He comes to gradually. Voices echoing around him. Arguing. Heated. Where is he?
Obi-Wan?
"…my mother trusted you! She trusted you with her son, and look what you've done to him!"
It was interspersed with protests from a woman, and the sound of a child crying.
"Let him go, Owen!" There is scuffling and then a gasping noise over the sound of the child's weeping.
Wait…a child. His child. Luke! His son is crying…why is he crying? It's so hard to remember…!
He struggles to open his eyes. They feel as if they've been drug down by lead weights. He is more exhausted than he can ever remember being. But his son. His son needs comforting. Why is nobody comforting him?!
"Dad?" A little boy's voice, wonderfully clear and close to his ear. His son! "I'm sorry, for what I said. I'm sorry! Please don't die!"
The woman's voice comes again, nearer this time but not addressing him:
"…'s alright, Luke…let's go…look better …morning."
No! Don't go! I'm here, son! I'm here!
With a groan, he exerts all his will to force open his eyes, the light from a nearby lantern burning his retinas, but, after a moment, his eyes fall shut.
He tries to speak, but his voice won't work beyond a faint rasp. "L-L…uke…" He slurs.
"Dad!?" The voice responds. His heart sings, and so does the Force.
"M-m-my…boy…" he gasps.
"I'll go with you if you want," the boy sniffles. "Just please don't die."
He tries to shush him, but the oxygen from the rebreather is still less than adequate. He feels as if he has just been running the wind-sprints he did as a child in the Jedi Temple.
"I'm taking him to bed, Anakin." It is only then that he recognizes Beru's voice as memories of the trip to the Lars homestead flood back to him. "You just rest, okay?"
He wants to protest. To beg her to have the boy stay. But, in truth, he knows he is being selfish. What could he possibly do but frighten the poor child? He hears footsteps leaving the room until all that is left is the sound of the whooshing rebreather and of Obi-Wan moving about the room.
There had been something…something important he had wanted to tell him…his brain feels so muddled…
"How do you feel, Anakin?" Obi-Wan's voice. Tender, kind. The brush of fatherly love across the bond that should not exist would leave him speechless were he not already breathless.
He places a hand to Anakin's burning forehead, and his heart sinks. He should not have asked the question. He knows the answer already.
He had been healing on Kalakar Six, but the overexertion of their confrontation and trip to Tattooine have been too much. He feels it, the failing lungs, too long deprived of sufficient oxygen, and the festering wound in his belly that now seeps yellow pus, the skin around it going necrotic.
Anakin is dying.
In desperation, Obi-Wan offers him the finger of water that Beru had provided, lifting the small glass to his lips. But even the mere act of swallowing seems to be too much exertion, and the old Jedi is forced to set the glass aside in despair.
Owen had wanted to strangle him in the wake of Anakin's seizure. It seems Beru had shared what he had told her about the origin of Vader's crippling injuries. In the shadow of Anakin's fit, Owen was understandably distressed. Even so, if not for her intervention, the old farmer might have beaten him to death on the spot. Ben cannot help but think that it would have been understandable, albeit, unjustified. Even if it has not exactly worked in Ben's favor, it is touching how much the Lars couple care for Anakin, despite their having so tenuous a connection.
He wonders, if he had known that Anakin had survived years earlier, would the Lars family have been willing to save him then, when more of the boy he had known remained?
There is no use to dwell on what could have been.
But even so.
He cannot help but think he has failed, yet again.
"I hope you know now that you are not alone, Anakin." Obi-Wan says quietly, sensing his consciousness in the Force, even if he lacks the strength to respond. "The Lars love you. I love you. Even if I shouldn't. And even if you could not see it, you have never been alone. I do not know what Palpatine told you, but please know that I would have rather died than hurt you. I have died every day since Mustafar. Every day, I think of you, and, every night I hear you screaming…If you hadn't forced me…If you hadn't…"
He trails off, unsure what else to say.
He is unsure if there is anything left to say.
I was unaware that 'love' and 'dismemberment' went side-by-side, Obi-Wan.
For the first time in eleven years, he tries to speak into their bond. He whispers along the tendril of connection formed when he was yet a child, half believing the dark humor will only be heard by his private thoughts.
A part of him rejoices when he feels the Jedi jolt beside him. So the old man has heard him!
Anakin?!
So you say… The response is darkly mirthful. But a part of him is beginning to appreciate the Jedi's insistence.
This should not be possible—!
Vader projects a feeling of soft amusement.
And yet, here we are.
He hears Obi-Wan snort beside him.
Indeed.
He draws a labored breath. It seems even mental exertion is tiring.
Is Luke alright? He asks carefully. He knows the boy must have seen something of his earlier fit and that such a sight must have been frightening for a small child.
He is with his Aunt, right now. I think you gave him quite a scare. He feels like your condition is his fault.
Vader manages an audible humming noise of displeasure. After a moment, he rests and lapses into silence. For the first time in a long time, the pull of sleep is tugging powerfully on his consciousness. And yet, part of him worries that if he sleeps, he might never wake up.
Obi-Wan… even his mental voice is growing weary. I am—he hesitates, unable to find better words until finally he settles on: Thank you.
In his daze, he wonders how he has tolerated the Emperor's violence all these many years. To know now that this—this human kindness—might have come freely from Obi-Wan's arms... He still resents the old man for what he had done to him, for leaving him enslaved to the prison of that black suit. But the hate he has long harbored has burnt down to an ember.
For the first time, he admits what he has long known in the quiet of his heart. That Obi-Wan had never meant to betray him.
It is with that thought that he remembers what it was he had been trying to say to Obi-Wan just before he had lost consciousness, it rushes back to him as his eyes fly open with sudden alarm.
"I-I…have to…go back." He speaks aloud on reflex. "The Emperor…he summoned me. I felt him…just before..."
He breaks down into a coughing fit, but even as he tries to master his breathing, he feels Obi-Wan's outrage. The ferocity stuns him, but it is heartwarming in a strange way.
We both know I may not survive this. But as long as I am here, dead or alive, the boy is in danger. Now that he has demanded my presence, if I do not go to him, he will come for me. And if he finds Luke…!
Vader shudders at the thought and cannot bring himself to finish it.
Something in Ben's gut twists as Anakin says he has been "summoned."
After a moment, he takes a breath. Drawing on the Light to calm and center himself. He understands the wisdom of what Anakin asks. But the scores of lightning scars on top of Anakin's mottled skin are unmistakable evidence of the true nature of his relationship with his Sith Master.
Even if the Emperor deigns to save him, if the 'care' he provides is as minimal as that which Vader must have received after Mustafar, Anakin will still die a slow and painful death; used up by his Master until he has burnt out.
Whether or not Anakin deserves such a punishing demise, that torment is something Obi-Wan Kenobi cannot simply allow without at least exhausting all other alternatives.
At least he has a little time to think it over, it is deep in the night, and the deserts are too dangerous to traverse before sunrise.
I understand, Anakin. But for now, you should rest. We can discuss this in the morning.
And with that, he places a hand upon his chest and presses a suggestion of 'sleep' into the younger man's veins. Without resistance, Anakin sinks into the mire of darkness, and his consciousness knows no more.
In desperation, Obi-Wan comms Bail Organa. It's dangerous and perhaps a bit foolish. But that seems to be his stock and trade nowadays. There is no answer. And so, instead, he leaves a coded message. He provides no details. Only that he has a medically-fragile defector willing to provide critical intelligence. Notably, he does not mention their identity. He has not spoken to Anakin of defection. In fact, he strongly doubts that Anakin has any ideological interest in defecting. However, to keep Luke safe…well…that might be a different story.
Though the Jedi sleeps in fitful intervals, the Force keens in warning, and he jolts awake when Anakin seizes twice more in the night. Both times, he comes to his aid, and, with greater presence of mind, calls upon the Force to hold him steady.
After the second time, Obi-Wan senses Luke peeping through the door-crack. He makes no mention of it, but his heart aches for the child. This is certainly not how any boy would want to meet their father.
Even so, eventually, he falls asleep next to the man who is the closest thing he'll ever have to a son.
Death looms like a shadow over Anakin's dreams.
He senses the flame of Obi-Wan's Force signature, blazing like a lighthouse in the night. When he wakes jerking like a madman beyond his control, he looks for that blaze of light, clings to it, knowing that should he turn away, he may just sail off into the dark.
While such a journey might mean release from his torment. It will take him far away from the child he has only just found. And some part of him—some part of him that still calls itself 'Anakin Skywalker'—will not yet brook such a defeat. When he comes fully to himself again, it is to light streaming through the low windows and to feel Obi-Wan's feeble attempt at Force healing thrumming through his abdomen, wrestling with the wrongness pervading his wretched body.
He can barely open his eyes, but he is awake, and that in and of itself is a small victory.
Obi-Wan's healing is not enough. It won't be enough. But the old Jedi is trying to buy him time, and he cannot help a flicker of gratitude. He does feel stronger. If not by much. Though it is a Sith heresy, he soaks up the intensity of Obi-Wan's energies flowing through him. He wants to be strong enough to say goodbye to his son. To tell him properly that he loves him. Has always loved him. Will always love him.
Sidious's bond remains a scratching tendril at the shields of his mind, but his Master has not yet begun searching for him in earnest. At least not yet.
Obi-Wan tells him Owen has gone to town for a doctor, but they both know it is pointless, the rudimentary care on Tattooine will do nothing for the voracious sepsis that has taken hold of him. Even so, the generosity of his step-brother touches him. Any doctor costs a small fortune on the desert planet. To waste their money on an almost-assuredly dead man is unthinkably kind.
Give Beru the spare credits in my armor. He whispers to Obi-Wan. And take me to your ship before he returns.
At the very least, he can ensure that Luke will be well provided for. Such monies will go further on Tattooine than they will on most planets. If he waits until Owen returns, his departure will almost assuredly be a fight.
He has changed the bandages once more and cleaned what dead flesh he can from the wound. When he had taken Reva into his home, she had been similarly injured, but her injuries had been borne by a young and healthy body, not the half-dead tissue that comprised what remained of his once proud frame. And she had possessed the good sense not to infect her injuries.
Ben knows it is futile to try to heal Anakin. He is not a trained healer. Nor is he strong enough. But perhaps, he can stave off the inevitable. The fact that he has lived through the night is itself a small miracle. And when he senses Anakin's awareness, his heart rejoices.
He wishes he could tell the boy who sits listening on the stairs just beyond the room, but he knows the child will only run when he hears him coming. Luke thinks he is being sneaky, but Obi-Wan smiles to himself as he feels the boy's pulsing curiosity and tentative hope gleaming like water in the desert.
Even so, Obi-Wan's joy at his patient's awakening sinks as Anakin uses their mental connection to reiterate his intention to return to Sidious's clutches. Obi-Wan ignores him for a moment, finishing what little healing he can provide
Bail has sent a cryptic reply to Obi-Wan's message: "Who?"
Who, indeed, was he offering up to the Viceroy? Was it truly Anakin Skywalker, as he kept calling him. Or Darth Vader? Ben supposed that this was as good a time as any to find out.
What if you did not have to return? He asks carefully. It feels strange to utilize the long unpracticed connection. Even so, he knows it is easier on the other's ailing body. I agree that your leaving is a sensible course of action, but what if there was somewhere else you could go, somewhere with security, protection, and first-rate physicians—
Get to the point, Obi-Wan! Anakin snaps. I am running out of breaths, as it is.
Obi-Wan sighs at Anakin's impatience, but at least he is listening.
The Rebel Alliance. Would you be willing to join them?
Obi-Wan flinches as he feels Vader balk internally. Outrage flaming hot and then fizzling as he begins to cough on the increase in his respiration.
I have sacrificed everything for my Empire. For order, for peace and justice. I would rather die than join those degenerate terrorists! He roars across their bond, twisting his coughing body away from Obi-Wan's placating touch.
For the first time in a long time, Obi-Wan feels righteous fury flow through him, launching him to his feet. Even after everything, he cannot believe the foolishness of his old student!
"How could you be so blind, Anakin! I am giving you a second chance. A chance to be with your children and to allow them to grow up in safety!" Obi-Wan barks aloud, rising to storm about the room in a pacing frenzy. "Do you call genocide peace? Do you call slavery justice? Those are the fruits of 'your' Emperor and 'your' Empire! And what of your Inquisitors, hmm? Would you have Luke and Leia twisted into them, as well?"
Obi-Wan's gaze hardens as he sees Vader's eyes fly open, flashing gold with the Darkside's stormy rage.
"Do not try anything, Darth." He snaps in warning before taking a calming breath. The two stare at one another, a battle of two unyielding wills.
"You would not survive it." He adds in a firm but quieter voice. "And even after all of your monumental stupidity, I still cannot bear to lose you."
Without another word, he turns and storms away. He should have known better than to waste his faith on a traitor and a Sith.
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