couch to see where the loud noises came from. Andie began to sob loudly, and she took off her towel on her head and headed back towards their bed. Jonny then immediately followed her there, to see Andie crying into her pillow.
"Oh, Jonny! I love you so much, but I just don't want to bear looking at you anymore." Andie sobbed.
"Babe, don't say that, please." Jonny replied. Jonny then said something that made Andie's heart feel a complete 180. "Andie, it took me a while to respond back to you because I was thinking how to carefully respond to you without you misunderstanding my words. I honestly feel so sorry that you are having a rough time right now, and you had to be distant from me, and my heart always goes out to you whenever you feel like this. Just know that there's no need to feel shame or embarrassment about your feelings. Look, I understand how these things spiral because it happened to me before. You obviously know that I haven't judged it or told Noel about you. Look, I love you and I care about you. I really do. And I am very blessed to be with you. You always treat me like I want to be treated and you always are a ray of sunshine to me."
Andie turned her face towards Jonny, and replied, "Didn't I tell you before that I am autistic, and I'm just deeply ashamed of having it and severe anxiety on top of that?"
Jonny then replied, "Andie, please don't feel ashamed about your autism, it's what makes you totally unique and lovely."
Andie then responded back, "I'm a little ashamed of it."
"You are not, my darling!" Jonny exclaimed.
Andie got up and Jonny took her back to the kitchen, where Elio is still sitting in his high chair, waiting patiently for his sandwich.
Jonny gave the sandwich to Elio and said, "Sorry, about it lad. Here you go."
"Thanks, daddy!" Elio cutely replied, which made both Jonny and Andie smile.
Jonny then walks over to the pasties, fearing that they went cold while he and Andie had a small row, but to his surprise, they're still hot. Jonny passed one to Andie, and Jonny had one to himself. A knock was then heard at the front door, and Jonny went up to answer it. It is Noel Clayton at the door.