It's a nice place, this restaurant. Well, maybe restaurant. They're sort of right on the edge between fast food and restaurant service. Also, the chicken is amazing. Also, also, I'm slightly distracted because I'm trying to listen carefully and talk to my not-quite-date here. She's pretty, cute, in a tough-girl kind of way.
"You got quiet on me firebird," Cass's voice is surprisingly measured. Maybe it's her tell? "Or just enjoying dinner?"
"Dinner, mostly," I smile, trying not to talk with my mouth full. "How do they do the chicken?" She has to notice when I take another bite. "It's so good."
"It's a hotplate, and some super-secret-awesomeness sauce recipe." She gives me a little wink as she slices off another bite for herself.
"So you wanted to show me this place?"
"Because I love it for a cheat-day, duh." I do like that cheeky smile.
"Not because you could manage to get me alone for once?" I have to ask, even though I did plan it this way.
"I figure you planned it that way, but lemme tell you, I don't want to be that person." Actually a good sign.
"Oh, he'll get a full report, but you were making it pretty obvious which half you wanted."
"And that's okay with both of you?"
I shake my head gently. "We're more of a package deal, for fairness." There's a pause as I spear some chips with a fork. "And I understand if that's not what you wanted—but I want to make sure we're on the same page."
"I get that," like me, Cass is talking with her hands. "I'm sure you've got more questions too."
"Well, yeah," my hands are quite animated now, and I've gotta be careful not launch food across the table. "One of the big ones is what you want out of this, or maybe why you want me in particular."
"We're sitting here now, firebird. I'm pretty sure you've figured out at least a couple."
"In your own words, Cass, not mine." My voice is maybe a little sterner than I really needed to be.
"I like you, I've heard some things—a while ago, actually—and I like sex. Good sex."
"You don't need two friends for it though."
"Two people I can trust, at least, and who I figure wouldn't try using it against me at some point. And who might, maybe, like to have some friendly benefits from time-to-time."
"So you're not just falling for me, or my body then?"
"Jeez you can be blunt sometimes, firebird." I'm surprised she's not offended by that. "I like you. You're a good friend to Audrey, and fun to be around. Kris might be a bit stuffy round me, but I know I could trust him if I needed his help with something. Oh, and the two of you still seem to have that spark, it's rare, I'd like to feel a little bit of that before I reach your age—no offence."
"Cass, I'm only—" I pause, counting on my fingers for comedic effect. "—okay, more than a decade older than you."
She's laughing at my antics. Good sense of humour, but I kind of knew that already.
"You also realise I have a daughter that I will probably have to explain this to?"
"I'm not sure I can help on that one," she's looking away, not making eye contact. "I've never really been good with kids, or teenagers."
"That's okay," I'm looking her in the eye now. "I still haven't figured it all out either."
She laughs, and seeing something out of the corner of my eye, that's when I have my brilliant idea.
"Hey, are you coming to the masquerade ball next Sunday?"
"Masquerade?"
"Fancy, formal dress, masks, sort of semi-anonymous. Big event, lots of people, and I'm sure there's plenty of hookups on the side too. Get to know someone without knowing anything about them first. Kinda like a blind date, but for social stuff."
"I'd say that sounds fancy enough for invite only and event security—and Kris would already be your plus one, right?"
I really need to think these things through more. Because she's dead right, and tickets are kind of exclusive.
"Firebird—Anna?"
"Yeah, my plans are supposed to blow up in my face a little later, I think…"
"And just thinking, after a night like that, maybe with some drinking, would you really be up for it?"
I give her a half frown. "Not that much drinking, but you're probably right. It can be pretty tiring. But it's still probably a yes, depending on what Kristoff says."
"I would like just you," that cocky smile, just a little like yours. "But both is good too." There's a moment's silence as we contemplate the empty plates before us. "Anyway, I hear you're a fiend for desserts…"
"I think she's a unicorn," I look Kristoff in the eye, daring him to contradict me.
He brushes some hair out of my face. "Or she's looking for a fling."
I prop myself up on my elbow. "Could be—but would that be so bad?"
"A little bit like this, but younger, softer?" He just licked something that sent shivers down my spine.
"Tease." I roll on top of him. "You get to play too."
"Trade in my old forty for a twenty something?" The face he's making. I can't hold in the laughter. "I think we need a test drive first."
While we're kissing, I can't say anything stupid. Mostly because I can't say anything. The night passes in a blur, and I wake up apparently curled up in as many blankets as I could steal from Kristoff's side of the bed. Kristoff's already up, getting dressed. He says nothing about my blanket thievery. It was cold last night, after all. December. My sleepy mind is also telling me a third body in the bed would make it much warmer in the mornings. First we gotta get her here. And I'm not sure if we need a totally legit reason—just for Joan's sake—or whether we should just come right out and say it. I'm honestly not sure how to handle this, and I hate to say it, but you would have been worse.
I'm thinking honesty is probably best—we're honest with Joan as much as we can be. It goes both ways. Well, I hope it does. Usually—and I'm suddenly reminded of Joan's evasion when doing laundry the other day. Because it wasn't anything about the laundry. I clench my fists under the covers. We have to let her have some secrets, no matter how much I want to pry. But then if it is what I think, maybe I really don't want to know, and that's kind of like her not wanting to think about us and I'm just running myself in circles now. I need food.
Throwing the blankets off to wake up is instant regret. My pyjamas are still on the floor. I hug Kristoff from behind, and he shivers.
"Woman, you. Are. Freezing." He turns around to hug me properly. "I can give you all the warm hugs you want, but you really should put something on."
And I do. Several somethings. Nice and fluffy and warm. Sometimes I wish we had a fire—the whole cozy in front of the hearth kinda thing. Properly dressed, me and Kristoff head downstairs for breakfast. Yes, it's coco-pops again. Like you didn't steal them sometimes either. Anyway, it's looking very much like an inside day, snow falling outside, piling up on the lawn furniture we hadn't moved. I remember how much you loved the snow—especially thundersnow. Until you told me about it I didn't even know it was thing.
The door to the lounge rooms opens, and Joan wanders through, yawning widely before noticing us at the table. "Oh, hi—uh, morning."
"We'll still be here when you finish waking up," Kristoff smiles, sipping his coffee.
Joan starts to say something, mumbles, then looks around at both of us. It's pretty clear she's more tired than usual. The mid-terms are over though. I give her a searching look. "You okay?"
"Just tired. I stayed up too late—and forgot about my alarm."
"We've all done that," I turn the page of my book. "If you're really that tired you should go back to bed."
"Just need waking up." She opens a tin and sniffs it. "Eugh, coffee. Where's the—aha!"
Chocolate milk. Of course. And a pop-tart in the toaster.
"Breakfast of champions," Kristoff says over his shoulder. "You're gonna crash so hard, Snowflake."
"Yeah, probably," she grabs a plate for the pop-tart then turns to me. "But it's not like we've got anything planned for today is it?"
I shrug. "Maybe story time. Unless you wanna be outside shovelling snow."
"I pick stories."
It doesn't take long for her to finish breakfast, and soon enough we're snuggled under blankets on the couch, with me talking with my hands again.
—∞—
I was lucky Elsa came home when she did. I might have passed out from being upside down too long if she'd been much later. She looked at me, rubbing her temples, probably not quite sure it was real. And there I was, stuck somehow in the attic stairs and the hatch, my phone barely a finger-length away from me on the floor. The accident may or may not have involved a case of texting while walking and forgetting about the pull cord on the hatch. I told Elsa as much when she managed to look me in the eye with a straight—well, less disapproving—face.
I've said in the past we weren't huge on extra attention when things went wrong, but this time hands were placed to extract me and help me up where hands didn't strictly need to be placed. I returned the courtesy. She pulled me into a tight hug—just to pin my hands, I was sure.
"At least my life will not be dull when you are my wife."
I blanked completely. I saw Elsa waving her hand in front of me, but I couldn't quite react. She'd said 'wife'. And she was completely serious. For me, then, it was a lot to process.
"Anniken?" I tried to give her a happy smile. It didn't work. She turned around, muttering. "I said 'wife', and I think I broke her. I mean one day, but we're girlfriends, and maybe she wasn't quite ready to hear that and—"
There were several deep breaths. Then the sound of a facepalm.
"I understand. I know why she does it now."
"I am," I spoke quite clearly, imperiously even. "Right here. Thank you very much."
"Oh, good, your brain has rebooted." She turned back to kiss me on the cheek. "I did not mean to scare you."
I shook my head. "I'm not afraid of it, it's just… well actually, we've known each other how long now?"
"Seven months, I think," I couldn't quite figure out the look she was giving me. "I could tell you the exact time—my watch broke when you hit me."
I just shook my head again. "Seven months is close enough."
"And I am thinking that soon enough one of us might propose—or perhaps might wait for an especially romantic day."
A memory flashed through my mind, from that time I'd gone jewellery shopping for her. "I have thought about putting a ring on your finger, not gonna lie."
Mischief shone behind her eyes. "May the best proposal win?"
"Wait, what?"
She laughed, leading me down the stairs. "We can talk more over lunch, I think. It has been a busy morning."
We talked about little things, going about our business making lunch. It was just a quiet afternoon, and not having any responsibilities, we decided to spend it on the couch, curled up together. I liked being close to her. More than liked, but that was obvious. It was something special about moments like this. Safe, calm, the world pushed far away until it was only us. And sometimes, like in those early mornings, Elsa would let down her guard, just for a little while. I was learning to do the same—less 'no filter', and more 'I feel… because…' kind of thing.
"Anna?" Elsa's voice was soft.
"Mhm?"
"What do you think it would be like to be immortal?"
I blinked, and pulled back just a bit. That had thrown me. "You mean, with my energy?"
"Or with anyone," she smiled, pulling me closer. "What sort of choices would you make?"
"Wiser ones, I'd hope," I looked sideways for a moment, thinking. "Or, knowing my luck, falling into a hole and having someone think I'm an enchanted well or something."
"What about being old enough to see the pyramids?"
I waved a hand—as much as I could while we were bundled up anyway. "Missed it, stuck in Madagascar."
"Must everything be a joke with you?" She sounded exasperated, which was odd for what I thought was just a playful question.
"If you wanted serious, you should have said—you know the rule."
She bowed her head and sighed. "I do. It is my own fault, sometimes."
"Don't be so hard on yourself," I kissed her neck. "Besides, I get the feeling you wanted to ask something else."
"Sort of," her voice had a wistful note, almost regretful. I couldn't figure out why. "I was just thinking about how hard it would be for an immortal that fell in love with a mortal."
"Why?"
"Because if they loved someone so fiercely, and then that person died—and a mortal is always going to die—why would they do it again? Why suffer so much pain?"
"Because love is worth it; isn't it?" I looked her straight in the eye.
"But how many times, how many losses? Wouldn't they go mad, or wonder if any of it was worthwhile?" She held my gaze as she spoke. "What if they just shut themselves off from all the pain?"
"You think they'd stop loving mortals, because their lives are too short?" I rested my forehead against hers. "And after knowing love once, why wouldn't they try again?"
I thought I heard a sniff when she replied. "Wouldn't their hearts by hardened by so much grief—too much sorrow for one person to handle?"
"It would make their love stronger." I don't why my voice had such conviction. "They know it's not going to last; know it's going to hurt. Their heart might ache for years, but once they look back, seeing those happy times, don't you think they'd want to try having that again?"
"But Anna, every single time they fell in love with a mortal, they would know the coming pain," I thought I heard another sniff. I opened my eyes to see hers brimming with tears. "Why not find another immortal?"
"Because love just isn't like that. You can't just choose not to love someone. And what about all the good they could work together? What about making one life richer, just for having known love for a moment? What about children, giving that love back to them? Wouldn't that be worth it?"
I saw the tears silently rolling down her cheeks. I had no idea what was wrong, but I pulled her into a tight hug. A quiet whisper in my ear. "Am I worth it?"
"Idiot," I headbutted her softly. "You should already know you are."
"But…"
I kissed her, softly, just to silence her. "The pain might kill me, but I'd rather suffer a thousand times more than lose my love for you."
The tears flowed freely, but I just lay there with her, a rock in the storm of her emotions.
"Also, there was a time I nearly died just to see you again." I think it was the deadpan delivery that did it.
"You… I… Anna…" she gave me a dark, concerned look. "That is not something for joking."
"Well maybe not, but I had to bring you back to me somehow, and I thought maybe this thing, and it's probably good for my recovery if I'm not terrified of bringing it up and then I figured you'd disapprove but it'd be totally worth it at least once and maybe I'm crazy but I'm pretty sure it worked and now we can talk about something else if you want."
She sat up a little straighter, and wiped away the last of her tears. "Thank you, Anniken. There aren't enough people like you."
"Genki engineers in love with dying lesbians?"
She laughed so hard she nearly fell off the couch. There may have been a few tears—of a different kind. Taking a quick breath she turned to me. "That is not what I meant."
I smiled, shifting sideways. "But am I wrong?"
She opened her mouth to say something then shut it again. She started something else, but still couldn't get it out. In the end she just shook her head.
"And just thinking about immortals, I'm suddenly reminded that vampires always look so sexy, and if I'm the immortal then I really wanna try, even if it's just for you."
"I'm thinking you would turn into a fruit bat." She laughed again. Rabbit, meet headlights.
"Hey!" I frowned, thinking quickly. Are they the fluffy ones?
"Fruit bats are cute, look." Elsa grabbed her phone and showed me a picture. Upside down, but the bat was certainly quite cute. Weird, but the snout was so much like a dog, and the fuzzy/fluffy fur everywhere. I figured if I was going to turn into something, that wasn't the worst one she could have picked for me.
"Okay, okay, so I'm a fruit bat—but I'm not cute I want—how do I sexy looking when I'm… umm… how do I make myself look… gyah! Vampire hotness?" I just facepalmed. I had words, I swear. I also had that problem where I tried to use all of them. At once.
Laughing, Elsa pulled up another picture on her phone. "You wear a corset."
Of course it was her wearing it, and it was bridal white. I swallowed hard. The only other piece of clothing in that picture was a pair of lace briefs. Briefs clearly not being worn. It was a very artfully done shot, and I was most certainly not prepared for it. And it showed.
"Anna?"
"You just keep that on your phone?"
She just looked at me sideways. "Where else would I keep it?"
"Also, why?"
"Because I did a boudoir set for Yuriko once. And I really liked this one. It is not like I am showing anything 'naughty'."
I just gave her a look. "You can be such a prude, and then things like this…"
"Because I trust you, and anyway, just look at the corset." She zoomed in on the picture to show me just the corset. And maybe 'accidentally' her very nice butt. She wanted me to look.
So I did.
The corset was interesting, with laces going all the way up the back. It also went down, just over her hips. There was a simple geometric pattern on it, starting from each hip, and the points where the back met at the top. Lines and rays, fading out to the middle. And in the front—well, from what I could see past her raised arm—it also did a bit of work holding things up. I looked down, between hers and mine. I could do with that sort of help, but I wasn't totally sure I could pull off that kind of look. So she threw me another curveball.
"It's in my closet."
