Even after all of his changes…

Submitted Report

'Looking Back on High School Life'

Class 2F Hachiman Hikigaya

Youth is a lie. It is nothing but a prelude to life filled with endless days of indentured servitude, "Wage Slaves," shackled by corporations that give pennies off a dollar. Those who rejoice in youth are perpetually deceiving yourselves and those around you. Even now, students are imprisoned within four walls, forced to do meaningless and mundane tasks- trained to become cogs and gears within the corporate ladder. Tests meant to show results much like submitting projects or works to angry and ungrateful middle managers. Group assignments and clubs used to emulate working alongside coworkers where you must learn to socialize, cooperate and appease others. Even the few precious hours not in attendance at school are eaten up by homework and studies; analogous to mandatory overtime. If even those fleeting moments that are supposedly dedicated to our freetime are stripped, how could anyone look at these days fondly if they were not lying to themselves?

Yet when asked, most reflect upon those days with nostalgia claiming that those moments were the best times of their lives- when they could make mistakes without much consequences. Fail an exam, get rejected by a girl, or bully some undeserving kid. It's all okay, it's just indiscretions of youth afterall. Unless it is someone else's failure, in which case feel free to deride them for years to come.

Such contradictory and hypocritical statements are important to experience in youth. It is all a sham, fraudulent and full of damnable lies. It is a mirror of the corruption of society and corporate life as a whole. In the end, all of these experiences amount to nothing. Thus, all those who celebrate that so-called "youth," are all reprehensible and liars. Those people are evil, so those who realize the world as it is but don't participate must be good.

In conclusion, high school is simply an unpaid internship at a company. Therefore, I quit.

"... Hikigaya, what the hell am I reading?"

Hikigaya Hachiman is still rotten.


Omake

"Hiratsuka-sensei, how are you still single?"

"Are you trying to get punched? That's a good way of asking to be punched- actually just hold still. There's a bug on your face that needs to be squashed. With my fist."

"How can a teacher be this violent?"

"How can a student be such a smartass?"

"I'm being serious, you have it all: good taste in manga, pretty features and a caring personality. If you just stopped smoking you'd be the perfect package. How are you not beating men off with a stick?"

"Hah, sweet-nothings from a high schooler won't do anything for me. I've heard it all before, most guys say sweet nothings but in the end they'll find someone else and I'll still be here single."

"That's because the guys you meet don't have taste. Just wait two more years and I'll say it again so you know I mean every word."

Hiratsuka-sensei dropped her cigarette.

Hachiman froze in place.

"I'm sorry, old habits kicked in."


A/N

Surprise? I just penned up this idea during my lunch break. Just a demonstration that even though Hachiman changes, he is still Hachiman. Speaking of breaks, I needed to clear my head out of writing nothing but B-Komachi. Don't take this chapter seriously at all.

I'm saddened that my entire writing of the last chapter has been reduced to an interaction that took me literally 30 seconds to think and write. However I shall embrace it, Hachiman now has a terrible habit of flirting with older women. Yuigamama and Yukimama better watch out.