The Gilmore Girls were sitting around the table for Friday night dinner. "How's the meal?" Emily asks.

"Tasty." Anna hums.

"Very tasty. New cook?" Lorelai asked.

"Yes, Marisella. She's introduced us to some wonderful dishes so charmingly specific to her native country." Emily cuts up her food.

"What country is she from?" Lorelai took another bite.

"One of those little ones next to Mexico," Emily informed them.

"How charmingly specific." Lorelai looks at her daughters like can you believe this woman.

"Too bad Grandpa's not here. He likes weird food." Rory watches her grandma's face to see if they made up yet. Emily didn't give anything away.

"Yeah, where's he eating his weird food tonight? Argentina? Morocco?" Lorelai names the exotic places that he usually visits.

"Akron." She told them.

"Ohio?" Rory wonders.

"Yes." Emily drank her wine.

"Get out of here." Lorelai was surprised that it was somewhere in the states.

"I will not get out of here." Emily glare, highly offended.

Anna giggles at her grandmother's misunderstanding. "No Mom, I didn't mean really get out of here, I mean…" Lorelai failed to make her mother understand the phrase.

"Why is Grandpa in Akron?" Rory cut her off.

"I don't know." She shrugs.

"It was just a saying." Lorelai sighs.

"They sent him to deal with some problem with their local office down there." She sips her wine.

"A saying, you know, like save me or get me out of here. Things like that." Lorelai went on even though they have moved past the misunderstanding.

"Lorelai, would you like me to put a mirror in front of you so you can look at yourself while you have this conversation?" She gave her daughter a dry look.

"Sorry, Dad's in Akron." She looks down at her plate.

"Yes. The amenities are atrociously lacking. He had to eat at a coffee shop last night. The whole thing's terribly insulting. He's miserable." She told them. Anna looks down at her plate as she realizes that his company didn't value him anymore.

"I hate that he's miserable." Rory sighs.

"That is terrible." Anna nods.

"So do I. We really ought to do something." Emily pushes her food around on her plate.

"Yes, I agree." The siblings' nod.

"Warning, warning." Lorelai whispers.

"I'm glad to hear you say that girls because I thought of a wonderful way to cheer him up." Emily perks up.

"Cool, what?" Rory asks.

"Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!" Lorelai shouts to be ignored by everyone at the table.

"An oil portrait of you two for his study." Emily smiles.

"An oil portrait," Rory said with confusion while Anna spoke with excitement.

"I tried, have fun." Lorelai throws her hands up.

"They would hang right over his mantle. He'd just love it." Emily could picture it now.

"Well, I guess that would be okay." Rory nods.

"Oh Mom, please, don't make them do this," Lorelai remembers the miserable time she had posing for her portrait.

"They just said they would." Emily didn't know why her daughter had to make a big deal out of everything.

"Fine, paint the picture, but don't make them sit and pose for it. Paint it from a photo." Lorelai sighs.

"A photo? That's what they do at malls." Emily was insulted by her for the second time tonight.

"I'll sit, it's fine." Rory insisted.

"Yeah, besides I haven't decided on my pose yet." Anna was wondering how much control she would have over this painting.

"Just because your own experience sitting for a portrait was bad doesn't mean theirs has to be." Emily glares at her daughter for trying to take this from her.

"What portrait? I haven't seen this." Rory looked at every painting in the house.

"They never finished." Lorelai was smug about the trouble she caused.

"Three painters started, and they all three quit," Emily remembered how distraught the artists were.

"Why did they quit?" Anna squints at her mother.

"She wouldn't stop scowling," Emily explains.

"I was going for a Billy Idol thing." She did her scowl.

"The one from Italy had some sort of breakdown." She and the maid had to console the man.

"Oh my God." Rory gasps.

"Hey, it didn't hurt Van Gogh, the guy should thank me." Lorelai scoffs.

"A year later, I swear I saw him rummaging through our recyclables." Emily was shocked to see the man.

"Well, I'm happy to sit. If it's for Grandpa, why not?" Rory shrugs.

"Wonderful. I'll set it up first thing in the morning." Emily smiles.

"What do you think of this?" Anna struck a few poses of her staring off into the distance.

"Psst. If you want, I can teach you the Billy Idol. Most people focus on the lip thing, but the eyes are just as important..." Lorelai smiled. Emily slams the salt shaker on the table. Lorelai stops talking.


Rory, Anna, and Lane are walking along the sidewalk in Stars Hollow. "So, Janie Fertman is trying to be my friend again," Lane told them.

"Yikes. What kind of vibe are you giving her?" Rory asks.

"Oh, my patented Keith Richards circa 1969 don't mess with me vibe, with a thousand-yard Asian stare thrown in." She put her arms out like she was running across a finish line.

"That should do it." Rory nods.

"Maybe you should be friends with her," Anna said, making Lane and Rory turn to her in shock. "Who do you hang out with at school now?" She asks, not seeing the harm.

"I talked to a few people, but hanging out, I didn't know." She shrugs.

"But Janie Fertman?" Rory made a face at the preppy cheerleader.

"I would have said the same thing before Chilton, but it's good to make friends with people who are opposite of you. Eleanor is basically Janie and I enjoy spending time with her. Before, I thought Thomas was a brain-dead rock, but now I talk to him every day." She pushes Lane to make friends. She felt bad that Lane waited around for them all the time. She should have her own things.

They turn the corner to see a police car and a large crowd in front of Doose's market. "What's happening up there?" Rory asks.

"Only one way to find out." Anna walks across the street to push her away through the crowd. She saw a chalk outline of a body being blocked off by yellow tape in front of Taylor's market.

"Just try to calm down, Taylor." The officer put a hand up.

"Calm down! Why should I calm down?" Taylor yells.

"Yeah, why should he calm down?" Bootsy yells from behind him.

"I want action, not words," Taylor told the officers.

"Yeah, action not words," Bootsy yells.

"Don't you need to get back to your newsstand, Bootsy?" Taylor turned around to ask the man.

"No buddy, I'm all yours." He put a hand on his shoulder.

"We're gonna get to the bottom of this, I promise you." The officer tried to calm him down.

"A crime was committed right in front of my store." Taylor pointed at the outline.

"Now, we can't say that for sure yet." She didn't want him going around spreading false claims.

"How come you can't say that for sure? This is a police tape. You're the police, you own the tape!" He pulls on the tape.

"You can buy this tape at any party store," Anna said.

"What?" The police officer and Taylor turned to her.

"They sell it with the Halloween stuff. You can get it online all year round." She didn't know how this wasn't common knowledge.

After writing that down, the officers turn back to the market owner. "Taylor, we've contacted everyone in the precinct. No one knows anything about this."

"Well, what am I supposed to do? I've got a dead body right in front of my store!" Taylor whispers the last part. It had a whisper tone but was still loud enough for everyone to hear.

"No, you have a chalk outline of a dead body in front of your store." She corrects him.

"Meaning that there were two crimes." Bootsy put up two fingers.

"What?" The officer asked.

"What do you mean what? Somebody got murdered, then somebody stole the body. It's open and shut, bing bang boom." Bootsy claps his hands.

"Is this your son?" The officer looked at Taylor. Bootsy smiled at that while Anna laughed.

"I should say not." Taylor scoffs.

"Oh," Boosty was hurt by that.

"Look, my partner's doing a headcount to see if anyone in town is missing. Until then, just hang tight." She walks away.

Anna forced her away from the crowd, which was harder than getting to the front. She dusted herself off, trying to get rid of people's germs. She looks up to see Jess standing across the street smirking at the crowd. She walks over to him. "If you don't want to get caught, maybe you should look less like an arsonist getting off on the house burning down." She smiles as she watches him playfully roll his eyes.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He tilts his head.

"So, how early did you have to wake up?" She hooks her arms with his and pulls him away from the crime scene.

"Five in the morning. Damn people get up so early here, just to walk around and talk." He scoffs.

"What can I say we're crazy about each other here." She nudged him.

"Crazy in general. Who treats a drawing like a murder?" He rolled his eyes.

"Taylor treats gum on the sidewalk like a landmine." She giggled.

"So, you're saying that I need to step up my game. Or get a harder target?" He teases.

"No, maybe a target that won't cause such a scene." She advised him.

"Where would the fun be in that? Besides, it wouldn't be funny if it wasn't Taylor? It would be cruel if it was that dance teacher." He points out.

"Who said you were funny?" She raised an eyebrow. He grabs her sides making her giggle and squirm away. "Okay, it was funny." She admits, sitting on the bridge over the lake that they always seem to end up at. Jess sat next to her. They talked about books, weird town events, and anything else that came their way.


Anna was at the Inn rubbing the dry rub on the ribs. Rory is sitting at a table doing homework, Lorelai is getting coffee, Sookie is cooking. "I had a dream last night about us and Fran," Sookie spoke out to the room.

"Oh, what was it?" Lorelai walks over to her.

"Well, it was in the future and we were all old, you, me, Rory, Anna, Jackson and Michel, everyone. Gray hair, walking around with canes, we're all kind of ailing, you know? I had those big cataract glasses on. You were hard of hearing and kept going, Huh? Huh?" Sookie put her hand up to her ear and yelled.

"Oh, that's attractive." Lorelai grimaces.

"It's you kids with your rock and roll." Rory shook her pen at her.

"But here walks up Fran, and guess what. She looks exactly the same, even better." Sookie walks to grab a knife.

"Ugh! That's not fair." Lorelai whines.

"That woman is gonna live forever." She cuts the eggplant.

"Not necessarily. Hey, did you look up angina? I forgot to." She spoke of the illness Fran said she had.

"Yeah, it's nothing major," Sookie said, making Lorelai whine.

"Mom, Sookie." Anna scolds.

"You guys have got to stop talking like this." Rory agrees with her sister.

"Like what?" Lorelai asked.

"We love Fran, remember? Fran is great." Rory reminds them.

"We all agree that it is annoying that she won't sell the place for sentiment value when she is not doing anything with it. I'm sure her parents would rather see it functional than rotting." Anna was going on when her sister got up to pinch her. "But, that is her right."

"No, honey, of course, we love Fran. It is her right. We just wanna know what God's little plan is for her, that's all." Sookie agrees with them.

Michel walks into the kitchen. "I would advise at least pretending to look busy, the boss is here."

"Mia!" Rory and Anna yell.

"You're kidding! When?" Lorelai smiled.

"I just spotted her walking in," Michel told them.

"Let's go." Lorelai put her mug down to walk out. The daughters were at her heels, eager to see their surrogate Grandmother.

"Mia!" They ran to give her a group hug.

"Uh! Oh, my babies! Ooh!" She squeezed them.

"Did we know you were coming?" Rory asks.

"I didn't know I was coming." Mia put them at arm's length to get a better look at them.

"This isn't a surprise inspection is it?" Lorelai played around.

"That's exactly what this is. Ready?" She walks around them as they stand still. "Oh, you're too thin as always."

"But we eat," Rory told her.

"A lot." Anna nods.

"And you're all too beautiful." She looks at their faces.

"Yes, that's true. We often feel guilty monopolizing the amount of beauty we're in possession of." Lorelai smiled.

"And I don't see you enough which is my fault, so you all pass." She hugs them again. Michel walks over to them. "Ooh, Michel. Ooh, how nice to see you. Uh, and look at that suit. You are quite the dandy, aren't you?"

"Well, I had a feeling that a lovely woman was going to be visiting today so I decided I must look my best for her." He tried to kiss her ass.

"I'm sorry honey, I didn't catch a word of that." She looks over at the girls confused.

"He said he missed you," Rory told her.

"You've been in the U.S. quite some time Michel, your enunciation really should be better by now," Mia told him.

"The customers seem to understand me just fine." He had a tight smile that was obviously fake.

"I didn't get that either. Did you get the tapes I sent you?" She put a hand on his arm.

"Hey, maybe you should hit the desk. A couple of people are looking for help." Lorelai nods to the desk.

"Right away. Mia, uh, I. . ." He salutes and walks behind the desk.

"So, are you too busy to sneak out with me for a walk?" Mia asks her girls.

"Not if it's okay with the boss." Lorelai smiled.

"It's a demand at this point." Mia put an arm around Anna and her other around Rory.

"Let's go. Michel, hold down the fort?" Lorelai looks at him.

"Oh, it's a little slow now, so it's no problem." He smiled.

Mia looks at them for translation. "Oh, he says that he's never liked you," Rory said.

"and that you're a problem." Anna finished.

"I said no such thing!"Michel yelled.

"I don't know where this hostility comes from. Can we work this out?" Mia put a hand on her chest.

"There's nothing to work out." He smiled.

"He told you to get out." Lorelai gasp.

"I did not!" Michel shouted.

"I don't know what I did to make him hate me." Mia guides them out of the Inn.


Luke is at the counter fixing a toaster when the Gilmore Girls and Mia come in. "Look at this place, it's exactly the same." The older woman looks around the diner.

"Actually, I made him paint it a few months ago," Lorelai told her.

"Well, good for you." She squeezed her hand.

Luke walks over and hugs Mia. "Mia hey!"

"Nice to see you, Lucas." She hugs him.

"You're the only person in the world who can call me that, Mia." He looks down at her.

"I know this." She nods.

"I'm saying it for others who plan to try it later." He shot Lorelai and Anna a look.

"Whatever Lucas." She rolled her eyes.

"Mia, you know anything about toasters?" He asks.

"Not a damn thing." She told him.

"Well, then sit down and let me get you some coffee." He let her go to get the coffee pot as they sat down at a table.

"So, Mia, how's living in Santa Barbara?" Lorelai asks.

"Horrible. Did you know the damn sun shines all the time out there?" For a woman who was used to the cold weather, it was annoying.

"They've written songs about that," Rory told her.

"Well, no one told me that's how it was. Half of my wardrobe is obsolete." She put her coat and purse on the back of her chair.

"You do have a lot of beautiful coats." Anna nods.

"Speak of that, you know that vintagey blue coat?" Lorelai asked.

"You're not getting it." She cut her off.

"Right." She nods.

Jess walks up to Luke, who's fixing the toaster again. "You're making that worse." He looks down at it.

"Big help, thanks." Luke rolls his eyes.

"Luke's nephew," Lorelai told Fran's confused face.

"Luke, that's your nephew?" She called out.

Luke brings their coffee to the table. "It's Liz's kid. Jess, this is Mia, she owns the Independence Inn." He introduces her.

"Huh." He nods.

"That's Hello, nice to meet you in slacker," Luke said for him.

"You don't need me down here, do you?" He goes back upstairs.

"I'm sorry Mia. He's just…" Luke was apologizing for Jess, something he was doing a lot lately.

"Oh please, forget it. You weren't exactly a talkative boy yourself when you were his age." She waved it off.

"That's right, you knew Luke as a boy." Lorelai perks up.

"Do you have any stories from Luke's childhood?" Anna asked.

"I can't imagine Luke as a boy." Rory tilts her head.

"Can we change the subject?" Luke begs.

"He would help people carry groceries home," Mia told them.

"Oh, how very Boy Scout-y of you." Rory looks up at him.

"I can't imagine that." Anna squints at him. He didn't like going out of his way to help people now.

"For a quarter a bag." Mia went on.

"Oh, that makes sense." Anna nods her head.

"Oh, how very John Birch Society-y of you." Lorelai laughs.

"He was never without his skateboard for a time." She remembered that it was always under his arm or feet.

"Were you any good?" Lorelai asked.

"I could hold my own." He shrugs.

"And there was that year you wore the same shirt everywhere you went." Mia points at him.

"I don't remember that." Luke shook his head.

"Ew, you must have stunk." Anna didn't want to think of how he smelled as a teenager skating everywhere.

"Must have been something flannel." Lorelai saw his closet, that's all he owned.

"No, it was from that TV show. That famous one." Mia tried to remember.

"It's not important." Luke was trying to hint at not tell them.

"Star Trek, that's it!" She snapped her fingers making the Gilmore Girls laugh.

"Oh my God, oh my God!" Lorelai giggled.

"Stop it." Luke glares.

"You were a Trekkie?" Rory laughs.

"I was not a Trekkie." Luke denies.

"Uh uh, I do believe that denying you were a Trekkie is a violation of the prime directive." Lorelai scolds him.

"Indubitably captain." Rory mimics a character's voice.

"Live Long and Prosper, Luke." Anna did the hand sign.

"It was a gift from my aunt, I wore it to make her happy." He defends himself.

"I've never wanted to make any aunt of mine that happy." Lorelai laughs.

"Did I say something I shouldn't have?" Mia asks.

"Oh no Mia, that's okay. I just have to cancel everything I have scheduled for the next three months 'cause I'll still be laughing my ass off." Lorelai laughs.

Taylor walks into the diner, ruining the good mood. "Luke, I need to talk to you right now."

"What is it, Taylor?" Luke sighs.

"I have conducted a thorough investigation of all the people who may have inadvertently been witness to the phony murder at my store last night." Taylor was getting ready with his accusation when Luke walked away. He followed after him.

"There was a phony murder?" Mia asks.

"Yeah, the town's too dull to work up a real murder." Lorelai smiled.

"It was a chalk outline and some yellow tape. Everyone knew it was phony, but Taylor had to be dramatic about it. Instead of just washing it away before anyone notices." Anna rolls her eyes at the sweater-wearing man. He should have taken the tape down and hosed down the chalk. All he was doing right now was giving Jess what he wanted.

"Luke, are you going to listen?" Taylor yelled.

"What's this got to do with me?" Luke put his hands on the counter.

"Three people have reported seeing Jess in that area late last night, skulking, lurking." He said the last two words slowly.

"There were a lot of people out late last night. I know because I fed some of them. I'll give you their names so you can add them to your suspect list." Luke scoffs.

"Another person witnessed Jess walking out of an arts and crafts store two days ago with what appeared to be chalk." Taylor gave his next piece of evidence.

"You appear to be bugging me, Taylor." Luke glares.

"What are you gonna do about it, Luke?" Taylor put his hands on his hips.

Anna acted without thinking. She stood up to yell. "It was me."

"What?" Everyone in the diner looked at her.

"I thought it would be a cute way to introduce the idea of the town doing a big murder mystery for Halloween this year. I thought you would see it and know it was obviously phony and laugh it off. I would tell you my idea, so it could be brought up at the next town meeting. But, then there were police and you were so mad." She impressed herself by how she was able to pull this out of her ass.

"That's why you were telling the officer where the tape was from." Taylor stared in shock at the teen.

"I'm sorry, I should come clean sooner. I was scared, but I can't let anyone else take the blame for this." She looks down at her feet.

"Well, I suppose I can forgive this. But next time young lady, when you have an idea just come up and tell me. There is no need for a big surprise reveal." Taylor pointed a finger at her.

"Thank you for your forgiveness. I'm sorry." She looks up at Taylor, hoping she looks regretful.

"There's nothing wrong with having a big idea, but the approach is everything. Now come, we can talk about this murder mystery." Taylor sat down at a table.

She looks over at her mother, "Planning something with Taylor seems like suitable punishment." Lorelai nods to the table. Anna sighs, sitting at the table with Taylor.

Rory glared at Jess who was standing in the stairway that led to the apartment.


Anna was in a pink gown with white lace sleeves and trimmings. She was sitting sideways on a red chair in the middle of her grandmother's garden. Her legs were over an arm of the chair as she leaned her back against the other arm. She held a white lace umbrella over her shoulder. She looked at the painter with an expression that looked like she was listening attentively like her grandmother told her to. A swan was on the ground by her chair, hissing as the handler tried to keep it sitting.

"Grandma!" She yelled when the swan let out an angry noise.

"We're getting rid of the swans," Emily yelled, making Anna relieved.


Lorelai, Rory, Anna, and Mia walk down the street towards Miss Patty's. "We're late." Rory sighs.

"We're not late," Lorelai argues.

"The last time we were late, Taylor said that there would be consequences." Rory reminds them.

"He did not. He said there would be severe consequences." Lorelai corrects her.

"Ah, he says that every time." Anna waves her hand.

"Mia, what time is it? Are we late?" Rory asks.

"I hope so." She smiled.

"Mia!" Lorelai gasp.

"I'm sorry, but it's been two years since I've gotten to go to a town meeting and I want some controversy." She shrugs.

"If by controversy you mean pointless arguments over trivial things then your wish will be granted." Anna folds her arms on top of each other and blinks.

They walk past Luke's to see him locking up the diner. "Aha!" Lorelai yells.

Luke jumped. "Geez! Don't sneak up on me like that."

"Yeah, boy, I was lucky you had your phasers on stun, huh?" Lorelai jokes as he joins them in walking to the dance studio.

"Well, at least we're not late. Luke's never late." Rory points at the man.

"Actually, we're 2 minutes early." Luke looked at his watch.

"We should get a prize for being on time." Rory teased.

"Hey Luke, let's go back to the diner and get some pie as our reward for being on time." Lorelai pointed back at the diner.

"Then you'd be late." Luke scoffs.

"A funny conundrum, but I want pie." She shrugs.

"You're harassing me now." He rolled his eyes.

"I'm not harassing you. We're your groupies." She made a high pitched voice, "Oh Luke, you're so dreamy, be my guy!"

"No, be my guy!" Anna and Rory made the same voice.

"I'm bringing up the need for more police protection at this thing." Luke opens the door to see the town meeting has already started.

"I think we're late," Mia whispers.

"What's going on here?" Luke asks.

"Uh, nothing." Taylor standing behind his beloved podium shrugs.

"Meeting was supposed to start at eight Taylor, it's a minute to eight." Luke held his watch up.

"Well…" Taylor stretched out.

"Oh, you might as well be honest with him, Taylor," Patty said from her seat behind him.

"Be honest with him about what?" Luke asked.

"Well, if you must know, there was a special issue that the business community had to deal with first, so we decided to start early tonight." He avoided the question.

"I'm in the business community and I wasn't told about it. Taylor?" Luke glares at the older man.

"Alright, fine. You weren't invited, Luke." He sighs.

"And why is that?" Luke walks up to the podium.

"Controversy," Mia whispers.

"You weren't invited because we are dealing with the Jess situation," Taylor explains.

"The Jess situation? I told you it was me who did the chalk outline." She told the room making the crowd gasp. "I was trying to introduce the idea of a murder mystery for Halloween. I'm sorry to anyone who panicked, it was not a well thought out plan." She apologized to the room.

"It may have been a misunderstanding this time, but Jess has other charges. He stole the save-the-bridge money." Taylor brought up his biggest problem with the teen.

"He gave that back." Luke reminds him.

"He stole a gnome from Babette's garden." He pointed a finger in Luke's face.

"Pierpont was also returned." Luke waves his hands in Taylor's face.

"He hooted one of my dance classes," Patty said.

"I was with him that day. It was only a joke and those girls were thrilled about it." Anna defends him. The young preteens had a crush on the older bad boy.

"He took a garden hose from my yard," Fran said.

"My son said he set off the fire alarms at school last week," Andrew shouted.

"I heard he controls the weather and wrote the screenplay for Glitter," Lorelai yelled.

"I think it's time for me to pipe up here." Bootsy stood up.

"Oh yeah, that'll be good." Luke scoffs. Anna huffs, knowing this wasn't going to be good.

"I have every right to pipe in here, Luke. I'm a local entrepreneur." Bootsy argued that his opinion was important.

"You took over your father's newsstand Bootsy, it doesn't make you an entrepreneur." He glares at his old classmate.

"And you took over your old man's hardware store." He squinted at Luke not seeing his point.

"And turned it into a diner." Luke had to start from scratch, while Bootsy just kept all his dad's old connections.

"Big whoop. Who can't fry an egg?" He shrugs.

"Let's keep it moving here boys, huh?" Taylor brought them back on topic.

"I never liked the look of that kid from the second I saw him," Bootsy said.

"Unbelievable." Luke throws his hands in the air. Anna nods along behind him.

"Excuse me, but I've got the floor," Bootsy told him.

"You don't have the floor." Luke shook his head.

"I'm standing, aren't I?" He scoffs.

"Well, I was standing first which means I have the floor and I'm not giving it to you." Luke pointed at the ground.

"What is with you too?" Taylor looked between them.

"This goes way beyond the Jess matter, Taylor. Luke's been on my case since the first grade when he wrongfully accused me of sabotaging a clay imprint that he made of his hand." Bootsy explains the feud.

"Ooh! Think hard, was he dressed like Sulu?" Lorelai yells from the back.

"No one cares about the stupid clay hand, Bootsy. And you stomped on it while it was drying. Three kids saw you." Luke put up three fingers.

"No, I didn't," Bootsy argues.

"You did too!" Luke nods.

"No, I didn't." Bootsy shook his head.

"Boys, please. The bottom line here is that there is a consensus among townspeople who are in agreement that Stars Hollow was a better place before Jess got here." Taylor had to once again bring them back on topic.

"I have never been more disgusted with this town in my life," Anna shouted, getting everyone's attention. "When I started Chilton and everyone found out I lived in a small town. They would ask me questions like if it was cult-like or are we horrible to people from other places. I defended this town, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe we are because if Jess was from here this would be brushed under the rug. Like Andrew's son's wild party last year that ended with a neighbor's mailbox being blown up. " She pointed at Andrew who had the decency to look ashamed. "Or, me drawing the chalk outline. When everyone thought it was Jess, you wanted serious punishment but when it was me, you were willing to look the other way. Come on, people. Nothing Jess has done has caused any damage. He has done nothing to make us believe that he would. Fran, since you had the sprinklers set up you haven't even used your hose. When he pulled that fire alarm, he showed that the school needs more drills because no one knew what to do. Miss Patty, those girls dance their hearts out after Jess hooted at them. Before that, they were playing around and you know it." She pointed at everyone who accused Jess of something. "This isn't the town that I love." She walks out of the meeting, heading home to binge-watch Golden Girls to make herself feel better.

"While it is true that Jess hasn't done any damage. We want to make sure that he never does." Taylor said after a few moments of silence.

"Look, I've lived in this town my entire life, longer than most everybody here," Luke shouted in anger that he was going on after Anna's speech.

"I beg to differ. I'm five weeks older than you, that means I've been here five weeks longer." Bootsy shouted.

"I've never bothered anyone. I've kept to myself and I've done the best I could. I pay my taxes, and I help people when I can. I haven't pitched in on the decorative pageantry town stuff because it all seems insane to me, but I don't get in the way of that stuff either." Luke brought up all that he's done for them.

"What's your point, Luke?" Taylor didn't see the connection.

"His point is…do you mind?" Lorelai stood up.

"Be my guest." He waved his hands.

She moved to stand in the aisle. "His point is if there's a problem…"

"And I'm not saying there's a problem," Luke adds on.

"Right, he's not saying there is a problem, but if there is, give him time to deal with it before you storm his diner with torches and pitchforks." Lorelai agreed with her daughter, they were being gross.

"Right. What I'm dealing with, being a problem, that I don't necessarily agree that I even have." Luke began to sound crazy.

"Right." Lorelai nods.

"I didn't get that last part," Taylor said.

"Lay off him because what you're all doing stinks," Lorelai yells at the room.

"I'm done here. I'm done with all of you. Oh, and I was gonna stay open later in case anyone wanted to eat after the meeting. Forget that." Luke storms out.


Lorelai, Rory, and Mia walk out of the town meeting. "Well, I must say that was quite exciting." Mia held onto the railing as she walked down the stairs.

"A little disturbing. I think the whole town needs a field trip." Lorelai put her coat on.

"Do you think Luke and Anna are okay?" Rory asked.

"They will be. They just need to cool off a little." Lorelai nods.

"Hey, I'm gonna go check on Dean. He's been scraping that outline off the cement for two days now." Rory told them.

"Good idea. There's nothing like your face on his to make the cleaning process go faster." She put a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"She's all yours Mia." Rory smiled.

"I'll take her." She held on to Lorelai's arm.

"Bye hon." Her mom waves as she walks to the market. She stopped when she saw Jess. She stomps over to him and taps on his shoulder.

"Yes?" He asked.

"What the hell is your problem?" She snaps.

"I'm sorry. Did I do something to offend?" He asked.

"Not me, but you might want to ask that same question to Luke or Anna." She crossed her arms.

"What are you talking about?" He was confused.

"You've got this whole town down on him. Anna gets upset with everyone in town while she defends you." She glares.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He shrugs.

"You know how you did that." She scoffs.

"I'm not really familiar with the blue book laws in this town, so you can be talking about a lot of things. Dropping a gum wrapper, strolling arm in arm with a member of the opposite sex on a Sunday." He looks around the small town. Rory gestures to the chalk outline. "Ah. What about it?"

"You did it. You let Anna take the blame for it. I saw you hiding on the stair at Luke while she took the wrap for you. She is the only person willing to be friends with you and you do that to her." She never felt the need to protect her sister. Anna always stood up for herself, but for some reason, she was letting Jess take advantage of her. She couldn't stand by and not say anything.

"I didn't ask her to do that. Besides, it sounds like she's going to be the queen of whatever Halloween event they have here." He pretended like he didn't think it was a big deal.

"At the town meeting, they were berating Luke for everything else you did in town like steal Fran's hose and pull the fire alarm." She pointed at the dance studio.

"You actually went to that bizarro town meeting? Those things are so To Kill a Mockingbird." He grimaced at the thought of it.

"Yes, I went. Anna and Luke went. And when he got there, everyone ganged upon him. They all want you gone." She told him.

"Wow, bummer." His tone dripped with sarcasm.

"And he and Anna are standing there yelling at everyone and defending you. Luke was willing to pay Taylor back for his lettuce losses…" She went on.

"Wait, his what?" Jess didn't think this town could get any stranger.

"And now Luke's a pariah and it's all because of you!" She glares at the teen whose facial expression never changes. "What a shock, you don't care about any of this."

"I didn't say that." Jess never saw the girl so flustered.

"Go. I'm tired of talking to you." Rory waved her hand for him to leave.

"Fine." He walks away, even though she was the one to approach him.

"You care nothing about Luke and his feelings! Or my sister's feeling either!" Rory yelled at his back.

"Got a second wind, huh?" He walks back over.

"All he does is stick up for you and all you do is make his life harder. I guess that's what you have to do when you're trying to be Holden Caulfield but I think it stinks. Luke has done a lot for my mom and a lot for me, and even more for Anna, and I don't like to see him attacked. I don't like seeing Anna getting upset, especially over someone who could care less about her. She has been hurt before, she doesn't need to get hurt again. Okay, second wind over." She turns away from him.

"I didn't know they were coming down so hard on him. I should have said something when Anna took the blame. But, I didn't. I don't know why, I was stunned. No one has done anything like that for me. I didn't know either of them would get that upset about people talking bad about me." He admitted more than he wanted to.

"Funny, I never pegged you as clueless, my mistake." She scoffs. Anna told her all of Jess's opinions on literature, so she knew he wasn't dumb.

"Okay. I get it." He went on when he saw her look of doubt. "No, no, I do, I get it. So did you at least think it was funny?" He pointed to the outline.

"That is so not the point." Rory stared at him in disbelief.

"Ah, you thought it was funny." He nods.

Dean walks out of the market. "Hey, Rory." His smile turned into a frown when he saw Jess.

"Um Dean, I don't think you two have met. This is Jess. This is Dean." She introduced them.

"The boyfriend, Anna, mentioned you before." Jess looks him up and down. She was right, he looked like a tool.

"Oh, your friend with Anna?" Dean has seen him around town.

"Yeah, tell your sister I'll see her later. I owe her." He nods to Rory before walking off. Rory stares at his back, feeling scared for her sister's heart. Even though Anna insisted they were only friends. She saw her sister's face lit up when he spoke to her. She spoke about him all the time. He didn't appear to feel anything for her, not even friendship.


Lorelai, Anna, and Rory walk up to the front door. "I wonder if Grandpa's still in Akron?" Rory asks.

"Well for Akron's sake, I hope he's moved on to Boise." Lorelai rings the doorbell and the maid answers. "Hi. We're the daughter and the granddaughters." She pointed at herself then her kids. The maid let them in.

"You are majorly crabby." Rory pointed out.

"I just have a headache." She groans. They took off their coats for the maid to grab.

"Oh Good! Come, come, come, it's all done, and it's great." Emily pulls them into Richard's study to see the portrait. "Tada." Emily shows the finishing works. Rory was in a study reading a book. Anna looked like she was in a magical world of purple trees and grass.

"Whoa." Anna gasps.

"What do you think?" Emily asked.

"It's amazing." She smiled up at her portrait. She looked like a character from one of her period novels.

"It's freaky." Rory didn't know how to feel about looking at an oil painting of herself.

"Freaky?" Emily asked.

"Well, just seeing me here, upon the wall like that, it's uh. . . I like it though. It's good, I guess. I should probably take myself out of the judging process." It was wild to see herself up on a wall looking so regal.

"I think Richard's just gonna love it. It's the perfect thing, don't you think?" She looks back at her daughter.

"Mm-hmm." She hummed.

"You've got to admit, it turned out better than you thought it would." Emily knew Lorelai thought it was a bad idea.

"Yeah." She shrugs.

"Well, come on, say a little more than that." Emily wanted everyone to share in the excitement.

"It's great Mom, it's fabulous. It's just a notch below Rembrandt." She crossed her arms and rolled her eyes.

"Well, you don't have to take that attitude." Emily turns to her. Anna and Rory stood behind Emily wondering what their mother's problem was.

"What do you want from me? I'd light some sparklers and jump up and down yelling Yay for the painting but I'm fresh out of sparklers and my feet hurt too much to jump. But I promise next week when I have more energy, I'll write a love song for the chandelier." She was patronizing in the worst way. Emily leaves the room.

"You apologize right now," Anna pointed out the door. Lorelai sighs before walking after her mother.

"I don't know what's wrong with her but she doesn't have to be like that to grandma." Rory shook her head at her mother.

"I swear if we do anything she was supposed to do as a teen she makes a big deal out of it." Anna sat down on her grandfather's chair, waiting to be called for dinner.


Lorelai, Anna, and Rory were sitting at a table eating at Luke's. "Oh man, it's such a relief to have that Sookie thing fixed." Lorelai smiles. She blows up on Sookie over buying their own inn because she felt weird about Mia selling the Independence Inn.

"I know. I hate fighting with friends." Rory agrees.

"That's what enemies are for." Anna points her fork at her sister.

"And God knows we have our share of those." Rory nods.

"People who eat crunchy food with their mouths open," Lorelai said.

"People who dog-ear library books." Rory gave hers.

"People who talk in the third person," Anna said.

"People who spit when they talk." Lorelai gave another.

"Oh gross, you got me in the eye!" Rory held her eyes.

"Ew, spit in your eye." Anna passes Rory a napkin.

"I did not." Lorelai denies.

"You totally did!" Rory grabs the napkin to wipe it.

"You're full of it." Lorelai sang.

"Luke, where's my toast?" Rory called.

"Ah, it's gonna take awhile. My big toaster's broken so I got stuck with just this dinky one." He pointed at his small personal toast. Jess pushes down the handle on the big toaster, showing Luke that it works. "How did that happen?" He pushed down on the handle repeatedly.

"You're gonna break that," Jess warns him.

"It was broken before," Luke told him.

"Well, it must've got better." Jess shrugs.

"Inanimate objects don't usually get better. Did you fix this?" He points at the toast.

"Please." He scoffs.

"Jess." Luke didn't know anyone else who would have done it. Caesar tried and he couldn't do it. Anna was scared to get electrocuted even though it wasn't plugged in.

"I have no idea what you're babbling about. I don't fix things." He denies.

"But yesterday…" Luke didn't see why he was against saying he did something good.

"I got to go to school." Jess grabs his coat and heads to the door. Rory and Anna smile at Jess as he leaves.


Jess was waiting for Anna as she got off the bus from school. "Hey." She thanks him as he passes her a cup of coffee. She was alone today because Rory was at the Franklin. It was a layout meeting, so she didn't have to be there. After the first week, she only had to go for assignments and turn in her pictures.

"I wanted to thank you for taking the blame for the outline." He walks along the sidewalk with her. "Why did you do it?"

"I don't know. I knew that Taylor was being dramatic and wanted Luke to bring the hammer down on you. Your relationship with him is already rocky. It felt like the straw that was going to break the camel's back for everyone." She explains her reasoning.

"Don't do it again." He orders.

"Excuse me, weren't you just thanking me?" She stops to stare at him confused.

"I appreciated it, but you could get in real trouble trying to clean up my mess." He gave her that tense stare that twisted her up inside.

"Then don't make a mess for me to clean up." She crossed her arms.

"Come on, you're more sensible when you're full." He pulls her into Antonioli for pizza as a thank you.