First, about what was. Second, my responses. Third what may be.
What drove me to write this was the expert laying out of the world by Bethesda. Probably the supply route mechanic kicked it over. The idea that this world had a state and you could affect it was great. But then it conflicted by the typical videogame ending of "You've killed the threat so I guess we're done without any repairing.", like the U.S. in Afghanistan after the C.C.C.P. was kicked out...or Legend of Zelda, Super Mario, etc. etc.
Also, I've only played Fallout 4 and its DLC and Fallout 3 and _most_ of its DLC. I have not played Mothership Theta/Zeta whatever it is and don't forsee doing so. The same with Fallout 1, 2 & New Vegas. Well, maybe New Vegas in the far off future.
While thinking about the plot, I would often have the map of the game up or 'go visit' wherever I'm talking about at the time.
I anticipated the General doing what she did in chapter 92 as soon as I actually started thinking about how to 'win' the Gunner / Civil War, which was really when I was writing the end of setting up the government. Had the Gunners actually rushed the Minutemen, they probably could have taken more ground but would have been swept back as soon as they forced a critical mass of Minutemen into the same line. So instead the Gunners relied on what difficult minion NPCs end up doing so much in videogames - being entrenched. On the one hand, Minutemen often perform 'rescue ops' i.e. "My brother was taken by raiders / supermutants, help!" and sweep ups "These ghouls keep coming from the west." or "I know some people who would settle at X if it was safe.". On the other, Gunners were supposed to be the most intelligent non-plot foe of the game.
I actively tried not to 'make up' a character, and I usually don't for fan fiction. You're reading because you liked what was. But sometimes you don't get much to work with and you have to fill in.
By way of for example, the Triggermen are actually interested in profit more than violence and joining the Commonwealth instead of fighting the Minutemen gave them that profit. But they were quest NPCs not motivated characters. Expanding Trish from "I'm doing this deal" to "I'm a deal doer." is kind of what I'm talking about.
Cypress was nearly whole cloth and I don't think I stuck the landing. I really wanted him to be a worshipper of war. But keeping him on screen, particularly when the 'correct' move from his perspective is keeping Red-Eye on screen was difficult. And without time to develop his character, you end up with Venom from Sam Riami's Spider-man 3: something that would have worked if the rest of the piece allowed it to.
In a way, I kind of think of this as completed. The original question was "Can the General put the Commonwealth together as a functioning society?". The answer is a qualified, tenuous "Yes...but". Schools aren't built, no one's living in skyscrapers again but the entirety of the Commonwealth is 'united' or at least looks like it's unstoppably going to be. Where this could go from here, I'll talk about after my responses to reviews.
In a bit of self-promotion - My fic Shikabane Hime: Yori has more of this making difficult and arguably evil choices by way of arguably good motives. My fic Legend of Zelda: Summit of Peace has more of this 'what happens after the game ends'. Both are completed.
Absolute Configuration: Apparently my biggest fan?
Yes, I did seek to get into the nitty gritty of the logistics. It might be a bit...Michael Chriton, but some works should be. I get Gene Roddenberry's "Star Trek can never be about the ship." - meaning that the story has to be about the characters, not their world. But only through the details can the concept that building pieces strewn about an apocalypse into a functioning world is hard work.
I'm kind of surprised I didn't check out some of the amazing mods and start including them in this work at times, let alone the DLCs. But I think that the Institute / Minutemen alliance holds up as long as each believes they have the upper hand. Until the cultures change, as long as the Minutemen believe the Institute is working for them (albeit secretively) and the Institute believe they are controlling the Minutemen the situation would hold...unless something seriously damaged one or the other and changed the situation on the ground.
What happened to the companions had 'already happened' by the time the story kicks off. So they're prety much 'where I left them' without explanation. I 'know' where Strong is, but it hasn't had a real reason to be a part of the story. And when it isn't needed, I don't usually tell so it comes off as more of a surprise (like the chemist from the Operators of Nuka-World) when it's revealed that they are a concern.
I don't think the General could concieve of ghouls as an issue for unification the way someone from the Jim Crow south would certainly view it. While the General lived in an America that villified the Chinese and communism in general, it was still a 'future' America. Fallout lives in juxtaposition: optimistic propaganda on destroyed buildings, classic Americana and the 'good ole days' mashed with survival concerns. One of the first things to strike me was when the Sole Survivor leaves the house for the vault, she passes an inter-racial lesbian couple that owns the bungalo next door and the game doesn't even mention it as it's a non-issue even while raving about 'the reds' no matter how irrelevant it is at the time.
One of the biggest advantages I threw the General's way was not exterminating the Railroad. I had done so on my playthrough. Keeping Deacon as an anonymous background body that was really active in the plot was another nod to the game, necessary to fan works IMHO.
I had not played the mission that the Mayor of Diamond City reveals himself to be a synth and tries to escape the Institute only to fall to all the people he abused for them.
The Atom Cats are so very Fallout: post apoctalyptic tech junkies with a culture of 50's beatnicks.
I never thought of the Brotherhood in the Capital Wastes as a threat to the unification of the Commonwealth...really. A threat of becoming the unifying force, sure. But the Brotherhood never comes off as wanting to be the central authority even if it wants to be the biggest bully. Like it would gladly kill off any other force trying to take over but never fulfil the role of government...like a Mexican drug cartel.
Hancock actually believes what he says. That ranges from a feudal meritocracy to a hyper libertarianism depending on the topic though...just like someone in Fallout should be. He really does believe that the government should serve the people, even if he believes that that government should be someone drug fueled enough to murder anyone who challenges his authority. Juxtapose his intoduction (a summary execution for defying an edict against extortion) and later casual speech with a random settler that's scared stiff of owing Hancock a few caps and he brushes it off. He wants people's lives to be free even at the point of a laser to their head.
Too often, characters act like they can't burnout and very few fictions get around that. Those that do should be applauded - Harry Potter having school breaks be relatively safe from Voldemort shennanigans, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. having their characters suffer burnout and PSTD except for Coulson who's personal super power is being able to keep his mind together no matter what, etc. Since the audience is playing Fallout for fun, it's easy to forget that the characters are struggling constantly without a break. Having even the General take maybe 12 hours off a month seemed to do the trick.
The start of the story was 'peaceful' (ahem, cough cough) because that's where the game ended. Everyone was waiting for the other shoe to drop after a faction wins. The General was just spending that quiet time trying to get out ahead of the inevitable next conflict. Hence at the time it appeared to be 'very little war', even though the story ended up becoming mostly that.
Now you know that Danse survived. Since I found the Brotherhood to be fascists (the only thing they seemed to be interested in was their own indoctrination telling them they had the right or even responsibility to opress), I hadn't played through a lot of their missions leaving Danse as just some Brotherhood guy in the Commonwealth that didn't really have spot once the Prydwyn sank.
The super mutants came out of no where because 1)the factions end up creating the same 'balancing act' that a working ecosystem has - predators eating prey but not too many at a time to wipe them out so that there always is prey, prey eating resources but not too many to end up dying of starvation when they run out. The Minutemen were focused elsewhere, the Brotherhood dead, the Institute in a holding pattern...so no check on supermutants trying to kill everyone. 2)I needed something to catch the General unawares since she was bouncing from completing one goal to the next.
I capitalize the names of items because it reminds me of the game. It's the same reason why Link doesn't ever get quoted as saying something in my fan-fic "Summit of Peace" - that's the game. In Fallout 4, random paper is just strewn about but as soon as you can interact with it it is a FOLDER.
Alien tech in the Institute's hands...I'll let this one lie for a bit more, okay?
It's very much the General's story, so things that other factions are doing without her aren't really a part of it unless they directly interfere with what she was doing. Hence the Triggermen of Cypress' counter attack, but not say...the Forged.
Minutemen ideals are basically egalitarian socialism, everyone deserves to be part of helping one another. Settlements and Preston nearly always talk in terms of 'we' when referring to each other. A synth programmed to obey that ideal is an oxymoron and therefore the Institute couldn't possibly manufacture synths and force them to obey the ideal of mutual equality. Fallout's juxtaposiion, remember? But also, the General realizes that she could lose support in the Institute if they spent too much on the Minutemen and didn't receive equivalent in return, which a ramp up of giving away synths would be.
I don't know if the Gunners were the 'ideal' villain, but they were certainly an obviously formidable one. They were entrenched in the Commonwealth while the Minutemen were reforming. They've had longer to stockpile and more opportunity to keep their stockpiles: of men and weapons. The real key was that they had just as much potential for organization as the Minutemen and therefore couldn't be just have individual sites 'go dark' without reprisal like raider gangs or the Forged.
The Sole Survivor's stats- In my playthrough, What Made Me S.P.E.C.I.A.L. was Luck then Agility then the health regen portions of Endurance. Pistols were early weapons so I made them as deadly as possible and only spent points on other necessary things like safes, computer hacking, and swimming. I tried to have that in the story by pointing out that she couldn't really carry much (because she lacks Strength), argues by just the facts instead of Charisma, and relying on others to convey information to her (a lack of Perception). My problem was that the story doesn't work if she isn't a lawyer and a soldier (and a schemer), so how can I skip on Intelligence?
The repetition of X6-88's duties was intentional. It was to tell that they hadn't changed and the title was just a label.
I did try to soften some of the General's edges. It's too easy to made a one dimensional hard-ass. And the General _does_ doubt herself. Wouldn't you if you lost your baby and spouse, particularly when survivor's guilt kicked in? Let alone when you find your child and he's twice your age? One of the best things for doubt isn't faith or even success, it's reassurance. And Piper's dialogue shows that she is in awe of the Sole Survivor, particularly romantically.
The other representatives _represent_ other interests. Those interests have to be as much if not more than a managed detail as any other thing the General deals with.
Bridget's run past the Minutemen was just long to write for me, so I split it up. The planning of it was the most specific thing I plotted out (so far), sitting in from the screen with the map open half the time and the other in gameplay, wondering where would the terrain drive the fighting and the pursuit and allow for pass bys or breaks in the line and how many casualties... Long story short, you should be able to walk that path in an unmodded game.
If the General wasn't fighting for stakes, I'd have to personalize her a lot more, wouldn't I? Just so it was important whether she had an apple or actually ate lunch.
Appropriate invitations are the main resource the Institute lacks now that its generator makes enough electricity. The Institute can train its own, but true genius comes from a number of factors and surviving the wasteland makes for a monstrous 'necessity is the mother of invention'.
You now see why I couldn't show the General's attempt at assassinating Cypress.
My chapters tend to cover only a single idea and a single writing session. My longest chapters are in "Shikabane Hime: Yori", but that was for theme in naming the chapters.
Yeah, what has happened with Cabot's family? You don't think the General and Jack's ghoul could possibly have kept him so buried in his work that those unproductive, needy, trouble causing fools died in the meantime and promptly never thought twice about it...do you?
Remember that Bridget is a mercenary. While even Machiavelli's "The Prince" points out that she is not to be relied upon, she can be trusted to...well, fight on someone else' behalf if it benefits her to the point that she can survive on it. Bridget viewed the Gunners fighting the Minutemen as generally unsurvivable - the war would kill any possible clientelle. Now the General has her in the position that as long as the Minutemen don't fall, Bridget will have a client that will support her fighting men and women. So while the Sole Survivor can't depend on Bridget to bail out her empire, she can trust Bridget to kill on her behalf...or kill her way out of captivity and poverty if not allowed to be a mercenary.
Samace - Thanks for the kind words.
RedSnow101 - Thanks for the kind words.
A Certain Fandom's Member - I write fan-fic in single drafts, no editing. It's a mess, I know. If I was doing this for loot or a grade, I'd go over it before posting. This is a symptom of just trying to get it out of my head and onto a medium.
TMDF-Artyom - I did not 'forget' the twin gun tanks. I wasn't aware of them. In compliments to Bethesda, there was so much in Fallout 4 that I didn't notice them when playing. Once aware, I worked them in where I could.
Doragon - The General wasn't so much looking for a 'rallying cry' for justice so out of the Turing testss. She was mostly trying to allay Commonwealth concerns about the Institute. And real reform is pretty much the best way to do that. Look at say...the Democratic Party in the United States and how its alleged supporters view it as corrupt, inept, etc. and how those same people (and more) look at Bernie Sanders who's faced arrest for defending these views for the past 40-50 years. The Democrats are now playing a game of "Our opponents are worse" while dismissing Sanders and people like him, yet not understanding why their supporters are becoming even more unsupportive. On the other hand, since science is the search, scientists often focus only on their search and not the empirical obvious morality of their actions that reflect in their reputations. So to get the Institute to genuinely reform, she had to 'prove' that they should - even if she only wanted them to reform out of a desire for governmental and societal stability.
The Sole Survivor isn't _quite_ morally grey. She's adamant in that society is everyone and that must return to a state that can defend itself. But that's like nearly all philisophically based moral systems - you choose an axiomatic value like 'truth' or 'altruism' or 'adherence' or 'responsibility' and everything from then on is a comparison to that value. Like the trolley problem - someone who values responsibility doesn't pull the lever to save five people because they would be committing an immoral act to kill one, an altruistic person would because it has the greatest result. Fortunately, people are beginning to find that we can achieve evidence based morality: a state of pain is worse than the same condition and a state of non-pain, cooperation is better than conflict, etc.
I do not linger on descriptions because it is fan fiction, you are correct in that. If you didn't already know Fallout or at least 4, you wouldn't be reading.
Asking the Institute to help with the Forged is just that, and the Sole Survivor didn't want to encourage the Institute to think of the Commonwealth as a wasteful burden. Also, in game she slips in and recovers people from the Forged but they always return due to their recruitment methods. Infiltration wouldn't work, or at least as well as total occupation.
At the end of the mission that introduces Vault 114 in game, it is still in Triggermen custody. So that's why the Minutemen weren't in it. But yes, I was trying to 'attack' the General in a specifically non-military way as she had just come off those exact victories. Think of the best Arnold Schwarzennegger movies: are they when some normal guy tries to beat him up, or when he's a machine attempting to understand or on Mars wondering if his memories are real? After shooting your way through the game, the Sole Survivor's problems have to be tactical not practical...if you get my meaning.
No way was the Institute going to give control of Synth Retention to the Railroad, or vice versa. Too much bad blood, too much waste of resources even if the Institute was going to disband the branch. However, the Institute did adopt an infiltration of the Railroad pogrom as soon as it was viable.
As for the exclamation of never allowing another nuclear blast - propaganda must be simple enough for stupid people to understand and repeated enough for intelligent people to stop contradicting it, and one of the first things propaganda needs to do is blame your enemies for your worst actions. With societal singularity as the goal, every other sovereign anything is an enemy...so they must be to blame for anything you wouldn't want people to know you're doing.
Preston has been a Minuteman until he was the last Minuteman. Even Shaw didn't stay in the force as long as he did. Garvey has backbone enough, IMHO.
Zarroc789 - If I change the characters, it's not worthwhile _fanfiction_ now is it? Like stories in the Teen Titans section where they aren't superheroes, don't have powers and are attending school with none of their forming events having happened to them: How is that Teen Titans? While a media switch, like from game to written form- if they stopped being a cartoon smashing bad guys and turned into a videogame, they'd still be about being teenage superheroes, right?
And everybody hates what the world has forced Marcy to become.
Shamwoohoo52 - I end up writing just to get ideas out of my head. I even have trouble writing once I 'know' the ending. But everyone wants to be...justified?
Kajeera - Deacon is rarely expected, even though he's regularly seen before he's introduced. Otherwise, the Lone Survivor really doesn't know the state of the new world. That helps the player immensely - what's new to her is new to us. But she does need a knowledge source and most libraries have been nuked in the Great War.
Patrollin'TheMojave - Thanks for the kind words.
Moonlight the Assassin - From the very limited sample size I've played, Fallouts tend to end with "and then the threat of these guys are over" with no real _fix_. Remember how Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time went "You stopped Ganon - The End."? You'd think a game with such a crafting system and intentional DLC would try for something after the 'bad guys' are shot. Particularly since it meets Achievers, Explorers, and Socializers (when you consider the modders and mod chasers) needs [on youtube Bartle's Taxonomy - What Type of Player are You? - Extra Credits).
Fuze - The difference between an armored personnel carrier, an infantry fighting vehicle, a mobile artillery vehicle, and a tank are too actually military for me to remember. I called them APCs because they have room in the back for a bunch of guys.
me - The operational submarine in Far Harbor was considered.
ro - Huh. Let me attempt a response. Just 'having a bunch of stuff made' would be the same 'magical improvement of the wasteland' that other stories try to skip over. It would lose its...not edge...grit? charm? If achieving tactical advantages didn't take time _and_ opportunity costs because of it (the General can get either A or B done in the next week but not both). Think of Firefly - would it have been what it's hailed for if the crew ever got really paid well and just vacationed for a couple episodes?
liberty prime - I considered using those rocket engines for chapter 92. But how to get them away from the robots determined to use them to get to the sea and attack a Chinese target...which they would then identify the Yangtze as if they were successful? And quietly as well?
general - I don't see how the Institute benefits from coming to the surface before testing an alien replica vehicle becomes viable. That's all I could really parse.
Guest(1) - I hope the reasoning behind whether DiMa was 'kept' dead or not and when is to your satisfaction.
My Readers Digest - I believe my save file with no mods and DLC is 27+ days of gameplay.
I also really liked how the negotiations with the Triggermen hyped up the negotiations with the Gunners.
I don't tackle "everything". Just like the General lamenting how she can't get a school up and running, I leave things unattended. The U.S.S. Constitution never made its way into relevance, the ghoul family after freeing their child from a refrigerator (with no food for 200 years but whatevers), the dog selling supermutant, protecting the Hubologists at Nuka-World from the Gunners...the ball was dropped many times.
Let me talk about the "fly on the Brotherhood's wall" in a moment.
PartyPat22 - My editing is non-existent.
Telling the Institue about Acadia could have brought the entire thing tumbling down. If the Institute had blown up at the General as her knowledge predates defeating the Brotherhood of Steel (and possibly being an Institute member), it would be perfectly understandable. I believe the game offers you the opportunity to sell out Acadia to the Institute. So pushing it in the General's favor and hiding it with the mental breakdown of the synth could look clumsy.
The Preston romance...youtube Jimquisition Fallout 4's S.P.E.C.I.A.L Relationships (with the requisite warnings). The Sole Survivor is polyamorous in the game and is one of the very few definite character traits of the character. But with the character having married, I felt it needed showing but addressing as well. So while it pigeonholes the character, it also personalizes the character? Degeneralizes her? By giving her a personal perspective on it. You get what I'm trying to say.
As to what's up in the Capital Wastes...allow me to address that in a moment.
Tuckerdoo - Revolutionaries tend to be expert guerilla fighters and terrible govenors. This is why the U.S.' Founding Fathers are referred to as such despite their slave holding, bickering, Aaron Burr's corruption, etc.: they actually managed both. The General's attempt to put society back on course is not only 'killing the disruptive parts' but judging how all the pieces fit. You see how if the Triggermen were kept in a state that could militarily defeat the Minutemen then it would be something she'd have to cope with.
And everybody hates Red-Eye, the character was expertly designed to be hatable. He isn't honest, honorable, talented or any quality you can really respect in a person despite being such a jerk.
Guest(2) - Hidden tyrant? I don't think she's ever hidden the amount of control she wants no matter hiding how she's going about getting it. But like Putin, she has an approval rating well over four out of five people. It's hard to call that 'tyranny'. Yet.
Guest(3) - Hopefully not.
darkpaladin89 - The story rests on appearing plausible given the game.
I don't think the nuking of Gunner Plaza could have been anticipated...unless you suspected there was a reason that the General stated the obvious in her declaration against nuclear weapons. Chekov's threat as it were.
Of all the solutions to Bridget and her people's existence, marine corps the least disruptive one to the Commonwealth. Remember that the Warring States period of Japan was followed by a generation of 10% of the population being unemployed soldiers. Experienced veterans with no other skills and no support doesn't make for stable, peaceful times.
"almost ready to bet on another plot twist" isn't really, is it?
And the point was to paint the Brotherhood into a corner in the public eye.
How could she possibly be found out? (I mean, I know of at least one way but...) As for the alien threat - I wouldn't want to be the person that announces 'Aliens are real' and follow it up with 'And we can't do jack nothing'. So unless forced into a corner, when at least a prototype of Cabot's work is ready.
scotsoe - The Constitution probably missed its window of relevance...but I don't know.
Guest(3)- The game actually has way more in its script than a novel.
And yes, I do believe people chasing down Fallout fanfiction online know about Fallout, and maybe even googled it before landing here. Every fiction assumes some commonality with concepts the reader's already faced: like how vampire stories explain their rules but don't have to explain that monsters exist and humanity's written about them or how The Walking Dead don't ever say 'zombie'.
R - Thanks for the kind words.
Ronin Kenshin - Thank you for the kind words.
Paladin Tyler - Not only have I yet to play New Vegas (or watch it), 2000 miles in Fallout's world is tremendous. Then add in trust, particularly between the Institute and outsiders: legacy can only go so far.
Xiard Vron - I totally get it. We all have our spot on the Kenseyian scale. But I too won't change my opinion of what FOX is doing with the X-Men franchise when they finally introduce Alpha Flight and therefore Northstar or Destiny to Mystique.
DragonsBC - "how is the 'General' protecting the depot of bombs hidden in the Glowing Sea?" LOL. I thought somebody had figured me out with that one.
I don't think you missed anything when DiMa was brought back a second time. The General's instruction to do so was passed over the table in a council meeting to Faraday (for him to do) in preparation for bringing the Institute to Acadia.
Paladin Bailey - "Well it's clearly not the Brotherhood"? Clearly?
But _should_ be executed by firing squad for their crimes...This implies that motives are irrelevent, authority too.
mistbornlax - Opportunity cost. When someone in Star Trek was asked about ship yards not being replicators - ~"If you could just replicate ships, you wouldn't have to."
Nuclear weapons destroy ecosystems that are DNA based. For nigh ever. You can walk through Hiroshima or Nagasaki _now_. I don't know if you can do the same at Bikini Attol. Also, we're still a single planet species in Fallout 4. Nukes are still serious even with videogame leniency.
Messenger777 - Let's assume you aren't a poe. Because it gives me the opportunity to address the religious subject in Fallout.
The Children of the Atom appear to worship power out of fear and hate fear so much they put on a facade. The Hubologists appear much more sincere in their faith since they don't have the immunities to radiation present in the Children of Atom community yet 'cleanse' themselves anyway and actually have an alien weapon. Even with their obvious parody of Scientology. The General's biggest problem is with a potential 'pope' situation. What happens when your citizens consider themselves religiously subservient to another sovereign? JFK defended it with the U.S.A.'s separation of church and state. Plenty of other Americans have struggled against that very separation in their desire to inflict their religion on others.
Since religion doesn't affect anything real and therefore what the General is trying to accomplish, she doesn't rock the boat away from religious freedom. On the other hand, Tektus was real close to becoming the pope problem.
Mandor - Feeling that you should lash out and particularly on bad actors happens. Actually doing so...especially when it would cost you not only in resources spent but in resources not gained? The General wouldn't have trusted Cypress - he's way too smart. Bridget's run may have been the biggest thing she's done in her life.
ThatGalladeAcrossTheStreet - That's kind of what I was going for.
Dinonut - More than DragonsBC?
dudedorey - I was thinking that this is kind of _a_ conclusion. The premise is whether or not the General could make the Commonwealth into something. There is a large element of "She did and this is what it cost her.". But I'll 'talk' about where this goes now.
AtomicGeneral25 - Discussion to come.
Guest(4) - You're not the first to say.
Guest(5) - Never assume an author's view matches a characters. The General was expressly attempting to secure power for herself and the subsequent government while not upsetting the people she needed to accept her rule. Claiming that this is _my_ view is as silly as claiming that the authors of Godzilla felt that Japanese buildings were best toppled or that James Cameron made Alien because he felt people were delicious.
Where we go from here.
At this point, the General is less suited to being the protagonist of a story. She's shown irreversably that she's willing to not stand by ideals or morals in search of a goal, which is the role of the villain. Hence, a change in protagonist seems to be in order - or at least to me.
Therefore, if this story were to continue, it would be the story of the Lone Wanderer attempting to defend the Capital Wastes from the invading warlord 'the General'. First, that's about where the plot left off with the Sole Survivor having minor concerns and full self-authorization and potential full support of the Commonwealth to take over the Capital Wastes 'from' the Brotherhood of Steel. Second, the Sole Survivor would not be a "I'm here to kill everything because that's what I do" villain, she'd be willing to negotiate & scheme & make herself appear right or kind or whatever it takes. A great villain isn't afraid to act or even be morally correct...should it meet their aims.
But from a different character's perspective, you see how this same story could take on an entirely different tone.
So if you feel that the story is done, let me know. If you want to see the continuation of the General's march to unify humanity enough to ensure a defense against aliens, let me know that as well.
