There was no sleep to welcome her that evening.
There was only a few dreams and they kept repeating over and over again throughout the night.
"I never wanted to do this, not at first.
I didn't think you were ready for this but that was a long time ago it seems, I think you're ready for it now".
They were in the holodeck, Odo typed something into the Holodeck console that was located on the wall.
The Background shifted to a familiar setting.
She recognized the Cardassian Architecture and this particular room was specifically used for discussions regarding war.
It made her arms and neck become bumpy and the prickles stung furiously.
She felt the scar under her eye tingle and slowly that tingle shifted to a harsh throbbing burn.
Odo's solid form blossomed into a gelatinous pillar and that pillar trembled into someone she had never wanted to see again:Madred.
"Hello again, Taya".
He had rich eloquent voice, a touchy upper crust tone that often would snarl at the end of each word.
"Mardred.
Wha- wha- What are you doing here?
Why won't you leave me alone?!"
"I could never leave you, alone, my child.
Can't you see that I miss you?"
Mardred had a deliberately dramatic way of talking where he would drag certain words and sentences out so that what was being said had more depth and meaning.
"Well I don't miss you.
I have a new life now, a life without YOU!"
"Yes you can live life without me but I cannot live a life without you."
"You suck the very life out of people so just so you can live.
You nearly drained everything in me that was good and beautiful.
You do that to everyone.
You kill the soul, Madred and you kill the spirit with it!"
"I didn't kill you though, not physically anyway but I left your life intact, I let your life remain.
Think about it, Taya why would I let you live?"
"You wanted someone you could control, so you tried to break my spirits so I'd submit to you in fear but it didn't work, so the torture continued."
Madred's stoic face rippled into the Face of Gul Dukat.
"I spared you because I knew you were special.
I couldn't bare to eliminate such a rare and precious thing like yourself and here's the twist I loved you and I still love you".
"You love No one, Dukat and No one loves you except Tora who only loves you because she is pure of heart unlike you.
I thought you loved me but then when you kissed me you didn't cry out my name you cried out hers."
"Nerys, Nerys, Nerys."
Dukat bubbled away to reveal Odo yet again.
Odo's hoarse voice snarled those last 3 words
"I used to love Nerys once, I thought she had finally learned how to love me but deep down I knew her only excuse for intimacy was for pity.
She pitied me for my loveless upbringing, my vast loneliness, she pitied me for all my isolation and all those times where people shunned me from society.
She never loved me, she loved others, she loved Berial and Shakarr and Gul Dukat but never me.
I was her pet, her plaything, I was nothing but a dragon she thought she could tame and train.
I was a beast to her, a freak that she felt sorry for.
All those years of her dragging me on was a waste.
She never thought I had any depth, she thought I was an emotionless,empty void."
Odo melted into a puddle, the puddle quickly dissipated to reveal a Technicolor piece of material, the material on closer examination was actually a bright multicolored jacket.
It shimmered like a rainbow but the material itself felt like polyester and cotton.
This dream kept repeating over and over again.
The air was humid, her skin was so warm that the sheets were holding fast to her legs like bugs on flypaper.
She quickly snatched the sheets from her skin and decided to shower just to remove the syrupy prespiration from off her body.
After she was clean she surmised that there was probably no point in going back to sleep with the repetitive nightmares hammering her head every time she closed her eyes to drift off to sleep, so she proposed that she go on walk underneath the promenade.
This path she knew either would take her straight to Security or right past it depending on how far she was wiliing to go.
She thought it only right to drop by the security station to see Odo.
She also concluded that she should wear her uniform just in case Odo had a job for her to do when she got there.
She remembered that ancient terran tech she had found hooked up to the holodeck, the one Odo claimed wasn't his; she'd probably dive into solving that little mystery when she arrived so that was at least something to look forward to.
Odo was straighting his desk the same way he had done before not just for Taya's sake but also the way he used to tidy up for Major Kiras.
However Odo's grasp on his tablet nearly slipped when he saw Taya walk right into his office.
Odo's eyes gleamed under his burly brow like two sky blue neon signs as he saw her approach his desk so she could sit down in the chair just opposite of him, on the other side.
"You...are... early.
Very early if I might add.
Taya, what are doing here at this hour?"
Odo sighed in a irritated fashion.
"I couldn't sleep...yet again, so I decided to take a walk and my walk lead me here.
So here I am, reporting for duty Constable Odo".
She gave him another mock salute.
"I don't find this amusing, Ensign.
It is 3:00 in the morning, you should be in bed, not here in my office, reporting for duty.
May I ask why you couldn't sleep this time?"
"I've been having these nightmares, Constable, recurring nightmares.
Every time I close my eyes, the same dreams come flowing in and repeat over and over again.
I can't seem to escape them, no matter what I do, so I don't sleep, at least not much".
"Interesting.
Do any of these nightmares make sense or are they just randomly generated nonsense that your mind is creating subconsciously on its own accord?"
"There is nothing randomly generated about my dreams Constable but they do make sense in a way.
I mean these dreams do display certain truths but the way in which they these truths are presented, is rather odd and creative."
"Dreams are like that or so I've heard.
I don't dream because as you know I have no need for sleep, so I don't claim to be the expert.
Thankfully I know people that are experts in the matter, Sisko for instance is a master when it comes to the subject of dreams.
He is Emissary so it is his business to know such things.
You mentioned your dreams display certain truths, do you believe that all of these dreams have some sort of hidden message perhaps? You know hidden truths that can be explained".
"Yes I do in a way but what worries me is that I don't know how to decipher these hidden messages that are so well concealed in my dreams."
"Sisko can help with that, he may even be able to interpret these dreams if you give him a chance.
Another thing that would be helpful is for you to attend some counseling sessions, for your mental health and for the sake of your sanity.
Trauma can become quite disruptive and quite a distraction...if you're not careful."
"I can live without a few nights of sleep, it's not a big deal".
"Yes, it is a big deal.
I appreciate you being early, in fact I much perfer you be early than be behind schedule but these dreams are disrupting your sleep patterns and if that kind of disruption continues those few sleepless nights will start to add up, eventually this exhaustion will progress to the point you may no longer be able to carry on with your work here.
So I suggest you take care of this situation before it gets out of hand.
You see I can live without sleep and you cannot."
"So what do you suggest I do to solve this situation with my disrupted sleep patterns?"
"You will have regular sessions with a Counseler or a registered Psychiatrist that's assigned to this station, you will take up certain hobbies on your spare time if needed and you will be seeing Sisko very soon to discuss your dreams and recurring nightmares."
"Sound like I don't have much choice in the matter."
"No, indeed you do not.
I am your Commanding Officer and your Superior as well as your Employer, so you will do everything I ask of you as long as you are on this station.
You don't answer to anyone else on this station, not to Sisko, not to Bashir, not to Bashir and not even Kurland for the matter, is that understood?"
"Yes Commander. I understand."
"This means that as long as you are on this station you will follow my orders and you will live by my rules.
I allowed you to remain here so that makes me responsible for you.
I cannot be negligent in any fashion especially when it comes to the enlisted personel on my staff.
If you remember correctly, It is by my authorization that you still remain on this station, so please don't try my patience and you are not under any circumstances to disobey a direct order, is that understood as well or do I have to repeat myself?"
"No there's no need for that Commander, I understand.
I will not disobey a direct order, I will receive counseling, I will find some sort of outlet outside of work and I will talk with Sisko soon".
Taya repeated his orders rather robotically.
"Excellent. You actually were paying attention, a trait that is rare amongst most of my trainees.
Now, it's still far too early for you to be sent off to an assignment, so I suggest you get some rest in the meantime."
Taya sat up from her chair and just before she approached the door Odo stopped her right in her tracks.
"And just where are you headed off to Ensign?"
"I'm going to my quarters to get some much needed rest, Commander."
"Of course, you needn't have to leave...just yet...you could make use of the cot that's located in the containment unit...over there if you wish to that is".
"That's a cell, Commander.
The brig, the place you hold prisoners in".
"I know that, Ensign.
I don't take prisoners Taya, I incarcerate criminals, there's a difference.
What matters is that particular cot is available.
It's not even being used at the moment so I don't see the harm in you using it... for the time being.
I'll even turn down the lights if you want me to."
Taya was surprised at his sudden gesture of kindness towards her.
"So you wouldn't mind if I sleep in there?"
"No, I would not mind, not at all, not even in the slightest, I wouldn't have offered if I did.
You have my permission to use that cot however you see fit.
It's at your complete disposal... for now...that is until I actually catch a criminal".
He smiled at her surreptitiously as he tilted his head slightly downwards.
"Is it comfortable?"
"I've heard that it is surprisingly comfortable.
There was a certain Klingon who nearly spent a whole night in there, he was a Starfleet Officer and A captain I believe, perhaps you've heard of him, Worf Son of Mogh.He slept a whole 12 hours in that cell and he never complained about it being uncomfortable.
So I think you should be alright".
"Of course I've heard of Worf, Chief Security Officer of the USS Enterprise, he worked with the legendary Captain, Jean-Luc Picard.
His travels were even more legendary, at least the stories played out the way."
"Stories always play out that way Ensign, they always portray people and the events that take place around them to be more than they actually are.
There's always a legend involved and usually a largly over exaggerated event that usually makes the star of the story become some sort of god, immortal and unstoppable, always victorious no matter the odds.
Worf was just another hero in yet another legendary saga to you but to me he was unpredictable, often a nuisance, he loved to interfere with my investigations, he was impulsive, passionate about his work with Star Fleet so he'd often commit to every assignment completely undeterred and uninhibited by distractions or any sort of emotional distress.
He was also a honest man, always determined to do what was right, however sometimes he was often confused where his place was on this station.
He was actually much like me, uncertain and reserved due to shame and low self esteem brought on by emotional insecurity.
He eventually found his place as will you.
Now go and rest, Ensign.
You'll need it".
"You're not going to put the stasis up are you?"
"No,Not unless you plan on breaking the law, Ensign, anytime soon.
I have no reason to keep you here against your will.
You aren't on Cardassia any longer Taya".
"I suppose not.
I'll try to get some sleep.
I don't see why it would help to sleep here instead of in my quarters".
"I can give you a few good reasons.
Didn't you say you always felt safe and protected whenever you're with me?"
"Yes I did but I didn't know that meant I could sleep in your office".
"You won't be in my Office, Ensign, you'll be in a unguarded cell, don't try to overthink it.
Just rest then think about it later".
Odo had a warmly casual way of saying that.
"Alright, I'll try to, I doubt if it will work but we'll see".
"Yes we'll see.
Rest well, Taya.
Let me know if you need anything.
I'll be right over there behind the desk if you need me."
"Thank you, this is umm... really sweet of you".
"Don't mention, really don't.
I don't need you to thank me and I don't need you to mention this to anyone else either.
Okay".
Taya just nodded in agreement as she awkwardly stepped inside the cell.
"Computer Turn lights down to 15 percent."
Odo commanded rather reflectively, lost in her words, the words that had told him he was kind and sweet.
Maybe he was in a way but there was no one that could prove that at least not yet.