It was Tuesday about mid-afternoon. He had just finished his last report for the week. His next thought was deciding if he should go to his hometown to visit family for Thanksgiving or stay local and maybe join in with Motoki and his family for the holiday.
A notification came through. It was for an Instagram post. Usagi posted a photo of an airplane window with the caption, "Time to Rest and Relax…" No description or place of where she was headed or how she would spend her time.
If she knew how much he visited her pages, she would probably put a restraining order on him or put him in jail for stalking. He was kind of disgusted with himself. But still, he continued to browse her account.
She was a model – had been for a while now – thanks to her friend Minako. He could remember the day she left, leaving college – and him – for good, to travel with Minako to some modeling agency. He never cried more in his entire life, except maybe the day she broke up with him, her leaving solidifying the ending of them, their relationship, friendship – all of it.
Usagi was flown all over the world and posed for various shoots with different people in multiple outfits and scenes. Her body was perfect for it and so she was requested frequently and that gave him all the eye candy his hungry eyes could ask for.
Memories came back as he scrolled through her photos. He started from the beginning of her career - the first photo being her in a skimpy bikini with Minako. There were multiple modeling photos of Usagi and Minako together because they looked so much alike and clients were requesting two similar-looking models. Eventually Usagi made a name for herself and they went separate ways, joining back together every now and then for a promo or anniversary shoot.
Mamoru remembered when he first saw the photo of Usagi with her arm outstretched, holding the hand of a man taking the photo of her. On her left ring finger was a diamond ring twinkling at him, mocking him while she wore the most beautiful smile. He almost threw up in the college library that he was studying in when he received the notification. He slammed his books closed and walked out without any explanation to his study buddies.
When he could finally stomach looking at the photo again, he saw comments stating how lucky she was to be chosen to model the latest Vera Wang wedding ring collection. He literally almost died of relief when he read those comments and more so of her replied comment of, "It was so beautiful but I was so scared to damage it!"
It didn't help matters when a week later she posted a photo of her dressed in a long white wedding gown with a groom holding her close and touching foreheads with her. His panic attack came back in full force when he tricked himself into believing the previous photo's comments were false and she really was engaged and now she was marrying this wrong-for-her man who should be him, and Gods did he almost weep in his professor's office as he waited for his test score.
He could only blame himself. Mamoru could just unfollow her and not pay her page any attention. It would be his own fault if he died of an actual heart break.
In an attempt to ease his disaster of a life, he reached out to Usagi with a post of his own. He tagged her by thanking her with a photo he took of him studying, using a special pencil with winking bunnies and hearts all over it that she gifted him to give him good luck on his exams. It was the last gift she ever gave him and on that fateful day no less. He still had the pencils to this day and treasured them with reverence.
When he woke up the next day, he saw that she loved the photo and even commented, "You never needed them to succeed. I always knew you could do it on your own…" Even though others, their friends, and her followers appreciated her comment, he only read it as her saying He never needed HER and he was always capable without HER. It crushed him further.
–xx–
Little did he know, Usagi cried inconsolably that day and had to call out of work, claiming she was too sick to get out of bed. Her heart ached. While she was happy that he actually opened her gift, used them, and appreciated them, it still reminded her that they were separated now and even if her life looked glamorous on the outside, she was far from it on the inside.
So when he finally did pass those tests and graduate college, he treated himself to a trip to Hawaii. It was the trip he and Usagi had always planned taking together when they graduated, but those plans never panned out. He figured she had probably already experienced Hawaii with her new modeling friends and it was just another place to visit.
Still, he reached out to her again, posting a photo of their tickets and tagging her, asking her, "Wanna join me on our graduation trip?"
Others had started to follow him because he seemed close with Usagi and so they thought they could get to her through him or just thought he was handsome and wanted him for themselves. They would comment, "I'll go with you!" or "Aww, how sweet! Join him, Usagi!" or "What a gentleman. I want my own Mamoru!"
Usagi saw the post after her latest shoot and again started crying. Thankfully she was done for the day so she could ruin the makeup by running it down her wet cheeks. She was upset with herself for forgetting. Forgetting their plans. Upset that he was still going through with their plan without her. Upset that he even still wanted anything to do with her. Upset that she no longer had rights to him or their plans. What a mess. She would still join him, but she was scheduled to be in Europe for the rest of this month. What could she respond to him with? The comments others were giving him were squeezing her heart so much that she couldn't breathe.
He could easily have any woman he wanted. Mamoru was a literal heartthrob. Her heartthrob once… He would probably find some beautiful and loving woman in Hawaii and he would move there and make babies with her. Usagi threw her phone on her couch before she realized she needed to respond. She started to bite her nails when Minako came over to her.
"Oh sweetie, don't do that! You'll ruin the paint!" Usagi pouted and slouched in defeat. "Honey, that is not a good look for you."
"Mina! You're not helping!" She snapped and then apologized for it. "I'm sorry."
Minako patted her shoulder. "It's okay dear. What's the matter? How can I help?"
Usagi passed her phone to Minako so she could read his post.
"I don't know if I should gag or –oof!" Usagi threw a pillow at her and began weeping.
Minako gave in. "Okay, okay. I don't know why you still like the guy. Didn't he cheat on you?"
She gave Minako a death glare, causing Minako to throw her hands up in surrender. "Fine. Whatever." She then began typing away and scrolling and typing some more before she gave the phone back to Usagi. "Here. Cheer up!"
Usagi quickly took her phone back to see what Minako did or said.
The comment by Usagi – rather Minako – read, "With all my heart I wish I could join you, but I am confined to the City of Love for the time being. Meet me here and we can do a raincheck in Hawaii?" A photo of the Eiffel Tower they took last week accompanied the post.
Being satisfied with the response, she nodded her approval to Minako. Minako reached for her hand and pulled her up. "Wanna go to my place and watch romance movies and pig-out on ice cream?"
Usagi laughed then sniffled. "Thank you, Mina!"
"What are friends for? Now come on! I'll let you pick out the movie AND the ice cream!"
While Usagi was happy for the time being, she knew Mamoru couldn't afford to make a trip to Paris. Maybe she should reach out to him? Then she would have to deal with the break-up conversation. And what if he went to Hawaii on his own after all? Now she was anxious to see his response.
But it never came. What came instead were pictures of him in Hawaii, having the time of his life.
The first photo was just of the beach from his beach house.
The next photo to come was of him running on the beach with headphones on. He could be a model in a Bose or Nike ad, it was so perfect.
It was the following photo that had Usagi fanning herself and panting. The photo taken was a close up of him surfing, water dripping his sculpted body and angled in a way that made him look like Poseiden, God of The Sea, rising from the water like he was being worshiped by it. Worshiped by her and all the thousands of women following him.
Usagi wondered, 'Who was taking these photos anyway?' It was probably a woman who was presently worshiping his body… Ugh! She needed to go to bed, to sleep. An early rise for an early photo shoot. This just made her want to return the favor with a one-upper photo. 'Didn't Mina say they were looking for a lingerie model?' Usagi thought back to an earlier conversation.
–xx–
The followers he was gaining were empowering him. He felt wanted again and he was kind of high off of it. Ladies and models were approaching him on the beach, asking to hang out, go out, join him, anything and everything. As flattering as it was, none of them were who he was wishing for. Usagi had posted some behind-the-scenes photos, but none of her. He was starting to tweak out, needing his Usagi-fix.
At a surfing competition Mamoru joined in on the next day, produced so many photos, but they were mainly of him taking photos with fans in itty-bitty, teeny-tiny swimsuits that Usagi couldn't handle. Luckily, Mamoru was taking a page from Keanu Reeves' book because his hands weren't touching any of the ladies. This made Usagi feel a little better. He was just so effing gorgeous, it was sickening to have all these ladies fawning over him. 'He was hers, damnit!'
An up-and-coming photographer asked if he could take photos of Mamoru while he was vacationing. Mamoru had an amazing body that the photographer knew would sell to magazines. All Mamoru had to do was what he normally would do on vacation. And so came the photos. Tagging Mamoru in all of his photos helped him out because he had a great base of followers. Maybe they could help each other out…
It was awful how desperate Usagi was acting to get the hottest shot of her in a sexy lingerie number. There were a few amazing shots, but her favorite was a close up of her in a straddle position on satin sheets bunched up, with her biting down on a pearl necklace, having her hair cascading around her. Then there was one of her catching the sun's rays, laying on the sand with sprinkles of it on her body like glitter as the water rushed up to try and rinse it off for her.
Those photos caused Mamoru to take continuous cold showers and were his new favorites. It also opened up a new fantasy of what to do in the bed and on the beach and with who…
Another photo was her holding an award, dressed in a silver tulle illusion neckline gown, with three-quarter sheer sleeves and cascading silver embroidery that fanned out near her toned calves. She was radiant in that dress. He even had the chance to see her in it up close and personal at one point…
It was when, maybe a month later, Mamoru, now back in L.A., was invited to an award show by his model friend and his girlfriend. It was interesting because so many people actually knew who Mamoru was and so he was permitted back-stage access to mingle with all the models.
During the award show, his model friend won the award for "Social Mover of the Year." Unsurprisingly, yet surprising because he didn't know she was in attendance due to her late arrival, Usagi won the award for "Breakout Star Woman." All the winners eventually made it to a room where they were celebrated. Mamoru tagged along with his model friend before he realized Usagi would be there too. They saw each other across the room – Usagi was standing next to Minako and Mamoru was standing next to a beautiful and voluptuous redhead. Not knowing that the redheaded woman was Mamoru's model friend's girlfriend, Usagi excused herself from the party before Mamoru could even make it to her to say hello, let alone explain who he was standing next to.
–xx–
Her flight just landed so she was rushing to get to the award ceremony. She was already forty-five minutes late and she wasn't even dressed appropriately yet. Once arriving at the venue, Usagi quickly threw on her Monique Lhuillier gown, just in time for her to receive her award. She thought she recognized a familiar whistle but the bright lights on the stage didn't allow her to see the crowd in front of her.
She was standing next to Minako, casually leaning on her from exhaustion. It was a long flight with not much sleep. Even though Minako reassured Usagi that she looked like a million bucks, Usagi thought she was hallucinating when she saw Mamoru's God-like figure across the room. It made her smile until she saw the breath-taking beauty next to him. There was no way that was Mamoru…except he had the same exact trademark smirk and identical piercing blue eyes… Usagi's eyes widened once she recognized the man of her dreams, the love of her life.
"I'm sorry, Minako, I'm just not feeling it tonight. I'm too tired to stay awake. Please, give my excuses. Love you." She told her with a kiss to her cheek.
"Okay, love. Get some rest. I'll check on you later. Love you." Minako smiled reassuringly at her as she watched her walk away. It wasn't until she looked up again that she saw what she thought Usagi might have run away from. The heartbreaking, albeit gorgeous, man was standing in the middle of the room, watching Usagi leave him again. He looked defeated, causing Minako to actually pity him. And so Minako mentally notated to call Usagi's mom in the morning.
–xx–
In his office, as he's reminiscing, a ringtone of "You're Losing Me" rang out softly, adding to the air of melancholy. Mamoru reached for his phone and saw that it was one of the other most important women in his life calling him.
He answered, "Hey, mom."
"Mamoru! So good to hear from you!" Her chirpy voice came through to him with maybe a bit of sarcasm?
He flinched at that. "Yeah, sorry, it's been really busy at work this month." Mamoru sat back in his office chair, giving her his undivided attention. He was homesick and missed his family. It had probably been six months since he last saw them.
"You're always working so hard. You should take a break and come visit."
Again, there was that guilt laid on thick. "If not this holiday, I will definitely make it for Christmas."
"Okay, dear. I understand. Call me on Thanksgiving. Everyone will be coming over so you can talk to them all too. If you want."
"I promise to call." He tried to acquiesce in her request.
"Alright, I'll let you get back to work. I have my daughters coming over soon. Love you. Bye!"
"Love you, too. By–wait–!" The line ended so he was cut off. Did she.. she has one daughter… but she said it plural… who is she talk–
"Oh sh–!"
–xx–
"Well, is he coming?" Rei, her daughter, asked.
"Of course." Her mother answered with utmost confidence.
"How do you know? Did he say he was?" Rei questioned with suspicion, her eyebrow raised and her arms crossed over her chest.
Her mother looked to where Usagi was making her way down the stairs. "I just pushed him in the right direction."
Rei turned to where her mother was looking and instantly knew what she meant. "That'll work!"
They high-fived each other and Usagi asked, "What'd I miss?"
–xx–
It was Thursday, Thanksgiving, about mid-morning. Mamoru was just waking up. He had jet-lag from flying in on the red-eye from L.A. to New York. He was still so tired but he was so anxious to see his family, and of course, Usagi. With a quick shower and shave, throwing on some jeans and a warm sweater, he was heading down the stairs.
The aroma of mixed foods overwhelmed his senses. He didn't realize how hungry he was. It was then he decided to head towards the kitchen.
Getting closer to the kitchen, he thought he could make out the song, "Mashed Potato Time" By Dee Dee Sharp. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was on the television and one of the floats was playing the song. What he saw when he actually made it to the kitchen was hilarious and heartwarming. Rei was holding a bowl that she was stirring while dancing and Usagi was actually mashing what looked to be potatoes to him while dancing. They were also singing along with his mother joining in from her position at the stove.
Usagi was such a sight for his sore eyes. From his point of view, he could make out her profile. Her long pearl-blond tresses were cascading down her back, only tied back at the top with a clip to keep it out of her way while cooking. She had a soft pink, fluffy sweater on and jeans that enhanced her amazing bubble-butt that she was swaying and shaking every now and then as she danced. Her dainty feet were bare, revealing a similar-to-her-sweater coloring on her toes.
He missed her more than he allowed himself to acknowledge. His heart belonged to her and her alone. He never even tried to fill the empty void where his heart should be.
Mamoru's mother noticed the change in him the day his heart was ripped out. Usagi was a self-proclaimed daughter of hers, practically knowing Usagi her entire life and Usagi was meant to be Mamoru's wife, making Usagi her daughter-in-law, so daughter in marriage too. She didn't know or understand what happened, but she knew these two were made for each other and that's why she continued to try to bring them together any chance she could. It wasn't her fault that these two were stubborn and loved misery. Well, they could miserate together for all she cared, but she knew if they stayed in a room long enough, they would work things out.
His frame leaned against the door archway as he continued to watch them. This is what he missed – what he was happy to see and why he decided to make it to see family for Thanksgiving. Among other things…
Right before the song ended, his mom turned around and noticed him at the doorway. He saw her and smiled kindly, giving her a shh motion with his finger to his mouth. She allowed him to keep watching the scene and made her way over to him. He embraced her when she was near and they watched the ladies dance, happily amused.
Rei turned to see him and hollered excitedly, "Mamoru!" She then ran over to him with a beaming smile, barreling into him for a hug.
Usagi looked up and noticed them hugging. She smiled softly at the act, happy for them to be reunited. More family members heard Rei's excitement and made their way to the kitchen. Usagi thought it was a good time to feed the children a snack so she grabbed the tray of food to take into the next room. Mamoru noticed her leave, but kept up pretenses in front of his family.
–xx–
Having dropped off the quiches, Usagi grabbed the tray and headed outside to one, cool off, and two, get her thoughts together. She and Mamoru grew up together and started dating in high school. When college came around, they broke up and they hadn't really seen each other since. Well, in person. Usagi ventured all over the world while Mamoru headed to the West Coast where he has been ever since. His family would take turns on which holiday they would celebrate where. It just so happened to be the opposite schedule of what Usagi's family would do and so she never saw him for the holidays.
This year, however, her family was staying home and they lived right next door. The two families decided The Chibas would handle Thanksgiving and the Tsukinos would handle Christmas. Usagi was happy to see Rei so she decided to go over and help with Thanksgiving dinner. She did not expect to see Mamoru today, although it's not too much of a stretch since all of his family was here.
In the back of her mind, the part she was trying to ignore, she was hoping to see him because she was so desperately in love with the man. Still. Even after all these years. The road not taken looked real good right now… If only he would have chased after her back then. What girl doesn't want the man she loves to give chase and swoop her up and love her to pieces? Pieces now are just of her broken heart.
The urge to flee came to her mind, so she walked to her house next door to get into her car. The engine turned on and she backed out of the driveway and just started to drive. Usagi ended up parking between the Methodist and the school that used to be theirs. Sitting there, her thoughts went back to that fateful day in college…
"Usa… I don't think now is a good time. I really need to study for tomorrow's exam." He watched her eyes dart to his side where Saori was sitting at his desk. It wasn't what she was thinking. Usagi would understand, right?
At his dorm door, she could see the woman behind him. That's when she decided to take Minako's advice and leave with her. Usagi hadn't planned on leaving with her, but now… seeing 'her' Mamo with another woman and him rejecting her…he never not allow her in, no matter how important the exam was or who was in the room with him.
Her eyes darted back to Mamoru and she actually faked a smile to him. He knew it as soon as he saw it. Mamoru was the only soul who could tell if she was being honest.
"It's…it's okay. I just wanted to drop this off." She showed him the wrapped gift and placed it on the table by his door. "And… and to say goodbye." Usagi gave a half smile and walked away, leaving him, with what felt like, for good, down the dorm hallway.
"Goodbye?" Mamoru followed her out into the hallway and reached for her arm to stop her. "Usako, wait!" Usagi stopped but didn't turn around. Her eyes were filled with tears. This was it. She was really saying goodbye to him. After all these years. She thought they would be forever.
He spun her and gasped at her tearful face. "Why are you leaving?"
"I've finished my exams." It was now or never. "And… I'm clearly just a distraction to you, so there's really nothing holding me here anymore." The look on his face as she made that claim broke them both. He dropped her arm. Her words were like shards of ice piercing his heart like a dagger.
"..." Mamoru didn't know what to say to that. He was mostly shocked and frozen by what she just said. This was the time he should deny her claims, tell her how much he needed her – distraction or not – how much he truly loved her… but his heart was throbbing painfully. So much so that he had to grasp it and take deep breaths.
"Mamoru?" Saori emerged from his door, checking on him. He turned to her, for some sort of interruption between him and Usagi. Maybe he thought it would hurt less if he wasn't looking into the deep pools of sadness that were currently Usagi's eyes.
When he turned back around, Usagi was already halfway down the hallway. Again, his mind was telling him to chase after her, but his heart was rooted to the spot, terrified of what was happening.
A truck parked behind her, waking her from her musings. The streets were quiet, but holiday lights and decorations were adorned about the buildings, lingering like a bad perfume due to her sour mood.
A knock on her driver side window followed by, "Usa," scared her.
Usagi failed to notice the truck who parked behind her was Mamoru's. She closed her eyes to prepare herself for this conversation. Seeing him in the kitchen – in real life – and not on her phone, stalking him on his social media, was raw and jarring. Her heart hadn't healed and her emotions were all over the place.
With a deep breath, and grabbing the silver tray, which she still carried with her like a security blanket, she opened her car door and stepped out, turning to him with her biggest hoax of a smile and said, "Happy Thanksgiving!"
Mamoru saw right through her cordialness, but offered her a friendly smile in return. "Happy Thanksgiving, Usa."
They were silent with each other for a while before she simply nodded and started to walk past him. Where to, she had no clue, but she still felt that urge to flee. The tray was held over her chest, protecting her heart like a shield. He noticed too, and reached for her arm when she tried to leave him. Again. "Usa, please wait. Talk to me?"
Both of them felt the ache each of them left each other. Still holding the tray tightly to her chest, he pulled her in for a hug, unable to resist her nearness. She allowed it, secretly wanting it more than anything, surprising her. Inhaling his scent brought back so many sweet memories. Same was for Mamoru, the feeling of having her back in his arms was immense and comforting.
"Let's get in my truck to warm up." He said this to her as he pulled her back some and rubbed her upper arms. She agreed by nodding.
They went inside his truck, the heat from his earlier drive surviving the cold. He turned on the seat warmer for her. She gave a silent thank you to him by smiling genuinely. The dashboard was still the same. Usagi, with his permission, etched M & U with hearts on either side of their initials when they first started dating. This truck was somewhere they spent many times making out and sneaking off in when they were in high school. More memories came flooding back to them.
"Uh, sorry, I hope this is okay?" Mamoru asked when he noticed her reaction to the area of fond remembrances.
"Um, yeah, this is fine." Usagi tried to get comfortable on the tan leather seat. Mamoru sat back and rested his head on the headrest, trying to think of how to go about getting his girl back.
"I'm happy to see you. I've…I've missed you." He started, not really knowing where to start.
Usagi blushed and tilted her head down. "It's good to see you, too." She didn't want to reveal her stalking habits and how she had been following his every move through his posts or friends tagging him in posts. Gaining confidence, she looked back up to him. He was staring at her with sad eyes. "Everything been going okay for you?"
This casual talk was getting them nowhere fast, but if it helped open her up more, he would do it. "Business wise, things have been good. Personally, not so much."
Her face turned concerned. "What do you mean?"
"I meant it when I said I've missed you." His eyes were pleading with her to understand something.
She understood what he meant, but she wasn't sure she could handle this yet, so she jumped out of the truck and into the cold weather, leaving the tray on her seat, and walking down the sidewalk. He followed her out through his door, terrified he would lose her if he didn't run after her this time.
When he reached her, she turned and said, "We could call it even. You could call me babe for the weekend. I'm staying at my parents house."
That kind of angered Mamoru. "I don't want to pretend everything is fine! I want to work this out and start fresh. With you."
Usagi was hearing what she wanted, but she wasn't sure it could work out. She kept picturing that brunette in his dorm room…and his rejection of her in front of that woman. And the redhead…
"We've escaped it before. Remember how you watched me leave? But if it's okay with you, it's okay with me." She was frustrated at reliving that hurtful time in her life. Never having really processed it all. With him. But she wanted him. Gods did she want him. What was she doing?
He ran his fingers through his hair and interlocked them on top of his head. "I know I've hurt you…" She snorted at that. "…and I am remorseful for that every day of my miserable life. I regret my actions that day. Of not running after you. And not because of any woman. Nothing ever happened between them and me. I would never hurt you like that, Usako."
She had the tiniest bit of satisfaction that he sounded like he was as afflicted as she was. And to finally hear his apology and that nothing ever happened with those ladies and him. Mamoru would never lie to her.
He put his hands in front of him in a begging manner. "But my heart was affected that day too and hasn't healed. It won't heal…not unless…"
"Unless we forgive each other." Usagi finished, understanding. They were one and the same with their hearts, unable to heal without their other half. Mamoru nodded.
"I'm sorry, too." She acknowledged. It was as if a heavy weight was lifted from their shoulders. Like the tallest hurdle was finally cleared.
"Time flies." She stated with a humorless laugh, "Messy as the mud on your truck tires." Usagi then kicked his back tire lightly. He looked, seeing the mud caked on his tires and bottom portion of his truck. Mamoru's lips upturned.
"I, too, am missing you and your smile." She confessed to him. He quickly turned to her, looking to see if she was being deceitful or not. Not wanting to scare her off, he just stood there, waiting for her to continue somehow, someway.
"Hear me out." He could only nod, terrified if he did anything else, she would run from him.
Usagi was tired of running, of not feeling loved, of being empty. They needed to get past this.
"We could just ride around, for old times' sake. Catch up with one another. Explain a few things… and I'll be yours for the weekend, before you leave and go back to L.A."
He still hadn't moved. "What if I want you for more than the weekend?"
She smiled. "Let's just take it one step at a time and see how it goes?"
"Babe, I will do whatever it takes to call you mine - even for a weekend."
"We can run from here, but it always brings us back. Who would have thought that it would be our hometown that would bring us back together? Where it all started?" Usagi walked into his embrace, wrapping her arms around his waist, gripping the back of his sweater with white knuckles.
Mamoru could only hold her tighter, reveling at having the woman he was destined to have at his side again.
"It's never been colder to leave the warmest bed I've ever known." Usagi admitted and Mamoru comforted her with warming hands.
"If you want, we can sleep in half the day and not leave it?" He suggested and she laughed before she brought his lips down to refamiliarize herself with them.
"'Tis the damn season, write this down, babe."