A/N: Trigger Warning: violence & SA warning. This follows main cannon storylines of the TV show, but Eleanor's presence alters it...so what happened to Claire at the end of Season 5 will still happen in this chapter, but not to Claire. But it is the catalyst of several other events to come...so I included it.

This chapter is a doozy, not an almost Christmastime chapter...BUT I know it has been forever since I updated, so I wanted to update Proceed gently.

Chapter 60:

"Mr. Fraser," William entered the study at Jamie's allowance, Sam trailing behind him.

"Hello lads," Jamie looked up from his ledger, a quill in his hand, his spectacles on his face. "Do ye need somethin?"

William shifted upon his feet, "Sir...I..." he paused, glancing at his step brother. "There is a..." he paused, quite sounding like Lord John, "rather sensitive matter that Sam and I wish to discuss with you."

"Ach, aye?" Jamie asked as he set aside his spectacles, to look upon his boys- one he claimed fully, the other though of his blood and his heart, couldn't claim outright.

"We can come back, Da, if tis not a good time," Sam said, earnestly, the anxiety written upon his 10 year old face, so unlike him. "Right, William?"

William put his hand on his step-brother's shoulder, "It will be alright, Sam. I think Mr. Fraser will understand."

"Yes, indeed," Jamie immediately stood, "Come and sit lads." He pointed to the sofa.

Jamie had the ability of a father, so in tune with his sons, to know when there was trouble brewing, though he couldn't think what it might be. And he had the ability to put aside whatever he was focusing on to give them his full attention. He had been so absent in some many years of his children's lives, he was determined to be able to be the father that his father was to him.

"May we?" William gestured to the door, causing Jamie to frown.

"Aye, of course," Jamie nodded and William went to shut the heavy study door.

Jamie sat across from the lads, leaning forward, resting a gentle hand upon Sam's knee, patting it affectionately, "Ye best just confess whatever is troublin ye so, lad. I will be fair with ye."

"He didn't do anything wrong," William said, quickly, "But he wanted my help, which is why we came to you together."

"Oh," Jamie raised an eyebrow, "Weel, that is verra gut of ye William to take the responsibility of helpin yer brother."

"It's not aboot me," Sam blurted out, "It's aboot mama."

Jamie stilled, "Your mother? Is that so?"

"Aye, and I dinnae even find it...Hope did, but she canna read yet, ye see...and I dinnae ken what to do and Mac is being Mac and I needed help and Ian is off hunting and William..." he looked at his step brother with great awe and affection, "I ken William would ken what to do. He always does."

Jamie let out a deep breath, "Weel, ye best start from the beginning, lad."

"I dinnae want Mama to be upset, but...Hope showed me it...and when she did, I canna unsee it...ye ken?"

Jamie titled his head. "I ken what ye mean, tis hard to unseen somethin once ye see it...but..." Jamie wracked his brain for what Samuel could be referring to. "See what exactly, Samuel?"

Sam looked to William, "I canna...Tis too awful."

William nodded, "Mother asked Hope to retrieve her ring on her dressing table. She doesn't like to cook with it...as you well know, sir..."

"Aye, aye," Jamie nodded, waving him to continue.

"And she couldna find it," Sam blurted out again, squirming in his seat, "so she looked in mama's drawer and..."

William pulled a stack of parchment out of his jacket pocket and handed it to Jamie, "We have a problem, Mr. Fraser. A rather large one indeed"

Jamie's eyes widened as he studied the sketches and primitive drawings, ones that very suggestively threatened Eleanor's person and disgraced her as a lady.

"Hope saw this?" Jamie asked, his frown deep.

"I don't think she understood what it was," Samuel said, "Just that it was bad. I came in right after and grabbed it from her before she could look too closely."

"Do you think the same people did this as the fence?" William pressed, "Perhaps, I should go for my father?"

Jamie folded up the parchment, "Not yet," he said.

"Did she not say anything about this matter to you, sir?" William asked, frowning. "I thought mother told you everything just as she does to father."

"Aye!" Sam exclaimed, perturbed, "Why wouldna mama tell you?" he asked, "Tis so awful to even think aboot! Isn't she afraid? What should we do, Da?"

Jamie paused for a few minutes, contemplating his next words, "Sometimes when ye care aboot someone, ye wish to protect them just as much as they wish to protect ye. Eleanor wouldna want to put me in the position of having to hunt down the culprit and bring justice on her behalf, especially if it is a tenant of the Ridge."

"Doesn't that break trust betwixt you?" William asked, curiously. "Even...in..." he paused, "friendship." He paused, "I don't mean to pry, sir. Or overstep."

"No, William. Ye are family, just as much as Samuel is. And I thank ye verra much fer coming with Samuel to apprise me of this." He glanced at Samuel, "Tis a verra complicated matter betwixt Eleanor and myself. But dinnae fash," Jamie stood, "I will take the matter in hand from here."

"Ye arena going to scold mama aboot it, are ye, Da?" Sam asked, "I dinnae wish fer her to get into trouble."

Jamie gave his son a small smirk, "I may be heid of this family, Samuel, but yer mama holds her own weel, as ye verra weel ken. Dinnae fash, all will be weel. Off ye go, mo bloblain."

Sam rose to take his leave, but then turned and threw his arms around Jamie, with considerable amount of force and affection. "Thank ye, Da."

"Of course," Jamie returned his hug. "I hope you know you can always come to me if you have a problem, Sam. I am here to listen and help," He leaned back and lifted his chin so he was forced to look at him, "Not just discipine and scold, aye?"

Samuel nodded.

"Now off ye go," Jamie gave him a small smile and Sam left but William hung back.

Jamie looked over to the now man still on the chair across from him. "Did ye need somethin else, William?"

William considered for a moment, "Did my father tell you about my new position?"

Jamie nodded, "Aye." A resigned look flashed in his features before he schooled them quickly. His son and he were destined to different sides of history and knowing that, it didn't sit right...for so many reasons.

"I do not feel entirely...at ease...keeping something so important from my mother."

"Ach, yes," Jamie nodded, "I do ken yer father wanted to be the one to tell yer mama with ye."

"But she wasn't ready to hear it...and now he is gone away. Papa says I have time to report, but...Mr. Fraser, I feel rather restless."

"Like it is time to do yer duty, lad?"

William nodded. "Yes. But I cannot...I will not leave, without telling my mother where I am going and why. But I feel like my father wished to delay this conversation because he knew how...painful it would be for Mama, who has borne so much in the past year."

Jamie leaned forward, "Yer mother loves ye, William. This willna change anything fer her. Will it be painful? Yes. She worries over ye so. But she is yer mama. If she dinnae care so, she wouldna worry so."

"All she has ever given me is love...when I needed it the most. I know it is not always so betwixt stepmothers and stepsons. And I am grateful. I do not wish to disappoint her. I do not ever wish to see that look upon her face."

"I dinnae think ye could disappoint Eleanor, William. If ye feel like ye need to tell her of yer plans, then, ye should...with or without Lord John."

"I do not feel right keeping it from her. Tis not honorable."

"Aye," Jamie nodded. "Then ye ken what ye must do." He paused, "But perhaps, allow me to deal with this," Jamie picked up the folded parchment, "first."

William nodded, "Yes. I must say, I do not envy you, Mr. Fraser."

Jamie smiled, "Aye, but I meant what I said to Samuel. All will be well. Fer this...and fer ye and Eleanor."

"I will take you at your word, sir." William rose to bow, "Mr. Fraser."

Jamie stood and bowed as well, "William."

He took his leave, leaving Jamie to ponder all that had occurred.

Eleanor was mixing dough together for bread in the kitchens, under the watchful eye of Mrs. Bug, when Jamie entered, clearing his throat to capture her attention. Mrs. Bug gave a small dip to Jamie and then left the room, excusing herself to check on the bairns.

Eleanor gave him a small smile, wiping her forehead with the backside of her hand, "Can I get you something to drink, Jamie? It is sweltering again."

"Ach, no. Not at the moment."

"You are drinking enough water, yes? Hydrating properly?" Eleanor asked, flipping the dough over. "Whisky doesn't count."

"Aye, I ken," Jamie raised an eyebrow, "Dinnae fash, I am takin care."

"Some one has to make sure of it," Eleanor said. "With Jenny at Auntie's, I...I worry about you."

He cleared his throat again as Lizzy walked in the kitchen. He glanced at her.

"I require an audience with my lady."

"An audience? That sounds quite foreboding," Eleanor frowned, biting her lip as she wiped her hands on her apron, Lizzy silently taking over for her with a glance between her and Jamie. "Which one of our children is in trouble now?"

"Tis not our children I wish to speak to you on. But tis a verra important matter. And I'd like to speak to ye now whist the wee uns are upstairs nappin."

"Very well," Eleanor wiped her forehead again, the sweat rolling off of it, "Are you well here to take over, Lizzy?"

"Aye," Lizzie nodded. "Lady John shouldna worrit aboot the meal. Mistress Bug was anxious to be rid of ye, truth be told, ye do cause quite the mess."

Jamie snorted slightly, causing Eleanor to shoot a glare at him.

"I mean no offense, Lady John," Lizzie said, quickly.

Eleanor put a arm around Lizzie, "No offense is taken. With Jenny gone, I know we are short handed, but you are right...I do create quite the mess." She slipped off her apron, "Very well, Mr. Fraser. Shall we?"

Jamie gestured to her to pass him, swinging through the kitchen and guiding her outside.

"What's this about?" Eleanor asked.

"Away from the house, Eleanor." Jamie's voice was even, but Eleanor picked up right away that he was perturbed.

"Wait," Eleanor turned her head. "You are angry at me."

"Aye, perhaps I am." He continued to walk ahead, but his pace briskened.

"But..." Eleanor struggled to keep up, "You didn't seemed at all perturbed in the kitchen."

"Ye and I verra weel ken if I did act perturbed, ye would have found an excuse to delay."

"So you lure me with false pretenses?" Eleanor asked, "Jamie, slow down."

"I am no false with ye, Eleanor. And in Lord John's stead, there are matters we must discuss." Jamie glanced back, "Further away from the house. By the river where it is cooler."

"It looks like rain," Eleanor frowned.

"It will hold of for a time," Jamie said. "I will not delay this."

"Okay, fine, but I am pregnant, and your legs are longer than mine...and I'm in a dress and corset, so I need you to adjust your place," Eleanor countered, "Please," she added.

"I apologize," Jamie said and slowed his pace, "I dinnae want anyone to overhear and ye seemed content on announcing to the whole of the Ridge we are aboot to have what I had hoped to be a private conversation."

"Wait," She paused in her tracks, "Am I in trouble, Da?"

Jamie cleared his throat, "Dinnae make light of it, Eleanor."

"Answer the question, Jamie."

"Aye, I think so," Jamie said, gently pushing her further, "By the river. Not here. I willna say another word to ye until I can ensure our privacy." He sighed as she nearly tripped over a tree root and Jamie had to lunge to catch her to prevent her from falling, "Take my arm, lass. Tis too overgrown here."

"I'm okay."

Jamie titled his head, "As ye said, ye are with child. And even if ye were not, I dinnae wish to see ye fall."

"Very well," Eleanor drawled, looping her hand into the crook of his arm, "But just so you know...I do have some natural grace...somewhere deep within me. I'm not all clumsy."

"Ach, I am very weel aware of yer graces, Lady John."

They were in silence for a few minutes as they made their way to the river.

"Jamie," Eleanor grunted as Jamie gently pushed her down to sit on a bench that Jamie had made for her, so they could watch the rushing river. It was a peaceful spot. Their spot. "Why did you bring me here?"

"I told ye. I must speak with ye."

"But..." Eleanor sighed. "This spot. It's special to us. You made it for me."

"Aye, I did. And my feelings are as true as the day I did even if I and ye canna act on them. Ye promised me, Eleanor..."

She shifted her hands in her lap, "We both made alot of promises. To which one are you referring?"

He sat next to her, "Confound it, Eleanor. Must ye make every bit of conflict so difficult? I am a grandsire and ye are..."

"Very much not," Eleanor shot back.

Jamie ignored her, "I have had to discipline members of the Ridge and ye put yerself under my authority..."

"as laird?"

"Weel, aye," Jamie retorted. "Dinnae ye? If I am no longer yer husband, ye are still under my authority. Dinnae we agree?"

"Of course, but..." she shifted.

"Aye?"

Eleanor looked perturbed, "First off, you know, I think you punishing members of the Ridge with physical force is..."

Jamie held up his hand, silencing her. "Ye willna tell me how to run the Ridge."

"Of course not. But it's..."

"Eleanor," Jamie growled.

"I think its..."

"Ellie!"

"Can I just have the last word?" Eleanor huffed.

"Would ye like me to build a jail and hold them there without no food or water...or give them a good thrashin and have it over? We canna survive as a community if there is crime and dissention. Ye ken that well. Actions have consequences, Lady John."

"I'm aware." Eleanor said, gloomily. "Barbaric century..."

Jamie stilled and then, turned her face towards his, holding her chin and not letting it go. "Is there something ye wish to say to me, Eleanor? Aboot what is happening in the community I built? Ye agreed to be honest with me...and honor what we have shared."

"Yes, I did," Eleanor's stomach flipped, "and I think that I have been abiding quite well under your..." she paused, "authority."

"Is that so?" He dropped his hand. He opened his jacket to pull out the parchments, "Do ye think?" he handed it to her, but she pushed it away, jumping up. "Oh God, Jamie! Where did you find those?"

"I dinnae find them. Yer daughter found them. And yer sons came to me concerned. And they werena snoopin. And they dinnae wish to come to me, but we have raised fine lads, Eleanor, who ken that yer safety is worth far more than yer wrath."

Eleanor's lip trembled. "I would not have scolded them for it. I'm not a monster."

"I never said ye are, but perhaps a bit illed tempered these days." Jamie looked her evenly, "Were ye going to tell me?"

Her eyes met his. "I could not bear to."

"Please tell me that ye have written to John and advised him of the threats against ye?"

She shook her head.

"Ye must ken that keepin notes of these nature to yerself...tis risky, Eleanor. Of all the fool-heided..." Jamie rose, "to see this and say nothin? What were ye thinkin?" He strode over to her, "Say something." He gave her a gentle shake. "Eleanor."

Still silence.

"Mo ghraidh," Jamie whispered, his voice low. "Ye must speak."

"I didn't wish for me to cause trouble for you on the ridge."

"Oh, lass," Jamie reached for her hands.

"More trouble than I already have caused. I do not believe the threats will materialize. Someone just wants to put me in my place. I did not wish give them the satisfaction of doing so."

"It's our family, Eleanor!" Jamie squeezed her hands. "Our family."

"It's against me, not our children...If it was our children..."

"Do not ye dare tell me that ye dinnae matter!" Jamie's voice carried his pain. "Ye are my family, Eleanor. And ye withheld the truth aboot this from me. When ye promised not to keep things from me, just as I promised the same to ye...regardless if we are wed or not, we must honor what tis between us...and ye dinnae when it mattered the most"

Eleanor's voice cracked, "Don't be angry."

"I'm not angry. Disappointed. I thought ye could trust me," He turned and then planted his feet, his resolve firm, "I am sending you to Aunt Jocasta's until I can determine what to do next."

"You cannot do that!" Eleanor said, her eyes wide. "What about the children?"

"They can go with you," Jamie said, steeling himself.

"And the fact that I am carrying another child that very well might be yours? You would really banish me."

"All the more reason to see you safe," Jamie said, his forehead creasing, "I willna have ye in danger in our home. And I dare say Lord John would agree with this."

"You cannot send me away, Jamie," Eleanor put her hand on her stomach, "Please. The babe hasn't quickened and I am...I'm so afraid. Every day. Every night. John left me here for a reason. He knew I need your steadiness in his absence."

"And I canna give it to ye at the moment," Jamie said, "I wish I could, Eleanor."

"I can't believe..." Eleanor covered her mouth. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Tis not aboot me, or even aboot ye honoring yer committment to John over ours. I must see to yer safety. And I canna abide until the threats against ye are resolved."

Eleanor bit her lip, "I'm safest when I am with you...building this family that you and John and I just resolved upon. We cannot uproot the children again. They need you and they need me." She paused, "And I need you, James. Please. I'm begging you. I'm so unsure right now...considering everything. John would have never left me with you if he thought..."

"He would agree with this," Jamie said, "Ye ken he would."

"Just let me stay until John comes home. Then you can discuss it with him. Please. For the sake of our past and our future..."

"Were ye thinkin on our past or on our future when ye hid this from me?" Jamie waved the parchment in front of her. "Do not ask me to do what ye yerself dinnae do."

Eleanor's tears flowed, "You are being so stubborn."

"Ach, maybe, I am, but truth be told, yer actions...have shown that I canna trust ye. Ye and I must come to a place where I can trust ye again fer ye to stay on at the Ridge, especially given the threats."

"That hurts, Jamie," Eleanor countered, "I was trying to protect you...and this legacy, you gave so very much up for."

"I dinnae ask ye to protect me."

"It's in my soul to want to Jamie...just as I do John. Just as you do for me." Eleanor's eyes pled with him, "Please." she wiped the tears.

"I am resolved, lass," Jamie crossed his arms. "Go home and pack. I will have Ian escort ye and the wee uns at dawn."

"You won't even accompany us?"

"Ian will be fine accompanying ye and the bairns. We will send William along as weel."

Eleanor's tears rolled down her face, "There are times, still...that I love you so much...I can scarcely breathe...but there are times I truly despise you...you stubborn, impossible man." She turned away from him. "I need my space."

"Aye, ye have it," Jamie said.

Eleanor fled, lost her thoughts...so lost in fact that she barely registered the shuffling behind her, before pain flooded her brain and her world became dark.

She walked down the stairs at Fraser's Ridge, her hand on the banister. Her dress was one shouldered, sapphire blue, matching perfectly with her ring, which sparkled against the dark wood of the banister. Her ruffled dress flowing behind her, swishing against the steps as she moved, adorned with a sparkly belt at her waist. Her hair was down, half up and half up cascading in curls down her back, a matching sparkly headband contrasting to the dark of her hair.

"Is he here yet?" she asked, as Jamie turned around from his stance at the fireplace.

"Ach, not yet."

Eleanor sighed, looking down at her phone which was in his other hand, "He's late. And he hasn't texted"

Jamie made a bit of snort, "Like ye are one to talk aboot being late."

"Now that's true," She looked up and then over at Jamie, who was staring at her. "What is it? You have the funniest look on your face."

His eyes were wide, "You look..." He paused and just grinned at her, unable to finish.

Eleanor smoothed down her hair, fiddling with her headband, "I look what? I wasn't sure if you would like the dress. I know it isn't want you are used to, but...I saw it...and it's like, it spoke to me."

"I might wish ye were a bit more covered up," Jamie said, "Showing off yer shoulder like that..."

"You are teasing me," Eleanor smiled at him, "I wanted you to like my dress."

"Aye, I do..." Jamie said, "I was just thinkin...ye look just as young as the day we marrit lass."

She giggled, "Now that isn't true. But I thank you all the same for the sweet words, James," She leaned over to kiss him, gently on the mouth.

He pulled back, "No, tis true. Tis like ye are frozen in time. Not a wrinkle or grey hair in sight."

"Frozen in time, huh?" She leaned forward again for a long, lingering, passionate kiss. "Mmm..." she moaned as Jamie's hand slipped down her side, caressing her. "Oh, Jamie..."

"Let me have a look at ye," Jamie held her by the hand and spun her around, "How much time before we must be at the church?"

"Not enough time to do what you have in your mind properly," Eleanor poked at him, "And I do love to be very thorough with you." She pulled away, turning from him to reach for her clutch.

Jamie made a guttural noise as he smacked at her behind, "Ah, that ye do. Now, can ye help yer poor husband out with this confounded contraption?" He gestured at his tie which was wrapped around his neck.

Eleanor took her phone out of her clutch, placing it on the console, before turning around, her look resigned, "I suppose if I must," she said, dramatically and Jamie winked at her.

"Although, we could use it fer somethin else, mo ghraidh," Jamie said, his eyes mischievous.

Eleanor laughed, outright, "No distractions," she smiled at him, "Come here, you. Let's see."

She began to work at tying his tie, "You love it when I am demanding. Admit it."

"I canna deny it," Jamie said, "Ye are fierce, Eleanor. A force."

"A force," Eleanor pulled up his tie knot. "There we are, Mr. Fraser. You are all ready. Looking sharp as usual. Speaking of frozen in time...you are still just as...incredibly breathtakingly handsome..." She began to run her hands, through his curls, "I am glad you shortened your hair. The ponytail was driving me nuts. This is perfection."

"Was it now?" he chuckled as he began to move with her towards their bedroom, bumping against the wall. "We have time." he practically growled at her. "Ten minutes. We dinnae even have to undress."

"So romantic," Eleanor said, in between kisses.

The clock struck and they both jumped, Jamie releasing her.

Eleanor stepped away, "It's getting late," she frowned, "Where is he?"

Jamie reached out and squeezed her hand, "He willna miss our daughter's wedding. Ye must ken he will be here."

She squeezed his hand back, "You should see her. She looks absolutely stunning. I dare say you will probably cry..."

"Me?" Jamie looked offended, but Eleanor knew it was put on.

"You are so tender with our bairns, Jamie...always have been." Eleanor said, softly. "but we cannot see her until he is here. We did promise."

Jamie snorted, "And he wouldna let us live it down if we did have that moment without him. But why did you leave our daughter alone?"

She laughed, "She isn't alone. She has her sisters. Rose and Hope at least. Charlotte and Bree will meet us at the church with the loads of little ones."

"It will be a lively event," Jamie said. '"Not to mention our lads- William, Hugh, Mac, Samuel and all their wee uns."

"I could never forget our boys," Eleanor pulled him in for another hug, "Look at what you and created together, my love. Children. Grandchildren." She sighed. "And now our littlest one is finally getting married. How can that be?"

"Aye," Jamie smiled, "She has lived up to her name, has she no?"

"Phoebe. Radiant Light." She leaned to kiss him, "Out of darkness and despair, she came to us and healed us...she healed our family. She was meant to be."

"Aye, that she was," Jamie responded as a knock on the door, startled them.

"Come on in," Eleanor called and John entered the room.

"I am sorry I am late...Percy took the longest time to get ready."

In the foyer, stood Lord John Grey, in his finest tux, looking as dapper as the day they met, his blonde hair slicked back.

"John," Eleanor stepped over the foyer to greet John with a gentle kiss on the cheek. "I was soo getting worried about you. It isn't like you to be late."

"My darling, Eleanor, you know I wouldn't miss this for the world" John stepped back to survey her, "Good God in heaven. Just look at you." He leaned forward again to pull her into his embrace, his mouth in her ear, "You still take my breath away, Eleanor."

Eleanor blushed as she glanced at Percy, who winked at her.

"Enough of that," Percy poked at him, clearing his throat loudly. "Ellie, you were always the one woman who could tempt him."

She laughed, and leaned to kiss Percy on the cheek, "And I take that as the highest complement of my womanhood."

Jamie snorted, "I wouldna let it go to your head, lassie."

"It has not," Eleanor made a face a John and then noticed the gold ring on his finger, "John Grey!"

She reached for his hand, "What is this?"

John looked sheepish, "We didn't want to steal the attention away from Phoebe's day, but..." He shifted, "I was of course going to tell you and Jamie. I wanted to right away, but..."

Percy leaned to squeeze his shoulders, "He finally made an honest man out of me"

Eleanor's heart overflowed at seeing the joy in John's steady gaze. "Thank you, Eleanor."

"What did I do?"

"You believed it to be possible...and it was."

She smiled at him, their souls meeting in one glance.

Eleanor's phone buzzed, startling them out of the moment.

Pain flooded Eleanor's head as she tried to move and gather her bearings. Tied up, gagged, hauled up against a tree.

"Dear God," Eleanor moaned.

"Oh good, ye are awake." A man stepped forward and removed her gag.

Eleanor was surrounded by men. She recognized some from a settlement west of Fraser's Ridge. One whose desperate wives at come to here for advice... they were abusive lots, and she gave them a lesson on birth control, wanting to break the cycle of abuse.

Eleanor coughed, trying to clear her dry throat, and at the same time, nausea welled up from deep within. She knew she was in danger, but her thoughts were so jumbled, unable to process what was happening.

"ye are just awake, just in time..."

"In time for what?" Eleanor gasped.

"Yer verdict. English Whore. Ye dinnae think ye could get away with fillin our wive heids with stuffin nonsense...leading them astray, all the while ye bedded two men of yer own, did ye?"

Confusion. Terror. Despair.

Her mind wracked for the words and yet, she couldn't find them. The pounding of her head drove all rational thought away.

Eleanor began to sway as they wrangled the rope around her waist and the other side around the tree, pinning her against it. And as the whip found the target, she saw him. Her eyes must be deceiving her, but there he was.

Will.

Her first love.

Handsome as ever, his dark rimmed glasses framing his face.

"Close your eyes Elle."

Her world became dark again.

"Phoebe said she needs twenty more minutes before we can leave. She said we should practice our dance while we wait. She is so silly, wanting us to have a first dance after hers. Picked out the music and everything for us. She was quite insistent."

"Weel, let's hear it lass," Jamie said as Eleanor pulled up the song, and Jamie offered his hand, "May I?"

Eleanor grinned as he lead her into the open space of their living room, Percy and John following. Eleanor tossed hit play and tossed her smartphone on the table.

Jamie pulled her into his arms and began to swing her around, easily to the beat of the song.

Heart Beats Fast

Colors and Promises

How to be brave- how can I love when I'm

Afraid to fall?

But watching you stand alone

All of my doubt

Suddenly goes away

One step closer...

Jamie began to waltz her around the room, Eleanor's eyes never leaving his...almost in a trance

I have died every day waiting for you

Darling, don't be afraid

I have loved you

For a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Percy clapped his hands, in delight, "How beautiful!"

"Our daughter is the hopeless romantic of our family," Eleanor murmured to Jamie.

"Do ye believe it to be untrue, lass of mine?" Jamie asked, his eyes glued to hers.

"I cannot say I do," Eleanor whispered.

And all along I believed I would find you

Time has brought your heart to me

I have loved you for a thousand years

I'll love you for a thousand more

Eleanor suddenly tripped over Jamie's feet, but he gripped her firm, holding her so she couldn't fall, her world falling out of place again.

"Elle," Will whispered, his hand hovering over her head.

"How are you here?" Eleanor struggled to move.

"Shh, stay still," Will said, "They hurt you. You must protect the child inside of you."

"you didn't answer my question," Eleanor whispered. "How are you here?"

"Time is not linear, Elle. It's circular. And our circles have overlapped again." He pushed his glasses up his nose. "Listen to me, you must fight this. Our daughter still needs you."

Eleanor grimaced, "What do you mean? Charlotte? What's wrong with Charlotte?"

"I don't have much time," Will said, "This is one of the days we can...wander. You must fight this. Fight to live. This is not your time. And your baby isn't going to be the end of you. But you have to fight what is to come...in your head and your heart. For Charlotte's sake...and all these other children you have..." he gave her a boyish grin, "You always said you wanted 6 or 7 kids."

The blood rushed to Eleanor's head, "Why are you talking about Charlotte and not Harry?" A look of pain flashed in Will's face.

"Will?"

"Shhh," Will waved a finger in front of his lips. "They are coming."

"Ye plumb passed out again on us, but now ye are good and awake, it's time."

"Please," Eleanor's back scorched as she was pushed back onto it. "The baby. My baby."

"A baby?" The men around her laughed.

"English whore with the English whore babe in her belly..."

Though she could no longer see him, Will's voice was in her ear, "Tell them it's Jamie's, Elle. Be smart about this."

"It's not...It's Jamie's." Eleanor said, quickly. "It's a Fraser. It is a member of Jamie's clan...and he will not let this stand. He will hunt you down."

"Not if we get to him first," a man sneered in her face.

"Adulterous whore. Why dinnae ye use yer own advice on yerself?"

Eleanor struggled as she began to vomit from the pain gripping her back, she choked on it.

"Ah," The man moved her away from where she threw up. "I thought ye were a lady. Probably used to finer accommodations with that English Laird ye whore yerself out to." He pushed at her as she struggled against him, "Please."

"Nah, I dinnae think so. Stay still."

"Will," Eleanor whispered. "Please help."

"Be brave," he whispered back, "Let yourself succumb to the pain. Don't fight it."

Dizziness overcame her as she struggled, her world falling apart and becoming black again.

"What song did she pick out for us?" John asked. "I hate to even venture to guess."

Eleanor pulled it up, "Get ready. She went OLD SCHOOL. Way Old SCHOOL. Well, all things considering. Old school for me." she laughed. "Maybe not for ya'll"

"What does that even mean, Ellie?" John asked, but he offered his hand to Percy, pulling him in for a dance. Jamie came up beside, Eleanor, his arms around her waist, watching the two of them.

There are Places I remember

All my life

though some of changed

Some forever, not for better

Some have gone

But some remain

All these places have their moments

with lovers and friends

I can still recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life, I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often think about them

In my life, I love you more

The bridge occurred and Percy swung John into Eleanor's direction. John grinned, "May I?"

"It would be an honor, John," she replied and she began to dance with John, falling in natural unison with him.

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often think about them

In my life, I love you more

John pulled her in for a long hug, "You are still so very special to me, Eleanor. I wish you to always know that. How much I do love you."

"Same to you," Eleanor leaned into his ear, "Kindred Spirits? Best Friends?"

"Soulmates," John said.

"Forever and always..."

"MOM!" A voice called for her, "Mom!"

Eleanor went towards the voice, but then...

"Mo graidh, mo ghraidh, Open yer eyes."

"My eyes are open, silly." Eleanor turned back to him. She rolled her eyes. "I have to get to our daughter."

"I'm here now, mo ghraidh. Please. Open yer eyes,"

"Jamie, what is happening?" Eleanor frowned as her world spun out of focus.

Eleanor shifted as her eyes opened, "Will..." she moaned. "Where's Will?"

"mo ghraidh, it's Jamie," Jamie's large hand cradled her face.

"Will," Eleanor moaned.

"Eleanor," He placed her head in his lap, the warmth of the folds of his kilt cradling her head. "I am here with ye."

"Are you real?" Eleanor croaked.

"Aye."

"Swear it to me, James. Swear you are real. And I am alive."

"I will always come for you. I told ye that," Jamie tenderly shifted her as if she was a fragile doll. "Can you sit, lass? There." He reached to place her hands on his face. "I am here. Feel me."

Eleanor rubbed his face, "Oh, Jamie. Thank God. You found me."

"Your dress tore and the blood. There was blood. Twas not verra hard to figure out. If only I hadn't waited to follow ye. I had to check on the wee uns and gather the men. I dinnae ken if it was just ye or if it was our children too. I had to make sure they were safe...and I fear I sacrificed ye in the process."

"But I am alive?" Eleanor asked, "And I'm not dreaming."

Jamie's breath warmed her face as he leaned to kiss her forehead, a gentle, tender, achingly sweet kiss. "I'm here. I promise ye. Ye are safe now."

"My head...it's playing tricks on me," Eleanor whispered, softly. "I don't know...I can't tell what is real and what is false. Where are we?"

Jamie squeezed her hand. "We arena far from their camp. Twas easy to subdue the one guard. But we must be quick about this before they realize what happened. What did they do to ye, lass?"

"My back," Eleanor whispered, "It's burning." Jamie pulled the lantern closer to her and made a long deep guttural sound. "Christ." Jamie's eyes filled with anger, the Fraser Warrior alit in him. "Did they harm ye any where else?"

"I don't quite remember. I kept blacking out. They must have knocked me out...at first... my head has a huge bump on it." Eleanor shifted.

"Let me take a look," Jamie whispered as he reached up to feel the knot on her head, "Ach, no wonder. Ye probably have a concussion." He paused, "Did they... violate ye, mo ghraidh?"

Eleanor shifted, taking stock, "I don't remember, but I'm really sore, Jamie. Oh, God, the baby...I think I might be bleeding. I feel sticky."

Jamie shifted her to her side. "Christ forgive me," Jamie murmured, "And Lord John..."

"Can you try to look without touching me?" Eleanor said, softly. "I don't...I don't want to be touched."

"I can try," Jamie gently shifted her dress, bringing the lantern closer, "It's too dark. I canna really see anythin." He reached for her hand, "I won't touch, but I will guide ye. We must ken aboot the babe."

"Gently," Eleanor's voice was hoarse, immediately tensing as Jamie shifted their hands between her legs.

Jamie made a soft noise, his other hand on supporting her, "I have ye, sweet lass," as he stroked up her leg an then gently swiped at her.

"Am I bleeding?"

Jamie studied her fingers, "No, lass," he practically growled. "It's seed. Ye dinnae remember?"

"I think I blacked out..."

"Small blessings." Jamie whistled into the night.

"What are you going to do?"

"I think ye ken what I will do. I will serve justice to ye, Eleanor."

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you..." Eleanor whispered. "I'm so sorry we fought. I do trust you. I love you."

"No. This is not your fault, alainn ros." Jamie's forehead met hers, "I'm sorrit fer what I said earlier. I should ken not to let ye flee off in a temper. When I realized...when I saw yer torn dress...and the blood...I canna tell ye," Jamie's body shook with emotion, "We will talk aboot this later."

The men soon surrounded them, a dozen and a half men of Fraser's Ridge. All loyal to Jamie. All loyal to her.

"Auntie," Ian knelt beside Eleanor, opposite side from Jamie. "Auntie." His eyes looked at her back in the lantern light. His voice caught. "We are here now."

Eleanor reached for Ian's hand, gripping it. There were no words she could say, but she communicated her love and gratitude with the gesture.

Fergus knelt beside Ian, "My lady," His good hand reached to stroke her hair, "What did they do to you?"

"What they thought an English whore like myself deserved," Eleanor whispered. "I had tried to help their wives...and I forgot...the harshness of the time. Tis not something I will ever forget again."

A throat cleared as a man moved to Jamie's side.

"Mother."

"William," Eleanor struggled, but Jamie admonished her, "You mustn't flail about, alainn ros."

"But William. Why..." her voice trailed off with a gentle squeeze from Ian's hand still in hers.

"Why am I here?" Williams's eyes reached hers, "I am not a boy any longer, mother," William said, his voice low. "Mr. Fraser could not keep me away, not when it was your life at stake. I am a solider, Mama. If I cannot do my duty by the person I love most in the world, how am I to do my duty to Crown and Country?"

She stilled, "A solider? For the British. Does John...?"

"Yes. He wanted to wait to tell you, but it doesn't matter now. All that matters is that we see you well, mama. What they have done to you..." his eyes wandered to her back and the torn hem of her dress. "It cannot lie."

Jamie cleared his throat, "William is right. But he will stay here with you. Protect you while the men and I do what we must." Another squeeze by Ian's hand and a stroke from Fergus's on her head. Jamie leaned to kiss her forehead one more time. "We will be back soon, mo ghraidh."

Jamie inclined his head and the men followed, all but William, who sat next to Eleanor.

"I have water," William pulled out his flask, "Try to drink some."

Eleanor allowed William to help her with the water flask, bringing it to her mouth as she swallowed some and then some more. "Thank you," She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Oh William, what will Lord John say to all of this?"

"I dare say those men should count themselves lucky that Papa is not here," William said. "Mr. Fraser will bring swift justice...I dare say Papa would drawn it out some, especially seeing the welts on your back and the fact they violated you."

"Are they terrible? They burn something awful."

William pulled the lantern to look, his words catching in his throat, "Perhaps they look worse than they truly all. Sometimes wounds will do that."

Eleanor reached for his hand, "I kept having such odd visions."

"Of what?" William squeezed her hand.

"My first husband. His name was Will. I don't think I ever told you that."

"I do not think you did," William said, quietly and then paused, "Do you know what day it is?"

She shook her head.

"It's All Hallows Eve." William said, quietly, "Not that I believe in that nonsense."

Eleanor's face paled more. "I see. I need to speak to Jamie." She began to rose, swaying.

"Mama, no. You must remain," William hopped up, grabbing her. "Mama. Tis not safe. What is happening, you mustn't interfere."

"I need Jamie," Eleanor choked, "You don't get it, William. If Will is here, then he isn't there. And he has to be there. Time is circular.'

"Mama," William reached to pull her into his embrace, "You have been through an ordeal. You have a head wound and what you endured. Tis no wonder. But you must calm yourself. You cannot speak such things."

Eleanor crumpled in his arms and remained that way until Jamie and the men returned, holding captive one man.

She recognized him immediately, shrinking against William.

"Eleanor," Jamie knelt beside her, "When threatened, the other men gave him up. He was the leader- who did these things to you. I believe twas...only the one. They swore to it and this one dinnae deny it."

Eleanor forced herself to look up at the man again, "Yes." She swallowed hard.

One of the men from the Ridge came up to her and handed her a dirk, "Justice, my lady."

Jamie took the dirk, "She canna administer it herself. I am the one who does it on her behalf." The man nodded.

"Would you like to say anything to him?" Jamie prompted softly as he helped her rise. "Last words for him to hear before he joins the others in hell?"

Eleanor looked into the dark eyes of the man, and saw such little remorse.

"He doesn't deserve a second thought from me," Eleanor said, turning her head.

Jamie nodded, "Verra weel, lass." He began to step towards the man, but William cut in front of him.

"Mr. Fraser," William looked resolved, "I am the one who should...defend the honor of my mother. On behalf of Lord John."

"William," Eleanor croaked. "I cannot put that burden on you. You are still so young."

"But in Lord John's absence, I am responsible for you," William rose tall. "I am a solider. At least the first blood on my hands will be for a just and noble cause."

"But..." Eleanor shifted, "Do you know how, William?"

William nodded, "You don't think Father would allow me to enter my profession unprepared, do you?"

And she knew in a heartbeat that John would not.

Eleanor looked to Jamie, meeting his eyes. "Jamie." Eleanor swallowed hard. "This breaks my heart."

Jamie considered Eleanor and his son, the one he could not claim, but still loved with his whole soul. And in that moment, he realized that his beloved first born son was a man. And a man must act in alignment with his principles...his sense of honor and justice. Twas what John would wish for his son...and it was verra much what Jamie wished for him as well.

He handed William the dirk, "William is right. He is a man now, Eleanor. And this is justice. Ye must allow yer son to administer it on yer behalf. Unless ye wish to show this man...who violated ye and whipped ye mercy, Eleanor. In which case, we will stand down."

Eleanor let out a long breath, "I do not wish what happened to me...to happen to others and in this time we are living in, I cannot guarantee it, unless you guarantee it for me. But William...Oh, Jamie."

"Lord John has taught William weel, lass," Jamie put a hand on his son's shoulder, "If ye miss yer mark the first time, lad, dinnae fash," Jamie said, lightly, "A bit of suffering will be just."

"I do not think I can watch," Eleanor said, softly to Jamie as William moved forward.

"Aye," Jamie's eyes were on William, "Ian." He inclined his head, "Take Auntie back to the other camp."

"Aye, Uncle," Ian gently gripped Eleanor's elbow. "Do ye feel like ye can walk, Auntie?"

She nodded, with one more look at William and then Jamie, his stance so protective over his son...

And then she turned.

Eleanor watched the fire crackle in the darkness.

Jamie came up and sat beside her.

"Is it done?"

"Aye," Jamie said, his voice low. "William is leading the men to bury the bodies. I sent Ian back."

Eleanor let out a long breath. "Everything hurts, but I cannot sleep."

"I ken," Jamie said, his voice gentle, "Do ye think ye can turn yer back towards me? I'm gonna try to tend to it. I have whisky. Twill burn fierce, but we must disinfect it as Claire would say."

Eleanor turned as he said and Jamie poured some of his whisky on a cloth and began to rub her wounds with it. Eleanor squealed and Jamie murmured a stream of Gaelic, soothing her.

"I'm sorrit fer it, lass," Jamie whispered. "Fer all of it."

"Tis not your fault," Eleanor said, tears streaming down her face as he continued. "Just dump the whole thing on my back."

Jamie took a breath, "Aye. Scream if ye must."

And when it was over, Jamie took the lantern. "Come, the river is near. We will wash ye while the men are busy. The light is coming up. I packed a change of clothes when gathering supplies...fer ye."

He offered her hand and Eleanor took it.

They went to the rivers edge together. "I'll slip yer dress off and I'll turn my back," Jamie said, softly.

Eleanor allowed him to help her and then she waded into the water as the sun began to rise, "Oh Christ. It's fucking cold," she squealed.

"As cold as Scotland?" Jamie asked, "that one time," he asked as he tossed her the soap and she dunked her head and then tried to use the soap to wash her self. "Do ye remember?"

"I remember everything about us," her teeth chattered, as she worked to clean herself, digging her nails in her legs to try to feel cleaner. "Oh God. Jamie." Eleanor began to sob.

Jamie turned. "I have a cloth. Come. Before ye catch yer death."

Eleanor came and allowed Jamie to wrap her around. And then dress her. All while sobbing. When he put her plaid around her and then held her tight.

"Eleanor. Do ye remember more of what happened, alainn ros?"

"No," Eleanor hiccupped. "Tis not that. Oh, Jamie." She cried and then laughed and then cried more. "The baby. It quickened."

"Are ye certain, lass?" Jamie rested his forehead against hers.

"It just moved again," Eleanor said. "Oh, Jamie. Jamie. There is so much I must tell you. But I am so weary."

"Shh," Jamie comforted her, holding her close, "Just let me hold ye, lass."

Eleanor leaned against Jamie. "What will we do now?"

"I am taking you to Auntie's. Ian will go for the children."

"I need John," Eleanor whispered. "But I do not know how he will react to all of this."

"Aye, I ken. William will ride for Lord John. And when he arrives, I will go to Fraser's Ridge and try to make sure it is safe fer yer return."

"Will I ever feel safe again?"

Jamie pulled her away from him as the sun splashed in vibrant colors against the sky. "Aye. One day. John and I will ensure it. We will carry all of this together. John, ye and I. Just as ye helped me carry everything from the moment we met."

"What will John say?" Eleanor whispered.

"He will be grateful ye are alive, Eleanor. And ye are. Ye are alive. And ye are safe. Ye are our bairn."

"For now." She whispered. "I want to watch our children grow up, Jamie. I want to grow old."

Jamie let out a long breath, "Aye." He leaned to kiss her forehead, "I wish that fer ye as weel. Fer all of us." He stood and reached for her hand, "Come. We must meet the others. Ye will ride with me."

Eleanor stumbled and Jamie swept her up into his arms, "Let me carry ye."

"Thank you," Eleanor whispered as she rested her head against his chest, "For everything."

A/N: So Eleanor's dream...in her dream state, she was with Jamie...which might seem like an odd choice given she just chose Lord John over Jamie, but it was really to give John the opportunity to be his true, free self with threat or condemnation. Because that is deep down in her heart, what she wants for John because she loves him so much. And the visit from Will...that's going to play into other chapters. And yes, we will get to he future and James Mackenzie Fraser. In the next chapter, actually...

And also please let me know what you think!