Anna and Rory ran into the diner, waving their envelopes around. "I got it!"

"You did?" Lorelai got just as excited as them.

"Right here." They sat down at the table.

"Ooh! Well, hurry up, open it!" Lorelai nods to them. The teens ripped open their envelopes. She looks up at Luke, who was holding on to the coffee pot. "Leave the pot, Ethel."

"I'm just an enabler." He put it down before walking away.

"Okay, just remember these are PSATs, okay, so it's like the Baby Gap, they don't count as much. Plus, you can take them over again. Plus, you guys are very young and have years of learning ahead of you and the really important thing is that you tried very hard." Lorelai didn't want them to freak out if they didn't do well.

"I got a 740 verbal and a 760 math." Rory gave her results.

"I got a 760 verbal and a 730 math." Anna cheers.

"Ugh, thank God, you guys are not idiots." She sighs in relief.

"I got a 740 verbal and a 760 math?" Rory read it again in disbelief.

"Those are damn good scores, little lady. Amazing, top-notch. Those are PSAT-rific. Sorry, it was just lying there, I had to go for it. You're frowning." She questioned her oldest face.

"How did I get a higher score in math?" Rory stares at the paper.

"Who cares?" Lorelai didn't see the problem.

"But I'm stronger in verbal. Verbal is my thing." Rory looks up at them.

"No, verbal's my thing." Anna pointed out her higher score.

"Maybe I didn't study hard enough. Maybe I got cocky." Rory frowned at the paper.

"Maybe you need a major mud bath/salt glow/chill pill combo." Lorelai worried about her oldest when she stressed out over good news.

"I'm just saying. . ." She sighs.

"Rory, you got a great score," Lorelai told her.

"You got higher than me in Math." Anna pointed out.

"Yeah but. . ." She squinted at her scores.

"No, a great score." Lorelai stopped her from saying any more negative comments.

"A great score?" She asks.

"That is a score you have earned and you deserve and will allow you to look down on me for many years to come." She teased.

"Okay." She smiled.

"Okay. So we should celebrate. Hey, how about we get all dressed up tonight and hit the Rocky Horror Picture Show?" She spoke about the movie they were showing in the theater.

"Are you serious?" Anna and Rory scream in excitement.

"Please, I'm always serious." She scrunched up her face like it was a ridiculous question.

"Can I invite Lane?" Rory asks.

"Absolutely." She nods.

"Okay. I hope she gets this in time. She's been kind of hard to reach lately." She pulled out her pager.

"Well, maybe she can't handle the pressure of having such a brilliant best friend. Brilliant in math, the verbal's kinda sad." She jokes.

"Thank you, Mom." Rory showed her a glare.

"You're late." Luke came over to remind her.

"Oh shoot, I am. I have to go. Hey, Rory and Anna kicked some major PSAT ass today." Lorelai told him as she put away her things.

"Yeah? Congratulations." Luke beams at them.

"Thank you." They nod.

"And to celebrate, we're gonna hit the Rocky Horror Picture Show tonight." She put her purse on the table.

"Really?" He nods.

"Yes. I am Magenta, Rory usually opts for Janet, Anna is Columbia and I had a thought." She stood up.

"Oh yeah?" Luke was curious to see where this was going.

"Yeah. I was thinking that you could put on some fishnet stockings, a leather teddy, some platform boots, and go with us as Dr. Frank-N-Furter." She put on her coat.

"Hmm. Well, now that is a thought." Luke knew better by now than to shut her down. It would only encourage her annoying behavior.

"You'll also need some gloves and a wig." She told him.

"Gloves, wigs, got it." He nods along.

"I'll do your makeup." She points at herself.

"Oh, that'll be a help." He gasped like he was glad she offered her services.

"There you go." She smiled.

"Okay, sounds great." He agreed.

"Great. So eight o'clock, I'll swing around and get ya?" She points at him.

"Sure, good." He nods.

"Good." She was ready to call his bluff.

"Oh hey, if by some chance you knock on the door but no one answers even though all the lights are on, I'll just meet you there." He gave a fake smile.

"Okay." She nods.

"Okay." He nods.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow morning?" She laughs.

"Yeah, I'll be the one with the coffee." He gave a real smile before walking off.

"Hey, make sure you gloat a little. It's good for the skin." She patted her daughters on their heads before leaving.

"That was some cute flirting." Anna smiled at Rory.

"Oh Anna, bantering isn't everyone flirting." Rory gave the excuse her mom always did before they giggled to each other.


Lorelai was sleeping in bed as her alarm went off. She turns it off, sits up, puts on her robe, and walks into the kitchen. She smiles at Rory and Anna as she pours herself a cup of coffee, then walks outside to the front porch. As she goes to pick up the newspaper, her foot goes through the porch. "Agh! Rory! Anna!" She screamed for them. They ran out to rescue her before bringing her back inside. They called Kirk to come and inspect it since he was also an exterminator. While he did that, they made him some waffles.

"So, do you think the porch is falling apart or do you just weigh a ton?" Rory put some frozen waffles in the toast.

"The porch is fine. It just has a little extra ventilation in it now, that's all." Lorelai leans against the counter.

"The wood is old and rotting," Rory argued.

"You could smell the decay." Anna thought it smelled when they pulled their mom out.

"The wood is not old, rotting, or smelly, it is strong, sprightly, and will be with us for a long, long time to come." She didn't want to think about how much it would cost to fix it.

"So, you do weigh a ton?" Rory squinted at her thin mother.

Kirk opens the back door. "Well, I checked under the entire house."

"And?" Lorelai asked.

"You have termites." He told them.

"Isn't there a better way to say that?" Anna didn't want to think of all the bugs surrounding them.

"I'm afraid not." Kirk shook his head.

"What?" Lorelai never saw any bugs.

"Tens of thousands of them. Subterranean, dry wood, the whole gamut." He informed them.

"Gross." Rory felt as squeamish as her sister.

"Four of them crawled up my nose," Kirk said, scaring the teens.

"Okay, Kirk." Lorelai wants to put an end to it.

But, of course, he went on. "It happens all the time when you're upside down. To them, the nostril looks just like another hollow passage in the wood. They're not too bright."

"Okay, so, we have termites. So what do we… um, don't you want to come inside Kirk?" She felt weird talking to him from the doorway.

"I would prefer to discuss this outside." He closed the door.

"Kirk?" She called for him.

"I didn't think he's coming back." Anna looked out the window to see him walking around to the front of the house. They put on their coats and walk out to meet him.

"Okay, let's get down to it. From what I've just witnessed, your house is a bug-infested smorgasbord. Are those for me?" He points at the waffles in Rory's hand.

"Oh, yeah." She hands him the waffles.

"Thanks." He took them.

"But what do we do?" Lorelai asked.

"Well. . .uh, if you don't mind, I'd prefer to discuss this on the lawn." He points to it.

"Why?" She asks.

"Because this porch could give out on us at any minute." He walks down the steps.

"Kirk, that's crazy. Kirk, stop, the porch is fine." She yelled at his back.

"Your foot went through it this morning." Rory reminds her.

"That was different, that wood was old." Lorelai refused to believe it was the whole house, she wanted to believe it was just that one spot.

"I think it's all the same wood." Anna tried to remember how much she weighed as she stared down at her feet.

"Kirk, what are you doing?" They walk down to see him staring up at the roof.

"Just making sure that if the roof comes down, the debris can't ricochet over here and take me out." He was trying to figure out how it would fall.

"Honey, in five more minutes, it won't need to." She threatens him.

"What?" It went over his head.

"Kirk, please, talk to me about the termites. What do I have to do, tent the place?" She wanted to know how to take care of her problem.

"To start with, yes." He nods.

"To start with?" Rory asks.

"What does that mean?" Lorelai wondered how much this was going to cost.

"Do we have to replace the roof?" Anna thought of the thing he seemed most worried about killing him.

"It means they've done some serious damage under there. They've eaten through the wooden joists. Your foundation has completely lost its structural integrity." Kirk explains.

"Mom, our house is falling down." Rory was horrified.

"Okay, what do I have to do to fix this?" She thought she should have made them stay inside for this.

"You'd have to jack the house up, rebuild the jousts, and repair the weakened parts of the foundation." He told them.

"All for the low, low price of?" Lorelai wanted to know what she was worried about since her foot went through the porch this morning.

"Well, I haven't done the exact estimate, but I'd say somewhere in the neighborhood of fifteen thousand dollars." He gave her a ballpark.

"Tell it to move to another neighborhood." She let out a bitter laugh.

"I'm sorry?" He squints.

"Fifteen thousand dollars?" She asks.

"That's the price of a car." Anna gasps.

"We're never eating again." Rory whines.

"I don't have fifteen thousand dollars. I've never had fifteen thousand dollars. I'm trying to picture fifteen thousand dollars. I can't! That's how unfamiliar fifteen thousand dollars and I are with each other!" She freaked out.

"Well, maybe you can just fix part of the house. Fix the part you like." Kirk with his best intention was trying to make them feel better.

"We like the entire house, Kirk." Lorelai glares.

"Really? Even that kitchen?" He tilts his head.

"Thanks for coming over, Kirk." She sighs.

"So, what are you gonna do?" He asks.

"I don't know yet." She was at a loss as to how she could get that money.

"Oh, 'cause you don't wanna wait too long to address this." He told her.

"Yeah, I get that Kirk." She grumbles.

"You might wanna get the dishes out of there." He began to walk away.

"Good tip." She sneers.

"Thanks for the waffles" He stopped to take a bite.

"Thanks for the horrifying news." She yelled.

"Any time." He yells as he walks to the street where his car was.

"Look at it this way. The day's all uphill from here." She tried to put a smile on for her kids.

"This is really bad." Rory sighs.

"Like start pimping yourself on a corner bad." Anna nods.

"Honey, don't worry. We'll figure something out." Lorelai didn't want them to worry about adult issues.

"Okay. We should get inside." Rory stares up at the house in horror.

"Maybe we can get a tent instead." Anna was too scared to go in.

"No, we should go instead. After you." Lorelai gives Rory a playful push forward.


"Mom, wake up." Anna shook her mother awake in the middle of the night.

"What?" She groaned, opening her eyes slowly.

"We have to get out of here. I can hear them, eating away." She whispers.

"What?" She sat up, thinking there was a robber in the kitchen making himself a sandwich.

"The termites. I can hear them moving around in there." She glares at the wall. "I can't help but think that the next bite will bring the whole house down."

Lorelai listened in silence and gasped when her paranoia let her hear them too. "Where would we go?" She asks.

"Lukes, Patty's dance studio, Sookie's, the bench in the park, it doesn't matter." Anna listed.

"I'm going to get Rory." She jumped out of the bed. After they got Rory as paranoid as them, they got dressed and packed some things to walk to Sookies.

"Ugh, I feel like they're crawling all over me." Rory rubs her arms as they walk down the sidewalk.

"Ugh, I know, with their creepy little fangs and their tail things and their pointy tentacles." She wraps her scarf around her neck.

"You have no idea what a termite looks like, do you?" Rory looks at her mother, wondering how she didn't google them after finding out they had them.

"Hey, unless they're wearing a foundation repair guy T-shirt, I don't care." Lorelai shook her head.

"Are you sure Sookie was up?" Rory didn't see why the woman would be.

"Yeah, she answered the phone." Lorelai nods.

"After how many rings?" She asks.

"I don't know, twenty or thirty." She opens the gate that leads to her friend's house.

"Mom, she was sleeping." Rory gasps.

"And we were being eaten alive." Anna whines.

"That wouldn't be a good enough excuse to wake you up." Rory narrows her eyes. Anna nods, not being about to argue that fact.

"No, no, she's just deaf in one ear," Lorelai told them.

"Since when?" Rory asks.

"Now, apparently." She opens the screen door to the enclosed porch.

"What?" Anna asks.

"Well, you would have to be deaf in one ear not to hear the phone ring twenty or thirty times." She rings the doorbell.

"There they are, my little termite whisperers." Sookie opens the door in a blue robe.

"Hey Sookie, sorry to call so late." Lorelai apologies.

"And so incessantly," Rory said through her teeth while glaring at her mother.

"Well I'm sorry, they were getting organized. I heard one of them yell, charge." She led them inside the house.

"We will make this up to you, Sookie," Rory promised.

She closed the door behind them and walked with them to the living room. "What are you talking about? This is great. It'll be like a slumber party."

"Are you sure?" Rory asks.

"Absolutely. We can raid the fridge. We can make a nice avocado-mango face mask. Get out the tarot cards, tell fortunes, play Twister, make a Häagen-Dazs chocolate chip ice cream milkshake, and we'll watch Purple Rain. . ." Sookie got more excited the more she talked.

"Sookie, it's midnight." Lorelai reminds her.

"Okay, let's go straight for the milkshakes." Sookie nods.

"Good thinking." Lorelai and her walk to the kitchen.

"I'm gonna put my stuff in the guest room," Rory yelled.

"I'll come with." Anna follows her. They put their stuff away and walk into the kitchen.

"Interesting." Sookie laughs.

"What's interesting?" They took a seat at Sookie's dining table.

"Mm, nothing, nothing. Just that your mom is one of the biggest losers in Stars Hollow." Lorelai told them.

"Okay, continue." Anna nods.

"I think you should call them again tomorrow," Sookie told her. The kids realize it must have been about her phone call to the bank.

"No, uh, Sookie. . ." She shook her head.

"No, I mean it. I mean, you're an upstanding citizen, you're an active part of the community." Sookie scoops some ice cream into the blender.

"Yeah, you made all of the donkey outfits for the Christmas festival last year." Rory nods.

"You organized the Rummage Sale." Anna points out.

"You organized the Save the Historic Oak Tree campaign." Sookie pointed at her.

"And you played Tevye in the Stars Hollow Community Theater production of Fiddler on the Roof." Rory enjoyed the play.

"Yes, well, five and a half stars from the Stars Hollow Gazette, unheard of 'til that time." Lorelai brags.

"They should take that into account." Sookie sighs.

"Yes, they should." Rory nods.

"Yeah, they say they're a bank for the community," Anna remembers their commercial.

"Yes, they should, but they won't." Lorelai took another bite of ice cream.

A noise comes from Sookie's closet making her guests jump. "Hey, uh, I bet there's a room at the inn you could stay in, part-time at least." Sookie tried to distract them.

"Sookie, what was that?" Lorelai pointed with her spoon.

"What?" She made like she didn't hear anything.

"That noise." She nods to the door.

"What noise?" She sings.

"Sookie, a huge thud just came from your closet." She continued pointing with her spoon.

"Oh, yeah, that's my shoes." She shrugs.

"Your shoes?" She asks in disbelief.

"Yeah, that's my shoe closet, and um, sometimes I don't, uh, stack them properly and then, uh, they fall and then there's a thudding sound and then, uh, no, you, uh, and that's probably the sound that you just heard." Sookie tried to convince them. Lorelai got up to go to the closet. "Ooh, the ice cream's getting, uh, melted so you better..." She pointed to the bowl.

Lorelai knocks on the closet door. "Jackson?"

"Yes?" He answers.

"How're you doing?" Lorelai smiled.

"I'm doing fine, you?" He asks.

"Sookie, Jackson's hiding in the closet," Lorelai told her like she didn't know.

"Yes, he is." She sighs.

"Why didn't you say something?" She wondered why she would hide him.

"Well, because you were upset and you were bringing Rory and Anna over and I didn't want them to feel weird or uncomfortable." She pointed at the girls.

"So, you stuck Jackson in the closet?" Lorelai laughs.

"Yes, she did," Jackson answered for her.

"Jackson, come out," Rory yelled while Anna giggled.

"I'm in my pajamas." He warns them.

"So are we," Lorelai told him.

"Yeah, but mine is humiliating," Jackson told them.

"We won't laugh." She promised.

"Yes, you will." He knew them better than that.

"I promise we won't," Rory yelled.

"Not even a chuckle." Anna agrees.

"I'm fine," Jackson yelled through the door.

"Well, are you gonna be fine in there all night 'cause that's how long we're staying, all night?" Lorelai put emphasis on all night.

"And knowing Sookie, she's gonna make a big breakfast," Rory said.

"And I'll help clean, so," Anna adds on.

"That's right, so tonight will last until late tomorrow morning, so the bottom line for you here buddy is you're gonna be holed up in that closet a very, very long time." Lorelai laid it out for him.

"If I come out, you have to understand one thing. I have a cousin who owns a Xerox company that specializes in taking pictures and making them into things: calendars, coffee mugs, collector plates, and pajamas." Jackson explained to them.

"Jackson's wearing picture pajamas?" Lorelai whispers to Sookie.

"Yes, he is." She nods.

"Does he do this often?" She asks.

"Almost every night." Sookie found it hard to have sexy time because of it.

"What are the pictures of?" Rory asks.

"Him," Sookie said.

"Oh!" Lorelai let out an enjoyable sound.

"During high school." She went on. Anna had to bite her fist to stop from laughing. "In his wrestling uniform." Sookie giggles.

"Jackson, you have to come out here right now!" Lorelai yells with excitement.

"No." He shouted.

"Why?" She whines.

"Because you sound too eager." He could hear the jokes already.

"I'm not eager, am I eager?" She turns to her daughters.

"Put your paws down," Rory said.

"Jackson, I'm not eager. I just want you to come out here and be comfortable, that's all." Lorelai insisted.

"Well, okay." Jackson opens the closet door. The Gilmore Girls had to roll their lips in to stop from laughing.

"Okay, well honey, we're making milkshakes, you wanna come in and help?" Sookie points to the blender on the counter.

"Okay." He nods, letting her lead him.

Lorelai sat down to whisper to her daughters. "If our house does fall down and we end up living in a hollowed-out tree, this moment might make it all worth it."


Rory and Anna walk through the front door of their best friend's house. "Hello? Lane?"

"What are you doing here?" Mrs. Kim's glare was harsher than normal today.

"Mrs. Kim, hi. I was just …." Rory was telling her to get cut off.

"Out." She pointed to the door.

"What?" Anna asked.

"Out, out, out!" She orders.

"But I wiped off my feet." Rory pointed at the mat.

"Move! Move!" Mrs. Kim ushers them outside with a broom as if they were stray cats.

"I was just looking for Lane and I thought that maybe she was..." Rory tried to explain while they were being pushed out.

"Taylor says you have termites." Mrs. Kim closed the door.

"I don't have termites, my house does." Rory shook her head.

"You are a carrier." She pointed at the two of them.

"I don't think you can be a termite carrier. They don't stick to people because we are not made of wood." Anna wasn't sure if she was telling the truth but it made sense to her.

"You'll spread it all over town." Mrs. Kim made it sound like they were patient zero.

"Mrs. Kim, I swear, we don't control the termites. They move around on their own." Rory reassured her.

"See all the furniture in there? Wood, all wood. You must go. Go now!" She swept the porch like she was getting rid of their germs.

They walk off the porch. "Can you just tell me if Lane is home?" Rory asks.

"No." She answered them, so they would get away from her house.

"Well, do you know where she is?" Rory asks.

"School." She took out the hose to spray where they were standing.

"Still?" Anna didn't know Lane to hang around after school.

"Yes, still. She's there, she's studying. What's that moving by your foot?" She stared at Rory's feet.

"What?" The siblings look down.

"I see something moving by your foot." She narrowed her eyes.

"Nope, there's nothing, I swear." Mrs. Kim sprays the hose near Rory's feet. "Agh! Will you tell her I came by?" The girls ran away before they got sprayed.


Lorelai was sitting on the living room couch working on the computer. Rory walks over and sits near her to finish telling her story. "And then she chased us halfway down the street with the hose. It was like a scene from Silkwood."

"Ugh, news travels way too fast around here." Loralei was looking at different exterminates on the laptop.

"Four people asked me when we were tenting, two people asked me if we were moving, and one person asked me if we were atheists." Rory's day of attack started with Mrs. Kim and ends with a stranger.

"A few people refuse my services at Lukes." Anna pouted from her spot on the couch. They were big tippers.

"See, we have to stop talking to people. We have to stay at home with the curtains drawn collecting stacks of old newspapers, muttering to each other, eating nothing but Cup of Soup and Slim Jims." Lorelai rants as Rory gets up and answers the ringing phone.

"Anyone looking good?" Anna asked.

"They're all money drainers." She held out her notebook to show the numbers were all in the same ballpark. Rory hung up the phone and came back over to them. "Paris again?" She asked.

"Yup." She nods. Paris had been calling every few hours with a new trick to try and get Rory to spill her PSAT scores.

"God. You know, I think if we put Paris and my mother in a room together, the world would implode." Lorelai always wondered what her mother would be like as a teen and Paris seem to be the answer to that.

"I'll keep that in mind for the next science fair." Rory giggled.

"I think it would either be a beautiful friendship or a verbal spar for the ages." Anna leans back into the couch.

"Enough. Now I've got computer screens feeling sorry for me." Lorelai sighs.

"Geez, how many places is that?" Rory asks.

"Aw honey, it's not the number of places that turn you down that matters, it's the quality of the place that turns you down. And when you've got Jacko's Loans and Stuff not wanting your business, you know it's time to hang out with the Coreys." She had a worse day than them.

"I'm sorry." Rory apologies.

"It's okay. I won't think about it tonight. I'll think about it tomorrow, at Tara. You ready?" She asked.

"One sec. You know Mom, I hate to bring this up, but I think there's a really obvious solution to our problem." Rory put her coat on.

"Don't bring it up," Anna whispers, putting her coat on next to her.

"I know, hon." Lorelai shut down the laptop.

"You do?" Rory asked.

"Yes. And frankly, I think if I sold you guys into white slavery, I would miss you." She brought an out of the box idea that they didn't think of.

"Mom." They scolded.

"Rory, please don't go where you're going." Lorelai shook her head.

"I think they would say yes." Rory grabs her purse.

"Of course they would say yes. And that yes would be followed by, Okay, okay, enough already. My God, please stop. I'm a shell, I've got nothing left to give." Lorelai made like she was pleading.

"Or they offer for us to just move in with them. I can imagine Grandma saying, that way I don't have to worry about you guys taking the bus." Anna imitated Emily's voice.

"That is more horrible than what I suggested." Lorelai would rather live on the street then move back in with her parents.

"You're both wrong. Grandma and Grandpa would wanna help." Rory sat down on the coffee table, so she'd be face to face with her mom.

"Rory, I went to my parents for you guys for Chilton. Why? Because that was worth all the obligation. This is not." Lorelai knew Rory thought she was being helpful but she wasn't.

"This is our home." Rory pointed out.

"A roof over our head is kind of an obligation. I don't necessarily need it to live but it's a luxury I have come custom to." Anna agreed that the situation was serious.

"Yes, and I'll find a way to fix it." Lorelai wanted to exhaust all the other options first.

"But how?" Rory asks.

"I don't know yet." She shrugs.

"Well if you don't know yet, then maybe there's not another way." Rory thought she already went through all her options.

"There's always another way." She shrugs.

"Is this the part of the show, where we start selling drugs?" Anna tries to ease the tension.

"Another way." Lorelai pointed at Anna to Rory.

"Was there another way with Chilton?" Rory wasn't amused.

"That was different." She sighs when she wouldn't drop it.

"Why was that different?" Rory asks.

"Because I said that was different and I'm the one doing the groveling and the groveling gets you judgment rights and I am judging that this is different." Lorelai got up and they followed her.

"Well, the remaining judge begs to differ." Rory thought she should have a say too, this was where she lived. If she left it up to her mom then the house would fall apart before she asked for help.

"Rory, I know you mean well, but I'm not gonna deal with my parents on this one, okay?" She grabs her keys.

"Mom." She whines.

"No." She shook her head childishly.

"You're being stubborn." Rory glares.

"Oh no, have I shocked you?" She gasps and puts a hand up to her chest. Her tone dripped of mockery.

"Can we go? I'm hungry," Anna shouts.

"Fine, let's go." Rory sighs.


Lorelai, Anna, and Rory are sitting on the couch in the living room. "Where's Grandpa tonight?" Rory asks.

"He's at work." Emily made their drinks.

"Mom, did you explain to him that part of the quitting process means you don't go back to the job you quit?" Lorelai told her.

"He did not quit, he resigned." She passed Lorelai her wine and gave the girls their sodas.

"Hmm, same rules apply." She sips her wine.

"No, when you resign you have to put in a certain amount of time to get things in order. He has clients to see, certain accounts to close out." She picked up her glass of wine.

"Is that hard for him?" Rory asks.

"Actually, I think he's rather enjoying it." Emily was surprised but glad at the turn of events.

"Well good." Anna nods.

"Yes, it is good." She sees Lorelai taking a pill. "What are you taking?"

"Roofies." Lorelai drank some wine to wash it down.

"Aspirin." Rory corrected.

"I don't know about mixing pills and alcohol." Anna watches her mother.

"Roofies go well with wine." She winks.

"Are you getting sick?" Emily asks.

"No, I just have a headache." She told her.

"Well having a headache means you're sick. You think it's normal to have a headache?" Emily interpreted the way she wanted to.

"No, I just have a tension headache." She knew the stress that was causing her to get a headache.

"Well, what do you have to be tense about?" Emily asks as if Lorelai had an easy life.

"Oh, well, I can't begin to think." She shares a look with her children.

"You should lie down." Emily's advice.

"I'm fine." She insisted.

"You work too hard." She assumed.

"No, I don't." Her headache wasn't from work.

"If you didn't work so hard you wouldn't have a tension headache." She reasoned.

"It's not a work tension headache, Mom." Her voice got stern. The girl's eyes went back and forth from their mother to their grandmother as if they were watching a tennis match.

"So, then you are sick?" She went back to her other option.

"Actually, I am, I'm sick." She said to get her mother off her back.

"I knew it, what's wrong?" She looks her up and down.

"Consumption with a touch of the vapors. I'm going for a leeching tonight after coffee." She said. Anna made a face at the blood-sucking animals.

"She's got a case of exterminator-itis." Rory blurted out making Lorelai and Anna tense up.

"What's that mean?" Emily asks.

"Nothing." Lorelai fails to think of something to change the subject.

"We have termites." Rory decides she is going to have to be the adult in this situation.

"Oh, that's terrible!" Emily gaps.

"It's not so bad." She tried to downplay it.

"They're eating our whole house," Rory told her.

"But they always say thank you." She teased.

"What does that mean, they're eating your whole house?" Emily asks.

"Rory," Lorelai warns her to stop it.

"Well, we found out that we have all these foundation problems and it's going to be very expensive to fix and Mom can't get a loan," Rory explains their whole situation. Anna felt like she was going to be sick. She knew this would solve one problem but start so many others.

"That is not true." Lorelai interrupted her.

"You've been turned down by five banks." She reminds her.

"Hey, I made up Jacko's Loans and Stuff." She defends herself.

"Fine, four banks." She rolled her eyes. Emily walks over to a desk and sits down. Lorelai follows her.

"Rory, what were you doing?" Anna whispers as Emily and Lorelai argue.

"What needs to be done." She told her. Anna sighs, putting her head into her hands. Now that the cat was out of the bag, there was no getting it back in.


Rory came barging into Lukes and walked up to Anna's table while she was doing homework with Dean trailing behind her. "Did you know that Lane was a cheerleader?" She asks.

"Aahh…." She couldn't think of the words.

"So, you both knew and neither of you told me." She looks between her boyfriend and sister.

"I didn't think it was important news to share," Dean repeated his defense for the fifth time.

"Your excuse." She turned to her sister.

"It's not my news to share." She shrugs.

"That's crap." She slammed her hand on the table.

"No, it's not. If you ask me to not share something with anyone, I wouldn't." She had the same amount of loyalty to Lane that she did to her sister.

"Well, why did she tell you and not me?" Rory sat down at the table.

"I'll get your coffee." Dean walks up to the counter.

"She feels ashamed because you two use to make fun of cheerleaders." She shrugs.

"You used to make fun of them too." She points out.

"When she brought it up, I was supportive and you weren't. And I may have caught her jumping up and down in her cheer uniform when I climb the tree to her room to return a CD." She giggled at the memory but stopped when she saw her sister's sour face. "I get that you're angry and hurt. I was too when I first found out, but you have to admit we're judgmental people. If I all of a sudden got into folk music I would never tell you or mom."

After a few moments, Rory sighs. "I guess you have a point."

"You have to admit she looks cute in the uniform." Anna was going to go to the football games just to get pictures of Lane.

"Yeah, if fewer brain cells are a cute look." Rory scoffs.

"I see you still need some time. Can you please have coffee with your boyfriend at another table?" She waved to Dean who was watching them from the counter. Rory got up to do that.


Anna was working a night shift at Lukes. It was dead since there was a pep rally at the high school. She was leaning against the counter, watching the door waiting for people to come in. "Okay, what's up? This is the third late-night you working here." Jess sat down on the stool in front of her.

"I should be asking you that. Normally, you hide up in the apartment or don't come home until closing time." She put her hands on her hips.

"Well, it's getting cold out and I ran out of books to read upstairs. Your turn?" He nods to her.

"I'm here for the work experience." She shrugs.

"What a bullshit excuse," He sneers.

"Well, so was yours." She rolled her eyes with a smile on.

"If you're going to be here at least get that fake smile off your face, it's pathetic." He scoffs.

She frowned. He caught her off guard, no one, not even her family could tell the difference between her fake and real smile. It was why they rarely felt the need to worry about her. It was something Anna took pride in. Her smile was her shield of armor. It made the enemy think nothing could affect her and allies believe in her. For Jess to strip her off that made her unease, but gave her no choices but to be truthful. "You know how we have termites." She put two mugs down and filled them up with coffee.

"Yes, it was the talk of the town for a few days." He put some sugar in his coffee before drinking.

"Well, Mom can't get a loan, so Rory asked my Grandmother. Now, it's a cold shoulder standoff at my house." She explains.

"Um, who side are you on?" He asked.

"What?" She asked.

"If you weren't on someone's side you try to mediate things, but since you're not. You must be on someone's side but you're too scared to state it and add more fuel to the fire." He analyzes.

"Alright, I'm on Rory's side." She admits.

"How scandalous, going against your mother." He gasps.

"I understand that they have a complicated past and my grandmother can be controlling. But, at some point she gotta let it go, it's not like Grandma did anything with horrible intentions. And, this is our house we're talking about. She can't get a loan anywhere else. The more she waits the more the termites are going to destroy the house." She said what she wanted to scream at her mother all week.

"Do you want to go to the pep rally?" Jess asked.

"What?" She was shocked by him for the second time tonight. The third, if you count her being shocked that he was working tonight.

"I imagine it's going to be like the Grease's pep rally. I wouldn't mind seeing that in person." He wanted to get her mind off of the termites.

"Can we leave?" She asked. They were supposed to man the front while Luke was in the kitchen.

"I think Luke can handle this?" He looked around the empty diner. "We're leaving." He yelled as he pulled her out of the diner. He didn't even wait for a response. He drags her to the high school. "Oh my Rydell high." He laughed at seeing the bonfire.

"I feel embarrassed, we're the only ones not wearing red and white." Anna looked around at everyone else wearing Stars Hollow school colors. Jess shooking his head, laughing at her concern.

"It's already shaping up to be the best season ever, due in part to the recent arrival of our brand new basketball coach Lou Magillian, formerly the presiding legal counsel for the Chicago Bulls. Lou, come on up here and take a bow. Those other teams had better watch out, we've got one of the big boys on our side now, huh? Shaq who? And in addition to our new coach, we're extremely proud of our brand new uniforms, thoughtfully supplied by you, the citizens of Stars Hollow, and carefully cleaned by the good people at Tricky's Dry Cleaners. If it's sticky, try Tricky's. Let's hear it for Tricky! I'm telling you, they are terrific." Taylor got the crowd to cheer for the ad. "Red and white, very durable, little stripes on the side, oh you know what, why don't you just see for yourselves. Come on, show 'em your uniforms." The team reluctantly took off their tracksuit to show off the uniform. "Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the new uniforms of the fabulous fighting Minutemen." People cheered, there were a few whistles from some teenage girls.

"Hey, you guys are here too." Rory walks over to them.

"Yeah, Jess insisted on coming." Anna nodded to him.

"Really?" She looked at him surprised.

"What can I say, I'm filled with team spirit." He said in his usually monotone way.

"Hey." Lorelai came over to hand Rory a coffee.

"Oh hey." She took the coffee.

"Sorry, I didn't know you guys would be here too." She nods to Jess and Anna.

"It's fine." Anna waves her hands to say it was whatever. Jess nods that his sentiment is the same.

"I got your note," Lorelai told Rory.

"Yeah, well pinning it to the Mallomars is always a safe bet." She knew her mom would go for the cookies.

"So, um, Grandma and I went to the bank today." She said, making everyone look at her.

"How'd it go?" Rory asked.

"We got the loan." She told them.

"Yes, termites will die." Anna cheered.

"Good. So then everything's okay?" Rory nods.

"Yeah, well." She shrugged, not liking having to get assistance from anyone, especially her parents. "Wow, nice uniforms." She nods to the basketball team.

"I'm sorry I told Grandma about it." Rory apologizes.

"Let them have their moment," Anna whispers as she pulls Jess away.

"At least, you won't have to hide at the diner anymore." Jess watches as Rory and Lorelai make up.

"Like you don't enjoy me being there." She scoffs.

"You're slightly less annoying than everyone else." He shrugs. From the corner of his eye, he could see her beaming up at him but he refused to give her his full attention.

"Stars Hollow High! Stars Hollow High! Let's hear it! Stars Hollow high!" The cheerleaders run out and start their routine.

"This cheers better get more clever or I won't be going to games." Anna watched as they repeated the cheer over and over. "Lane looks so cute, though." She gushes, as her friend got lifted in the air and the rock music came on.

"Good song choice." Jess nods in approval.

"Go, Lane." Anna claps and wolf whistles for her friend looks so confident up there swinging her hips.


Lorelai, Rory, Anna, and Emily are eating dinner. "So Mom, they started work on the house yesterday." Lorelai let her know. They tented the house, so now they could start fixing it.

"Oh, good." She didn't look up from her plate.

"Yeah, these guys come at like the crack of dawn, and all of a sudden there's all this hammering and drilling and dust flying everywhere." She described their new alarm clock.

"It's pretty impressive actually." Rory was impressed with how fast they were working.

"They're a nice bunch too. And the best part is I've been out there like ten times to bring them coffee and I haven't seen a butt crack yet." Lorelai nods.

"There are a few I wouldn't mind seeing," Anna whispers to her sister. Rory nudged her to stop since their mom was trying to make up with their grandma.

"How nice. They should paint that slogan on their truck. Excuse me." She got up with the breadbasket in hand.

"Where are you going?" She asks.

"To get some more bread." She goes into the kitchen.

"I think I'll go help." Lorelai got up.

"I think that would be good." Rory nods.

"I love when everyone gets along." Anna smiled. Lorelei and Rory made up. Lane and Rory made up. And now Lorelai and Emily were making up.