Chapter 6 : Just So You Know
I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away
And I don't know
How to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know
How to make a feeling stop
Just so you know
This feeling's takin' control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around
I can't let him win now
"Hey, are you mad at me?" Ryoma asks after cornering the poor Sakuno in the soccer field, the moment he finally he saw her today. For the whole day, she was obviously avoiding him makes him nervous. 'Did he screw up and mess up the timing?'
Ryoma stared at her face, the fact that she immediately looks away and avoid directly looking at his eyes strengthen his conviction that she was really avoiding him.
"Uhm. I told you I am not mad" Sakuno looks down not meeting her gaze and all.
The tennis prince raised his brows. He stared at her intensely, weighing her words that not matches her own action.
"Then why are you not replying to my messages? Text and even call?" He asks. "I waited for you during lunch break" he mumbled. "But no sign of bunny came. You obviously hiding to me" he said in precise tone.
Guilty as so she looks like. The bunny on his front, fidgeted her fingers avoiding another eye contact to him.
'Just what he thought'
Ryoma let out a sighed, he stared at her. "Is it because of the post I made online?" He asks cautiously. "Did it make you uncomfortable?"
He saw her beautiful brown eyes wavered. She looks at him.
'Did he hastily move?'
'No. There is no point of stepping back once again'
'It is now or never'
"I like you" Ryoma said. The light ray of afternoon sun illuminates them, he could tell how her eyes widen from his sudden confession.
"I like you" he repeated, the words he kept insides him for years was too heavy to bear and now that he finally let it out, the burdens of looking for afar. The sight of watching her from distance. It's time for her to know that he exists.
'He waited enough'
'It is all or nothing now'
'it's neither he can have her all or nothing at all'
'it's either she would break him or make him whole'
This love he have for her was dangerously taking him control. No. He couldn't control it anymore.
As the sun deep below the horizon; slowly and gradually the sun rays' sparks around them, the magnificent view of reddish- orange hue intensely fading; funny how it seems that despite the gradual sun slowly going deeper and darker to them, Ryoma found no fear of rejection.
"I really like you" a lot. For the long time. Ryoma chanted once again like a broken incantation. Repeating those words that waited years before finally said. For her not to forget. For her to know he was existing for so long.
"I-I..." Sakuno troubled to find words. Her eyes scream nothing but mere rejection. And it's okay.
'It's okay'
Ryoma smiled at her, "and I know we aren't on the same path... I know you still stuck on him " He added, contrary on how calm and emotionless his face was, his heart sank. His eyes mirrored nothing but sincerity. "And it's okay, bunny." He spoke. He grabs the tail of her hair that keeps fluttering in the summer air.
"It's okay if only friendship you can offer, so be it. Let's be friends. You don't have to be wary of me." He stared at her brown eyes. " Treat me as your friend, coz I really am" he said honestly.
Sakuno eyes wavered for one more time. Their eyes mirroring each other's.
"And if you no longer stuck in him..." He paused. "If your eyes no longer looking at him" he said with bitter smile "If you finally make way" he slowly muttered "Walks slowly...towards me..." Word by word, he said it clearly. " Take your time... I'm just here...waiting... It doesn't matter if you move little by little... It doesn't matter if you take step little longer" He leans closely to her, cupping both of her flushed cheeks. " As long as it's me you are heading to." Ryoma smiled.
"I don't mind waiting, bunny. If it's you I'm waiting for. You are all worth for the wait."
As the sun finally settle down, only his beautiful golden eyes shone brightly in the dark night.
"...kuno..."
"Sakuno.."
Sakuno jumps on her seat the moment Tomoka hits her shoulders. She looks dumbfounded on her for a couple of seconds before finally everything sinks in. She was in the middle of drinking fruit shake with her in their favorite shop. Right after the class ends, Tomoka asks her to accompany her in the mall, together with An. since they need to buy some materials they needed to their reports. Since An and Tomoka were both Mass Communication students. And since Sakuno has nothing to do at home, she agreed.
"What's wrong with you? You've been acting weird lately" Tomoka crinkled her nose as she took another sip of mango fruit shake.
An, on the other hand, just looks at her worried.
Sakuno blinks. Yes. She is being so weird lately. It's been a week passed since Ryoma confessed his true feelings to her. And for those days passed, nothing seems change, Ryoma still treats her like usual; they still hanging out like usual, eating together during lunch breaks and he still taking her home during class ended. Their usual late-night chats, calls under the sun conversation and frequent texting. He still the same "Ryoma" she meets, his usual teasing, grumblings and crappy jokes. It's all the same. He never crossed the line than being "her friend" like what he said when he confessed.
But what it feels like something is changed?
"Hey! Sakuno! You spacing out again" Tomoka snaps her fingers in air. "Something wrong?" She worriedly asks.
"Uh... It's nothing" Sakuno mumbled. Holding the cup of her fruit shake, she stared blankly on her shake.
"Perhaps you are worried about your mom? Are they still in overseas? I mean... There is an expansion of business they were working on, right?" Tomoka mumbled.
"Yes, I heard it from Reiko neechan..." An seconded
"Daddy said they will extend their stay for a couple of more days to finalized everything" Sakuno answered. "And there is nothing to worry about mommy. Mom is mom always" she said in hints of sadness
"Yeah. Like an evil witch mom" Tomoka mumbled in disdain voice. "So, if it's not your evil witch mommy what's making you so dazed?" She asks curiously sipping another sip of her favorite fruit shake.
Sakuno hesitated for a while, she fidgeted her fingers in the cup she was holding before finally opens her lips to speak.
"Ryoma-kun said he likes me" she mumbled
Tomoka who was currently sipping her fruit shake spits her drinks hitting An who was seating right next to hers.
"Oh my god! Tomo! That's so gross!" An whine as she wipes herself.
"Gomen!" Tomoka muttered an apology to An. Her eyes doubled in size as she looks at her best friend Sakuno. "Come again, I think I misheard you"
"Like I said, Ryoma-kun confessed to me" She bowed her head.
"Wait... Wait ... WHAT?! Since when? Oh my god!" Tomoka shouted.
They started getting the attention of the crowd
"Why are you look so surprise Tomo?" An chuckled, she even lean her cheek on her hand in the top of the table. "We saw this coming, isn't it?" She casually speaks.
"So what did you say?! Tell me?! Tell us!" Tomoka excitedly screams.
"Uh... Nothing? Uhm... I'm so shocked" to the point it rendered her speechless. Sakuno sighed.
"And I honestly saw this coming too" An chortled. "So, when did he confessed?"
"A week ago,"
"Oh my god Sakuno! That long? And yet... both of you still flirting... I mean hanging out like there is no confession happened?! It is Echizen Ryoma we were talking about! ECHIZEN RYOMA what's holding you?! Are you waiting for someone to come along and snatch him?! God Sakuno! Don't wait for that moment to happen!"
"I don't know what to say... my mind was completely went blank" Sakuno fidgeted. She recalled the confession she received that faithful afternoon, "it seems like he knew my feelings about Akaya-kun" she whispered.
"Wait what?!" This time, both Tomoka and An seems really surprised. They both look at her with wide open eyes.
"Ryoma-kun told me to take my time. That it's okay... Take my time... If my eyes no longer looking for Akaya-kun... If I finally make my way... I walk slowly towards him... He said it doesn't matter if it takes longer... As long it's him I'm heading too" she said trying her best to stay calm her erratically beating heart, just recalling those moments makes her heart beats faster.
" .god. to think Echizen-kun can confess like that" An muttered.
"Gosh! I don't know what to say anymore. Ryoma-sama sets a highest standard for men! To think that the prince of tennis itself said he wait for you! I'm so sorry to say this bestie, okay? I love you... But oh my god to the highest level! Your hair is way...way... Too long now! Gosh! How to be you?! I want to be you!" Tomoka exclaimed.
"So what will you do now?" An asked.
"I really don't know" Sakuno mumbled.
"You like him? Even a bit? Base on how you didn't reject him, it seems so to me" An muttered.
"And don't dare to deny it Sakuno, I know you pretty well! You are falling for him, right?"
Sakuno looks away. Is she falling for him? Sakuno didn't know either. She can't understand her own self. Lately, she found herself nervous whenever their eyes met, she could no longer afford to look in his beautiful golden irises without feeling her heart thumping so loudly inside her chest.
And she started to honestly be scared on her own feelings. Everything happens too fast. She couldn't uphold for whatever changes happening in her feelings. Is she really falling for him? Or just because he making her feel happy? For the first time, she felt so happy, and she can't deny the fact that he makes her happy. Echizen Ryoma slowly introducing her to the world she longs for. A place where finally she can be herself and look on others without a fear of being indifferent. She started having a life. And it's scares her. It scares her to the point that she wonders if it's real. It feels so good to be true.
'What if everything will be ruin?'
'What if she messed up everything?'
"Don't force yourself and take your time, okay?" An speaks, she smiled comforting. "Echizen-kun say it himself, he will wait for you, he will wait until you are ready... so that means...you don't have to rush things to evaluate your feelings to him." An muttered.
"But what if he gets too tired of waiting? You see ... Not everyone in my sides were genuine to me. My mother loathed me; people around me hates my existence. Sooner or later, when he finds out anything about me... He will eventually get tired of me. Not anyone in my side stays though. Even the ones told me they love me dearly, left me alone" Sakuno bitterly spats. Her eyes watered. That was the memories she wanted to buried inside her.
"Sakuno..." Tomoka holds her hand. "That's not true, okay? Don't think of that way"
An hugs her from behind. "We're here for you. You don't need validation for those people who didn't see your worth okay?"
Echizen Ryoma: Bunny...
Yukimura Sakuno: what is it Ryoma-kun?
Sakuno puts down her phone as she started tying her hair in messy bun. Feeling satisfied with her look on the mirror, she stood up and went to her walk-in closet to get her favorite sneakers
Echizen Ryoma: what are you doing?
Yukimura Sakuno: getting ready?
Sakuno puts down her phone once again as she started tying up her shoes.
Echizen Ryoma: for what?
Yukimura Sakuno: I am going to mall. I run out for coloring materials.
Echizen Ryoma: alone?
Yukimura Sakuno: uhm... Tomo-chan is kind of busy...
Echizen Ryoma: great! Good timing. I'll pick you up. Wait for me...
Sakuno blinks. Does it mean he will accompany her? Seconds later, before even she collected her thoughts, a loud horning sound from outside wakes her u from her reverie. She immediately got up from her seat and hurriedly went down.
"I thought you and that boy has no plans today?" Seiichi asks the moment he saw the familiar car outside their house
"Uhm... Ryoma-kun will just accompany me" Sakuno answered.
"Okay... Take care Sa-chan" Seiichi kisses her temples
"You too oniichan" Sakuno smiled
.
.
.
"I thought you going out with your senpais?" Sakuno asks the moment he started the engine of his car.
"Yes. We have. We are playing billiards earlier" Ryoma answered with shrugs.
"Mou! You shouldn't have accompanied me then." Sakuno pouted. "I don't want to intervened your time with your senpais"
"It's fine. When I told them that I'm going to accompany you, they let me go with wide open arms. They support my priorities "Ryoma chortled.
"Ohhhh..." Sakuno mumbled. She looks away hiding her heated face, pretended not to hear the word 'priorities' as he said.
Little did she know, Ryoma was silently looking at her, a ghost smile appeared on his lips seeing her blushed face.
.
.
.
"Need help?" Ryoma appeared on her back, having trouble to get the book she wanted, Sakuno keeps from tiptoeing for a while now.
"Uh... Yes please... Can you please get that book for me?" She shyly muttered, she looks away, seeing how closely the distance they have, she felt her heart races faster than usual.
"Okay... Just a second" With one swift move, the tennis prince got the book she wants, Sakuno could literally smell his manly perfume. "Here. So, you like constellations of stars?" Ryoma asks seeing the book is all about the constellations, mysteries of universe and such.
"Yes! You see... This is the latest edition! I've been collecting these since I could remember" Sakuno muttered happily.
Ryoma chuckled, seeing her happily excited like this is somehow pricelessly amusing.
"Then next time let's go stargazing" Ryoma muttered.
Sakuno who seems shocked for a moment, she stared at him for a while "uhmm... You got bored if you do that" she answered with bitter smile, of course, who would like that kind of activity, even Akaya hates to accompany her whenever she begs him to come with her.
"Says who?" Ryoma tilted his head wondering. "You see... I know a good spot where you can see stars in perfect view. You will surely love that" he nonchalantly replied "We can bring snacks while stargazing. How's that?"
Sakuno felt her heart squeeze, not because she felt pain rather, she was so happy. Slowly, she nodded her head smiling so brightly to him. "Okay"
And a contented smile appears on Ryoma's face seeing her smiling like that.
.
.
.
"Uhm... Thank you so much for today" Sakuno looks away, her heart started pounding once again seeing the intensity of his gazed.
For some reason, Ryoma went out of his car to see her off, pretty unusual since he never got off of his car whenever he takes her home. He just waves his hand goodbye and left.
But right now, seeing him face to face, looking at her seriously like the last time he confessed makes Sakuno shivered nervously. To hide her unsteady heartbeat and panic she tried to give her best smile.
"Uhmm... So good night and take care..." She said, trying to look at him at once.
However, the tennis prince was just staring at her, both hands on his pocket, the intensity of gaze he was giving her was so intense, it feels like she was going to melt any seconds.
"Uhmm... Do you want to say something Ryoma-kun?" She bravely asks. Seeing how he unmoving from his spot and keeps looking at her. "If not, I am first to go inside..." She informed. "Thank you for this day again. See you at University" she was about to turn around when he speaks.
"Neh, bunny ... "
Sakuno looks at him, she gasps seeing the approximately close they are. He moves one step closer to her. Now the distance between them was inches apart.
"I am not just going to wait" Ryoma said with smirked.
Sakuno brows furrowed. She stared at him dumbfounded.
"I said, I am not just going to wait for you and do nothing." He muttered.
"I don't understand what are you saying" Sakuno was still confused.
He bends his body to hers, whispering every word by word. "While waiting, I'm going to attack too. Enough for your heart to be flutter. Enough for you to see only me. Enough for you to look only to me" He said with a smile.
Sakuno gasps.
"Brace yourself bunny. This time, I will make you fall in love with me" he smirked.
With eyes widening in surprised, Sakuno blushed on his declaration of war.
-end of chapter 6-
to be continued...
And that's chapter 6. I'm still working on chapter 23 of This Love is ours. And currently doing the next chapter for Ryosaku alphabet.