I scanned the parking lot I saw Sidney begrudgingly slammed his car door shut and there was Splendor attempting to power walk towards me.
"You have a ride?"
I inquired when she finally arrived in front of me.
She hid a dark glare which I saw Sidney briefly return to her by giving her a condescending leer.
"Yes I do, just not with him apparently.
He's kind of grumpy at the moment, so I might as well ride with you that is if you don't mind".
"Mind...no I don't mind at all.
No not at all, you are more then welcome to join me.
Did you two have some sort of argument?
You seem rather stressed."
"It wasn't a argument, it started as a normal conversation but it took a dark turn...somehow."
I went up to the beige van and gallanty opened the door for her.
"A dark turn how, exactly?"
I asked the moment I placed my hands on tbe steering wheel.
"That's just it, I don't know, it just happened. What's worse is I was really beginning to like him but now I'm going back to the way things were before. He seems to have a good heart and good intentions but then he just switches on me. I don't understand it, I admit I haven't always been that nice to him but I've been civil with him for the most part.
I honestly don't want to despise him but he keeps pushing me into a corner so I don't have much choice.
He's very unpredictable and frankly that scares me."
"Don't be too hard on yourself, he confuses me on a constant basis.
He is an arrogant asshole after all just like he said but there is no one in this world that I have met that is as loyal and as unconditionally loving as he is.
He's not all bad, he's just been through a lot of bad things in his life and most of it wasn't even his fault.
You probably know the story about his daughter's disappearance.
His wife is no where to be found either.
It's a real tragedy, he really deserved better you know and that wife of his was so very cruel to him before she left.
They were supposedly a real power couple too, they were happy, passionate, she was working full time, he was staying behind watching the child, they seemed to have it all worked out.
They were devoted to one another completely but you know he thought for awhile that it was a demon that drove her away. It was a theory he held onto for a long time but eventually he had to accept that she was already a bit unstable before he met her.
It was a bitter pill for him to swallow, the whole experience made him bitter as well."
"What do you think what really happened?"
"Oh I have no idea but I'm definitely open to the demon possession theory.
It is certainly possible yet then again I wasn't there, so we may never know what happened."
"He thinks a demon is responsible for his daughter's disappearance but not in the way you'd expect.
He thinks that, the demon that was in his home, the same one that's in mine I suppose, did nothing to save her, so that's why he hates demons so much".
"Well that's certainly understandable but still my demon isn't like that.
Demons aren't at all what they seem to be and he can't seem to understand that."
I pretended this new bit of information about her demon didn't blow me away so I was casual and calm as I could be.
"So,you do have a demon after all?"
She spoke exactly what was on my mind.
"Well it's more of a Shadow than a actual demon. I've had this extra shadow probably ever since I was born.I remember the first time I saw it, I was 7 years old.
People told me it was a bad omen, a mark of evil, others said it was some form of schizophrenia but after all the therapy, the doctors and the drugs had no effect on me, I realized it was something that was real and I wasn't crazy, it really existed and I just grew tired of fighting it after while.
Mind you I've never embraced evil, I've never given it my soul, it doesn't possess me, it's more of a cloak that I wear, a cloak with personality."
"I don't think that's a demon Mansfield.
I think it just might be a curse or some sort of elemental ability perhaps."
"Oh it's no curse believe me and I've consulted a few shamans, a few priests here and there, a occasional pastor but they all came up with the same thing, they couldn't remove it no matter what prayers, chants or spells they used on me."
"Then maybe whatever is attracted to you isn't actually evil.
Does the shadow help you in any way?"
"Oh yes, I have a whole Career because of it, that shadow scooped me off the streets and dumped me here, it helped me build my life here at the studio.
I was literally nobody before I came to Frolock Studios.
So naturally when I saw Sidney in the same situation, you know going through the recycling and wishing you didn't exist, I had to scoop him up as well.
It's amazing what a little kindness will do but Sidney is too stubborn to see this, he doesn't understand that this shadow demon has improved my life and if it weren't for this shadow I wouldn't have shown him any kindness on that day and no mercy would be spared.
I owe all I have and all that I am to this shadow.
It hurts that he can't grasp that.
It hurts having to hide something that's so vitally essential to my being.
It's like having to hide an arm because someone doesn't believe I was born with two of them.
It's so incredibly painful which is why I have the scars to prove it.
I suppose in a way I wanted to prove to him that I was hurting but it wasn't to punish him, it was just in hopes that he'd finally see my pain."
"I hope this isn't too personal but have you had a history with you know the scars?"
"Well What else is there to do at at Morningside? I think you should know since you've been there enough times".
I kept my voice cheerful and I wore a friendly smile so she wouldn't think I was being morbid or condescending.
"Yeah there's not much to do there. I was actually pretty fortunate, honestly looking back, I really was one of the lucky ones, there was a certain doctor there that took a shine to me.
Dr. Chesso he was called around there.
He was pleasant, a little odd but he was never unkind to me...at least not directly".
"Chesso, Chesso, Chesso.
I know that name.
Oh yes I remember him.
He was never assigned to me but he was cordial enough.
He used to run the place from what I heard, he's since retired.
He apparently before his retirement had put a lot of money into that facility, so he had a lot of say in what was done in that place.
I don't want to be a downer but from what I've heard he's not exactly what be seems to be, I mean I can't trust the rumors obviously but from what I've gathered from all the misinformation is that he's a bit off his rocker.
There were a few cases of abuse that popped up here and there but none of the reports even made it to court. It's the strangest thing actually, most of the people that have come forward have somehow just disappeared.
A couple of them were found later but they were just living their life out happily as if they never had met Dr. Chesso ever in their life.
There's a lot of conspiracies behind his name but not much makes sense and it really doesn't seem worth the time to sift through all the lies just to get to the truth especially with all those disappearances.
It's best not to get involved you know?"
"So you're just going to allow him to live out his life happy and free, without any consequences?"
"Why what did he do...that was so terrible?"
"He just so happens to be a close friend of Dirk Wastrum.
He is worse than even Wastrum himself.
He admitted to me he wasn't even a real doctor.
He just has plenty of money and lots of connections.
His connections are so influential apparently it's allowed him to even be above the law, I am however thankful that he took interest in me because if he hadn't I probably would have come back with a few scars myself".
"Scars that on our the skin, those can heal but scars on the brain and scars on the heart rarely heal that well, sometimes they never heal at all.
So I wouldn't say you were fortunate or lucky, abuse is abuse regardless if it leaves any marks or not.
The worst pains in the world are the ones people can't see."
"Yes that's certainly true.
I'm wondering um...wow this awkward and it's rather hard to say but can I see them?
Can I see the scars? I know it's weird that I'm asking that but may be it would make you feel more comfortable around me cause I have this feeling that you still fear I'm going to judge you.
I'm not, I mean I did things in that place that I'm not proud of either. So you don't have to be afraid. I'm friends with a demon too and I don't see any problem with it. Honestly you can trust me".
"I know I can rely on you.I have no doubt about it but... I'm curious what did you do in there that was sooo terrible?
Did you distribute weapons or alcohol in there?"
I tried to make a joke to lighten the dark atmosphere that had settled within the car.
"No, I just injured a few of the staff.
Let's say there are a few people out there that have PTSD permanently because of me."
"Oh really? Should I be scared?"
I grinned at her rather jauntily.
"No, not unless you come at me with a straight jacket and a bottle of Benzos".
"Those orderlies were rather rough around the edges. Seriously the staff in that place were no saints, they left people with permanent PTSD all the time, so you shouldn't feel too ba
They're just a bunch of thugs anyway.
What can I say sometimes Karma is a person".
"Oh I suppose I'm the Karma huh?"
"Yes I suppose you are. Here".
I non chalantly held out my wrist, without even looking back at her since I didn't want take my eyes off the road just yet.
However I wasn't able to calculate the proximity of my arm to her face so I took her by surprise as my wrist was right in front of her nose.
"Oh...Um... you didn't have to."
She positioned my wrist so it was level with her eyes and it wasn't right on top of her face.
"I know but I want to. There they are.
What do you think?"
I yet again had that overly sugary decorum. I sounded like I was asking her if she enjoyed the taste of pistachio ice cream.
"Well they really aren't that bad. Are they permanent?"
"Yes some of them are, the rest are either fresh or they have faded over time."
I frowned and looked down at the pedals of the van and I was very close to taking my arm back so I could steer better.
However something rather unexpected almost distracted me to the point that I nearly swerved right off the road.
Instead I pulled over onto abandoned intersection, it was no doubt a road that lead to a old mill of some sort.
I gasped as I struggled to hold onto to the steering wheel as I felt the delicious sensation of wet warm tulips falling upon my skin.
She perceptibly and exspertly touched every single of my scars with her lips.
"I'm sorry... I'll stop now".
I could hear the unmistakable heaviness of guilt in her voice.
Once I pulled over, I took my thumb and settled it lovingly under her chin.
"No, it's fine, you don't have to be sorry and You don't have to stop but next time wait for me to pull over.
I almost swerved off the road".
We were silent for a great while.
I caught my breath so I could recover from all the commotion.
"You know it's kind of crazy, it's only been a month but I feel I've known you my whole life.
I know that sounds not only crazy but really really creepy, especially since I'm your boss and all. It's just from the very moment I met you I just had this overwhelming feeling of deja vu.
It's like I've met you before, It's almost as if my soul knows you somehow. Oh well I suppose I'm just being ridiculous."
"No you're not being ridiculous. I'm the one being ridiculous. I don't even know why I...did that.
It's very unlike me.
We should Just forget about it and keep driving."
"Yes keep driving, good idea but I don't think I can forget any of this."
"Okay then why aren't you driving?"
I realized I was just lazily gazing at the road while smiling like the sun was too bright but I was still trying to pretend I was enjoying myself.
"Um well...I have a confession to make.
I have certain feelings for you".
"Yes I know, Sidney informed me of that. So you have a crush on me, I get it but now what?"
"Oh so he told you it was a crush.
Typical of him, Good old Sid, always sctatching the surface but never acknowledging there's a huge ass iceberg underneath him. You know it's not just a crush, I really think it might be serious, that it's more than just a mere infatuation.
I believe I may be in love with you Splendor".
I felt the dread and fear clump up painfully in my throat.
The silence was killing me.
I wanted to die because the anticipation was so intense it was making my insides feel like they were being pulled right out of my body.
The anxiety was back again I see.
I saw her emerald gaze grow dark and demure as if to say "Yes you can take me home tonight".
Where were these cheap thought coming from?
"So is that a yes?"
I just wanted to double check if she approved of my affection towards her.
"A yes to what?" She had a wide eyed innocent bewilderment on her face.
"Yes as in you might go to dinner with me like... tonight perhaps".
"Oh...um...yes...I could do that.
After work right?"
"Well yes, work usually comes first, its top priority after all.
You can come...home with me if you'd like...ehem sorry I mean I'll take you home... I don't want to give you the wrong idea.
I don't know why that came out of my mouth.
You know what, why don't you forget I said any of this?"
"Do you want me to come home with you?"
"To my place? No that would be totally inappropriate.
Then people will know that we're seeing each other which may become bad publicity later sooooo... yeah we should just wait... let's pass on that.
We're Just getting to know eachother... I don't want to rush... anything just yet."
I saw her steadily approach me, creeping in like a some sort of preying mantis, her palms open, arms extended.
I wanted to run but there was no way to run since I was still in the car so I remained seated because I was still rather keen and curious of what would happen next.
She embraced me and cleverly she slid onto to my lap while keeping her arm around me.
"Do you like this?"
I loved how soulful and pure her voice was, it was full of wisdom amd innocence sort of like she was pretending she didn't know how to please a man.
"Yes I do surprisingly. Have you done this before?"
I grinned at her sort of sneakily but I didn't realize how insensitive I was to say such a thing.
"I have actually."
Her body drooped and nearly went immobile.
A foggy green poison seeped into her eyes, they were morbid and resentful, I almost wanted to cry for her but those eyes weren't just melancholy they were becoming murderous as well.
"I'm sorry that was insensitive of me to ask. I was just being facetious.
Did Chesso have anything to do with it or was it one of the orderlies?"
"Chesso was known to be rather handsy but he didn't have much of a reputation for sexual harassment at least not as good a reputation as Wastrum has in the past.
The orderlies were either Predators, perverts or pedophiles.
Chesso often would hire unregistered sex offenders to work on his staff, he had some agreement with them that if they worked with him a certain number of years he'd have the charges dropped for them.
So yes I had to perform certain sexual acts for the staff just to get by and sometimes if Chesso was in a particularly dark mood he would personally request I give some of the staff certain favors and services.
It's all sort of a blur now but I do remember the feelings that flooded through me in those moments.
It's funny how people say that memories come back in a series of image but my brain doesn't work like it, it just remembers the smells, the sounds and the emotions that ate me alive everyday."
"How about your Uncle has he ever done anything to you?"
"No, he's mostly a emotionally scarring sort of fellow.
He doesn't go for physical stuff he likes stabbing you with words and injuring your soul in the process.
Emotional damage, the scars that never heal you know.
He's funny like that".
"I don't see anything funny about that. You've just described to me that you've been both sexually and emotionally abused most of your life.
That's not right, you should never had to go through that, Come here".
I held her closer but she attempted to push herself away from me.
"I don't want your pity."
Her voice dropped so many octaves I thought for a moment I had a demon on my hands.
"Oh Splendor this isn't pity, this is genuine compassion and grief for you and your past.
Pity is when you don't have enough empathy to feel someone else's pain.
I feel it, Splendor, I feel your pain".
"Maybe I don't want you to feel my pain.
Maybe for once in my life I want someone who sees me for who I am now rather than who I was in my past".
"I've never seen you as your past, I've seen you as the present allows.
I see you as you are now, I see your soul and I don't care what you've done in the past, that has no reflection on who you really are inside.
You are much more than how you were treated Splendor".
"You really are too perfect, you know that.
You say all the right things, you do all the right things, you always have a smile on your face like you have no concept of what a cloudy day is.
You are just pure sunshine all the time.
I'm not like that, I'm like Sidney, I'm dark, sardonic, I'm morbid, melancholy and in a way I have a little poison in me".
"Nobody thinks you are dark or melancholy.
I don't think that and everybody remembers you right after they've met you unlike Grumpy old Sidney.
You are nothing like him, Splendor.
He's a vampire for one thing and you're somewhat human, let's go with mostly human, since you are some kind of a enchantress of sorts, you move things with your mind, you can tame evil spirits and you can see into the future as well as seeing secret conversations that you're not supposed to hear but nevermind that, better you than anybody else.
You see the best in people like I do, Sidney doesn't see the good in anything. He has to break everything apart and question it, study it and psychoanalyze it until he's blue in the face, he can't just accept something as being good or pure and I don't blame him, he's had a lot of people do him wrong, he's been taken advantage, he's been tricked, bamboozled and fooled by many a soul. It's sad and tragic but Vampires don't have it all figured out.
You'd think they would after all eternity but they struggle just like everybody else.
My point is you aren't cursed or touched by darkness, look at me I have a shadow attached to me 24/7, I'm not touched, dark or disturbed, so you're fine.
I mean it's really a miracle that you are as sane and civil as you are now, most become hard and bitter with all the things you've been through.
You are very fortunate that people enjoy your company like I am right now".
"I don't know if other people enjoy my company".
"You want me to to show you security footage the next time you take a day off?
You might be surprised, people will ask about you and people will notice that you're gone."
"Next time? I've never taken a single day off so there can't very well be a next time."
"Well let's experiment, next time you find yourself at home, call my office, tell me you're going to take the day off, I'll consent and the next time you come back to work I'll show you the security footage and I'll report whatever else happened that day that wasn't shown on camera".
"I think I'll pass thank you".
"Oh you'll pass on a actual day off.
Wow, most employers don't even give their employees sick days, do you want a whole week off?
Would that make it better?"
"No I don't want to pass on that, just the security footage stuff.
I don't need you to prove to me how much everyone likes me.
I'm just having a dark moment thats all".
"Oh well we all have those moments yet you are not the darkness Splendor, you've just been through dark times.
We all have one way or another.
Ooooh is this about your little spat with Sidney?"
"I didn't have a spat with Sidney, you did, Remember.
He was grouchy and grumpy, you saw the dark looks he gave me in the parking lot, he doesn't like me and frankly that bothers me".
"He does like you, he's just going through a rough patch right now.
Today was the day his daughter went missing.
So he's not feeling his best today.
Go easy on him.
He's a old man, he has many fragile and brittle parts, parts that have never been fixed.
He's been through some dark times just like you, he's fighting the darkness right now as we speak and
he's just not as good at hiding it as you are.
Give him time and he'll bounce back, you'll see".
"Oh I didn't realize. Perhaps I misjudged him.
I'll give him another chance of course, for your sake, I'll wait and I'll be patient, yet I wish you wouldn't tell him about Dr. Chesso and the rest of the staff.
I'd die of embarrassment if he knew".
"Alright, Alright, I won't tell him. I don't tell him everything if you must know. I keep a few things private, Like these scars for instance and I kept my shadow a secret from him for the longest time.
You're secret is safe with me".
I didn't realize how dishonest those words were going to be especially in the future; my heart had meant it, my mind was set on it but someone had other plans and those plans weren't made by me.