THEN
The winter solstice in Forks was an intimate festival compared to others. And still the four eighteen year olds attacked it with excitement. Cole took pictures of set up and early arrivals with Caroline trailing behind. Ethan put in his due time at the Holm booth while Anna Jane did the same at The Grands. Cole signaled to Anna, shaking his head when she rolled her eyes.
"She'll be another few minutes."
Following his eye Caroline nodded. "Good. So tell me something."
Cole stomped off.
"Don't you dare, I wanna know why. Oh honey, no, I'm saving myself for Orlando Bloom." She added when Cole knelt at her feet.
"Would you move so I can get the shot?" Cole hid his half smile with the camera. "What do you want to know?"
"You're all moody about Sylas Bruan."
"I'm moody because I'm a photographer. Goes with the job."
"Horse shit. Now I wanna know why you never got moody over me. Is it because I'm a girl? I could hurt Ethan just as hard as Sylas can hurt Anna Jane."
"You're trying to take my mind off my moody and that's not good for my image so why don't you run along and win yourself a balloon animal or something."
"That's real cute." She winked at Ethan, judged he'd be making his way over. "Cole." She bumped his hip as he stood. "We can all be worried about Anna and still enjoy the view. And I'm telling you this is going to be a really nice view you don't want to miss."
"I didn't worry about you hurting Ethan because I loved you. Straight off. And with the great matter and all, I got to worry about both of you anyway." He tapped her chin with his knuckles. "You were my sister, its different."
"Did you hear this sentimental dribble babe?" Caroline looked up to Ethan. "He essentially loves me more than you."
"You walked right into that you know. Was she still ragging you about Sy?"
"She's your woman, you deal with it."
"Get Shine a hot chocolate before she unravels wouldya?" Ethan called after him as he stomped off. He shook his head at Caroline's sheepish grin and hooked his arm around her shoulders. "Having fun babe?"
"I'm not actually torturing him, just trying to get him to not take it so seriously." Caroline too wrapped her arm around Ethan's waist as they walked. "Do you think he's feeling being the only single one?"
"You're jumping ahead, it's just their second date." At her quirked brow Ethan smirked. "No, its not that or I'd be worried myself cuz that's not Cole. The way he's acting is though. He's a reserved guy, he's serious. He wasn't like that with you, none of us expected that."
"Maybe a small part of me was also worried he saw something I didn't. The three of you are another level."
"Do you see me worrying?"
Caroline tipped up to see those blue eyes that always held her. "I see you nervous, but not full worry no."
"What are we talking about?" Anna dashed up and looped her gloved hand through the arm Ethan offered. "Literally anything but the obvious arguing between my crew."
Ethan clucked his tongue. "If Mary would just let the man do sonnet readings."
"Don't make me kill you here, then I'd have to fight Cole for Caroline's then empty hand."
"And you'd win given I want nothing to do with her. Monster this one is." Cole walked up, smirking when Caroline offered her free arm as well. "What trouble are you stirring now?"
"This ones on me." Ethan looked to Cole and then glared. "I told you to get a hot chocolate for the other one."
"Stand down you tyrant, that one insisted." Cole pointed to Sylas who was balancing five styrofoam cups.
"As I explained when I bumped into him, its not bribery." He passed the hot chocolate amongst them. "Enid had yelled at me to do so when I passed her pie booth."
"She's trying to make nice for not coming to my aid." But Anna Jane's smile bloomed when Sylas's eyes met hers.
"Hmm." Ethan said to Cole.
"Right." He replied.
"I saw him first. Comportez-vous." Anna nudged Ethan.
"They do that some times, pay it no mind." Caroline gestured to the thrall of booths. "Shall we?"
Sylas joined at the other end of Anna so the five of them were linked as they made their way through the festival. They broke off at times to take part in games or when Cole found a shot that suited. Their voices melded together as they spoke of the holidays, and Sylas asked questions about New York. Despite the hesitation where Anna was concerned, Cole was easy around Sylas, and the others suspected they'd spoken more at school than they let on. Caroline was surprised to find out she had even lived in the same town as Sylas when they were ten and frequented the same library. Ethan and Anna merely squeezed one another's arm.
After a lot of smack talk over the games where Caroline insisted on winning Ethan a four foot stuffed elk, they finally entered the food tent. Over enthusiastic bites of shepards pie the fights continued.
"I didn't say you couldn't do it Ro, I said where are we going to put a child sized elk at home?"
"We'll keep it at Holm house until your room becomes a home gym."
"Ethan and Caroline show their love by bickering at each other over absolutely nothing." Anna told Sylas.
"I saw them in a class project once."
"Let me guess." Anna watched as Ethan whistled and looked around. "Ethan was screwing around with his lackies, Caroline threw something at him."
"I believe she yelled for him to get his head out of his ass."
"Nearly got me detention." Caroline nodded and elbowed Ethan.
"I'm surprised the ditching to make up in the parking lot didn't do it." He put in.
"Always good to not be sharing any walls with them. Oh wait."
Caroline threw a biscuit at Cole, resulting in more pointing and laughing. Anna absorbed it all, enjoying the thrill of letting herself lean to Sylas's side.
Eventually the music changed, and Cole got up to start taking pictures again as couples made way to the floor. Ethan shifted on the bench and pulled Caroline back against his chest, as they so often sat. Anna Jane hummed along to the old tune; completely at peace with Sylas by her side.
"May I?"
Anna snapped out of her serene daze and turned her attention to Sylas, who was holding out a hand. Though her pulse scrambled she kept her smile in place.
"Oh don't feel like you have to…"
"No, I want to dance with you."
Sylas's smile joined hers when Anna slipped her hand into his.
Across the floor Cole captured the shot and winked at Caroline when she put a hand to her heart.
The young couple took their place amongst the others. Anna took in the dance the others were engaging. Her hand raised to Sylas's as they stepped and circled to the pace and to the others.
"I don't recall you ever paying this much attention at the dance lessons at school." Anna said surprised as Sylas not only kept up, but knew the steps as easily as she.
"I paid too much attention. Every lesson, I pictured this."
Anna laid her head on Sylas's chest a moment. Feeling the beat of both the music and his heart. She laughed when he dipped her and then spun to a little lift. The rest of the festival blurred as Anna could only see Sylas's eyes so intent on hers.
Back at the table Caroline was beaming and grasped Ethan's arm crossed over her. "That sure is pretty isn't it babe."
Ethan sighed with his cheek against the top of her head. "They are."
"Although I guess I have to learn how to do the more classic dancing now cuz you're out a partner for all these fancy steps."
"I like how you dance just fine."
Caroline's smile turned saucy. "Hmm. So you do. But I ought to keep up with the rest of you." She tipped her face to look at him. "I have been practicing a little."
Ethan's face warmed at the sweetness. "Have you?"
"I mean Cole says I'm not full shit anymore, so nothing crazy." She lifted her mouth higher for his kiss. "I'll show you later."
When the dance ended the group took a final lap around the booths. Cole mentioned he was going to stay behind and help with some of the take down to earn extra money and get a ride back with Cece.
"Alright then, see you back home." Ethan clapped Cole on the back and then started towards the parking lot.
Anna Jane considered and stopped before Ethan's car. "Actually, I'm going to go on with Sylas." She looked up to Sylas and grinned at what she saw in his eyes.
"Course. Sorry." He clapped Sylas on the back. "Do yourself a solid and drop her off at the Grand. You're gonna want to bypass Cecelia Kelly more than Phillip."
"Won't be an issue, he'll be dropping me off tomorrow morning."
"Right." Caroline hooked her arm through Ethan's to begin tugging. "You two have a good night then."
Ethan muttered as they walked towards his car "The arm is attached Ro, Christ. I'm not going to cause a duel."
"Then I don't see the problem."
He looked back to where Anna and Sylas had walked off, and Anna threw a glance over her shoulder to him. The smile she gave eased his mind.
"There isn't one." He turned back to the car and opened Caroline's door. "Lets go see these practiced moves of yours."
At the hardware store not far from the festival Sylas had pulled into his apartments entrance side. He turned off the truck but didn't get out. Anna nearly reached for the handle herself but he grasped her jacket and tugged her back. She chuckled and let her head rest against the seat.
"I didn't mean to force your hand back there, you can certainly turn around and drop me off at The Grand." She smirked. "I'm not after taking advantage and I assume you aren't either and that's why you brought the truck rather than walk over. Figured I'd make the move."
Sylas glanced down at her. "You know you aren't forcing my hand. I just didn't expect it."
"Good, I'd rather this be more on the authentic side than a planned out thing."
"Anna shouldn't your first time be a planned out thing?"
She disguised the roll of her shoulders in a shrug. "Who says? Its not my first time in all things Bruan. So if you want a plan I suppose you could say for my finale of firsts if none of my other…apartment tour ventures….led to it." She elbowed him. "I wouldn't say I was waiting for something planned out, just to know." Anna felt the warmth as Sylas's hand found hers. "And I do."
He lifted her hand, kissing her knuckles as she smiled. "I know too."
"Then lets see this apartment of yours and we'll go from there."
It was both as she expected and a surprise. The expected was the sparse decorating of the small and simple space. The pleasant surprise came from how clean it was for an eighteen year olds apartment.
"You said you weren't expecting this, so are you telling me that you're ordinarily this tiddy?"
"Tiddy sounds fussy."
"Neat then." Anna Jane smirked. "I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised coming from the kid who tried to hike in white high tops."
"Ethan and Cole don't do there share?"
"They were trained enough by Cece. Caroline has that military upbringing." She threw a grin over her shoulder as she wandered. "I'm the wild card."
Sylas bent to a mini fridge in the efficiency kitchen. "You're not living out of a suitcase anymore. You always wanted that base."
She took the water bottle he tossed her. "Papa and I have had the apartment at The Grand for six years now so the suitcase days have been gone for the most part. But you're right, I didn't cut those decorating dreams loose until New York. Still have to play it PG since we're renting and all, but I'm having the most fun. In a few years maybe after school I can find a place upstate and." She blushed a little at the pride in Sylas's smile.
"I'd like to see it." He sat on the arm of his sofa. "Listen Anj. Wherever this ends up going with us, I don't want you to change any of your plans." He reached for her so she walked over, entwining her arms around his neck. With him sitting they were just eye to eye.
"You're finally doing it." Sylas whispered. "Getting your chance at life with your own choices. I'm not going to….what?" At her expression his own furrowed.
"No, nothing. You're right I'm making my own choices."
Though he expected there was more behind it, Sylas knew he had to earn back the right for her to share everything with him as she once had. For now he accepted with a smile as he wound and rewound her curls through his hand. "I just want you to do whatever makes you happy."
"That's handy." Anna Jane boosted into his lap and laughed when his arms quickly jumped to her waist. "Good catch." She barely managed a gasp as his mouth met hers.
With her still in his arms Sylas stood and began walking towards the back of the apartment. His lips roamed to Anna's jaw and then neck as she tugged at his shirt. Dropping her to her feet, his hands got busy with her sweater as well.
"Anj." His own breath was ragged as she made work of his belt. Cupping her chin to face him he repeated. "Anj. I haven't….the girls I've…I've never been someones first."
He had always been so serious. It was funny how little the years changed. Touching a fingertip to the worry line between his brows Anna reached up on her tip toes to kiss from below his ear and down his jaw. "Then I know you'll take care of me won't you? And I get a first of yours afterall."
With a laugh Sylas lifted Anna again and swung her to the bed, where he realized Anna was right it was a first for both of them. Anna's first time yes, but a first for Sylas as well.
The first time he had the certainty he was exactly where he was supposed to be. With every curve of the body against his perfectly fit. Where arousal wasn't a reaction, it was a result. And the moment they finished didn't feel like an ending. It felt like he could for the first time see where he wanted the rest of his days to go.
With Anna's head against his chest, feeling her heart fly Sylas understood, even at eighteen, why it never worked with anyone else or never could. Because his beginning and his ending would be loving this girl.
"You're thinking again."
"The brain cells started firing again." He pressed his lips to her hair. "Can I get you anything?"
"Hmm. Do you have a shower in here or a bath tub?"
"It passes for a bath tub. Are you alright?"
"Completely, but I'm sure a bath will keep me feeling loose." Anna shifted to look at Sylas. "Join me?"
"Please." With another kiss he gently rolled them over. "I'll get it going."
Anna grinned as she watched him go, raising a hand towards the ceiling in thanks for the view, even as he grabbed boxers on the go. Alone she drew on a tshirt Sylas had draped over his desk chair. Breathing deep into the cotton she smiled, shaking her head at the marvel of it all. As she heard the tub fill, Anna began removing the sheets, and took stock on how the movements felt. She expected more soreness than she had, but thought the bath a good idea regardless.
Catching sight of the closet she wondered if Sylas's tidiness ran to keeping a second set of bedding. Looking, Anna did a shoulder shimmy when she found some and then froze when on a built in shelf she spotted a clear tote. The paper peeking out behind the plastic held her handwriting.
Dropping the fresh sheets, Anna reached for the tote and removing the cover, saw her letters. The first starting ten years ago after the summer they met, and the last was the month before Sylas moved back.
"For New Years." Anna murmured. Flipping through she saw not only were all of them opened, but the envelopes and letters looked wrinkled enough to suggest they'd been read, and read often.
"You better not be looking to steal sweatpants too, you should always look exactly like that. In fact if you'd like to ditch the shir…" Sylas trailed off when he saw what Anna was holding.
"I thought I'd change the sheets and, ha." She hefted the tote. "I never dreamed you kept them. I always hoped you got them, maybe read a few. They never came back so that thought was alive until you moved back. Then I assumed you never did get them or your parents…well."
Sylas nodded and gestured to the tote. "I moved them to that when we moved here. Usually they were scattered around. I liked keeping some in my room, some in the backpack I brought to school. It didn't matter how much time passed, I was surprised each time they came. And still when I walked in that classroom…." He shook his head. "I couldn't measure up. Every letter I could tell you were blooming. I always knew you would. But I never thought I'd see you again and you'd know that I didn't do the same. At least not then."
Anna tossed the tote to the floor and crossed to Sylas. "I should have swallowed my pride, I should have spoken to you that day and you would have known of course you measured up." She placed her hand on his cheek before he could look away. "You did then, you did when we were kids, you do now. But if you needed more time, I don't hold that against you so don't hold it against yourself. Not when you kept my letters that way."
"You were my best friend." He put his hers and turned his lips into her palm.
"So it seems, nerd." Anna winked and picked up the tote to put back on its shelf.
"Why did you always hope I got the letters if I never wrote back?"
"Because you were my best friend. Before I met the boys you were my only friend. I never doubted you'd make more but I wanted to make sure you knew you mattered. That someone who knew you was there to listen."
"I love you." Sylas breathed.
Anna's gasp flew out with her smile. "Sylas…"
"I know. I know, crazy soon. Still, I do. And I can't promise I know what the hell we're going to do next but I can promise I'm never going to hold back my feelings from you again. I'm not going to lose time.
Sylas crossed the room to her, brushing tear from Anna's cheek. "I've always loved you and now I know I'm in love with you."
Anna's hand had come up to her mouth and now she let out something between a laugh and a cry against it. Nodding, she leaned against Sylas's chest, feeling the steadiness of his arms wrapping around her.
"Its the first time someone's fallen in love with me and I'm not wearing any pants."
Hearing how the emotion thickened the Louisiana in her voice Sylas grinned. "I know you don't think firsts need a plan, but if I had planned this you would always be pantsless."
She tipped back to those dark brown eyes that warmed whenever theirs met. Pushing back the hair that fell towards them Anna tipped her chin up. "I'll love you all my life."
Seeing Sylas's eyes cloud, her tears returned. "Tell anyone I cried and I'll knock you silly. And if anyone tells us its too soon, I'll knock them silly. Maybe it is for some, but hearing it, feeling the truth of it, is magic."
Sylas dropped his forehead to Anna's. For the first time, he found home.
