OPENING THEME:
EPISODE 35:
ZUNO KNOWS: MORE SECRETS ARE REVEALED
"That's a tragic story," Master Roshi said thoughtfully but added in glee, "Now we're through with that. I've got me a wish!"
"Um, we just got brutally killed and you want to make a wish!" Yamcha said. It was obvious he was still in a panic.
"It better not be a lifetime of naughty magazines," scolded Chi-Chi, crossing her arms.
"And why would I want that!" he snapped, "This is important!" Blood sprung to life, dripping down his wild moustache, "But, hmm..." He shook his head and regained focus, "No - this is very important! Shenron, I wish to have back my house and island." And in a rushed whisper, he added, "And a lifetime supply of naughty magazines."
Eyes aglow, the dragon responded immediately, "Your wish has been granted. Farewell."
The sky suddenly returned to a bright, sunny afternoon much to the dismay of the onlookers who were growing accustomed to the dark. They looked on as the dragonballs, now stone, scattered.
"Whoa! Cool!" exclaimed Jika.
"Why did you do that for!" yelled Bulma, "If I wasn't so pregnant, I would come over there and clobber you right now."
"I thought you guys would be more than happy to get rid of me," Master Roshi explained.
"Well," Bulma said, her tone now calm, "You do have a point."
"Yeah, but we still have a lot of questions to ask," Krillin said.
"To be honest, I didn't gather anything significant that could help us out now either," Tien said.
"Maybe if we had a little bit more context about what the androids and Dr. Gero had a heated debate over," acknowledged Piccolo, "Why did he see it fit to release them when he did. He made it obvious he had no choice. They were to only be awakened in time for Cell to have them for dinner."
"Yeah, that's a good point you got there, pal," Krillin said, "But I've got to say I never really thought how hard it must have been for her - to be turned into a machine would've driven me to madness too."
"And to think Gohan survived because of Vegeta!" Goku exclaimed, "Maybe that's the missing link. Vegeta's much too nice in that timeline."
"Well, of course," Vegeta said smugly, "Because of your imbecile, I got to defeat Frieza for myself."
"So, do you still kinda hate me then?" he asked curiously.
"I'll think about it."
The answer came as cool as a summer breeze but it was more than enough to force Goku to gulp down nothing in particular. He was definitely not used to a relaxed Vegeta.
"So how then do we get more answers then?" asked Bulma.
"Was gonna say super dragonballs but then I remembered," Yamcha said, "But, hey, what about that guy that helped give all the info on finding 'em."
"Zuno!" Bulma gasped, "Oh yeah. I forgot about him."
"Didn't you say that you needed to be on a multi-year waiting list or some such nonsense like that?" her husband asked.
"Well, Jaco kinda helped me out last time. Maybe I can..."
"Zuno!" Master Roshi shouted, "You guys know Zuno!"
"Um, yeah. I made a visit there before the Universe Tournament," she answered, eyeing the old man curiously, "Do you know him, Master Roshi?"
"Not me - my sister does."
"What?" This news alarmed Bulma to the point that she almost fell out of her seat. "You knew about him all along and said nothing."
"Again. Not me. I'll get Baba here right away." He reached within the confines of his pocket and withdrew a small, black flip phone and after a quick dialogue, Baba popped into being before them, floating atop her crystal ball.
"Took you from when Goku was a boy till he's a grandfather for you to contact me," Baba greeted with a bitter remark much to awakening her brother's bitter comeback.
"Well, hello to you too. You always did say to only use this here phone for emergencies."
"Fine. What is it?"
"I do recall you going on and on about a Zuno at one point. The guy that could answer anything like a beast. We want a direct call to him now. And we don't want to wait a whole bunch of years either."
"Ah, yes, that's easy," she said, her long face suddenly pulled into a wide grin. She dismounted the crystal ball and placed it on the table before them. After several hand gestures and incoherent muttering, a cloud appeared within the ball. A quiet fell over the crowd as they watched it wither away to reveal a man whose oversized earlobes paled in comparison to the incredibly wide girth of his head.
"Correction. Way cool!" exclaimed Jika, inching closer to get a better view.
"You can go ahead," Baba said and stepped aside.
"OK. Thanks." Bulma straightened herself up and with a heavy sigh, she continued, "How would Dr. Gero be the one to cause the time crack?"
"I know only universe facts. Ask me something else." The nonchalant drone of his voice boomed over the onlookers.
"Um...OK. Do you know how a time crack happens?" she asked, the utterance of each word marked the care and consideration she took to execute the question as clearly as she could.
In an instant, the answer came. "When one manipulates time. You see, time is like a clock. There are twelve universes and between each of those each universe can only have a maximum of four timelines. A time crack will happen if one tries to go in the past or the future again."
"That's exactly what the Supreme Kai said," Goku said, in awe of the big guy.
"Four?" Gohan said, turning to his father, "But wouldn't have Trunks made about that many just by his coming back. I calculated it must have been that amount."
"No, son. The Supreme Kai confirmed he only came once."
"Really?" he said, unconvinced.
"Yeah, the one he created to come to us is the only one he created. And Dr. Gero created two as well as the time crack."
"Hmm," Bulma started, shifting her focus from Goku back to the man in the crystal ball. "Would you be able to tell us if Dr. Gero used a time machine?"
"Time machine!" Zuno said, rocking back with laughter. The sudden switch from undeniable boredom to his now fitful uproar was shocking and it showed on the faces of everyone.
"I don't get it. What's so funny?" asked Goten.
"I don't know, kid," Bulma said to him. As she turned back to Zuno, her frown twisted, baring sharp teeth. "Hey! Hey you! It's not a laughing matter. The future me was able to build one, I'm sure he could've done the same."
Bulma's bold protest only furthered his raucous laughter much to the annoyance of all who were forced to listen.
"Would you stop already!" she growled.
"There is no such thing as a time machine," Zuno said frankly, once he regained his composure, "No one from the beginning of time to the end of time would ever be able to build such a thing. It's like a utopia world in existence. It's not going to happen."
"Well, it did happen! I made it happen!" she screamed, losing her cool.
"Really?" he said, his interest piqued, "Please tell."
"Um..." Bulma drew a blank and felt the heat of shame creep upon her at the expectant eyes anxiously begging for her response.
"You mean you never even tried to figure out how you did it?" asked Tien in awe.
"Believe me," Vegeta said, "My wife and I spent countless nights trying to figure it out, we never even came close."
"So how then can one manipulate time then?" asked Yamcha.
"It sounds easier than it really is but certain mystical races with time abilities will have to have their power magnified beyond your wildest dreams," Zuno answered.
"And how would one magnify their power?" Krillin asked.
"Well, a truly brilliant scientific race, with the know how on creating devices that evoke and propel mystical powers where none existed before."
"And how would somebody do that! I made a cannon that could mimic massive physical power. But I only did that after years of secretly testing on Vegeta and Goku. And it's still a prototype for goodness sake," Bulma admitted.
"What!" Goku squealed, "But how?"
"I have my ways," she said firmly.
"She stole some clippings of our hair," Vegeta answered matter-of-factly.
"Simple. By magic or by technology," Zuno answered.
"You dopes, that's the time machine!" Bulma said excitedly.
"Um, yeah, I would be inclined to agree if only it didn't seem like Trunks knew about any of this," Krillin offered, "Like, he was adamant you made it."
"Well then, who would have the technology to do something like that?"
"The greatest minds in all of the universe, of course. The Igmites."
"What?" Piccolo said, his eyes widening, "I went to visit them. I thought they only made energy bars - I would never have guessed they to be so incredible."
"Um, you needed a pick-me-up to eat or something, Piccolo?" asked Krillin with a quizzical look on his face.
"No, you moron. They were supplying Planet Mezora with these metal rods that could steal energy."
"You were on Mezora too, Piccolo?" asked Yamcha in disbelief.
"Why, yes. I was."
"Yeah, Mela's brother contacted me about those rods. So you're saying you actually met them?" Bulma asked.
Piccolo nodded.
"And I bet they look like super creepy aliens, right?" she said, squirming by the thought.
"Not much creepier than any of you," he answered frankly.
"Huh?" Bulma said, "You mean they look human? So are there any Igmites on Earth right now?"
"There's one amongst you right now," Zuno said.
This sent a shockwave through everyone.
"But I'm one of the most brilliant on the Earth," whimpered Bulma, "You mean I'm an alien?"
Zuno chuckled but did not answer.
"So who is it then? Gohan? I bet it's Gohan!"
"Y'know, that really doesn't make much sense," Goku said to her.
Zuno raised his hand with an affirmative finger. The entire group panicked and as such struggled to turn around to see exactly who he was pointing to.
"I always figured you weren't from around here, pal!" Krillin remarked.
"Well, I," Tien said, trying to come to terms with this reveal.
"Whoa, Dad. So does that make me an alien too?" Nigiri asked.
"They really do look like us!" Bulma said in awe.
"Well, he doesn't really look like you all, y'know," Oolong said.
Chi-Chi slammed a heavy fist on his head, "That's disrespectful!"
"No further questions," Zuno announced.
"What? Why!" Bulma asked.
"You ran out of questions!" Baba answered, "You're lucky you even got that many."
"And you didn't say anything! Well, we demand for more."
"You will have to kiss him on the cheek."
"No worries, she would even kiss you on the lips and all!" Goku said, scratching the back of his head in pretense.
Perking up by the mere mention of the word kiss, Zuno tacked on his golden pair of spectacles. However, he was taken aback and threw them off immediately. Wearing a sour expression, he showed his disgust, "Oh no! Not her! Never!"
"What?" Bulma snapped enraged.
"But you, Baba!" Zuno's voice suddenly became soft, his eyes fixed on the woman, "Anything, hot stuff!"
"Oh, oh!" she said, blushing, "That was a long time ago, big fella."
"You mean he finds that old hag more attractive than me!" wailed Bulma.
"Aw, don't be so hard on yourself," Goku started, "If it's any consolation, you're an old hag too."
The death stare sent his way drove him to tears. "What did you say?" she yelled.
"Um..." Goku gulped, leaning back awaiting to be pounced upon, "Was I not supposed to say that? Master Roshi said that you still look really pretty though and would still put you in his top ten list."
Her evil glare fell upon the old man who swiftly hid behind Goku's back.
"You mean you and Zuno dated, Baba?" asked Krillin, not believing it, "You really could've let us in on this guy ages ago, y'know."
"Well, dearie - I'm actually dead. Have been now for some time. It is not wise to spill the secrets of the living world, y'know. It's against my job description - I could get hacked if I did that and lose my privileges of coming here to help you guys. Ever."
"You're dead? Since when?" asked Master Roshi in awe, peeping his head out to stare wide-eyed at his sister.
"You mean she's your sister and you didn't even know!"
"I have to keep this state for my trespasses a hundred years back but look," Baba said as a photograph the size of her suddenly appeared, "I was quite the looker in my day!"
The woman in the photograph looked remarkably as she did now; the only differences were fewer wrinkles and black hair. She was wearing a flirtatious wink and her provocative pose gave insight to her intentions.
"Well, I guess everyone's got a type, huh!" Krillin remarked, "I mean these saiyans sure love their feisty babes. Maybe Zuno likes 'em ...well, like you, Baba!"
"Why thank you, dearie. I knew I always liked you," she said proudly.
"How 'bout you come over and spend some time," Zuno said in a mesmerized tone, his eyes shifting between the photograph and her. It was evident that he could not make up his mind which woman was more fetching.
"I can't big boy. Maybe one day - in Other World. Since my job is done here, I've got to go back."
"Bye, my love," he said, waving.
"Bye, lover," she said, blowing kisses. "Bye, all." And as sudden as she appeared, she was gone, along with her other-worldly possessions.
"Well, you live and learn," Master Roshi said, laughing.
"It's definitely true, now," Bulma said sadly, "I'm surrounded by a bunch of weirdos."
"Well, we learnt quite a bit," Yamcha said, "Aside from the fact that Baba's like some kinda ghost lady thing, we also now know that Dr. Gero's an Igmite."
"He never said anything like that," Chi-Chi said, "Why you'd say so?"
"Simple. Bulma and her Dad are the greatest, probably to be the only ones to figure out that bomb switch for the androids and even repaired an android. But she still claims that Dr. Gero's technology was out of this world - literally."
"So, you're saying that Gero's an alien now?" asked Krillin.
"I agree," Piccolo said, "Those machines, especially 16, were so surreal. Equipped with personality and even emotion. We've barely come close with our technology."
"So quick question guys," Goku said, "If he's an alien, then why was he a part of the Red Ribbon army?"
"Well, apparently us aliens are living amongst you guys," Tien said.
"Yeah but why did he go to all the trouble of creating Cell - a machine that needed like over 20 years to finally be functional when he already had 16 or even 17 and 18 or even himself," Piccolo said, "Even with the warning, we would have still been easily wiped out by those androids."
"I always just figured it was sheer madness," Krillin said, "Beats me."
"And about these energy bars," Bulma said. She took out a small case and removed one of the capsules. With a click of the button, clouds of smoke brewed and in its place was a long metal bar.
"What's that, Bulma?" asked Krillin.
"The only bar recovered. The Igmites had actually came here some time and offered these for sale but the Earth's King refused. They still left these as gifts. Been researching them but I can't understand how they steal power. Or maybe, they don't. I've touched this thing with my bare hands and never felt dizzy or anything."
Lifting his hand, Piccolo released an attack. The bar was reduced to specks of dusts.
"What was that for!"
"We can't take any risks. I don't trust those Igmites. They were much too willing to give us a mother load of those things without payment. And they were just too friendly."
"Point taken."
"Well, that does it," Goku said, "We pretty much figured all that we could! So why sweat it. I dunno 'bout you guys but I think it would be more fun thinking about the upcoming tournament."
"I second that," Tien said, resting a hand over his son's shoulders, "It's Nigiri's first time entering. I would appreciate it if you guys would come to support him."
"Typical Goku," started Krillin, "You sure know how to switch the topic to one of two things: food or fighting."
Goku laughed, his eyes closed as he scratched his head in pretense.
"Yeah, man! We'll be there. I've been hearing great things about your kid. He's been moving up the ranks like crazy!" Yamcha said, "And besides, I think my students could give him a run for his money."
"I'll be looking forward to it," Nigiri said, beaming with pride.
"So back to why I came here in the first place," Goku said, "I came to spar with Vegeta to prep so we could enter. We've got zero distractions this time around."
"I would have to be caught dead to participate in that hogwash," Vegeta said.
"But we still gotta get ready for Zeno's tournament, y'know. It could be any day now."
"It's been what - two years! And besides, how would these humans be any competition?"
"Um..." Goku said, drawing a blank, "It'll be fun?"
"I said no, Kakarot. You get someone worth my time and I'll be there to enter."
"Remember you made that promise," Goku said proudly.
"Alright, guys! Back to having fun! I'm starving," Bulma declared, eyeing the array of goodies laid out before her.
"We just lost another one - Earth this time. The final one there." The desperation in the man's tone was unmatched by his quivering hand.
"Do you think someone's caught on?"
"Just seems like these planets are ungrateful, that's all. We still have Mezora, though."
"Yes, but with the King and the Great Ruler imprisoned, they won't be investing in another shipment any time soon. If we keep to only Mezora, especially at this incredibly slow rate, it would be the end for us."
His wrinkled hand stopped it's frantic tapping on the keyboard so suddenly it seemed like he was frozen stiff, and then he fell without warning. The boy rushed to his aid.
"We need more energy some how - and soon," he sputtered.
"But, father, our best clientele has been scattered and moved on once again. Their leader Frieza is now dead. He died on this same planet - Earth."
They locked eyes for a moment.
"Yes, every aspect of him has been reduced to nothing." With a firm hand pressed against nothing in particular, a hologram of giant proportions filled the height of the building. Within it, they were staring at a set of ever-moving graphs. "But one!" he said, his eyes wide with surprise.
"What do you mean, father?"
"Look here. I've never seen anything like this."
Quickly perusing the data, the boy read off the details. "He has no ki. No atoms. No chemical bonds. No bone structures. Nothing." He too remained transfixed by the realisation, "But his presence. What is that?"
"See here, son," he said, pointing to the only unfaded reading, "His spiritual being is still very active. How bizarre!"
"So, he's alive but he's not. Do you think there's a way we could make him whole again?"
"Absolutely, my boy. Like an answered prayer, it happens when you least expect it. And with him back on things, we will have no end to our supply of power!"
END THEME:
PREVIEW OF NEXT EPISODE
Goku receives applause and cheering as he alights on the tournament stage.
"Son Goku here! Since when did I get so popular?"
A wide screen shows the footage of him versus Cell.
"OK, it looks like my secrets are out! See you NEXT TIME ON DRAGONBALL SUPER: LET THE TOURNAMENT BEGIN: WHO WILL WIN?"
END CREDITS: Author/Creator of the DBZ series and characters: Akira Toriyama
Author/Creator of this Story/Series; Creator of Baba's epic secrets: Chrissi B (c) 2023
A/N: "But we still gotta get ready for Zeno's tournament, y'know. It could be any day now." - The Tournament of Power for this story has not happened (AKA my story is different from what happened in the show). Zeno stated to prepare for the tournament (that it could happen at any time) and thus far they haven't heard a peep of it two years and counting.
And I hope you guys do appreciate my simplification of the timeline madness. (And I only realised just how truly mad it can get especially after recently finishing a fic by the name of "Broken Down Universe" by dragonbabezee. This story has so much theory, it went right over my head and so much talk of loops and a gazillion timelines. Absolute madness but a really fun story! It only added to my viewpoint the uselessness of a time machine (and even the uselessness of the Kais which is whole other topic to tackle for me some time later on in the story). And she also shared my obviously wacky idea for Boxer being a potential name for Trunks. ^_^ So yeah, after like 13 years (in a not broken down universe), Bulma can't even figure out how to make a time machine. Hmm...