Then
The sun was shining. Of all the things that stuck out about that day, the sun shining on the cemetery lawn during a funeral in the Pacific Northwest was one of the darkest. Cole wouldn't see the faces of half the guests. He wouldn't focus on the words said. But even then he knew he would always remember how those two coffins looked, gleaming in the sun.
He felt Ethan and Anna sitting on either side of him. His grandparents may have disapproved of him not sitting with them, but mourning their daughter took more precedence than trying to understand their teenage grandson. It was just as well. And he was where he needed to be.
Anna's arm was looped through his, while Ethan's hand lay steady on his knee. It may have looked like they were keeping him in place, but even in his grief he knew all it would take was one look and they would get him out of there. But he needed to do this thing. He didn't believe his parents were in those boxes, but he knew they were with him. Knew they would always be wherever he went. So he would stick through this and be there for them, this last time.
Every so often Cecelia would touch the back of his shoulders. She sat behind him with Phillip. John had been in town since it happened, and had cleared his schedule for who knew how long. He sat on the other side of Ethan, glancing around. He imagined all the adults were nervous.
The police didn't have much to say about the string of murders in Seattle. Cole's parents making that list didn't shed any new light. The only thing they seemed concrete on was there were no connections between victims and no reason for their families to fear. Cole couldn't say he feared much anymore. One of the worst had already happened. But the murders touching close to home had put everyone else on alert. Even Phillip, who never seemed to have a worry, had been on edge.
He might have thought their behavior was why he was twitchy but if he was being honest it was the staring. As a sudden orphan part of him already knew this would be his new norm, but there was something about the way this person stared that had his hair standing on end. Taking the shiver that went with it as a chill, Anna used her free hand to rub Cole's arm. He looked down at her and then over at Ethan, and back at the man staring, so the other two followed his glance. Anna stopped rubbing his arm and Ethan tensed. Cole knew they felt it too.
The first person to leave Cole's parents funeral was Carlisle Cullen.
Now
On instinct Cole's arm flung out to keep him from taking a header off the couch as he woke. From one of the other chairs Ethan raised a brow.
"Spaz." He reached for the remote and put the volume back up.
"Yeah well, nightmare." Cole rubbed a hand down his face.
"That's supposed to be the beauty of a catnap, no dreaming." But Ethan looked over. "Which?"
"The funeral."
Ethan sighed and turned off the tv. "How long has that been?"
"I don't even know." He looked around. "Anna?"
"In Keith's room. Want me to get her?"
"No. No need. It's nothing we haven't gone over. It was just focused on Carlisle staring at us."
"At you. Him being there wasn't about us and you know it."
"I don't want to go into it. Not today. Damn." Absently he kicked the leg of the coffee table. "I didn't want to be thinking of this stuff today."
"About your parents or the big matter?"
While half of the dread the dream induced was gone at the understanding in Ethan's voice, Cole felt the rest weigh him down. "Either." He answered.
Ethan nodded. "It's always there. Always going to be there. Even on hot date days."
Knowing he was trying to cheer him, Cole put some effort into it himself and sat up. "Probably should do something about all this."
"If you think Keith hasn't already set clothes out, then you're in a sorry state. Do you have a plan?"
"I might not date as often as you but I remember the mechanics."
"Yeah, try online dating. The mechanics were thrown out the window." At a knock at the door Ethan frowned. "What's the point of having a buzzer if no one needs to use it anymore?" He got up to look through the peep hole and laughed.
"It's not Hayley." Cole said, glancing at his watch.
Ethan opened the door and John walked in.
"For fucks sake." Cole flopped his face into the couch cushions.
"Hey!" John used the voice he ordinarily saved for when 'you're grounded' followed it.
"Son. Right here." Ethan put in as he closed the door. "I thought you were coming by early next week."
"Dad. Who added another show to get more time with the kids. Right here." John wrapped and arm around Ethan. "What's wrong with the youngest? First date jitters?"
As a door at the end of the hallway burst open Anna let out a gasp and pointed at John, who pointed back at her.
"Mr K!" She ran down the hall and John wrapped his free arm around her.
"Miz Anna Jane! Now, I didn't know you were here."
"I'm leaving tonight, so at least I caught you. This one is taking me to the train station soon." She tapped a hand on Ethan's shoulder.
"Well I'll take you two out to early dinner then. Gives the other one more time to primp." But he walked over and wrapped Cole in a bear hug. "Good to see you even if you're mad about it."
"It's just a date, everyone needs to stop making it an event."
"Right, right." John grinned as Keith came into the room. "Long time Keith, how you been?"
Keith scoffed and merely said "Javier" before sailing into the kitchen. Naturally, he believed John was the Irish Javier Bardem.
"He's ticked because the gig is putting you up at a hotel and you're not staying here in the splendor of Brooklyn." Cole broke away but with a wink. "I told him you'd be here often enough with that one visiting."
"So glad to hear how happy you are that I'm still in town." Ethan put in and followed Keith into the kitchen.
"Well Keith will just have to come to dinner with us." John sent his smirk Cole's way. "What will you do with an empty apartment I wonder?"
Cole glared but before he took the bait Anna flicked her hand at John while the other was filled with a mug of coffee from Ethan. "Don't start on him. He's got the forehead wrinkles already, he's nervous."
"I'm not, and I'm not bringing her back here, what do you take me for?"
"All I needed to know kid." John tapped a hand on Cole's shoulder before settling on the couch. His grin spread as Keith brought him a coffee as well.
"He's serious about this one." Keith told him and shrugged at Cole's curse. "No point in you getting riled that all of us are excited about it Leo. So we're going to dinner?" He added to John.
"Early bird. Those two have to leave to the train station and I go on at eight." He pat Anna's knee as she plopped down next to him with a pout. "You'll catch another show. Will you be back by then you think?" He asked Ethan.
"Cutting it close, but maybe. Bunk at the hotel?" At John's smile Ethan nodded to Cole and Keith. "Your kingdom is back to being your own for a night."
"We're good hosts, I don't know what the problem is." He said to Cole and then sighed. "I put your outfit on your bed."
"Told you." Ethan glanced at his watch. "We might as well get moving. Too damn crowded in here."
Cole almost argued against it, but catching the look from Ethan he kept quiet. His friend knew him enough to know when he needed alone time before even Cole. Didn't mean he had to tell Ethan he was right though.
And since the dream was still raw in his mind, he felt uneasy saying goodbye to Anna, as he knew he would once Ethan took off. They'd understand that feeling of "what if something happens." Perhaps they'd all feel it more so knowing about their onlooker the other night. Regardless, he hugged her a little harder, nodded where words are unnecessary. As she leaned back, she squeezed each of his arms and sighed.
"Alright. You're it again. Make the time in between visits short if you know what's good for you."
"I'll call you tomorrow."
She touched his face. "Have so much fun."
"Geall." He added so she'd smile. "See the rest of you later or tomorrow."
"I may stay at the hotel too. Or Marks. Just in case." Keith held up his hands at Cole's mock glare and retreated.
Once alone Cole hunted up his phone. After checking the weather he made a quick call to set an idea he had for later in motion. Then firing off a text to Hayley, he wandered back to his room.
(C) Still good to meet at your stoop at 6? Then walk over to Tavola?
(G) Wouldn't it be easier for you to head straight to the restaurant? It's closer to the subway than my building.
(C) No, it's definitely easier to walk together.
(G) You're impossible. And lucky I'm excited. See you at 6.
He was still smiling when he got out of the shower and dressed. Calculating the time he needed to catch the right subway train, he turned on his computer to unwind. Technically it was working, but it amounted to the same thing. He uploaded the photos he'd taken on his phone the day before. They'd just been at Hayley's apartment most of the day, and he hadn't had his camera, but there were a few shots he saw potential with. He hadn't gotten any of them entirely, which wasn't his goal anyways. But he'd wanted something that captured the mood. A vibe he felt like more than some would know.
He'd reached the mark with the third shot. The show they had been watching was blurred in the background. As was the forefront of socked feet on the coffee table, a folded leg, with mug balanced on the knee. The only light was a flickering candle and that of the tv screen. An open pizza box showed crusts and a tinfoil bowl with a hand forking up cold Chinese noodles. Maybe he'd sell it, hell there was probably a market for the basic shot on PIN. But for him it was a good memory, so for the moment he saved it to one of his personal USB's as well. Looking through the albums he had on it, he clicked on one even knowing he shouldn't.
Anyone would consider it a compiling of his best work. All of them would be ones to show Hayley one day. Both if they continued seeing each other and if they continued the story. They told most of it all on their own. Which was why it almost hurt to look at them. He clicked on the one he considered the tipping point of photography being a hobby and it being a part of who he was. It was also arguably the happiest moment in Anna's life that he'd captured. And wasn't that something? She'd been one of the people to change his life, and it happened more than once. Not too many clicks after that was another that he knew when he took, it was going to be something special. Ethan's face was half hidden in the hair of the one he would always love, and still the look of him left a catch in Cole's throat.
Both images were caught in moments of love. Cole may have never been in love himself but he knew he'd been experiencing some warning signs. Looking at those pictures made him both want to let the fall come, and run from it. He had a bit of both his friends if those were his options. Then thinking of his parents, and how happy they were, he shut down his computer and got going.
Hayley
She wasn't nervous.
Hayley may have spun that line on a loop to herself the last half hour. But she wasn't nervous. She was merely excited. Putting on her make up at her desk, she studied her reflection in approval. Yes, there was an excited blush about her. Her eyes looked bright and ready. Not. At all. Nervous.
She went to her closet to change her blouse for the sixth time.
How many got to say they had a date that an app hadn't provided them? So few. A hauntingly few. And she was not one of them. She was going out to dinner with someone she really liked. She was going to be young and free. She wasn't going to care about tomorrows, only this night.
Horseshit.
She may have the number stamped next to her name that suggested she was young, but she had never felt less so. They worked together for Christ sake, what was she thinking? Sighing, she took out her phone and scrolled to the picture Anna had sent her. During trivia they'd played girls against boys, and the shot showed Cole leaning across the table and pointing at Hayley, who was touching a fist to her open palm. Still, both were grinning.
That's what she was thinking, she reminded herself. Maybe they both tended towards being serious but look at what they brought out in each other. She'd always felt like she was waiting for the fun to start, and suddenly it had.
Hayley took a breath and then walked to her door where her standing mirror hung. She smoothed the wisteria colored shirt. It was long sleeved, but with the temperatures rising for April, she knew she'd get away without having a coat. Turning to the side and pleased with the way the grey jeans clung, she gathered her things to put in a clutch. After checking the time, she sighed happy enough that she could stop thinking so damn much.
She locked up since the place was empty. Alexia had informed her earlier that she would be bunking at a friend's. That caused eighty percent of Hayley's overthinking even without Alexia's saucy wink. But as she reached the main door and saw Cole leaning against the street lamp pole, she knew all that thinking wasn't unwarranted.
Certainly there had been other times she had feelings for someone. There was even one time in college she thought it was love. But as she walked down Hayley couldn't conjure another time she felt so awakened yet at ease just from seeing someone. His hand reached up for hers and once they touched she felt…right. Nothing else mattered.
"I've never seen your hair down." He smiled. "I like it."
"Seemed the right occasion for it." She looped her arm through his as they began walking. "How are you?"
"Ready for a great night. John came to town early so everyone is occupied."
"Were you worried they were going to spy on us then?"
"I'm not going to lie….a little bit."
On the walk to the restaurant she told him how Mitch's quitting had her thinking it was time to start looking for other work herself.
"I'm not surprised and more than a little relieved. Now that I know you more I know it doesn't suit you."
"The way things are now, the luxury of choosing work based on how it suits you is pretty done."
"Maybe. I think you've got a good enough head on your shoulders that you're not searching for the perfect job, but I've got to believe one exists that can afford you a bit more security and happiness than you have going at PIN."
"I don't know. I'm willing to look, even though I did get one pretty great thing from it."
He wrapped and arm around her shoulders and she felt the warmth of it buzz through her.
Once they had arrived at the Italian place and ordered drinks, Hayley tilted her head.
"So what about you? Freelancing seems like a lot to juggle."
"It was at first. Still is during tax season. There's a lot of W2's to keep track of. Getting my agent took some of the sweat out of it but also takes a slice of the profit. But I found even if I have the head for numbers doesn't mean I want to be in it all the time. I'd rather spend the time on the pictures."
"I can understand that. It's funny that you and Ethan both have gypsy jobs and the one who grew up a gypsy doesn't."
"We're all halves." Cole considered. "Why haven't you looked into freelancing with writing?"
"There's more out there for photography. With writing I guess I want more control than would be available with freelance. Especially here. Although…." Hayley reached for her drink.
"Here isn't where you want to be." Cole nodded.
"I'm starting to wonder." She admitted. It was the first time she had out loud. "I thought I would get to see so much and have this energy. I did for a while in school but now that I'm out of that security I feel like mostly all I do is work. It's only been a year and a half though, it's not enough time for everything to fall into place."
"Maybe not. You have to work hard to get established and have what you need but I think the problem might be that the city isn't what you need."
Hayley shrugged. "I'm not overly concerned about it now. I don't know where I would even go."
"You'll figure it out. If there's anything I've learned is that we don't have only one home. You'll find yours." Putting down his menu he leaned forward. "Tell me about why it wasn't Rochester."
"Well I grew up in Henrietta, Moms still there but I don't make it back often. It just felt like a place I guess. Everywhere I've lived has. I'm not sure I will get a different feeling anywhere." She grinned. "Actually as if both of us going to NYU wasn't enough, I almost ended up in Albany after."
"No kidding. Well Anna will be sad she missed out."
"Why haven't you ended up there? You don't strike me as so small town to go back to Forks, but you don't seem like fulltime city either. The capital may be a happy middle. And she's there."
"That's actually part of why. I needed to not have that crutch so to speak. I still had both Anna and Ethan throughout college and after I needed to see I could do it without them. I mean never really without them, but not leaning so hard. And I think they were ready for it too. Ethan has his adventure time and Anna has found everything she wanted out of a home."
Cole took a drink and narrowed his eyes over the rim. "You're dodging talking about yourself still."
"You know what I think it is?"
"Tell me."
"I remember being a kid and feeling like when I tried talking to other classmates they usually told me told me something I liked was lame or if I wasn't into the same stuff as them I was boring. That there wasn't anything interesting about me. Typical." Hayley shrugged. "I might not have focused on it overmuch but I did stop speaking up. I learned to be content with it being just me who understood me."
"Are you still content with just that?"
"Not on your life."
Cole grinned and kissed her knuckles to seal it; leaning back as their food was served.
They spent the rest of the meal on easy topics. Tearing apart a book series they discovered they both enjoyed, and then laughing over a show. They lingered after the food was done and the check long paid. While toying with the idea of asking if he wanted to find some live music, Hayley started when Cole jumped up after checking his watch.
"We ought to get moving." He held out a hand and tugged her up.
"Oh yeah? Where to?
He didn't answer, but she found she didn't mind following as he zig and zagged them through the still busy traffic.
It wasn't long before he led them to a handsome old building. Hayley was sure she remembered it from one of her ramblings when she'd been exploring the area while at school. Before she could ask Cole why they were there, a doorman stepped out.
"Mr. Masen?" He asked.
"That would be me."
"Mr. Areshi said you can go right on up, just please check in on me before you leave. That way I know what I can lock."
"Absolutely. Thank you." Cole shook the man's hand with his free one and then ushered Hayley towards an elevator.
"What is it you're up to Mr. Masen?"
"I've worked for the owner a few times. We have an agreement that if I do portraits and other shots for him from time to time I can use his roof when he's traveling."
"That's some barter system."
"One of my favorites." As they got off the elevator they reached a small hall that held a door for the roof access stairs.
Once they were at the top and Cole opened the door out, Hayley's head fell back and she stomped one foot.
"I know." Cole agreed.
She stepped onto the flat stone walkway and looked up at the string lights strung from one arbor to another. Chaises were scattered about in a way that suggested a garden would be present once spring was in full bloom. There was a fire pit that had her clapping her hands together and rushing forward.
"Not yet." Cole said and went to a one of the two bags sitting on the table closest to the door.
"Cole, it's outdoor space in New York, we have to make the most of this."
"And we will, but I have a request first."
Warily Hayley watched him take a bottle of wine and the makings of s'mores out of the bag. "Well that's good way to start."
He carried them back to the fire pit. "I'll light this up and we'll get a share of both and the view. If you cooperate me taking a few pictures."
Glancing to the second bag she smiled. "Your camera?"
Cole nodded and pointed above them. "Full moon. I can get some great shots."
Hayley looked back at the view ahead of them. Of how the moon and the city could light up the roof even without the string lights. She wasn't a photographer but she was a fellow creator and could see the appeal of the venue. "Absolutely, you have to."
"What I'd really like is to take your picture though." He gestured with the camera as she froze. "It's a good memory. No matter what happens this is our first date and it's been a special one. I've wanted to take your picture since that first conversation but I didn't know how I wanted it to be. Now I do."
She didn't know what to say. She'd seen much of his work. Some of it was commercial, some scenic. His portraits reminded her of paintings. But he wasn't asking her as a photographer who knew a good shot. She could hear in his tone that he wanted to remember this night, and at that moment all she wanted was to see how he would capture her. How was she seen to an artist like him? However at her continued silence his expression changed from hopeful to shielded. He put the camera down and walked over to her.
"If you don't like the idea or it's too personal you can just pick a shot and we'll have that."
"No, no. I like the idea a lot. I just didn't think. I…." She laughed a little and patted her hand on his shoulder. "You take pictures every day, but I imagine you don't take many on a date. It's a big deal is all, I wasn't expecting that you've been wanting to."
She watched his eyes shift as they took her in. His hand covered hers on his shoulder and moved it to his chest. His other hand came to her back as he moved in, covering her mouth with his. Her lips parted with her sigh as her free hand reached to touch the side of his face. She felt parts of her come awake again, and others she knew for the first time.
He shifted, still holding her close and placed a kiss to her forehead. "I haven't taken a date's pictures before because I haven't been on one where they understood it's a big deal." He turned his face to her hair, and she felt his lips there before she stepped back.
She looked around the rooftop patio. "Where do I go?"
"I think the ledge." He laughed at her mock shiver. "Not sitting on it. That would be a bit too relaxed for you."
"I'm relaxed. I'm on a roof here. That breaks so many first date rules, how much more relaxed can I get?"
Cole chose one of the padded benches and dragged it to the stone ledge. He angled it towards the moon and gestured to it.
"Do I take the Rose pose?" Hayley winked as she sat.
"Not quite. Tuck your legs under you, and lean an arm on the ledge." He started tinkering with his camera and lenses.
Assuming the position, Hayley goggled a bit at the view and the lights beyond her. He couldn't have chosen a better spot. Even if the city didn't suit her as she once wished it to, the view suited her mood during the date.
Bright.
She watched as he surveyed his choice, look through the camera, and then adjust something. Then placing his camera back on the table he shrugged out of his beaten up brown jacket, bringing it to her.
"Here, it's cooler up here in the open." He flashed a grin. "And now I'll be in the picture too."
She let the cuffs of the sleeves cover most of her hands as she sank back to the ledge. "We ought to take a picture of us too you know."
"Oh, we will. But this one is you. Can you put your hair up?" He trailed his hand down it.
"I thought you said you liked it." Hayley smirked as she reached into her pocket for the ever present hair tie.
"I do but I want to show more of your face, that's what suits you. Plus, it's always up, that's how I always picture you."
Considering him she put it up high on her head in its habitual loose bun. "You're awfully good at that you know."
"At what?"
"Making me feel like I'm something special. I'm not saying I'm not." She added when he primed to argue. "I'm saying not many men have taken the trouble to point it out."
"Well, it's no trouble and my privilege then." He motioned for her to get into position.
She adjusted the coat so she looked bundled in and wrapped her arms on the ledge so she could pillow the side of her head on them. Looking away from him she faced the moon and view. She felt her eyes on him, making her lips curve.
"There you are." His voice was low as he crouched.
"Am I supposed to look a certain way?"
"However you want. Think of you, think of us. I'll do the rest."
While he moved around her Hayley tuned out his muttering to himself and instead focused on the last few weeks. The comfort of them but also the excitement. She was moving towards something and she'd never felt this close to that feeling she'd wanted. She was living. And this was the very first time she wanted to share that with someone. She wanted this to grow as she'd always wanted herself to. And in that optimism one has in the beginning she felt she and Cole were well on their way. This was something special, and like everything else in her life she was going to earn it and enjoy it.
Hearing the clink of metal she looked over and saw Cole with one leg looped through one of the iron arbors and boosted so he appeared to be on a ladder. Surprised, she let out a laugh and one hand came to her mouth. Cole snapped that as well.
"That one is for me." He said with a little wonder mixed in with the pride. He jumped down and crossed towards her.
"Might be what I was thinking." She reached up and tugged him down. "When can I see them?"
"A couple days. I'll want to fiddle with them a bit. The lighting was great but I'll want to play on it further. But I know what I have here. It's going to be one of my best."
She buffed her nails on his jacket with a grin. "What will you call it?"
"A dream." He decided. Then he got up and tucked his camera on a high column table angling it towards the bench. After pressing some buttons he walked back, a tiny remote in his hand. "You decide, how should ours be?" He gave her the remote as he joined her on the bench.
Cupping it in the hand still on the ledge, she reached the other out to grasp his shirt again. "Like this." She said as his mouth quirked to the corner in that crooked grin she couldn't get enough of. Pressing the button the camera caught the image of Hayley pulling Cole closer as he reached for her face. As they weren't still, the image would reflect a blur, but that was them. Moving towards each other.
Ahead
Hayley ducked under a low branch as she ran towards the river. Her boots slid a bit as she sped hopefully far ahead from what followed. She heard her heart pounding in her ears along with the rushing water. As she reached the rocky edge her eyes scanned for Cole, finding him on the other side. Before she could shout to him, Ethan's voice exploded with nothing but her name.
As she turned towards the sound she felt dull acceptance rather than fear. The forest filled with Cole's bellowing plea.
"NO!"
And the sun was shining.
