CHAPTER 10

The treaty signing took place without incident, and Merlin's relief was more than enough to counteract the lingering side-effects of his recent ordeal.

"You should rest," Gaius chastised when the warlock came to his chambers in search of a headache tincture that would see him through the rest of the day. "Your body has been through a great deal of stress!"

Merlin, of course, ignored him entirely. "We did it, Gaius. Magic is free - really free."

Gaius chuckled then and, over in one corner sorting vials, Gilli whooped in celebration.

"You did it my boy." Gaius ruffled a hand through Merlin's hair in a familiar gesture of affection. "I am so very proud of you."

Alined and his men snuck off as soon as the treaty had been signed. Arthur couldn't say he was displeased to see the back of the scheming King, although he had wanted a chance to question him further on whether or not he and Morgana had been colluding.

Nevertheless, the feast that evening was a jolly affair. Arthur noted, somewhat disapprovingly, that the decorations were Merlin's doing. Hazy, magical lights of Camelot red and gold hanging midair above tables, which the visiting kingdoms oohed and ahhed at in appreciation.

"Did he get any sleep this afternoon?" Arthur asked Gaius quietly once he was certain Merlin was engrossed in conversation with Elena. The light trembling of the warlock's fingers as he lifted his food to his mouth did not escape the King's notice.

Gaius shook his head ruefully. "He spent all his time preparing for the feast and making sure the Druids were contacted in time to attend. I fear it is only a matter of time until he keels over from exhaustion."

Across the table, King Olaf turned from his conversation with the Druid leader Iseldir. "Lord Merlin, this legend of the Once and Future King sounds quite astounding! Is Emrys the proper title by which we should address you?"

Merlin looked embarrassed. "That's quite alright, Sire. I'm still adjusting to Lord, truth be told."

"Why don't you tell everyone the story you were just telling me?" Elena suggested, perhaps sensing Merlin's discomfort. "My lords, I promise you will find it of interest - it's a tale of how Lord Merlin saved me and Camelot from the evil Sidhe fairies."

The visiting kings - and, Arthur saw with pleasant surprise, several of the Camelot nobles - leant in eagerly. Merlin was only too happy to oblige, his eyes alighting in the way they often did when he spoke of his magic and how it had helped to protect the Kingdom.

The evening passed easily and with much drinking. Once the food was finished, everyone took to the centre of the hall for dancing and more merriment. Arthur danced briefly with Elena, but felt a pang of regret when he spotted Guinevere serving wine to the nobles still seated.

Now was not the time to announce his relationship to those gathered - it had been difficult enough to convince them of the benefits of magic, let alone to persuade them of his love for a commoner - but later in the evening, when he was certain they would not be seen, he grabbed Gwen's elbow and pulled her into a deserted corridor.

"One day," he promised her earnestly. "It shall be you and I on that dance floor."

She leant in and kissed him gently on the cheek. "I don't doubt it, Arthur."

She returned to the hall to continue her duties and Arthur took a few moments of quiet solitude. He had managed to snatch a few hours of sleep after the signing, but the stress of the past few days was catching up to him. He was just wondering how early he could afford to leave the celebrations when Gaius appeared.

"Ah, Arthur. Have you any idea where Merlin is?"

Now that he thought about it, he hadn't seen Merlin since the dancing had started. "Perhaps he's gone to bed?"

Gaius wrung his hands nervously. "I checked his chambers, but he isn't there."

"I'm sure he's just taking a break from the festivities," Arthur reassured the old man, though he couldn't deny the worry that suddenly gnawed at him. "Go back to your quarters and I'll send word once I've found him."

One of the Palace guards pointed Arthur in the right direction, telling the King that he had spotted Lord Merlin heading to the parapets about half an hour ago.

"So this is where you're hiding."

Bright gold faded to bloodshot blue as Merlin broke off from whatever spell he had been casting. "Shouldn't you be at the feast?"

"I've been sent on a mission to locate our errant Court Sorcerer." Arthur came to stand by Merlin, remembering the last time they had been up here together just before King Olaf's arrival. A lot had happened since then. "I thought you finished these defences?"

"I wanted to check they were holding up alright, after all the damage of the earthquake."

"And that couldn't wait until tomorrow?" Arthur cast a critical eye over Merlin and, with a long-suffering air, unclasped his cloak so he could wrap it around friend's shoulders. "You're shaking."

"I'm alright," reassured Merlin, but accepted the cloak gratefully all the same. "The wind just gets cold up here."

"Hm." Arthur was unconvinced, but didn't belabour the point. "I owe you an apology."

Merlin blinked. "You do?"

"For how I handled things with Morgana. I know you might think I was wooed by her being a noble and perhaps that was part of it," Arthur admitted. "But really... I just wanted to believe that things could go back to the way they were. She was always like a sister to me, even before I knew the truth of her birth. I miss her."

"I understand," Merlin answered softly. "She's family. That means something."

"But you're family too, Merlin. Blood relative or not, you've always been more like a brother to me." Arthur smirked. "A very irksome, very irritating brother, but nonetheless."

Merlin looked down at the floor, abashed, but clearly pleased at the sentiment. For a few moments they stood together, side by side, staring out at the stars and the moon in companionable silence.

"I'm going to propose to Guinevere."

"What?!" Merlin yelped. "That's fantastic! When? How?"

"I don't know yet," Arthur laughed, Merlin's enthusiasm contagious. "But I think it's time. And it will be useful to have a Regent if ever my absence becomes necessary like it did this morning."

Merlin snorted. "Really? That's the only reason you'd like to get married to Gwen?"

Arthur blushed. "I think we had better get some sleep."

"Come now Arthur. Surely you know that if brothers get to do anything, it's tease each other mercilessly?"

They reached Arthur's chambers first, and he was surprised when Merlin followed him inside.

"You have your own room," he pointed out. "With a big comfy bed and everything."

"I just wanted to talk through some more ideas for defences in the Citadel."

Arthur stared at him in disbelief. "Now?!"

"Well I just thought I..." Merlin's face screwed up as he tried, and failed, to fight back a deafening yawn.

"For heaven's sake Merlin, sit down before you fall down!"

Arthur pushed him towards the bed, which Merlin perched on with a reproachful glare.

"I'm fine."

Arthur was exhausted himself and sorely tempted to table this discussion until tomorrow. However he expected that if he did so, Merlin was likely to be up for the rest of the night checking more tasks off his never-ending to-do list, until he finally did as Gaius predicted and collapsed from exhaustion.

"I know it's been a busy few months," Arthur began with a tone of forced patience. "But magic is legalised and Camelot is safe. I don't understand why you won't just let yourself rest and enjoy it."

"There's important work to be done."

"Yes," Arthur conceded. "But we can't do everything all at once. And I don't think that spellcasting decorations for the feast was really all that vital, do you?"

Merlin fidgeted with the hem of the borrowed cloak, still draped over his too thin shoulders. "It just feels... strange."

"What does?"

"This, all of it. Being Court Sorcerer, being... open."

Arthur frowned, confused. "But isn't that what you've always wanted? The chance to be free, to be seen for who you truly are?"

Merlin's mouth twisted into a self-deprecating smile. "It's exactly what I wanted. I spent so long waiting and wishing for this. Now I wonder... what's to stop it all disappearing?"

And this was it, Arthur realised. The real reason Merlin insisted he be allowed to sit in on every council meeting and petition, why he rode out so often to check in on the new Druid Camp in the Darkling Woods, why his mind raced with constant ideas on how to improve the kingdom's defences - and why he resisted sleep even when his body was so clearly in need of it.

"I can't work from the shadows like I used to," Merlin continued. "When everyone just thought of me as a servant I could see more, do more without anyone knowing. Now everything is different. What if I miss something?"

Arthur sat beside Merlin, their shoulders brushing. "I understand the feeling."

"Really?"

"Of course. I've been raised my whole life to be King, to protect the people of Camelot. Then, when my father died..." He trailed off, the memory still painful even now. "... it's a lot of responsibility."

"So what do you do?" Merlin's weary eyes darted across Arthur's face, scanning it for some kind of answer. "When it all gets to be too much?"

"I sleep," Arthur replied wryly. "I'm no use to anyone if I'm dead on my feet. And, once I've done that, I turn to the people I can trust. The Council, the knights, Gaius, Guinevere... and you. You're not alone in this, Merlin. Not any more."

At last, something seemed to shift in Merlin's expression. He let out a deep breath and said, quietly, "You know, I really am exhausted."

There was a knock at the door. Arthur clapped Merlin briefly on the shoulder and stood to go answer.

"Ah, George." His manservant stood, impeccable and polite as always, with his hands clasped primly behind him. "Has the feast ended?"

"Yes, my Lord. Everyone has gone to bed and the servants are cleaning up now. Gaius wanted me to ask if you had found Lord Merlin yet?"

"Yes, he's here." Arthur gestured vaguely behind him. "Can you tell Gaius to send a sleeping draught to his chambers?"

"Er... I don't believe that will be necessary, Sire."

"Hm?"

George pointed behind Arthur, who turned and rolled his eyes fondly. Merlin had finally succumbed to sleep, slumped awkwardly over the side of Arthur's bed.

"Shall I wake him?" George asked uncertainly. "His chambers are prepared..."

Arthur waved the offer away. "Just tell Gaius everything is fine and fetch me some extra bedding."

George left to do as he was told and Arthur went to remove Merlin's shoes. Merlin mumbled an unintelligible protest, kicking out clumsily.

"I'm trying to help."

A little more cajoling and Merlin was under the covers, the tired lines of his face easing as sleep overtook him fully once more. He was still wearing Arthur's cloak, but the King decided that was a battle left unfought.

There was a quiet knock at the door and George peered tentatively in.

"Come in, come in. Don't worry about making noise - I doubt even another earthquake would wake him now."

George raised an offended eyebrow at the suggestion that he would make noise under any circumstance, but kept such thoughts to himself as a proper servant should. He prepared the extra bedding for Arthur and fetched the King's nightshirt.

"Will that be all Sire?"

"Yes thank you. Go get some sleep yourself." Arthur covered himself with one of the spare blankets and settled into bed beside Merlin, taking comfort from his friend's deep breaths as George blew out the last of the candles. "It's been a long day for all of us."