Chapter 8: Faded Memories
When the night ends, it's not over
We fight through to get closer
Like a silver bullet piercing through
I throw myself into you
Titania
He was walking all alone now, the distant sounds of chatter and the ocean waves lost to him. Too many things weighed heavily on his mind and despite the reassurances of his new friends, they rang hollow. It wasn't right to think of it that way and yet here he was. Lost in a haze of his own making. The purpose for his arrival in this world, even if he had a purpose at all, was gone. He had been content. Play his role, help these people with their problems, play the role of a hero for once. Invested into starting anew and now, he had to re-evaluate much.
Even now, he wasn't sure if he was wandering around in a stupor. The corridors of the Island Prison that served as their base was the same as ever. He knew this place, but he wasn't really thinking about where he was going. A turn here, a restless wait in a random corner… and yet he hadn't met anyone of note either. Most were sleeping now of course, even that serpentine lady who took a liking to that smaller Therion girl here. They were all resting and ready for the days ahead.
Eyes half-closed, he wandered the halls and corridors dimly aware of his surroundings. How long must that have gone on before he somehow found his way outside? The sound of the ocean waves and the howling of the wind. He was atop one of the prison's towers now, an open area that didn't normally have anyone around this late at night. And yet, with his eyes half-open, the sight that suddenly awaited him was nearly blinding.
A Silver Dragon, shining and brilliant. It lay immobile ahead and then… he woke up.
Or at least, he thought he woke up. He was still atop the tower and ahead of him were two surprised and confused figures, Eleanor and Phi.
"Why am I…?" he paused and blinked, "Was it you who called me here?" Ragna murmured, not quite believing what had happened.
The two were on him in an instant with worried expressions on their faces.
"Are you okay? Did something happen?" asked Eleanor.
"Were you looking for someone?" Laphicet wondered.
The shock of how quickly they approached made him step back in surprise, breaking his reverie as he looked from one to the other. Ragna shook his head, and allowed himself a small smile.
"I'm fine. Thanks for the concern though." He replied, "Not sure if I was looking for someone in particular but it feels like I just woke up."
"Normally we see you hanging out with Rokurou or Velvet. This is a surprise." The girl said, though with a worried expression on her face. "I can only imagine that you're not feeling the best right now however, so don't push yourself."
"Who said anything about pushing? I'm just looking for places where I can rest."
Ragna shifted around a bit and sat back against the wall. Sure, there were probably more comfortable areas to be at but it almost felt undeserved if he just goes to a soft bed right now.
Phi was still looking at him, the boy's gaze intense and nearly withering.
"What is it, kid? I told you, I'm fine."
"Ah, no it's not that. It's just… have we met before? Before all this?" he asked.
Ragna raised an eyebrow. "Odd question, but I don't think so. At least, not that I recall. And it's not like there's any major gap in my memory that needs work right now." He replied. He wasn't a hundred percent sure that was the case but try as he might, such thoughts seem to pop up often. Things he'd rather not bring up.
"Oh… I see. But ummm, it may be a bit personal, but could I ask you a question Mister Ragna?" the kid asked again.
Curious little Malakhim ain't he? He wasn't going to deny the request though, given how he had nothing to hide. He nodded his head.
"I asked this to the others before but, do you remember your parents Mister Ragna?"
Now that was a question that came out of nowhere. "I told you guys I was most likely a Malak, right? Didn't Eizen say we don't have familial relations like that?" Ragna responded.
Phi replied with a shake of his head. "Even if that were the case, it seems like you still have memories of a past life of sorts. After hearing that Velvet, Kamoana, and Eleanor all lost their parents, I just got curious. Eizen said that sometimes humans can be reborn as Malakhim, but retaining one's memory before that time is rare or near impossible. You must truly be special if you've managed that."
Ragna scratched the back of his head. "Can't argue with that but… let's see. My past… Ragna's past." He paused for a moment in deep thought.
"Even back then, I don't think I knew my parents. I had a brother and a sister, but we were raised by someone we saw as our mother I guess. She was sweet and kind, though as with most things, fate conspired to create tragedies that took her away from us." Ragna answered. "Sister Celica was her name and well... she had a bad sense of direction." He chuckled.
"Celica…" Eleanor murmured, "Wait, isn't that the name of…"
"Velvet's dead sister? Yeah, I know. It's an odd coincidence that the people who raised us shared the same name but we've no relation there, trust me. Honestly, it's probably why I'm worried about Velvet a lot of the time. The pain in her eyes that she keeps trying to hide from everyone? I know that look all too well."
"Velvet does seem to tie us all together doesn't she?" Eleanor said. "But we're not alone. We're all here for each other, even for you, Ragna. So don't feel like you have to do things alone too."
"I didn't say I was going to do things alone. Besides, it's nice to have actual people giving me support for a change. Just need to make the most of what I have." He answered.
"Hmmm… it's a good motto to live by as Eizen would say." Said Phi. "Do you think we could also help your sister with her problems too? I know you two don't have the best of relationships but still…"
"That's a separate can of worms." He sighed, "Honestly, I'm not sure what we're supposed to do against someone like her. My family can get a bit complicated so let me handle it if she appears before us, alright?"
"If there was a way to resolve it without further conflict, then it would be the ideal result." Phi nodded his head.
"Heh, don't lose that hope, kid. That's the kind of thing that makes the world a better place, no matter how cruel it gets." Ragna replied with a smile.
"A lesson we have to be vigilant in following. Your words of wisdom are always welcome, Ragna." Eleanor nodded her head.
He… was grateful for this. All of it, actually. To be able to express his thoughts and concerns without fear of being judged and to give out his own advice whenever he felt like it, such things were a luxury that the old him never got the chance to experience in full. Had he been a more emotional person, he may even have had a tear in his eye.
"Can't save the world by yourself. Velvet may think that this is all about revenge but we'll show her won't we?" he nodded.
"Show me what, exactly?"
"…Guh!"
Ragna froze up as Velvet emerged from the shadow of the stairs.
"How long have you been listening in?" asked Eleanor.
"Long enough. I need to take Phi to see Grimoirh, you're fine with that, yes?" Velvet looked at Eleanor.
The girl nodded as Phi began to follow Velvet back down the tower.
"And Ragna…?" Velvet looked back at him. "…We need to talk later. Wait until I get back."
He sighed and tilted his head up. "Hope I'm not in trouble…" he murmured and then opened one eye to glance at Eleanor. "Not gonna join them?"
"Hmmm, I should. But my curiousity gets the better of me sometimes. Now I find myself wondering about your own origins." Eleanor replied as she straightened out her clothing. "As you know, I wasn't originally a part of the group. I was even their enemy not too long ago. It took a while for me to see them as more than that. To think that someone like you remains strong in your convictions despite everything that has happened, I can only imagine what you must have experienced. Or…learned in your past life."
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Didn't we just talk about my past just seconds ago?"
"Yes, but with very little details! Without anything specific, I'm left to fill in the blanks of how things could have gone. What your occupation was, the types of friends you had, your love life…?" she wondered.
"Now you're just making me nostalgic. Trying to move forward is difficult enough when my past keeps coming back to me." He said with a chuckle, "But I guess it's understandable. I'll acknowledge them, but not run from them. So, what do you wanna know first?"
"Your love life." Eleanor replied, her face smiling innocently at him.
"Oookay, I know you mentioned that but geez, why that one first?" he replied, his own face looking just slightly irritated compared to his more amused expression earlier.
"I… actually blame Bienfu on this, sorry. He mentioned that you tend to mutter things in your sleep and that it usually involves the name of a girl." She said with a nervous chuckle.
"When I get my hands on that Normin, I'm gonna squeeze the stuffing out of him." He shook his head.
"Also, I'm sure you've noticed ever since Hellawes, but Velvet is fond of you. I don't think she's ever this concerned about anyone other than Laphicet. It borders on possessive sometimes, but Rokurou told me that we should encourage it. It's just that… if there is someone waiting for you back where you're from, then it would be understandable if you don't return the affection."
"We're not…" Ragna rubbed his forehead with his fingers. Battles he could just take on in a physical confrontation were no problem, but talking like this gave him a sense of worry. Every time he opened his stupid mouth, people may just get the wrong idea of where he stood.
"The girl I left behind…" he started as he breathed in deep. If he kept this hidden away, the curiosity will just get the better of them. And while he probably did mention her in his dreams, said dreams aren't exactly calming or a good way to reminisce. No, at times it could be confusing, as if there was something else lurking in the back of his mind.
He continued on, "…Rachel, she was... a vampire. We argued a lot and are always getting on each other's nerves. Well, she always got on my nerves at least. But it's like I always welcomed it, as if her presence was preferable to so many others. At the end of everything, I… or rather, the Ragna that I was, finally caught a glimpse of her memories, her true feelings and… I distanced myself from her. All memories she had of me, I took away. By all rights, no one should even remember me there anymore."
"But… why? Why would you do that?" Eleanor wondered, a hand on her mouth as she stood there deep in thought.
"Because I wanted to give them a world they could call their own, without my presence ruining it. Not just her, but my brother, my sister… everyone who knew me. I'd try to explain more but… it'd just get more confusing." He sighed.
"Yet despite all the burden you've placed on yourself, you continue to come to our aid. Personal matters aside, you've never let us down and you're always willing to risk yourself first even if it means getting in harm's way. A hero, in more ways than one." Eleanor nodded.
Hero? Nah, he was never really that. If anyone was a hero, it'd be his brother. He hoped they were doing well though. "Don't flatter me too much. After all, the Abbey called me a calamity too, not a hero." He smirked.
"You know what they say, one person's villain could be someone else's hero."
"Is that an actual saying?"
"Well, I may have made that up. But it's the message that's the point!" exclaimed Eleanor. "Also, you mentioned a vampire. I see, so that's the kind of being you're drawn towards…" she closed her eyes nodded to herself.
"The hell does that mean?" he frowned.
"Nothing important. Ah… but I really shouldn't keep you waiting here in the dark. Besides, Velvet wishes to talk to you later doesn't she? I'll go check and see if they've finished speaking with Grimoirh." Eleanor nodded.
As they headed back inside, Ragna reflected upon their conversation and the events leading up to it. He had been sleepwalking, or something resembling it. He hadn't spoken of the vivid image he saw of a Silver Dragon but it must have been something important if it were to just randomly appear in his mind like that. A question for another time. Maybe he should have gone with Velvet to see that Normin, Grimoirh?
No, best to let their issues be dealt with first rather than his own. There'd be plenty of time later on.
He parted ways with Eleanor near the dock exit while he himself headed back outside. Sitting himself atop a crate, he closed his eyes and focused on what lay ahead. Saya is still out there, he could feel it despite not knowing why. But was the kid right? Was there a way to resolve this issue without any further conflict? She's still working with the Abbey, or at least under their thrall. If that were the case, conflict with Velvet's enemies would be inevitable.
"Their issues first. Then you." He told himself, holding the Aramasa out as it transformed into a scythe, its blade drawing energy from his arm before he retracted it once more.
Ragna held out his other hand then, focused on the edge of the dock and began to chant. "Lightning Condense…Thunder Blade!"
Nothing. Not even a spark or anything to imply that his attempt at spellcasting had some success. Observation was one thing, but maybe he really did need formal training for something like that? Was worth a shot though, and he was hesitant in asking Magilou to be his instructor in such matters. Of course, that didn't mean he should just give up after one try. He held out his hand once more and focused.
"Lightning, come forth!" Nothing.
"Strike it down!" Nothing.
"Heavensward blade of light!" Nothing.
"Ride the Lightning!" Nothing.
He slumped over and lowered his hand. His affinity to it must be super low indeed to be unable to produce even a simple spark. And he wasn't exactly smart enough to form the types of technologies that the Red Devil used for magnetism and other electrical devices.
He heard the gate open and Ragna turned his head, visibling tensing as Velvet headed outside. Eleanor would have told her he'd be waiting here.
"Just missed my training. I almost got a spell to work successfully," he said as she sat atop an adjacent crate.
"This late at night?"
He shrugged as he sat down, looking on at the ocean ahead of them. The moon was half-full so it provided enough light in the area.
For a moment, they were silent, content on just sitting there with nothing to do. He was normally used to being in this kind of situation, but having someone around doing the exact same thing unnerved him just a little.
"You said you wanted to talk?" he finally asked, turning towards her.
One foot was on the ground, her other leg was raised up and bent at the knee so she held it close to herself. Velvet seemed to be deep in thought but it didn't look like she was upset or anything.
"We haven't talked at all after you fought with your sister." She said.
"Huh? Well, yeah but it's not that big a deal. I survived didn't I?" Ragna replied.
"I'm not concerned about your battle. I'm concerned of what happened before." She replied, golden-brown eyes now glaring up at him. "You willingly stayed behind, alone, surrounded by an entire group of our enemies. You had no guarantee that you could survive all that!"
"H-hey, ease up, alright? Magilou was with me wasn't she? And besides, things ended up just fine…" he answered.
"Are you listening to me? I know you're not from around here so it's troubling to have the Abbey after you! First of all, why did it even end up that way? All of us could have broken through if we needed to. I know I told you to do as you wish, but what if things had gone wrong? What if you were captured? Do you have any idea how worried we were?"
"I mean, I knew they were bad news, but they really weren't anything I couldn't handle."
"-! Then you should have found a way to escape earlier! Not only that, but they managed to injure you by the time you were waiting at the Docks. It's like you're telling me you're not even feeling any pain from what happened! What's wrong with you? Why would you push yourself that hard?!"
The fact that she was this upset was not something he expected. When she wanted to talk, he didn't realize it was about his actions in Hellawes. She didn't even bring it up on the way back here.
But well, he really wasn't in a lot of pain and -
"…It's more painful for you, right?" he replied.
That's why he was willing to offer himself up so the others could get away. Staying to fight meant the others would put themselves at risk and he didn't want any of them dealing with someone who had it out for him specifically. Velvet herself didn't need that added burden.
Her eyes were wide and she stopped talking. But her gaze was intense and Ragna couldn't help but feel it was making him wither. She wiped her face like she made a mistake and then turned away.
"Ah…" that wasn't good. He can't think of anything to say after that. That was…
"I can't believe it…" she murmured. "When did I start…?"
"Wait, are you crying?" Ragna said and began to stand.
"Sit down. Just sit down for now." She ordered.
She wasn't going to let him object so he did just that.
"And turn your back to me. Don't turn around otherwise I'll get mad if you get a look at my face."
He sighed. With nothing better to do, all he could really do was sit there and stare up at the night sky.
This was tough. How long had they been sitting like this? Eleanor's words came back to him and he briefly wondered if it had anything to do with that? Oh crap, did he say something wrong? How careful did he have to be when mentioning anything?
"You've always shined, you know?" she murmured.
Ragna heard it, but he had no response so all he could do was listen.
"Everytime you do something, I'm always finding it difficult not to compare myself to you. The things you've experienced, what you've lost, and why you keep fighting…" Velvet said, "…I can't imagine myself staying sane like you have so far."
"Don't compare yourself then." Ragna answered quietly. "You're you, that's all that matters. You said it yourself to Phi, and now I'm saying it to you."
He felt her lightly punch his back and he simply took it with an annoyed grunt.
"I'm afraid, Ragna. In my quest for vengeance, those around me are swallowed up by my ambition. But you… I don't want you to fall because of me."
"Just goes to show you're not doing all this for selfish reasons. You say you don't care about what happens, but your emotions show otherwise. Honestly, it's probably why I admire you. I tend to get distracted a lot whenever something new pops up." He shrugged.
Velvet was silent again and for a few minutes, they simply stayed in that position with their backs turned against each other. And then he felt her left hand reach back, taking hold of his right. The tension in the air was so thick one could cut through with a knife but both relaxed, Ragna returning the clasp of her hand with a gentle squeeze of his own.
"Don't leave. Promise me."
"I won't. You know I won't." he replied, the two of them eventually standing and then turned to face each other. Their hands still held each other's and they stared in silence. Both were awkward about this, Ragna knew that. Admiration and fondness was one thing he could admit and despite how hesitant he was to even pursue anything like this in the past, there was some relief knowing that Velvet felt similarly.
"I told you before that I didn't know if it felt right to feel this attached to anyone, didn't I?" Velvet said as she looked up at him. "So let me be greedy again, just for this moment."
"What do you –mm?!" Ragna's eyes widened as Velvet lunged forward with her mouth, their lips crashing. Her lips were soft, almost silken even and he stood frozen in surprise. To Velvet, his lips were warm as well and as they parted slightly in surprise, Velvet took the opportunity to allow her tongue to slip inside.
Velvet's kiss was all about taking. As if she was drawing something out of him with her little jabs as she wrapped both her hands around his head.
For his part, all he could really do was return the favor. He wasn't against this, not at all. And Ragna even found it enjoyable. Just that, the sheer passion of Velvet's action came as a surprise. When their lips parted, both were out of breath.
"That was… huh, I don't know what that was…" Ragna said, seemingly in a daze.
"I don't really have a sense of taste anymore. But it wasn't bad…" Velvet responded, her cheeks flushed.
"Yeah… not sure how I feel about you trying to get a taste. What am I, food?" Ragna frowned.
"Oh hush. You were enjoying it, I could tell."
"Not the point, but whatever. Maybe just a warning next time, please?"
"So you want a next time?"
"I mean… I wouldn't be against it. Just that if I had time to prepare, I'd probably have done better or something…"
"Hmmm," Velvet smiled and stepped back. "I'll hold you to that."
"Likewise," Ragna answered as he stared back at her. Perhaps they were being hasty with this, but it didn't really matter. He told her that he usually found himself getting distracted too often when in the presence of something new. But with this revelation, he was more confident in being focused. It's as if someone lodged a chair in his heart that can't be removed so easily. Not even by himself. Maybe his stomach instead. The nervousness he felt had been calmed somewhat, but uncertainty will always be there.
"Come on, let's head back inside. There'll be less prying eyes instead of out here." she said, leading the way back into the prison.
"We're sure everyone else was sleeping, right?" he replied as they passed the gate.
She shrugged in response. It didn't seem to be too important in her mind. "We'll be looking for another Earthpulse point tomorrow. Just rest for now."
"To the days ahead then." Ragna said and closed the gate behind them.
Skit: Ragna the Bloodedge
Rokurou: 'The Bloodedge' eh? It refers to the way his weapon trails red, right?
Eizen: No, no. It probably relates to his personality. Important titles aren't given out just because of an after-effect.
Rokurou: You sure about that? It sounds a little too specific to refer to personality traits.
Eleanor: What are you two on about?
Rokurou: Oh? Just the title of our best buddy. Magilou said that he used to just go by Ragna the Bloodedge. Not a last name or anything, so we're trying to figure out how important that title actually is.
Eizen: You wanna just call him 'The Bloodedge?' Because I doubt he'd appreciate that.
Rokurou: Of course not, but if we go to some place like a Coliseum or a tournament, each one of us would need a title to match that kind of grandeur.
Eleanor: When are we even going to find the time to do something like that? And besides, if you're curious, why not just ask him yourself?
Eizen: Not a bad idea. Where is he anyway?
Eleanor: Oh, he's out talking with Velvet at the docks.
Magilou: Ooh! Ooh! I wanna see! Listening to these two discuss nicknames is a drag.
Eizen: We're not going there. We're giving them some privacy, especially after what Ragna has gone through lately. You sit tight.
Magilou: Awwww….
