AN: So, yeah, something a little shorter, but it's fun, and fluffy, because too much drama is a bad thing. Us writers need a breather too. And also thanks to those of you who follow, favourite, and review this story. You're the reason I'm still writing strong.
Work. Eat. Sleep. That's been my routine for the past week. I haven't managed to find time to tell Joan more of our story, and I'm sorry about that. You could always come to her in a dream, you know that, right? Anyway, what's kept me so busy? We've been rebuilding a filler over at Naveen's factory. 64 filler heads, all with about two dozen pieces that need cleaning, inspection, and repair. Kristoff's had it worse than me, what with organizing the entire job. Me, him, and Maurice—Audrey stayed at the workshop, welding everything together for the new frames. It's gonna look totally awesome though, just you wait.
I have to blink as a hand waves in front of my eyes, and Joan chides me for drifting off again. I've got to stop doing that. Yeah, like that's gonna happen. Anyway, it's story time again, and Joan is snuggled down underneath the covers. Tina's in a sleeping bag on the floor, and she'll be getting this part of the story direct from the source—apparently Joan has been telling her everything anyway. Well, it's annoying, but if my suspicions are right, they should have role models like us.
"Tina, are you even awake down there?" All I get in reply is half a snore. I guess not then. Joan can tell her later. Maybe it's better that way.
The radio is on in the background again, playing some older music that I swear must be… it is—Nothing Else Matters. And there we go, Joan's put it on the classic rock station I like. I'm starting to wonder if she secretly likes it as well, given how often I'm hearing it now.
"Come on, mom, you just left Lefou—umm, I think. Did you see auntie Elsa too?"
"I did, and I still didn't get my jacket back."
—∞—
I managed to make it just before the end of visiting hours. There was an accident somewhere and traffic backed up pretty bad—even the insanity of the average taxi driver couldn't get through this one. I had maybe an hour to talk to my Jane Doe. Still no ID, but they were trying to match her to medical records now. It was all so messed up, and I had no idea what do, aside from apologize for hitting her with my bike.
I hobbled in on my crutches, and she was awake this time. She turned to me, frowning, as if she wanted to yell at me to leave, but then she rolled onto her back, facing the ceiling. I wasn't sure if it was permission or just trying to ignore me, but I made my way to the chair next to her bed and sat down. My crutches slipped from my hands with a loud clatter and I heard the blonde cursing in a language that was clearly not English. Had her stonewalling the other day actually been a lack of comprehension? But no, she had spoken English with only the barest hint of an accent.
"I'm sorry," I'd said it, just like Hans ordered me to, but it felt empty. I meant it, but I could hardly comprehend the enormity of what I'd caused. "I ruined your life."
She didn't reply, just turned to frown at me. I think she was trying to burn me with her eyes. It did feel kinda warm, but in all the wrong ways.
"I ruined your life, and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hit you with my bike. I'm sorry I broke your leg. I'm sorry, and I don't even know your name and I know sorry isn't enough but I just don't know what to say, okay? I just had to say sorry, or… or I'd be so hurt if anything happened. And I'm sorry I'm talking too much too. I'll be quiet now. I'll go away, you don't have to say anything." I sighed heavily, reaching for my crutches, straining to get up. "You can keep my jacket. I won't be needing it without a license."
"Thank you." She smiled at me. That smile, she was so beautiful when she smiled, I just wanted to see her do it again and again until her face cracked from smiling so much. She didn't ask me to stay, so I headed for the door. I stopped on an impulse, and thought about leaving my number on a scrap of paper on the stand by her bed. How would she get in touch with me? And what if Hans got to the phone first? Maybe it was best I didn't. I never wanted Hans to get anywhere near her. I was afraid he'd try to do to her what he always did to me. I closed the door to her room quietly behind me, wishing things could have been different.
That night I told Hans what I'd done and I got nothing out of him. At least he didn't hit me this time. I also told him I'd seen Lefou—I didn't mention anything of what I'd learned about Gaston. For that I got a quick kiss and a 'well done'. But all I could think about was that woman's smile—and ask myself why it was affecting me. I'd never really thought of another woman in that way, but somehow, with her, it was different. Maybe it was the mystery surrounding her. No name, no relatives, no one else in her life but the doctors; and me. I don't why I was drawn to her, but I was; same goes for why I wanted so badly to protect her.
I just didn't know.
—∞—
"Wow, auntie Elsa really didn't like you, did she?" Joan half mumbles from under the covers.
"Baby, you gotta remember it was only two days ago that I'd hit her with my bike," I let out a soft chuckle. "She needed time to forgive me; I needed time to work out the right things to say."
I can hear Tina snoring on the far side of the room, and Joan giggles. Sometimes I don't know what to do with them, but Joan's growing up, and I like to think she's a good influence on her friends. She is; I raised her properly. You'd be proud of me for that, right, Elsa? Yeah, I'm talking to shadows again, but I'm still not convinced you've left us completely.
"'night mom." Then Joan reaches out to turn off the lamp, plunging the room into darkness. I bang my shin against something as I turn, cursing softly. "Oh, be careful," she chides me. Yeah, right. I can't see a damn thing.
"Just try not to stand on Tink." I roll my eyes as I hear sniggering coming from beneath the blankets on our daughter's bed. She's got your grace, but in the dark she's just as clumsy as me. I make it to the door without encountering any other obstacles and I close it softly behind me, not wanting to wake Tina. It's the first time her parents have let her stay the night on a school night. I certainly don't want to be responsible for anything untoward happening.
I take a quick shower, then slip into bed with Kristoff. We're both pretty beat after today, but it's nice to just cuddle sometimes. He's already half asleep, but he wraps his arms around me as I nestle into his chest. It feels safe here, and he has this subtle scent—which I still swear is reindeer, and he says is just woods-y. Doesn't matter, it's all warm and fuzzy and before long I'm asleep. I dream about you, Elsa, and it's a long time since that's happened. I feel disappointed in myself, but I'm not sure if it's because I have let you go, or because there are parts I haven't.
We don't wake up until morning tea, but that's fine. After finishing Naveen's machine we deserve a day off. Sometimes it's good being married to the boss. Of course, that's only when we wake up. We don't manage to leave the room until after eleven. What? We're both consenting adults. I swear I can see your blush, the way the sun's shining through the curtains right now. Moments like this I know you're still up there, somewhere, watching out for us. So thanks.
Joan and Tina are on the couch when we finally make it downstairs. Joan's cheeks are flushed, and Tina's very carefully looking anywhere but at us. Surely we didn't make that much noise. I glance over my shoulder at Kristoff and he offers me a lop-sided, chagrined smile. Well, this is awkward.
"Mom, you didn't have to say it." I can hear Kristoff facepalming behind me, and I swear if Tina goes any paler she's going to faint.
"We can neither confirm nor deny that what you heard is what you think you heard." At which point I facepalm, Joan throws her face against the cushions and Tina falls off the couch. Well done, Reindeer King. You just told them exactly what happened.
It's going to be very difficult to salvage anything like my dignity from this, so I just leave. At least that can't make things any worse. I make myself a coffee. Ever since that entirely unrelated incident in 2021 I've only been allowed decaf. It's not like I really need the extra energy, even if I have problems trying to be a morning person. Now you, you were a morning person. I think that was the first breakthrough we made, right? Like the third or fourth morning I came to visit? Yeah, I'll tell Joan about it when Tina leaves this afternoon—teacher only day at school, the other reason her parents let her stay the night.
The rest of the day actually goes pretty well, it's a nice, lazy day for us, sitting on lawn chairs in the afternoon sun, watching Joan and Tina acting out a few scenes from their favourite movies. Dragons' still cracks me up, every time. Especially when Tina tries to ride Joan, both of them falling flat on their faces, laughing too hard to get up. I look away just a little, because Tina's brushing platinum hair out of my daughter's eyes, and I know what normally comes next—what came next with us. Joan mumbles something about never talking to her again if she kisses her in front of me. She does it anyway, sitting on Joan's chest like she just brought down some mighty beast. Joan's scowling and Tina's got a stupid grin plastered across her face. I can hear her triumphant whisper carried on the wind.
"Worth it."
