A/N: Yeah, I'm cancelling my other fics and solely working on this one.

~ TAKE IT FROM THE TOP ~
The Story Of How I Wrecked My Favorite Hero's Origin Story After He Fed Me His Hair

[CHAPTER ONE]: It's Rewind Time

In Which An Albino Beach Hobo Makes Her Appearance

You came to a clumsy stop in front of All Might, panting heavily and soaked in sweat. "That makes… 10 laps."

Your new mentor grinned widely and laughed. "That was a good run, Young Midoriya! It's only been a week, and you're already getting faster!"

You smiled back weakly. "If you think so, sir. Now I go back to the beach?"

All Might nodded. "Indeed! I'll meet you there!"

You flashed him a thumbs-up as he burst into his muscular form and took off. Once he was gone, you sighed and turned towards the path to Dagobah Beach. Speaking of which… you frowned. At the rate that you've been able to clear trash, you weren't going to finish clearing that beach in time for the entrance exam. Even if you ended up getting three or four times stronger, factoring in the fact that it would be a gradual gain… you'd be lucky if you finished a month late, let alone on time. You would definitely have to put in extra work to meet that deadline.

Your feet met sand, and you pulled yourself from your musings. Your eyes scanned the landscape of garbage for a piece of trash that would be movable while still providing an interesting challenge.

After a moment, you picked your target. A washing machine, worn and corroded by exposure to the sea air. You probably wouldn't be able to move it by pushing, but if you wrapped some rope around it and pulled, you might be able to handle it. How heavy could that thing be, anyways?

Fifteen minutes later, your question was answered; washing machines could be very heavy indeed. All Might was cheering you on from the side, but the damn thing had only budged half a foot and you were already exhausted. you collapsed against a nearby refrigerator and groaned. "I don't think I can keep that up long enough to get it to the dumpster."

"Tell me about it," my voice echoed sleepily from the refrigerator, "I'm tired just from watching you."

You and All Might froze, turning to face the kitchen appliance whose door was suspiciously ajar.

"Whoops," I mumbled. "That's not how I wanted this to go."

You backed away from the fridge, frantically windmilling your arms. "All Might," you called shrilly, "there's a beach hobo in that fridge!"

The fridge door groaned open, and I tumbled gracelessly out of it. I was a mess of pale skin and paler hair, and covered in sand to boot. I peered at you with bright crimson eyes. "Oh, thank god," I muttered to myself. "This was the right trash beach."

You shrieked even louder. "ALL MIGHT! IT'S AN ALBINO BEACH HOBO!"

I frowned. "Now you're just being rude. I'm as much of a hobo as you are."

All Might patted your head calmingly and turned to me. "Young lady? Is there a reason you're sleeping in a refrigerator in this sort of environment?"

"I was looking for you guys," I chirped cheerfully. "I knew there was a lot of trash and a beach involved, so I looked up 'trash beach' and went to the first result. I was gonna stand there and look all cool when you arrived but I didn't wake up in time and there weren't really any good opportunities to come out normally-"

All Might cleared his throat. "Miss, I think you need to start from the beginning."

I perked up, jumping to my feet and dusting the sand off my green hoodie- it looked like Hero merch, but it wasn't of any hero you could remember. "Sure! My name is Eri Aizawa- or it was- or I guess it will be? No, that's still not right. It… used to would have been? But then I made it not, I think."

He cleared his throat.

I snapped my fingers. "Right. My name is Eri, no last name. And, uh… I'm the 10th wielder of One for All?"

All Might spewed blood across the beach.

I nodded wisely. "Valid."

I rushed to the side of the hospital bed, to the green-haired Pro Hero lying within.

Deku's eyes lit up when he noticed me. "Eri. Come closer."

I leaned in obligingly, only to reel back as something was shoved into my mouth- was it a hair? Did the number 1 Pro Hero just shove his hair into my mouth? What the fuck?

"I'm sorry for this," he continued. "But it had to be done. I am not long for this world, and One for All cannot die with me. It's a Quirk that can be passed on- All Might gave it to me, and now I give it to you. You are the 10th person to wield this Quirk-"

"Deku," I spoke up.

He shushed me and continued his rambling. "You need to find All Might. He's retired, but he can still tell you about this Quirk and how to use it-"

"Deku." I said, more insistently this time.

"I know, Eri, I don't want to die either. But that villain liquefied my digestive system- if the Hero Commission ever asks you to fight someone called 'The Entrail Melter' I want you to quit right there, you hear me?"

"Deku. Shut up. I can just Rewind you." I finally managed to speak over him.

He stared at me for a moment, before he facepalmed. "Right. That'd be great, actually. Hey, I wonder how One for All interacts with your Quirk. Do you think that if you Rewind me to before I gave it to you it'd make 2 instances of it, or-"

I tuned him out and focused on Rewinding him. I'd gotten better at it over the years, but it still required a delicate touch when other Quirks were involved.

Vivid golden light burst forth from my horn, sizzling against my control. What the hell? That had never happened before! It was like someone stuck the mother of all Quirk amplifiers on me-

Oh, for fuck's sake.

In my moment of distraction, the light wrenched itself from my control. Arcs of brilliant magenta wove through the golden glow, graying out the world save for those two colors. I wasn't just Rewinding Deku, I was Rewinding everything. My horn grew long and twisted as my life ran backwards in great, stuttering bursts.

My UA acceptance letter. That one Hero Con where I ran into Kouta. One of the few times Aizawa had been forced to leave me with Nezu, who saw nothing wrong with giving an 11 year old the ability to build bombs or hotwire a car. The day Aizawa officially adopted me. Healing Lemillion. That UA Culture Festival from so, so long ago.

Oh, God. I knew what would be next, and redoubled my efforts to stop my Quirk.

Deku punching Overhaul in the face with his full power; this was one of my favorite memories, but passing it in this direction marks my return to the darkest era of my life.

That fateful day that I tried to run away, when I first met Deku. That day, when I went back with Overhaul to protect that kind-looking hero.

Rewind finally sputtered out, leaving me standing on an operating table designed to restrain a six year old girl. Overhaul blinked, staring up at my 14 year old self with incomprehension.

I reflexively kicked him full-force in the face, crushing his stupid fucking mask and also maybe hopefully his jaw with the blow. I dropped down from the table as he reeled from the unexpected attack.

I focused on my Quirk; with how it had reacted last time I tried using it, I would need the lightest of touches to pull this off without leaving this bastard as an unevolved pile of biological goop. Maybe some kind of primordial bacteria?

I shrugged off the thought; if he did end up being Rewinded into a baby, I could always just punt him into the nearest trash compactor and be done with it. And if it went further, he'd only pose even less of a threat.

With a deliberate wave of my arm, Chisaki Kai was Quirkless for the first time in his life. I reached down and grabbed him by the throat.

"Hey, Kai. Long time no see."

He stared up at me, aghast. "What have you done, you idiot child?"

I grinned and tightened my grip. "I Rewinded your Quirk, dipshit. You'd think you'd have figured that out, since that's what you've been using me for this whole time. So here's how this is gonna go: You're going to be a good little hostage and tell your minions to let us go freely, and in exchange I'll let you keep your advanced evolutionary characteristics, like opposable thumbs and the ability to breathe-"

I cut myself off and coughed awkwardly. "Well, anyways, I'm from the future and I have a copy of One for All from that future."

You raised your hand. "Well, your Quirk is Rewind, right? So technically you didn't so much travel through time as you did undo everything that happened between then and… the old now? Is that the right word?"

I shook my head sadly. "We'd need an entirely new ruleset for grammar if we wanted any of this to make sense."

"I'll see what I can come up with," you muttered as you pulled a notebook from your pocket and opened it to a blank page. "How far back did you go, anyways?"

I shoved my hands in my pockets. "9 years, give or take a few months."

The tip of your pen hovered over the page. "And how is your Quirk supposed to work?"

I reached up to the long, twisted horn jutting from the side of my forehead. "I can typically only Rewind living things, either chronologically or causationally."

You tilted your head. "Causationally?"

I shrugged. "Yeah, it's super sketchy on how it actually works but I can also, like, un-evolve people? Rewind their evolution to before they developed, say, Quirks. Or lungs. And I can rewind people's injuries without actually de-aging them?"

After a moment of thought, a smile lit up your face. "Hey, do you think you can fix All Might's-"

The All Might in question cut in at that particular moment. "Well, that's an interesting story you have there, but I'm afraid I can't exactly take this at face value. Is there any way you could confirm this?"

I thought for a moment. "Well, Nedzu would back me up I think? The ol' rat man always comes in clutch."

Both you and All Might visibly cringed at that particular moniker. Your teacher shook it off remarkably well, putting a hand on my shoulder and nodding. "In that case, I think we should get that over with as soon as possible."

And with a firm grip and probably some clenched buttcheeks, both All Might and I disappeared into the air.

You looked down at the small crater caused by our liftoff, then back at the washing machine you still had yet to move. You let out a heavy sigh, then picked up the ropes once more. You still had training to do, regardless of whatever time bullshit I may have dragged you into.

The next time you saw me was… in all honesty, probably still as surprising and traumatic. It's not every day that the albino beach hobo you screamed at 3 days ago is introduced to your class as a new student, after all. Especially not as the daughter of the Principal of the school you're aiming for.

Especially not when said Principal is biologically a rat with a Quirk and I was… very clearly not that.

But, nonetheless, it happened. I'm not sure what explanation was given to address that last point, or if there even was one, but whatever had happened there had been definitely worth it, just to see the look on your face when I was introduced as "Eri Nedzu".

"What are you doing here?," you whispered furiously as I took my seat next to you.

I blinked in confusion. "Going to school…?"

You put your face in your hands. "Okay, but why here?"

I leaned back dramatically. "Oh, even the Rat God himself wouldn't be so cruel as to separate a poor newly-multi-Quirked girl from her time-Sensei!" Quite the opposite, in fact. He thought it would be funny to put me in your class so he did. Not that I was going to tell you that at the time.

The teacher sighed and looked back at us. "Midoriya, please stop disrupting the class."

You immediately shrunk down, nodding quietly and focusing on your notes. Even though that was clearly bullshit, I was the one who had been talking! And nobody else batted an eye at your being blatantly scapegoated- ah, no, that blonde kid at the front was smirking.

My eyes swept across the classroom appraisingly… and I did not like what I saw.

"Not that I'm complaining," you began slowly as you picked at your lunch, "But why are you sitting with me again? I'm not exactly at the top of the food chain around here."

"Well, I am," I declared confidently. "They just haven't figured that out yet. So I'd argue that actually, you're just sitting with me."

"But I was here first," you protested.

"I have a Time Quirk," I reminded you. "Things like 'first' and 'last' aren't real. Anyways, I talked to All Might and he's adding me to your training plan since I have One for All too."

You looked me up and down dubiously. While I was by no means buff, having been raised by an underground hero and occasionally placed in the presence of a rodentine chaos god meant that I was by no means weak or unfit. "Really? He just said that I needed to bulk up because, and I quote, 'my limp-noodle body isn't ready for it and my limbs would pop off.' I wouldn't think you'd have that same problem, would you?"

I smirked; even with you as a fourteen-year-old, one-upping you in Quirk Theory was an event to be cherished. "Ah, but you forget that my copy is even stronger than yours will be. All Might has 7 people's worth of power on top of his own, you'll have 8, and I have 9. Also, I'm pretty sure you were even more jacked for the Overhaul fight than I am now, and you still shattered your bones every time you moved at 100%."

You blinked. "I what."

I nodded solemnly. "Yeah, looking at you now I'm not entirely sure All Might didn't give you steroids on the low-down to get that built that fast."

You waved your arms wildly in front of me. "No, no, the other thing. The bones thing? Please tell me my bones aren't going to explode."

I sighed sadly and placed my arm on your shoulder. "I am so sorry, Midoriya. Your bones are going to explode so many times. We all know you can't help it."

You took a moment to stare down at your arms. "But… but I like my bones. They work and everything."

I looked at you skeptically. "Well, nobody told my Deku that. It sometimes felt like the dude had a vendetta."

Our conversation was interrupted by a loud, rapid popping sound behind us. You froze again, almost visibly shrinking as a harsh voice spoke up. "Yo, New Girl. The fuck you hanging out with Deku for?"

I glanced back to see that blonde prick from class standing in what was probably an attempt to look menacing, flanked by some minions. His hand was outstretched, showing off small, crackling explosions sparking on his palm- wait, hold on, was this Ground Zero?

Dude was a certified goon in middle school, huh.

He smirked, misinterpreting my stare. "Awesome Quirk, right? If you can see that, that just makes it a bigger mystery you're giving this loser the time of day. Fucker's Quirkless."

I blinked slowly at him. "...and?"

He frowned. "And what? He's useless, so fuck off. Oh, wait, lemme guess: your Quirk is dumb as shit, just like the rest of the losers at this school."

"Hey," objected one of the minions, "My quirk is pretty cool."

Bakugo- there was no way I was giving this guy the respect of a Pro Hero- didn't dignify his minion with a response. "So what is it, Unicorn? Something with your horn? Sparkles, glitter, virgin radar- ah, that's probably why you homed in on Deku, huh?"

Now, this was about when I had probably my favorite idea that week. I turned back to you. "Hey, Midoriya. I have an addendum to our training plan. It'll be great for cardio and lung capacity."

You half-unfroze, giving me a disbelieving glance.

I grinned and put my arm around your shoulder, standing us both up and turning back to Bakugo. "It goes a little bit like this."

I kicked him in the shin, grabbed your arm, and ran full tilt out of the cafeteria.

"YOU BITCH, I'LL KILL YOU" an enraged shout rang after us.

I cackled and shouted back. "CATCH US IF YOU CAN, FEDBOY!"

And boy did he try.

That day really did set the pattern for the next few months: Our time at school was spent running away from Bakugo and studying, and our time out of it was spent cleaning up the beach. We bulked up, you to a far greater degree than I. And then, six months later, the beach was clean.

"Eat this," said All Might, holding out a single blonde hair.

You stared at him for a moment. "What."

"Eat it." your mentor repeated.

"WHY?"

Wow, this was way funnier when it wasn't me randomly getting a hair stuffed down my throat.

"So," I started as you frantically tried to wash the taste of hairspray from your mouth with a sports drink, "this gives us, what, four months to figure out One for All before the entrance exam?"

All Might quickly counted the dates on his fingers before nodding. "Alright, young Midoriya. Let me know when you start to feel it, and I'll walk you through trying to use it."

We sat there for about 15 minutes, staring at you expectantly.

"Out of curiosity, what exactly am I supposed to be feeling?" you finally asked.

All Might rubbed his chin. "I'm not entirely sure. I've lived with it for so long I hardly remember what it was like without it."

"Well," I piped up, "When I got it, it felt like the mother of all Quirk amps, but also a little spicier?"

You blinked slowly. "I don't know what a Quirk amp feels like, I'm Quirkless. Also, there are like 3 Quirk-Amplifying Quirks in known history and only one of them has lived in our lifetime."

I shrugged helplessly.

You stared at the sand for another few moments before running a hand through your hair. "Okay, how about this. Tell me how I'm supposed to activate it and I'll just keep doing that until it works."

"Well," explained All Might, "You have to clench your buttcheeks and shout 'SMASH!'"

"What," you said flatly.

"What," I echoed.

All Might shrugged. "That's how I've always done it."

We looked at each other for a moment, then you finally shrugged. "It's not like I lose anything trying it."

So you stood in the middle of the beach, dropping into some kind of power stance. You glanced back at me. "Actually, hold on, you've had it for six months! You haven't used it at all?"

"Can't Rewind myself if my arms explode," I pointed out helpfully. "I can keep Rewinding you until you get it without exploding, and once that happens you can just tell me how to do it."

You stared at me for a moment, helpless before my flawless logic.

I pointed at you. "C'mon, Midoriya. You better clench those cheeks."

You returned to your dramatic power stance and sighed, before throwing your head back and letting loose your most furious "SMASH!"

And a whirling rainbow glowed under your skin, even as emerald lightning danced across it. Power rolled off you in waves, and your eyes glowed an unholy, toxic green.

You glanced down. "Oh, whoops. Unclenched for a sec. Here, let me-"

I held out a hand to stop you, but it was too late. With a thundering clap, your buttcheeks clenched with the literal raw power of All Might at 100%, obliterating the back of your pants and sending out a shockwave that knocked me and your mentor to the sand.

There was a moment of silence, and then a terrible, terrible scream.

A/N: This wasn't designed as an April Fools joke but it is the most blursed thing I am psychologically capable of creating, so I figured it fit the bill.

Also having an April Fools on chapter 12 of Titanium Soul after having last year's April Fools as chapter 10 would just be depressing.