A Christmas Secret

A/N: This is a oneshot based on Season 9's Christmas episode.

Fact is, these last few days, I've been reminded of when I was ten years old.

Oh? What happened when you were ten?

Oh! You'd think it was silly.

Try me.

Well, that was the Christmas I decided to sneak down and explore under the tree the way kids'll do. I was dead sure my pop had saved up to buy me a train set. Oh, remember the tingle of anticipation? All those mysterious colorful packages? Well, later that morning, when I opened them up, it wasn't a train set. No, it was underwear and socks. Jess, I don't think you can understand how incredibly disappointing that is for a ten-year-old.

Oh! I think I do.

This year, with the world in the shape it's in, Christmas is a hollow promise. We should not be looking for toys anymore.

Jessica tossed and turned, the conversation she'd had with Seth playing on a loop. Finally, she kicked off the covers, grabbed her robe, and made her way to the kitchen. If she was going to be up, she might as well enjoy a cup of tea.

She filled the kettle with water and set it on the front burner. She adjusted the temperature; she didn't want it to boil hard. She didn't want the bother of waiting twenty minutes for her tea to cool. She opened the cupboard and selected a heavy mug. Seth liked these mugs. He always said they felt good in his hand.

Seth. She'd been thinking of him more often lately. More often, and differently. His Christmas story touched her deeply. She'd heard the rumors. Of course she had. Her old neighbor, Mrs. Allgood, had done her best to fill Jessica in completely on the good doctor's Dickensian childhood. Jessica wasn't proud of herself for listening, but then again, it was right after Frank died and she really wasn't herself then. Even accounting for the woman's embellishments, the story she'd told Jessica was dreadful. A childhood of deprivation and abuse at the hands of an alcoholic father. His mother had died when he was 12, Mrs. Allgood told her with relish. Tuberculosis, she confided maliciously, but I think it was a broken heart. Jessica retreated at that comment. There were very few people that Jessica couldn't find some humanity in, but Mrs. Allgood was one.

Once she'd gotten to know Seth herself, she wondered how much of that gossip had been true. He seldom spoke of his childhood, other than bland generalities. That made tonight's admission even more unusual. It touched Jessica's heart.

Seth was loyal, dependable, available when she needed him and content to fade into the background when she didn't. Her face flushed at the disposable way she'd treated him. He'd come to mean so much more to her, and she didn't quite know how to tell him. She was fairly certain he'd be receptive to the idea, but her careful nature wouldn't allow her to count anything as certain. She'd need to test her assertion.

The kettle whistled and startled her out of her reverie. Perhaps she could fulfill 10-year-old Seth's wish and, in the process, discover a little something about his current wishes.

Although she disliked favors, she didn't have the time to spare.

"Jessica! How delightful to hear from you!"

'I know this is a busy time for you, Vaughn, and I appreciate your taking my call."

"Nonsense, Jessica! What can I do for my favorite author?"

Jessica chuckled. "Flattery is very effective, Vaughn, but I should be flattering you. Not the other way around. I'm hoping you can help me find something and get it sent to me by Christmas Eve."

"Depends, Jess. Let's hear it. What do you need?"

"A train set."

"Aaahh, had one of those when I was a boy. Absolutely loved it. Is this for one of your great-nephews? Or great-nieces, for that matter."

"No," replied Jessica carefully. "It's for Seth."

"Dr. Hazlitt?"

"The very same. Recently, he shared with me that he'd wanted a train set as a boy, and well, you might think me foolish, but I'd like to try to give him one if I can."

"I don't think that's foolish at all, Jessica," said Vaughn quietly. "I'll see what I can do. You'll want it mailed to you, I expect?"

"Yes, please. And, I don't know the first thing about train sets—"

"Leave it to me, Jess. I'm sure I can find something and get it to you by the 24th, if not sooner."

"Thank you, Vaughn. You know I hate to ask favors, but this is for Seth."

"Of course. I'm happy to help. I'll call as soon as I hear something."

Smiling, Jessica placed the telephone in its cradle. She always looked forward to the Christmas season, but this year felt different. She hadn't let herself consider the possibility of deepening her relationship with Seth, but they were growing older. Not old, but older, and she thought perhaps the time had come to fish or cut bait, as Seth might put it.

Now all she needed was to enlist Beverly's help. But first, she'd wait for confirmation from Vaughn.

Cutting it a little too close for comfort, Vaughn finally contacted Jessica. He'd found the perfect train set and she should receive it by the 23rd at the latest.

"Are you sure, Vaughn?"

"I'm sure, Jess. Olga will have my hide if it's not there on time. Trust me."

"I don't mean to sound ungrateful—"

"You don't," interjected Vaughn smoothly. "I understand."

"Do you?" asked Jessica archly.

"I think I do," he replied. "I've known you for a fair few years now, Jess. I may not be quite as good a judge of character as you, but I'm not without discernment in that area."

Jessica laughed in spite of herself. "Certainly not! She sighed. "I'm grateful, Vaughn. Thank you."

"My pleasure. I think Seth will be delighted. Do let me know, won't you?"

"I will. Give my love to Olga."

"I will. If you and the good doctor don't have plans for New Year's, you're welcome to spend it with us."

"That's very kind, Vaughn. I'll let you know."

She depressed the switch, then dialed Seth's office number.

"Doctor Hazlitt's office. Beverly speaking."

"Beverly, it's Jessica, but don't let on it's me."

"Whyever not? Are you alright?"

"Of course! Is Seth around?"

"No, he's gone out for a bit. I expect he'll be back before 4. You want me to have you call him?"

"No, no. I need your help, Beverly."

"My help?"

"Yes. I have a surprise for Seth and I'll need to get it upstairs and set it up while he's out. I'll need a tree, too. Oh dear. This is getting complicated."

"Don't worry about the tree. If it's a tree you want, my cousin's son, Benny, can deliver one here for you. The only trouble'll be getting Doc out of the way, and any pesky patients." Before Jessica could respond, Beverly continued. "You let me worry about all that. I'll come up with something. What time were you thinking?"

"I was thinking around 4. Would that work?"

"Sounds alright to me. What are you setting up?"

"I'll tell you on the day. I don't want to jinx it."

"Sure thing, Jess. I'll see you then."

"Thank you, Beverly."

"Course! I'd do anything for the Doc. And so would you."

Beverly disconnected the line before Jessica could form a response.

"Beverly, it's Jess. Have you heard from Seth?"

"Not since last night. He left a message with the night operator telling me he wouldn't be in the office today. He's been at the hospital this whole time."

"Oh dear. Did he say how Wanda is doing?"

"Critical," reported Beverly, "but stable, for the moment. He won't leave till he's certain she'll make it."

"I'm feeling a little foolish now, thinking of Wanda and how she's suffering."

"Nonsense, Jessica. There will always be suffering in this world. All we can do is alleviate what we can of it. Whatever you have in mind to surprise the doc, I can almost guarantee you it will cheer him right up."

"Thank you, Beverly. I'll come by around 4, shall I?"

"Suits me. The tree'll be here by then. I took the liberty of bringing a few ornaments of mine. Figured Doc wouldn't have any, and I expect you two have already decorated your tree."

"You're right, Beverly. I hadn't thought of ornaments. Thank you."

"You're welcome! Do you need me to pick you up?"

"Could you?"

"Course! I'll come by after Benny delivers the tree. I can sorta keep watch for Doc."

"I appreciate this, Beverly. Thank you."

"It's no trouble, Jessica. I'm always happy to do a favor for you and Doc."

"There is no…I mean—"

"Maybe not yet," said Beverly serenely. "But I doubt it will be much longer before there will be. I'll see you this afternoon."

Jessica gazed at the handset in bemusement. She often thought Seth didn't give Beverly the credit she deserved.

Together, she and Beverly made quick work of decorating the tree and setting up the train set around the base of the tree. They stood back to admire their handiwork.

"I have to admit, Jessica, the train set is a nice gift. I think he'll love it."

"I hope so," said Jessica quietly.

"He'd appreciate anything from you, Jessica, but I think you know that." Jessica smiled, but said nothing. Beverly gave Jessica's arm a squeeze. "I believe I'll head on home. Do you want a ride?"

"I think I'll stay. Seth might be home soon."

Beverly lifted one shoulder in what she hoped was a supremely careless manner. "Suit yourself. Call me if you need a lift home."

Jessica turned to face the quirky little woman. "I will, Beverly. And thank you."

"Don't mention it," she said breezily and shrugged into her coat. "We'll talk soon. Merry Christmas, Jessica!"

"Merry Christmas, Beverly."

Jessica opened the curtains that faced the street. She wanted to surprise Seth, not scare him to death. She smiled at the thought of him coming home and finding her and the train. She picked up a book that Seth had cracked open on the arm of his reading chair, careful to keep his place marked. Six Armies in Normandy by John Keegan. She'd long suspected Seth had been stationed in Europe on D-Day. She sat down on the sofa and began to read.

As Seth turned into his street, he nearly wrecked as he looked up to see Christmas lights in his window. He had a good mind to call Beverly right now, despite the late hour, and give him a very large piece of his mind. "Of all the years to decide to decorate my private quarters," he grumbled. He pulled into the garage and took his medical bag into the office. He really ought to write up his notes about Wanda right now, but he was so tired. It could wait until he got a few hours shuteye.

He made sure everything was locked up downstairs, then made his way to his rooms above the office. Not for the first time, he wished someone was waiting for him upstairs. Jessica, you mean. Now that really would be a Christmas miracle. He sighed. He'd never been one for miracles. He opened the door and stopped, stock still.

Not only was there a Christmas tree with lights and ornaments, but there was a train set merrily going round and round the track at the base of the tree. Jessica lay on the sofa, snoring faintly, her mouth open. She looked lovely. "Jess?" he croaked.

She moved in her sleep, murmuring something he couldn't quite make out. He moved quietly to place his bag on the kitchen counter, then he walked to the sofa, kneeling down over the protest of his knees. "Jess?" he murmured, and he risked a hand to her hair, gently stroking it from her face. This was like something out of a dream. He had the curious urge to pinch himself. His D-Day book lay open across her chest. He stroked her arm and clasped her hand. "Jess, wake up. It's Seth."

She sighed and smiled, stretching. "Seth?" she asked groggily.

"I'm here."

She jerked up. "Oh, Seth! How are you? How's Wanda?"

"Wanda's going to be fine," he replied, while holding her firmly in place. "And I'm fine, too. Better than fine. Jess," he swallowed. "Did you do all this?"

She tucked her chin and smiled at him. "I did. How long have you been home? I wanted to see your face."

"It's…I don't…I can't…" his voice broke and he hid his face from her.

She scrambled to sit up, then she wrapped her arms around him. "Oh, Seth," she breathed. "Merry Christmas, darling."

Seth looked up quickly. "Darling?"

"If you'll have me."

Seth barked a laugh. "If I'll have you? Jess, that's all I've wanted. For so long."

Jessica cupped his face with a gentle hand. "I'm sorry it took me so long to figure this out."

Seth put his hand on top of hers. "Don't apologize, woman. I'm so grateful. I love you."

"I love you, Seth." She placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He moved to deepen the kiss, but their awkward position caused him to lose his balance. Jessica kept him from falling, barely, and they laughed together as she helped him to stand, then sit next to her on the sofa.

He put an arm around her and took her hand in his free one. "I can't feature it, Jess. It's almost too much. How did you get a train set? Where? I only told you that a few days ago!"

Jessica leaned over and kissed his cheek. "I asked Vaughn to find one for me. Did he do alright?" she teased.

"Alright? It's almost exactly like the one I imagined that Christmas. It's perfect." He squeezed her to him. "You're perfect."

"You think that now…"

"I'll think it forever. I can't believe you did this for me, Jess."

"Believe it, darling. I love you."

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of hearing you say that."

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying it."

"I'm sorry I woke you."

"I'm not! What time is it?"

Seth looked at his watch. "It's just gone midnight."

Jessica sighed. "Our first Christmas together." She curled into him, turning her face into his neck.

Seth loosed his hand to wipe a few tears from his face. Jessica sat up, a question in her eyes. "You've made an old man very happy."

"Not that old." She took his face in his hands and grinned wickedly.

"Jess, I—"

But whatever he'd planned to say was lost in the warm embrace of the woman he'd loved for so long.

A/N: I just wanted to contribute a small something to the wonderful MSW Christmas stories. Hope you're enjoying a happy, peaceful holiday season and that you get the train set of your dreams.