Powerless.
Brooklynn had always felt so powerless, and she couldn't name a reason, but here on this island the sensation returned to her in spades. It lingered at the back of her mind, a burning itch like a mound of fire ants crawling inside her skull, gnawing, biting, clawing to get free. The itch had became worse and worse, then as Ben stumbled, and it took everything in the girl to catch him it came to her. It was something she hadn't thought about in years, buried away and all but forgotten.
Her first brush with death...
Sitting in the back surrounded by the noisy crinkle of plastic bags, some country song belting over the radio Brooklynn bopped her head to the beat, legs swinging freely in the air. Her dad had picked her up from school and they'd gone grocery shopping right after. Munching happily on a bag of chips, her reward for being a good girl, she jammed to the music, only moderately inconvenienced by the marked slow in traffic, the minutes dragging on.
She hadn't minded the delay enjoying her time with daddy, he always treated her like the princess he said she was. Watching idly out of the car window counting streetlights as they rolled along, the girl caught sight of the flashing red and blue lights. Her curiosity piqued the girl smiled as she leaned forward to get a better view, recalling the police presence at the parade her parents had taken her to earlier in the year.
At first she had been disappointed, there were no floats, no marching bands, no balloons to be seen, only firetrucks, and police cars. They made no sound, idling beside a clump of vehicles lights flaring. Then as she peered closer Brooklynn's stomach knotted, heart seizing with an unnameable fear.
Outside of her window a fatal car accident met her young unassuming gaze, her mind trying to piece together what she was seeing and why. Her dad who had believed that the kindergartner spent from a long day at school had fallen asleep, made no effort to shield her as they cruised by slowly, traffic diverted as other drivers began to gawk and rubberneck. On the contrary little Brooklynn who was wide awake watched twisted metal, shattered glass, and the mangled horrors that were once human beings as they lay ejected from the cars or were cut from the wreckage.
In the weeks to come the horrific scene had festered in the girl's mind, questions ruminating until at last they'd manifested in a plague of nightmares. Comforted by parents and gently guided to the answers she sought through scriptures, and stories of guardian angels and heaven. Brooklynn was assured that regardless of the facts of life and death that she was going to be alright, and true to her parents' word she had been.
Brooklynn had, had a good life, the best life actually, a loving family that supported her in everything she did. One that got along in spite of differences that would have torn other families asunder, crumbling them down at their very foundations and snuffing what love there might have ever been. Encouraged and engaged no matter who's house she found herself in Brooklynn flourished. Creativity explored, academics tackled, school was a breeze, the girl was smart, the one thing she didn't like to brag about because it was the one thing that wasn't 'cool.' Yet at sixteen she already had several college credits under her belt. Quick as a whip with both wit and wisdom. Her life was damn near perfect back home.
Friends, the exception to the rule, were a different story however. Now matter how hard she tried she just seemed too different, stood apart, and unable to relate.
Girls liked to pretend to be her friend throughout middle school, made her feel accepted then would ask the smart girl to do things for them, only to whisper and spread rumors behind her back. They hadn't really been her friends. Rumors quickly spread about the pretty but socially ostracized girl, rumors of being a slut and seducing students and faculty alike, rumors that she was "retarded," and that was why she didn't quite fit in. "Autistic" was thrown around a lot, it embarrassed and inflamed the girl, but the more she looked into things the more they seemed to make sense. She kept these thoughts to herself.
Bullying, and depression, her entire academic career seemed hounded by bullying and depression.
That was what her therapist had said was the root cause of her problems. Brooklynn and her parents believed this, combatting these social problems and her eating disorder in tandem. Her peers never changed much, and as the girl had spent so much time in and out of the hospital the viscous lies about her only seemed to grow. Online schooling was without a doubt a better fit.
Then she started her channel in earnest assuming a charismatic mask to protect her from all the ugliness the world had to throw at her as she traveled with her dad. Then she gained her first dozen followers, and it felt like her voice mattered, she mattered. Finally people could see her, would listen to her, and striving to keep them happy, to keep them watching Brooklynn knew that, that was all that mattered.
Even now. Even here.
Stress, loss, and fear had torn the children apart. Over the past few days Brooklynn had felt like she was toeing an invisible line, Kenji hadn't really been talking to Darius, and Yasmina wasn't talking to Sammy leaving Brooklynn to field conversations between the warring factions. It was stressful and stirred an anxious irritability in her that wouldn't go away as she ferried messages back and forth, burdening the strain of the others' despair as it mingled calamitously with her own disquiet.
Now though? Now everything was good. Like, bizarrely good. It was sudden, and Brooklynn felt as though she had whiplash from it, but they found Ben fumbling around aimlessly with a bunch of dinosaurs and everything had changed. From crying and cheering in the elevator to making their way back to 608 the very atmosphere around the campers had altered. Kenji was smiling again, laughing even as he drug himself back into the room with Sammy's help, talking to the other boys as propped up against Darius and Brooklynn the two hauled Ben into their new found home.
Heat and a nauseating reek radiating off of him, Ben seemed worse for wear. He was on fire, everything in him seemed to move like it was broken, and listening to him try to speak squeezed Brooklynn's heart with a chilling terror. True helplessness had invaded her life since that first encounter with the Indominous Rex, and now seeing Ben like this it began creeping over her once more, the fire ants swarming across her entire body.
Nervously trying to drive them away she raised the camera, slipping into the lively persona she knew people expected of her, the one she used to protect herself from the world, "Well Brooklanders, believe it or not Ben survived his fall from the monorail! Like what?" she laughed, seafoam green eyes going wide with animated shock and surprise.
Pivoting the camera around she captured the grinning faces of her fellow campers as they all staggered and hobbled their way into the room the children had claimed for their own. Kenji offered a quiet thumbs up, which she returned. Yasmina though, was trying to squeeze past to the couch, her face scrunched tightly with concentration she assertively smacked the camcorder out of her way.
"We're all happy," Yaz panted. "But seriously?"
Her lips pressed together in a thin frustrated line Brooklynn looked at her, heart racing with irritation. "Yes seriously." she muttered, swinging the camera to capture the man-of-the-hour himself. "So, Ben, what was it like out there for nearly a week? Alone in the wild, bloodthirsty monsters on every side, no hope for survival? For all intents and purposes doomed?"
His blue eyes heavy Ben's gaze swiveled up to meet hers, "I j-just nnn-nnn I just want a shower..." he muttered, brow furrowed.
"No problem Ben!" Darius beamed, he cleared his throat then, passing the pink haired girl a meaningful look, his head shaking in slow tight movements from side to side. He was done with her too.
As Darius pivoted and the trio began making their way towards the master bathroom everyone seemed to be trying to talk all at once each teenager trying get a word in. Excitement roiling around the room, stirring in each of them in different but noticable ways as finally something good had happened for a change. Then the word 'helicopters' was posed by Yasmina from couch and the room exploded with a cacophony of celebration.
"Yeah, did you hear that?" Brooklynn squealed capturing the joyous moment on film, as her own heart raced with a victorious burst of elation. "They're coming back for us, we're going to be saved!"
Ben was quiet for a minute, as they paused at the bathroom doorway, his forehead creased, eyes searching before he finally dared ask, "Really?" in a timerous sob.
"Really!" Darius laughed from the other side half hugging him as the floor beneath their feet shifted from carpet to tile.
Depositing her camera on the edge of the sink Brooklynn held Ben aloft while Darius turned on the water, sticking his hand into the stream to check the temperature before turning back with a smile.
"Alright, we'll leave you to it, if you need anyth-" Darius began, his words dying on his lips as Ben pushed away from them stepping into the stream fully clothed, a tiny ankylosaurus underfoot clamouring in behind him.
"Dude!" Kenji grinned, wheezing his way into the room that was quickly filling with steam. Sammy shouted for him to lay down followed by a few choice swears in Spanish as he ignored her gingerly lowered himself to the closed toilet. "You missed some of the craziest shit! Like, I mean running for your life through underground tunnels from velociraptors kinda shit!"
The shower remained silent for several minutes, until Ben, sounding close to the floor and obviously sitting responded with a "Yeah?"
"Totally! It was intense!" the older boy buckled then, grabbing his side and doubling over, clearly in intense pain, his eyes watering. "Yeah," he grit between his teeth. "We also totally blew up Toro, it's not dead or anything, but it'll think twice before- before messing with us again!"
"Th-that's nnn-nnn cool-ol cool! That's cool!" Ben replied from the other side of the curtain.
"Come on Kenji," Darius sighed, looking every bit a doting parent as he reached towards him. "Let's get you back to bed."
Kenji waved him away sharply, as a hand immerged from behind the divider, a wet sneaker held out for show. "Thanks man." Kenji smiled as Bumpy bleated burst out if the shower bounded for the dripping shoe playfully, soaking the floor as she did. Kenji retrieved the coveted item, smiling he cradled it fondly.
"Cute." the pink haired girl observed, preserving the gift giving forever. "Guess we'll have to start calling you Cinderella!" Kenji shot her a look.
Startled, her attention caught by a hand on her shoulder Brooklynn turned to see a conflict of emotions washing over Sammy's face. The Texan motioned her out into the bedroom, dark brown gaze serious and locked onto hers, master key card tapping against her lower lip as she thought.
"Hey, I need your help." Sammy said sweeping a lock of hair from her face. "I am over the moon that Ben's alright, but we can't let that excitement get in the way of everything else. We need to find him some medicine, antibiotics or somethin', he's not in a good way." the girl explained, the strain in her voice emphasizing the severity she felt the situation warranted, arms crossed.
The thought clicked with Brooklynn immediately, "Shit, you're right!" she muttered, eyes searching the patterned carpet along the floor, her stomach in a sailor's knot.
Brooklynn reexamined the situation with a fresh perspective. She'd allowed her relief and excitement to skew her judgement, they all had. Lowering the camcorder and taking stock of what everyone was doing, the girl knew that Sammy was right. Sure they were finally all together, a fact that had her head swimming deliriously. Her mind had only just reconciled the fact that Ben was dead, when by nothing short of a miracle he'd come back. Still, what good did their reunion do them, if three of the six had no clear chance of reaching the choppers when they came?
They needed to get his infection and fever under control ASAP. Then they'd have to see abou-
There was a loud wet plop, severing Brooklynn's train of thought, making both girls turn to see the tattered remains of Ben's blue button up laying on the bathroom floor. Scooping it up dutifully Darius placed it into the sink, before shaking his head and muttering to himself as he changed his mind. Walking past the girls with the sopping bundle he emerged onto the balcony and hurled the ruined clothes away immediately grasping his shoulder, which still on the mend, bothered him if he moved it wrong. Darius stopped short when he realized they were watching him.
"What?" he asked suddenly self conscious, a sheepish look passed between the girls. "It's not like we need anymore garbage laying around."
Sammy rolled her eyes though the ghost of her signature smile couldn't be helped.
"We're gonna grab some stuff. You got home base under control?" she asked quirking a brow, nodding her head between the girl on the couch, and the boys in the bathroom, leaving the scampering baby dinosaur out of the equation as she grabbed the power cord to the digital clock and took off with it at a run honking loudly with victory.
"Ma'am, yes ma'am!" he half smiled offering a salute, before lunging after Bumpy, grappling with the dinosaur over the electronics that clattered noisily as it bounced along behind her. All at once he could be a kid again, and everything was right with the world, it made the videographer grin broadly as she watched the melee.
"Brooke and I are gonna go scrounge up some meds and something to eat." Sammy laughed hands on Brooklynn's shoulders she drove her away like a shopping cart in spite of the girls best efforts to record the wrestling pair's shenanigans. "Probably best to start looking in the kitchen at what's frozen and canned right now too." she mused.
In the hallway Sammy's optimistic shine began to fade as she paced in front of the door.
"Are you alright?" Brooklynn asked watching the Texan who seemed intent on wearing a rut into the floor between hotel rooms.
"I'm fine." she said, clearly lying, Brooklynn knew her better by now. "Do you wanna turn out suitcases and medicine cabinets, or mess around the kitchen?"
"Divide and conquer? Ka-pow, ka-pow!" Brooklynn asked firing off finger guns, trying to win the other girl over and cheer her up.
"You know it." Sammy nodded trying to sound chipper but she was too preoccupied to meet her gaze.
"Suitcases. I don't know how to cook." Brooklynn said stepping up and swinging her hip into Sammy's. "Hey," she said pulling a pilfered bobbie pin from her own floral hued locks, reaching up she brushed back some arrant strands from Sammy's face and pinned them out of the way. "It's alright to be scared, remember."
The agitated girl blinked, her large brown eyes perplexed, then a glimmer of hope and recognition shone through. "I remember." Sammy smiled, her bubbly inner self peeking through behind the veil of fear and doubt.
"We got this." Brooklynn announced.
"Yeah, we got this!" Sammy agreeing with renewed confidence as she handed over the key card. After a steadying breath she turned towards the elevators calling, "Remember anti-biotics!" over her shoulder.
"Roger, roger!" Brooklynn confirmed.
Taking a moment to adjust her camcorder, she found herself grateful to have recovered a power cord alongside it, keeping the precious vessel if normalcy and control alive. Once she was satisfied Brooklynn moved down the hall towards the other rooms, narrating as she went.
"So Brooklanders, ya girl Brooklynn here, obvi, life on Isla Nublar aka, KDI, aka Killer Dinosaur Island, aka Hell On Earth has sure been jam-packed with numerous twists and unexpected turns." she said keying into the nearest room. The living room was sparse, curtains open to allow the morning light to filter in and offer up it's gentle illumination.
"Take what I'm doing now for example. Running around the hotel looking for medical supplies when I should be sipping a Mai Tai with my dad on some beach somewhere in Hawaii!" she laughed.
Rounding the corner she saw that the beds stood well made and untouched. Clearly there would be nothing to find here. She was getting ready to turn and leave when a thought, an erratic, mischievous, and rioutus thought, came to mind.
With a loud whooping shout the girl ran to the beds and began jumping between them with high-octane levels of mirth and energy, a hand pressed firm against the stinging pain in her stomach as she did. What she was doing at first for the camera, for the unseen, unknowable views at some point in the future melted away into genuine joy and laugher as she jumped everything she'd been keeping bottled up out of her system. Swinging her legs she sent pillows and blankets flying across the room in wild disarray hurricane Brooklynn had hit the room with force.
"We're going to be ok! We're going to be ok! We're going home!" Brooklynn cheered and shouted until at last she collapsed onto her back gasping for air, and grinning ear to ear.
Staring up in a tired, dreamy state all the pressure of just surviving, and the burden of Ben's death evaporated from her body. He was ok, they were all ok, and rescue was coming. They were going to make it. An overwhelming rush of emotion hit Brooklynn in the chest like a hammer fall then. Blinking back tears she remembered the camera almost too late, and shut that shit down, turning it onto her tearfully beaming face. Happy, she reminded herself, be happy, people like you better that way.
"See," she gasped. "You never know what's going to happen here, but if you don't make your own fun, who's gonna make it for you?"
Getting up Brooklynn reminded herself of her mission and continued on to the next room. Darius had clearly already been here; clothes were strewn everywhere, drawers left dislodged from the dresser, mini fridge ajar. Tapping her foot she pondered if searching the medicine cabinet in the bathroom was even worth the time and effort? Deciding against it she backed out of the room wishing she'd thought to bring a pen or marker or something to scribble on the doors and indicate which ones were already picked over, and which ones weren't.
"You know what?" Brooklynn mused to the camera. "We've stuck to searching this floor and the one beneath it a lot. I think I'm going to try my luck," she paused to make a trumpeting sound, fingers held in a curl before her mouth. "Topside!"
Heading towards the lifts girl skipped merrily inside a large metal box, jamming her thumb onto the button for floor number seven. There were ten in total, and though they'd been here a while the nervous campers turned castaways hadn't explored much farther than absolutely necessary to survive. Desperate times, Brooklynn thought.
"Behold," the girl whispered when the metallic doors slid open. "A strange new world, untouched, and unexplored by any man, or woman before!" Imagining the sci-fi sound effects she'd want to lay over the footage Brooklynn emerged like an astronaut leaving their space capsule. "What wonders, what horrors, what possibilities does this strange land hold? Will it be a fearsome new frontier, or a forgiving oasis of peace?"
In the first room she found an evening dress draped over the arm of the couch, trailing her fingers over the beautiful navy blue fabric she wondered aloud, "They must have been going to Canyon Convivial, fantastic atmosphere, glass bottomed floors, beautiful food."
In the bedroom she found the belongings of two people, a twin pair of toothbrushes on the bathroom counter near the medicine cabinet which housed only deodorant and perfume. "Let's try the next one!" she cheered, though nagging thoughts regarding the fate of the room's former occupants circulated throughout the young woman's mind.
She hoped they'd been able to have that night out, a romantic dinner, and were now safe in each other's arms somewhere far from this place. The dark, persistent thoughts that they were, more likely among the trampled masses far below eating away at her Brooklynn moved on in her search.
In and out of rooms, Brooklynn sorted through her findings talking up her invisible audience as she exposed, the trinkets, knickknacks, and even well loved treasures left behind. After a while her spirits falling where her enigmatic persona soared the girl's neck was heavy with chains from different abandoned necklaces, and her wrists jangled with bracelets she'd dared to loop over her misshapen, and still rather sore wrists. She'd even taken the time for a quick makeup tutorial and now looked every bit a queen.
Still, she hadn't been completely negligent of her duties, a bag of medication in tow. She'd found over the counter pain relievers mostly, but had also managed to scrounge up some antibiotics. Reading over their labels she'd found that they were prescribed for things like ear infections, sinus infections, and one so carefully worded she was sure it was for a VD. Depositing the bag onto the bed opposite her as she began to feel a growing weariness overtake her. Brooklynn hoped that these finds would be of some use.
Sitting for several minutes among the shattered remains of so many innocent lives her joy and excitement slowly ebbing away the girl found herself sorrowfully recounting how they'd gotten to this point. "I just- It all happened so fast." Brooklynn laughed, wiping at the tears on her cheeks. "I know you probably don't want to hear any of this, and I know people say that a lot, but it really did, it all just happened so damn fast..."
"It's like- one minute we're just six kids at a summer camp sure some of its crappy and boring, but other parts are fun too. We were living the life. That's all we were doing. We didn't do anything to deserve what happened to us-" her voice broke. "No one here did!"
"We were just, there. Then we heard something and decided to do that stupid thing you yell at characters in a movie for because you know better-" she paused staring bitterly at the eye of the camera. "We just wanted to see what was making that noise then boom, boom, those guys are dead they're just-" her breath stole away the gory image of a man's intestines falling from his body in a sickening wash of red, the wet crush of bone, and the howling, the terrified, pained howling of his dying cries hit her with force as though she were witnessing it again for the first time.
Fanning her hands in front of her face she couldn't breathe. Setting the camera aside she paced for several minutes shaking her head violently, shrieking at herself to make it stop, but she had no such control. Eventually after riding out the worst of the episode Brooklynn managed to regain some of her composure and resumed her bedside confessional.
"It was bad." she summarized, her voice hoarse and tear strained. "Jayson fell, died... Then we were falling, we all made it somehow... but we got fucked up. Especially Darius," she shuddered picturing the boy sitting in a daze, arm nauseatingly limp with dislocation. "And Kenji... Then we were running, we thought we were safe with this 'Eddie' guy, pretty sure he was just there to steal from JW, he... died too... There were those flying dinosaurs, glow stick dinosaurs- fucking- the mosasaurs!" she exclaimed on her feet in an instant.
"Yasmina is insane, for the record." Brooklynn declared. "I don't know who needs to hear this, but certifiably insane. She swam with it, saved everyone's lives and just- I still can't wrap my head around it. The monorail, we- we thought we'd lost Ben, tunnels, raptors, Toro, then they just- they left us."
The words hung heavy like a sour cord in the air for a long while until, still struggling to come to terms with everything that had happened Brooklynn repeated the phrase, "They left us... And there's dead people everywhere and..." the girl, her soul fractured, looked down at herself, gleaming like royalty. Her stomach knotted sharply, bile washing up to her nostrils.
"What am I doing?" she asked looking down at her newly aquired bling with a stark and harrowing realization. Some of these people were probably dead, she thought then with a cry. "What the fuck am I doing?"
Panicked she dropped the camcorder desperately trying to get the stolen jewelry off batting at the bracelets, sending them flying across the room. Heart racing she tore at the necklaces, scratching at her neck, the quickly broken gold cords ensnaring her fingers she shook them away with the same horror one would walking through a spider's web as she screamed.
"Oh God what am I doing? What am I doing?" she wailed crumpling to the ground in a heap of tears and self loathing.
Those people, all those poor people! They were dead, their families would never see them again, and here she was playing dress up with their stuff? Why? Brooklynn made herself sick. Laying on the floor she cried in wretched sobs.
The young woman wept into the carpet trying to come to terms with everything, all that's she'd been through, all that lie ahead, her own vain means of coping. Brooklynn wasn't even sure why she had been doing the things she was doing. It felt safe, reliable, and most importantly she was in control.
Self reflection cutting deep Brooklynn knew it was still something more than that. It was the acceptance, the love, friendship, and comradare that she received from her viewers. It was a belonging she had always wanted, and now that she had it, as fleeting as internet fame and stardom was she couldn't bear to lose it. Their approval, their admiration, and praise made her feel whole and part of something in a way she never head among her peers.
Still, she thought bitterly, she was disgusting, especially because it was all a sham.
Picking at loose fibers and ground in chip crumbs from the carpet as her emotions wound down, Brooklynn let out a sigh. They were going to get out soon, she thought breathing out slowly as she worked to calm herself. Yeah, that was what was most important. Everything else aside, that knowledge comforted her, they were going home.
Sitting up the girl wiped her face clear of tears, rescue was coming, but first Ben needed this medicine.
Pulling herself to her feet she snagged the camcorder from where it had been discarded shutting it off she turned heading for the door. There on the entertainment stand beside the television amid toy trucks was a tube of diaper cream. Her fingers tracing the plastic port beneath her clothes where the sour smelling acids and enzymes had begun to pool, Brooklynn glaced superstitiously over her shoulder, insuring that she was alone before lifting her hoodie and shirts to expose the ugly mess for what it was.
Biting her lip as she hissed and squealed with pain, Brooklynn's knees shuffled as though she were trying to run. She gingerly unwrapped the washcloth that had been used to try and absorb some of the acid. Skin turned white and soft, utterly ruined peeled away leaving red ulcerated pits behind in an elliptical ring, widest at the bace where gravity pulled the burning liquid down.
It was bad, thought walking carefully into the bathroom, shirt up she couldn't take her eyes off her stomach as she watched the pits begin to bleed.
A tiny sob escaped the girl as she tried to dab the area clean. It hurt like hell, on par with her wrists that first night, and there wasn't much she could do about it. The wound wouldn't heal until the acids stopped leaking out, but the acids wouldn't stop leaking out until the wound healed and the skin sealed back up around the button. Either way without the right kind of help she was fucked.
Drying the area as best she could the girl applied a thick layer of diaper cream to the area. It stung, but she prayed that it was a strong enough barrier cream to give her skin the respite it needed to mend itself. Brooklynn fanned the area of a minute, debating about whether or not to washcloth-up again, or give her skin time to breathe. Opting for the latter option the girl pulled everything down. Layering up like this was good for hiding what she didn't want seen, always had been. Thank God this place still had a functioning AC or she'd have keeled over by now.
Giving a shaky breath as she pocketed the rashcream Brooklynn steeled herself to continue facing the day. Gathering her things she made her way to the elevators and took one to the ground floor. The hairs raising on the back of her neck she could have kicked Darius' ass for mentioning raptors and door handles as she cautiously scoped out her surroundings before making a mad dash towards the kitchen to see what, if anything Sammy needed help with.
Struck with tantalizing aromas just before pushing her way through the double door Brooklynn was met with the sight of roaring red flames erupting from a pan as Sammy tossed something with a nervous skill.
"You are having way too much fun with this." Brooklynn observed with a smile as she took note of the daintily plated mounds of rice topped with little sprigs of green stuff.
"You're one to talk oochie-mama!" Sammy said motioning with a large spoon towards her. "Hot date tonight or something?"
"Oh," Brooklynn said touching her face, a flush rising in her cheeks. "Just messing around. So, what are to making anyways?"
"Stir-fry. Not my area of expertise, but I wanted to try and use as many vegetables as I could before they all went bad, and what is stir-fry but a whole ton of veggies and some meat in soy sauce? Besides the meats are all frozen so as long as we have electricity I think we don't have to worry about it much." Sammy explained with a smile, the familiar, comforting effervescence the Texan was known for back with sunny force.
"Knock on wood." Brooklynn chuckled striking a cutting board as she savored the tempting fragrances. Why hadn't they thought of this earlier? No more shitty leftovers abandoned by strangers. Everyone would probably be very relieved to have something fresh to eat, Brooklynn knew she was even as the voice in the back of her head whispered that the fluffy mound of white rice steaming beside her was the enemy. She was trying not to listen to that voice.
"Well it smells good!" Brooklynn smiled hopping onto a nearby counter.
"Thanks!" Sammy winked dancing to a tune only she could hear. "Maybe I can open my own restaurant some day?" she mused in a singsong tone.
"Maybe, if we make it outta here!" the pink haired girl laughed legs swinging in the air.
Expression falling Sammy's shoulders slumped as she worked with quiet diligence for a few minutes. Then Brooklynn realized just how left of center, and off mark her joke had been. Her heart squeezed with sorrow and regret. She had to make it better, she thought seeing just how badly those words had hurt. Frantically racing through a dozen possibilities Brooklynn leaped from the counter and grabbed her camera.
"Move over Julia Child, there's a new, tall, and dare I say gorgeous woman in the kitchen!" Brooklynn announced moving in for a close up.
"What the heck do you think you're doin'?" Sammy laughed, brow furrowed, gaze darting between her work and the camcorder.
"Food and travel documentary obviou- no wait- biographical documentary on the great Chef Samantha Gutierrez!" the pink haired girl said crab walking to get a good shot of the twin woks Sammy handled.
"Just Sammy," Sammy said. "Samantha just sounds so... severe don't you think?"
"Really? I like it. Oh well, your poor parents." Brooklynn laughed before giving a shrug. "Chef Sammy Gutierrez, owner of prestigious four star restaurant TeXXX (with three X-es because the foods so sexy)-" she said earning a genuine, hearty laugh from the other girl. "Is now going for the fifth. We can see her concentrating as she works with clear skill and capability, clearly a grand master at work! Tell the people Sammy, what are you making?"
"What?" Sammy chuckled.
"Tell the people!" Brooklynn instructed between the teeth of her smile.
"Well y'all I'm just makin' a quick-"
"French accent!" Brooklynn command.
"What?"
"Use a French accent! All the best chefs are from France, everyone knows that!" the videographer said nonchalantly shifting her weight from one foot to the other.
"You ever hear a Texan try a French accent?" Sammy questioned with a sharply raised brow.
"Nope, but I'm about to!"
It wasn't long before the kitchen was filled with not only the heavenly smells, and the heat of the stove, but also laugher, merriment, and fun. Hurt feelings mended Brooklynn helped plate up, carrying a plethora of fruits and vegetables from the storeroom, stacking them up on a cart of their own alongside a cutting board and knife.
"Think Ben'll mind that I ruined the tofu?" Sammy asked plating the meal she'd made in the second wok. "I had no idea what I was doing and now it looks like scrambled eggs."
"Looks fine, besides it's Ben, king of the PB&J remember?" Brooklynn put in. "I think he'd be glad just to have something to eat, and that you thought of him like that. You're a great person, you know that right?"
"I guess." Sammy muttered, gloomy without warning.
Brooklynn watched her as she loaded a watermelon onto the cart, her falling out with Yasmina had hit her pretty hard. "Don't worry Sammy, I'm sure Yaz will get over it sooner or later. I know I never thought Darius and Kenji would ever speak to each other again!"
"Yeah, but there's no magic cure for us." Sammy sighed putting fancy silver tray lids over the plates.
Brooklynn shrugged, "Just don't lie." the girl said bluntly before she could stop herself or think of something better to say.
"I was more honest with that girl than I have been most people in my life."
"Really? Scandalous, do tell. What skeletons do you have in your closet 'just Sammy?'" Brooklynn asked grinning, happy that her little slip hadn't caused any tension between them.
"Nothin', it's not important." Sammy beginning to steer her trolly towards the door. "Ready?"
"Yeah, you don't think any of this is gonna make Bumpy sick though, do you?"
"Nah, I'm sure she'll be fine." the cowgirl said eyeing the sizable and colorful array of produce Brooklynn carted in front of her.
The girls chat comfortably with one another as they took the elevator and crossed the hall to room 608. Brows knitting as on the other side of the door they heard raised voices. Fumbling as she keyed them in Brooklynn and Sammy raced through the living room, stopping short just before bedroom.
"Sammy!" Darius shouted with urgency. "Help me!"
Frozen in place the girls took the sight in, in one horrid glance. Strain and fear plain on his face Darius struggled his hands curled beneath Ben's armpits, the boy white as a sheet was limp and unresponsive, the stain of blood marring the carpet beneath him. Kenji leaned against the bathroom door from where running water could still be heard, wheezing commands, even as he seemed ready to faint. Yasmina was using the foot of the bed to brace herself as she rushed forward on a hobbled leg to help. Bumpy circled the room honking loundly with alarm.
Shoving her way through Sammy raced to Ben and heaved him into the nearest bed. "What the hell happened?" she barked eyes wide as she searched for answers.
"I don't know!" Darius sobbed, hands coming to his head. "I don't know! I don't-"
"Darius!" Sammy shouted again her voice taught.
"He was fine, he was just fine, talking to me and Kenji, we uh- I don't know! We asked if he wanted help out a couple times but he just kept saying in felt good and he wanted to stay in there. Then-" Darius began to pace as Yaz still leaning heavily on the mattress picked up a corner of the blankets and tossed them as best she could to cover the boy and offer him what modesty was available.
"He just stopped talking!" Darius cried. "He just stopped talking, we thought, we thought he was just tired- but- but when I checked on him- there was so much blood!"
Hugging herself as she watched the scene unfolding before her Brooklynn wandered to the other bed and lowered herself down, numb with shock. This wasn't real, this couldn't be happening. They'd just gotten him back and now? Now...
Everything was panic, everything was chaos. The children turned Ben over to apply pressure to the gash on the back of his head which Sammy surmised had been sealed shut with dirt and dried blood until now. In his eagerness to help Darius knelt on the bed and pressed a towel hard with both hands to staunch the flow until Yasmina shoved him away with fearful anger.
"He can't breathe!" she shireked picking up Ben's head and turning to the side. Ben took a shuddering gasp as the smothering pillows came away from his face.
"I'm sorry! Oh my God I'm sorry!" Darius wept backing away as she reapplied pressure.
"Is he alright?" Kenji choked out as he staggered towards them. "Ben! Ben, wake up!"
"Will you stop moving him!" Sammy yelled when Kenji shook the unconscious boy by the shoulder.
The seconds rolled into minutes, but each passing moment was a fractal in time, suspended indefinitely, as fear and uncertainty made them drag on. Eventually the campers found themselves freed of the chronical prison as breathless the worst seemed to be over.
Sitting on the floor resting against the foot of the bed, first aid kit in his lap Darius, eyes closed wearily, was the first to speak. "He needs stitches." when no one replied the boy forced himself to stand, surveying the haggard faces that stared back at him. "Ben needs stitches."
"Needs- a lot more than that!" Kenji who had taken up residence laying flat across the floor scoffed.
"Yeah, we all do!" Yaz bit irritably.
Choosing to ignore them Darius pressed on. "Ben needs stitches you guys, and I don't know how to sew."
Everyone turned to look at Sammy with hopeful expectation.
"My mama is always busy trying to feed a family of twelve and hired hands, and keep the ranch running smoothly, she never had time to sew let alone teach anybody to do it!" she exclaimed with frustration, motioning broadly with blood stained hands.
"Don't look at me!" Yaz scoffed before anyone could pose the question.
Like the distant chime of a bell Brooklynn could feel the answer just there within her grasp as she pulled herself from the bleak despair she had been wallowing in. She could help.
"I know how." she heard herself say, coming into the present as she stood and made her way towards them. "I know how to sew."
"Really?" Darius asked, anxiously optimistic.
"Yeah," Brooklynn smiled, slipping from the shadows of her feelings and into the glowing light of her mask. "Piece of cake!"
Rifling through the kit while the others positioned the patient, flattening wet hair out of the way to expose the deep ugly gash Brooklynn fought to compose herself, cool and calm on the outside she was clawing and screaming internally. She couldn't do this! She wasn't good enough! She wasn't a doctor! What if she got it wrong? What of she fucked up? What if- Brooklynn handed over the rubbing alcohol, with a wink to Darius before she started toying with the needle and thread.
"Hold him." Brooklynn heard the boy instruct before the pungent odor of the antiseptic hit her with force.
"That's not a good sign, is it?" Yaz muttered when Ben didn't react to the burning liquid.
Lower lip caught suddenly between her teeth, needle threaded and ready Brooklynn moved up the bed just behind Ben. "Running stitch, slip stitch, or ladder stitch?" she asked trying to sound casual but the frightened waver to her voice betrayed her.
"Whatever, just do it!" Kenji yelled his angry commentary from the floor.
Her heart fluttering wildly, tears in her eyes Brooklynn moved forward. The point of the needle touching skin she flinched and pulled away. "I can't do it!" she shrieked.
"What of course you can, you're Brooklynn!" Sammy smiled encouragingly.
"I can't! I just can't!" Brooklynn sobbed shaking her head from side to side as she started to cry. Swallowing down backwash as it raced up her throat the pink haired girl scrambled backwards on hands and knees.
Heart racing as her meticulously crafted disguise started to slip, the young woman's breath caught in her throat. Everything was unraveling coming undone, they were going to see her, they were all going to see her for what she really was, and they were going to hate her. Everyone always did. Fingers tangled fiercely in her hair she choked and wheezed past her tightening airway. She couldn't do this, she wasn't strong enough, it was all fake, pretend, a lie! She couldn't do this!
"Brooklynn come on, you climbed Mount Everest!" Sammy laughed, reaching out to touch her back.
"It was Mount Denali..." the forlorn girl confessed, her gaze falling to her lap. "In Alaska."
"But, but those pictures of you at the summit!" Sammy's smile faultered.
"Photoshop... I wanted it to be Everest, but- I had a lot going on, I was sick-" she murmured tearfully. "I'd promised my viewers Mount Everest, my dad promised me an adventure- We compromised with Denali... I- I lied... I'm sorry. I can't do anything, I can't do it! I can't help! I'm sorry." she wailed feeling exposed and vulnerable.
"Brooklynn?" Darius whispered in shock.
"How much of it was all just a-"
"That's not important right now." Yasmina declared cutting Sammy off as she scooted towards Brooklynn. "What is important is that Ben needs help, and you're the only one who can help him."
"No I can't, that wasn't me! It was all fake!" she replied with a wretch.
"You know what isn't fake, climbing Mount Denali. I bet that took guts-"
"I can't- I can't-"
"Shh. You know what else took guts? Standing up to that Eddie guy, jumping from a fucking moving train, using yourself as live bait for mother fucking velociraptors!" Yaz enthused her warm brown eyes wide with meaning as she took Brooklynn by the shoulders and shook her gently to emphasize her words.
"But, I didn't do anything of those things by myself!" Brooklynn protested.
"But you still did them." Yasmina pointed out.
The embers of courage stoking to life in her chest Brooklynn looked at Yaz with disbelief. "Yeah," Darius put in, a hand on Brooklynn's back. "Besides, you're not alone."
Her head swivelling between the others Brooklynn was overwhelmed with emotion, the crush of her feelings threatening to undo her when Yaz gave her a brisk shake, snapping her from her awed revere.
"Hey." Yaz said regaining her wavering attention. "Look at me, repreat after me: I am strong. I am capable. I know what I am doing. I've got this."
"I'm strong," Brooklynn whimpered unconvincingly. "I'm capable. I know what I'm doing. I've got this."
"Again."
"I'm strong. I'm capable. I know what I'm doing. I've got this." Brooklynn said feeling herself bolstered by the mantra.
"Again."
"I'm strong. I'm capable. I know what I'm doing. I've got this." Brooklynn announced with renewed vigor.
"Good," Yasmina sighed in relief, turning Brooklynn to face the daunting task that lie before her. "Because Ben needs you, and you're the only one who can help him. There's nothing left to do but get it done. So do it... Besides, there's always time to cry about it later."
Her hands trembling Brooklynn pushed the hook shaped needle through the skin at the base of the gash. The wound tugged and pulled, more difficult to pass the needle through than fabric. The girl's stomach lurched and she was grateful she hadn't sampled any of Sammy's handiwork just yet. Looping the black nylon thread Brooklynn's eyes fluttered back tears as she nauseatingly tugged the two pieces of skin together.
After several anxious minutes Brooklynn snipped the final suture, and sat back staring as her crude, but sufficient work.
"Is he going to be ok?" she asked in a distant whisper.
"Nobody knows." Darius muttered with a remorseful honesty.
"Did stitching him up even do anything? Or was it all pointless." she mused, not really expecting much of an answer.
"Nothing's pointless." Kenji breathed.
"Yeah, besides the helicopters are coming, right?" Sammy smiled.
"Yeah, I guess." Brooklynn concurred.
"Hey," Yaz nudged the pink haired girl. "It's later."
"What?"
"You don't have to hold it all in, anymore. It's later." Yasmina explained gently.
With that nurturing permission all at once Brooklynn's foundations broke and she found herself crying in huge lamenting sobs, falling to the blankets as she did. Shushing her hurts and smoothing a hand over her hair the runner pulled her close, whispering what comforting words she could think to offer. Sammy and Darius worked around them with quiet diligence, tidying the supplies and maneuvering Ben's gangly arms into a bathrobe before tucking him beneath the comforters, and shutting off the still running shower.
"So, Kenji." Sammy started, hands on her hips as she took stock of his situation. "Ready to make the long walk to the bed?"
"No." he groaned, legs splayed, Bumpy dozing in the space they made. "Don't touch me. Just, get me a blanket? I'm pretty sure I live here now."
"You sure?"
"Yeah I'm sure."
Sammy fetched a blanket for him and like that hush fell over the room and one by one they drifted if not into restless sleep, a strained quiet.
Plates of half eaten stir-fry dotting the hotel room the campers were watching tv when they heard the first distant blade-slaps of a helicopter chuffing through the air. After a few desperate pleas and attempts to gain the piolet's attention an icy chill came over the room.
They weren't going to make it. Resignation settling into each of the children's hearts as hope died away, by now an all too familiar sensation Darius drew the curtains, shielding them from the sight of the sleek black chopper landing. They couldn't cover the distance, not all of them, and they wouldn't leave anyone behind, not again.
"We'll catch the next ones..." their reluctant leader assured them.
"Yeah," Sammy agreed with a smile. "The news report said they'd be sending the search teams out in waves."
"And there's no way that was a Coast Guard chopper," Yaz was quick to add, each doing their best to keep the others hope alight. "Did you see how small it was? So that means we've still got the big guns coming!"
When the quiet that followed became unbearable Brooklynn leaped to her feet snatching the remote control from it's resting place among the pillows.
"Alright bitches, my turn to pick a movie!" she declared, try her best to be cheerful, and dispell a whole room full of tension.
"Brooklynn," Darius sighed settling on the bed where he had been moments before. "It's ok, you can be real with us."
Brooklynn returned the sad smile as the others shared his sentiment. "Ok," she sighed before adding. "I am a charismatic person you know- I just-"
"Don't have to be happy all the time." Kenji who had finally been wrested into the nearest bed, sandwiching the still unresponsive Ben between him and Yasmina scoffed.
"Yeah B, were your friends, not your followers, remember?" Yaz added.
She was right Brooklynn thought, taking in the kids she had been left behind with. They cared about her, no matter how different she was, or how annoyed she could be, or how sad she let herself get. The young woman allowed herself to deflate some, the burden of all the forced enthusiasm flowing out of her. They really were her friends, she first real friends.
"This really fucking sucks you guys." Everyone agreed as the pink haired girl sank down on Sammy's other side. "... Mean Girls? It's my happy place movie?"
"Mean Girls." they agreed.
