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Dearest Readers, may the valleys you traverse be of one of light and discovery.

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THE HIDDEN SWORD ﴿

Book Three: Meeting of Fires
Chapter 73: Not So Little Amazons (Part Three)


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"Tell us about your First Kiss."

Close to panic, Xan clutched at his chest, pursing his lips. Oh, if only he could run away, far from the suddenly burning heat of the campfire and everyone's expectant gaze. Far and far away from everything else and deep into the darkness of this desert night.

But Truth is a harsh and demanding master.

"Very well. I shall tell you of it," he said with a deep and despondent sigh, his heart sinking further as everyone leaned closer, eager to hear of his first and only foray into intimate physical contact.

"My first kiss occurred five score and ten years ago, more accurately five less a score shy of my primary century."

Evidently pausing to mentally calculate, some looked to the side while quietly murmuring their count, while others took note on their fingers.

Xan flinched, abashed. "I mean, it happened when I was eighty and five summers. I have been existing for a hundred and ninety-five years now."

Brows jumped up all around the group in genuine surprise.

"Truly? I know elves live for quite long, but you are of such a gentle manner that I took you for someone much younger."

"Yes, say thirty years of age."

"But with the face of someone in their twenty-fifth summer!"

Telka laughed and slapped Irse on the back. "And looking so much more youthful than this three-hundred-year-old biddy with you!"

Everyone else saw the look of absolute murder on the sun elf's face. Nervously they shushed at the old woman's oblivious cackling, but in vain.

"All right, so we know how young you are now," Irse muttered, sulking. "Can we please get back to the question?"

Xan cleared his throat. No escaping the inevitable.

"As with whom- my first kiss was with a pair of women. Twins."

At the confession, everyone whistled and hooted except for Irse who stared at him silently, brow-raised and wide-eyed.

"And the circumstances-," Xan mumbled, shoulders scrunched. "-were quite something else."

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It had been during his earliest days in the Academy of Magic when as an overmuch reserved apprentice, Xan found himself enamored with one of his fellow novices – a moon elf of unearthly loveliness and elegance. Not to mention that she belonged to one of the greater noble houses in Evereska.

Unfortunately, he had been painfully unable to express his growing adoration of her. Days passed in excruciating anguish as he would walk with the most hesitant steps to pass by this most beautiful specimen of their species. Beholding her unattainable loveliness with despairing eyes. Listening with longing ears to hear her voice, clearer and more lilting than crystal bells, if perhaps one day his name might deign to issue from those exquisite lips.

It was only at the urging of the other students that Xan finally plucked up the courage, and atypical foolhardiness, to profess his blossoming fondness for the girl.

Not even had the last word left his quavering lips, Xan quickly shut his eyes, expecting his confession doomed to the cruelest rejection.

"Why, dearest Xannonderim," floated that melodious voice from her enchanting lips, so pleasing it could soothe the soul in the midst of even the most terrible disaster that might befell him. Including failing his alchemy test scheduled two tendays from thence.

"Truth be told," as effusively murmured by this most beautiful moon elf, "I too am harboring a – shall we say- a flourishing fondness for you. Yet neither did I find the courage to approach you, for how does one so humble in skill such as myself might speak to one so brilliant and rapt in studying the Art like you?"

Eyes still shut, somehow Xan managed to blink in incredulity. This divine specimen of their species saw something praiseworthy in him? Could it be that his lamentable luck in everything had finally transmuted?

He felt her lean against him, one hand light upon his shoulder, the other brushing against his ear. A miracle that his knees did not give way at all.

"I wish to know more of you, Xannonderim. Come to the rose garden in my family's estate afore the setting of the sun," she whispered. "Take the south path by the willows. Let no one see you that none may disturb our – conversation."

And with that, she had drifted away to attend to her own studies elsewhere. Only then did Xan dare to open his eyes and breathe.

Miraculously, he was still able to concentrate on his studies until the hour came of his fortuitous visit. Barely able to keep his steps from flying, and his already abstracted mind from forgetting the instructions to undertake a secret trail, Xan finally arrived at the garden.

A secluded rockery so carefully tended to bloom a myriad of roses, hued from deep carmine to blushing fuchsia and frosted ivory. Their aromatic brume filled the air, stirred by a gentle vale breeze that rippled the mirror-surface of a pond, small but almost a minute lake in its calm and clarity.

Upon the grass, on a woven coverlet strewn with petals sat his object of youthful budding affection. Not alone – but with her twin sister beside her.

And both were arrayed in gowns of the same tint as the roses surrounding them, garments whose diaphanous qualities were certainly not intended for any practical purpose.

Pinching himself confirmed that he hadn't passed on and was already in Arvandor. Not yet, and that one hurt, but no matter.

Without further ceremony, both suddenly drew him into their pale and elegantly lean and graceful arms, their hands swarming all over him and caressing his ears and hair. With tender voices they whispered of their own admiration of his intelligence and diligence in studies, and with fond ministrations they articulated their own perfervid interest in his physical person.

It had only been the sheer strength of his will and utter disbelief at this incredible fortune that kept Xan from outright fainting.

Eventually, it all led into kissing - starting with a chaste peck on the lips of each girl, eventually progressing to a full-mouth and three-way simultaneous osculation that seemed to flow on forever into a dream drowning in a heady ocean of exhilarating and ecstatic delirium.

His arms enfolding both sisters, for once, Xan felt higher and greater than the tallest blueleaf in Evereska.

Yet just when it seemed this rarely glorious interlude in his miserable existence would lead to further corporeal delights, the twins abruptly paused, glancing around and at each other, seemingly hearing an unknown call.

"Halt, Sister, could it be Father's silk-shod steps across the marble floors that I am hearing?"

"Indeed, Sister. And the brush of Mother's silver-threaded cape beside him."

With haste they sorted themselves and shoved him towards the pathway out of the garden.

"Speak to no one of this tryst, I implore you," said the moon elf girl.

"I understand. But surely it is only proper for me to present myself formally to your parents and assure them that I have nothing but the most-"

"Yes, yes, honorable intentions, I know. Oh, please hurry, they are almost at the garden archway!"

Dazed and disappointed, nonetheless, Xan had humbly deferred. He left the villa and shuffled back to his own home, heart bursting with unexpected joy that enabled him to ignore the usual jibes from his siblings. That night, his reverie of the rendezvous in the twins' rose garden was one of the rare ones that he wished to never end.

For an entire month, Xan would go on to his daily lessons, hoping to secure another cherished moment alone with her. However, the moon elf either ignored or brushed him aside. And whenever others were within earshot, she would loudly apologize for having no time for another session of shared study with him.

These he took in stride. Perhaps she wasn't prepared to let others, especially those of her circle, to know of a beginning liaison with a member of a minor noble house.

An understandable sentiment. Disappointing, but understandable.

He would be patient, and he would wait until she was ready to announce this courtship to the rest of the realms.

And then that day finally arrived.

Xan stepped into the study hall and was met with cold silence by his fellow students. A silence that lasted only a merciful breath before erupting into jeering laughter.

Apparently, the sisters told everyone of the tryst. How they only humored the hapless elf for finding him so wretchedly pitiable for even aspiring to win the attention of a lady of illustrious standing.

And how his kissing technique was likened to scouring one's lips against a length of salted driftwood.

It had only been the sheer strength of his will and his resolute acceptance of such an unkind providence that kept Xan from outright running away.

After all, there was still a whole day of study to complete.

His introduction to Enchantment Magic.

Not to change the mind of another to obtain their respect and favor.

Rather, perhaps if he could learn to charm himself to forget.

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Every face fell with genuine sympathy at the conclusion of his unhappy tale.

"Sorry about that, kiddo, but you'll be all right," Telka said and patted him on the head, even gently ruffling his hair.

It was all Xan could do to keep from closing his eyes and beaming. So much did it feel like the way his own cor'avara would do for him when as a child he would cry over small things, like a torn page in his book or a flower wilted too soon.

The others kindly offered their commiserations and likewise took turns patting him on the shoulder.

"A painful one, my friend, but you are much better off without such false people in your life."

"I've turned down others who are not my Mandla, but I have been true with my words to them. It was terrible of those girls to have done so to you."

"Yeah, what a pair of meanies! Forget about them! You'll find someone much nicer."

Xan accepted their consolations, smiling weakly and assuring them that no lasting hurt had been done. Of course, he need not tell further of how the succeeding days were spent purposely avoiding reverie if perhaps he might never relive the remorseful occurrence. Eventually, the need outweighed the fear and regret, and his resumed reverie, as expected, was a repetition of this humbling disaster.

And yet with the passing years, the sting lessened, only because he had resigned himself to the habituation of a hopeless existence already foreordained for one so doomed as himself.

Irse was still staring at him, but now with brows furrowed and jaws trembling with indignation.

"Give me their names," she growled, knuckles twitching. "And one day, when all this is over, I'm marching straight to Evereska to kick down their door. Then I'll wring them by the scruff of their necks and then knock their stupid heads against each other in front of everyone until they've learned their lesson."

Xan clutched at his chest and swallowed nervously. Why would someone like her want to defend someone like him?

"Truly now, there is no need for violence, I mean- retribution," he stammered. "It was all completely my fault. I was a fool to even hope I might be worthy of anyone's esteem."

"No-," Irse snapped, slapping a hand on her knee. "What's wrong is that she lied and toyed with you. If there's anything I know for sure - when someone's told you of their feelings for you, but you're not on the same plate with them? Then you ought to be honest too so they can move on and find the one who'd be with them for the rest of their life."

Xan canted his head, wondering. What would have driven her to be indignant over this, even speak as if having experienced such circumstance herself? Had someone professed their feelings but had been turned down by her?

Skeptical of such an impossibility, he furrowed his brows, looking at Irse.

Disheveled. Disorganized. Impetuous.

Only someone with unwavering commitment and patience could stand her blustery abrasiveness. Only someone having accompanied her through all weathers and seasons would be able to dare to brave the whirlwind that is this sun elf.

Lamalha broke the brief silence. "Easy to do so if you're on the receiving end," she said, leaning forward, her posture that of a teacher challenging an answer. "But what if you're the one baring your whole heart to them, and they turn you down instead?"

Maneira bobbed her head. "So wouldn't you rather they pretend they like you, so you won't get hurt?"

"Or that they soften the blow with some other excuse, such as duty or some vow forbidding them from being with anyone?" Zeela added, her own expression reflecting a fear of rejection from her cousins' brother. Unexpectedly, the sisters nodded with sympathy.

Surprised by their questions, Irse leaned back, blinking then staring at the fire. A pinched look found itself on her face as if wresting with a difficult truth.

Then she steeled her jaw, pained but resolute. "Even so, I'd still accept his decision and want only his greatest happiness. Even if it means we'll never be on the same plate."

Xan raised his brows, wondering in genuine puzzlement at this evidently unspoken regret. Perhaps and presently, she has found herself caring deeply for another, but someone tragically unaware or unreciprocating of her devotion? For what else might explain her ready resignation to unrequited longing hence the selfless wish for this man's happiness without her?

A hush fell upon everyone, the women thoughtfully murmuring in demonstrative agreement.

"Elf Girl said it right," Telka pronounced, her voice suddenly solemn and her eyes glazed perhaps with memories of years and paths taken before. "The truth and rejection may be a bitter medicine for now, but the kindness you show after that is the balm that fades the sting of it. Sure may hurt until the day you croak, but it's all for an end that's best for everyone."

Everyone else bobbed their heads in concordance. Notwithstanding their earlier impertinence towards their elder, a tacit respect that had always been there now filled the women's eyes as they looked to Telka.

Hand above his chest, Xan beamed wanly. For indeed, what manner of life before the crossing of their paths had taught this sun elf to have such profound empathy and sense of justice for another? And what strange providence gained him this fortuitous kindness from, of all people, strangers and the N'Tel'Quess?

"I agree," he said quietly but firmly. "What all of you have said are true, and I shall keep them to my heart as one among the many words from the wise who guide my steps until my own passing and beyond."

Irse shot him a grin and a nod, gruff but agreeing. Xan reciprocated with a diffident smile. He raised his mug in a toast and everyone followed suit, the air cheery and light once more. Xan took a sip of the remaining wine in his mug, and smiled, surprised.

Still the same wine, strongly sweet and briskly tangy. Yet is not this clashing unevenness the very essence of its own profile – all the flavors and elements brought to the fore to be savored in the briefest moment of a drink?

Much like the life of these humans, swift in their passage through the world, yet no less intense and rich and spirited.

Xan gazed up at the stars, now glittering warm and clear like a million lanterns above the fathomless darkness of the desert night sky.

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Kissy-kissy Scribblings:

Ah hah I bet you looked up "osculation". ;D

Irse: "Which is just another fancy word for – eating each other's faces like you were trying to beat me in the annual Highharvestide Pie Eating Contest!"

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