I stood on the doorstep suddenly out of breath. Chest was so heavy. I sunk to my knees and put my hands in my face. The anxiety was overwhelming I felt physical pain in my throat and stomach like someone was stabbing me. Hyperventilating through my tears. I held my mouth as I got nauseous. I cried as silently as I could but I guess I wasn't quiet enough.

"Elena?" Damon said in a panic as he opened the front door.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. " I cried.

He rushed to my side. "No you're not."

Damon quickly got up and ran inside then came back with a glass of water. He practically forced me to drink it. Then he sat down next to me and held my hand. We weren't dating but I knew he didn't know what else to do. It felt right and it made me feel guilty. I let go of his hand and he looked to me.

"I'm so sorry." My voice breaks.

"It's going to be okay. I'm not going anywhere." He cupped my face and wiped my tears away.

We sat there and he held me close until I stopped crying. It was such a long lasting anxiety attack and it freaked me out. I was kind of embarrassed of him; someone so effortlessly cool and confident watching me be such a mess. I can't even control my own emotions.

"Thank you for helping me calm down" I said after awhile.

"You don't need to thank me. Do you want to talk about it?"

I stood up and he followed me into his backyard and we sat on the bench. We kept distracting ourselves.

"I don't know what to do. I don't know how to act around you. It's too hard." I explained franticly.

"Yes you do." He softened his face.

"No." I shook my head.

"Elena, It's me we've been best friends for awhile now and we know each other so well."

"I know but-"

"There isn't anyone I trust more than you." Damon looked into my eyes.

"I'm so confused on what to do." I was lost.

"Break up with Stefan. That's what you need to do and then things can go back to normal and you'll feel better."

"I don't want things to go back to normal. That's why it all fell apart. It got this way because you hurt me." I cried.

"Elena I don't know what else I can do to show you how sorry I am but I love you and I don't want to watch you get hurt like this."

"There is nothing you can do but I can't be your friend it's too hard." I looked away.

"You want to be more?" Damon asked me.

"I wanted to."

"What if that's what I want as well?" He said.

"Damon when we were just best friends the whole time I was in love with you." I said fearlessly. "All I wanted to do was tell you that for months. I would've done anything to hear you tell me the same thing back but now it's too late."

"Elena I was so scared of opening up to you."

"Then how can you call me the person you trust most in this world if you were to scared to open up to me?"

"I never wanted anything to get in the way of our friendship."

"That's bullshit." I folded my arms.

"I'm not ready to have this conversation with you." He stated.

"Why not?" I asked.

"Because I can't tell go there with you when you're still with him." Damon admitted.

"I can't just break up with him I think you know that." I was scared to do it.

"I'll make sure he never bothers you."

"Okay I think I should home."

I walked away and went home. It felt good to get that all off my chest but I don't know where we stand and it made me feel weird. I knew that I needed to leave Stefan before anyone gets hurt.

I walked to school the next morning. It was pretty cold but I needed the fresh air. I had to think about what I was about to do. I've been so scared of breaking up with Stefan that I stopped trying to imagine how life could be without being in a relationship. I knew that Damon was right. I needed to leave this man but I wasn't doing it for him. I needed to do this so I can move on from all the pain. I needed to heal before my anxiety changes the person I am. I got to school and opened my locker to find flowers. I smiled a bit but that faded when I saw the card said Stefan. I crumbled it up and tossed them in the trash can.

"What are you doing?" Stefan yelled from behind me.

"Are you following me?" I said with anger.

"You're my girlfriend it's not following you."

"We need to talk." I looked around at the people staring.

"About what you were doing with Damon yesterday?" He growled loudly.

"So you're not just following me. You're stalking me." I folded my arms.

"You're being crazy." He wasn't used to me defending myself to him.

"No I'm being honest. Something I should've done at the start."

"You don't want to talk to me like this."

"I don't want to do this with you anymore. I can't be with someone that treats me like this." I sighed in relief.

"You don't want to do this. Not here." Stefan knew he couldn't hurt me in front of the whole school.

"Is he bothering you?" Caroline said as she walked over to me.

"Shut up bitch." He yelled to her.

"Leave her alone." I glared.

"You're not serious about this. You love me."

"No I don't. I never did." I laughed with no humor.

"That's a lie."

"The only reason we got together was because I made myself think I wasn't enough for Damon. I wanted to be with him so bad that I let my guard down. You saw that I was hurting and you liked that. I feared loosing you, I feared being alone. I didn't love you I feared you and I have stayed because I fear what you'll do now that I'm done but I know that's what you wanted from me. You can't hurt me anymore Stefan because I'm already as hurt as I could ever be."

He looked around at the crowd formed in the hallways. "She's lying."

"You're not fooling anyone here." Caroline said smiling.

"Come on Elena tell them you're not being serious." He begged.

"I won't let you get away with this. What you've done. Everyone's going to know the truth. You can go now." I slammed my locker closed and walked away.

It felt so good to say.

Caroline followed closely. "You're a fucking badass." She was so excited.

"Thanks for being such a good friend." I stopped walking and I hugged her.

"Are you going to be safe?" She asked me.

"I don't know but I'm not going to live in the fear he created for me. The anxiety that came from being with him was like a fucking prison cell. It's no better than being in fear of him getting revenge on me. I'll get a restraining order if I have to and then I'm moving on with my life." I nodded.

"That's so great to hear. I'll be there if you need anything." Caroline smiled.

"I know." I smiled too.

"Let's have a girls night this weekend. I'll bring Matt and he can be our bodyguard."

"Yes I like that." I laughed at her.

She walked me to class and we got through the day with no trouble. The pain was still there and so was the fear but I felt so much relief that I knew I could finally get a good night sleep. I even ate lunch today. It was only half a salad but it was a start.