President Saitou has a problem…
Hikigaya Hachiman discovered a new fear in his life: being the only boy in a room full of girls around his age. A lowly rabbit caged with a pack of starving hyenas. His only solace was that hidden skill: Stealth Hachi, worked as expected. He blended in perfectly into an unused back corner of the practice room with President Saitou and made sure that he blocked him from vision.
President Saitou muttered quietly, "What do you think?"
"I think I'm wholly uncomfortable. I'm with a middle-aged man watching a group of middle-school girls dance, how would this be anything but creepy?"
"It's fine, they all work for me. Plus they're cute and talented so if you like watching them just say so."
Hachiman couldn't disagree as his eyes involuntarily roamed. He was a teenage boy and the sight of several girls around his age dancing in front of him was tantalizing. Not that he'd ever admit it. Hachiman didn't need any more reasons for girls to call him a creep. "...How did you convince any of them to work with you when you say things like that?"
"It's not like that at all. Besides, you see something's wrong already, don't you?"
"Nn…" Hachiman agreed.
President Saitou's face curled into a grimace, "That bad? What do you see?"
"Tch, does it matter what I see?"
"I have a gut feeling that it does, and I've learned to trust my gut."
"Should a President of a company really do that?"
"That gut feeling led me to Ai."
Hachiman snorted, "Fair enough. The tension in this room is a mess. I feel even more awkward than normal, it's a wonder that they're able to even practice at all." His eyes land on Ai, "Hoshino is naturally taking space in the center, however only Takamine, Watanabe and Ninomiya are anywhere near her. Even then, they're a line behind Ai. Everyone else is about as far as comfortably allowed from them." He trailed off and looked at President Saitou.
President Saitou nodded, "Go on."
Hachiman looked around, "This practice studio is on the smaller side- it should fit about sixteen students but there's only fifteen." He pointed at a small group on the side, "There's a small gap in between those two girls, as if they're used to someone else being in the middle. You fired someone recently." He watched as the girls hurled glares at Hoshino, and his fists clenched. "It seems like there was a bullying problem."
"We have a zero tolerance for bullying in the studio- it's written in every contract."
"I bet those shallow bitches just believe it's favoritism rather than a standard procedure."
"Language." President Saitou sighed, "And correct. How old are you again? Do you want a part-time job? You'd make an amazing PA, especially if you pull off my request."
"Not old enough, and hell no. This is already too much work as is. I'm only doing this because-"
"Hikigaya-senpai?" A voice called out. What the hell, Hachiman could've sworn that they were in the middle of a set. His gaze met Ai's bright eyes as she broke off in the middle of the routine to approach the pair. The other girls had to move out of her way as she cut through their lines.
One of the girls whispered, "That's Hikigaya Hachiman?"
Ai stopped in front of the pair and adopted a thinking pose, "It is you! Let me guess, you've finally fallen for my charm. So much so that you followed me all the way to the studio?"
"Hah? Fall for your nonexistent charm? Not a chance in hell! And where's your sense of professionalism? Don't just wander off in the middle of a routine!"
Ai put a fist to her head and stuck out her tongue, "Oopsies~ I just saw Hikigaya-senpai and got too excited! Does that make you happy?"
Hachiman scoffed, "As if that would. Stop saying weird things Ho-" President Saitou painfully nudged Hachiman in the side, "Ai-san."
Hachiman and President Saitou stood in his office. President Saitou crossed his arms firmly, "While you're here, there's going to be some ground rules: First off, no phone usage at any time unless I give explicit permission."
Hachiman nods in agreement, it made sense- if he were a normie he might've been tempted to take pictures or videos and accidentally leak them. If not that, then out right posting it on social media. Good thing he wasn't a normie.
"Secondly, you can't call her Hoshino, only Ai."
That earned a raised eyebrow from Hachiman, "Why not? Are you trying to make my life hell? Do you know what she'd do to me if I just started using her name like that? I don't, and that terrifies me."
"None of the other talents know her family name and we'd like to keep it like that. Anything else sounds like a 'you' problem."
"I've changed my mind- can I go home?"
"Denied. The final rule would usually be 'don't talk to the talent,' but we both know that Ai wouldn't let that happen. Instead, you have free reign to talk to all of them."
"Why?"
President Saitou hummed, "I have a request for you, and I think you can fulfill it-"
Ai stopped mid step and processed what he just said. A cheshire grin formed on her face, "Oh are we finally close enough to call each other more familiarly? Ha. Chi. Sen. Pai~"
Critical hit. Hachiman's face flushed red, and he growled, "You know damn well why I said that! And who said you could use that kind of nickname? I'd prefer it if you just forgot my name altogether!"
Ai giggled and started patting his shoulder, "Too late Hachi-senpai~" Behind her a wall of middle-school girls formed, all curiously analyzing Hachiman. "But why're you here then?"
Hachiman shook off her touch, "What'd I say about touching me you brat? I'm going to sue you for harassment! I won't take anything less than 200,000 yen as a settlement." Hachiman shot a 'Help Me' look to President Saitou who laughed at his misfortune. "And this guy can explain."
"Now Hikigaya-kun, there's no need for that." President Saitou said. He turned his attention to the conglomeration of girls, "This here is Hikigaya Hachiman, and for the next few weeks he will be acting as a 'Consultant'. Please, get along with him and feel free to talk to him."
"What?" Hachiman deadpanned.
"Eh?" A chorus of voices echoed through the room.
Ai smiled.
Hachiman realized a new worst fear. He wasn't getting paid for this was he?
… and he thinks Hikigaya Hachiman is the solution.
Omake
"You realize that I'm too young to be working an unpaid internship?"
"Eh, you're too young to be paid anyways so what's the harm in 'volunteering'?"
…
"You're actually scum that's lower than the earth. I hope your wife leaves you for another younger, more attractive man."
"That's a little too much isn't it?"
"Tell your wife to wait three more years and I'll give her a call."
"I'm gonna kill you, you damned brat."
A/N
Just further setting the scene here, nothing much to say. Well, except that President Saitou realizes that there's a problem in his company, and that Hikigaya might be able to help out. This chapter was extremely hard for me to write for some reason, and I don't know why. I won't blame y'all for saying it's lower quality than usual. I really wanted to add more Hachiman and Ai banter but couldn't fit into how this was structured. Likewise I try to show and not tell when it comes to writing, but making Hachiman clever and analytical is a pain in the ass. It feels forced and ugly but I'm doing my best to highlight these traits.
Next B-Komachi chapter will focus on helping Ai build meaningful friendships with the other members using typical Hachiman methods.
Ah well, the next chapter is probably on Thursday and will probably step away from the current 'Arc'.
Side Rant - I view characters as vehicles to deliver a story- I usually use it for context. It can be seen especially in the Nino and Saitou POV chapters. If I don't use a character, it's because they don't bring what I need at that moment. A pet peeve of mine is when a large cast of characters are introduced but they're only used as filler rather than include anything meaningful with their involvement.
