Naruto accomplished the task she'd set out for herself with only a moderate amount of cursing, awkwardness, and cuts, all of which were healed up by the time she exited the shower wrapped in a towel and started her staring contest with the bottle of lotion. She'd never used any, although it seemed straightforward enough. But how much? She shrugged, upended the bottle, and filled her hand with the thick, soothing, fragrant liquid, learning quickly that she'd overdone it. The lotion was dripping down her legs to the floor, so with a little panicked noise, she kept rubbing it in, scooping it off her coated legs to rub on other parts of her body until the towel fell off and she was more or less fully glazed with a thin layer of tangerine smell and moisturization.

It felt weird, really, really weird, but as she appreciated the novelty of rubbing her smooth, silky legs together, and ran her hands over the soft skin of her stomach, arms, and breasts, she had to admit that it really did feel nice, and she understood why girls would engage in the activity. It made her feel pretty. Maybe even sexy? She wasn't sure, she'd never felt that way before, but there was something languid and pleasant and unfamiliar in touching herself that she thought might be just that.

Plus, it just felt good to be able to do the traditionally girly things Naruto knew the other girls would want her to do. Now the next time Tenten complained about missing a spot on her knee, she could say Tell me about it, and they could bond over a shared feminine experience. And Naruto would finally be one of the girls. She hadn't even known how badly she'd truly wanted that until she'd gotten a taste of it. So yeah, if it stopped taking so long as she got better at it, sure, she'd keep shaving her legs, and putting on lotion.

Getting dressed felt weird, as did smoothing deodorant onto bare skin, but she just combed out her wet hair and put it up into pigtails the best she could, concluding the experiment as she exited the bathroom and nearly ran straight into her sensei. "Oh!" she exclaimed, startled, looking up at his amused, downturned grey eye. "You're back already?"

"Didn't exactly want to loiter with a sex toy in my pocket," he explained shortly but with some humor, gesturing with the hand in his hoodie pocket.

"How did it go?"

"I took your advice." He ran his fingers through his hair, and smiled down at her. "Walked in and told the girl at the counter that I needed something realistic for an educational demonstration, she was very kind and helpful. She even had some advice about effective sex education. You were right, I shouldn't have been acting like it was shameful. It isn't."

Naruto's lips parted to ask if the girl at the store was pretty, something awful like jealousy twinging inside her at the idea of a pretty girl talking about sex with her sensei, and where the hell had that come from? Blinking rapidly as she tried to think of something else to say, what came out without any input from her brain was perhaps even worse. "Can I see it?" They stared at each other, both uncomfortable and unsure how to proceed with the conversation. "S-sorry, you're right, that was a weird thing to ask—"

"I mean," her sensei interrupted, looking perturbed. "Sort of, because we're alone, and out of context, that makes me a grown man showing a sex toy to a teenaged girl. But it's an educational tool, you're going to be seeing it anyway, and it might be easier on you to see it in advance if you're going to have to interact with it for the lesson…" He was seemingly convincing himself, pulling out a nondescript box as he did so and handing it to her. "So go ahead, I guess…?"

…

Kakashi was oddly fascinated, watching his girl open the box where they stood at the doorway to the bathroom. He could feel warm, humid air, and smell tangerines, and there was a sizable chunk of his brain that was fixated entirely on a fantasy that involved watching Naruto shave her legs and rub lotion into her smooth, tan skin as she reached into the box, rustled some tissue paper, and withdrew the dildo he'd purchased earlier that day.

It was fairly realistic, with an organic shape and texture, a defined head, even some veining, and it was close to the color of the girl's skin. Amusement and affection swelled up in him as she wrinkled her nose at it, rotating it in her hand while clutching it between her thumb and forefinger like it might bite her. "It's huge, sensei," she accused, disconcerted. "Why did you get a big one?"

Two things clicked into place simultaneously. The first was the knowledge that Naruto's abuser had been small, because this was an absolutely average size, a little under five inches long with unremarkable girth. The second was that he was going to scare the shit out of her if she ever saw him naked, considering the way she was eyeing the dildo as though it was monstrous. "Naruto," he corrected delicately, "I'm afraid that's quite average."

Blue eyes darted up to his, wide and shocked. "No way," she breathed, some combination of horror and humor twisting the corners of her mouth, a hysterical giggle leaking out. "Don't fuck with me, sensei, are you being serious?" He hesitated, but nodded, and she let out a long-suffering sigh, though she was still smiling that same pained smile. "Can't catch a break," she lamented, delicately replacing the object inside the box and returning it to him. "Being a woman really sucks."

In spite of himself, he snorted, immediately recognizing his mistake when her frustrated glare was turned on him. Returning the box to his pocket, he held up a palm of surrender, stepping towards his bedroom as he said with remarkable lack of intelligence, "I assure you, most women would be pleased by something in that range, and many would appreciate something larger." Then, blinking rapidly and unable to look the baffled girl in the eye, "I don't know why I said that."

"Is it true?"

"Well… yes."

They stared at each other in silence, Kakashi's gaze fixed somewhere over her shoulder, and after a tense moment, she frowned, shrugged, and said, "Well, it's good to be honest. And more power to them if they like being impaled, I guess, as long as I don't have to do it."

"You don't have to do anything," he heard himself tell her over the anxious buzzing in his ears, the repressed urge to fix things for her. "No one can make you. You're the master of your body."

Naruto's blue eyes were grim, and there was a dark, humorless upward tilt to her lips as she chided him, "C'mon, sensei, we both know that isn't true."

His stomach twisted and throat squeezed. "I'll train you," he swore, words pitched low and urgent. "I'll keep teaching you to fight until no one in their right mind would ever try to so much as look at you the wrong way. I promise."

Her smile turned genuine, her eyes brightening, filling up with trust and affection that was all for him. "Deal," she agreed easily.

…

The doorbell rang as Kakashi was finishing up getting redressed in his normal clothes, which had taken longer than usual because he kept getting distracted by the fact that his girl had washed and folded them. Naruto folded differently than he did, into smaller squares, and which items in his drawers had been touched by her were obvious because of that. He didn't open the relevant drawer just then, but she really had folded his underwear, something he'd never bothered to do, and every time he saw the neatly folded bundles of fabric, it brought a dumb, sappy smile to his face, made him feel cared for. It was psychotic, honestly, but it really did make him happy.

The ends of Naruto's pigtails were whipping around the corner at the end of the hall by the time he opened his bedroom door, her footsteps loud and quick, and vaguely, Kakashi wondered who his downstairs neighbor was, and if he'd start getting complaints if the little blonde kept up her habit of sprinting around the house. "Teme!" she exclaimed as the door opened, and it was starting to dawn on Kakashi that it was odd that he hadn't gotten any complaints already. "What're you doing here?"

His genin came into view just in time for him to see Sasuke give Naruto a wide-eyed once over before schooling his expression back to neutral as he sniped, "Sakura really dug her teeth in, huh? You look like a girl." He leaned in and inhaled. "Smell like one, too." Kakashi caught the boy's eye over her shoulder, and was gratified as he stiffened up under his glare, adding quickly, "But you look… nice."

Naruto shot a suspicious look back at him, and Kakashi wiped the glare from his face instantly, hands in his pockets with his usual impassive (as well as literal) mask on. "Thanks, teme, I'm not sure how I feel about it yet. Still might go back."

"You shouldn't." Sasuke cleared his throat and averted his eyes. "It looks nice, and it's more practical. There's strategy in presenting yourself as feminine, as well. People will underestimate you. You don't look anywhere near big enough for your chakra reserves." He smirked, cocking his head to the side. "Really, you look absolutely tiny. If I didn't know you, I'd think I could break you in half."

"Good analysis," Kakashi interrupted, keeping the irritation he felt about Sasuke evaluating his girl's appearance like that carefully in check. "I was also surprised by her size. How much do you weigh, Naruto?"

It was a rude question, asked purely out of curiosity, but Naruto didn't register its impoliteness at all. "Ninety-four pounds, last time I had a check up," she answered easily, and Sasuke gave her a considering look that rankled him. He probably had twenty five pounds or more on her, and Kakashi had nearly a hundred. He tried not to think too hard about that, about how easy it would be to manhandle her. "It's hard for me to put on weight because of my metabolism, but I'm still stronger than you, teme, so don't get any ideas." She stuck her tongue out; then, seemingly remembering her manners all at once, puffed out her cheeks, rolled up onto the balls of her feet, and asked politely, "Did you, uh, need something?"

Sasuke turned half away, the picture of disinterest, as though he hadn't come all the way here and rung the bell. It was cute, and it made Kakashi need to hide a smile. "Thought we could find Sakura, and continue developing our camaraderie, like sensei has been telling us to. Unless you don't want to train because it's your day off, dobe."

Naruto seemingly caught on instantly to what was happening, sparking a bit of pride in Kakashi. "Train, or hang out?" she asked astutely, prompting an eye roll from the boy.

"Same thing," he told her flippantly. "We're elevating our ability to work together, so it's training."

Kakashi and Sasuke were both surprised when the girl hugged him, laughing, and teased, "You can just say you want to hang out, teme, I'm not going to say no!" Then, releasing her flustered teammate and turning to Kakashi, "I was about to make lunch, though, will you be alright on your own?"

He smirked at her, pulling her towards him with a gentle grip on her still-damp pigtail, and she followed his lead gamely, seemingly undisturbed as he quickly set himself to evening out its crookedness. "Maa, I'm a grown man, I can feed myself." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sasuke's shock at how his sensei was behaving towards Naruto, but he was beginning to realize how much he really, really enjoyed being observed caring for her, like it legitimized his emotional connection to the girl if others could see it. He turned her to face him with a hand on her shoulder, checking that her pigtails were even. Satisfied, he turned her around and pushed, saying, "Shoo, have fun."

She offered her a smile over her shoulder that was so dazzling his breath caught and he smiled helplessly back. "Okay, sensei, but I'll make dinner, so wait up for me!" Then she was bouncing out the door, throwing her arm around Sasuke's shoulders and pulling him into a headlock as she ruffled his hair, seemingly having no idea whatsoever that she'd effectively shoved his sputtering, red face against her breasts, and Kakashi shut the door before he lost his mind and intervened.

There was an ugly part of him that had wanted to tell Naruto she couldn't go. And he didn't ever want to be that to her, never wanted to hold her back from experiencing life. Wouldn't stop her if another boy caught her attention. Anything else would be unfair. He'd compete, fair and square. Frankly, Kakashi thought he was something of a catch in comparison to the skinny, emotionally constipated teenaged Uchiha, so he wasn't overly worried about the competition, should it arise.

…

"You weren't kidding about sensei being different at home."

Naruto looked over at her companion, curious. They were walking together in the early afternoon sunshine, and she was enjoying the warmth, her face tilted towards the sky with her fingers laced together behind her head. Sasuke didn't look at her, and his face was expressionless as he waited for her to speak. "Yup," she agreed easily. "He's nice."

"Hn," he hummed. "Maybe too nice, don't you think?"

She frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"Just that… I don't know, dobe, does he touch you like that a lot?"

"Like what?"

"Like, moving you around, and grabbing your hair." His brow tightened, the change so subtle she was sure most people wouldn't notice it. "It feels a bit… proprietary."

Naruto rolled her eyes, unconcerned. "Dunno what that means, 'ske, but it doesn't bother me. I think he just likes having someone around that he doesn't have to be cold towards. I don't think he gets to touch people or be touched very much." She understood the pain of that viscerally, even if Kakashi's isolation was self imposed and hers had been imposed upon her. "I don't either, so maybe we just both need it."

The boy next to her snorted. "Leave it you to find the only other person in Konoha who's as touch-starved as you are." Then, in a move that made Naruto wonder if Sasuke was the one she should have been worried had been replaced, he offered his arm to her. "Latch on, then, I know you want to."

It was so deeply arrogant, to assume that Naruto wanted to touch him, wanted that physical contact, but she did, she really did. She craved touch always, even as it tended to invoke anxiety in her. And she trusted the teme, despite everything. So she linked their arms together, and ignored the flutter of feeling trapped. "You said touch-starved?" she repeated, testing the phrase out. "That's… descriptive. … Why are you being so nice, teme?"

That was her style, blunt as the back of a knife, but she knew her teammate was used to it, and predictably, he snorted, putting his hands in his pockets and inadvertently drawing her closer to his side. "Just had a wake up call," he explained shortly, refusing to look at her even as she bore holes in the side of his head. "I… don't want to be alone anymore."

A lightbulb went off in Naruto's head, and she laughed. "You're touch-starved, too!" she accused gleefully, and he scoffed, but didn't pull away, which was a clear confirmation. "Are you gonna be cuddlier with Sakura, too? She'd probably lose her mind if you were." Then, sensing she might get an answer if she pushed in that moment, "Do you like her? Think she's cute?" He didn't answer, but a bit of pink bloomed on his fine cheekbones, and Naruto tightened her grip on him, cooing. "You do, don't you? I was starting to think you liked boys, teme."

"I do. I like both." Dark eyes slid to hers, impassive. "Does that bother you?"

Naruto shook her head with so much vigor that one of her now nearly dry pigtails hit her across the face, a few hairs getting stuck to her lips. She pulled them away with her free hand, answering sincerely, "No, course not." Then, smirking and shaking him, "Unless you refuse to tell me who you like. Can I guess? It's not Neji, right? Nah, you guys are too similar. Is it Shikamaru?" The slightest increase in tension in the muscles of her companion's arm tipped her off that she'd guessed correctly, and she bounced with excitement, lowering her voice to a whisper near the boy's ear. "It's because he's so straightforward and easy to talk to, right? He never makes you feel like you've said the wrong thing? And he pretends he's not listening, but he remembers everything you tell him? I've had a little tiny crush on him for years, I totally get it."

"Shut up, dobe," was all Sasuke said. They were within sight of Sakura's door by then.

"And I know you like sensei," she continued as though he hadn't spoken, prompting him to choke and cough. "You were way too interested when Sakura asked about how he looked shirtless." Her instinct to tease her personal pain in the ass overtook her usual shyness over discussing bodies, and she added in a conspiratorial whisper, "It's really nice. He does have abs, and those—you know, those lines by his hips?"

"V-lines?" Sasuke choked out, face red in earnest, and she nodded.

"Yeah, those, and his back is really muscular, and his arms are just—they're huge, and you can see all the different muscles. It's all really pale, and long, and he looks incredible like that, especially with his hair down. Don't tell Sakura I told you, though, she'll tell everyone else."

"It sounds like you like sensei," he accused without heat, a weak denial, and Naruto laughed.

"I don't think I'm ready to really like anybody," she explained lightly, and let herself feel protected rather than humiliated by the way her friend inhaled through his nose and pulled her closer to him at the oblique reference to the baggage rattling around in her fucked up head. "But I do have eyes."

They were at Sakura's door, and Naruto knocked, loosening her hold on Sasuke, but the boy didn't seem inclined to break their contact. Her first instinct was that it clearly didn't matter if they weren't going to hide it, but her heart sank like a rock when her other teammate opened the door with a smile that disappeared instantly when her eyes fell on where their arms were linked. But Sasuke seemed to anticipate this, and offered her his other arm without missing a beat. "Come with us to the park?" he requested, polite and artificially cold, and a complicated series of expressions crossed the pink-haired girl's face before settling on pleased.

"Sure," she agreed, slipping on a pair of shoes near the door and calling over her shoulder, "Going to the park, mom, I'll be back for supper!" as she hesitantly linked arms with the boy Naruto knew she'd liked since they were kids, and they both allowed him to lead the way.

"Sasuke is touch-starved," Naruto supplied informatively, leaning forward to look across Sasuke to Sakura, who looked amused and confused in equal measures, face rather red.

"Shut up, dobe, so are you."

But Naruto ignored him, continuing to address Sakura in her usual blunt manner. "You know he's like a brother to me, and that I would rather die than go after a boy you really like, even if I did like him a lot, don't you?"

The acknowledgment of Sakura's crush was a little weird, even though everyone present was well aware of it, and both of Naruto's companions looked a little uncomfortable, but tolerant, and that was where Naruto tended to thrive. "Of course, Naruto," she answered after a moment, lips curving up. "I know friendship is more important to you than boys."

Naruto noticed them drawing eyes as they made their way through the village, but really, it wasn't at all unusual for Ino to hang on Chōji or Shikamaru, or for Neji or Lee to escort Tenten in public. Even Hinata could sometimes be seen under Kiba's arm, or leaned on Shino's shoulder. The only thing that was really weird is that their team broke tradition by having a token boy instead of a token girl. Well, that, and the fact that Sasuke hadn't let himself be seen touching a girl in a friendly way probably ever, but still, it was normal for genin teams to be physically affectionate to each other, and usually that affection was mediated by the girls.

"I have gossip," Naruto announced when they reached the park, the walk rather short since it was so close to Sakura's place. "It's good gossip."

They were sitting down under a tree, and Sasuke didn't react at all as Sakura sat so close to him that their knees touched. Naruto sat a little farther back, but still created the other edge of their triangle despite not touching her teammates. "Well, spill it, then," Sakura prompted, grinning. "We'll be the judge of whether or not it's good."

"No, it's really good," Naruto insisted, unable to fight off a matching grin. "All the jōnin sensei showed up at Kaka-sensei's apartment yesterday. Turns out, they have to give us a sex education lecture this weekend." Sakura flushed crimson but started laughing uproariously, and Sasuke's shoulders jerked in silent amusement. "They pulled straws to see who has to do it, and sensei lost! They're going to make him show us how to put condoms on a dildo."

That broke Sasuke, and Naruto heard him laugh out loud for the first time in months. "Gods, really? That's going to be a disaster. I can't wait."

Sakura was wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. "Oh, no, poor sensei," she giggled. "Poor us, sensei is going to talk to us about the birds and the bees? I'll never be able to make eye contact with him again."

"See, I had an idea about that," Naruto continued, setting her elbows on her knees and leaning in with a conspiratorial smirk on her lips. "There's going to be a Q and A, and I think we should brainstorm funny questions to ask. I think they'll have us write them down on paper and turn them in, so he won't be able to say Maa, I'm not answering this, Naruto, it's clearly not a serious question—" Her impression of the man, improved by extended daily contact, made them both snort. "—because what if Kiba really wants to know if it's safe to have sex with a watermelon?"

"This is brilliant," Sakura breathed, pulling a palm-sized notebook and a pencil out of her pocket. "What else should we ask?"

"I think we should ask if sperm are bigger than tadpoles," Naruto suggested instantly, causing Sasuke to choke. "And if so, can you keep them in a fish bowl?"

Clearing his throat, Sasuke added delicately, "Perhaps we could ask if his mask is to protect him from oral herpes," causing Naruto to throw her head back in a cackle.

"Oooh," Sakura hummed, writing the previous suggestions down fluently. "Let's ask him if it's normal to not be lactating by the time you start your period."

Sasuke suddenly snatched the writing materials away, and Sakura let him, leaning in curiously as he began to write. She started laughing immediately, nearly wheezing as she doubled over, and before Naruto could demand to read it, the boy was holding the page up to her, smirking. It said:

Is it normal to have sexual thoughts about your sensei?

"He'll hate that," Naruto nearly squealed. "They all will. All the sensei will be at the Q and A, by the way… Yes, yes, definitely doing that one. Asuma-sensei said Ino hits on him all the time."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Of course she does. Wait, we could design questions that sound like they're coming from specific people in the class! Like Lee, something like—something like, How does a young gentleman convince a youthful, beautiful maiden to engage in hand to genital contact? Or Shikamaru could be, Is it normal to think sex sounds like too much work?"

"You're so smart," Naruto praised her enthusiastically. "Why prank only sensei, when we could prank the entire class?"