I know that I am in love with Alan Davis but I know that my mom is right. I can't expose our relationship during initiation. It isn't going to make him nice . After the rank announced ， we have a day off and also today is the visiting day.
I don't really know who will come or anyone will come at all. I stand above the pit nervously . Kennedy is standing with her family from Candor . Elizabeth and Elisa are talking with their mom. Jack kang will not come because he is the leader of Candor and he will not be coming at all.
"Celeste." Someone is calling me
I see her . She is waving at me . My mom is coming to me again . I run toward her and she holds me into her arms . I miss her so much .
"Mom ， you come for me ." I am so happy that you come for me.
"Wa see you are filling up Celeste ." She brushes my hair away from my face
"Yeah I am very happy here." I giggle
I look up and Alan stands there with Sam . I am tensed now . He walks downstair toward me and mom.
"This is Alan Davis ." I point at him.
"He is quiet handsome." Mom smiles at me
I am blushing. My face is so hot. Alan Davis comes toward us
"Nice to meet you. I am Alan Davis ." He stretches out his hand to my mom.
"Nice to meet you too mr Davis ." Mom shakes his hand ."I have seen you sometime with max in school."
"Your daughter is doing well here ." He frowns
I don't think that he means it. He must be comforting her because she is my mom.
"I heard something about dauntless training and I was always worried about her ." Mom smiles widely.
"You shouldn't be ." Alan shakes his head
"That's good to hear ." Mom shrugs .
Alan scratches back of his neck. It is a sign that he is embarrassing.
"I think that we should go somewhere . We don't want to distract mr lieutenant." I drag mom away
We walk toward the tunnel which connected with cafeteria .
"You are still fighting with him?" Mom asks me
"I don't want to expose our relationship. I love him mom. I really do love him." I can't control my voice
"I know that you love him. You can start to show him that a little by little but don't let any other people to know ." Mom kisses my cheek."How are you really performed？how have you ranked?"
I am surprised that mom knows about it. I scoff a little
"Mom? How did you know that we are ranked?" I open my eyes wide
"It is not the top secret to know how a faction train their initiates . What is your rank Celeste?" She asks
"I am close to the button mom." I lower my head
She claps my shoulder . I look at her . She doesn't look disappointed .
"Good , the next session of training is when you have to be most be careful. Even Alan Davis can not protect you." Mom sighs .
"Is that because I am ……" I almost say the word out loud
"Shush Celeste , never say that name . I don't care what faction do you choose . I care about your safety." She looks around . "I have to go. Getting too attach with me doesn't look good on you."
I don't really care about other people's belief but I want to stay with my mom longer .
"I don't care mom." I grab her hand
"You should . Try a piece of chocolate cake for me . It is always my favourite ." She pulls herself free and waves at me . "I love you , no matter what."
She turns around and disappears at the corner . I hear footstep behind me .
"I know it's you." I turn around . "Are you eavesdropping?"
"I just heard what you guys are talking not on purpose ." Alan bites his own lips.
" my mom was right." I nod at him
Alan grabs my shoulder and pushes me against the wall.
"I heard you said that you love me . Celeste , why are you hiding from me ?" Alan brushes my cheek with his finger tips
"I am not hiding from you." I shout. "I just don't know what to do."
"You know what to do . We can hide until the initiation finishes okay? I respect you." Alan holds me into his arms
I want to say yes but I can't. I just stay there until everything is gone .
After dinner , I and Elizabeth decide to go get new dress . Elisa and our other friends are coming with us . Elizabeth is eating too much chocolate cake and Uriah is laughing with his brother Zeke .
"God you are going to choke yourself with the cake ." I pat her on her back to help her swallow the foods.
"I love the cake so much. It is really good ." Elizabeth's face is pure red .
Zeke and Uriah walk toward us . John leaves a space for Zeke . Zeke sits beside me and Uriah sits beside Kennedy.
William and Jason are nudging each other with something that we don't know
"Good job Celeste . At least, you are staying. Your haters are out." Zeke winks at me . "I still have two years before choosing."
"It's very soon. The time past very fast" I shrug. "I wish that I am still young."
"You are still young." Zeke wraps his arm around me . "You are only 16."
After dinner , we walk toward pit. A girl is now standing above us talking to Alan . She is wearing blue which means that she is from erudite .
"Who is she?" I ask
"She is Linda . The daughter of Jeanine Matthew ." William chuckles . "Look like someone is jealous."
"I am not ." I roll my eyes
I am jealous and I know it but I don't want to admit to it. We arrive at the store and I can see so many beautiful dress . I pick up a shoulder expose dress which is at knee length.
"Can I please try this?" I wave at Bud . "I also want to get a tattoo with this dress on."
"Sure , you can pick any picture You want. I am available for you the whole time ." He winks at me
"Thanks Bud ." I take the dress and get into the fitting room.
I change on the new dress . I am from abnegation but I don't feel shy.
"You are so pretty." Bud stands beside me . "It is perfect for you."
"Thanks Bud ." I slap his head
I walk around the photo booth. Bud is standing there preparing for the utensil. I point at a rose
"I want this rose on my cheek bone ." I point at my collar bone . "One on each side of my collar bone ."
"Nice choice ." Alan comes in behind me . "I will not allow any other man to see how sexy you are in that dress."
He wraps his hand around my waist and pulls me close
"I think that mr Davis that you have a girlfriend ." I tilt my head
"Are you jealous? Linda was talking business with me ." Alan giggles . "I am happy to hear that you are jealous."
"Shut it. I am not jealous" I try to push him away but doesn't budge
He holds me up and he looks at Bud .
"I will pay for the dress okay?" Alan walks out of the store
He puts me Into his office . He wraps me in his cloth.
"Celeste , I don't know what do you think about me . I love you. I believe that we love each other ." Alan sits down beside me
"I know Alan but I don't know . I don't know is that good for us or not." I shake my head . "I want the best out of you."
"I know Celeste . I don't want you be that selfless girl anymore . I rather that you become selfish." Alan sighs
I want to tell him that I am trying to accept our relationship . I want to love him and I already love him.
"Alan you are right. I love you but I can't love you now ." I stand up. "I don't know when can I accept that we are so different."
"That's enough for me already. You are the best one for me . The only best one for me ." Alan kisses my forehead .
I am enjoying this and I know it. I return to my dorm after we have done talking. I am much happier than before
"Good evening Celeste ." Linda says
"Good evening Linda ." I nod at her
"I know that you like him and he likes you. However I can tell you that I have same feeling for him too." Linda smirks . "He is better with me ."
I clinch my fist . I want to tell her that he is mine
"I don't think so." I say proudly. "He belongs to himself and you know that you are erudite and he is dauntless."
"My mom can make exception." Linda folds her arms . "You will not earn him."
"We can try." I say harshly. "I am sure that he is mine ."
I open the door and get in. I lay down on my bed . What did I tell Linda? Was I challenged her? I close my eyes and fall asleep. When I wake up at midnight , I can't fall asleep.
I get up and sneak out the room. I walk toward the fountain to get some water . I hear someone are talking.
"She really loves you Alan ." Linda says
"Don't ever talk to her . If you do , I promise that I will kill you." Alan is super angry with her
"I don't think that you can stop me . The second session is starting. We will see how long she can last." Linda laughs so loud . I am a little scared .