Lorelai, Anna, and Rory are building a snowwoman in the center of town. "How do you like that mouth?" She used a small twig for the mouth.
"Um, it's not very mouthlike." Rory steps back to get a better look.
"She looks angry." Anna looked at the eyebrows they had pointed down and the side frown.
"Oh, I think it works." Lorelai disagrees.
"It's tilted to the side." Rory pointed out.
"Yeah, no, it was intentional. It gives her a unique expression." She admires her work.
"Like she had a stroke?" Rory asks.
Anna leans back to get a better look at her. "She looks constipated."
"You said she looked angry earlier." She was feeling picked on for her artist take.
"When I'm constipated, I'm angry." She shrugs.
"Fine, I'll just use the Mrs. Potato Head lips." She pulled the toy accessory out of her pocket.
"No, forget it, leave stroke-mouth. It's not like we're gonna win this anyway." Rory sighs in defeat.
"I don't know why anyone else is even trying with that guy. Is he even from here? You should have to live here." Anna crosses her arms.
"Whoa, bad attitudes." Lorelai looked appalled that people on her team would suggest that.
"Mom, face it. That is the single most incredible snowman I have ever seen." Rory gestures to the man working on an elaborate snow sculpture. It looked like Scrooge, grumpy expression included.
"I'm sorry, that snowman is way over the top, way too showy. It's screaming, I'm incredible, I'm special, look at me." Lorelai mocked it.
"Kind of the point of a snowman-building contest." Rory sighs.
Lorelai turned around to look at him. He spotted her and waved, so she waved back. "Hmm, I hate this man with every fiber of my being." She told them while she smiled at the man.
"He looks nice." Rory watched as he spoke to people who wandered over to him.
"He's a ringer," Lorelai stated.
"He's a weirdo." Anna side eyes him.
"How do you figure?" Rory asked them.
"Someone recruited him, promised him a handsome sum, financed his theatrical snowman accouterments, so he could snatch victory away from a deserving local to bag the contest prize for himself." Lorelai gave the backstory she made for him.
"Seems a little elaborate considering that the prize is a set of new US quarters." Rory scoffs.
"That's why he's a weirdo. Who drives miles to do a snowman contest, when the prize is 50 cents? It would take years for those quarters to gain any value, we're talking about his grand grand grand grand, add ten more grands, grandkids." Anna glares at him.
"Oh, we're ignoring him now. So, what are we gonna do on your school break?" Lorelai turns their attention back to their snowwoman.
"A lot of nothing," Rory told her.
"Sounds good." Lorelai put the black wig on their snowwoman.
"Plus some homework," Rory mutters.
"Yeah, we got homework," Anna grumbles.
"And a lot of movies," Lorelai adds on.
"Oh, we have to rent Godfather 3 on DVD." Rory perks up.
"You're kidding." Anna and Lorelai stared at her, waiting for her to start laughing.
"In the audio commentary, Coppola defends casting Sofia," Rory told them.
"Now that is fatherly love. What's all this homework you have to do?" Lorelai wonders.
"Just stuff for the paper," Rory said. Anna groaned, sure her part was easier. She only had to take pictures but still. She didn't want to go to school to take a picture of the renovation they're during over the break.
"What? Why?" Lorelai gasps that it wasn't even class things. Anna replaced the twig mouth with the miss potato head lips.
"Because Paris wants the first issue back to be a double issue, so we have to prep over the break and she says the news never sleeps." Rory stopped when Lorelai put her hands up to say no more.
"What about Paris, does she ever sleep?" Lorelai tilts her head.
"I think she periodically makes a whirring noise and then just shuts down." Rory pointed to her sister, who imitated what that would look like.
"Well, you can't work the whole time." Lorelai looked at Rory, knowing that she was a workaholic.
"I won't, I promise. Oh my God." Rory looks behind them.
"What?" She asks.
"He's power buffing." Rory points.
"Who uses power tools to make a snowman?" Anna whines.
"Aw, now that is just wrong." Lorelai shook her head.
"We're competing against the Michelangelo of snow." Rory glares.
"And we're Ernest building a snowman." Lorelai dropped the pumpkin carving tool she was using to sculpt.
"We shouldn't look at him anymore." Rory looks down at her feet.
"Heads down, stay focused." Lorelai stared at their work.
"We can do this." Rory nods in determination.
"Absolutely." Anna agrees. Their snow woman's head falls off, making them lose all hope.
"Let's get some coffee?" Rory asks.
"Right behind you." Lorelai nods.
"Don't look," Anna whispers as they walk past snow Scrooge.
The Gilmore family were eating dinner silently. Rory gets Lorelai's attention and gestures for her to say something. "So, what are your travel plans, Dad?"
"Hmm?" Richard looked up surprised that someone spoke to him.
"You and mom, you always go out of town this time of year." Lorelai went on.
"Last year it was the Bahamas," Rory remembers how happy they were when they came back from that trip. She thought maybe if they went on another it would fix their relationship.
"Yes, that's right, it was." Richard felt like it was a long time ago.
"I remember you had fun too. You said the Bahama…mians were real nice. The Bahamites? The Bahamamamamians?" Lorelai looked at Rory to get the name of the people.
"The Bahamians," Rory told her.
"Yes. They were nice." Lorelai looked at her dad.
"They were nice." Emily agrees.
"So, what are your plans?" Anna asked.
"We're not going anywhere this year," Emily told them.
"Why not?" Rory asks. Emily looked over at Richard, who stared down at his plate. "Oh, well yeah, it can be nice just to stay at home sometimes because you can do fun things that you normally wouldn't have time for." She tried to fix the awkwardness.
"Yeah, like play Running Charades, and get out that Slip 'n Slide." Lorelai teased.
"Or you could do movie night or pick up a new hobby to do together like... crafting." Anna paused when she had to think of a hobby.
"We'll see." Richard cut them off.
"Yes, we'll see." Emily sounds like she was dreading it.
"Would you all excuse me? I have to make some calls. Say goodbye before you leave, will you?" Richard gets up after he finishes his food.
"Yeah, sure Dad." Lorelai nods as he leaves the room.
"He is not even going to stay for dessert." Anna pouts.
"When is this awfulness with work gonna resolve itself?" Lorelai asks.
"I don't know. The man is so sensitive. He reads so much into every little perceived slight." Emily was more frustrated than them. She was dealing with this every day, while they only had to on Fridays.
"Yeah. I remember one time when I was a kid, Dad had put on some weight, and he bought a new suit to try to cover it up. And he wore it for us and he said, 'How do I look?' and I said, `You look fat." Lorelai saw the looks she was getting from everyone at the table that said this wasn't the same thing. "But I guess that wasn't a perceived slight…so, I'll think of another example."
Lorelai, Sookie, Anna, and Rory are sitting at a table in Lukes. Mourning that the fancy dinner their mom and friend were planning got canceled.
"I've got thirty pounds of aged beef, trays, and trays of trout, mountains of pruned tarts. I diced pumpkins until my hands turned orange. I've got pumpkin hands." She put her hands up to show they were tinted orange.
"Take a sip." Lorelai nods to her coffee.
"How can you stay so calm about this?" Sookie looks at her friend who was just as excited about the party as her.
"There's nothing we can do about it." She shrugs.
"I can't believe they got snowed in." Rory felt bad for them.
"I was so excited to learn how to make plum pudding." Anna pouts.
"All that work, all that extra help we hired. Oh well, at least they paid for it already. We didn't lose any money." Lorelai looked on the business bright side.
"Yeah, I guess. You know, I could still make up the dinner for the four of us." She pointed at everyone at the table.
"Yeah, but then it would be like the four of us, all alone in the dining room." Rory thought it would seem lonely.
"It would be like The Shining, except instead of Jack Nicholson, we have Rune." Lorelai smiled at getting a laugh from Sookie.
Luke walks over to them. "You girls want anything besides coffee?"
"Hey, what about Luke?" Sookie asks the girls.
"What about him?" Luke wondered what they were going to involve him in.
"He eats, and Jess eats. Doesn't Jess eat?" She looked up at Luke, realizing she never saw him eat.
"He eats." Anna laughs.
"What's she doing?" Luke asks Lorelai.
"I think she's inviting you for dinner." She spoke for her friend.
"Yeah, come on, join us. It'll be fun. You like Peacock Pie?" Sookie danced in her seat.
"I'm a hundred percent sure I don't." Luke shook his head.
"There'll be normal food too," Lorelai assured him.
"And decorations." Rory saw all the things they ordered.
"And music." Sookie nods.
"People in costumes." Anna smiles.
"Come on, it'll be fun," Lorelai shouts.
"Well…" Luke was trying to think of a way to get out of this.
"Hey, you know what? Let's invite everyone." Lorelai turns to Sookie.
"Everyone who?" She put her hand on her arm.
"Everyone everyone." Lorelai gestures outside.
"Everyone everyone who?" Sookie asked, making Anna laugh.
"I think there are some people Sookie doesn't want there." Anna snickers.
"Everyone we know, everyone we like." She went into more details.
"And they could even stay in the inn. All those empty rooms, all those uneaten pillow mints." Rory smiled, getting into the idea.
"An out of control, over the top slumber party!" Lorelai was getting excited about the party again.
"I love it!" Sookie and Anna cheer.
"Me too!" Rory claps her hands.
"Done! Spread the word." She pointed at Luke.
"I haven't said I'd come yet so I'm certainly not gonna suddenly become your messenger boy." Luke scoffs. Lorelai stares at him like she was about to cry. "Eight o'clock?"
"Seven." She said like he was stupid.
"Right." He nods and walks off.
Lorelai and Anna were sitting on the couch as Rory walked in with some drinks. "Hey, did Bootsy RSVP?" Lorelai asks.
"Yeah, he's coming." Rory put the two drinks down on the table before standing with hers.
"Thanks. Is he bringing anybody?" Lorelai asks.
"He's coming solo." She told her.
"Okay. I'm gonna put him in room 16 with Luke." She wrote in her book.
"You can't do that." Rory scolds her.
"There will be no room in the morning." Anna nods. "Bootsy is not even allowed to dine in, everything has to be taken out."
"Come on, let me have my fun." Lorelai whines.
"Luke's coming with Jess." Rory reminds her.
"Well, I'll put Jess in with Miss Patty." Lorelai smiled.
"There will be no Jess left in the morning." She sat down on the armchair.
"You stink." She pouts.
Rory picks up a pile of cards. "Are these last year's cards or this year's?"
"This year's, of course." Lorelai didn't keep any of those cards.
"Don't scoff. Last year's sets were still sitting here 'till Halloween." Rory reminds her.
"Don't look without me." Anna got up to sit on the arm of the chair to look at the pictures.
"Hey, if that's a crack at my housekeeping skills...well then, okay." She shrugs, going back to looking at the guest book.
"Wow." Rory and Anna gasp.
"What?" Lorelai asked.
"This is one ugly looking baby. Whose baby is this?" Rory turns a card over to show her.
"That's your second cousin's Stan's. Poor kid." She pointed to the picture.
"Ugh, he got Stan's everything." Rory grimaced.
"That's not even the ugliest baby in the bunch," Lorelai told them.
"Not possible." Anna looks over her sister's shoulder as she flips through them.
"Ouch!" They lean back
"That's the ugliest baby in the bunch," Lorelai confirmed what they already saw.
"Hopeful, she'll be an ugly duckling and turn into a beautiful swan." Anna prayed for the baby.
"I don't understand why people put pictures on cards." She looked at the baby.
"Do they not understand we are unapologetic mockers?" Lorelai laughs.
"There's an unexplained innocence in the world. Hey, I didn't see this." Rory showed the new card to her sister.
"See what?" Lorelai asked.
"Dad." She turns the card around for her to see.
"Oh." Lorelai nods.
"And the woman I'm assuming is Sherry." She looks at the card closer.
"She's pretty." Anna noticed.
"Uh, did I not show you that? Huh." Lorelai made like it just slipped her mind.
"They've got a cute little puppy and everything." Rory nods.
"So cute." Anna gushes at the dog.
"Oh, I must've put it in the stack and forgotten to tell you about it. Well, there it is." She had a fake smile on.
"Nice looking lady." Rory hands it to her sister, so she could get a closer look.
"Mm-hmm. Like a young Tammy Faye Baker." Lorelai gave a reference.
"But prettier than that." Rory corrected.
"Much prettier." Anna looks at the beautiful woman.
"Oh, I didn't mean not pretty. Hey, a question about the room list." She changed the subject.
"Yeah?" Rory nods.
"Room 31, why is it empty?" She saw the empty slot.
"Oh yeah, I wanted to run an idea by you." Rory took the card back from Anna to put it back in the pile.
"Run it." She nods to let her know she was listening.
"I thought maybe a certain depressed man and his wife could stay there." She smiled.
"Oh, good idea." Anna pats her sister's shoulder.
"Woody and Soon-Yi?" Lorelai played dumb.
"Grandma and Grandpa." Rory corrects.
"Ugh, you've got to be kidding." She sighs.
"But, this could help to cheer him up." Rory insisted.
"I'll send him a Def Jam Comedy tape. That'll cheer him up." Lorelai didn't want that train wreck coming to her special party.
"It's a really good thing to do." Rory tried to convince her.
"We'll donate money to charity, that's a good thing too. We'll stop kicking dogs." Lorelai gave alternative nice acts.
"It'll make Friday less awkward. I hate saying it, but it's better when Grandpa is not there. I hate feeling like that." Anna felt guilty for perking up whenever their Grandpa would miss a Friday night.
"Alright, I'll pencil them in, but they'll probably say no." Lorelai gave in.
"Yeah, but we're not gonna hope that they say no, right?" Rory narrows her eyes.
"Right." She didn't look up from the guest book.
"Right, because that would be really bad karma, especially on top of making fun of the ugly babies." Rory got up to put the Christmas cards on the table.
"Uh, I have a new year's resolution for you: become more cynical and self-absorbed," Lorelai suggested.
"I'll work on it." Rory rolled her eyes.
The night of the Bracebridge Dinner, Anna was with Sookie in the kitchen. "You got this, Sookie. Everything is on schedule." She rubs her back while showing her the clipboard that had everything ticked off.
Sookie breathed into the paper bag, trying to calm herself down. "There is still a lot that can go wrong." She took the paper bag away from her mouth to say.
"Everything is prepared, and all there is left to do is put things in the oven and final touches. All the timers work, so we'll be fine." She reassured her.
"You're right. You're a good apprentice." She pats her shoulder.
"Thank you." Anna smiled.
"I got everything from here. Go change." She took the clipboard.
"You sure?" She asked.
"Positive." She pushed her out the door.
Anna went up to the room, she was sharing with her mom and sister. She took a bath before sitting down at the vanity. She put on light pink lipstick, goldish brown eyeshadow, and light pink blush. She brushed her hair, leaving them in their natural waves. She put on an off the shoulders black lace bodice red wine dress that fell just above her knees. She slips on a pair of black heels and silver hooped earrings. She hummed in delight when she saw her red manicure nails made it through the kitchen preparation.
She went downstairs to see Rory standing in front of Paris who was talking in Portuguese to her nanny when Dean and Clara walked in. "Oh, it's the cute little sister." Anna walks over with Rory to greet them.
"Hey." Dean smiles at his girlfriend.
"Hello there. Hey Clara. Nice, is that a Stella McCartney?" Rory smiled at the little girl.
"It's a Wal-Mart." She told them.
"Well, it's very pretty." Rory nods while keeping her smile on.
"You look very adorable. Dean is going to have to beat the boys off soon." Anna teased.
"Oh god, don't say that." He shook his head. He turned back when he heard the door open. "I didn't know he was coming."
"Who?" The sibling looked at the door to see Jess and Luke.
"Jess." He groaned.
"Yeah. Is that a problem?" Rory watched as her sister stiffen. She didn't want Anna to have another reason to not like Dean.
"Not really." Dean saw the same thing that Rory did. He knew that Anna had taken a liking to the newcomer.
"Dean," Rory told him with her eyes to not lie to her.
"It's just that, he got into this fight with this guy at school, and when I broke it up he started in on me." He explains.
"He hit you?" Rory asks.
"He tried." Dean scoffs like it would be a joke for him to fight Jess.
"Why would he do that?" Rory's jaw dropped.
"Don't ask me to explain that jerk." He turns around to look at him. Jess gave a teasing wave. "He better not do that all night."
"I'll make him behave." Anna walks over to greet her friend. "I thought you were too cool for this."
"I am, but I'm here." He nodded to Luke.
"Please, you didn't put up much of a fight." He didn't want to add that he never did if he knew Anna was going to be present.
"If I didn't come I would starve." He made up a lame excuse.
"Come on, I'll show you guys to your room." She took the key from Rory when she walked past her. She led them up the stairs and to their room. "Here you guys are. I like to say that Rory and I saved her for Lorelai's mischief tonight."
"What was she going to do?" Luke took the key from her.
"She was going to room you with Bootsy and you with Miss Patty." She pointed at Luke then Jess. They made a disgusted face. "Remember that when you're both pretending to not like the other's company." She pinches Jess's cheek and runs away before he could scold her.
"They're here," Lorelai whispered to her daughters, who were looking over the guest list to see who else was coming.
"Who?" Rory asked.
"The Joy-less Luck Club." She nodded to her parents who were walking over to them.
"Hello, girls. You look particularly lovely tonight." Richard gave them a real smile for the first time in months.
"Thanks, Grandpa." His granddaughters smiled back.
"Thanks, Dad. You guys look nice yourselves." Lorelai was happy to see him in good spirits.
"Seems like the occasion called for it." He ran a hand over his suit jacket. "The air seems crisper here than Hartford. It's wonderful."
"Hey Dad, you didn't grab the wrong prescription bottle earlier today, did you?" Lorelai asked, getting a nudge from Anna.
"What?" He asked.
"Nothing." Rory didn't want his good mood ruined.
"I think she was making one of her funny jokes." Emily smiled up at her husband.
"Oh, went straight over my head." He laughed.
"Let me get someone to help you with your bags." Lorelai pointed at his bag that was over his shoulder.
"No, no, I've got them. Just point me to the room." He held his hand out.
"You guys are in room 31, the best room in the place." Rory hands him the key.
"Oh, anything's fine. I'll, uh, see you in a bit." He walks away.
"What got into him?" Lorelai asked.
"He's totally different." Rory agreed.
"So cheerful." Anna watched him walking up the stairs.
"I know. He's been that way for two days. I have no idea why but I'm taking the credit." Emily follows her husband.
"Ugh, a hostess's job is never done. Hi." Lorelai went to greet someone else.
"All I'm saying is you got me hooked on this series and you don't even know when the next book is coming out." Jess finished the A Storm of Swords and was disappointed to find that there wasn't even a release date for the next one.
"You can't rush art." Anna scoffs.
Lorelai and Sookie walk to the front of the room. "Hey everybody, will you gather around? Everyone, everyone! First of all, I want to welcome you to the first annual and probably never to be held again because Sookie's on the verge of a nervous breakdown, Bracebridge Dinner." Lorelai announces to the room.
"I'm fine, everything's fine." Sookie's voice went high and squeaky.
"I also want to thank Mother Nature for snowing in the Trelling Paper Company in Chicago so I can throw this great party for all my friends instead. It's a very special night. And so, since I don't get to eat unbelievably strange food with my friends every day, I have arranged a little surprise. Outside, as we speak, is a line of horse-drawn sleighs and everybody gets a ride." She said, getting a cheer for the crowd. "So, uh, line up and keep it orderly. There's two per sleigh and no cutting in front of each other, that goes for everyone. Except me, 'cause I'll be damned if I'm gonna miss a ride in a horse-drawn sleigh."
"You wanna go?" Anna asked Jesse.
"I think I'll wait for clog dancing." He shook his head.
"Alright, I'll see if Paris wants to ride with me." She walks over to Paris to see her sister standing in line with her. "Where Dean?" She was bummed that Rory took her riding partner.
"Riding with Claire." She nodded to the little girl dragging her boyfriend outside.
Anna pouts as she looks around to see everyone paired up. "It's like dodgeball all over again." She sighs. She wasn't able to find a partner but was able to get a ride alone without anyone commenting. She knew she was only fortunate that Taylor and Kirk were already on their rides.
She let out a small scream when Jess jumped into the sled. "Are you crazy? What if you scared the horse?" She put a hand up to her heart.
"Don't worry the horse isn't as jumpy as you." He smirks.
"I thought you didn't want to come." She narrowed her eyes. Because of him, she had to face rejection over and over tonight.
"I didn't, but then I saw you and it's supposed to be two to a sleigh, no more no less. You were breaking rules, set by your mother no less." He put his hands in his pockets.
"I don't know why you have to make everything complicated. You could have said you wanted to come with me. But no, you have to be a mysterious bad boy. What if you missed and got caught under the sled…. Why are you smiling?" She made her glare harsher when he didn't have the decency to look even a bit ashamed of himself.
"Oh come on, you should be happy. You asked me to come and I'm here." He points at himself.
"Ummm…. I heard you swung on Dean." She changed the subject, not wanting to admit she was happy he was here.
"Who?" He asked.
"Rory's boyfriend." She reminds him.
"Still? You haven't broken them up yet?" He raised an eyebrow.
"I told you I'm happy for her even if I don't like him." She would be supportive of his sister's decision.
"So you say, but the way you glare at him sometimes says otherwise." She always got a grumpy look when she spotted the tall teen."And, I wasn't fighting him. I was fighting someone else. He jumped in on his own." He corrected the story.
"He said he was trying to break it up." She knew that Dean thought of himself as an upstanding gentleman, but he was an entitled asshole. She believes he subconsciously did good deeds just so he could look down on others.
"Well, he's not a referee, so he can leave it to the professionals." He rolled his eyes.
"Who were you fighting?" She asked.
"Chuck Presby." He told her.
"What did the jerk do?" She asked.
"Just being a jerk." He shrugs.
"I have thrown things at him, so I get it." She nods.
"I know, he told me." He looks at her surprised face. "I guess he's seen us around town. He wanted to warn me that you were an unreasonable person who doesn't pay your debts. He went on about some hayride."
"Oh my god, you fought him for me." She puts a hand up to her heart as she dramatically swoons.
"No, that was another time." He lied.
"No, you fought Chuck for me." She hugs his arm and puts her head on his shoulder. "Are you going back to New York for the break?"
"No, my mom doesn't want me." He told her.
"She said that to you." She looks up at him with pity.
"Luke told me it was his idea that I should stay. It wasn't his idea." He wanted that look gone from her face.
"Well, then you can have a Stars Hollow Christmas with me. We can get peppermint hot chocolate, wear ugly Christmas sweaters, and decorate a tree for Luke's." She listed the things they can do together.
"I'm not wearing an ugly sweater." He told her.
"What if I can find a band one?" She asked.
"I'll think about it… That's good." He nods to the snow people.
"Which one?" She asked.
"Yours, of course, the snowwoman." He pointed at her. The Gilmore Girls went back out, put her head back on, and added a scarf.
"How did you know she was mine? Are you stalking me?" She made like she would be honored if he was.
"She is the only one with personality, kind looks like Bjork." He turned to her.
"That's what we were going for." She cheered.
"Yeah?" He pretended like he knew off the bat, not by hearing her talking to her sister about it.
"Sads to say I don't think she's going to win, not with Scrooge over there." She glares at the sculpted snow art.
"Really? I think it's too much." He shook his head. "You should win."
"How do I get you on the judge's table?" She smiled.
"Maybe you can't get me on the table, but you know what." He leaned forward to whisper in the driver's ear. He stopped the sleigh. "Come on, we got to be fast." He grabbed her hand and pulled her off.
"What are we doing?" She asked.
"Getting you those quarters," He smashed Scrooge's head.
"Jess!" She had a scolding tone even though she was smiling.
"Come on." He nods to the snowman. She kicked it, knocking it over. "Okay, back on the sleigh before the next sleigh catches us." He pulls her back to their ride.
"Maybe the townspeople were right, you're a bad influence." She winks.
"Maybe, but you love it." He wraps his arm around her as the horse starts to pull the sleigh again.
All of the guests are seated at a long table. Lorelai was standing at the head of the table with a camera. "Quiet please, everybody. Before the, uh, button popping and the bloating can commence, say cheese."
"Cheese!" Everyone but of course a select few smiled for the camera.
"Uh, now, ladies and gentlemen, Damen und Herren, um, the moment you've been waiting for, I give you the Bracebridge Dinner." Lorelai waved back, signaling for her actors to come through.
Sookie ran out to say, "Whoa, whoa, hold it. We just need a quick minute, please."
"Which will be starting in one quick minute," Lorelai repeated for the guest making them clap.
"Have you ever thought about that? You can't have a quick minute because it's always sixty seconds." Bootsy said to Luke. Anna wondered why her mother sat them next to each other.
"Shut up." He said.
"At least we'll have some good entertainment tonight." Anna nodded to Jess that was sitting on her left.
"Welcome Lords and Ladies. I call upon these sprightly horns to commence our proceedings." Rune steps out for them to see him in an old English costume. He was standing between two men in similar costumes playing their horns. "Hey Chuck Mangione, you wanna back up a step?" He broke character.
"I knew he wouldn't be able to keep it." Anna shook her head.
"And now, fair people, I present my Lord and Master, the honorable Squire Bracebridge." He claps and moves out the way for Jackson to come.
"Lo! Now has come our joyfullest feast. Let every man be jolly." Jackson let out a fake laugh as he walked to his table.
"We should've eaten before we came," Jess whispers to Luke.
"Shh! And yeah." Luke scolded before agreeing with him.
"Humble servant, bring us the first course to dine with pleasure." Jackson sat down and looked at the bowl when Rune placed it in front of him. "Mmm, methinks it be a butternut squash soup."
"Ah, methinks you're right Squire Bracebridge, thus and verily." Rune kneels to be face to face with him.
"And verily thus." Jackson eats a spoonful of soup. "Tis perfection, but extremely hot."
"My Lord, do you need aid? Wouldst thou have thee ice thy tongue?" Rune offers. Anna made a face at the image that pops in her head.
"Ah nay, Rune, nay. To the guests, thou shall serve the soup!" Jackon raised a hand to have the waiters and waitresses hand out the soups.
"What's the white stuff?" Jess looked down at his bowl.
"Coconut cream," Anna told him.
"And the green stuff?" He asked.
"It's just garnished, pick it out if you don't want it….. You too, Luke." She was surprised to see even him staring down at his bowl.
"What... no, I'm fine." He picked the garnish off and took a spoonful in his mouth. "Yummy." He gave her a thumbs up. She nods before eating her soup. Luke shrugs at Jess when his nephew looks at him for his real thoughts. He didn't think it was bad, but he wouldn't order it off a menu.
The horns played. "My Lord, shall dessert be served?" Rune asked.
"Anon, humble servant." Jackson nods, ready for this night to be over. Plum pudding was placed in front of them.
"So there we are, it's a beautiful moonlit Prague night, and we're strolling across the Charles Bridge when we come across this group of kids blasting this song by that. . .oh, that awful woman. Who is she? The tall bony one, married to the deceased mustachioed congressman." Richard was telling the table a story.
"Cher?" Rory asked.
"That's the one!" Richard pointed at her.
"Cher is a goddess," Anna scoffed at someone calling her awful. "She's my karaoke go-to." She turned to Jess. He gave a weak nod.
"The year of Do you believe in life after love?" Lorelai smiled at her daughter.
"A difficult time for all of us." Rory gave the same mischief smile to her sister.
"Do you see how mean they are to me?" She whines to Jess and Luke, but both didn't show any sympathy for her.
"I like that song," Michel spoke up.
"Well, I was appalled. Prague has played host to some of the greatest composers in history. Mozart named a symphony after it, for heaven's sake. So what did I do?" Richard went on with his story.
"I have tried so hard to forget this." Emily rubs her temples. She was embarrassed by this story while he was proud.
"I stood beside them and their boombox and I hummed Mozart's Prague Symphony as loud as I could." He hummed the song.
"A bizarro Battle of the Bands." Lorelai laughed.
"And did it work?" Taylor asked.
"Well, they quickly packed up and went their way." Richard waves his hand.
"But then he kept on humming the Mozart. He wouldn't stop." Emily was annoyed with him that day.
"Well, at that point I was hoping for some gullible tourists to drop money at my feet." He jokes.
"And two of them did." Emily laughs.
"And I kept it!" Richard brags.
"You know, this might be the most interesting conversation I've ever had with an insurance man." Taylor leaned his head on his hand.
"Aww, I'm hurt." He played shocked.
"I'm sorry Richard. What I meant was that…" Taylor apologized for stereotyping.
"No, what you meant was that people in the insurance industry are drones. Well, I agree. They are a dull, dull lot, and I am glad to be rid of them." He puts his hands together. All his family members looked surprised, including his wife.
"Rid of them?" Lorelai asks.
"Oh, have you retired, Richard?" Taylor asked.
"Well, uh…" He looks down at his plate.
"Of course he's not. Richard? Richard?" Emily stares at him.
"Actually, I am." He told her. The table was covered in silence.
"Ah, it's always nice to end a big festive meal with a big festive pall hanging over the room." Lorelai came out of the bathroom to talk to her two daughters that were sitting on a bed.
"Most people didn't notice anything," Rory told her.
"I guess. Bootsy singing Hotel California accompanied by spoons drew people's attention away." Lorelai leans against the desk.
"Did Grandma and Grandpa say a word to each other the rest of the night?" Rory asks.
"No." Anna kept a watchful eye on them.
"Why didn't he tell anyone?" Rory wonders.
"Especially Grandma, she begs him all the time to retire. If he didn't surprise her with it, she would have been so happy." Anna agreed with Rory that it made no sense that he kept it a secret.
"I'm sorry, are you asking me to interpret my parents' motives?" Lorelai could never figure out what they were thinking.
"My mistake. So which bed do you want?" Rory stood up from the bed she was sitting on.
"Take the one by the window." She pointed. Anna got up to go over to the bed she was sharing with her sister.
"Okay." She pulls back the blanket. "Mom!"
"What honey?" She said in a sweet voice.
"You put the picture of the ugly baby in our bed?" Rory pointed at her pillow.
"I didn't, I swear. That ugly baby is stalking us. Runaway!" Lorelai screams in fake horror.
"Poor baby, it's not his fault." Rory picked it up and looked down at the picture.
"On the back, it says it is a girl." Anna pointed at the letter on the back of the card.
"Poor baby, you picked the wrong parents." She puts the picture down on the nightstand and gets into bed. "Hey, have you heard from Dad recently?"
"What dad... your dad?" She looked at them.
"Yeah, my dad." Rory holds the blanket up for her sister to get under.
"Why?" She asked.
"Because he's my dad, and he usually checks in this time of year and he hasn't checked in yet. I mean, I know he's probably busy with Sherry and the new apartment and…." Rory knew he had his own life but he could at least call.
"And the cute dog." Anna couldn't think of her dad now without thinking of the dog.
"There may have been a call." Lorelai didn't realize that they would notice he didn't call.
"There may have been? You don't remember?" Rory tilts her head.
"Well things have been so hectic, you know, with the Bracebridge Dinner, and um, building a snowwoman, and planning the ugly baby gag, that took time." She made excuses.
"Did he or did he not call? Are you lying for him?" Anna asked.
"Yes, he called! He called, he called, he called and invited you two, and it's not too late to go. He called and invited you guys, so there you go. I'm sorry I didn't tell you guys, so there." She stood up to yell.
"He invited us over?" Rory was shocked. Anna was shocked too, they had never been invited to stay at his place before.
"Yes, are you deaf?" Lorelai snaps.
"No, I'm just trying to separate the gist from the ubububububah." Rory mimics her ranting with her hand.
"Well, the gist is he invited you, okay?" She got defensive.
"Why didn't he invite me himself?" Rory asked.
"Because he's pretending to be considerate by running it past me first." He was moving in on territory that was his by right, even though it shouldn't be. She put in the years with them, he shouldn't be able to swoop in and take them from her.
"Was he maybe not pretending to be considerate, and actually being considerate?" Rory thought she was being crazy.
"Maybe. But I wouldn't put it past him to be inconsiderate. The guy doesn't have the greatest track record." She put her hands on her hips.
"Why didn't you tell me this? He's probably waiting for my answer, and holding off making plans." Rory was upset that her mother did this, she had a right to know.
"So, how many times did we have to wait around for his answer that never came." Anna thought of all the plays, holidays, and birthdays she invited him to.
"Because I have dibs on this time of year with you, not him! Me! And yes, he acknowledged that and that was cool and all, but still... it stinks! Because he put me in a very difficult position because we were supposed to watch a lot of movies and make fun of Godfather 3, and the thing that I hate most about this is…is the idea of you not hanging out with me because you're hanging out there with your stupid stepmother." She rants as she waves her hands around.
"You're calling Sherry my stepmother?" Rory made a face at the word.
"Well, she practically is." Lorelai sighs.
"You're wigging." Rory stared at her.
"Wigging big time." Anna nods.
"There is something wrong with that woman," Lorelai told them.
"You don't even know her." Rory and Anna had to stop themselves from laughing in her face.
"You think I'm overreacting?" She gasps at their smiles.
"I think you're jealous of Sherry," Rory said.
"Ha, I'm not jealous of Sherry." She scoffs.
"I don't think you're jealous, I think you feel threatened." Anna didn't think Sherry had anything her mother wanted. This wasn't about Chris, this was about them. Sherry wanted them for the holiday when that was Lorelai's thing.
"That makes more sense because your territory has been threatened." Rory nods.
"Excuse me?" Lorelai looked appalled that they were talking about her like an animal.
"But relax, there are ways to work through situations like this... compromises can be struck." Rory teased.
"Oh, what are you saying?" She sat down on her bed.
"Well, you know, I can still call you Mom, and I'll call her Mommy Sherry." Rory came up with a nickname.
"Maybe Auntie Sherry." Anna would never call anyone else mom.
"Don't be mean." Lorelai didn't like any of those options.
"And we can split up holidays evenly. Like, I'll be with you on Labor Day and her on Memorial Day." Rory made sure to use two holidays that were a few months away.
"Enough." Lorelai didn't want to hear anymore.
"I'll have to find out about her religion though to see how Chanukah will factor into this unless you want to convert to Judaism and then take over Chanukah for yourself," Rory asked.
"Eight nights of gifts." Anna nods.
"I get the point. I overreacted. Please stop." Lorelai begs.
"You overreacted. God." Rory laughs.
"So, do you think you're gonna go and stay with them?" She asks.
"We'll have to think about it." Rory covered Anna's mouth to answer for them. She knew her sister would automatically reject it.
"Do you have to think about it because you know that it's killing me not to know whether you're going or not and you want to torture me?" She crossed her legs.
"Nope, I just don't know if I want to do it." She shrugs.
"Oh." Lorelai breathes out.
"It was nice of him to ask though." Rory did like the offer.
"It was very nice." She agrees.
"'Cause we are rooting for Dad." Rory felt like she had to remind the other two in the room.
"Of course." Just because Anan wasn't ready to meet his girlfriend didn't mean she wasn't rooting for him.
"We are rooting for him. It was a very nice thing that Christopher offered. I was being a little possessive." She put two fingers close together.
"And insanely jealous of his pretty girlfriend." Rory teased.
"Well, I wanna know if she's good enough for him." Lorelai shrugs.
"Me too." Rory nods.
"With all the changes he's made, she must be." Anna didn't see her dad changing for just any woman.
"So, there was an altruistic streak to my madness." Lorelai looked proud of herself.
"We'll go with that." Rory shrugs.
There's a knock at the door. Lorelai answers to see Emily there. "I need a new room."
"What?" She asked.
"I can't stay in that room." Emily walks inside.
"There are no other rooms, Mom." Lorelai closes the door.
"Well, then I'll go home," Emily yelled.
"Grandma, it's late." Rory reminds her.
"And pitch black, and the roads are icy. You can't be driving." Lorelai crossed her arms.
"Well, I'm not going back to that room." Emily refused.
"I'm guessing you and Dad had it out about the job thing?" Lorelai stated the obvious.
"We haven't even spoken since dinner. I'm so upset, I wouldn't know where to begin. And I couldn't take being around him anymore. What he did is inexcusable. Not letting me know he left his job. As if it didn't affect me?" She felt like he didn't care about her opinion.
"Aw mom, try to calm down. Here you and I can share the bed." She pointed to her bed.
"I'm just a burden." She sighed.
"You're not a burden, Mom," Lorelai said even though she thought it.
"Well, okay, thank you. Can I use the mirror in the bathroom for a second?" She looks at it.
"Yes, I'll use the one out here." She nods. Emily went into the bathroom while Lorelai sat down on the vanity.
Rory and Anan watch as Lorelai and Emily apply some cream to their faces. "Wow," They gasp at how in sync they were.
"What?" Lorelai asked.
"Behold my future." Rory pointed at Emily. Lorelai put the cream down when she saw her mother doing the same.
Emily came out of the bathroom, ready for bed. "How do you turn out the light?"
"I'll get it." Lorelai got up to turn off the lights.
"I still can't believe it." Emily took off her robe.
"Try to relax Mom." Lorelai went to stand on the other side of the bed.
"I hope he doesn't sleep because I surely won't." Emily fluffy her pillow.
"Oh, Mom." Lorelai knew it was going to be a long night.
"These slippers you have here are hardly one size fits all. They're too big." Emily pointed down at the fuzzy slippers.
"Goodnight." She laid down on the bed along with her mother. Rory and Anna did the same after Rory turned off the lamp by their bed.
"It was so irresponsible." Emily stares up at the ceiling.
"Maybe he had no choice." Lorelai shrugs.
"Of course he had a choice. Go to sleep Lorelai." Emily was upset that she wasn't taking her side.
"That job was killing him, Mom. It was killing him." Lorelai stuck up for him.
"I'm going for a little walk." Emily got up.
"Grandma, it's late." Anna sat up to look at her.
"I'm not tired." She puts on her robe and walks out.
"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Gilmores of our lives." Lorelai watches the door close.
The next morning, the guests are leaving, so the Gilmore Girls are seeing them off. "See ya Bootsy." Rory smiled.
"See ya, thanks. By the way, last night did I sing Hotel California?" He vaguely remembers it.
"From beginning to end." Rory nods.
"While banging spoons on your head," Lorelai adds.
"Well, that explains the lumps." He groans.
"Bye." Anna waves to the man as he walks off.
Miss Patt came down next, "Lorelai, darling, oh thank you for everything."
"Patty, your timing is excellent. There's Claude over there. Want me to do some matchmaking?" She pointed at the worker she was obsessed with the night before.
"Aww, he's wearing a golf shirt and cotton Dockers." She pouts.
"So it was the uniform, huh?" Lorelai smiled.
"Aw, it's the Biloxi Naval Base all over again." She was disappointed. "See ya." She glanced back one last time before walking out.
"Bye." The girls waved.
Emily and Richard turn the corner next. "Hey, Mom. You didn't make it back to the room last night. Did you get lucky?" She winks.
"Could you be any cruder?" Emily smiled.
"Yeah, I can be cruder. Hey mom, did you get la…" She was cut off by Rory.
"Thanks for coming! It was fun. Is everything okay?" She gave her grandpa a kiss on the cheek.
"Everything's okay." He nods, hugging Anna.
"We'll see you next Friday." Emily smiled.
"Bye. Bye, Dad." Lorelai waved.
"Bye Lorelai." He followed his wife out.
Sookie and Jackson came down the stairs. "You just had one ale too many. Just drink lots of water to rehydrate." Sookie advises him.
"I will." He nods.
"Jackson, thank you for being our Squire." She told the hangover man.
"Oh, you're welcome. Hey, uh, by the way, last night when Bootsy was singing Hotel California and banging spoons on his head, did I…" He hoped it was a wild dream.
"Lifted your shirt and played drums on your stomach? Yes, you did." Anna let him know it was reality.
"Oh boy." He groans.
"You kept a good beat." Rory tried to make him feel better.
"Yeah, 'cause God knows if the beat was off, you'd have embarrassed yourself." Sookie patted his back as they walked off.
"Thanks, Rory." Clara waved by the front desk with Dean. She walks over to talk to them.
Luke and Jess walk over. "How was your dinner neighbor?" Lorelai teased.
"I'll get you back for that." Bootsy was the most annoying part of last night. The man kept giving him reviews of the food like he wasn't eating it himself.
"But, you guys did enjoy the sleigh ride." Anna smiled at Jess.
"Alright," He shrugs with a lazy smile on his face.
"Bye, you guys." Lorelai waved them off. "Ugh, let's go home." They walk back over to Rory.
"Are we coming to get our bags later?" Rory needed to know when she could get the newspaper things Paris brought.
"Why?" Lorelia asked.
"Because we're walking home. I don't want to carry 'em." Rory said, seeing as they carpooled with Sookie to get here.
"I don't want to carry either." Anna would rather come back with the Jeep also.
"Who says we're walking?" Lorelai pulled them to a sleigh that already had their things in it.
They got in it and rode home. "This is the only way to ride." She looked out at the town.
"I wholeheartedly agree." Rory nods.
Lorelai sees that the elaborate overdone snowman has been smashed. "Whoa, what happened there?"
"I have no idea." Anna shrugs.
"Bad news for the ringer guy. But guess who wins by default?" Lorelai smiled, knowing theirs was second best.
"I guess that would be us." Rory stares at her sister's smiling face with suspicion.
