Rory was putting pillows and blankets on the couch for her dad. Anna was sitting on the armchair watching her. Lorelai walks into the room with two mugs filled with coffee in her hands. "He looks good don't you think?" Rory asks her mom.

"He looks good." She agrees.

"I like his hair shorter." Rory grabs a blanket to put on the couch for him.

"Short is nice." Lorelai nods.

"Do you think he'll stay long?" She asks.

"Wouldn't bet a lot of money on it," Lorelai said.

"I say two nights in the house and he'll be in the area for a week tops." Anna guessed.

"Maybe we can get him to stay for a couple of weeks." Rory ignores them to continue with her optimism.

"Absolutely... by weighing him down with blankets," Lorelai watched as her oldest put down a fluffy pink blanket on top of a pile of blankets.

"I just want him to be comfortable." She put down a knitted blanket.

"He's going to come and go as he pleases babe, you know that." Lorelai didn't want her getting her hopes too high.

"Yeah, I know." Rory fluffs up a pillow for him.

"And no amount of bedding is going to change that." She sighs.

"Yeah, but he's never been to Stars Hollow before." Rory put down another blanket.

"That says a lot about him, doesn't it? Don't give him credit for doing the basics, Rory?" Anna put her feet up on the coffee table.

"It means something's got to be different." Rory could see that he was putting more of an effort in and no one could tell her differently.

"Why don't you just enjoy the time you've got, okay?" Lorelai said, making Anna huff. So, now they were supposed to be glad about anything the man gave them.

"Yeah, okay. I still think something is different though." She insisted.

"That is the worst shower I have ever had. Water pressure keeps changing every two seconds. I'm fixing it tomorrow." Christopher came down with a gray shirt, sweatpants, and a red towel wrap around his neck.

"You can fix a shower?" Anna asks.

"Yeah, of course," He chuckles while looking through his bag.

"Hey, you stay away from my shower," Lorelai warns him.

"We ordered Chinese food. It should be here any minute." Rory informs.

"Good, I'm starving." He took out a toothbrush and puts it on top of the duffle bag for later.

"Here," Lorelai walks over to hand him a mug of coffee. She took a seat on the couch by the window.

"Hey, how's Diane?" Rory asks about the last girlfriend they knew about.

"Uh, Diane is ancient history." He groans in disgust.

"When I met her at Easter you said she could be the one," Rory remembers how he went on and on about her.

"The one to be gone by Memorial Day," He took a seat next to Lorelai.

"So like a month." Anna looks back at him.

"A little less than that," He made a face like the thought of being with Diane for a month was too much.

"You're worse than mom." Rory shook her head.

"Low blow," Lorelai gasps.

"Can't keep a feller happy?" Christopher teases.

"Oh, I keep them happy. I keep them very happy." She wiggled her eyebrows.

"Yeah, the men can't keep her happy. Don't worry mom, when you're 40 you'll meet a 20 something-year-old stud that keeps you satisfied." Anna defends her mother.

"A girl can dream." Lorelai looks off to imagine.

"Okay, now. Don't get gross." Rory made a face at the thought of their mom going out with someone closer to their age than hers.

"Yeah, you're upsetting us." Christopher took a sip of his coffee with a smile.

"I'm going to go study before the food gets here." Rory folds up the last blanket that she decides not to use.

"What? Tomorrow's Saturday." He asks, clearly not knowing his daughter.

"I know, I like to get my weekend homework done and out of the way by Saturday night so then I can do extra-credit stuff on Sunday." She walks off with the blanket in her hands.

"I'm going to call Tristan." Anna got up to pick up the cordless house phone and take it up to her room. She ignores her dad asking who Tristan was. She dialed his number as she walked into her room.

"Hello Bobcat," His voice came over the phone as she shut her door.

"Hey Malfoy, how is Chanticleer?" She asks about his chick.

"I didn't name him that." He scoffs.

"Rock-a-Doodle is a good movie." She defends the name.

"I didn't get a choice in you naming your duck, Puddles." She could practically hear him rolling his eyes at the generic name.

"It's a cute name. When it rains, I'm going to get a picture of her playing in an actual puddle and it will be adorable." She reminds herself to check the weather channel later. There was a knock on the door. "Just a second, someone is at my door." She got up to open the door to see Rory.

"Hey, I invite dad to softball tomorrow. Do you want to come? Is that Tristan on the phone, you should invite him too." She points to the phone in her hands.

"Why would I or Tristan go to a softball game?" She put the speaker part close to her chest, not wanting him to hear about her dad being in town.

"Because Dean is both of your friends and Tristan is your boyfriend, so he should meet your dad." She said slowly not understanding why Anna wouldn't want to go.

"I'll think about it." She closed the door and put the phone back to her ear. "How much did you hear?"

"I don't know if I would call Dean a friend, he's cool and all but I wouldn't hang out with him by myself," Tristan said, making her hope that he didn't hear the second part. "And I do want to meet your dad."

"Why? He comes once a year at the most. There is no need to get attached to him." She sighs.

"Am I hearing some daddy issues?" He teases.

"I don't have issues. I have a great father figure, his name is Luke. Christopher is my sperm donor that my mom lets into our lives out of guilt." She snaps.

"Whoa, sorry doesn't sound like you have issues with him at all." His tone was dripping with sarcasm.

"Look, if you want to meet him you can? Just be here tomorrow morning." She hangs up the phone.


Anna, Rory, and Chris were walking out of the house when a Porsche pulled up. "Who got the fancy ride?" He let out a low whistle.

"Tristan, Anna's boyfriend," Rory told him.

"Thank you, Rory." Anna rolls her eyes. "Hey, I didn't know you were coming?" She yells when she sees the door open and the teen steps out.

"Wasn't sure I could get up this early on a Saturday, but here I am." He walks over to them. He had to stop from saying that she didn't know because she hung upon him. But, as much as she said her father's opinion didn't matter, he figured it was better for the guy to like him.

"Dad, this is Tristan. Tristan, this is my dad." Anna introduces them.

"Hey, nice ride," He stuck his hand out to the young man.

"Thanks, it was a gift for my 16th birthday." He shook the man's hand.

"My parents did the same for me. I crash mine two hours after getting it, so you're doing way better than me." Chris tried not to freak out by feeling like he was looking at his younger self. He didn't want his daughter going out with a guy like that.

"I couldn't speed with this one in my car even if I wanted too." He pats Anna on the head. She elbowed him to get his hand off her. "It's like a mosquito bite." He laughs as he dodges her tiny fists.

"So annoying," She huffs.

"You love me." He pulls her into a tight hug and kisses her all over her face.

"They're always that sickeningly sweet." Rory took her father's face for being gross-out instead of freak out. The guy was putting the same moves on his daughter that he used to pull on Lorelai. "Come on, let's get going." Rory walks out of their yard and to the park.


They were walking along the fences of the baseball field. Luke was pitching. "So which is your Dean?" He asks.

"That's him over there." She points to the teen walking up to the plate.

"And that's Luke." Anna points to her boss.

"Luke's the diner guy?" Chris asks.

"If you want to put it simply, yes, we eat there practically every day." She scoffs. Rory pinches her arm to silently tell her to be nice. They sat down on the bleachers in front of Kirk.

"Looks like we got out number three coming to the plate guys," Kirk yells.

"I'd send your boys a little farther into the field Luke." Dean points his bat at the outfield.

"Why? Will they have a better view of you whiffing?" Luke asks.

"You know, the only way I'm not hitting it is if you don't have the strength to get it over the plate." Dean points down to the plate.

"The truth of the matter is that you can't pitch." He points to Luke. "And you can't hit. So this will be a terrific matchup." He points at Dean.

"Knock it off Kirk," Luke warns him.

"A historic lack of action," Kirk yells.

"Don't you have anything better to do with your Saturdays?" Luke glares at the annoying man.

"What can I say, I'm addicted to comedy." He let out a fake laugh. "Half an hour they've been playing and it's tied zero-zero." He told the group in front of him. "Hey if you ever take this show on the road I got a name for you, zero and zero. Dean Zero and Luke Zero, get it?" He yells out to the field.

"Doesn't even resemble clever," Luke hadn't pitched once because he was too busy arguing with Kirk.

"I'm dumb it down for you Alfalfa," Kirk yells.

"Kirk I think you should remember, he can beat you up and he makes your food. Not the guy you want to piss off." Anna looks back at the awkward male.

"Please, I saw how he swings the bat, I'll be fine." He waved his hands.

"Yeah, cause you know karate." Tristan winks at him.

"Exactly, you remember that too." He winks back at him. Anna shook her head as she faced forward.

"How long do these games last?" Chris asks Rory.

"Until they get tired and then they say the first team to get a run wins." She told him.

"Yeah, it's real professional down there. Hey Luke, does your husband play softball too?" Kirk heckled him for the last time.

"Alright, that's it." Luke throws his glove down and starts for the bleachers.

"Um...I'm getting a page. I've got to go." Kirk jumps off the bleachers and starts running.

Dean comes over to Rory. "Hey."

"Hey. Dean, this is my dad. Dad, this is Dean." She introduced them.

"Dean." He stood up to shake his hand.

"Uh, nice to meet you," Dean nods a little surprised. He didn't even know that Rory talks to her father.

"Same here," Chris smiled.

"So do you live in the area?" Dean tried small talk.

"No, I had some time so I rode my bike out from Berkley," Chris told him.

"Really? What do you have?" He asks.

"It's a 2000's Indian," Rory repeats what her mother said.

"I got an '86 Suzuki." Dean nods.

"I have to update my mom," Anna whispers to Tristan.

"Or you could not tell her." He shrugs.

"She'll see him eventually riding it around." She figures she was still keeping a big secret from her, so she should keep Rory's too.

"Nice!" Chris nods.

"Dean comes on!" Luke yells. He was back from chasing Kirk off.

"I got to go. I'll see you later." He smiles down at Rory. "It was nice meeting you." He nods to Chris before runs onto the field.

"So that was a Dean?" Chris sat down.

"That was a Dean?" Rory nods.

"Hey, uh, next run wins alright?" Dean ran up to the mount to tell Luke.

"Yeah, alright," He nods.


Rory and Anna were giving their dad a tour of the town. Tristan left to go hang out with his friends. He figures the girls deserve some bonding time with him by themselves. "This is the town flower shop. Um, over there is a good pizza place. That's the stationery store and that's Al's Pancake World." Rory was leading their group throughout the town.

"Good pancakes?" Chris nods to the last place she points at.

"Oh, he doesn't serve pancakes," Anna told him.

"Okay." He nods, confused.

"He switched to international cuisine a couple of years ago and dropped the pancakes. He would've changed the name but he had already printed like a million napkins with the original name so he just kept it." Rory explains.

"What kind of international cuisine?" Chris wonders.

"He hops around. Last month it was his salute to Paraguay." Rory told him.

"I wish he would stick to Mexican. He's nachos were amazing." Anna rubs her stomach.

"Oh yeah, the burrito was mind-blowing." Rory hummed.

"Anyone salute back to Paraguay?" Chris asks.

"Not really." They shook their heads.

"Rory! Honey! How are you, sweetie?" Miss Patty came up to them.

"Great. Miss Patty, this is my dad, Christopher." Rory introduces them.

"Your dad," She smiles as she shakes his hand.

"Nice to meet you," He smiled at her.

"You're their father, well, well, well. You know Christopher, we're all like Rory and Anna's parents around here and I'm one of their mothers. And since you're their father, well that would make us...a couple. A couple of what I don't know." She let out a flirty laugh and reached out to pat his chest. Anna put a hand over her mouth to stop from laughing. Rory's embarrassment, her dad's shock, and Patty's smile were too much for her to handle.

"Okay, well we've got to be going." Rory gently pushes her hand down.

"Yes well, come back and see me." She looks up at him through her lashes.

"I will." He nods.

"Bye." The small group wave bye to the woman as they cross the street.

As they were walking past the market, Taylor came out to greet them. "Well, you must be Rory's father."

"Uh, yes I am." Christopher nods his hand.

"Taylor Doose, grocer to Stars Hollow." Taylor put his hand out.

"Very nice to meet you," He shook his hand before they kept walking. "News travels fast around here." He whispers to them.

"The same thing happened to Tristan when I gave him a tour of the town. I bet if we turn around he'll be on his phone." They turn around to see that Anna was right.

"Bookstore, good, come on." Christopher opens the door to Stars Hollow Books Store.

"Hey, hey, Christopher! Jackson Melville." They jumped at the loud voice from behind them.

"Hello." He turns around to shake his hand. Rory was thinking that the tour might have been a bad idea. Her dad might be scared of these small townies that seem to know a little too much about him for never having met him. Anna loved this. She was hoping one would ask why they only meet him now.

"I got to tell you, did they get your description wrong," Jackson told him.

"Really?" Christopher was at this point impressed by how much information travels at the speed of light here.

"Oh yeah, much more George Clooney than Brad Pitt," He stares at the other man's face.

"He doesn't look like either of those men, they are attractive," Anna told him, getting a sound of protest from her father.

"You can't see it because he's your dad, so he just looks like a dad to you. Hey Andrew, don't you think he's much more George Clooney than Brad Pitt?" Jackson turns to the store owner to ask.

"I'm going with the Billy Crudup comparison myself." Andrew looks the man over.

"Really?" Jackson looks back at his friend in surprise.

"Oh yeah," He nods without a doubt.

"I don't see it. Well maybe from the side. Hey, do you mind?" Jackson grabs him and turns him from one side to the other.

"What? Uh, no, not at all," He said as he was already being turned by the farmer.

"Well, there's a little Crudup in there. Huh, well it's nice to meet you, whoever you look like." Jackson smiled.

Chris tugs his daughters down an aisle. "Okay, I'm kidnapping you guys and getting you guys out of here."

"They all mean well," Rory assured him.

"Yeah, I'm sure all lunatics have the best intentions." Christopher teases.

"They completely bonkers but the best people are." Anna quoted Alice in Wonderland.

"Okay, so I hear you both like books." He said.

"Understatement of the century," Anna snickers.

"Well, I would like you to pick something out and let me buy it for you." Christopher pulls them in here for a reason.

"Dad you don't have to buy me anything." Rory shook her head.

"Yeah dad, it is not necessary," Anna knew he always said he was doing well, but he never was.

"Come on, what's the book of your dreams right now?" He pushed on.

"Andrew has Esther Gillespie's newest cookbook on hold for me." She told him.

"My dream book at the moment is the Compact Oxford English Dictionary, but dad..." Rory was about to tell him he didn't need to when he cut her off.

"Excuse me, one Compact Oxford English Dictionary and the newest Esther Gillespie's cookbook, please." He calls out to Andrew.

"Okay." He nodded and went to go grab the books.

"Dad no, it costs a fortune." Rory shook her head. Anna didn't say anything because hers was only around 20 bucks.

"You need something to remember this visit by." Christopher insisted.

"Here you go." Andrew passes Christopher a large box with a book on top of it.

"Holy mother, this is the monolith from 2001." He looks down at the biggest book he has ever seen.

"It has every word ever recorded in the English language plus origins and earliest usage," Rory told him.

"You sure you wouldn't rather have a car, they weigh about the same. Here you go." He walks over to the counter and hands over a credit card to Andrew.

"This is so nice of you." Rory beams at him.

"Yeah, well I've got a lot of things to make up for." He said making Anna jerk her head around in surprise. This was the first time that she ever heard him acknowledge that he did wrong by them.

"No, you don't," Rory said.

"Yes, I do." He put an arm around each of them.

"Uh, I'm sorry Christopher. Your credit card has been rejected." Andrew felt guilt having to break up such a touching moment.

"Rejected? What are you talking about?" He asked.

"I could run it through again if you'd like." He offers.

"Yes." Rory nods her head.

"Uh, no, he doesn't need to run it through again. Could you maybe hold that for us? I'll come back tomorrow with another card." Chris asks.

"Sure Chris, no problem." Andrews nods.

"Thanks. Come on." They leave the bookstore. "Now you'll remember me." He sighs.

"I didn't want it that much anyway," Rory said, knowing it was her book that put them over his cards limit.

He wraps an arm around her and kisses her forehead. "Hey, listen, don't tell your mom about this okay?"

"Okay." She nods.

He looks over at Anna. "Sure" She nods. She felt bad for him, he was trying to do a nice thing and he got humiliated.

They stop in front of Jackson telling a group of people about their dad. "Yes, it is their real dad. He seems very nice. Kind of a folky, poppy, urban, scruffy look to him and there's some money mixed in there because he's got that you know, money nose. And..."

"Jackson." Anna sang his name. Jackson turns around to see them standing there. He touches his toque and runs off.

After a shared laugh, they walk to Luke's. "Hi." They greet their mom.

"Oh hi, where were you?" She gave each of the daughters a kiss on the cheek before they took a seat at the table.

"Well, we saw Al's Paraguayan pancake house, we were stalked by several townspeople and I look like Billy Crudup." Chris sat down next to Rory.

"You do not." Lorelai scoffs.

"Take it up with Jackson." He told her.

"No, Jackson said you look like George Clooney. Andrew was the one who said, Billy Crudup. Someone said, Brad Pitt. I'm starting to think that more people need to be wearing glasses in this town." Anna corrected.

"You're hurting your poor dad's heart." He put a hand over it.

Chris's phone rings. "Ah, ah, ah, ah. Hey, hey, hey, hey." Lorelai points to the no cell phone sign.

"Hello? Emily!" Chris answers the phone anyways. Lorelai gasps at the man for ignoring the rules.

"Emily?" Lorelai hopes that it wasn't the Emily she thinks it is.

"It's your mother," Chris confirms that it was who she was thinking of.

"Hi, Grandma!" Rory and Anna yelled.

"Uh-huh… Well, I'm sitting here with your girls….Sure." He held the phone out to Lorelai. "She wants to speak to you."

"Mm. Hi mom," She sighs. "What? I didn't know! Although, coincidently I'm sitting across an amazing Christopher hologram," She dramatically gasps making Anna snicker. Rory shows her dad the menu.

"What do you get here, Anna?" Chris pulls her attention away from her mother and makes her miss Lorelai's stress out expression.


"I've got to see my parents." Lorelai sighs as she stares down the door.

"I've got to see my parents." Chris copied her.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the drama king and queen of Connecticut," Rory shook her head.

"Can we go in? It's cold out here." Anna whines.

Lorelai used her key to open the door. "Hello? Anybody home?" She called out as they entered.

"Oh my God! You're here. Christopher, look at you!" Emily comes over and hugs him.

"Emily, as always perfect." He complimented her. A maid came over to take their coats.

"I am so glad to see you, I didn't hear the doorbell," Emily told them.

"We didn't ring the doorbell," Lorelai told her.

"You let yourselves in?" Emily looks at her shock.

"It's okay mom, look not a rapist among us." She waves her hand to the show the people she brought in with her.

"Hi Grandma," Rory smiled.

"Doesn't matter how we got in as long as we are together, right?" Anna shrugs, hoping to defuse the situation.

"I suppose. Well, Richard's in the living room, come on in. He's dying to see you." She waves to Chris. Her granddaughter follows on her heels as their parents lag behind.

"Well, here they are." He got up to hug his granddaughters.

"Hi Grandpa," They greeted him.

"Hello Rory, Anna, Lorelai. Christopher, old boy, how are you? My Gosh, it's good to see you!" He nodded to Lorelai and shook Chris's hand.

"How are you, Richard?" He shook the older man's hand.

"Well, I'm better than most, not as good as some." He shrugs.

"And annoyed with all," Chris teases.

"Aha! You speak the truth young man! I have made martinis. So Christopher, tell me about your business." He laughs as he hands the man a drink.

"Oh Richard, let the poor boy relax." Emily grabs a drink for herself. Anna sat down on the armchair while Lorelai and Rory sat down on the couch.

"Well, I simply want to find out how it's going." He defends himself.

"It's uh... it's going great Richard. I'm almost afraid to jinx it by telling you good it is going." He clears his throat, not liking that his kids knew he was lying.

"Oh, that is wonderful. I always knew you had it in you. You have a splash of greatness as my mother would say. You've always had that splash of greatness." He cheers as he sits down on the armchair across from Anna. Chris took the seat next to Rory.

"Mm, I'd like another splash of greatness if you don't mind." Lorelai got up to get another martini.

"Oh Richard, isn't Rory the spitting image of Christopher?" Emily looks over at her oldest. Anna looks over at her sister, not seeing it. She thought she looked like her mom's mini-me. But, Rory seems to be eating up the compliments.

"I just hope you both inherit your father's business sense." Richard smiled.

"I know one thing for sure you two certainly have your father's musical talent." Emily praises.

"Oh, wait just a minute." Lorelai sat back down.

"What?" Emily asks.

"Mom, none of these three have any musical talent." She giggles.

"Hey, I don't say anything about your singing." Anna scoffs.

"Hey, I play guitar." Chris defends himself.

"You know the opening lick to Smoke on the Water." Lorelai gave him an are-you-serious look.

"And I've since mastered the opening like to Jumping Jack Flash." He let her know he has further his skills.

"I'm a Chuck Berry man, myself," Richard said. Lorelai laughs, almost spitting out her drink. "Is something wrong," He asks.

"I would never have guessed that sentence would ever come out of your mouth." She chuckles.

"And why not," He asks.

"Chuck Berry?" She gathers herself to question him.

"Yes, Chuck Berry. He was all the rage when I was in school." He told her.

"So we're talking Pre-My-Dingaling?" She put her martini glass up to her mouth to hide her smile.

"I believe I am." He nods his head.

"Do you remember when you two were what, ten and you put on that adorable show for us." Emily smiles as she thinks of the memory.

"What show mom?" Lorelai asks.

"Lucy, Schroeder, you lying on the coffee table." Chris reminds her.

"You pretending it was a piano, God, why is that remembered?" Lorelai shook her head at the awful memory.

"Because it was such a wonderful production," Emily didn't see why her daughter didn't see it as a cute moment.

"I don't know if it was a production, mom. It was just one song." Lorelai laughs at her mom's enthusiasm about it.

"Suppertime," Chris remembers the song.

"Did you write that? That was very good." Richard asks.

"Dad, that's from, You're a Good Man Charlie Brown, it's a famous musical." Lorelai couldn't believe he didn't know that.

"Well, I thought Christopher might have written it, he's a very talented man." He said. Chris smiles down at his glass, knowing how much it drove her crazy that her parents thought so much of him.

The doorbell rang making Emily stand up. "That would be Straub and Francine." She leaves to answer the door.

"I haven't seen your parents in quite some years. We were practically inseparable for a while." Richard gets up to greet them at the door also.

"He never greets us at the door. Not even the first Friday night diner." Anna pouts at her grandpa's back.

"This is weird. These are my other grandparents. I don't even know them. What do I call them?" Rory asks.

"Call them what I call them ass…" Chris plays with the knot on his tie making Anan giggle for the first time on his visit.

"Chris..." Lorelai scolds him.

"Sorry, my tie's too tight." He pulls on it.

"Just, uh, call them Straub and Francine. Call them Mr. and Mrs. Hayden. Sir and Ma'am? Why don't you just avoid calling them anything?" Lorelai wasn't sure of what to call them either.

"I told you, Rory. Don't stress about it. They didn't put any effort into knowing us for 16 years, why should we put any into them." Anna leans back into her chair.

Before Lorelai could tell her youngest at least be civil, Richard came in with an older couple. "Look who's here." The three on the couch stood up.

"Hello, Mother, Pop," Chris got up to greet them.

"Christopher." His father smiled at him.

"Christopher, hello," His mother fixes his tie and collar.

"Mr. and Mrs. Hayden, long time no see." Lorelai greets them.

"Lorelai, you look well." She forces the compliment out.

"I am, thanks. You remember Rory. You haven't seen her in quite a while." She points to her oldest.

"No, we haven't." Mr. Hayden looks her over.

"I think she was just beginning to speak in complete sentences." Mrs. Hayden said.

"So not for two years then." Lorelai jokes. The Haydens gave her a blank look. "She's been talking for a long time so I was making a humorous comment sometimes referred to as a joke."

"I see you haven't changed Lorelai." He glares.

Anna got up to walk over to them. "We wouldn't have her any other way. I'm Susanna, the last time you saw me I couldn't speak in full sentences so I figure you wouldn't recognize me." She put her hand out for one of them to shake. Mrs. Hayden grabs it first. "I like the suit it's Ann Taylor, right? The shoes are Versace, they're great too." She shook Mr. Hayden's hand. "Vacheron, nice," She nods her head at the gold watch.

"I'm surprised you know such things." Mrs. Hayden told her.

"Of course, you have to be able to spot the finer things in life. How else are you going to know who to rob?" She said with a straight face before going back to her seat.

They all stood there in a stun silence. "Rory, hello," Mrs. Hayden greeted her other granddaughter.

"Hi." She curtsies.

"Uh, Straub, Francine…. how about a martini," Richard asks.

"Please." Mr. Hayden said. The older man walked over to the cart while the lady sat down on the couch.

"Well Straub, how is retirement treating you?" Richard pours him a glass.

"Yes, do tell us about the Bahamas." Emily smiled.

"You can get an entire island there for the cost of a decent house here." Mr. Hayden told them.

"Really?" Richard handed him two glasses.

"How about you, Richard, any thoughts of retirement crossing your mind," He asks while giving his wife a glass.

"Oh Straub, if only you could talk him into it. I've given up." Emily smiles as the man sits down next to his wife.

"We're very pleased about Christopher's business success in California." Richard sat down in his armchair.

"Yes, it's taken a while but it seems to be finally coming together." He raises his glass to his son.

"Christopher your tie, please," His mother scolds. Anna didn't know why she was obsessing about it, it looks fine to her.

"Straub and Fran," Rory clears her throat. "Mr. and Mrs. um...are you enjoying your time here, um...you...two?"

"How old are you, young lady?" Mr. Hayden asks.

"Sixteen, we are both sixteen," She points to herself and her sister.

"Dangerous age for girls," He told her. Lorelai glares at him.

"Straub," His wife scolds him.

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm on birth control and I got a box of condoms in my dresser draw." She was being serious but kept a joking tone.

"Susanna." Lorelai hiss at her.

"Rory and Anna are very special children, excellent students, very bright," Emily told them.

"You should talk with either of them Straub, they could give you a run for your money," Richard told him.

"Is that so?" He asks.

"That's right." Emily nods.

Straub looks at Rory. She fidgets around in her seat not knowing what to say. "Well, I think my money's safe." He snickers.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" Anna shot up from her seat.

"What did you say to me?" He glares at the girl.

"I said who the hell do you think you are? You come in here and look down on us like we're dirt on your overpriced shoes. Well, screw you and your superiority complex. Anyone who makes no effort to get to know their grandchildren because they're born out of wedlock is the real dirtbags." She sneers at the man in disgust. She turns to Emily. "I'm sorry, grandma. I appreciate what you tried to do tonight but family is more than blood. I'll be in the kitchen while they're here." She walks into the kitchen. As she closed the door, she heard her mom yell that she hates President Bush.


"There you are. I was wondering where you went." Emily came into the kitchen to see her granddaughters sitting down on the kitchen island, drinking sodas.

"I'm sorry." Rory looks down at the table.

"No, it's nothing to be sorry about. Can I get you something?" She asks.

"I'm fine." They held up their drinks.

"Oh, that's hardly dinner. Well, that was quite a bit of excitement tonight." She opens the fridge.

"One way of putting it," Anna sighs.

"Not the good kind." She took out two containers that had the dinner that the cook and Anna made. But, no one ate after Richard kicked the Haydens out.

"Nope," Rory shook her head.

"None of this means anything," Emily told them.

"Oh, I know." They nod.

"Straub is a good man, very smart. He was one of the top lawyers in his field, a very arcane aspect of International law. And he's always been so active in his community. His charity work has never diminished over the years." She told them as she made their plates. When she saw their defeated faces, she sighs. "Oh let's face it, he's a big ass." She stops making the plates to say. Rory and Anna laugh. "I know you two heard a lot of talk about various disappointments this evening and I know you've heard a lot of talk about it in the past. But I want to make this very clear, you, young ladies, your persons, and your existences have never been, not even for a second, included in that list. Do you understand me?" She sat down across from them.

"Yeah, I do," Rory said.

"Never cross my mind." Anna gave a weak smile.

"Good, now eat up." She hands each of them a plate of leftovers.


They walk into the house, "Night you two."

"Good night dad," Rory said and Anna echoes her. He kisses each of them on the cheek.

"Good night Lor," He turns around to tell her.

"Good night, yeah, uh, have a really, really good night." She pats his shoulder. He heads for the couch.

"You got some dirt on you." Rory saw dirt on her mom's shoulder.

"Where did you get that?" Anna never saw dirt in grandma's house.

"I don't… it's been a long night so um, there's just been a lot of schmutsing going on. Come on,

We haven't had a chance to talk." She wraps an arm around each of them to guide into the kitchen.

"About the schmutsing," Rory asks.

"No, about all the warm and fuzzy family moments that went on tonight. Are you okay?" She looks them both over.

"It felt good telling them off." Anna smiled.

"I bet it did. What about you?" She looks at Rory.

"Yeah, I'm okay." She nods.

"You know all those crazy people saying those horrible things were directing them at me, not you guys." She told them.

"They were directing them to you because you had us." Rory corrected her.

"No, they were directing them at me because I screwed up their big Citizen Kane plans. That's all." She re-corrected her.

"They don't even want to know us, do they?" Anna asks the question, she already knew the answer to.

"That is not true. They are just so full of anger and stupid pride that stands in the way of them realizing how much they want to know you two." Lorelai told her.

"Yeah," Her daughters said, even though they knew it was a pretty lie.

"Their loss and it's a pretty big one." Lorelai gave her honest truth about the whole situation.

"I'm going to bed now." Rory walks to the door in the kitchen.

"Me too," Anna went to go upstairs.

"Hey. No regrets, from me or your dad." She said before they could leave the kitchen.

"Yeah?" Rory turns around to ask.

"Oh, I mean no regrets about you. There's a misspelled tattoo incident that I'm sure he'd like to erase from his bio, but you that's a no brainer." Lorelai teases.

"Where does dad have a misspelled tattoo?" Anna turns around to ask.

"Ah, ah, another story for another time, possibly before your first trip to Mazatlan, good night babes," She smiles.

"Good night mom." They smiled at her before going to their rooms.


"I don't want to leave when I'm on bad terms with you." Chris sat down on the porch step next to Anna.

"We're not on bad terms." She looked down at the steps.

"Well, I would like us to be more than just civil." He said.

"You know, I was sitting here and Rory was sitting where you are when we waited for you to come to take us camping, but you never show up. But, you know that." Anna turns to him.

"Yeah," He hung his head.

"It's also where we waited to go see The Phantom of the Opera and we even missed the fair that one year because we didn't want to go without you." She glares at him.

"I know, I broke a lot of promises… but I'm..." He was going to give another empty promise.

"I'm going to be better from here on out. I'm going to make up for it. Save the clichés for Rory, Dad. I don't want another broken promise to add to the list." She cut him off.

"Then what do you want?" He asks.

"I want my questions answered honestly." She told him.

"Okay, ask away." He waved his hand.

"Do you know while you're making these plans that you're not going to show up?" She asks.

"I always think I can while I'm making them. But, I couldn't figure out how to put up the tent, the play was sold out, and I forgot about the fair." He let out a depressed sigh after every confession.

"Then why didn't you call to say you couldn't make it for camping and the play. Why make us sit around waiting for you?" She narrows her eyes.

"Because I'm a coward," He admits.

"I want honesty from now on. I want this to be the last time I sit on the porch steps wondering why my dad won't show up for me." She demands.

"I can do that." He nods.

"And want a set time for you to call. I want you to talk to us, not the answering machine." She gave another demand. Half the time he called they weren't at home. She suspected that he did it on purpose, calling when he knew they were in school or during Friday night dinners.

"I can do that." He nods again.

"And I hate your parents." She wanted him to know that for some reason.

"I do too, kid." He laughs and wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"Well, let's get you packed up." She grabs one of his bags. She helps him strap it to his bike.

"So, how serious are you about this Tristan?" He asks.

"I'm not rushing to the church, but I'm not searching for anyone else." She shrugs.

"Just don't let him talk you into doing anything you don't want to do." He looks at her with fear in his eyes.

"Oh don't worry it's normal the other way around." He saw the mischief glint in his daughter's eyes. It was the first time he ever saw anything that resembled him in his youngest.

"I think I might be more terrified than before." He said, making her bark out a laugh.

"Having a good time out here," Lorelai and Rory walk out of the house.

"Oh yeah, can't wait to get the hoodlum out of my town." She playful shoves his helmet into his stomach. He put his helmet on his bike's seat to tickle her. She squealed and reached out for her mom who laughed as she pulled her away.

"So call us when you get home," Rory told him.

"I will." He nods to her.

"And call more." She demands.

"I will." He pulls her into a hug and he whispers something in her ear.

"Dad wants to know if you'll reconsider." Rory turns around to ask her mother. Lorelai waves for Rory to come over and whispers in her ear, "She says nope, offspring sucks and Metallica rules." She told her dad.

"Fair enough," He kisses and hugs Lorelai.

"Drive safe." She told him. He got on his bike and drove away.

"He wanted you to marry him didn't he?" Rory asks, making Anna turn to look at her mother.

"Spy," Lorelai knew she must have heard everything from her room.

"You know crazier things have happened," Rory told her.

"Rory, stop if mom doesn't want to marry him then she shouldn't." She glares at her sister. When Rory kept protesting, she went into the house not wanting to hear it. This whole week had been stressful for her, but it would be worth it if her dad would start coming through for them.