The room was dark except for the faint glow of his clock. In the silence Jim could hear every breath Sy took. Sy had fallen asleep sometime around eleven, but Jim was unable to settle his mind long enough to join him.
What could he have done differently to help Braxton? Was there anything he could have said to have prevented this? Maybe he should have gone up to see Gray with Matt and Braxton. Perhaps if he'd been there Braxton wouldn't have been so reactive. Maybe he could have stopped Braxton. Maybe Braxton wouldn't have had to walk up at all and none of this would have happened and he'd have been at dinner with them talking and laughing and planning his next conflict with Stalkenew like usual.
"Jim?"
Sy's sleepy voice cut into his troubled, frantic thoughts. His boyfriend lifted his head and blinked at him through the near dark.
"Go back to sleep, Sy," Jim whispered soothingly. He rolled onto his side facing his boyfriend. "Everything's okay."
Sy snuggled back in again, his face tucked in near Jim's throat. "Your heart's racing," he mumbled against Jim's skin.
"I'm okay," Jim reassured him again in a whisper. He draped his arm over Sy's shoulders.
"Okay." Sy sighed as his whole body relaxed. He snaked an arm up over Jim's ribs to pull them closer together.
Jim couldn't help his smile. Even when more asleep than awake, somehow Sy always seemed to know exactly what he needed. He gently kissed the top of his head, the soft smell of soap and Sy enveloping him in as warm an embrace as the one he and Sy were entwined in.
"I love you."
The whisper was soft. So soft, Jim wasn't even sure he'd heard it. But the twisting of his stomach and the snake of warmth curling around his heart were undeniable reassurances that he had. Those three words, three they hadn't dared say before, were echoing through his mind like the reverberations of a gong in a canyon.
His again sleeping boyfriend might as well have just given him the world.
It was exactly what he'd needed. Jim's body relaxed and he closed his eyes to savor the sound of it.
Jim opened his eyes a moment later as his alarm sounded through his room. He reached across his boyfriend to slam his hand onto the snooze button.
Sy hadn't even moved.
Jim didn't remember falling asleep. He sort of wished he hadn't woken up. Just over five hours of sleep was not going to be enough to get him through the day. He closed his eyes again so he could try and get those last few precious moments of sleep before the alarm went off again.
Two snoozes later and Jim finally sat up. Beside him Sy stretched and moaned, equally as reluctant to leave the warmth of their bed. Neither of them were ready to start the new day.
The new era. An era of peace and quiet. An era of uninterrupted study the night before a test. An era of knowing your dessert would remain on your dinner tray until you went to eat it. An era of never second guessing a gift from a friend.
An era without Braxton.
Jim never wanted to see this day come. How was he ever going to get through the rest of this year without Braxton keeping things exciting?
Morph floated up off his pillow with a large yawn. If he weren't a shapeshifter, Jim would have been worried about just how wide he could stretch his jaw. The small creature chittered softly and flew over to nuzzle up against Sy's cheek.
Sy laughed. "Morph, I'm awake, I'm awake, I promise."
Jim leaned over to kiss the top of Sy's head. "He just wants to be sure you're doing okay. He's going to miss Braxton, too. Trouble makers gotta stick together and all."
Maybe if he had time to see Braxton again before he left he'd give him Morph to take care of until school was out. He could see about taking a detour past whatever planet Braxton decided to go to in order to pick Morph up before heading home for the break.
Sy offered him a small smile. "I have faith."
Jim felt his heart swelling. That was one of the things he loved about Sy; he was always positive, no matter what the situation. How could you not love someone like that?
And he did love Sy. They hadn't really said that before, not before last night. Jim wasn't even positive Sy remembered that he'd said it, though. This wasn't the sort of thing he could just blurt out first thing in the morning. He had to handle the situation delicately, find the right time to tell Sy. It had to be special the first time they really said it to each other.
It had to be perfect.
He was absently aware of Sy preparing to head out for the morning. A portion of his mind registered the kiss on his cheek and soft 'love you' that his boyfriend parted with, but the majority of his focus was on how to set up the exact perfect situation so they could have their ideal moment. Sy deserved nothing less than perfection.
Jim grabbed his tablet and opened his group chat with Matt and Braxton. They always had good advice. His finger hovered over the keypad, but he couldn't bring himself to type anything out. He didn't want to see the lack of a reply from Braxton.
He closed his messages again without having sent anything. He'd talk to Matt in person later. It would be less painful than seeing Braxton ever answering him again.
AN: 100 chapters! Can you believe it!? 100! I love you all for coming along on this journey with me.
and speaking of that, first I love you from the boys! Ah! Look how cute they are! I love that they decided to do this on their 100th chapter. I can't wait to see where they take us next.
