Chapter CXXV: Bond
Atem stopped at the edge of the trees for a single second, hesitating. Yugi paused ahead of him and turned back to face him. After a moment of puzzlement he leaned forward to bump beaks with him, closing his eyes briefly. When he pulled back, he was smiling as he said, "I can go ahead alone with Jonouchi and Yami."
Atem almost spat with outrage, shaking his head. "No," he answered firmly. He suppressed a shiver and looked around slowly. "I just needed a moment."
Yugi tilted his head, smiling faintly. "It's okay, Atem. I promise."
Yami had turned around to study them as well. Timaeus hesitated feet away from them, eyes wide as he considered them. Only Jonouchi didn't stop, stumbling forward in the snow with a growl of annoyance.
"I don't expect you to want to come any further. It's okay. I expected you to—"
"I'm fine. Keep going." Atem shook himself out, considering the snow around them for a single moment. Yugi hadn't seemed nearly so exhausted as he had the first time they'd traversed the snow. He wondered if it was because of Yami, as Jonouchi seemed sluggish but not as if he meant to curl up at any moment as he had before. Atem still couldn't comprehend the fact that he'd slept through the fight Yugi had waged against Dimitri. How was it even possible? How could he have failed to care for even that?
"Are you sure?" Yugi finally asked, tilting his head. He searched his face and leaned forward again, licking his forehead, before moving to take the spot next to him. They were walking in sync a few moments later. "I really don't mind it, Atem. I don't blame you not being able to continue into the village."
Atem scoffed softly. "It's fine. I'm okay. It doesn't matter."
Yugi eyed him for a moment, then rubbed against him again. Atem was startled by how warm he was, as if he were a sun-soaked stone. The heat made his spine prickle with unease, but he realized immediately upon almost faltering that it had to be Yami. The Divine had granted Yugi a better chance to weather the cold and survive in the plummeting temperatures.
Yami glanced over his shoulder, expressionless but for a glint of sorrow in his eye. Atem would have missed it had he blinked, though it was gone again when Yami smiled tightly. The hatchling turned away again almost immediately, and Atem noticed Timaeus had put a yard of space between them.
"You'll have to change to your human form soon," Yami murmured, quiet and tired in tone. Atem almost wondered if it was because he did not want to deal with their coldness or if it was tiring to maintain their body heat like he was. Yami didn't look over nor acknowledge the thought, adding, "Jonouchi and I will do so first. Then Yugi."
Timaeus glanced at Atem in bewilderment. Atem narrowed his eyes and shook his head. It must have been tiring for Yami to expend his own energy to maintain their temperatures, or else their change of shape would not need time between…
"Can't I just…not?" Jonouchi grumbled, sounding tired as he paused to stretch. The movement was lazy and slow and Atem was almost amazed he did not simply lay down. "They take care of wounded dragons all the time, right?"
Yami snarled softly. "Yes, but they know Yugi in his human form, and I want them to recognize that he's there without panicking as to why a Fire Dragon and a hybrid are there in the midst of winter." He shot him an annoyed look. "You can change back as quickly as you want, Jonouchi. No one cares beyond that."
The Red-Eyes scoffed and stretched again, then stumbled forward and yawned. Yami shook his head, clearly flustered, but did not look back again.
Atem glanced at Yugi sideways, then whispered, "Are you truly okay to do this? I know you're friendly with the humans, but…"
Yugi smiled faintly. "I'll be fine, Atem. I won't let it end up any other way. I'll be back when the gathering comes around and we'll catch up then." He paused after a moment, a troubled glint sweeping through his eyes. "Are you okay to do this? I…I know you're worried about me, but you never truly consider yourself. And I never…thought to ask. I'm sorry. I should have, but I'll do it now. Are you okay with this arrangement?"
Atem blinked. "I'm fine with it," he answered quickly, swallowing away the immediate thought of begging him to stay with him instead. He suppressed a shiver, searching his face. The longer he watched him, the warmer he felt, however. "I'm okay."
Yugi nodded after a moment and rubbed against him again. His eyes flickered to Yami and back. "I'll be here if you need me. Just…come find me if you have to. It doesn't matter what time or how soon or anything like that."
Atem smiled despite himself. "You worry needlessly," he teased. "Yami won't turn on me. It'll be okay."
Yugi gave him a skeptical look, glancing at Yami with a slightly annoyed expression. Atem wondered again what it was Yugi saw in him that made him so standoffish. Did he truly think Yami might turn on him? Or was he still just confused as to why Yami insisted he was their son?
He almost wished for a moment Yami would answer him, but the thought died instantly. They'd gotten to the very outskirts of the village, where the forest dropped to sheer walls with limited trees to supply shelter. Atem paused and looked around for a moment. He considered the embankments, then the little structures the humans called their homes. It was odd to see them moving about as if the snow mattered little to them.
But surely they had to be exhausted? Surely they had to be cold?
He narrowed his eyes. They were wearing pelts along their bodies, draped over them so completely he almost thought they might be upright animals were it not for the awkwardness of their movements.
He glanced at Yugi. Yami wouldn't be able to maintain his body heat from the den in the mountain. He knew that much. So how was he expected to remain there? With animal pelts like they wore? Or would they build a fire to keep him warm and happy?
Atem faltered as Yami jumped down a ledge. Jonouchi followed with an annoyed grunt and Timaeus took a seat as he considered them trudging along. Yugi sprang down after a moment and Atem hurried to follow, stomach churning. He seemed so ready to leave him…
Yugi flicked his wings and shook himself out. He glanced over, smiling, and licked his cheek. "Thanks for coming along," he whispered, voice warm with affection. He searched his face, licked his forehead, and turned away. "I'm glad you decided to, even if the humans make you anxious."
"You're my mate," he muttered, surprised by how warm his own voice was. He wanted to add to it, but the words seemed almost enough somehow. Yugi quivered with affection, rubbed against him again, and smiled with his chin raised in satisfaction.
They continued along in silence for a while longer.
Yami turned back after a moment. "Jonouchi and I will change forms first, and then you shall follow, Yugi."
The Gandora nodded, and Atem was surprised by the glimmer of despair in his eyes. It took only a moment for him to realize Yugi was pained by the idea of separating from him. The guilt that lanced through him was enough to nearly wind him. Atem glanced around and looked toward the village again. The humans were still moving around, the majority of their pelts brown from slain deer or sleek silver from downed wolves.
He shivered. So much for divinity among the mountain animals…
They must survive the winter too, came Yami's voice in his head, soft and quiet. Atem looked over and bristled faintly. The hatchling's human form reminded him of Yugi's, though his hair was wilder and longer, with a streak of brilliant gold throughout the crown of black. Each puff of hair was tipped red and his eyes were a deep violet-speckled ruby color. He'd taken the form of a younger human, with wide diamond-shaped eyes and lashes like soot lining them. He'd perfectly mirrored the wolf pelt, though for some reason his was brilliant black like the plume of his hair.
Atem tilted his head and glanced beside himself. Yugi was the same height, though with rounder eyes the same blue-violet they'd always been. His hair was just as wild, but without the streaks throughout and the golden of the hair immediately above his forehead was not quite as long. The tips of his hair were blue-violet to match his eyes and he looked almost somehow slimmer than their son. Or perhaps he was just smaller in stature because be wasn't projecting the usual strength in his stance. He looked exhausted and haunted, as if someone had attempted to drown him in the worst of his memories. His magic had brought about a silver, almost pure white wolf pelt as if in opposition of Yami's.
Atem watched them eye each other. And then Yami turned away.
"Let's go. We don't need to draw more attention than will come when Yugi is recognized."
There was a moment of silence before Yugi muttered, "Is Sugoroku still alive?"
"Yes. He's elderly and likely to pass the village along soon, but he's still alive."
Yugi hummed and turned to Atem. He reached out to touch his beak, tracing the line of his mouths, and smiled. His eyes looked oddly wet and Atem tilted his head in bewilderment for a brief second. "Stay safe."
Atem nodded and nudged him gently, though he was so small he was amazed it didn't knock Yugi over entirely. The human hummed, rubbed his beak again, and leaned forward. Atem was faintly bewildered when Yugi pressed his mouth to his top beak before pulling away. To his amazement, his eyes were more than wet and visibly weighed with water. A couple of beads of liquid trailed down his cheeks and Yugi wiped at them before smiling wobbly and turning to follow Yami and Jonouchi.
Atem wished with everything in him that he could have followed, but he knew if he did, he wouldn't have gone back with Yami and Timaeus.
And what would they do then?
Yami hesitated as they approached the river. Atem hadn't spoken since they'd left and he'd kept his head lowered the entire trek from the village. No amount of soft jokes or comforting words from Timaeus had even gotten his attention, the God Dragon was so far removed from them. Yami could barely sense him, he'd withdrawn so far into his own head. The lack of verbal response had been worrisome at first, before he'd realized it was likely for the best. What was there to say?
Yugi was no longer with them, and the separation likely was all the worse for the fact he'd just healed. There was no comfort to be found in his absence, even if it likely gave Atem just enough space to think for himself again. He knew he'd felt suffocated before, though he'd never spoken against Yugi's presence…
He wanted to apologize, but the words would have fallen on deaf ears and he did not want to remind Atem somehow of the loss anew. Even if Atem could think of nothing else, he didn't want to constantly being it to his attention.
He looked away. Timaeus stopped short of following Atem when the Sky Dragon trudged along again.
"Will he be okay?"
Yami looked over. "He'll be fine. He just…needs to process it," he whispered. He tucked his wings into his sides until the ends rubbed his flanks raw. "He's in shock."
Timaeus opened and closed his mouth, then flexed his claws. "But Yugi is okay. He's alive."
"Atem never got time to process he'd died before we went to retrieve him. And he didn't get time to truly spend time with him before I told him we needed to remove them. I… He's just in shock. He needs to process what's happened."
He nodded slowly, turning away and staring at the ground. "Then I can't help him," he said finally. Yami blinked as Timaeus huffed and took a seat. The Knight Dragon turned to him after a long moment, eyes burning into his. "But if I can't help him, then I'll settle for your company instead."
Yami bristled faintly but nodded slowly. "Okay."
Sure; why shouldn't they take advantage of the time to talk? Atem wouldn't want them in the den with him for a while yet. And he didn't think they could survive much longer in each other's company if they failed to talk.
Timaeus was silent for a long time, then shifted his weight. "Atem doesn't think you're to blame for hesitating when you realized he might die." His eyes burned into Yami's. "He tried to tell me I shouldn't hold it against you, especially because you're so young. He wants me to forgive you for hesitating when it could have cost him his life. Because you lost Yugi for a while and now he no longer remembers you."
Yami snorted. "I don't need him to convince you to forgive me. I don't need his help for your forgiveness. What good is it if it is dragged from you?" he scoffed. He glanced toward where Atem had vanished and wrapped his tail around his paws as he turned back. "But I will tell you, Timaeus, I don't regret trying to live longer than I was originally granted. I've saved myself twice now and I've watched myself twice condemned. So many want my hide and yet none have the bravery to strike for it but Jaden and Dimitri. Your anger… It weighs almost nothing in comparison to the fear I feel with every heartbeat."
He blinked, surprised. "You're so afraid?"
"It holds me here. But I can't just wait for things to happen around me. I must see to it that Atem and Yugi have a better opportunity to watch another sunrise," he answered. He flicked his tail and closed his eyes. "Atem has no right to ask your forgiveness in my place."
Timaeus was silent for a moment. "No, but he did point out what I hadn't thought much of," he admitted. He huffed. "And I can't fault the fact that you did lose a parent even if he was physically returned to you."
"You haven't forgiven me. I know that. I feel the resentment under your skin, burning through your blood."
"Do you blame me? It's been barely a day. And Atem already begs for me to forgive you."
Yami opened his eyes. "Timaeus, it doesn't matter if you forgive me or not," he murmured. "Because, at the end of it, you and I shall both die. The moment my heart stops, the one in your chest will as well. I don't think forgiveness amounts to much in light of that. Whether you forgive me or not changes almost nothing. What will change is whether you'll die regretting it or not."
"Why are you so certain that'll be what happens?"
He shook his head. "Timaeus, let me ask you something."
The Knight Dragon tilted his head. "What is it?"
"Do you love me?"
"Yes."
"Even now? When I'm not the little hatchling you remember?" he prompted, and almost smiled when Timaeus gave him a puzzled look. "Or do you just love the little hatchling from your memories and you haven't reconciled that I've grown and changed?"
He blinked. "Yami, what—?"
"I just always wonder," he said quietly, getting up, "who you see when you look at me. If you see me as me now or the hatchling you once attempted to fight the God Dragons for."
Timaeus opened his mouth, but Yami turned to follow Atem.
Atem climbed to his paws and padded slowly out of the den. The tunnel seemed unusually long and narrow, almost suffocating, and his stomach lurched as he jumped down. The cold air bit at his flesh as he continued forward. The snow covered his claws, almost coating his toes, and the ice glistened beneath a full sun. He felt ill.
Had he slept so long?
It seemed as if he'd failed to even rest, exhausted and flustered. He flexed his claws and listened to the crunching noise as it echoed through the still air. His stomach lurched again and he glanced around slowly. Timaeus and Yami were nowhere to be seen, which meant they'd likely left him to his own means as they had the last handful of days. He'd ignored them and slept curled up away from them, and refused more than once to speak even when they discussed things around him. It wasn't hard to think maybe they'd gotten tired of it and left for once on their own before he woke.
He shifted his weight, flexing his claws again, and slowly forced himself to start walking. He didn't know where he planned to go. He wasn't hungry and hadn't been since Yugi had taken residence with the humans. It was hard to stir up even the smallest inkling of care for the situation…
But he had kept his head up and paid attention despite ignoring the questions toward his wellbeing. He did still eat at their insistence but he hadn't hunted for so long it almost made him wonder if he still knew how. It was foolish. He hadn't been so secluded from them for more than a few days, yet somehow everything felt removed and cold…
He blinked and shivered.
Was this what happened when Sky Dragons lost their mates?
Yugi was still alive, but he had died…
Maybe the realization had finally just caught up with him and—
He stiffened and looked over. Something was rushing through the snow toward him. He blinked, eyes narrowing, and then stiffened. It was jet black, with glittering eyes and sharp claws. For the smallest second his hearts raced as the thought came that maybe it was Yugi. Maybe he had been so miserable there in the village that he'd come back despite being told otherwise.
But they did not possess brilliant red gems across their hardened scales and the formation of their armor was entirely different. They did not have the immense muscular appearance Yugi did even at first glance.
Atem didn't move even when they charged faster up the slope. His interest had dwindled the moment he realized it wasn't Yugi, though instinct screamed he pay attention. He watched them despite the numbness in his senses, flicking his tail. They were inches from him, teeth bared and claws braced. He blinked, ducking beneath the onslaught. Their teeth buried themselves in his shoulder beneath his wings and their claws threatened to cut through his flank.
"Oh, gods," he heard someone else blurt, and his eyes flickered toward them slowly. Instinct reared to throw the female off him, to send her flying and gut her as he would a fish. But his body felt cold and heavy and moving seemed suddenly too hard. "Let go of him—"
The female dug in further, claws tunneling into his side. Atem spat, startled by the searing pain, and twisted to try to throw her off. It amazed him his instincts even came to the surface then, begging his attention and demanding he defend himself.
"Let go of—"
Atem barely had time to notice someone else rushing forward. They slammed into the female hard enough to throw her back, bristling and spitting furiously. They were a shade darker than him, and smaller but with Fire Dragon markings and—
Yami. Atem blinked. How had he forgotten about Yami?
The Red-Eyes rolled to her paws and shook herself out, bristling. A bewildered expression crossed her face before she hissed, "What are you?"
Yami flicked his tail and scowled. "News reached you then?"
"Was it not supposed to?" she spat, spinning on Atem immediately. Atem noticed her mate awkwardly looking between them, eyes wide and horrified. He looked as if he wanted to puke as he considered them both intently. "You let him die."
Atem blinked, for a moment wondering if it was worth denying. But he'd announced it himself that Yugi was dead. He'd known it would reach other areas after they visited the Clans. That was never a question. It was a matter of how quickly and when someone either came after him in his broken state for another courtship attempt despite his species, or for Yugi's parents to come to punish him.
He shifted his weight and looked towards Yugi's father. The Luster Dragon glanced at him, then quickly away. His eyes flashed with bitterness, voice dropping with frustration as he hissed, "He's a Sky Dragon. He wouldn't have let Yugi die without a fight."
Yami glanced at Atem and back quickly. "You can't blame Atem for what happened. He wasn't present when Dimitri—"
"What are you?" Yugi's mother snarled, turning on him again. Her eyes were wide and burning, searching his face furiously. She flexed her claws, snarled softly, and bore her teeth. "What are you even doing here? Who are you? What do you matter?"
Atem was almost impressed she did not turn on Yami as well. Instead she curled her lips back to show the ridges of her teeth, snarled softly in annoyance, and then turned to him again. Yami hadn't answered, studying her, and Atem wondered why he did not speak against her.
"He doesn't need you turning on him for what he's already lost," Yugi's father snarled, voice dripping with anger. He shivered, shook his head sharply, huffed, and scowled at the snow. "He lost him. He doesn't need the reminder. He doesn't need you to attack him either. He's—"
"I fought so hard for him to survive," the Red-Eyes screamed, bristling and lashing her tail. Her eyes were wild and burning as they locked with his once more. Yami stepped between them, but the female ignored him entirely, shaking with outrage. The loathing in her expression grew tenfold as they regarded each other. "I fought for him to survive and you—you got him killed. He ignored me and he came after you. He ignored my warnings. He ignored my cautions. He ignored me. All because he was so convinced you were worth it. And you swore to me you would protect him."
Atem barely suppressed his flinch. His hearts raced tenfold and he barely managed to keep from looking away. But somehow the rage in her expression kept him in place. He could barely move. He could barely convince himself in any manner to step forward or away, entire body stiff enough his head felt it might explode. He wanted to argue with her, but he could find no words.
He had failed to protect him.
He hadn't saved Yugi when he'd gone after Dimitri.
He had promised his safety and failed.
He hadn't been able to stop him dying.
He had pulled him out of Paradise.
He hadn't saved him.
I couldn't save him.
Yami blinked, head whipping around to stare at him. Atem didn't look over, staring at Yugi's mother as the female sprang for him again. Yami rushed forward to intercept, and Yugi's father let out an annoyed snarl as he sprang toward them. Timaeus had come forward at some point, spitting as he rushed at the female.
But she never made contact with Atem.
And Yami and Timaeus both sprang away abruptly.
Atem bristled as he saw someone else slam into the female. The two of them rolled, spitting and snarling. Blood sprayed and then a startling wail broke between them. The newcomer dodged away and shook himself out, spitting and baring his teeth. Yugi's mother stumbled for her paws, startled and with huge eyes. They eyed each other wordlessly, and the female opened and closed her mouth twice before her head snapped toward Atem once more.
"What…is this?"
Yami shook himself out and took a seat, glancing at Timaeus sideways but failing to speak. Atem stared at the newcomer for a long time, then turned back to Yugi's mother with a grimace. He didn't know what to say; the words stuck in his throat as he considered.
"Yugi…"
The Gandora huffed and shook himself out. "You're not allowed to hurt him. I don't know when you got the idea you were, but you're not," he spat.
"She thought you were dead."
"Even more so," Yugi snarled, scowling. "You can't come after him just because you believed me dead. Are you insane? Atem is mine. You can't just turn on him because you thought I was deceased!"
Yugi's mother stared at Atem blankly. "How?" she managed, voice choked with pain. Atem nearly flinched. She looked exhausted, almost broken, as if she didn't believe what she was seeing. "How is he…? I thought…"
Atem glanced at Yugi sideways, hearts racing. The Gandora was still staring at her, body angled to protect him should she come running again. Yugi flexed his claws, stiffening his shoulders, back arched and scales raised in a more furious bristle. Atem shivered and glanced over toward Yugi's mother slowly, eyes still locked on Yugi in his peripheral.
"It was…" Atem flicked his tail. He flexed his wings, tucking them forcefully into his sides for comfort, and managed to murmur, "I…brought him back."
Yami glanced over, eyes wide. Yugi's parents stiffened and stared.
"You…shared a heart with him?" his mother snarled. "How?"
Atem wondered if there was a way to spin the story to make it seem as if the words could be true. Maybe he could lie and say he'd somehow managed the task. But he doubted anyone would believe it. Yugi was a Fire Dragon hybrid, and his Sky Dragon species could not properly mix in any manner with his. It was why Yami had been so impossible, why even though the stress Atem had unknowingly put himself through producing an egg shouldn't have ensured his survival. Atem couldn't share a heart with him like that. They were incompatible…
No amount of divinity in his genes would have changed that…
"I…don't know," Atem said instead, because he didn't know how to explain the situation and somehow he couldn't wrap his thoughts around the idea of the impossibility of Yugi's return. He could not truly fathom the words he'd needed to summon the explanation. He looked away.
"What?" Yugi's mother scoffed and turned away. Atem saw her turn toward her son almost immediately. "You're okay…"
He didn't know why her voice sounded so skeptical. Atem glanced over at Yugi in his peripheral, struggling to comprehend her tone. Was Yugi not okay? He seemed it physically, even if he was still angry and glaring at the female…
"I am," Yugi said proudly. He'd raised his head defiantly, flicking his tail. "I'm perfectly fine. Atem brought me back. Dimitri isn't so amazing as to be strike me down permanently."
Atem flinched and looked away. His eyes shot immediately to Yami who glanced at Timaeus and back slowly. The Uria shook himself out after a moment and murmured, "I…led Atem to Yugi when Dimitri managed to kill him. Atem brought him back."
Yugi's mother turned to him with a snarl, then stopped short. Her eyes narrowed, burning into Yami's, and for a long minute she was silent. Then she bristled, scowled, and hissed, "I thought you were dead."
"It's a misconception," Yami answered, smirking, "as you can clearly see."
Atem flexed his claws uneasily. "He was in hiding and is no longer." He paused and looked to Yugi. The Gandora had taken a seat, though still posed to spring forward should Atem become a target once more. He didn't know whether to be thankful or just frustrated with the entire situation.
"Where was he?" Yugi's father asked slowly, turning to Atem. "He wasn't here. So where did you leave him?"
"He was in the human village."
Yugi looked at his mother after a moment, tilting his head. "You're shivering," he commented softly, stepping forward. "Did you want to warm up in one of the dens?"
For the first time Atem realized something he hadn't considered before. His head shot toward Yami, who abruptly turned away as if he'd been struck, and his mouths seemed dried out as he looked to Yugi again.
Yugi…wasn't cold.
Yugi hadn't responded to the snow at all.
Yugi had not even slowed down or complained of being tired.
Yugi was showing no signs of hibernation.
Yugi did not show symptoms of cold.
Why…wasn't he cold?
Atem turned immediately back to Yugi. He should have been just as cold as his mother, not as undaunted as his father. He had such a higher body temperature than his father and it should have been slowed and all but crashing from the cold of the snow under his paws. He should have been seeking shelter and—
Yugi turned to him. "I don't feel the cold," he said slowly, nodding as if he were answering a question Atem had asked him. "I haven't since I came back."
Atem looked immediately to Yami, a snarl forming on his mouths. The Uria had turned to Yugi then, voice low and dripping with frustration.
"You bonded with Atem as you came back. You chose to follow him, and your payment was to bond to him as fully as possible. You do not suffer temperature changes because Atem himself never has. You will not feel the shock of cold water any longer." Yami bristled. "And you will not die before him, because you…tied yourself to him so completely."
Yugi blinked and stared, then glanced at Atem and then back. "What?"
"You chose Atem when you came back. Because you chose him over everything, you and he bonded to the point of your lives being tied to each other. You shall die the moment he does. You will not die before him, unless struck down again, and even then I do not know it would be permanent because Atem would still be alive. "
Yugi stiffened. "Will he feel it if I get hurt?"
Yami was silent for a long time. "I don't know," he muttered. "I don't know much of any of it. But I can see it. Your lifespan has stretched to mirror his and your temperature hasn't plummeted. You're…drawing from him even as we speak, just enough to stabilize your body heat to avoid feeling the cold."
Atem glanced at Yugi sideways. "What does that mean exactly?"
"That Yugi's life is tied to yours irreparably and I didn't realize it would happen before I took you to find him."
"If you'd managed to bring him back…?"
"He'd die when I do, yes."
