Jack Thornton... Sergeant Jack Thornton... husband to Elizabeth Thornton

Nathan couldn't stop thinking about the implications.

"Plane actually. Nine months ago. Me and my best friend were coming home. It's crazy, y'know, he wouldn't have been able to come back with me if a spot hadn't opened up".

If a spot hadn't opened up. His spot. He should have been flying back stateside with Leland Coulter. He should be the one that died. But he wasn't. He was alive and Sergeant Jack Thornton was dead. Dead because of a decision that Nathan had made. There was no good reason for Nathan to have extended his tour. He had heard about a sergeant who was expecting his first child, but had one last mission to undertake before he could leave. Nathan had felt compassion and had volunteered to take the mission instead. That one decision had saved his life, at the expense of another's.

Nathan looked at the glowing end of his cigarette as these thoughts went through his mind. Rhetorically he asked, as he watched the orange embers burn and sizzle, 'am I going to hell for this'?

"Nathan"?

Nathan looked up. Elizabeth was standing in the middle of his walkway, bundled up in a lavender winter coat eith matching tobogan and mittens. Old Jack Frost had finally arrived.He would jave smiled kf he hadn't known. Instead, he ashamedly stubbed out the cigarette with his boot.

"Elizabeth".

"Your neighbor said you'd be back later this evening".

Nathan nodded and stood. Even though he was a good foot taller, he felt so incredibly small.

"I just wanted to know if you're alright. You've seemed so distant latel..."

Before Elizabeth could finish Nathan crumpled into a heep and began to wail. Elizabeth didn't know what to do as she watched him beat the ground.

Nathan had no idea what came over him. In one moment he was contemplating his eternity, the next a dam opened and his emotions came flooding out. Then, he felt the comforting hug of a woman. Instantly he recoiled, as if he'd touched a hot stove. As he cowered back, he saw the pity in Elizabeth's eyes, he saw the hurt of his action and the sorrow she felt for her husband. And here she was, trying to comfort his killer.

"Please", he croaked, "leave".

"Nathan, you don't have to be alone".

"You shouldn't be here".

"Nathan, you're my friend".

"Would you still be my friend of you knew I'm the reason you're a widow"?

The news shocked Elizabeth as much as it surprised Nathan himself for having blurted it out.

"What"?

Nathan began to cry anew.

"I was supposed to come home with Lee", he said through his tears, "I was supposed to die. I gave Jack my spot on the plane".

Nathan and Elizabeth sat for what felt like hours on the new fallen snow.

"It's not your fault Nathan", Elizabeth finally said.

"How"?

Elizabeth sighed. She didn't have an answer. But she could relate.

"When I was seven, my mother had a minature poodle named Max. Every day when I would come home from school I'd leave the front door open. Max would escoand we'd spend the afternoon chasing him. everyday my mom would tell me not to leave the door open. Finally the day came when Max escaped, and a car hit him. I cried for three hours straight, blaming myself for Max's death. But it wasn't my fault. Sure I left the door open, but it was by accident that the car hit him. You did something wonderful for Jack, you gave him a gift".

Nathan almost sneered. "And what's that"?

"You gave him hope. Hope of seeing his wife, of seeing the birth of his son".

"But he didn't".

"But he believed he would. If it had been you, wouldn't you be looking forward to Allie? Even if you'd died, you'd have died with hope. Nathan, Jack is in a better place, he's home where he belongs".

"He belongs with you, I...".

"You are here. Allie is here. I'm here", she said, taking his hand, "we're just waiting for you to be here".

As Elizabeth held Nathan, and as Nathan cried long held in tears, neither of them knew that Faith Carter was listening anger building in her, knowing that she had no one to lean on.