BABY BABY - OH, BABY

There was giddy excitement in the Hutchinson-Starsky universe these days.

Starsky was shaking his head.

"You have to," he admonished Hutch. "Just always HAVE to one-up me, doncha? It's in your mantra, your blood."

"It was the easiest challenge I ever had," replied Hutch proudly and smugly. "Becca's black satin tap panties stretched my capabilities to the breaking point. We're lucky we didn't have quintuplets."

"Aw, you would have loved quintuplets, Blondie. A Blue Plate Special of blintzes."

The guys were in the Striped Tomato's front seat. In the back seat were two brand new baby car seats. One was blue and one was pink. They were occupied.

Starsky was driving as carefully as he ever had in his life. Hutch was seated as recklessly as he ever had been in his life. On his knees backward, goo-goo eyed at the scene in the back.

Olivia Ava Hutchinson and David Conrad Hutchinson.

Ollie and Davey.

Olivia for Hutch's grandfather Olaf. Ava because Ava Gardner was Becca's mother's favorite actress. Becca shrugged. That's what her mother wanted. It could have been worse, far worse. Her mother could have adored Buster Keaton.

David was for you-know-who, who was proud as punch. Conrad was because, strangely enough, both Becca and Hutch liked the name.

Davey was soon to be known as DC. Nobody knew why.

"Twins," continued Starsky, with a shake of his curly head. "It's a conspiracy. 'Anything you can do I can do better.' Except there's one catch. No one is better than Kenneth Micah Starsky."

"Well, you're certainly not going to get an argument from me about that." Kenneth Micah Starsky was approaching two years old at Evel Kneivel speed. Hutch's godson, who up until this point had reigned alone as Adored One in the land of Starsky-Hutchinson.

Both men laughed simultaneously, remembering Kenny's first meeting with the twins earlier that day in the hospital parking lot.

"See the babies? Say hi to the babies," said his mom Sivan Starsky.

"HI," yelled Kenny enthusiastically. Then "Bye bye", with a wave to the babies as his mom strapped him into his car seat.

Hutch's wife Becca, the mother of the newly-minted Ollie and Davey, eased herself into the front seat of Sivvy's car. The plan was that the two young mothers were going to make an emergency pit stop at the local grocery store near the Hutchinson apartment. Becca, who had had no such inclinations during her pregnancy, had developed rather insistent food cravings AFTER the twins were born. She was proud as hell of her maternal accomplishment and planned on indulging herself royally with a few forbidden Ring Dings and Devil Dogs.

Hutch, who was fairly quick on the intake, intuited that this was no time to suggest a wheat germ smoothie.

In any case, Becca entrusted her two new treasures to Starsky and Hutch, with her own Hutchinson Finger pointed in Starsky's direction and a threat that if he didn't drive carefully she would personally dissect an important part of his body, without anaesthesia.

"She's very persuasive, ain't she?," shuddered Starsky.

"The thing is, Gordo, if you don't drive carefully I'm going to be holding you down when she does it."

Hutch's apartment offered him his own personal parking space. Starsky didn't need to bump into any curbs while easing into the spot.

Each man disconnected and swung a baby seat out of the car.

"We beat them home, even with me driving as slowly as a petrified 15 year old with a learning permit." Starsky oofed a little as he balanced Davey's seat in his hands.

Hutch gazed lovingly at the seat he was carrying as carefully as a peck of eggs. His daughter was asleep, but her lips were pursing fretfully and a tiny little hand was visible. Hutch touched it and a couple of her fingers instinctively curled around his. Hutch was a ball of goo.

Sivvy's car pulled up alongside the Tomato. She was able to find a spot very close to Hutch's assigned one. Both women hopped out, Sivvy understandably more perkily than the cautious Becca.

"We're loaded for bear," announced Becca, balancing a large grocery bag a little awkwardly. "Good thing I still have my maternity pants."

"And gloriously sexy garments they are," teased Hutch.

Becca admonished, "Gotta break it to you gently, stud. Sex isn't on the menu for a little while. That's the price you pay for fathering these munchkins. Nothing randy is gonna be happening, unless….the Randy's Donuts around the corner?"

"I'd advise us to buy stock in Randy's," Starsky advised Hutch. "I am. I could use a new Thunderbird when the Torino needs a rest."

Sivvy unstrapped and snapped Kenny out of his seat. He seemed very, very surprised to see the two other car seats.

Becca swallowed a giggle. "Poor Kenny. I think he thought that when he said "bye bye" at the hospital that it was a real farewell."

Sivvy hummed the theme song notes from 'Jaws'. "Ba BUM. Ba BUM."

Starsky laughed, "We may have to start a house fund for a shrink. Kenny has that Ricky Ricardo 'Looocy, you got some 'splainin' to do' look on his face."

"Oh, he'll get over it and get with the program," declared Sivvy. "I have high hopes for my son. Remember Rosey Dobey's reaction? She was looking at me and Kenny for a while like we were Bonnie and Clyde. Now she tolerates me and worships Kenny."

"We'll have to be careful, "said tender-hearted Hutch, "not to make my godson feel ignored."

"That ain't gonna happen." Starsky reached Davey's baby chair into Sivvy's hand and scooped his son up in his arms. "Kenny's just graduated up the hierarchy, is all. Aunt Baba's gonna give him a donut from Randy's, tell him it's a present from Ollie and Davey, and that'll be all she wrote. My son knows where his bread is buttered."

Everyone went into the house. Five sets of eyes zeroed in on the twins.

David Conrad and Olivia Ava had tiny wisps of fluffy blonde hair and blue eyes that rivalled their father's. "Baby blue eyes often darken," mourned Becca, "and so does blonde hair."

"I wouldn't mind if Ollie's hair turns reddish." Hutch gazed fondly at mother and daughter.

"But not Davey. Oh, please. Davy's hair just has to stay as blonde as yours, Hutch. His eyes just have to stay as sky blue." Becca was almost cross. "It would be a crime against nature otherwise."

"Another Hutch," moaned Starsky. "The world didn't learn its lesson with the first one."

"Hey," said Hutch. "I resemble that remark."

"I brought blue and pink ribbons along," said Sivvy, examining the hair situation on the twins' heads. "But I'm afraid they won't stay on. "Come here, my biggest baby," she gestured to Starsky, who obediently let his wife tie the two ribbons into his abundant curls.

Hutch shook his head. "Mushball Central. Mushball Central. Come in, Mushball."

Starsky wiggled his eyebrows at his buddy. "MY wife didn't just have a baby. Babies. If I let her do whatever she wants, I could get lucky tonight. Do you think I'm stupid?"

"I assume that's a rhetorical question, " retorted Hutch.

The end