Going home had been hard. Naruto wasn't sure if she could face Kakashi-sensei. Pakkun had been patient with her when she stopped outside the door, frozen, just sitting at her feet and watching her. Eventually, though, she'd managed to make herself go inside, relieved when she found the apartment empty. Her sensei's summons accompanied her into the bathroom when she went to go shower off all the dirt and grime from gardening, and she had no idea if that was weird or not, but she was too tired to care, especially as the dog curled up facing politely away from her on the rug near the bathtub. The glass was frosted, anyway, she told herself.

She was shaky, and kept doing things out of order, confused when her conditioner didn't lather because she'd been trying to use the shampoo, cutting her ankle when she forgot to soap up before shaving. Really, she didn't even know why she bothered to do so, except that the idea of sitting idle sounded awful, and it was at least something to focus on. The sight of the blood made her feel sick, though, and she gave up in favor of sitting on the floor of the shower for a while, trying not to think about her sensei cutting through muscle and tendon and bone and—

She retched dryly, and Pakkun whined, then said, "Come out, you'll feel better when you're warm and dry."

Naruto obeyed, and did a random assortment of after-shower maintenance, putting lotion on her legs and part of one of her arms before she gave up, smearing the rest onto her stomach, and brushing her teeth. She combed through half of her hair, then abandoned that endeavor as well, wrapping herself in a towel and grabbing a pad from the box she'd hidden in the back of the cabinet under the sink. She gathered her clothes into her arms, and went to dart across the hall to her room; she could hear the owner of the apartment in the kitchen, and wasn't in the mood to emotionally process him seeing her in a towel.

But the man left her alone, as she got dressed in some of her athletic shorts and an old oversized shirt, as she curled up in her bed and shut her eyes, feeling miserable. Pakkun stayed with her all the while, making himself comfortable against the backs of her knees, resting his heavy head on her thigh. She pet him absently, the way she knew he liked, grabbing his ear and massaging the part closest to his skull before stroking out to the tip.

"You aren't really a dog, though, right?" Naruto asked, the first words she'd spoken in a while, but Pakkun didn't seem to take an issue with her lacking conversational skills.

"I am a dog," he answered patiently. "But you're right, I'm not just a dog. I come from a land full of members of an intelligent race of dogs, like myself."

"That's where you go, when you aren't with sensei?"

"Yes."

"Is it nice there?"

"Beautiful."

"Then why do you leave? Why are you a summons for sensei?"

Those big brown eyes were intent on her own. "The kid's three times great grandfather lived among us for many years, and became a sage. He saved our village from a terrible threat, and we allied ourselves to the Hatake clan."

There were a lot of interesting things about that explanation, but one in particular caught her attention. "Kid? How old are you?"

"Fifty-three. I was originally his father's summons."

"Oh." Naruto chewed on that for a moment. She supposed that to Pakkun, Kakashi-sensei really was a kid. "What was his dad like?"

There was something wistful in Pakkun's words that made her redouble her efforts to pet him. "Loyal, generous, with a strong sense of what morality meant to him. He was a good man, and a good friend. We grew up together."

"And his mom?"

"Lovely woman. A civilian. You remind me of her, actually. She treated animals the way you do, like equals. Kakashi didn't know her, though."

"He didn't?"

"No, she died when he was only a few weeks old. Complications from the birth."

"That's awful." She hesitated. "Having no family is awful."

Pakkun stretched out his back paw, and yawned, butting his head against where her hand had fallen still. She resumed petting him, and he told her, quiet but straightforward, "I know you know that firsthand. We've been worried that Kakashi would never seek out family again, and our contracts would die with him. That's why we're so glad you've joined the pack."

Inexplicably, Naruto blushed. "I'm not part of your pack," she argued gently. "I'm just staying here because I don't have any other place to go. Sensei pretty much had to take me in."

The dog looked amused, if dogs could look amused. "You're pack," he reiterated, matter of fact. "Kakashi wouldn't feel so strongly about you if you weren't."

"Feel strongly?" She was feeling warm and rather squirmy.

"He loves you." This was said with equal factuality, even though it was patently false and ridiculous to boot. "We worry, though, because you're so young."

Naruto shook her head in denial. "No way. You're confused. I'm just a responsibility. Besides, you aren't supposed to be telling me his secrets, are you?"

"You're pack," Pakkun said again. "There are no secrets in the pack. He is coming this way, though, and yes, he will be upset if you say I said anything." He didn't ask her not to tell him, though, she noticed. There was a soft knock, and how much she didn't want to see her sensei welled up in her again. She hunched her shoulders, and was glad her back was to the door when Pakkun called out, "Come in."

Naruto didn't turn around as she heard the door open, though she withdrew her hand from Pakkun's ears, cradling it to her chest instead. "Naruto," her sensei rumbled, voice deep and rich like it always was when he said her name. She didn't answer him, and he sighed. There were some sounds she didn't bother trying to identify, and then his footsteps approached the bed. He said her name again, and when she ignored him, refusing even to open her eyes, he laid a cool hand across her hot forehead, then brushed some of her wet hair behind her ear. Then, with no preamble, he moved her arm out of the way of her stomach, pulled her shirt up a few inches, and pressed something warm to her abdomen, just below her belly button.

"Hey! What are you— Oh." The purpose of the strange, squishy object, seemingly full of hot water, became apparent as the heat sank in and began to relieve her cramps immediately.

"Hold it in place, and sit up." He said it in that voice he got sometimes, the one that was a little deeper and raspier than usual, the one reserved for giving orders he was sure she'd follow. And something about it made her want to do what he said, made her feel pleasantly shivery when she did as asked. It was strange, especially since as a general rule, she hated being told what to do. But she just obeyed, sitting up and scooting back until her back hit her headboard, keeping her eyes down and the warm compress in place.

Her sensei turned away, and she still didn't look at him as she asked softly, "How'd you know I was cramping?"

"Smelled that you were menstruating, and put two and two together with you being a little slower and pale this morning."

Her nose wrinkled up. "You can smell it?" she demanded, disgusted and horrified. "Was I not bathing well enough?"

The man laughed, and took her breath away by handing her instant ramen, prepared in her favorite oversized Ichiraku mug. "No, sweetheart." He still rarely called her that, but when he did, it always made her feel twisted up inside. "I can always smell it, on any woman. Hatake, you know. My sense of smell isn't as good as an Inuzuka's, but it's better than most."

"That's creepy," Naruto told her mug as she lifted some of the fragrant, steaming noodles with her chopsticks. It was her favorite flavor, the spicy chicken one.

Kakashi-sensei smoothed his hand over her wet hair, and she let him, even if she still couldn't bring herself to look at him as she took a bite. "Maa, sorry, I can't help it." He stepped away again, returning to offer her two of the little pink pills she recognized as the over-the-counter period pain reliever she preferred. She'd meant to pick some up, but had forgotten to do it on her day off. Something felt weird, but she put them on her tongue, and swallowed them with a mouthful of hot broth, ignoring the glass of water that had been offered.

It didn't hit her until the bar of chocolate was set next to her thigh on the bed. Just any kind of chocolate would have been fine, wouldn't have raised her eyebrows. But it was a very specific kind of chocolate. It was from Yua's Fine Chocolates and Candies, the only local chocolatier in Konoha, and it was the dark chocolate with matcha cream on the inside. Her favorite.

Ramen in her Ichiraku mug, two little pink pain pills, and a few bites of Yua's matcha chocolate had been her go-to when her period was particularly bad for years.

Naruto had never told anyone that.

She definitely hadn't told Kakashi-sensei that.

Her eyes darted from the bite she'd been about to take to her journal, undisturbed on her desk, exactly where she'd left it. No. There's no way. He wouldn't do that. So what if she'd mentioned on Tuesday that she had forgotten to buy the pills? They were popular, he probably grabbed them off the shelf at random. And so what if she knew there was an entry a few years back which claimed that this exact combination of things were the best remedy for period cramps? Everyone knew she liked ramen, and it's easier to eat out of a mug if you're in bed. The chocolate, though, she kept returning to the chocolate, eyes on her mug as she stuffed more noodles in her mouth, trying to think.

She should just ask, right?

"How'd you know that was my favorite chocolate?"

There was a second's pause, unreadable, and then her sensei said smoothly, "I didn't. I knew women like chocolate for this time of the month, and I've seen you choose matcha desserts whenever it's an option."

Naruto's shoulders relaxed. Okay, sure, that made sense. A lucky guess. That was more logical than her sensei reading her journal. That would have been crazy. She pushed at her lingering doubt, dismissing it for the time being. "Thank you, sensei," she said instead.

"You're welcome." The mattress dipped as he sat down across from her, one leg still on the ground, the other bent close to his chest. "Are you going to look at me?"

"No." She couldn't. She'd just imagine him cutting off some faceless man's fingers. Someone who'd never touched her, never hurt her...

There was a long sigh, followed by a soft, "Thank you for letting me do it. I can't tell you how much better I feel."

She snorted, swallowed her bite even as she raised her next one with her chopsticks. "It makes you feel better to hurt people?" she asked acidly, taking another mouthful of noodles, but his response took the wind out of her sails.

"I know I'm broken, Naruto. I know doing what I did shouldn't make me feel so pleased, or satisfied. But I am pleased. I needed to do it."

Cradling her mug closer, Naruto studiously avoided looking at the man in her bed, looking over at Pakkun instead, whose expression was unreadable from his place to her right. "Why?" Silence stretched for long enough that Naruto finished her noodles, and began taking little sips of broth instead, waiting for her sensei to gather his thoughts. It was hard. She liked to fill silences, but she knew he liked to let her, because it got him out of talking, and just then, she wanted him to talk.

It took a while, but eventually, Kakashi-sensei spoke, words careful and direct. "I felt like I failed to protect you. Hurting someone who profited off your pain makes me feel like I can be redeemed for that failure."

"I don't blame you for not knowing what was going on," she told the mug as she set it down balanced carefully in her lap, moving to open the chocolate. She broke off a corner and popped it into her mouth, her eyes falling shut at the flavor, the creamy texture. She could rarely justify the price of a full bar, and would usually stretch it for a few months when she got one—it had been a while since she'd had the cash to spare.

Her sensei sounded pained. "I blame myself, Naruto."

She scoffed. "That's stupid. Didn't you say I shouldn't blame myself for the attack, since I didn't know anything about it, and wasn't even really around?"

"That's not the same, Naruto, I—"

"Not exactly, but sensei, how were you supposed to know? What were you supposed to have done?" She shrugged, breaking off another tiny piece of chocolate. "The way I see it, the very first time someone hurt me after I became your student, you took me in. What more were you supposed to have done? It's not like you even knew who I was before that, or if you did, only as the village jinchūriki. I wasn't your problem." There was another long silence, and Naruto broke off a sizable chunk of the other corner, wordlessly offering it out to the man on her bed. She watched their hands meet, thinking about the fact he'd used his to hurt someone only a few hours ago, and still didn't look directly at him.

She wasn't expecting what he said, when he finally spoke, plaintive. "Why won't you call me Kakashi?"

"Why do you want me to?" left her lips before she'd even given it a second of thought, but she didn't try to walk it back, just folding the foil over the rest of her treat and setting it aside. As an afterthought, she held it up to Pakkun, raising an eyebrow at him, but the dog shook his head minutely, as though afraid of being kicked out of the conversation entirely if too much notice was taken of him. Naruto was pretty sure dogs weren't supposed to have chocolate, anyway.

Her sensei inhaled a little louder than usual, and answered almost shyly, "My friends call me that."

Finally, she looked up. He looked vulnerable, in that way she'd only half gotten used to, less intimidating in his sleeveless shirt than his usual uniform, his mask and hitai-ate both gone, his bad eye shut and his good one soft and expressive. There was pain there, and hope in the crooked half-smile on his lips, and she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that no one else alive had ever seen him like this. "We're… friends?"

"Maa, do you not think so?" He didn't look offended, like maybe he knew she'd need a second to process what he'd said. He just watched her. He did that a lot, really. "I know you're my student, and my subordinate, and that takes precedent when we're working or training, but here, during our off hours, on our free days… I think we're friends."

Naruto studied him, the casual set of his shoulders, his bare arm slung around his raised knee where he sat on her bed. His handsome, gentle face, and his watchful grey eye. The way he brushed his hair back from his forehead, the motion strangely intimate since he always wore his hitai-ate in public, and looked at her like she was the only person on the planet. "Okay," she heard herself sigh. "I guess we're friends, aren't we?"

Her sensei—Kakashi—offered her a remarkably charming grin, rakish and handsome. "And as your friend, you'll forgive me for wanting so badly to be your proxy?"

She tilted her head, like that would help her figure him out, put the pieces of his endless puzzle together, even as she felt herself smiling back. "Did it really make you feel better?"

"Much better," he answered instantly. "Like a new man." Then, hesitantly, "Does it not make you feel better? Knowing no one will ever let them near their kids, when they see his hand?"

Naruto hadn't thought about it like that. "Better is a strong word," she replied uneasily. "But yeah, I don't want anyone else to get hurt." She chewed on her lower lip, looking at him and the intense way he always looked back at her. "I forgive you, Kakashi."

The force of his smile caused his eye to fall shut, and it was a beautiful sight, the normally cold and closed-off Hatake Kakashi so content and pleased. "Maa, thank you, Naruto."

…

Kakashi shut Naruto's bedroom door behind himself, her empty mug in his hands, more than a little stunned, with the taste of chocolate on his tongue and her voice saying his name echoing in his tears. He'd made so many mistakes, too high on the endorphins from his revenge to monitor himself properly. He'd used things he'd learned from her diary recklessly, and there'd been a second that he was sure she'd figured him out, frozen with her eyes on her journal. But he's somehow talked his way out of it. She was too trusting.

But it had been worth it, to see her relax under his hands as he cared for her. To see that blissful look on her sweet face when she tasted her favorite chocolate. To hear her call him by his name, call him her friend. It was another step towards being hers. It was beginning to feel inevitable, that he would be, like all he had to do was wait.

Kakashi was a patient man. He was happy to wait for a girl like his. He'd wait for Naruto forever.