Disclaimer:

Mrs, J.K., SG1 Dudes, Sinyk, Me… it is crowded up here, Meh, you guys get all the credit and money, fame… I'll keep my good looks, yeah on a picture from thirty-five years ago... My life sucks.

Previous:

I stretched out and asked: "How do you feel? Those Medical beds are amazing isn't it?"

Sirius nodded: "I never felt better. My magic feels purer too."

I grinned: "I am going to mess with Dumbledore, he is obsessed with the Deadly Hallows, and thinks he needs a visit of the Master of Death."

Luna came to the bridge and heard the last words: "Dumbledore needs a visit from him alright."

30 Girl trouble.

I nodded: "Long overdue I might say. But first, what happened here after I was blasted through the Astra Porta?"

Sirius started: "I got cleared from all charges, Madam Bones swore if Dumbledore told her about me, she would have me freed in 94. Then I went to Gringotts and checked your life stone, it was still glowing, faintly, because you were too far away, I let Gringotts do a recall on Potter Artifacts and books, the Peverell ring came too, a Horcrux by the way, I took Regency of House Potter, and confirmed you as my heir."

He grinned: "Umbridge got life in prison, the escaped DE went through the Veil the others from the raid got life in Azkaban. Fudge made a run for it. Dumbledore tried to get his jobs back, but old Longbottom waxed his ears."

He got serious: "Voldemort got his death eaters out last Christmas, they took Umbridge along, while Dumbledore and his fools rushed to Azkaban, they kidnapped Trelawney from Hogwarts. Both Umbridge and Trelawney were found dead, severely tortured."

Sirius glanced at Luna, who nodded: "On Luna's urging, I went to Hermione's parents and got the complete story of Harry and Hermione at Hogwarts. Her parents forbade her to return to that death trap. I paid for their move to the US and arranged her enrollment at Ilvermorny. Luna foresaw that Weasley would put her under love potions to get him through Hogwarts."

Luna took over, "Neville is the new chosen one, Dumbledore is grooming him to be the next puppet. The two Weasleys are circling Neville now. A lot of graduates joined The Order. After Christmas, Dumbledore was forced to raise the war wards of Hogwarts, everyone with bad intentions towards the students, staff, or Hogwarts was ejected and put outside the gate. Three-quarters of Slytherin, a quarter of Ravenclaw, and some from the other Houses are expelled. Riddle is about to make Voldemort a Taboo again."

Sirius added: "I already told you about the Horcruxes, according to Luna there is only one left and Riddle himself. The ring is tainted, the Goblins removed the stone from the ring, Luna confirmed that the Stone was the sign of Peverell, I arranged to get it set in another ring, it is in the Peverell vault. Now, what about you?"

I smiled sadly, "That is quite a lot for seven months, first Hermione, you see, the last eight worlds I visited, Hermione has the memories of five of those previous worlds, they merged with hers and she has been with me for years. If there is a chance she traveled here with me, I am sorry Luna, but I can not abandon her if she is here… She was with me in three Worlds, and has the memories of two more."

I looked at Sirius, "We can find that out right now, how did Hermione react when she found out you bonded Dobby? Did she freak out and throw a tantrum about slavery or did she accept it?"

Sirius answered: "She was remarkably calm about it, now that I think it over, she repeatedly said: "He can't be dead, not after one day."

I sighed: "Sorry Luna, Hermione came along, she has to know and make a choice, that is not all though, Daphne Greengrass was once Soul bonded with You, Hermione, and Me. It is possible she came over too and merged with the local one. You and Daphne were with us two worlds ago too."

Luna took a deep breath… and sagged her shoulders, she said softly: "Terra showed me the memories, you have been through a lot and saved eight Worlds from a dark future. I am not sure if I want to share, I have to speak with them first."

I put my finger under her chin and lifted it, I said, "I have a solution for it if you want, Luna. I can make a clone and remove the memories from the time he fell through the veil, and put him back on Hadrian. A ship will be monitoring him and protect him. He can be yours alone. I will stay up here and he can be Lord Harry Potter."

Luna's eyes shined for a moment, then they dimmed, "That is not possible anymore, you changed too much already, you removed the Astra Portas and Goa'ulds from Earth and Abydos. The future is scrambled, they would not visit Hadrian for decades, Harry would slowly go mad. On the wizard side it would not be morally acceptable, knowing you can stop it now, would you postpone it for another two years? How many would die?"

I gave her a hug and softly asked: "What if I make a clone as I am now? Just for you alone. The galaxy is huge and I don't mind sharing it with another me. I can even move to another Galaxy and let your Harry deal with this one."

Sirius asked: "You would do that for Luna? What about Miss Greengrass? What if she wants one too?"

I shrugged: "Then she will have one, Sirius, think for a minute, we are not competing for a Lordship or some money, I can claim a thousand planets, and they would not mind because there are tens of thousands more available. I just have to get rid of the worms. This planet for instance is Luna Prime, see? I just named it, Terra, set it in the Logs."

"I will, Captain Potter," answered Terra.

I added: "Terra, install a new Medical bed with Lantean specks in this ship."

"It will be done, Captain, five hours until completion, twenty minutes if we use construction Nanites," she responded.

I shivered; "I have patience, Terra. Let us not open that can of worms. Set course to Earth."

Xxxxx

A few hours later we were in orbit above Massachusetts, it didn't take long to find her, once we got her alone, we beamed her up.

I grinned at her slack-jawed face: "Hello Winky, did you miss me?"

Hermione's face changed into an angry one: "Where have you been? I mourned you for seven bloody months and only now you are showing up with Sirius and Luna? And never mention Winky again! That never happened you hear!"

She turned to Sirius and Luna: "Hi Sirius, Luna, how long was he with you?"

Luna said, "Look around you, Hermione."

Hermione only now saw where she was, "A Spaceship? We are in a spaceship? Where did you get it from?"

I explained: "I was on Hadrian, a planet orbiting Sirius A, there I found a crashed ship, with a lot of luck and Reparo's I repaired it, and the AI of the ship accepted me as her new boss."

I shrugged, "This is not a regular Harry Potter world, Honey, this one has a history of fifty million years, it is a combination of two sides. One from the side of the Wizards, and one from the side of the Muggles. I know the story from the Muggle side and had to hurry for a month to arrange things in our favor."

Hermione saw Luna standing beside me and sighed: "With how many do I have to share you?"

I rolled my eyes, "Cut the drama, Honey, you are not fooling me, you enjoyed it as much as I did."

Sirius asked: "Is this a conversation that I need to hear?"

Luna shook her head, "No, Sirius, we better take you home and pick Daphne up."

I said: "Terra, put Sirius back home and beam Daphne up."

"Yes Captain," was her answer.

Two minutes later Sirius was back home and Daphne was standing in her night clothes in front of me

Luna said "We forgot about the time difference, it is after curfew at Hogwarts.

I conjured a bathrobe and slippers and gave them to her, "Sorry Miss Greengrass, we just wanted to have a word with you."

Hermione took me by the shoulders, turned me away, and said: "Stand aside, can we go somewhere else? We women need to talk."

I caved in, "Terra beam them in the Captain's lounge, and serve them some hot drinks."

Xxxxx

I passed the time in the Lantean Command chair going over the layout of Atlantis, searching where the ZPMs are and how to change them without getting an ocean barging in, the override codes to take control of the city were in here too. Best of all, a way to destroy the Replicators from the Asgard. Janos was one of the scientists who developed the Disrupter-ray that destroyed the Asuran robots… droids, lookalikes. With the help of Terra we made a start, I designed… I helped Terra design a ray that scrambled the connections between the nanites.

From there we extrapolated on how the Replicators would evolve when they fight the Asgard, and how the Asgard would defend themselves against that evolution, then what the Replicators turn... Do you see the loop? Therefore I added Magic in the mix, the problem is to get them all at once.

Why do you think those girls need to talk that long? In this chair my speed of thought is accelerated to my maximum capacity, what normally takes hours is now compressed to minutes, I bet I'll get a killer headache when we are done.

Daphne's presence gave me an idea of how to fight it, I presented the idea to Terra and let her work on it.

Terra took a few minutes to process and responded: "Permission to beam Miss Astoria up when the new Medical bed is done, Harry?"

I sighed: "We better talk with Daphne and her parents first, or we start a feud. How far are they along with their Girl talk?"

"Miss Luna called the Privacy Mode up, I can not reveal anything without their permission." was her answer.

That started all kinds of alerts in my head, that little seer is tapping into Alteran laws? Or Terra pointed it out to Luna… "Terra? Are you part of the Girl talk?"

"I am taking part in the bonding ritual called Girl Talk. All information is confidential," said Terra with a smug voice.

Whatever I will say or do will get me in the doghouse, so I took my time to sift through Janos' toys. Most of his stuff is halfway done, experiments that were banned by the council… projects he stopped himself because they would destroy the fabric of Space-Time… Man, with the stuff in here, I can trigger Armageddon ten times over! Judgment Day! All that is missing are little kids with Pigeon wings blowing on horns.

These were the weapons he developed against the Wraith, but would affect the Lanteans too. I marked them to be mothballed under the strongest security protocols.

Xxxxx

Finally! Girl Talk is over and the three girls stood in front of me, Hermione started: "First of all, we need to visit that Medical bed, then the chair to get your Magic knowledge, I can add my knowledge of Magic to it, I learned quite a bit in these seven months."

Terra commented: "I already did that, Miss Hermione, I will update Miss Luna and Captain Potter later."

"Terra, you can call me Harry when these three are around. Is the Med-Bed ready?" I asked.

"Yes, Harry. Miss Hermione needs four hours to remove Spell residue, Miss Daphne needs a day for a deep scan to examine the curse. I already explained the procedure and she gave permission for it." answered Terra.

I thought for a bit and said: "That will take too long, Terra, beam some of Daphne's clothes up, Daphne, once you are dressed properly, meet me in the Holo projector room."

Fully dressed, Daphne came in my Holodeck… I need to work on naming these things, the Alterans suck at it.

I explained: "Terra has the location of your home extracted from your mind, when she finds a suitable moment, she will project an image of you in front of them, and you can talk to them as if you are there yourself. Ask them for permission for me to beam both of you out of Hogwarts for a few days to solve your family matter. With a bit of luck, we can get rid of that family curse. Terra will guide you from here."

I turned to Hermione, "Come Winky, we go to bed."

Crap! That got me three stinging hexes! Hermione glared at me: "One more time and I transfigure you permanently into Dobby. It never happened, I told you!"

What the fuck happened when she was Winky? Was it that bad? Or… she wanted Lots of Babies herself? Was she in heat for Dobby? Should I ask? No, it would be a bitch to undo a permanent transfiguration, and Hermione can be mean if she wants to. The spells she learned from the Game Layer are hard to deal with.

Hermione is out for four hours, Daphne is busy talking to her folks, Luna is standing next to me and my Hormones are urging me to go for it. "Not Now, Harry. We need to do The Talk first." was Luna's comment before I could even move.

I whined: "I already know about the Eagle's and Lions, Luna! I know how Griffons are made, I even try to forget how Centaurs came to be. That was one sick fuck up."

Luna looked at me sideways and commented: "Are you sure Terra didn't damage your brain in that Med-Bed?"

Terra's voice answered: "It was already beyond repair, Miss Luna."

Everyone is a comedian these days, Daphne returned, she said: "My parents are getting dressed, Terra will beam them up in an hour. They are gathering everything they found about those curses."

Xxxxx

Daphne's parents beamed in, we were in the captain's lounge, after the mandatory greetings, I came to the point, "As Daphne must have explained and proved it to you, you are now on an advanced Space ship from our ancestors. I offered Daphne to examine her and her sister, to do that I need them both up here for a few days. If you agree you have to give me permission to beam them from Hogwarts for a few days."

Lord Greengrass needed a lot of explanations and demonstrations I had to make a vow that we would get rid of Voldemort before he gave his blessing. When we were about to beam him back he said: "He recently put the Taboo back on his name. There are already causalities."

I grinned evilly: "I just know what to do about that. He will lift that Taboo or refuse to act on it in a few days."

When they were gone, I waved at Luna and beamed to an open spot close to Godrick's Hallow, disguised as an adult Malfoy lookalike, I shouted: "Voldemort is a pussy!"

The first Death Eaters that popped in, were stunned, disarmed, and disrobed in less than a second, I repeated it over and over until I had a bunch of them, then I put Hermione's Pimple curse on them, Tom Riddle got his name pimpled on his servant's forehead, I better fix their raping habit too, a castration spell the farmers used on the bulls was just the thing to prevent a boner.

I released them with the words: "Tell Tom that his days are numbered." and apparated away.

Back on Terra, I smiled at Luna and asked: "How many will survive Tom's anger?"

Luna's eyes glazed a bit, when she returned her look she answered, "Not many, the Malfoy's are being questioned about their relatives."

"I'll beam you back in bed, at Hogwarts, do you think they missed you?" I asked.

"No, they did not miss me at all, I did this a lot on weekends, this weekend was like the others." was her answer.

When Hermione was done, I beamed her back with the promise to get her after she took a few days off for family issues.

Xxxxx

Now I have some preparations to do, I beamed the Stone out of the Peverell vault, don't worry, I will put it back after I am done with it, and searched for Dumbledore, ah there is the sleeping beauty! We did a quick scan of the dude and more importantly, the wand some more scans gave me everything I needed.

I bet Merlin or Morgana gave those Hallows to the Peverells, all three of them contain Naquadah, no wonder they are bloody powerful.

At breakfast in the Great Hall, I waited until most of them were present, and I projected myself to Dad's age, twelve feet tall with a big light show into the Great Hall. Did I mention that I am dressed in Black with small lights blinking on my robes, resembling the Galaxy? No? Then I did not mention my scythe in my left hand either, my cloak finished the look.

All doors slammed shut, and my voice boomed through the Hall: "What have you done to cause the Master of Death to return to this World? Who causes to rip the fabric of Space and Time? What happened to the Heir of Death?"

Slowly I turned to the Head table and looked them over one by one, finally, I faced Dumbledore. "Why did I have to remove your foul Magic from my cloak, little boy? Why do I sense foul Magic on my Wand? Defiler!"

I raised my hand and Terra beamed the Death stick in my raised hand, so Holo Harry showed it in the Hall.

"Nooo!" Cried Dumbledore, "That is my wand! I won it fair and square! Return it immediately!"

I chuckled: "Yours, little boy? You took it from your lover's body when he was sleeping after spending the night with you, I will have it purged to remove all the filth you did with it. Sit back down little shit."

I turned to the students and said: "I offer three days of study with me to the three most intelligent beings in this Hall. Come forwards to me to be judged."

A bunch of Ravenclaws rushed before me, Luna, and the Greengrasses joined them with some Puffs and Lions, a few Slytherins closed the line. Hmm? Dumbledore is here too? That is pathetic, he should know better, Terra scanned his mind, the dumbass was eager to open his mind for her. With a big light show, I beamed Luna and the Greengrass sisters up with a bright flash.

I looked at Neville and shook my head: "Little foolish puppet."

I turned to Dumbledore: "Did you think you deserve my teaching? Do you remember her?"

I projected an image of Arianne next to me, Terra scanned the body of Arianne in the graveyard last night and copied her genes to make a hard light image of the girl dressed in her funeral robes. Wordless, Arianne looked deeply at Dumbledore, shook her head, turned away, and disappeared upwards with a flash of bright light.

"I don't think so either, little shit." with these words I disappeared downwards with a dark Flash.

The medi-witch had to restart Dumbledore's heart when I went back down to Hell.

Xxxxx

Chuckling I came out of the Holodeck, Luna and the Greengrasses stared at me with wide eyes: "You are the Master of Death, Harry?" asked Luna.

I grinned: "I suppose I am now." while twirling my new wand, you know like the drummers of rock bands do, or those girls that walk before those marching bands with their short skirts. I know! I was bored when I learned that.

I got fucked, the second I said: "I am now.", those bloody things bound to me. With a big glowing dome covering me, it made a big light show.

Daphne dryly said: "It is pretty obvious that you are the Master, do you do that Light Dome every time someone asks you that?"

I groaned: "No, only on special occasions, hello, little Miss Greengrass welcome on Terra, follow me please."

In sickbay, two brand-new Medical Beds were ready. "Hop in, you won't feel a thing, I promise. Terra will be watching over you the whole time."

With the Greengrasses out of the way I spread my arms and asked: "What about a snog, my little moon?"

"We are not done talking, Harry, you still have to give me the Alteran science." pouted Luna.

I sighed, blueballed again. I put her in the Command chair and let Terra do her thing. I went to the Lantean chair, looked at Atlantis again, and studied different ways to recover her. I know I have to leave from Earth, that is the only address it will accept. I better activate the outpost on the South Pole.

"Terra, Make Terra 3 with a Lantean Medical Bed to beam that Ice Woman in. She has the Plague, so full isolation barriers, spread the cure on the ice in a twenty-mile radius first. Tell me when she is ready to wake up. After that, we will get the Astra Porta to the outpost."

I had fun watching Dumbledore and McGonagall explain to Lord and Lady Greengrass that their daughters were taken to Heaven by the Master of Death. Terra projected the event in front of the Greengrasses to keep them informed. I bet they enjoyed the show. I did when I saw them tear Dumbledore apart, they finished with:

Lady Greengrass icily asked: "Did you allow students under your care to volunteer to go with a totally strange being and did not even object when that being took MY CHILDREN away? For what? Three days of learning? What in Morgana's name can they learn in Heaven, you Fool! They hunted us for centuries! You gave them to our enemies!"

Lord Greengrass growled: "Expect a blood feud when my girls don't return or are in any way hurt, Dumbledore, for now, I am filing a complaint against you for aiding in a kidnapping of my daughters. And you, Minerva! You failed your students as a teacher and as the Deputy Headmistress of Hogwarts! Shame on you! We will take memories from the seventh-year students to show at the Wizengamot. Now get out of our house!"

When they were gone, Lady Greengrass laughed: "Having a good occlumency shield paid off, I would not keep a serious face otherwise. Contact Lord Black, my Love, Daphne said he was on the Spaceship too."

Xxxxx

Black and Greengrass went after Dumbledore with a vengeance, The DMLE stormed Hogwarts to take statements from the students above seventeen years old and take some Memories to study and as evidence.

That afternoon, the full Board of Governors and Aurors came to Hogwarts and fired Dumbledore, When Dumbledore lost his connection with the Wards, he got ejected out of the Gate, after all, he had evil plans for a lot of students. A blessing for him, the Aurors wanted to arrest his ass. That day, Dumbledore became a fugitive, but his hiding spot in Hogwarts is gone now.

The Morning trash screamed bloody murder.

Twelve gruesome murders!

Dear readers!

Twelve Purebloods from respectable families were found in an open field close to Godrick's Hallow murdered!

Dear Readers, a hiker, walking his dog spotted the bodies, all of the bodies had traces of torture! A common wound on the bodies was that the skin was cut away from their forehead in some kind of statement. No Dark Mark was raised, we suspect them to be victims of the recently installed Taboo of the Dark Lord. Brave men who were foolish to break the Taboo and paid for it dearly.

We think that the Dark Lord wanted to cut symbolically his name from their heads, hence the horrible sight.

We morn these brave but foolish men who stood up for what is right and paid dearly for it. Their families refused to make a statement, afraid of repercussions no doubt. We wish them strength in these hard times.

Your Reporter wants to stay anonymous this time.

The Taboo explained, more on page 3

The names of the brave victims, on page 4

What to do with forehead skin? On page 5

Were these brave men part of an organization? We speculate on page 3

Walking your dog is good for your health? More on page 4

What footwear is best for hiking? A specialist explains, more on page 5

Ticks, fleas, and lice, the bane of a healthy dog, more on page 6

Xxxxx

The next Headline:

Dumbledore aids in the kidnapping of students in Hogwarts!

Rear Readers!

Yesterday's murders were not the only crimes recorded by the DMLE!

At Hogwarts in the Great Hall, students and Staff were having breakfast to start the day, when suddenly a big projection appeared! The image was of James Potter, and pretended to be the Master of Death!

This was no doubt staged by a powerful wizard, Dumbledore, no doubt, to remove any blame he let that projection spout foul accusations even let it look like it stole his wand to complete the Hallows from the children's storybook.

Dear readers, we saw the memory of the event! The projection turned to the students and offered to teach them advanced Magic for three days, Dumbledore joined the line to prove it was safe, a lot of students offered themselves because of that!

It is suspicious that the three girls that were picked were opposing Dumbledore and the Dark Lord! That makes us wonder, is Dumbledore working for the Dark Lord? He is always advocating for light punishments, he forbids his followers to cast dangerous curses, only stunners, and Shields. We think he orders it to keep his Death Eater friends alive.

Dear Readers, at the end of that farce, Dumbledore shamelessly made himself have a heart attack, knowing that there is a competent healer close by.

Dumbledore proved his guilt by escaping his arrest!

We will keep you informed!

Your Reporter

Rita Skeeter

Projections, what and how it is done, more on page 6

Dumbledore, the Dark Lord's Dark Minion? More on page 7

Who dares to oppose two Dark Lords? More on page 8

Breakfast, the most important meal of the day, our Column Specialist Cooking and Brewing Mary gives recipes on pages 9 and 10

Xxxxx

Daphne and Astoria spent their second day in the Med-Beds, while Hermione took Luna's place in the Control chair for her Alteran science.

Terra scanned the books the Greengrasses provided and loaded the contents in my brain, the data from the Med-Beds combined with my Magic knowledge, provided a counter curse. Terra and I…, mostly Terra, broke it down to numbers with arithmancy and programmed the Med-Beds to remove the curse.

Daphne and Astoria came out of the Med-Beds, improved, they were pretty before, but you could see something changed.

"It was a success," I told them, "Your parents need to get the cure too, an hour in the Med-Bed, will not only cure them but give them a minor boost."

Hermione dragged Daphne to the Control Chair to get her science.

Astoria asked: "Do I have to marry you? Dad told everyone that if they can remove the family curse they can marry me."

Hermione caught that last sentence and yelled: "Not one word, Potter! Astoria, we will talk later! Luna, protect Astoria from Harry!"

Luna mumbled, "I am beginning to lean toward the clones, there isn't enough room on his bed for all of us."

Bloody girls! They are more trouble than it is worth.

But, if life gives you Lemons, hope you are in a Fan Fiction, it makes a big difference. I hope this is one, or I am Fucked… the wrong kind of Fuck.