A/N: (Posted December 17, 2023) Hey, guys! Another Kladora served up hot, just for you. This just kinda fell in my head at work on the 7th, and to be honest, I'm really proud of this one. I absolutely loved writing this. Got so many warm, fluff feels from it. Anyway, I'm rambling. Hope ya like it! Never done an AU before, so let's see how this goes. And thanks again for your views, faves, follows, reviews, and support. You guys make me who I am on here, and I owe you tremendously. Enjoy! :) \m/

Disclaimer: Me no own ASOUE. Please keep your lawyers on a leash. It's the law.

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RATED T FOR:

- LANGUAGE
- SUGGESTIVE CONTENT

Your Chariot Awaits

Klaus sighed and looked down at his lap. It was Friday, it was dinnertime, and it was a small summer break for V.F.D. apprentices––the perfect equation to take the girl of his dreams on a date. Ahh, Isadora Quagmire. Just her name alone gave him chills. He'd met her a couple months ago at the V.F.D. Headquarters in the Mortmain Mountains, in a math class that all apprentices were required to take in order to graduate. After the professor had assigned them homework, Isadora's pencil tip had snapped and she'd turned around to ask him for a pencil sharpener because the one in the classroom had broken the day before. He'd given her his and the two hit it off, eventually trading dorm numbers so they could hang out. He'd completely taken advantage of this and was glued to her side whenever they were free and he wasn't reading. And she didn't seem to mind, either. But since it was summer break, they were back home with their parents, away from the bitter cold and mysteries shrouded in danger. Right before they went on break last week, he'd asked her to go on a date with him, and much to his delight, she'd accepted. And now the time had come for him to give her a night she'd never forget.

"Don't worry, honey, you'll be fine," Mrs. Baudelaire said, taking her eyes off the road to give him a proud, soothing smile. "She's probably just as nervous as you are."

Klaus took a deep breath and wiped his hands up and down his pants. "Yeah, I guess," he said, not entirely convinced. He'd already sweat through one shirt, and they'd already traveled all the way across the city to get to her house. He didn't have time to go home and change again. Otherwise, he'd be late, and not only was it rude to make her wait, but first impressions of a boy were everything to a girl's parents. And if they didn't approve of him, then he could kiss his chances with her goodbye. He leaned his head against the window. Everything outside seemed to rush by quicker than it should have, and soon, he felt sick to his stomach. He shut his eyes and took some more deep breaths. Why was he even worrying? He and Isadora were good friends––there was nothing to worry about. It wasn't like they'd just met. He knew what he was getting into. She was sweet, smart, funny, cute…nothing that would send him running for the hills. So this last minute panic attack was very unwarranted. "I think I'm gonna throw up."

"Deep breaths, Klaus," Mrs. Baudelaire said, doing the exercise with him. "That's it." They had just exited the city limits and were now turning onto a quiet street decorated on both sides with the largest, prettiest houses Klaus had ever seen, all of them just as elegant as the Baudelaire mansion.

"How much further?" Klaus asked, taking off his glasses so he could wipe the sweat off his face.

Mrs. Baudelaire was quiet for a moment as she honed in on a particular house on the right, then, when they were in front of it, she pulled over, put the car in park, and looked at Klaus. "We're here," she said with a smile.

"We are?!" Klaus's eyes bulged, his gaze darting to the giant yellow doors. He gulped. "Um…"

"You'll do fine," Mrs. Baudelaire assured him. "Raymond and Melanie are our best friends. They'll take very good care of you."

Heart pounding, Klaus looked at his mother, then back at the Quagmire mansion. "Um…" he choked again.

"Go on," Mrs. Baudelaire said gently, nodding at the doors. "I'll be right here."

Klaus looked at Mrs. Baudelaire one more time, then opened the car door and got out, his legs ready to give up with him. He walked up to the giant yellow doors and rung the doorbell. A regal melody alerted the inhabitants of his presence, and it wasn't long before the door creaked opened. It was a boy a little older than him, dressed in a polo and dress pants, his dark hair neatly combed over to the side. He offered Klaus a warm smile. "Hi there," he said.

"Hi," Klaus managed to say, his throat swelling up. "Is Isadora here?"

The boy's smile turned into a grin. "You must be Klaus," he said. "I'm her brother, Duncan. She's told me so much about you."

Klaus nodded, praying that only good things were said about him. "It's nice to meet you," he said, offering his hand.

Duncan gladly took his hand and shook it firmly. "Nice to meet you, too."

"Who is it?" came a voice behind Duncan.

Klaus and Duncan looked to find another boy peering over Duncan's shoulder, only this boy had messier hair. Wait…no. It couldn't be. Was he…was he seeing double? Was he that disoriented that his eyes had split Duncan in two?

"Sorry, we're Jewish," the boy said.

"He's not Jehovah's Witness, Quigley," Duncan said.

"Oh…well, who are you?" Quigley asked.

"I'm here to see Isadora," Klaus said.

"No!" Quigley shouted, and immediately, the door slammed in his face.

Klaus blinked. Did that really just happen? He looked around at Mrs. Baudelaire, unsure of what to do. She tipped her head, puzzled. Klaus shrugged, but still stood on the doorstep, debating what to do next. Just then, the door opened again, and again, it was Duncan, and he didn't look too happy, either.

"I said get outta here, Quigley!" Duncan yelled over his shoulder. He looked back at Klaus apologetically. "So sorry about that. Ignore our brother. He's an idiot. Come on in." He ushered Klaus into the foyer and Klaus did as told. "Mother, Father, Klaus is here!"

"Isadora, your boy-toy is here!" Quigley parroted.

"What?!" came Isadora's frantic cry from down the hall. "But I'm not ready!"

"Why am I not surprised?" Quigley said.

"Just focus on getting ready, Izzy! We'll keep Klaus company!" Duncan said.

"Thank you!" Isadora said.

"Can't rush perfection," Klaus said, as if reminding himself to be patient.

Duncan gave him a look and Quigley glared at him.

"Don't get fresh with my daughter," a gravelly voice warned from down the opposite hall.

Klaus jumped and looked to find a tall, gruff-looking man and a beautiful, kind-looking woman emerging into the foyer. "Klaus!" the woman said as she walked over to him, flashing him a welcoming smile. She wrapped him in a loving hug. "So good to finally meet you! You look just like your father."

Klaus smiled and hugged her back. "Nice to meet you, Mrs. Quagmire," he said.

"We've heard so much about you," Mrs. Quagmire said.

"A little too much," Mr. Quagmire said.

"Ray," Mrs. Quagmire said firmly.

"What?" Mr. Quagmire said.

"Please," Mrs. Quagmire gestured to the couch against the wall. "Have a seat."

Klaus made himself as comfy as he could on the couch, Duncan and Quigley taking a seat on either side of him. Mr. and Mrs. Quagmire took a seat on the couch on the wall across from them.

"So," Mr. Quagmire said, getting straight to the point. "You like my daughter, huh?"

"I do," Klaus said. "A lot."

"Yeah, she's something else," Mr. Quagmire shared a smile with Mrs. Quagmire. "She's a daddy's girl, my whole world."

"Our whole world," Mrs. Quagmire corrected him.

"Er, right. That's what I meant," Mr. Quagmire nodded. "So. What attracted you to her?"

"And her butt don't count," Quigley snarled.

Duncan facepalmed himself. "Don't you have a map to do or something?"

"No. I finished it this morning," Quigley said.

"Well, go make another one."

"I haven't picked one to do yet."

"Well, go pick one, then!"

"No! I wanna make sure this idiot isn't gonna hurt our sister!"

"I'm not, I promise," Klaus said.

"I didn't ask you!" Quigley snapped. "And no, you're not dating Isadora!"

"Took the words right out of my mouth, son," Mr. Quagmire said.

"Quigley, go check on your sister," Mrs. Quagmire sighed.

Quigley growled. "Fine," he said. He reluctantly got up off the couch and walked down the hall.

"Anyway, as I was saying," Mr. Quagmire said. "What drew you to my Izzy?"

"Well, um," Klaus scratched his head. He didn't have time to name everything he loved about her, so the top answers would have to suffice. "I like that she's sweet. She's smart. Uh…" He looked around the room. Mr. Quagmire was staring him down, Mrs. Quagmire was smiling at him, and Duncan was a combination of both. And Quigley? He already knew that if Mrs. Quagmire hadn't have sent him to check on Isadora, he would've beaten him to a pulp. "Uh… She's a good poet. She's cute." No! Don't say that! Otherwise Mr. Quagmire would think he only cared about his daughter's looks. Damn it! What an idiotic thing to say. "She's, uhh…" He felt his forehead become dewy.

"C'mon, Izzy, you've been in there for two hours," Quigley said, pounding loudly on the door.

"Don't come in, Quigley, I'm not done," Isadora said.

There was a pause.

"Quigley! I said don't come in here!" Isadora screamed angrily.

"You're still not done with your hair?" Quigley asked.

"No! Now get out!"

Quigley was quiet for a minute. "Wet and wild eyeliner," he said, sounding more like he was reading. "You're not going out dressed like that."

"Yes I am! Now get out!"

Another pause.

"Quigley! Gimme it!"

Quigley laughed. "Can't go out if you don't have your makeup."

"That's my boy," Mr. Quagmire said, beaming proudly.

"Gimme it!" Isadora said, sounding more and more demonic with each demand. Quigley came running back down the hall, laughing. "Duncan!"

Always there to save her day, Duncan sprung up from the couch and darted over to intercept the target. He tackled Quigley when he came into view and the two tumbled to the floor, wrestling around for Isadora's eyeliner.

"Oh, I see, sick your sister on me!" Quigley yelled down the hall.

"Shut up, Quigley!" Duncan spat, shoving his face into the floor.

Mr. Quagmire shook his head, amused, Mrs. Quagmire shook her head, disappointed. "Good parenting?" Mr. Quagmire said.

"Always, darling," Mrs. Quagmire said.

Klaus blinked at the chaos. He'd only seen the two boys in passing at the headquarters, so he didn't really know them, but was this how they really were when they were alone with each other? Isadora had told him that they had each other's backs and that they loved each other deeply outside of the house. Was it all a lie to look good in front of him? Hopefully she wouldn't be much longer…

"Get off me, Duncan!" Quigley said through a smushed face.

"Give me the eyeliner!" Duncan said.

"Make me!" Quigley said. After much difficulty, he finally rolled over and pinned Duncan to the floor. Duncan thrashed all around, trying to break free. Not knowing what else to do, he swung his leg as hard as he could. Quigley let out a pained wheeze and toppled over onto the floor, grabbing his crotch. "I'm gonna kill you!" he said.

Duncan got up and held out his hand. "Give me the eyeliner and I'll stop."

Fearing another blow to his valuables, Quigley dropped the skinny stick into his hand and winced. Duncan stepped over his brother and walked down the hall to the bathroom. "Isadora? I got it back," he said, knocking.

Isadora opened the door and smiled, relieved. "Thanks, Duncan," she breathed. "I owe you. I just gotta put makeup on and I'll be ready."

"Okay. Take your time," Duncan smiled at her, then came back down the hall, stepped over Quigley, and sat down next to Klaus.

"I'm very disappointed in you boys," Mrs. Quagmire said sternly, shaking her head. "We have a guest over and you two want to act like animals on the floor. You two know better. We've raised you better."

"I was just trying to make sure Isadora wouldn't go out," Quigley choked, trying to get off the floor. "It was Duncan who was the linebacker."

"You wouldn't have given it back to me if I asked for it, anyway," Duncan pointed out.

"Yeah, I wouldn't," Quigley said with an evil grin.

Duncan glared at him.

"Quigley, have a seat so we can get back to talking with Klaus," Mrs. Quagmire said.

Quigley came back over to the couch and sat down, nudging Klaus extra hard as he did.

"Quigley!" Mrs. Quagmire hissed.

"What?" Quigley said innocently.

"Don't play dumb. Now say you're sorry."

Quigley smirked at Klaus. "Sorry," he muttered.

"Say it so he can hear you."

"Sorry," Quigley said louder.

"That's better. Now, Klaus. Tell us about your V.F.D. major."

"Uh, researcher," Klaus said, realizing he was in the hot seat again. "Can't count how many books I've read."

"Isadora tells me you have an eidetic memory. Is that true?" Mrs. Quagmire asked.

"I do," Klaus said proudly.

"That's impressive."

"Meh," Mr. Quagmire said with an indifferent shrug.

Mrs. Quagmire gave him a look. "Can you compliment him on something?"

Mr. Quagmire looked at her, then at Klaus. "Uhh…you're much more well-mannered than that other boy who wanted to date Isadora. What was his name? Ricky? Ralphie?"

"Randy," Quigley said disgustedly. "He was a pig and I'm glad he's gone."

"Probably because you beat him up in the front yard," Duncan said.

"He pressured her into a date and he didn't treat her right. That's why."

Klaus gulped and looked at the floor. If one hair on Isadora's head was harmed, he'd never live to read another book again. And just that outcome alone was enough to give him nightmares.

"And don't think he won't do it to you if she comes home crying," Duncan said.

"If she goes out," Quigley said.

"She's going out tonight, Quigley. Get over it."

"Hold on, now," Mr. Quagmire said, holding up a hand. "Not just any boy is gonna take my Izzy out." Mr. Quagmire stared Klaus down again, and Klaus shifted in his seat. Was this the same man his mother said would take very good care of him? Because he was beginning to have second thoughts. "That girl is my everything, and I need to make sure–––"

"I'm ready!"

Everyone looked to find Isadora emerging into the foyer, a grin five miles wide on her face. She was dressed to kill in a short black dress and tall heels to match, and was nothing short of breathtaking. Her raven hair was curled and draped down her shoulders like an elegant waterfall, and the smoky eye and eyeliner she wore hid her in enough mystery that it was enough to make Klaus crazy.

"How do I look?" Isadora asked.

"Beautiful, princess," Mr. Quagmire said with a smile.

"Beautiful indeed," Klaus agreed, his heart picking up the pace.

"Shut up, pervert!" Quigley said, then looked back at Isadora. "You're not going out like that. You look like a whore."

"Quigley!" Mr. Quagmire barked. "Be nice to your sister!"

"She does!" Quigley said. "Look at her!"

"Shut up, Quigley!" Isadora said. "I do not!"

"Honey, don't you have anything a little longer?" Mrs. Quagmire asked, examining her wardrobe choice.

"No. I wear dresses like this all the time. What's wrong with this one?"

"It's a lot shorter than your other ones," Duncan said. "It's gonna attract trouble."

Here, Mr. Quagmire, Quigley, and Duncan all looked at Klaus. Klaus swallowed. Back in the hot seat again. Great. Just what he wanted. And it was in front of Isadora, too. Wonderful.

"What?" Klaus said.

"Don't 'what' me," Quigley said. "You know exactly what Duncan means."

"I'm not gonna do anything. I promise."

"You better not," Duncan said. "I just might have to join in with Quigley if you do."

"Guys, leave him alone," Isadora said, walking to the front door. "C'mon, Klaus."

Eager to get out of the furnace, Klaus jumped up and followed her. But before they could walk out, Mr. Quagmire got up and stepped in front of the door. He was a mountain of a man, at least six feet tall, and there was no way around him. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked.

"Out," Isadora said.

"I was talking to him," Mr. Quagmire said, pointing at Klaus.

"Uh…" Klaus felt the color drain from his face. "Out?"

"You leave when I say," Mr. Quagmire said.

"Okay," Klaus stuttered.

"Father," Isadora said tiredly.

Mr. Quagmire stepped around Isadora and stood toe-to-toe with him, the look in his eyes stone-cold. Klaus gulped again. He was even taller up close. "I didn't finish my sentence earlier," he said. "I don't let just any boy take my Izzy out. She means everything to me, and I need to make sure you'll take good care of her while you're out tonight."

"You're letting her go?" Quigley said, astonished.

"If it were my choice, no. But, this means a lot to your sister, so, yes." Mr. Quagmire looked back at Klaus for an answer to his question.

"I'll take good care of her. I promise," Klaus said, nodding.

"You'll respect her, you'll protect her, and if you don't, I don't mind going to prison."

"Yes, sir," Klaus nodded again, nightmares creeping into his head once more.

Mr. Quagmire stared him down for what felt like forever. Klaus's vision began to blur. He didn't know how much more he could take of this. "Alright," Mr. Quagmire nodded at the door. "Get outta here."

Klaus stepped around him and hurried past Isadora. "You ready?" he asked.

"Mm hm," Isadora nodded with an excited smile.

"Alright. Your chariot awaits," Klaus said, pulling the door open for her.

"Alright, don't get fresh now," Mr. Quagmire said, giving him a look.

"Thank you," Isadora said and walked outside. "Bye, guys! See you tonight!"

"Remember, ten o'clock, you better be in this driveway!" Mr. Quagmire called as Klaus walked outside.

"I will!" Isadora said.

Mrs. Baudelaire looked up from her book and smiled at them. "Hi, Isadora," she said as Klaus opened the door for her and helped her inside.

"Hi, Mrs. Baudelaire," Isadora said.

"So nice to finally meet you," Mrs. Baudelaire said, marking her place inside her book and tucking it under the console. "Klaus has told us so much about you."

"Is that so?" Isadora looked slyly at Klaus after he climbed in and buckled up.

"Yes, he has," Mrs. Baudelaire said. "Not a day goes by that he doesn't."

Klaus and Isadora both blushed, then looked back at the Quagmire mansion. Everybody was gathered on the front porch to see the princess depart. Mr. Quagmire and Quigley were staring Klaus down, daring him to make a move, Mrs. Quagmire was smiling at Isadora, tears welling up in her eyes at how time had flown, and Duncan was a combination of both, minus the crying. Feeling his blood run cold again, Klaus looked down at his lap, fearing that even a mere glance at Isadora would trigger backlash on a galactic scale. Seeing his discomfort, Isadora reached over, took Klaus's hand in hers, and rubbed it with her thumb. Klaus smiled at her, then looked back down.

"You guys ready?" Mrs. Baudelaire asked, looking at them in the rear view mirror.

"Yes, ma'am," Isadora said.

Mrs. Baudelaire put the car in drive, waved at Mr. and Mrs. Quagmire, who waved back with big grins on their faces, and drove off into the night. As she drove, Isadora looked back and waved at her family, who all waved at her until they disappeared out of sight.

"So, Isadora. Klaus tells me you major in poetry," Mrs. Baudelaire said, as they made their way back into the city.

"I do," Isadora said proudly. "My specialty is couplets."

"I see. Who's your favorite poet?"

"Lord Byron."

"Ah."

"I saw your daughter scale Mount Fraught a couple weeks ago while we were at lunch. Apparently she only made climbing shoes out of forks and ukulele strings?"

"Yep. That's my Violet. She's an inventor. She uses anything she can get her hands on to make her inventions. I about had a heart attack when the professors told me about what happened. Now I know where she gets her bravery from."

"Who?"

"Me."

Isadora chuckled. "My brothers won't stop talking about her. Quigley calls her MacGyver. They're both trying to hatch a plan to ask her out."

"Is that so? Will I be expecting one of them on my doorstep soon?"

"Maybe. If either one of them has the guts to ask her on a date."

"Well, if they happen to, Bertrand and I look forward to meeting them." Noticing how quiet her son had been since they'd left the Quagmire household, Mrs. Baudelaire looked in the rear view mirror at Klaus. "Honey, are you alright? You look pale, and not because of before we got there."

Klaus looked up. "Oh, I'm fine. Just a little nervous," he said.

"You're more than nervous, you look terrified. What happened?"

"Oh, it was just my father and brothers putting the fear of God in him," Isadora said, rubbing Klaus's hand again. "They do that to every boy who asks me out. Making sure I'm respected and protected or they'll hurt him and all that. You know how boys are."

"I see." Mrs. Baudelaire was quiet for a moment, thinking. "Well, I'd hate to explain to your parents why you didn't come home if my son tells me the date didn't go well."

Isadora perked up. Had she heard that correctly? "I'm sorry?"

Mrs. Baudelaire looked at Isadora in the rear view mirror with a smile that could mean anything. "Violet can make a weapon out of anything and I know where to hide you. So if you walk all over my son, I'll pick her up and we'll have a girls' night out."

Isadora swallowed and looked at Klaus. Klaus shrugged sheepishly.

"And I didn't say you could hold his hand, now did I?" Mrs. Baudelaire said.

Immediately, Isadora jerked her hand out of Klaus's and folded them in her lap, her breath quickening.

Mrs. Baudelaire smiled at Klaus and resumed watching the road.

Klaus and Isadora shared a nervous glance. Now they both were playing with fire. And the fire on either side was so hot, neither one dared to overstep the boundaries. They both looked out their respective windows.

Tonight was going to be fun.