YES! YES! YES! YEEEEEEEEEES!

Finally! Rocinante Flugslys had agreed to become his subordinate! Black Hat was beyond thrilled! It had been so long since he had employees and he was over the damn moon to have one again!

The last one had been incredibly useless, but Black Hat had high hopes for this Flug! THIS man wouldn't die from vomit!

But, just in case, he would put extra effort into not vomiting on him.

With the news of Flug's agreement, Black Hat had to restrain himself from literally jumping for pure joy and elation. He didn't, obviously, he had an image to maintain. But he did insist on doing most of the unpacking while Flug sat on the cooler once the two finally got in out of the backseat of his vehicle.

He also insisted Flug drink the first beer of the night. It didn't seemed like the scarred young man was a drinker by any means, but he deserved it.

He just signed onto the team of the future world dictator, after all. News like that needs a drink to help it sink in.

While Flug sipped half-heartedly from his beer bottle, Black Hat went about unloading the trunk. There wasn't anything really heavy; just some sleeping bags, fold-out chairs, a smaller cooler filled with some defrosted meat, buns, and all the necessary materials to build a campfire. Oh, and utensils, along with paper plates.

Black Hat was not some savage.

Flug wanted to help him, it was actually pretty adorable, but Black Hat shooed him away. He was grateful for his submission and wanted to show him how much he truly appreciated his joining him. He would do this by making a fire and cooking dinner.

Neither man had had a decent meal all day, so it should be a nice treat.

The fire was made easily enough, he had made fires on his own time for so long using whatever flammable materials he could scavenge, so having such simple tools at the ready was quite convenient.

For those not in the know, it's a good idea to dig a hole about six inches deep for the fire, making sure to keep flammable materials like fabric or dry plants away. Fires could be unpredictable, and Black Hat had burned himself enough in his youth to know to take it seriously.

After the hole is dug, six inches deep and maybe two feet across, make sure there's a good amount of dirt piled around the rim, to prevent the fire from spreading. Gather tinder and kindling (in layman's terms, the stuff that you'll start off with and the actual fuel for your fire), which Black Hat had brought with him. Start a small fire with the tinder, using conventional fire-starting means, and place it in the hole. Once it starts to really burn, begin adding kindling gradually.

You don't want to waste all your kindling, or else you'll find yourself sitting in the isolated desert with an ever lowering flame, losing the faint protection and security the small light provided. Having the darkness close in on you, along with all the creatures that hide within it. Growing closer to you as the faint embers burn out and leave you stranded in a dark sea with no shore until the sun itself comes upon you from the distant horizon.

That scenario was perfect for scary stories or murders, not so much when attempting to make your new underlings feel at ease in your presence.

Black Hat made their campfire, set up the metal tray to cook the meat patties on, and set up the fold-out chairs. Two of them, one for each man. They were non-distinct things he got from...somewhere. It didn't really matter, he didn't use them often.

The dark suited man sat leisurely, and after a moment's hesitation Flug sat in his own chair adjacent to him. The fire was small, a bit hidden by the tray that was cooking their dinner.

Flug was still sipping his alcoholic beverage. Wow, he still hadn't finished it? Black Hat would've probably been halfway through his second bottle by that point. Then again, he didn't really sip his beer. Wine he would sip. Not beer. Beer went down better if it went down quickly.

Ok, this silence was getting awkward. Really awkward. Oh God someone say something.

"Dammit Flug stop being so fidgety! Calm your ass down!" He said, loudly.

Crap. He hadn't meant to say that out loud. Or at that volume.

Flug himself had jumped, and spilled some of his drink on himself in the process. Aw man, he really scared him didn't he? He wasn't close enough to casually reach out and touch the other man, scooting his chair over like a child was out of the question, so what was left? Awkward small talk to lighten the mood?

Uuuuuuuuuuggggghhhhh why is this so difficult?!

With a sigh, he resigned himself to making conversation. "So, not a drinker?" He asked.

"Huh? Uh, no. Alcohol isn't really m-m-m-my thing." Flug replied, still holding the bottle timidly with both hands like a teenager having his first uncertain drink of his fathers liquor.

"It's better if you don't sip it." Black Hat said, trying to offer legitimate advice to his young subordinate. "Beer isn't made to taste good, stop trying to savor it."

Flug looked down at the drink in his hands, he didn't look like he was enjoying the prospect of drinking it in bigger amounts. Black Hat got up and retrieved himself a bottle from the cooler. He opened it swiftly and took a large swig.

"Ahh, see? Like that." Flug looked unconvinced.

"Just try it."

Flug shrugged his shoulders as if to say Well, I got nothing to lose, and leaned back as he chugged the rest of the bottle.

Black Hat laughed. He wasn't expecting that! The timid engineer just up and chugged that stuff! He was thinking maybe he'd give it a cautious try but nope! He downed the remaining half in seconds!

"Now that's what I'm talking about!" He exclaimed, going over and slapping the young man on the shoulder. Flug himself was shaking his head like a wet dog, likely feeling the effects of the alcohol.

"Better?" Black Hat said with an eyebrow raised. He was back in good spirits again.

Flug nodded. "Y-yeah, yeah actually. That was...that was better."

"Want another?" Asked Black Hat, already sauntering back to the cooler before Flug could say no.

"M-m-ma-m-maybe in a little bit?" Flug replied, but Black Hat was already approaching him with a second beer. It was said as sort of a question so Black Hat opened the bottle and handed it to him anyway.

"Come on, Flug. We still haven't toasted to celebrate your joining of the future-ruler-of-the-world's team!" He said. "It's a special occasion! Let go of your inhibitions!"

"I'm n-n-n-not sure I wa-want to?"

"It customary." Black Hat said with a shrug. "A toast! To my first employee!"

The two men clinked their bottles together and drank heartily. Black Hat noticed from the corner of his eye that Flug was taking a rather large swig of his drink. He smiled, finally the guy was getting into it!

Man, those burgers were starting to smell great. How exactly he could smell them, he wasn't sure but he wasn't complaining. Nothing like the scent of cooking meat to bring out the hunger you've been ignoring all day. Black Hat's stomach growled loudly. He felt the deep urge to sink his teeth into whatever was producing that glorious scent immediately.

Now now, He chided himself. That's no way to behave in front of your brand new underling. Patience.

Of course, he too must be desperately hungry. Well maybe. The guy was so skinny Black Hat wasn't sure how often he actually ate. He was thinking on this as he flipped the patties over, letting their heavenly scent float up in his face like a delicious cloud of satiating warmth.

He felt he might start drooling. How undignified!

And with what his vomit was capable of, how messy as well.

"Oh! Do you have a pen?" Flug asked from behind him.

"A pen?" He turned.

"Yeah. So I can sign this contract?" Flug waved the piece of paper around.

Oh yeah! While he was still sober enough for it to be legally binding! Yes, sign it! Right now sign it now!

"Right, right. A pen. Here." Black Hat fished around in the coat pockets and produced an elegant ink pen, which he lightly tossed over to his employee. Finally, they could put it in writing! He'd been waiting for this since the Cafe!

Speaking of, he was going to have to thank that woman with the distracting hair again. She told him ALL about Flug's comings and goings and what he talked "non-stop" about. It was enough to make his charcoal skin blush, if he was physically capable of blushing. She also shared many details of herself, of which became of more and more interest to him the more she divulged. She seemed like she could prove herself useful, if Black Hat found any need for her.

While he found her voice a bit annoying, as well as her tendency to speak uninterrupted for minutes on end, she had given him a lot of useful information. Had...helped...him, even. It was, after all, in part to her suggestions of "playing hard to get" that Flug now owed him a favor. Which made him see stars at the thought of all the possibilities he could use that for.

And his face when he walked in with her on his arm! Excitement, then confusion, then something Black Hat couldn't describe in one word. Something between disappointment, surprise, and maybe even embarrassment. Was there a word for it?

Ah, but all of that could wait. Flug was now contracually under his employ, and Black Hat would not let anything sour the air of good cheer he was trying to put on.

He turned to him, grinning. It probably looked sinister to the young man. Black Hat wasn't overly trying to look intimidating, he supposed he just had one of those faces. He didn't wear "friendly" very well.

Flug apparently thought so too, as he got up and got himself another beer of his own accord. Good! The high-strung man was learning to loosen up!

Speaking of, had he actually read that contract? Black Hat wasn't sure it would work if he didn't read it in full. It was, in truth, very simple. It could be summed up in a single sentence: I sign away my life and soul to the service of Black Hat and his evil empire.

It was not stated in a simple sentence because the voodoo needed at least a page worth of incantations and charms to work. And that was the stuff NOT in the fine print! A little keepsake from his time in Louisiana, courtesy of a villain with more power than he knew what to do with. Sure, ruler of the underworld sounds fine, but managing all those subjects has got to be hell. Literally.

Oh, he hoped Flug wouldn't be too upset that he signed away his soul. The only reason Black Hat didn't tell him was he didn't think he'd believe it. Who would, without proof? It wasn't as though Black Hat could just summon Dr. Morte at the drop of a hat.

Well, he could but he wasn't sacrificing his hat just to bring a depressed voodoo practitioner out to the middle of Mexico for no real reason. It kind of went without saying that you don't bother the guy with the zombie henchmen just because.

"Ummm, Black Hat?"

"Yes?"

"Wh-what's this ab-b-bout my *hic* soul?" Flug asked in a slightly...buzzed voice.

Oh wow I did not want to explain this.

Black Hat turned from the burgers, which were nearly done, and faced Flug completely. Yeah, the boy was really starting to feel that beer in his system. Lightweight.

He pondered how best to break it to the tipsy man. Just come out and say it? It sounded ridiculous! And a tad...possessive.

Then again, he WAS under the influence a bit. Probably not enough to completely forget what happened yet, but…

Black Hat walked over and took a look at the contract. Flug had already signed it.

Oh well tough luck, Rocinante. (Black Hat could say it perfectly in his mind, why was saying it out loud so hard?!) You already signed it. No take backs.

Like reading the terms and conditions of a software update, you still clicked that you agreed to it. No one can be blamed but yourself.

"Oh yeah that." Black Hat said with a menacing smile. "It's for real." He walked swiftly over for another bottle of beer and opened it in one swift motion. He took a swig and continued. "I have a very close relationship with a Cajun villain based in the southern United States, perhaps you've heard of him? Dr. Morte?"

"The...the...the w-w-wi-witch doctor?" Flug said, sobering up a bit as the realization of what he'd done set in.

"He prefers the term 'obeah doctor', but yes, that's him." Black Hat said. A delicious scent filled his nearly nonexistent nostrils. Oh boy! The burgers were done! Black Hat swiftly put them on buns and and plates and presented one to his new subordinate. Flug took one blankly.

"Well, good old Morty was feeling generous after I did a few...odd jobs, let's say, for him. I mentioned how I was looking for loyal underlings and he suggested to just take their souls so they can't betray me or quit. Sounded good to me, so he drafted a few contracts in advance, gave me a few pointers for making my own, and naturally gave me whole list of things to not do under penalty of eternal damnation and endless suffering."

Flug blinked.

"Or they just won't work. Honestly, I'M the one who'd be suffering for eternity, why are you frightened?"

"Did I really just sign away my soul to you?" He asked in a very small voice.

"Yes, you did." Black Hat said, taking another drink. Wow, Flug looked like he could use another. Well you should've read it in full before you signed, Flug. It is not Black Hat's problem that you didn't.

"Can you even actually do anything with my soul? Does it have monetary value?"

"If I remember correctly, the going rate for a human soul is based primarily on the worth of the human it belongs to. Think of it like the barter system, it's as worth only as much as what you're getting in exchange."

"And...what am I getting? In exchange for my soul?"

"A fabulous job opportunity!" Black Hat said, spreading his arms dramatically. "Lifetime employment! Dental coverage!"

"I get dental coverage?" Flug asked surprised.

"Yes yes I had to throw in something to make it seem worth it. Just so you know, your medical expenses are only paid if they inhibit your ability to work properly. If you can get up and move, you can pay it yourself. Don't worry, you will be making more than enough to pay for anything you might break."

A pause.

"This is surreal." Flug said, running a hand through his hair.

"Well, you agreed to it." Black Hat said, tapping his bottle to Flug's mostly empty one. "And I thank you deeply for your sacrifice."

Flug looked over the contract in his hand again. Black Hat say down in his seat and dug into his burger as he watched the flames. Free now that the metal tray had been removed. Ahhh, the beautiful sight of flames flickering faintly from down in the earth. Even from their position in the ground, they provided decent lighting. And it was a welcome sight to pair with his dinner.

"This says I work we-weekends and holidays." Flug spoke up.

"Does evil take vacations?"

"Can I take siestas? They've been p-p-proven to increase productivity a-and morale in the workplace."

"I'll think about it." Black Hat said, trying to remember what exactly a siesta was. A party? No that wasn't it.

"Work hours are very unspecified."

"Do you really want to get into negotiating the contract now? This is a night of celebration! A worthy addition to the fight for world tyranny! We can go over the specifics like hours and wages tomorrow." Black Hat took another swig of his drink. "I for one think you could really stand to relax every once in a while and just live your life without analyzing every little thing."

"Well fine, 'Lord and Master' Black Hat, maybe I will."

Flug got up and walked over to the cooler. Black Hat liked this lighting for him. It made him look sinister. The firelight cast slight shadows in the curves and indents of his scars, making him look ominous and somewhat ghostly. Like his face was coming right out of the shadows.

"Feel free to keep calling me Master," Black Hat said under his breath.

Really now, if Flug was going to bait him like that then he best be prepared for what Black Hat could do. He wasn't going to restrict himself to plainly noticing the curves of the younger man's body out of the corner of his eye for long if he was going to be such a tease.

And Black Hat did notice Flug's body. Firm and lean, thin but not overly gaunt, his jeans did his legs and ass justice. Flug as a whole was just the embodiment of slimness, something that Black Hat had a bit of a weakness for. He couldn't help but notice it when it flaunted itself so prominently in front of his face.

Black Hat also noticed that Flug had gotten two beers out this time.

Oh this was gonna be good.


Fun fact: drinking on an empty stomach gets the alcohol into your system faster!

Observation: Flug had not eaten anything all day besides chips, soda, and the occasional candy bar. Then downed three bottles of beer before eating a single hamburger, after which he drank two more. All of this while Black Hat, a man who'd been introduced to booze quite early in his youth and had built up a large tolerance to your typical name brand bottle over the years, watched on as he opened up his third bottle of the night.

What Black Hat was getting at here is that he got Flug drunk. Off. His. Ass. Drunk.

And he himself was only slightly tipsy.

Remember kiddies, eat before you drink and know your limits. Or your new boss will encourage you to open up another and you'll do it, because mama didn't raise a quitter.

Which would be Flug's best defense as to why he clumsily fumbled with the stubborn bottle in the state he was in. Or it would be, if he could get the words out. Mainly he was slurring along something Black Hat couldn't make out. It became slightly more intelligible when he grabbed the bottle out of his hands.

"No no yo puedo hacerlo no." He said, slurring and mumbling like a drunk toddler. He was waving his arms slowly, like that was going to actually do something. It took Black Hat a second longer than usual to mentally translate what he was saying.

"No no no, you're going to hurt yourself. Let me." He opened the bottle and handed it back. The flumbling scientist spilled a good amount on his shirt before he was able to bring the bottle up to his lips.

Black Hat chuckled. "Flug, had you ever actually drank before tonight?"

"I…" he struggled to stay on his feet. "I'll have you know…" His voice dipped higher and lower, like someone messing around with the pitch of their instrument. Also he burped. A LOT.

"I'll have you know Señor *burp* Sombrero, that I've been drunk SO many ti- *hic* times before it's not even, it's not even funny." Oh god this was hilarious.

"Oh yeah? How many?"

"Se-seven...six...two…?" His voice trailed off.

Oh sweet lord that was IT?! No way! He was such a baby!

Black Hat couldn't stop himself from laughing at loud at this! It was just too good! He laughed so hard he almost fell down! Although he regained his balance shortly after, he did stumble a bit.

Which Flug apparently took at a sign that it was okay to push him down.

Other fun fact: Drunk people have terrible balance.

So when Flug attempted to knock down his howling companion, he fell right with him.

Or rather, fell on him.

Black Hat stared in absolute shock at the intoxicated man struggling to lift himself off of his chest. He apparently gave it up, and resigned himself to just. Laying there.

Um, excuse you, GET YOUR DAMN ASS OFF ME!

"Flug." Black Hat said in a serious tone. He was all for drunken antics but this was pushing it. He was his boss now, officially! He wouldn't take insubordination laying down!

Despite that being what he was currently doing.

Flug turned his head up to look at him. His glasses were askew on his face, the one eye Black Hat could see clearly was glassy and it's pupil was dilated. His face was slightly red, although it was hard to see from the orange glow of the fire. He also had a really dumb smile on his face.

"Black Hat," he mumbled. "Where's your nose?"

Oh for the love of-

"Flug." Black Hat prompted again. The man in question focused on him a bit. "Get off me."

Instead of obeying, Flug instead crawled up his body, bring himself closer to his face, and reached for something above him. All the while rubbing his booze-splattered shirt on Black Hat's fine-tailored dress shirt.

Oh shit the coat is getting all dirty! No!

Then Black Hat's heart momentarily stopped as he realized what Flug had grabbed. As Flug sat up on his chest wearing HIS HAT!

"¡Ahora soy Black Hat!" He announced, the hat falling in his face.

There are...no words…

Well, except maybe-

"Give me back my hat!" Black Not-Wearing-A-Hat yelled. He sat up, which knocked Flug down, and left Black Hat with a drunk Flug sprawled in his lap scrambling to get away while keeping the hat on his head. They fought, Black Hat grabbing his legs and pants, Flug attempting to stand up. Both failing miserably due to the alcohol in their systems.

Black Hat was better off, but still three beers deep mind you.

"¡No no no, soy Black Hat, soy el jefe a-*hic*-ahora!" He screamed in his drunken tone, tripping over himself and stepping on the real Black Hat's legs. "¡Yo digo que no!"

Black Hat himself was losing track of what Flug was saying, but he recognized "Black Hat". Needless to say, he was not happy at what he could only guess Flug was saying.

"Flug if you don't stay still and give me my goddamn hat back I swear-" He was cut off by Flug landing a kick to his stomach. He instinctively let go of Flug in order to hold his aching body. That was going to be sore in the morning.

Flug managed to get to his feet and run for a few steps before he fell flat on his face again. Most likely damaging the hat.

Oh boy you done fucked up now.

Flug actually managed to get back up and keep running. While still holding the hat on his head. Black Hat was slow on his feet but he too rose up and began to chase the drunken headwear thief.

Flug actually had Black Hat chasing him around their campsite for five goddamn minutes! Amidst screams of "¡Yo soy Black Hat! ¡Impostor! ¡Hagamos de la base un sombrero gigante! ¡Quiero un sombrero gigante del mal!"

But, as anyone who gets habitually drunk can tell you, booze and exercise do not go well together.

While Black Hat was limping along, going easy on his stomach, Flug was running around like a toddler. Knocking into things, tripping, getting turned around. It was a wonder he didn't step into the campfire.

He did, however, puke really close to Black Hat's car.

Much too close for comfort.

Black Hat took the opportunity to do what he should've done from the absolute start. He crouched down, resting on his knees as Flug hurled. There was no need to keep this ridiculous chase going. He unleashed the long multi-jointed limbs from his body, allowing them to slither just out of the light and latch onto Flug while he was distracted. They tore holes in his shirt and coat as they shot out from his back and sides. Even Black Hat himself had very little idea of where exactly on his body they came from. It seemed like they protruded from wherever he wanted them. His back was a favorite, the flat expanse of flesh an ideal area for sprouting his hidden limbs, if they could be classified as limbs. They were really more like tentacles.

Flug found himself being yanked by his ankles back to where Black Hat crouched, still holding his stomach. He attempted to grab something to anchor himself. But it was no use. One, nothing was tied down or anything, so he would just drag it with him. Two, he did NOT have the motor skills for that right now.

He screamed on the short way back. Screamed like something out of a horror movie was dragging him back to murder him. Which may not have been far from the truth.

Black Hat considered tucking the tentacle-esque appendages back into his body. Flug hadn't seen them, even if he had he was too drunk to remember it, he would probably write it off as a hallucination or a weird dream if he did.

But, the little drunkard was still fighting! So he kept them out, holding him in place by the ankles and ever so gently snaking their way up to his knees. Well, ok, maybe he was a bit rough with him in truth. He allowed them to slither up Flug's legs and squeeze him tight to inhibit his movements. Flug would not be going anywhere. He stole his hat. But, you know, it wasn't that big a deal.

It was ok. Things were fine. Everything was fine. He made sure all the little mouths that tended to spring up from his body during times like these closed and disappeared before approaching Flug further. His abdominals hurt, he would likely have a bruise in the morning. Damn him. But that was ok. He could live with it. Everything was just peachy keen. Perfectly fine.

Except everything was NOT fine, because his precious hat was FILTHY!

As he snatched it from Flug's still thrashing head (oh come on, you're just going to make yourself sick again), he could see the damage. It'd gotten all this dirt and dead grass on it from Flug's crashing into the ground every few seconds! It was scuffed and bent in places! Why Flug, why did you hurt an innocent hat you monster!

But...he was still going to wear it. That was his hat.

As Black Hat placed the filthy thing back on his head he positioned himself on top of Flug's still writhing body, pinning his bottom half down with his own legs (and the tentacles, but Flug didn't need to know about those) and held his wrists above his head in a death grip with his right hand. It didn't stop him from trying to squirm away. Black Hat had to admit, he enjoyed Flug being feisty and defiant like this. It showed spunk. It showed a will to live that just not everyone had.

Because most in this position would scream "No, no let me go! Please!" Instead of "¡Suéltame, nabo enojado!"

His Spanish was beginning to come back to him. Ah, it was good to actually understand the nonsense this man was spewing again. Then he realized Flug had called him an angry turnip.

...What?

He couldn't help but laugh at that.

Of all the things to say! All the insults he could've hurled! He chooses turnip! Oh no, I'm sorry. I meant he chose ANGRY turnip! Very different, I'm sure!

Black Hat leaned over, letting his weight rest on Flug's body. The man stilled, seeming to realize his situation. About time.

"Flug," Black Hat said in his ear, low and menacing, hoping he was coherent enough to understand him again. "Flug, you took my hat."

"I-I-I'm sorry-" Flug said, stuttering more from intoxication than this apparent nervous condition.

"Flug," Black Hat said again, cutting him off. "Flug, you messed up my hat. I love this hat. This hat is the most precious thing I own."

"S-s-sorry." He did actually sound pretty sorry for what he'd done. He didn't sound scared, though. That was a problem. In these situations, he should be scared.

Black Hat wrenched his head to the side with his free hand, exposing his neck. Flug let out a cry of pain from the force, and Black Hat's iron grip in his hair, he was sure.

Black Hat allowed his breath to ghost along the nape of Flug's neck seeing goosebumps rise on the sensitive skin. Flug tried moving his head, but it was no use. Black Hat had him in his clutches, and he wasn't moving unless Black Hat allowed it.

"If you're so sorry, why don't you make it up to me?" Black Hat asked, exposing his sharp teeth in a wide grin.

Before Flug could reply, Black Hat sunk his teeth into the area where the neck met the shoulder. Biting hard. Hard enough to send little rivers of blood to pour from the man's body. He chuckled as the familiar taste of blood filled his mouth and he lapped at the open wounds. Nearly close enough to open up a few old scars. Nearly.

Black Hat was expecting a cry of pain. A scream. For Flug to beg him to stop. Sobbing and pleading that it hurt so much!

He didn't hear it.

Instead what he heard was a cry of...pleasure? Followed by "¡Ahhhh sí papí más duro!"

And...he felt Flug...move...against him? But not as if he was trying to get away. More like...well, he was arching his back, and that was...odd...it was like he was trying to get his hips closer to-

Oh.

OH.

OHOHOHOHOH! OH!

Black Hat had lessened his grip in surprise, but now he experimentally clenched his teeth down again. He gingerly stroked his tongue back and forth across the flesh in his mouth. It would probably burn a bit, but if he was careful the worst Flug would suffer is a few bite marks and something that could pass for a sunburn. A pretty bad sunburn but nothing worse.

Flug gave sign of pleasure and a cute little moan. And another pleasing cry when Black Hat increase his bite further still. He began to pant loudly, and he kept pushing his ass up. Trying to grind against him.

Well...unexpected, but not completely unwelcomed. This'll do.

Black Hat released Flug's hands, opening his maw just long enough to instruct him to stay down before he bit him again. Flug, it seemed, had no intention of moving from his spot beneath him. Content to let Black Hat's now free hand roam along his side until coming to a stop at his hip.

Black Hat grabbed him roughly and kneaded the soft flesh through his jeans. Flug stilled his own movements, lost in bliss, so Black Hat took the initiative and began grinding into him himself.

Flug's sounds became more needy. He started writhing again, but not in panic. More in pent up lustful desire. He tried bucking his hips up, but the force of Black Hat's thrusts kept him down.

Keep in mind, both men still had their pants on while doing this.

Flug tried to move his hands down, but Black Hat grabbed him by the neck with his left hand. He angled his face so that he could look into his eyes. Still dazed and glassy, but they had a certain spark in them that was driving Black Hat up the wall.

"Who said you could touch yourself?" He said sensually. "Hmm?" He moved from the open wounds on his neck and brought himself closer to Flug's face. He ran his tongue over the cross-hatching spiderweb of scars on his cheek. Flug tried in vain to hold back a moan. The acidity of Black Hat's saliva likely giving him a small burning sensation.

So, they were a sensitive spot, were they? Good to know.

"I-I-I was just, just, OH!" He exclaimed as Black Hat moved down to nibble at his neck again. Softer this time, not enough to break the skin. "Just, just going t-t-t-"

"To what? This?" Black Hat asked as he moved his right hand from Flug's hip to his crotch. He grabbed him none too gently and began to palm him through the jean material. Flug's voice got noticeably higher and tried furiously to thrust into his hand.

Which is kinda pointless when you're still wearing pants. It's just not happening, man.

Black Hat nipped Flug's ear. "Mmmm, you're so worked up Flug." He whispered. He tightened his grip on his neck. Not enough to cut off his breathing, not much of it anyway, just hard enough that he'd still enjoy it. "Are you getting all hot just for me?"

In between Flug's shameless gasps for breath, he mumbled out something that sounded like a confirmation.

"Still a virgin?"

"Ye-yes." He mumbled, his face turning red.

"You want more?" He asked, while stroking him lightly though his pants. Oh boy, anymore and he'd probably cream himself. "Do you want more of me?"

"Yes yes yes yes yes please." Flug repeated like a mantra, his hands clenched into fists in the dirt. "Please please please yes sir yes please."

Aw, he called him sir. How adorable. How lovely it would be to see him come undone by his hands right now. To have his undeniable submission, right from Day One. Oh, Black Hat would hold it over him for the rest of his life! Would constantly remind him of how he had begged him for his body, how desperate he was for his touch.

So Black Hat stopped touching him. He removed his hands from his body, stood up, released Flug's legs from their bonds of his extra limbs, and walked over to the cooler. He calmed reached in and took one of the remaining beers, opened it, and sat back down in his chair. Or maybe it had been Flug's. Who kept track?

Flug himself had rolled onto his back and propped himself up on his elbows. He was staring at Black Hat with a mix of confusion and betrayal clear on his face. How could you? It screamed. I was so close!

"Wh-why did you stop?" He said.

"You made it up to me." Black Hat said with a shrug.

"What?"

"My hat. I said that if you were so sorry about messing it up, you should make it up to me. You did." He took a long swig of his beer. "Ahhh. We should do this again sometime. You're a fun drunk. And a lightweight."

Flug continued staring at him. "Are you even human?"

Black Hat's heart stopped for a second.

He'd been asked that question before. Numerous times. Mostly he heard it from people on their deathbeds. The cornered and broken. The ones lucky enough to escape once but not enough to cheat death twice. The ones who looked up with wide eyes knowing the multi-limbed figure in front of them would be the last earthy sight their eyes beheld.

Are you even human?

"I'm here with...this-" Flug said, gesturing to his crotch. Impressive tent there, boy. "And you just…*burp* get up and leave me." He swung his arms around drunkenly. "Like it's...it's nothing. You're ju-just fine. What the hell."

Oh, he was talking about himself. Oh.

"Oh get over yourself." Black Hat said, taking another long drink. He emptied the bottle this time and it was finally starting to give him a real buzz. "Go on talking about your giant hat."

"Giant hat?"

"That's what you kept screaming about, Flug. You wanted a giant hat. Of evil." He was honestly proud of that one, not that he'd admit it to him.

"Oh!" Flug suddenly yelled. It startled Black Hat so much he actually jumped in his seat. "Oh I remember! Black Hat!" Flug crawled on all fours over to him. "Black Haaaaaat!"

"What? What? I'm listening."

"Our *ermmph* our base! Our headqua-quarters!"

"What about it?"

"Let's make it a giant hat." Flug said, grinning up at him.

"What?"

"Let's make our base a giant hat." Flug said again. He reached up and adjusted his thick frames. "For Black Hat. It'll...it'll be our thing."

"Our thing?"

"Ye *burp* yeah! Like, your hat is, is your thing so when we build our base we sh-should make it a hat an-and it'll be like...our thing."

"Hats?"

"Our fearless leader Black Hat." Flug said in drunken singsong. "In a big Black Hat House. In...what's the name of this town?"

"I don't-"

"Let's call it Hatsville." He said grinning again.

Maybe it was the alcohol. Maybe it was being called "fearless leader". Maybe it was that stupidly cute grin on Flug's face. For whatever reason, this was starting to sound like a great idea.

"And, and, *omph* it'll be AAALLLL red and black, like you. And it'll be great, and we'll live in it together, and we'll get so much work done, and I'll have a giant TV to watch anime, and-"

"What's ani-may?" Black Hat asked, feeling the foreign word stick on his tongue like a wad of strange candy,

"Anime is the gre-greatest thing ever!" Flug proclaimed. "It's like cartoons, but better. And it has giant robot fights."

"Flug, we can just build our own giant robots. And have them fight."

Flug gasped. "Yes! Yes! We'll call them...we'll call them Hat-Bots! And they'll be huge, and have hats, and, and-"

"You're really stuck on hats tonight, huh?"

"You're...you're Black Hat. Let's just put...hats...on everything…" Flug was close enough now that he could grab onto Black Hat's knee. "Hats...for Black Hat."

"Make it my villain persona, you mean?" Black Hat said. In all honesty, not a bad idea. It was catchy, it fit him well, people could actually pronounce it. It was something that wasn't being used by anyone else, as far as he knew.

This...might actually be genius.

"Yeah, yeah." Flug said, crawling sloppily into Black Hat's lap. "Everyone knows you can't use your real na-name. So you, you be Black Hat and I'll, I'll be your awesome scientist, Doctor Flug!"

"Doctor?" Black Hat asked, staring at the drunk young man attempting to straddle him. Oh wow he was bad. You really didn't get far with Julio now did you Flug? Well, it was probably mostly due to the booze in his system. Which made it Black Hat's fault, really.

Flug nodded. "Yeah, I'm gonna be a doctor! And I'll build the d-drill that will pierce the heavens!" He said while pointing up into the sky dramatically. He nearly lost his balance and almost fell right off Black Hat's lap, if said man hadn't grabbed him and pulled him forward. He also took the liberty of righting his leg position.

There we go. Much better.

Black Hat looked up at the man in his lap. The man who was still fairly hard and looking at him with a lustful expression. Drunk and stupid-looking, but lustful. Sitting on his lap. Probably feeling his own excitement through his dress pants. Which were also ruined.

Hey…

"You know…" Black hat said, reaching to hold onto Flug by his sides. If the man actually had any meat on his bones, these would probably be what people call love handles. "You've ruined much more than just my hat."

"I did?" He said, with that dumb look still on his face. Oh God damn him.

"Yes. I'm all dirty because of you."

"Oh, I-I-I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you?" Flug said, bracing himself on Black Hat's shoulders as he lowered his face to meet him. His drunken face split in a thin smile.

"You better." Black Hat said, leaning up to meet him.

The two kissed. Mouths open to taste each other's flavors. Craning their necks to find the perfect angle to deepen their embrace. Tasting the sour flavor of alcohol and the sweet sensation of the other's warm and inviting being. Along with the slight stinging sensation of a weak acid.

Flug seemed to enjoy it, he moaned into Black Hat's mouth, lifting himself off of his lap slightly to get that long tongue intertwined with to his own. Black Hat took that as an opportunity to grab his ass, harshly. It only made Flug moan louder, open his mouth wider, invite Black Hat in deeper.

Flug started moving his hips in amateurish, clumsy moments. Mostly likely trying to emulate things he'd seen on the internet. Black Hat supposed he had a few things to teach him.

There was no rush, they had all the time in the world.


Flug passed out shortly after the fun began. Black Hat apparently could get no farther with him than dear old Julio Bermudez had.

Black Hat's shirt was unbuttoned and he was missing his tie, still not completely sure where exactly it ended up but he was for the most part still decent, if you don't count the numerous tears and holes in his filthy clothes that he was going to have to change out of eventually. Flug was shirtless and his pants were unbuttoned, revealing the pink feminine garment underneath. Not that anything really ended up happening with that.

Goddamn lightweight. You're lucky I'm such a gentleman.

It was true, it would be extremely easy to take advantage of Flug's unconscious state. But Black Hat wouldn't. Much like his employment, he preferred to be willingly given these kinds of things rather than take them by force. It was why he hadn't used Flug's dirty little secret against him. Why he waited so long for Flug to give him an answer of his own free will.

Besides, Flug was drunk. He probably wouldn't remember it clearly enough. One's first time should be something remembered fondly.

And Flug screaming Black Hat's name to the cosmos while he ravaged him with pleasures experienced for the first time in his life was DEFINITELY a moment to be remembered fondly by both parties involved.

Which was why he unrolled the sleeping bags and tossed Flug into one like a sack of sweet potatoes. His glasses were probably still on, maybe, could be. Whatever. If Flug needed new ones he could just get some for him.

His special lenses were probably fairly pricey, but that was no issue. If it was a necessity for his new scientist (future doctor) it was money worth spending.

The fire was starting to die down. They still had a bit of kindling left, which he promptly tossed down the hole. Why save any? He didn't intend to come back anytime soon, now that Flug had become his. His…

His.

He liked the sound of it.

He walked off a bit, wandering into the night. Confident that the fire would guide him back should he lose his way. Happy to have an underling again. The last ones had been so utterly useless. He was happy to watch them die after failing him so badly. Flug, hopefully, would not be the latest in a line of disappointments.

But. But he kept thinking back to what Flug had said. That offhand question that cut unfathomably deep.

Are you even human?

He had gained a bit of notoriety in Italy. He knew it was bad. He knew what it meant. It meant he was no longer safe hiding in plain sight like he did. It meant he had to leave. Go somewhere else. There was nothing more to be done, all that was left was to wrap up loose ends and book the next stop in his journey.

But, how could he? This country was beautiful. So, so beautiful. The land, the culture, the people! It was all magnificent! The underground network of criminal activity was nothing to scoff at either. This land had a long history of organized crime, and their expertise truly showed in how efficiently they ran their business.

Truly, an inspiring and enlightening three years.

He wanted to stay. He'd found himself a little sidekick that was competent enough, nothing special. He certainly wasn't keen on leaving his homeland. Why would he, it was gorgeous!

So he stuck around. He knew it was a stupid move. He knew he was breaking the one rule that had kept him alive and thriving all his life. But he couldn't tear himself away just yet.

He paid for that. With interest.

Apparently, a young up-and-coming villain from parts unknown like him had seemed like the perfect target for a hero just starting out. A hero calling himself Squalo Tigre. Young and inexperienced, despite being born a shark-man and living in a city that's been sinking for hundreds of years.

He hadn't wanted to fight himself. It was nearly impossible to keep his true self hidden when fighting. Despite people like himself being treated FAR better in the majority of the world, there was always that constant fear of being ostracized and discriminated against. So, acting like he was too good to fight, he sent his little sidekick to fight him. He was a normal human, but a good shot with his twin pistols. Someone who could hold their own.

Or so he thought.

Turns out that jumping into the canals to fight a person who is half fish is a bad idea. Who knew?

Well, Black Hat knew. Because he wasn't a goddamn idiot! He tried telling him, but nope! He just jumped in after, saying something about how he'd finish him off. He tried telling him, "No, it's a trap! Don't jump in the water you idiot!" But no, clearly the sidekick knew better.

It didn't take long for the blood to surface.

Of course, he wasn't dead. Squalo Tigre was playing at being a hero, so of course he wasn't going to murder the pathetic excuse for a henchmen. He wasn't above giving him a serious gaping wound in his leg, though. Which he would probably bleed out from fairly quickly. Dumbass.

Then he came at Black Hat. Of course, he wasn't Black Hat back then. This was the country that gave him his fine tailored suit, but not his hat.

It had set him off. Both that his underling had disobeyed, and that the amatuer hero had the gall to damage something he considered HIS.

Squalo Tigre died that day, his blood running in the canals of Venice along with whatever chunks of his body remained of him. There wasn't much, just a few strips of flesh that clung to the fabric of his costume. Black Hat could taste something vaguely metallic in his mouth, even though there was nothing in there but spit. He had the sense that something (something meaty) was stuck in his teeth, even though he could find nothing when he felt around with his tongue. He had the odd sense that he was somehow checking the wrong teeth-

But he preferred not to think about those things.

The look on his failure of a helper's face though. That...haunted him. This was a man who'd seen him torture people. With conventional means; electrocution, screws, barbed wire, waterboarding, slowly skinning someone alive with a potato peeler, ripping off fingernails, he'd even seen him murder a man's favorite dog and then serve it to him as meatballs. But still. He'd seen and participated in some truly twisted acts.

But seeing Black Hat. Seeing what he truly was. His curse.

It...broke him.

Broke him in a way that made him impossible to keep around.

His eyes were wide in horror, his mouth agape, if he hadn't had a shark bite in his leg he probably still wouldn't have ran away because he was nailed to the floor with fear.

Black Hat attempted approaching him, calling him by name as if that would snap him out of it. But it didn't help. If anything, it made it worse.

"Alberto…" He said, trying his best to keep his voice level. To make it clear it was still him. His boss of almost an entire year. "Alberto, it's me. It's just me."

The man was too shaken up to form complete sentences. The most he got out was "No...that...him...you...so...arms...mouths...t-t-teeth...blood...you…"

"Monster."

Then he tried to flee. Tried. He was still waterlogged, and his wound was bleeding profusely. He likely wouldn't be able to stand on it, not even with the adrenaline pumping through him. His mobility was severely limited, the best he could do was crawl backwards by his elbows. Repeating that phrase.

"Monster...you...you...monster...he…"

And it was clear that Alberto was no longer serviceable.

He had always thought that this was a possibility, so he was prepared to do it. It wasn't something he looked forward to, but it had to be done. It would be the last tie to cut with this land, save for Il Ratto and his large network of henchmen. A future client, Black Hat hoped. One with influence.

He approached his former compatriot, both of them knowing full well what was to be done with him. He stopped crawling, seeming to realize how pointless it was to try and escape his fate. He looked up at him, his boss, and asked him:

"Are you even human?"

Black Hat didn't answer, because in truth, he didn't really know. Was he a man with a curse? A man with an ability? Was he even human at all? He had many features some would consider inhuman, as far as he knew it was just how he was born. Who's to say he was or wasn't? And what did it matter?

And why did the question seem to crush his very soul?

Alberto died. In much the same way Squalo Tigre had. Blood running down the street into the water, nothing left but scraps of meat and the not wholly unpleasant taste of blood.

Black Hat thought of this while using his extra appendages to strangle some unfortunate desert creature he'd happened upon in the night. Poor thing, it was dead the minute the undefined limb closed around it. The only evidence of its life were the small nicks it left in his form. He didn't know what it was, or why he'd come out here to kill it, but he had. He supposed it was just his body's way of exercising his abnormal muscles.

He found their campsite, led back by the flame he'd made. He took a quick glance at his sleeping future doctor. He was nestled all adorably in the sleeping bag Black Hat brought for him. His eyes shut tight to the terror sharing his space.

He wondered, would Flug have the same reaction? Could he be trusted to keep his secret? Would the man who moaned and writhe and begged for his touch in a drunken stupor scream in horror and fear as he ran away from what Black Hat was, underneath the suit and tie and hat and bravado?

He didn't know, and he wasn't eager to find that out just yet.

As he crawled into his own sleeping bag, not bothering to change, he pondered the question he'd heard so many times before tonight.

"Are you even human?"

Perhaps not, but that wasn't something he was going to let damage him.

He was the villain who would rule the world.

He wouldn't be hurt by a query so inconsequential.

He refused.


Notes:

SO! Happy Friday the 13th! Happy Internatinal Kissing Day! Happy premiere date of the Miraculous Ladybug episdoe, Zombizou! Just so much going on today, I love it! And this was the chapter where i discovered two of my favorite things to write: drunken antics, and Black Hat POV. Because I can't resist but to write him as a huge freaking dork and I love it.

Translations:

obeah doctor = just another term for witch doctor to be honest

No no yo puedo hacerlo no = No no I can do it no

¡Ahora soy Black Hat! = Now I'm Black Hat!

¡No no no, soy Black Hat, soy el jefe ahora! = No no no, I'm Black Hat, I'm the boss now!

¡Yo digo que no! = I say no!

¡Yo soy Black Hat! ¡Impostor! ¡Hagamos de la base un sombrero gigante! ¡Quiero un sombrero gigante del mal! = I'm Black Hat! Imposter! Let's make the base a giant hat! I want a giant hat of evil!

¡Suéltame, nabo enojado! = Let go, angry turnip!

¡Ahhhh sí papí más duro! = Ahhhh yes daddy harder! (You know what PaperHat was always missing? Daddykink! [I am so sorry])

Squalo Tigre = Tiger Shark (Italian)

Il Ratto = The Rat (Italian)