Everybody and anything familiar belong to Janet. Sorry if there are more mistakes than usual, I'm a little rusty. Thanks to Redickave for giving me a specific day/event to focus on and also Knox0606 for the continued support.

"Come on, Steph," Tank said. "It's too cold for you to be out here for this long."

I'm putting him in an uncomfortable position, and I can hear the irritation in his voice, but I couldn't feel sorry for him. Truth is, I can't feel much of anything these days.

"I'm not ready to go home," I told him for about the tenth time. "If you have something to do, don't let me keep you. I can get a ride from someone later."

"Ranger won't like it if I have to pick you up and carry you all the way back to the Rangeman building, but I'm three seconds away from doing it."

Given Tank is the size of a building, it wasn't an idle threat … which pissed me off even more.

"Yeah, well I don't like Ranger being dead, but I have no control over that either."

I'm pretty sure the sound I'm hearing is his molars being ground into powder. "He's not dead."

"I'll believe that when I see him or hear from him. Until then … I have to keep myself busy or you'll really have a mess on your hands."

Ranger's typically unflappable second-in-command pinched the bridge of his nose like that would squash the headache I've become to him. I did start to feel bad then. This isn't his fault and I'm probably the reason he's not with Ranger right now wherever the hell Batman is. If leaving me was hard when we were just friends with sometimes benefits, Ranger wouldn't have gone back in the wind unless he was sure I'd have someone he trusts looking out for me.

Unfortunately, that unpleasant task fell on Tank's huge shoulders. And being a guy, he doesn't understand why I need to be doing something like this … because it's all I can do besides wait and worry.

"I know this is hard," he tried again, "but you knew who and what he was before you two got serious."

I nodded. That is true. "But he was Army Ranger here in front of me where I could talk to and protect him if he needed me. I didn't expect us to be going weeks without even a call or something. Even when he was wanted for murder and on the run, he let me know he was okay."

"He was in control of communications then," he explained. "Where we normally go, nothing is promised or provided. Calls home would be at the top of that do not get list."

I finally stepped back from the grave of PFC Milton Patrick Ortend. Like Ranger, he served in the Army but was only twenty-two years old when he was killed in action. The wreath I laid below his name and engraved image felt like a pathetic thank you for the life he lost and what his death must have put his family through if they felt anything like the nightmares I've been picturing day and night.

"Are you mad at me?" I asked Tank without looking at him. I'm already miserable, I might as well get everything out in the open. "If it weren't for me, you'd be there watching his back."

He surprised me by considering my question for a few beats, following that by answering it. "I never like being sidelined, but I'm doing my part here in the states to keep him alive."

Relief went toe-to-toe with my anger. "You know where he is? You've heard from him and didn't tell me?"

"I don't think God himself knows where Ranger is or what he's doing. I'm talkin' about you."

"Me?" I squeaked.

"Yes. You give him a reason to get his ass home in one piece. Before you, he was takin' too many risks, ones nobody else would've walked away from. Now he's motivated to get back to you. As long as I'm keeping you safe here, he has a goal for leaving there under his own steam as soon as he can."

In the hopes of conjuring up the man in black, before leaving the penthouse I had slipped on Ranger's sweatshirt and his uniform jacket. If the Boss chose these for the guys to wear during the winter months, I figured I'd be warm enough while distributing wreaths and praying for what's feeling more and more like a miracle. Aside from our size, complexion, and the scowl he's sporting ... Tank and I could be twins.

"And when he does get home," Tank continued, "he's gonna be pissed that you used your capture money to buy those wreaths. He gave you a company card to use for more than just flicking bugs out of your car."

I had done a little reconnaissance and came here a week ago so I'd have an idea of how many floral tributes I'd need to order in time for the 16th. The amount I paid the florist was not cheap but was definitely worth every dollar I shelled out. This is important to me, and I didn't want to hand out some artificial crap gesture. I went for fresh fir wreaths with real pinecones and berries to set off the custom bow made from weather-proof material with an American flag design which topped each one.

"I was doing this for me … and for these men and women. Ranger has nothing to do with it," I informed Tank.

"You sure about that?"

"I liked you better when you didn't talk."

"Yeah, those were the good 'ol days. Why are we really here?"

"I need to keep busy …"

"And?"

"I'm sure the cemeteries in warmer states are full of people wanting to help lay wreaths today with the rest of the country. But with this kind of weather, no one else would be out here honoring those here in Trenton. If I were in their shoes, so to speak, I'd want someone to remember me. And if I lost someone, I'd hope somebody would be here honoring my loved one."

"Why do you think I'm shadowing you?"

He's not exaggerating. I'd stepped out of the elevator into the Rangeman lobby and Tank appeared behind me by the time I'd reached the front door. I assume he was told I was on the move and took the stairs down while I was in the elevator, but it's just as possible he can beam himself wherever he needs to be and doesn't want to share that ability with me. Then I would be able to get to Ranger no matter where he is.

"You explained that," I answered. "Me being alive helps Ranger stay that way."

"You do make Ranger happy and also drive him fucking nuts ... which has been funny as hell. You're what he needs. And no one deserves to be happier. I hate talkin' about shit like this, but I've been pulling for you two."

"Really?"

"Yes. You're a pain in the ass, but you've kinda grown on me. I wouldn't freeze my nuts off for just anyone."

"Yeah, you would. But thank you for saying that. I think Ranger deserves someone way better than me, but I've never been able to keep any kind of distance between us. And I don't plan to ever again … outside of him leaving to save the day somewhere else."

Tank made a sound that would've scared the shit out of me if he'd been in a mood. "Good luck trying to put distance between you. He wouldn't allow it."

"I swear, I've only wanted what was best for him."

"What's best for him is to keep your shit together so he doesn't have to worry about you when he's not here to protect you himself. I get it, it sucks. But you can't love just one part of him. It's everything or nothing with guys like us."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What makes you think I love him?"

He lifted a giant shoulder in an abbreviated shrug. "Everything you've done in the last few weeks. Give it up, you're wandering around a cemetery during a polar vortex because you're terrified of losing him. You're either in love or batshit crazy."

I tried to straighten out the worry lines on my face, so he'd stop being able to read me. "It's probably a lot of both."

"That was my assessment too. But this was a nice thing to do. People say they care about us and our service but then don't bother to show it."

"I guess it finally hit me that what I'm feeling isn't unique to me or my situation."

I turned my head and scanned the snow-covered cemetery. Only the gravestones bore witness to our mission here today. I know across the country volunteers are participating in the Wreaths Across America ceremonial event, but honoring our local heroes with Tank, and with Ranger on both of our minds, felt personal, a special moment we'll always have between us.

"These families went through what I hope I never have to," I finished, not sure how else to explain the need I had to risk hypothermia to celebrate people who may not have any visitors today.

"So … we can haul ass and get the rest of these wreaths laid out and then grab coffee as hot as we can find it on the way back to the building?"

"That works for me. You really are a great boyfriend's BFF."

"You won't think so if I shoot you for calling me that."

Tank's bark is just as bad as his bite, but I didn't take his threat seriously this time. I just hefted up another scented circle and started walking again. At each grave I said a silent "Thank you" and made a promise to be the kind of person who is worthy of the ultimate sacrifice they had to pay. I also vowed to come back not just on December sixteenth when everyone else would be honoring our brave men and women this way, but I'll be here every week as long as Ranger returns to me somewhere other than a cemetery.

Tank looped his arm through the remaining wreaths and followed me, saluting every Army, Marine, Navy, or Air Force member's grave I stopped at. At some point, I stopped feeling sorry for myself for missing Ranger so fucking much and felt proud and honored to be out here acknowledging the selfless service we tend to take for granted.

Sure, my ass is freezing, but the pain these people and their families had gone through, hell ... are still going through, is a billion times worse. As I placed the last wreath against SGT Raven Garcia's gravestone, I couldn't help lingering to study how much care her family had put into her final resting place before the frigid weather hit. There were flags representing the United States and the Marine Corps, a bouquet of fresh roses despite it being December which have now been frozen in time, and a candle I bet would set off an alarm if the battery keeping it lit was allowed to die.

In that moment, I made peace with my fears. If anything ever happened to Ranger, he would still live on in what I and Julie feel for him, what he's done for the people around him, and how he has always put his country's safety before his own comfort or happiness. By loving him, I will NEVER lose him.

Tank must've sensed I'd made a breakthrough, because he just put his hand on my shoulder and turned me towards his fleet vehicle without interrupting my thoughts. His cell rang at the same time mine did as he was about to back out of our parking spot.

I had a split second of panic until it occurred to me that if Ranger was hurt or worse, Tank would be the only one contacted and then he'd be left with the really scary job of breaking the news to me. I let out a breath at the realization that bad news wouldn't be phoned directly into me. It's probably just Grandma Mazur wanting me to save her from whatever pre-holiday thing my mother roped her into.

"Where are you?" Was the question that stopped my heart for the second time in under two minutes.

But that's exactly what I need to know too. "Where are you?" I asked Ranger.

"Standing in an empty apartment while, according to Vince, you're visiting a cemetery where no one you know is buried."

I blinked back tears of relief and felt my mouth forming a smile after weeks of forgetting how to. "The apartment isn't empty, Rex is there."

"The rat hasn't been the worst pet to have, but he's not the one I blew off a briefing to see."

"It's Ranger?" Tank asked me.

I nodded, guessing it was Vince who had called him to let Tank know the Boss is back in town. "He's on Seven keeping Rex company."

I had to force back another round of waterworks as this fully hit me. Ranger is home. He's okay. And he still wants me with him.

Batman didn't say anything for a few beats so he could do that 'check my vitals' thing he does over the phone. "I told you I was coming home to you, Babe."

I glanced at the gravestone in front of me. "Yeah, but I'm assuming the family of those here who've served and died thought the same thing. I've just started to see that nothing is guaranteed, not even Batman's invincibility."

"This is what I do, Steph. And I'm good at it."

"I know. Believe me I'm so friggin' thankful for that right now. I feel like I need to apologize for every scare I've given you, since I'm not that good at what I do." I glanced at where Tank was sitting while trying not to listen to our conversation and lowered my voice. "I haven't said it enough … if at all, but I love you. So much so that it scared me up until about five minutes ago."

I could feel his smile through the line. "I'll let you check me over at length as soon as you get back, so you'll know that I am alright."

"I know you're kidding, but I am gonna take you up on that. Tank's pulling out of the parking lot now. I'll be home in a matter of minutes. DO NOT leave Seven."

"Don't worry, I don't intend to. I'll be right here waiting on you … just like you've had to wait for me."