Where the bloody hell was Sidney?

There was no one on this planet that was as quizzical,mystifying and confusing as he was to me.

He did a great deal of things I had no knowledge about, he would lurk around the studio as of he was a ghost and some people even claimed that they had no memory of seeing him in the room despite the fact he was right there in plain view for all to see.

I still to this day have people who consistently on a regular basis act as if they had met Sidney for the first time.

There are people I've spoken to that literally tell me they've never met him in their life when in truth he's been to every business meeting, pretending to sip his coffee as usual.

Unfortunately even though he is one of my closest friends, he is arrogant and prideful, often he is careless and insensitive and he will be so sure of himself he'll hastily dive into dangerous situations, missing very vital pieces of information that could have prevented him from messing up in the first place.

He won't admit it but he can be highly impulsive at times but this one error has left me broken.

He has over the past 5 years become more reclusive and less attentive to my feelings and other needs.

I don't know why he's blinded himself to my sufferings but his negligence has left it's mark over time, one scratch at a time, I've added them like a talley to my arm, for every moment he's missed or subsequently forgotten.

I didn't do it to punish him, i decided I'd rather punish myself so that's why I took a blade to my arm.

It was from all the stress, the anxiety, the uncertainty, the seemingly unrelenting pressure of being the producer of this place.

I carved out my frustration as if I could erase it from my skin.

"Good morning, Mansfield.

Sorry I'm late, I had a few errands to run and then I had to give a certain someone a ride here.

Maybe you know her... perhaps".

Sidney appeared as if he just had materialized into the room and he was leaning on the entryway wall with one his of elbows while the familiar face of Splendor emerged from the doorway behind him.

I had to shut my mouth because seeing her yet again made my jaw drop in awe of her beauty.

"You're Uncle didn't bring you here today hmmmm."

"No he's feeling a bit under the weather, so he couldn't make it here today.

I mean he was too sick to drive me here today, he claims he wants nothing to do with this location hunting business, he hates ghost hunting and all things paranormal and supernatural. Apparently it disgusts him, so I didn't push it, I left when I had the chance, needless to say he wasn't really all that pleased with me going on this location hunting thing.

He wasn't even in a really good mood, so I thought it best to leave before... before he could stop me".

"Oh I doubt if he could stop you, Miss Bently. You're very determined and quite resilient if I may add".

"Oh I have my ways but most importantly, I had a vision, last night.

It was about you two.

I believe you two were fighting. Am I Just crazy or did you have a big fight last night?"

"We did but it was more early morning, a few hours before sun up and as far as I'm concerned it wasn't that long ago".

Sidney snidely explained to her of our heated discussion.

"Just out of curiosity what did you see in this vision?"

Sidney sneered suspiciously at her as he took his elbow from the wall and sauntered over to us.

"Well what I saw and heard will remain completely confidential.

I'll give you the summary of what I saw and heard in my vision.

You two were here, in this part of the studio, Sidney was upset over some demon and then you were angry at him for being insensitive, you told him how much he owed you, I know the story of how you two met since Sidney told me not too long ago.

Then you revealed these cuts on your arm and that's pretty much all I know".

"Wow. I must say this is rather embarrassing.

You weren't supposed to see that but then again it can't really be helped as I'm sure you have no control over these visions of yours.

I appreciate your honesty as well as your discretion."

I scratched my head subconsciously out of my nervousy.

"You needn't be embarrassed.

I mean it's just me that knows and I understand being the producer for a big place like this can't be easy for you, the pressures, the anxiety and the frustration alone must be eat you alive.

I'm sorry you have to deal with all that".

I was surprised because I thought she wouldn't understand if she learned I was struggling like this.

These scars were the ugly truth of the darkness that I'd faught to hide from the world.

I thought she'd reject me for sure if she knew of these scars.

The fear of judgment was so strong, my stomach felt as if I was falling off a cliff at the moment.

"I really have no right to judge Manny. I was admitted to Morningside 22 times, so I understand what it is to struggle with one's mental health. When I was there I learned a lot about myself and about humanity in general.

I've seen things, blood in the corner, urine in the hallways, black mold in the walls, people screaming as they scratch out their frustration into their flesh, there was such anguish and heartache, it was unbearable at times.

What's sad is most of those people weren't crazy when first got there, that place makes people crazy, it drives people bonkers, it's almost like it's cursed.

So you see I understand, I'm not going to judge you if that's what you're afraid of.

We all struggle and we all suffer regardless if people are there with is or not.

Depression and stress happens in crowded chaos as well as in our silent moments alone.

So some things can't be prevented even if you're right there when the event is taking place, some things are out of our control no matter what we do to stop it from happening."

She shifted her gaze to Sidney, it was a wise gaze, kind, tender and slightly amused.

"You're speaking to me aren't you?"

Sidney whispered to her, hoarsely in his utter bewilderment.

Splendor slowly dipped her head to nod in confirmation that she had indeed directed that last bit towards him.

"Don't be too hard on yourself.

We all make mistakes, even vampires do at times and it's okay to be wrong, you can't get things right all the time.

If life was one long string of successes, what would you learn?

You cannot learn from success, you can only learn from your mistakes.

Failures don't make you a failure, failures are just lessons but to truly be a failure you would have to give up entirely and something tells me you probably won't be giving up anytime soon."

He smiled at Sidney, her playful confidence was almost too much for me to process.

Why did I have this unmistakable urge to grab ahold of her right now?

I wouldn't hold onto her roughly, I'd do so as gently as possible, my hands caressing her arms, I'd slip my hands around her waist, I'd pull her Forward, so close to me, I'd feel the rise of her chest as she breathed in and out, I'd feel her heartbeat and I'd savor the warmth her body provided for me.

"Well...I think we'd better start the meeting... Mansfield.

We've waited long enough".

Sidney cleared his throat, slammed his hands together and then he stroked them against one another as if to soothe the soreness.

"Now just wait one minute, Sidney. I want to tell you something, something important.

I'm sorry... for pulling rank on you like that. You really owe me nothing Sidney.

It is I who owe you.

Let's make this work, I hate for us to be cross with one another.

I just want us to get along, you understand.

There's no reason for us to be at odds, we are better as a team, what do you say?"

"Oh... I suppose I could make a few compromises and put a few of my prejudices aside.

You don't owe me anything, Manny.

I was the one that started all the drama.

I am drama, I am a chaotic diva, I make waves and create problems wherever I go thankfully I usually resolve all the Issues and I clean up after myself as you know.

I should have been more attentive and I haven't been, I've been distant and grumpy lately.

Since I don't want sugar coat it the truth is that I'm a arrogant asshole.

I presume things, I rush into things I shouldn't and I get so darned hyper focused on things I forget the big picture and I miss out on so much while I'm buzzing all over the place.

So I'm sorry that you had to deal with all of this alone.

I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere".

"Thank you Sidney".

I reached over to hug him but he stiffened so I decided just to give him a friendly pat on the back instead.

"And thank you Splendor.

You repaired the rift between us.

You Just prevented our friendship from capsizing and going under.

You stopped our boat from sinking.

If you hadn't come here today all these countless years of friendship would have been truly lost.

Yet again you've saved the day".

Sidney rolled his eyes while Splendor, tried to sporadically avoid making eye contact with me.

"Yes The hero of the hour, nevermind that if it wasn't for me she wouldn't be here in the first place.

I'm the one that brought here remember?"

Sidney crossed his arms indignantly as his eyes intensely gleamed with mild outrage.

"Yes thank you for the transportation, Sidney."

Splendor spoke as a mother would to a child who desperately wanted to help her but somehow had made the mess worse than before.

"Your help is much appreciated, Sidney, it always has been and it always will be".

I spoke firmly to my friend.

"Well I must say that's better. I should be appreciated.

I'm not the hero but at least I could be the supporting role...for once... instead of a bit part".

"You know very well Sidney that you have never been a bit part and you never will be.

Stop being such a child and we will commence the meeting".

Sidney feigned his indifference by pretending to examine his fingernails.

I gathered everyone over the intercom speaker system that was set up all over the studio and then we packed up all our equipment and then went our way, single file out the studio doors, in search of the perfect location for our first ghost hunt.