He told me I wouldn't sleep.
Why did all his words have to be like a curse within the inner thoughts of my heart?
I had to sleep, I had work in the morning or at least I thought I did.
I had a job, an actual job which after contemplating over it for a long while in the darkness, I realized that job was probably going to my only access to the outside world from now on in.
My uncle had an insatiable drive for money so he would do anything for profit. This job in his eyes was just another way of gathering money, not only that but it was another scheme to bleed me dry of everything I had.
I almost inaudibly chuckled while my eyes created strange shapes in the dark, silver smoke, silver stars and silver rings, twisted and pulsated with my heart beat, the whole pattern wove in and out across the ceiling like a demented kaleidoscope.
Was I seeing things or was it that trick your eyes do when they don't see enough movement?
Either way it was trippy but the only reason I was laughing, was the thought of how he was never going to get his 60%.
He'd never get a dime and I'd finally have enough money to support myself, maybe even make a new life outside of his jurisdiction.
The money wasn't what was valuable in this situation, what was valuable was the humor in seeing him react to the news in the future.
There is no money Uncle. There is no money because there was no contract. Oh no you misunderstood me, let me be clear, there is no money for you.
This money isn't for you to touch, you can't touch any of it just like you can't touch me.
This will be the last I'll see you uncle.
You never saw me anyway.
You never heard me so my voice will disappear, my face will fade from your memory, eventually everything you ever knew of me will be gone, I won't even be a memory, I won't even exist...
at least not in this reality.
I would often imagine all the things I would say to him if I was brave enough.
I'd look at back at the past conversations, I'd see myself standing up to him, I'd tell him a what I'd really thought and felt about him, about his money schemes, about his travels and useless inventions.
Fortunately in all these fantasies those words worked like magic spells, they could protect me, they would redeem me and they would not only ward off the deception of my uncle but they would defeat him. I'd leave him speechless, he'd stand down and I'd walk out of the room in absolute confidence of my victory.
The first time in my life I could breath, I could sigh in the comfort of knowing he'd never hurt me again but I knew I'd never be able to do that myself.
I couldn't even escape my uncle's car without calling on the assistance of a demon.
Yes he was on my side for now yet he was a demon and demons were shifty.
Even if he remained completely loyal to me, the way he spoke of toying with my uncle made me nervous to the point my stomach tightened and twisted, throbbing into a knot, giving me a raw nausea that rippled through my body like an ancient sickness.
There was a hidden agenda behind those dark ever shifting eyes.
The casual joy he had when he spoke to me of toying with him, the certain smirk, the fixated gazes he let wander into nothingness as he described how far his sick little game would go.
He wanted me to be like him and now that I came here, he denied it.
If he made me take joy in my uncle's suffering perhaps I'd be more perceptive to his offer of immortality perhaps I'd be even more perceptive if he were to possess me.
Committing an evil deed Against Humanity no doubt was some sort of seal on my soul, it was my signature, my ultimate agreement and my last grip on Humanity.
Surely he wanted to trap me somehow in my own emotions.
If he lost me, if I stained my clean robes, I'd have no choice but to ask him for his cloak, I'd wear the darkness willingly but first he had to drive me to commit the ultimate sin, the unforgivable one, the one that would make me lose all connection to humankind.
What was I getting myself into?
Yes I hated my uncle but by making an alliance with this demon I was only putting myself into another cage yet this time it was bigger.
He was going to be just another groomer, another Svengali that would control every aspect of my life, I'd live another sad existence of being constantly micro managed.
I'd never be free.
How could I be so stupid?
Freedom in the hands of a demon was no freedom at all, it was a trap, that presented itself as a door of escape for me.
So loving a demon was obviously my only way out of this, either that or I could pretend I cared for him yet he probably wouldn't buy that since he was far too intelligent and intuitive to fall for any mild theatrics.
"Reality is such a fragile thing isn't it?
Darkness doesn't hide the truth from you, it only disguises it temporarily, while your mind wanders into the vast abyss of the night.
Truth they say is revealed by the light, the dark is exposed by all its splendor but darkness has much to reveal to this world, it has much to say and many secrets to unveil, yes in darkness there is clarity of thought and there is truth."
Silver Smoke erupted like the opening of a rare flower from the ceiling and there emerged the foreboding form of Raphael Dwindle.
For a moment I thought he was going to freefall right on top of me but as he fell, his body spun upright and the same smoke became a solid platform which transported him to the very end of my bed.
"Darkness might be a friend to you but he's no friend of mine".
All I had really wanted to say is that I didn't believe a word he said.
"Doubtful are you?
Funny that you should doubt the validity of the darkness when you yourself have been living in the shadow of your uncle all this time."
"Darkness isn't the same as a shadow. Look you can stop with the twisted riddles and all these weird quizzical metaphors, I'm not really all that impressed and I don't really believe them either."
"Oh you're definitely impressed but you're uneasy about it, you doubt your own feelings and thoughts that are flowing through you."
"STOP IT! The only one I doubt right now is you!"
"See the truth is made known yet again in the endless splendor of the night.
Darkness really does reveal all things and here we are facing the truth in the darkness...together if I may add".
"You are infuriatingly impossible!"
I held onto the frame of the bed and defiantly I craned my neck so as my face could meet his own.
"I admit I am rather full of myself but I'm far from impossible. I can be reasonable, you'll see, I can even be agreeable if you want me to, all you have to do is ask".
"Oh I'm not asking believe me and frankly I don't want to know how reasonable you can be."
"Oh why not?
Is it because I'm not like you?"
"Well...yes actually but also you are a demon, you long for things I'll never agree with, you have certain beliefs I will never embrace, certain ideals that I'll probably never be at peace with.
This darkness I will never take comfort in."
"I understand, my ways are not your ways.
Yet tell me what do you know of my beliefs and of my ideals?
How do you know what I long for?
What do you know of my desires and my dreams?"
There was a painful ache in his voice but he wasn't angry despite the tearful quality of his tone.
"That's all my uncle would ask.
How do you know Splendor?
How do you know the body was buried there?
How do you know there's secrets hiding behind the walls?
How do you know there's something else out there that you can't see?
I don't really have the answers for that, I know what I know, the truth just comes to me, I hear it in my head, I hear it in the trees, I hear it riding off in the woods, I hear it spoken by the sun, the shadows, the life that lives in the earth and the by the creatures that crawl all over the ground.
I hear the truth everywhere and I can't escape it.
So the fact that I'm in the darkness right now as we speak really proves nothing about the truth.
The truth finds me, wherever I go, whether it's night or day, so I don't think being here in a darkened room is any exception.
here's another I don't know everything, I understand you, I can communicate with you just fine but to know your desires and dreams, I'd have to either be told or I'd have to get inside your head which I doubt you'd want me to do. Your thoughts, your feelings, your beliefs and your ideals are personal, private and they are your own."
"Yes they are but I'd very much like to share them with someone, I was hoping I could share them with you but that may be too much to ask from you.
I'm not meaning to be condescending, it's merely that I don't know if you're ready just yet to hear my story."
"Aw you have a story now?"
"Oh of course I do, everybody does. Don't you?"
"I do, I do have a story yet I doubt if it's as fun and exciting as yours".
"Oh it's not fun, no it's not a fun story, it's a long dark depressing story, that probably should be told over time, you know bit by bit, night after night, it's not a story you take in one sitting, it's lengthy and it's just a little too much to process within a short amount of time.
I wouldn't want to overwhelm you".
"I see what you're doing here.
It's kind of cute but very manipulative."
"Manipulative? I'm just giving you the intro to a story.
What I'm telling you is something you'd read on the back cover of a book. I'm not even doing that, I'm giving you a book recommendation, it's a mere suggestion really, it's not mandatory, think of it as optional."
"Yes it's always optional with you right?"
My cheesy smile poorly hid the snide sarcasm in my voice.
"Oh. I see what's going on with you. You're worried that I'm going to take away your will...just like he did.
Quite understandable.
You think I'm here to steal from you, to rob you of your inner most desires and dreams. Do you actually think I've come to snuff out your light?"
"No it's more than that, I think you've come to lead me astray from the path of light and I seriously think you're using some sick form of seduction to bring me to your side and to make me see things your way".
"Yet again you don't know my thoughts and feelings, so you don't know how I see things or how I see the world.
I haven't shared them with you yet I'm opening up that possibility for you, to see more and know more.
A possibility is just another option, Splendor.
You can take it or you can leave it, you can either accept it or reject it.
There is no wrong answer when it comes to your will".
His voice was breathless and whispery, it almost made my mind float away in comfort and utter euphoria.
"Understand I'm not here to steal your life like a thief in the night.
I'm not after your will, I'm not even after your soul, I don't want that kind of control over you.
I just want a connection with someone."
"A connection or a relationship?"
"Oh dear, really do we have to go there? I didn't want to have to go there but since we're here, I suppose I do, rather fancy you."
"I thought as much.
Your voice kind of gave you away."
"Oh just my voice? How about my face?"
His smile made his fangs look like two white pearls in the darkness.
"Well yes of course, you have a very expressive face.
You know I have this strangest feeling that I know you.
Ever since I came here I can't seem to escape this weird familiarity that I have with you and this place.
I feel like I've known you for a long time.
"You feel as if you've just Returned from a long journey doesn't it?
I feel it too, I feel you were here before and whenever I'm around you I forget my caution, I forget my bitterness, my loneliness and the pain of my past.
It's something in your eyes, something I can't escape. There is this incredible calm, an emerald oasis, an emerald lagoon that's free of all the stormy seas.
I can't help but have this incredible urge to express myself and bring forth everything I am, presenting it to you as a gift. I feel the gates of my heart opening, I've tried desperately to shut them again but some invisible force keeps drawing me to you and everything spills out of me, my thoughts and my feelings, they come out like a flood, I can't contain it, I struggle to even form
full sentences.
I am vulnerable in your presence and that is not in my nature to be.
I've always been a terrifying and formidable creature, firm and strong,cruel and forbidding.
I am fear and terror, I am the nightmare everyone runs from and I'm the monster that hides in closets and under beds.
Yet I am also misery, sadness and loneliness.
I am the sea of tears and I am the cries of pain and anguish, yet I pretend I don't feel it.
I pretend I don't feel guilt for their suffering. I pretend their suffering means nothing to me.
I treat their pain as if it were a mere amusement.
The truth is I hate it all, I hate the darkness, I hate this cloak, this horrible face, this horrible house and I hate the one they call Master!"
He snarled the word master with such contempt, his lip curled in disgust.
"Master?
Oh you don't mean Lucifer do you?"
"Who else would it be?
Yes it is the so-called master, the one that started it all. Humph, I've never even met him and I still don't like him.
You know what's really crummy is not once has that high and mighty whippersnapper ever considered helping someone like me.
I'm one of his own kind but I wasn't born at the right time apparently, why I wasn't even around when the fall occurred.
The Fall of man, I wasn't there for that either.
When I was around, that chump had already fallen too many times to count.
Let's just say I'm not a fan, he doesn't have my vote and I am not impressed with him in any way."
"So you don't actually look up to him? You don't even worship him?"
"Worship him? That's a laugh.
I can hardly say his name without gagging on my own disgust.
No he's no friend of mine, so you don't have to worry about him coming here.
I don't even think he even knows who I am.
I have a Certain anonymity within the demon community, in layman's terms that means I'm a nobody, I'm small fry, I'm lower class, a bottom feeder, a low life and I am practically non existent."
"Well to them maybe but that's just another useless class system.
You don't look like a nobody to me, besides
you're really powerful for someone who's just a nobody.
I don't know much about demons but I don't think I have ever seen any low life's or bottom feeders that can do the things you can. I mean I haven't seen much of what you can do but how about you show me what you really can do... tomorrow?"
"Do you mean it?
Are you serious right now?"
His voice was suspicious but his eyes were glowing as two newly lit lanterns.
"Um yes I think so.
Why are your eyes doing that?"
"Doing what?"
He feigned his ignorance.
"Glowing, they're doing a glowing thing."
"Oh that. Why does it bother you?
Do I make you nervous?
Is it unsettling, uncomfortable, or worrisome to you?
Do I frighten you?
Is that fear I hear or is it simply excitement that is bringing that heart alive right now?"
"It's a little bit of everything actually, all mixed into one jumble".
"Yes you are a bit of a jumble.
I think that's why I've taken such a liking to you.
You make me a jumble as well.
You're a mystery to me but then your thoughts and feelings are open to me like a book.
However you hold back from me.
I feel this harsh and bitter resistance.
It's almost as if you have this secret fear.
A fear you won't even allow me to see."
"I already told you why.
It's not just you, it's everyone.
I don't trust anyone in this world, I never have, I never was able to, no one ever gave me the chance...till now".
"So are you saying that you trust me now?"
"Well yes a little bit, not completely mind you but I trust you more than that atrocity that's downstairs right now."
"You know that's actually pretty sad that you'd rather give your trust to an actual demon rather than giving it to one of your own kind".
"What a strange thing to say especially after what he did to me.
He doesn't even treat me like a human being and as far as I'm concerned he hardly is one.
So no he's not one of my kind".
"Yes how foolish of me, he's hardly worthy to be one of your kind.
He's the scum of the earth if you ask me.
What's more is he's hardly worthy of you.
He doesn't even deserve someone as splendorous as you."
"You can stop now, with all the flattery.
It's not about worth or about what either of us deserve and you know this. I, called on you out of desperation. I guess I shouldn't have but the truth is I prefer him over you.
I mean seriously I'd take you any day than have to spend time with that monster!"
His eyes were vivid with a passionate glow, his expression was fiercely enthralled, the corners of his mouth tilted which only served to enrich and deepen the hunger that was slowly overshadowing his face.
I thought for a moment he was just going to lunge at me.
I imagine him flying towards me his arms open, his hands embracing my waist, he'd smoothly make his way down to my legs, cupping my thighs, as if to scoop me up but instead he'd firmly but gently drive me down into the soft sheets, his weight securely planting me to the bed.
I wondered if his touch was icy or torrid like Dirk had been which I nearly shuddered at the memory of him.
I wanted to imagine what happened next but for some reason I never could get past that part.
The part where he was right at the front door, I'd never let him in, I never allowed him to even take a single step inside, I couldn't let him go deep into my forbidden hallway.
I always locked that door, I punished myself for wanting to open it.
I'd feel so ashamed of looking through the key hole to see all that I was missing out on.
There was plenty of sensuality in my dreams but nothing ever went as far as passionate kissing.
Perhaps there would be a eager hand that would grasp my buttocks, a cold hand would clasp my breast, I'd be given a massage in a few of those areas, the hands would massage the top of my thigh, till one of the hands would drift down to my groin.
Somehow that was enough to excite me yet I still went no further.
The reason being I had never opened that door to anyone, I'd never known a real man, yet I always imagined what it would be like to have one.
I'd known the imposters, the ones that forced me onto my knees in subservience yet I knew nothing of what a real man was
I didn't want to be impulsive so I looked away from his hungry gaze.
"Now you see the truth."
The hunger left him and melted into melancholy.
"Do you really prefer me over him or is that just mere desperation?"
His eyes were pleading me as he drifted closer to my bed, drifting towards the right side of my bed his hand outreached almost accusingly.
He had massive hands yet they were slim, unnaturally elongated, slightly yellowed, the nails bore black lines which twisted around his hand like tiny vines.
I could see his nails had a dull silvery shimmer as if he had applied some sort of gloss to them.
They were the hands of a Piano virtuoso, a terrifying grace that made me both fascinated me and made me uncomfortably uneasy.
"No I don't believe this is desperation but really I don't have many options at this point.
I have no one to turn to right now."
"There is always a choice, you can choose whatever path you wish and you can create the path yourself if you so desire.
You do have options, you have only to look for them.
You can choose to leave or you can choose to stay.
You could stay and have him leave instead.
You'd like him out of the picture wouldn't you?
I could do that, I could give that to you.
I could give you even more...than that, I could give you a way of escape, a true escape, an escape so perfect that it's permanent and eternal.
You could be eternal too, just like me, however you have to choose it, I can't choose it for you."
"Yes you could, he did without much trouble".
"I don't want that. I'm not like him.
I don't want to use force, coercion or manipulation to get what I want. When I want something I ask and since you are a sentient being, I will ask you nicely and if you refuse, I will accept your answer and I will respect your choice. So choose your path."
"You respect me?"
"Yes why shouldn't I?Oh I see it's because I'm a demon.
Do you seriously think demons show no respect to human kind?
I do have respect for humanity you know, not for every human of course but most I respect until they prove themselves unworthy.
These days it's getting harder and harder to give that respect to people yet I'll reserve my respect for you. Think of it as a gift, a blessing and a privilege because I don't give my respect to just anyone nowadays.
Consider yourself lucky that you don't have me as an enemy.
I'm a formidable foe and I usually leave wounds that never heal or I leave scars that are never seen."
"I already have enough of those;
Those invisible scars and wounds, I hide them from people, I cover them up and I bury them, hoping someday I'll forget them but I never do.
I wish people could see them, I desperately wish it.
I wish I could carve out those words I so greatly long to say out loud into my skin.
I know it sounds unstable but if I could use a dagger not to kill but only to lightly mark my skin, then they'd see how much I bleed inside, they'd see my pain, they'd see my scars and then maybe people would actually listen to me and see me as an actual human being.
Sometimes I just want to scream at him and say "I'm alive in here. I feel everything, I see everything and I know everything, yet what's so stupid is he breaks me when I could break him at any moment if I had the confidence to do so.
I could expose him, tell everyone his secrets, reveal to the world what a fraud he is.
I could shout of all of his darkest deeds in the streets, report it on the radio, spill all of it out on public Television but I'm a nice person, I'm the good girl, so I suffer in silence while he relishes being in the spotlight, shining while I grow dim, he lives while I'm dying inside.
I sit and I watch him enjoy his success while I wait for my turn which I feared would never come but now I have that chance.
I have a chance to be my own person, make my own money, support myself and eventually I might even become famous but it's not about the riches and the fame, it's about the freedom.
I'll be free, hopefully one day I'll be free forever.
I'll have to leave the house for a bit but I will return, every day in fact."
"See I told you, you have options, you have choices and different pathways in which to choose from.
The trouble is that uncle of yours, how are you going to free yourself of him?"
"Well I haven't really gotten that far to be honest.
You see there's this film producer that sort of tricked my uncle into thinking I have a contract. He's so impulsive and hot headed that he hasn't even looked at that contract. If he did he'd find out it was fake.
This producer, Mansfield, doesn't trust him in fact he saw right through him.
He has one of those smiles that light up the room but secretly he's very cunning and I believe him to be very kind.
I think he might even be a friend".
"Hold onto that, hold onto him, friends are rare.
It doesn't matter how many people claim to be your friend, don't let go of the people you can trust, even if it's just one person, trust them, open up to them, allow them entrance into your life because one day you may find that all those smiling faces, are gone and you're left all alone with no one to turn to".
"I could still turn to you.
Look I love these night discussions but I really need to get some rest, I believe I have work in the morning".
"Oh of course, how insensitive of me. I shall leave you to rest.
It was rude of me to interrupt your nightly activities.
Do continue, rest, replenish your strength."
"Wait, I hope this isn't too forward but could you stay here with me?"
The right corner of his lips tilted upward revealing a smug open grin.
"No that's not too Forward, not at all, I don't mind yet still you blush. Why do you blush?"
"Oh that's not the forward part.
I hope you don't think this to be too imprudent and improper but I was wondering if you wouldn't mind staying here, you know on the bed, by my side?
Just as a comfort not as anything else mind you."
He shifted his head back, twisting it ever so slightly to the left, he shaped his lips into O shape as if he was surprised but then he smiled as if what I said was the most natural and normal request in all the world.
He had a casual expectation on his face as if this was something he had planned for me to say.
"I must say that is most irregular, almost unexpected even but I don't think it's too shocking of a request and it takes a lot to shock me.
I'm far from shocked so no I wouldn't mind at all, it is for the sake of your comfort after all".
His highly arched brows, came together to create a collapsed bridge, he appeared studious and sternly concerned, his eyes were quizzical.
"You seem surprised".
My eyes were pleading and wet with compassion for him.
"I am to be honest.
I am surprised you'd ask me such a thing.
Most don't ever ask, they dare not ask for they fear me.
It's just... unexpected yet at the same time, I had anticipated it.
I don't know why I'd anticipate this.
Aren't you frightened of me or of what I could do to you, you know in your sleep?"
"Why should I be frightened of what you can do while I'm asleep?"
"You've never heard of a paralysis demon?
A Dream Demon?
They are not very common, quite rare actually but they are extremely powerful for the fact they can completely paralyze you without even touching you, yet that's not the worst part, they can also simultaneously enter the dream realm, more specifically the dream realm which belongs to their victim and then possess them during the night.
The dream realm can be used to access the mind of any unsuspecting human and since the human is the most vulnerable during their dream state, this makes for very easy prey which means the possession can take place smoothly, swiftly and naturally."
"You sound like you speak from experience.
You've done this before I take it".
I contorted my mouth into a uncomfortable frown.
"Once, very long ago, I possessed someone.
It wasn't for long and it wasn't because I hadn't the strength for it, it was because the whole process was uncomfortable.
You don't just take over their mind, you fuse your mind with theirs, everything you are becomes theirs, you become one, almost as if you were the same person but you combined two people to create a new entity Anyway it was absolutely appalling, it was atrocious, I hated it, it sickened me, I couldn't stand it.
So I never did that again.
The paralysis was easy,I've done it many times, the dream walking however is a true delight.
Why is it best part of toying with a human.
Mind you,I don't torture them or hurt them, I just like to play around with them a bit, give them a show with fire and smoke, writing on the walls, blood soaked ceilings blood in the sink, black spots on the corners, shadows seen only for a split second, howling winds, unforgiving fog, sudden storms that always lead to thunder and lightening.
That's what I do, I frighten people, unfortunately I frighten people away.
So I'm surprised you're not frightened by me as well."
"No I'm not frightened by you.
I'm a bit intimidated but not frightened. I guess you could call it a morbid fascination."
I don't know what took over me but I couldn't contain my curiosity, so my hand drifted to meet his face, my finger slightly outstretched, unsure but steady, hoping my curiosity would be quenched once I was able to touch his skin.
I had wanted to the moment I saw him manifest into solid form, in my dream.
I'd longed desperately for my fingertips to make contact with his immortal flesh.
I didn't know why but this curiosity drove me to do this with a passion unlike any I had ever experienced. I couldn't fight curiosity any longer.
"What are you doing?"
Dwindle's eyes appeared to swell in size, the whites disappearing as the pupils expanded unnaturally in his horrified mortification.
The scorn in his voice broke the trance I was under.
"I don't know...I don't know exactly how to explain it but the moment I saw you I just had this terrible urge to reach out and touch you. I suppose I was just curious but I seriously think it might be more than that. I think I just wanted to know if you were real.
You seem almost too perfect like a dream depicted in a painting.
I could almost imagine your face above the fireplace, a perfect Michelangelo, a perfect da vinci,possibly as an overseer of the house."
"Oh dear, you think I'm a work of art. Honestly I'm flattered but that's oddly disturbing that you'd think that, it's actually rather scary that you'd even see that.
I mean seriously have you seen my face, you know in the daylight? It's not a pretty picture."
"No I haven't seen you in the sunlight but I don't think I care to, I'm more concerned about how you look right now."
"Well then, you might as well enjoy this time because when you wake, you probably will be screaming.
It's the lighting, the shadows, the darkness, I tend to thrive in dimly lit environments and I just happen to look better in darker settings. I'm not all that perfect...looking I assure you.
Look in real life I'm hideous which is why I've come to you at night, so I can be presentable."
"Now that's some real bullshit there.
Don't you see? I'm not worried about poor lighting and I don't care about how hideous you think you look in the sunlight.
All I know is what I see and what I see is beautiful".
There was horror in his eyes at this point and I could tell he wanted to bolt away as a vampire would to the intrusion of the sun but he was too shocked to shove my hand from his face and flee from my bed.
"Why are you so surprised?
You know I'm clairvoyant.
I'm what you could call a seer,I see things others don't. I've had my share of hearing things as well and apparently I can understand ancient languages that I wasn't even aware I had learned.
I didn't think this would be a big deal because I thought you wanted me to see you this way."
"I can't make you see things".
He said very slowly.
"Yes you can and you very well could without much trouble.
What about the smoke and mirrors and all the special effects you can do to toy with humans?"
"That's different. That's just a few parlor tricks, it's nothing that special, besides none of that would have the power to change how you see me."
"Hmmm...how about the dream realm and the possession stuff?"
"That is a violation of the most basic human rights. I can't do that, I won't do that, I simply refuse.
So you're free to see me however you wish.
I won't stop you, I'm just a little taken aback that you'd see me as a beautiful work of art.
I'm far from that, I am a horrible monster and the only reason I was ever created was to torment and torture the humans souls that walk upon this earth.
I have but one purpose and that is to be a curse to all mankind.
I'm not meant to be looked at and I'm certainly not meant to be admired. I AM EVIL!"
The voice had an eerie resonance that reverberated from all directions.
"Yet you still you want me to love you".
I spoke softly almost reducing my thoughtful and heartfelt tone to a compassionate whisper.
His head twisted to the side and his look of horror shifted to pure bewilderment, the corners of his eyes bled slightly, revealing anger and insult. He shared with me an unflinching side scowl, it was intimidating and accusing. I admit, he terrified me in a way but I returned his scowl with a sheepish smile, I peered down briefly and then instead of glaring back I allowed my eyes to soften and bashfully bloom into tender pools of emerald as I gradually lifted my head to meet his unforgiving leer.
"Yet again it's still up to you."
He had a grim voice that sounded winded and rather numb.
"You're right it's not a matter that I'm not capable of making you love me it's merely a matter of morals.
I have virtues you know, certain standards, rules in which I implement to limit myself. Limit is not quite the word rather I have boundaries. Yes I have boundaries, boundaries that I drew myself so I wouldn't fall as others of my kind have. Really if I'm to be honest the thought of forcing you to love me absolutely sickens me.
Forced love isn't real love at all, it's just survival, it's just desperation and it's just your tenacious will to live. It is violence and pure violation.
You can't live without love, living without love is merely just existing.
You can do that any day but to love willingly without any mind tricks, spells or enchantments of coercion, that is true love. I'm not like your uncle that just expects everyone to love him.
I don't expect you to love me, I don't expect anyone to but I hope for it, I dream of it and imagine that one day someone will. I suppose I'm what you call an optimist, I hope the best and expect the worst. I keep my hopes fairly low though and I don't allow my dreams to carry me away.
Still I have to remember I'm cursed and I'm not destined to be loved.
Satan made sure of that long ago."
"Satan has no hold over you, he's not here, it's only you and me here, besides you yourself said he has nothing to do with you and he doesn't even care for you, you don't care for him either, so you should be fine.
The fact you don't want to force me to do anything against my will because of certain values, virtues and morals proves to me you aren't actually evil.
It does make me wonder though.
What kind of demon are you?"
He chuckled serenely at this.
"Well before I was called Dwindle, my name used to be mourn, it wasn't one I chose though, in fact it was more of a cruel joke than an actual name, a sick pet name the other demons gave me.
There was a reason for it though, as twisted as the logic was, I was referred to as Mourn for the mere reason that I was assigned to be the epitome of sadness.
I was a demon of sadness due to my tragic face and since I was far too emotional for the rest of them, they ostracized me, they threw me to the wind, made my outpost as isolating and lonely as possible.
The only reason I'm here is to serve as a reminder that evil still exists and I've even failed at that.
I suppose that doesn't explain much especially about what I do. A demon of sadness is merely just a demon that incites sadness in others. I have the ability to create sadness as well as summon a variety of different emotions and if need be I can bring forth any type of energy and wield it to my will, using it as a weapon to all who come here. I use emotions and dark energy in order to feed upon those that stay here as well.
I can however do so much more, so much more than any of those fools thought I could.
I can bend reality to the point where I have access to enter any realm that exists out there in the universe and I could create new worlds if I chose yet unfortunately I'm chained down to this one.
This however can change at any time.
I can be free but the method to accomplish this is so primitive and barbaric I simply refuse to do it."
"What must you do to accomplish that?"
I allowed my hand to slip away from his face to tenderly grasp onto his shoulder.
"I need a pure willing soul like your own to come with me to the netherworld".
"Oh that's it? I think I could do that without any problem".
"Yes that's easy enough but there's a little more to it than that. You see there's a catch, sadly you kind of have to be dead in order to cross over to my world or you simply need to be like me, immortal, unchanging and infinite.
Yet again the choice is entirely up to you. You could even choose not to free me at all."
"What if I found another way to free you?"
"Well...that certainly would be interesting. I admit I'm intrigued. Please tell me more".
"I might not know what I'm talking about but from my understanding curses are like contracts and contracts always have loopholes, so maybe if I found a loophole, I could use that loophole to free you from this place, Think of that loophole as a tiny door, a way in which you can escape."
"You really are very clever, you know that.
I quite like where that brilliant mind of yours is heading.
I could listen to you all night and even for all day if you wished me to."
He slid his hand gingerly across my cheek so so he could embrace my face affectionately.
I gasped because the moment he touched me was like the first touch of snow, yet the iciness sent a delicious surge of electricity through me. I felt the electricity loosen the muscles in my legs, I felt my inner thighs become tender, I felt my buttocks burn and that burn spread like wild fire to my groin causing my nether regions and my internal and inner most parts to twinge and prickle, the door to my forbidden hallway opened as a flower did to greet the sun.
I felt as if the purest light was entering through this hallway, flowing all the way to my soul.
The light swept through me as a ghost, filling my empty heart, my soul swelling with bliss yet still I wanted to resist it.
"Don't...don't...no...no...no wait.
I'm not sure...I'm not ready for this".
My voice was winded but still it sounded as if I was still lost in that infinite bliss.
I felt the iciness withdrawal from me.
"Alright...I understand... I think.
Actually I'm not quite sure what you mean by "not ready"
What aren't you ready for?"
"I don't understand it myself. I just was so overwhelmed for some reason."
"Overwhelmed. I see. Overwhelmed by what exactly?"
"Overwhelmed by you of course".
"Oh...I don't know if that's supposed to be an insult or a compliment. Perhaps you could enlighten me."
"I don't know if I want to enlighten you, it's kind of -well it's kind of embarrassing."
"I think you may be delirious. I hardly touched you and I certainly didn't touch anything I shouldn't. You should go to sleep.
We can discuss this more in the morning."
"Will you keep him out of here for me?"
"He won't step a foot in this room as long as I'm here, I promise you. I promise you I'll keep you safe.
Don't worry, he's no match for me, nobody is usually, so relax, shut your eyes and go to sleep."
"Yes you're probably right. Thank you by the way, for saving my life. I'm very grateful for it, I'm grateful for you."
"Shush now. There's no need to thank me now, you can thank me in the morning."
I immediately felt very safe, eventually that comfort glided over me and my mind dove into darkness, I felt myself tumble down as Alice did down the rabbit hole.