Hogarth sipped at his coffee as he followed Varian outside into the morning sunlight. He'd accidentally filled his cup up with the coffee intended for medium statured youth today, rather than at the tall statured's station. He'd been so distracted with the whole situation that he'd just followed his friends and done what they did.
The coffee wasn't bad. It was lacking some of the bitterness that his usual cup could have, which was a nice change of pace, he supposed. He wasn't feeling quite as energetic as he usually did, though it was enough to keep away his morning headaches.
He'd learned very quickly that a lack of coffee led to really bad headaches. Apparently if one drank enough caffeine, one could get a bit of a dependency on it.
The boy beside him was also lacking in energy. Hogarth had never known Varian to be one to drink coffee, though. The young alchemist appeared to stay awake out of sheer force of will and excitement for scientific discovery.
"Do you want a sip?"
"Hmm?" Varian looked over, though he didn't appear to see his friend. "Oh. No thanks. I'm busy."
"You sure?" Hogarth took another small sip himself. They stayed close to the wall of the stables, hugging the shadows so as not to be seen. "It's still hot, I filled it up right before we left the cafeteria. It's the stuff meant for our size, as well."
Varian shook his head. "I said no thank you. I have work to do."
"Well, if you change your mind…"
"I have declined three times now, can we just leave it?"
Hogarth frowned. "Excuse me for offering."
"You're excused." Varian snapped. His hand drifted towards the various bottles of colorful liquid he kept strapped around his hips. He stopped himself before he could grab one, shaking his head and mumbling something under his breath about being better than that.
Hogarth was really starting to get worried. "Sy's going to be fine."
"Of course he is." Varian stared straight ahead, not bothering to look at his companion. "It's a routine kidnapping. I've been through this a few times on both ends of the situation. No reason to panic, we'll find him and get this sorted. Honestly his chances aren't half bad, seeing as how I wasn't involved in any of this."
"So, if that's not what's got you tense, what has? You're acting like the soldiers that returned from the war." Hogarth ventured hesitantly. Varian shot him a look that was an odd mixture of irritation and curiosity. Hogarth shrugged, not sure how to explain his question. He just hadn't had a better way to explain it. How else would you describe someone that seemed trapped in the past while living in the present? "You've been acting weird since we went to Mellow's room. You gonna tell me what's going on, or should I keep finding ways to bother you until you talk to me?"
Varian's shoulders slumped. "Standing amber."
Hogarth just blinked. He had no idea what any of this had to do with Varian's mood.
Thankfully, the young alchemist seemed inclined to elaborate. "I have worked…significantly with Amber, but somehow I have never heard of standing amber. This force, the thing that keeps us bound to the wall-" Varian pressed his palm to the nearby stable wall, pausing to stare at the arachnistrap he still wore.
Hogarth touched his shoulder gently. "No one can know everything about any one object."
"But I should!" The ferocity at which Varian spoke took Hogarth completely off guard. Hogarth recoiled as if slapped, despite the fact that the young alchemist hadn't moved. Hadn't even twitched. He was still standing completely still, one hand raised above his head.
"I should know everything. I have to know everything! I made it, it was all my fault! People could have died! I should have listened to my father. I just wanted to help, I just wanted…I thought she'd help me. I was helping her!"
Hogarth drew in a deep breath and hesitantly set it on Varian's shoulder again.
Varian's hand clenched into a fist. "I read every book I could find. I tried everything. Nothing fixed it. I couldn't do it on my own. I still don't have the answers. If it should ever happen again, if anything should ever come of it, I don't have a solution. I can't save him. Even the princess can't save him now. I have to know everything, so it never happens again."
Varian's head hung low, his whole body tense with emotion. His shoulders shook and his eyes were squinched shut as he struggled to contain the tears that escaped. His voice was hardly more than a tortured whisper. "He's dead. No one can survive like that. He can't breathe, can't drink, can't eat. He can't survive like that. He can't be dead."
Hogarth reached up and took Varian's fist with his free hand. Carefully he pulled it from the wall, slowly lowering it to a more comfortable height. He didn't have a plan, exactly, but he knew he had to do something to snap his friend out of this.
Gently he slipped his thumb into Varian's fist and slowly uncurled his fingers. He pressed Varian's palm against his chest, covering the back of his hand with his own. He didn't say anything. What could he say to that? Instead he simply stayed there, letting Varian feel his breath, his heartbeat. Letting his friend feel life.
Varian drew in a slow, shaky breath. He turned from the wall to face Hogarth instead. His cheeks were stained with tears. Somehow he looked younger. Lost, scared. A child alone in a snowstorm. A child completely alone.
Hogarth released Varian's hand to instead wrap both arms around him, pulling him into his chest and just holding him there, surrounding him with his warmth. There wasn't much he could do to fix the past, but he could help the present. And he would do anything he could to help.
Varian's breath evened out slowly.
"Are you feeling any better?"
"Yes. I'm sorry about this. The station doctors said they would like me to start some medication, but I haven't finished studying the compounds and effects on the brain yet. Biological chemistry is fascinating, but takes a lot of time."
"You'll have to tell me about it later," Hogarth answered with almost a smile. Normally, he would smile. There was just one problem. He cleared his throat before hesitantly issuing his warning.
"Just so you know, there's a large white horse staring at us. I think he's about ready to arrest me."
