Characters belong to Marvel Comics and plot belongs to Trey Parker and Matt Stone.
The Spirit of Christmas: Disney vs. Rachel Zegler
New York City
It is wintertime in good old New York City. Snow was falling for the sky. It was a perfect time for Christmas trees, malls Santas, having parents push each other to get that special gift for their favorite child on Christmas, and, of course, carolers.
In front of the Roosevelt Field mall, four teens were singing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas'. They were Peter Parker, Gwen Stacy, Harry Osborn, and Liz Allan.
"We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas! We wish you a merry Christmas...!" The four teens sang.
"Hey! Wait a minute!" Peter cuts everyone off.
"What?" Harry asks.
"Isn't your mom Jewish, Harry?" Peter asks.
"Yeah, I think so," Harry confirmed.
"So that means you have to sing Christmas and Hanukah songs," Gwen pointed out.
"Dreidel dreidel dreidel, I made you out of clay! Dreidel dreidel dreidel-" Harry sings, which made Liz smile and giggle.
"That must suck that you have to celebrate Hanukah too," Liz taunted Harry, who turned to Liz.
"Don't oppress my mother, you bitch!" Harry shouted at Liz.
"Don't call me a bitch, rich asshole!" Liz shouted at Liz.
"Then don't belittle my mother's people you fucking slut!" Harry shouted at Liz, his voice getting louder.
"Goddamnit don't call me a slut, you fucking son of a bitch!" Liz shouts at Harry from the top of her voice. Then, a ghost had emerged from behind them. The four turned to see the ghost of Walt Disney.
"What the...?" Peter said in confusion.
"Hello children of this generation," The ghost of Walt Disney greeted.
"Oh my god, it's Walt Disney's ghost!" Peter exclaimed, realizing who they were talking to.
"What are you doing in New York, Mr. Disney?" Liz asked.
"I've come to execute a woman that has been giving my company a bad name," Disney explained, which had Peter gasp on what he thought he was talking about.
"I think he's come to kill you because of your paper on how Disney sucked this year," Peter told Gwen, who was now in fear.
"Oh god! I'm sorry Mr. Disney! Don't kill me, please! I didn't mean to say anything bad about your company!" Gwen apologized on behalf of her life.
"Fear not. Your paper justifies why I am here," Disney reassured Gwen.
"Really?" Gwen asked and Disney nodded, which had Gwen sigh in relief.
"It's been 100 years since my brother Roy and I founded this company, yet, it has lost its magic touch," Disney informed the four.
"Oh, you're talking about Kathleen Kennedy! Yeah, she sucks," Harry realized what Disney was talking about.
"You are close... but in order for you to truly understand, I must find the set of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," Disney told the four.
"Oh! You mean the live-action remake! We can take you there!" Gwen told Disney.
"They're just doing some reshoots because of some stupid rewrites we heard. Follow us!" Peter told Disney, who began following the teens, while accidentally stepping on Liz's right foot.
"Hey! Goddamnit you stepped on my foot you prick!" Liz cussed at Disney.
"Liz, don't call Disney a prick!" Gwen exclaimed to Liz, as she and Peter caught up to Harry and Disney.
"Oh, fuck you," Liz cussed underneath her breath as she began to catch up with them too.
The Set of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
The five finally reached their destination.
"Here we are, Mr. Disney. The set of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," Peter told Disney.
"Who are you looking for?" Gwen asks.
"Her," Disney points to his target, which was none other than Rachel Zegler, wearing a white dress like she wore in West Side Story.
"Well, we meet again, Disney," Rachel Zegler said, shooing her make-up artists away.
"You have shitted on the company's first film for the last time Rachel Zegler!" Disney told Rachel Zegler.
"I'm making your film more feminist than you what you've done throughout your whole career!" Rachel Zegler exclaimed.
"I understand some parts of the film haven't aged well, but that doesn't mean you remove the importance of the prince and treat Snow White like Silence of the Lambs!" Disney pointed out.
"The prince literally stalks her!" Rachel Zegler responded.
"It's time to have you keep your backlash out of your fucking mouth!" Disney proclaimed.
"Then let's finish this!" Rachel Zegler.
Peter, watching this confrontation, turns to Gwen, "Forgive my language, but this is pretty fucked up right here."
Then, the ghost of Walt Disney and Rachel Zegler began to fight. Rachel Zegler pins Disney, but the legendary Walt Disney grabs Rachel Zegler, spins her, and throws onto a table.
"Go, Disney!" Peter and Gwen rooted for Walt Disney, before Rachel Zegler took out her phone. Knowing what this probably meant they said, uncomfortably, "Uh, G-go Rachel Zegler!"
"Mahou no shi no kosen!" Disney exclaimed as he fired beams from his ghostly hands, which Rachel Zegler, dodged. The beams, in the end, just blew up a trailer.
"Morir hombre blanco!" Rachel Zegler cried, as she fired a energy ball as Walt Disney, but since he was a ghost, it went through him, and the blast hit Gwen instead, sending her flying to the asphalt.
"Oh my god! They killed Gwen!" Liz cried, but Gwen got up and brushed the dust off her. "Oh wait, never mind."
Disney and Rachel Zegler had each other pinned onto the ground.
Rachel Zegler turns to the teens, "Now! Help me put an end to him once and for all!"
"No, children. Help me, so I can put an end to her!" Disney exclaimed to the teens.
"I can use TikTok to cancel you fuckers! Be careful," Rachel Zegler threatened.
"Gwen, do you remember you also wanting to be Ariel when you grow and you crying over Jessie's backstory in Toy Story 2?" Disney asked Gwen, referring her some of Gwen's childhood memories.
"I'm hispanic!" Rachel Zegler pointed out as her excuse.
"I don't know what to do," Gwen told Peter.
"You don't?!" Harry asked, baffled on what Gwen had said.
"Who should we help?" Peter asked Gwen.
"I say we help Rachel Zegler," Liz suggested.
"Aw, you're just saying that because you don't want to be cancelled," Harry pointed out.
"Hey! I don't need to take that shit from a wealthy prick!" Liz shouted at Harry.
"You're such a slut, Liz, that when you walk down the street people go GOD DAMNIT that cheerleader's a REAL SLUT!" Harry shouted from his lungs.
"Oh yeah?!" Liz asked, as everyone started to argue with each other.
"Wait, wait, wait just a second," Peter stops everyone from arguing. "Now we've got to think here. Now let's see. What would Shawn from FilmAcademy360 do?"
"Yeah. What would Shawn from FilmAcademy360 do?" Gwen wondered, as a young African-American 25-year-old arrives on his skateboard.
"Alright. Which one of you kids called?" The 25-year-old asks.
"Shawn from FilmAcademy360!" Liz exclaimed.
"What incredible irony!" Harry exclaimed.
"Hey, it's Shawn from FilmAcademy360!" Liz exclaimed again.
"Now, what seems to be the problem?" Shawn from FilmAcademy360 asks.
"Okay, Shawn? Who would you help in a fight. Walt Disney or Rachel Zegler?" Peter asks.
"It really doesn't matter. About 76% time no one should fight each other. This is part of that said precent. What I think Rachel Zegler needs to do is understanding the legacy she is carrying on her shoulders and the pressuring she's facing. This was Disney's first movie, so of course she's going to the receive backlash for talking bad about the movie and not honoring the legacy," Shawn from FilmAcademy360 says to the four. "Well, that's it for me. I'm off to sue Kim Kardashian's fake ass."
Shawn from FilmAcademy360 then skates away on his skateboard.
The four turn back to see Disney and Rachel still fighting each other.
"Hey, Disney!" Peter called out and Disney and Rachel Zegler turn to the four teens. "You should know that Rachel Zegler probably doesn't know the legacy she's caring."
"Yeah. And Rachel Zegler, you need to know that you're not just talking bad just about Snow White, but Disney's history as a whole!" Gwen pointed out.
"You're right, kids," Disney then turns to Rachel Zegler. "I'm sorry, Rachel Zegler."
"No. It's me who should be sorry. I've been a Spanish bitch," Rachel Zegler said to Disney, as the two got up. "I'm sorry, Disney."
"Thank you, kids," Disney thanks the four teens.
"Yeah, thank you kids. How about we have a coffee and talk about what problems we have on the film," Rachel Zegler suggested.
"I would like that," Disney said, as the two walked off to find a coffee shop.
Peter sighs in relief, "Sure glad that's over."
"Yeah, but just think. We actually met, we actually spoke to the Walt Disney and Shawn from FilmAcademy360," Gwen said.
"Yeah. And you know, I think I learned something today," Peter told his friends and Liz. "It doesn't matter whatever your gender, race, sexuality, religion, or generation you were born in. Disney has one goal for everyone..."
"Yeah. For you to jerk off to Zac Efron," Liz commented.
"No not for jerking off to Zac Efron, you fucking slut!" Harry shouted at Liz.
"Fuck you!" Liz responded to Harry.
"Disney's goal has always been about one thing!" Peter cuts their banter off.
"Entertainment," Gwen finishes Peter's sentence.
"Ah," Harry realized.
"Don't you see, Harry?" Gwen asked.
"Yeah," Harry responds.
"Entertainment," Gwen softly said.
"Just to change to subject, if you're Jewish, you get presents for eight days," Harry told the group.
"Really?" Peter asked.
"I got to try that out!" Gwen exclaimed.
"Yeah, I'll be a Jew too," Liz said, as they left to Harry's house, singing the Dreidel song.
"Dreidel dreidel dreidel I made you out of clay! Dreidel dreidel dreidel With dreidel I will play!"
The End