I'm on the way.
Ok. See you soon
Flug went back to watching his show, only half-focused on what was happening on his TV screen. He hadn't watched The Devil is a Part-Timer in a while, it seemed like a good choice when he found himself with a few hours to kill. It struck him as weird to watch what was essentially erotica right before he was going on a stakeout/date with his boss/boyfriend(?). Wherein Black Hat would kidnap someone, whomst Flug would then kill. Obviously, he should be watching anime before that. He still thought the show would be better if it kept with the whole "I will climb the corporate ladder of business and work my way to world domination!" thing Satan had going on. Because everything about that sentence was hilarious and it was a shame that the show chose instead to focus on this ridiculous forced love triangle deal between the hero Emilia, Maou (a.k.a. Satan), and the girl he worked with at MgRonalds (honestly one of the better names he's seen, but not as good as Code Geass having actual Pizza Hut). He did not care for forced romance subplots and he cared for them even less when it was between two teenage girls and Satan. Ladies, ladies, he's Satan. No matter how lovably goofy he is, it's Satan. And he's over 300 years old in this continuity if Wiki is to be trusted!
Then again, who was Flug to talk? He was kind of sort of maybe dating (or at least hooking up with) a supervillain who was older than him. Exactly how much older he wasn't even sure. They should probably talk about that. God that was going to be uncomfortable. How would he even approach that topic with Black Hat? Hey, so we got that birthday party to go to in a few months. It's in April, right? My birthday is in June, when's yours? How old are you going to be? Eh, surely it wouldn't be too odd to ask that, if he could manage to steer the conversation in that direction.
Flug would probably be able to finish this episode, maybe one more before Black Hat got here. For their "date night". Of murder.
He was wrong, he only got halfway through the next episode before Black Hat texted him I'm here. Flug turned his TV off just as Satan's right-hand man infiltrated the Sentucky Fried Chicken. The mere fact that those words formed a coherent sentence was enough to put a smile on Flug's face. C'mon, why would you show anything else but these idiots and the hero trying to thwart them?
His smile faltered a bit as he made his way down and out of his apartment building, clearly seeing Black Hat's car out front. Stopped right in the middle of the street. Well, Flug supposed they did have a schedule to keep tonight. Might as well get to it. He marched his way to the intimidating black vehicle and got in.
"Hi." He said, already sounding out of breath.
"Hello. Are you ready for our second date?" Ok so this was their second date? Maybe Black Hat was just messing with him, he was smiling pretty wide. Flug probably shouldn't take Black Hat too seriously when he said things like that. He probably meant it as a kind of inside joke.
"Oh yeah, totally. I'm so ready. I had, uh, had a little trouble deciding what to wear, though. Black felt a-appropriate."
"And all you had was a NASA hoodie?"
"I have a t-shirt under. It's also black." It may also have some constellations on it but that wasn't really important.
"It won't really matter, but it's kind of nice that we color match for once."
"Y-Yeah," Flug hadn't even thought about that. Black Hat wore basically the same colors, if not the exact same outfit everyday. Flug supposed his wardrobe was pretty uniform as well, he had lots of blues from t-shirts and jeans. He currently had on his darkest blue jeans and a black t-shirt under a black hoodie with NASA across it in red. He at least looked...casual. It won't matter, no one was supposed to see him tonight besides Black Hat.
"You brought the rubber gloves, right?"
"Yes, right here." Flug pulled them out of his hoodie.
"Excellent."
"Yeah, mmmm hmmm." Oh God imagine if he'd forgotten them. How embarrassing that would be! "S-So, this guy lives far?"
"A few cities over. We shouldn't really start locally."
"Good to know."
"Yep."
A few beats of silence passed as they got on the freeway, because apparently even Black Hat had nothing to add to that.
"Is that part of the whole 'not forming a pattern' thing?"
"Yes. As I've said, choosing a victim at random leaves less of a trail to follow. Any investigation into their disappearance will begin with people who knew them and had some sort of motive, if foul play is even considered."
"Oh, yeah, who's to say they'll jump straight t-to murder?"
"Exactly," Black Hat didn't take his eye off the road. "There will be no evidence, as you will be killing him in a different location and I won't be leaving any signs of forced entry or a struggle. So the most that can be done, really, is filing a missing person report."
"And we just don't exist as far as anyone else is concerned."
"Yeah, see, you're getting it."
"A-Am I really?"
"Yes," Black Hat put a hand on his shoulder and gave him a squeeze. "Relax, my Pet. We will be careful, everything will be fine."
"Right." Flug nodded. Yeah, Black Hat knew what he was doing. He knew how this went. He's probably been doing this for years, he knows the drill. Flug was just...along for the ride. He didn't really have to do anything until later on. His contribution would be made in the safety of their soundproofed murder-dungeon. No one would hear, and there wouldn't be anyone to hear regardless. And death by electrocution surely wouldn't leave too much evidence. There shouldn't be any huge pools of blood to clean up or any body parts to dispose of. Just the one body. Black Hat probably had a plan for what to do with it. He'll know what to do. Everything was going to be fine. Go get the guy, bring him back to their kill-room, kill him, nothing to it.
They drove in silence the rest of the way, the radio turned down low. Sometimes it would be something Flug recognized, and he followed along quietly tapping a finger or mumbling along with the melody. The rest of the time he stared out the window, watching the other cars get left in their dust. Black Hat never seemed to like adhering to the speed limit if he could help it, thank God no one was trying to get in his way. Flug really didn't need a repeat of Black Hat's indiscriminate road rage while he was trying to stay calm and find some method of madness that would work for him. He wanted to be able to do this without help. He wanted to be the person Black Hat believed he was, the mad scientist who would build the armada to conquer the world.
It was just a matter of figuring out how he; uncoordinated, socially awkward, mess of a human that he was, could become that person. Because the mental images he came up with could not be the same man in his mind. He didn't want Black Hat to have to hold his hand the entire time. Otherwise, how could he call himself a villain?
They finally came to what seemed a quiet neighborhood, not run down or decrepit or anything, just a totally normal place. There was a large tree down the street Black Hat turned onto, maybe a willow or something judging by the way the leaves draped down and gently swayed in the breeze. Flug was about 70% sure that was what a willow tree looked like. Black Hat parked under it, giving Flug the feeling that they were literally hiding in the shadows, lying in wait for their victim.
So maybe the black hoodie had been a good choice after all.
It seemed a little stupid to ask if this was the place, because why the hell else would they be here? So Flug opted for less obvious filler dialogue and asked, "So, wh-which house is his?"
"You see that blue one two houses down?" He pointed down the street behind them.
Flug craned his neck. "The one with the lawn flamingos?"
"That's the one."
"Ok." At least Flug knew which house they were staking out. He could kind of see it in the rearview mirror, in between the hanging leaves. "So we're w-waiting for him to come out?"
"Not quite. He works late hours and takes the bus. It's not very consistent at this time of night, so he could show up at any time within the next hour or so. Maybe even later if he went out. But he always comes from the same bus stop, and he always walks right past here. When we see him, I'll get out and shoot him before he has a chance to run or scream. We're waiting for him to come to us."
"Oh, ok. So w-we just sit here and wait?"
"Yep." Black Hat sighed. He went and turned the car off. They were going to be here a while, no need to waste gas. "It's not very exciting, you sure you wouldn't rather wait in the kill-room with a book or something?"
"Yes. I already signed the contract and all. I agreed I was going to be a part of this. I might as well expand my criminal skill set."
"Alright, I can appreciate that. Wanna hand me the rubber gloves now? We don't want to waste time when he shows up."
"Yeah, of course. Here you go."
"Thank you. And now, we wait."
So, just sit and wait. For upwards of an hour. Flug flitted his gaze around, scoping out the neighborhood. For no particular reason, apparently, since the target wasn't even around here. He was just heading here. And would arrive in an unspecified amount of time, due to late work hours and unreliable public transit. Oh, and some sort of social life. Not that Flug had one.
It occurred to Flug that the previous snarky statement may not be true anymore. He'd gone out multiple times these past few months. Probably more than any other point in his life. Going out for coffee with Black Hat, going out to the middle of nowhere and getting crunk with Black Hat, going to a party at Aurelio Cruz's house (also with Black Hat), going out to eat with Tesoro and his other club members, going out with them and others on New Years. There was also the time he and Black Hat got pancakes, and all the times he'd tagged along to pick out a location for their kill-room. Can't forget the time he went to Demetra's house with Black Hat and the madman bought a fucking black mamba hybrid snake because it was incredibly dangerous and only maybe semi-tamed by said equally mad woman. Or how about just yesterday when the three of them sat around eating tiramisu, as...normal people do?
Had Rocinante Flugslys actually gotten himself a life?
Well, that was quite the realization. He may not be the hermit he always thought of himself as anymore. Had he really changed so much that he actually had friends? Was Demetra his friend? Was Tesoro? Were Hector and Miguel and Donny and Carlos and Cynthia his friends? Was Black Hat his friend?
Ok, Flug clearly could not just sit here quietly. It was too fucking quiet and he was thinking far too much.
"Soooo..." Flug ventured. "Did you see the latest Star Wars?"
"No."
"Me neither." He sunk into the car seat a bit. So much for trying to jump start a conversation.
"Sorry," Black Hat said. "I'm not really much of a Star Wars fan."
"I-I'm actually more of a Star Trek guy myself, heh heh."
"You watch Star Trek?"
"Mostly the more recent movies, the ones with Chris Pine."
"Oh, yeah, I saw the first one. It was pretty good."
"Mmm hmm." Well, that was a colossal failure. He tried again, something a bit more relevant. "Hey, so um, if s-someone asks what we're doing when we're out doing...this, we say we were having a d-date night, right? That's our cover story?"
"Yep"
"What do we say about our s-storage room?"
"Well, seeing as someone is going around telling people I'm trying to shove dragon dildos up their ass," Black Hat said this strangely nonchalantly. "I suppose we could say it's our calabouço sexual. Just needs a little refurbishing."
Ok so there was a lot to unpack there. Flug just kind of sat in the passenger seat, stunned for a few seconds before managing to get his voice back. "I-I'm sorry, all I understood was 'sexual' an-"
"You're smart, you can piece together what it means."
Maybe so, but Flug wasn't sure his sanity could handle that. It was hanging on by a thread as it was. "Did sh-she actually s-s-say-"
"Yes she did."
"¿Oh Dios por qué?" He slipped his glasses off so he could facepalm properly. He certainly picked the wrong person to confide in. "I did not tell her that, just to be clear."
"Yeah, I know." Black Hat sighed. "That woman...why on earth did you talk to her of all people?"
"It's n-not like I can actually ta-talk about any of this. I had to lie and say it was...'couple stuff'..." Flug moved his hand away and put his glasses back on. "And I don't know anyone else you talk to, so...I didn't know who else to turn to."
"Next time, can you just talk to me? To save time if nothing else?"
"Ok..." I'll try, Flug thought.
They sat in silence another few minutes, Flug too meek to try and start any sort of conversation a third time. He straightened up in his seat, stretching a little. This was going to be a long night. At least he would be comfortable in his hoodie, and would keep warm. It was so dark outside. Not a single light on in any of the houses as far as he could tell. Only a few porch lights were on, somehow making the scenery even eerier than it would be if none of them were.
"What's your favorite color?"
"...What?"
"What's your favorite color?" Black Hat repeated.
"Uhhh, blue, I guess."
"Oh, ok." They both sat in silence again. "Mine's red."
"Uh huh," I thought so since you don't seem to own any other color shirt.
"...What's your favorite animal?"
"I don't know, I mean, I like birds, but not like any kind specifically. I like cats better than dogs, but I don't know if I'd say their my favorite. Uh, bears are neat. I like bears."
"You like bears?" Black Hat kind of chuckled.
"Um, yeah. They can run as fast as cars, and they're freaking huge."
"Tell me about it."
"So, yeah, I guess bears are my favorite."
"Good to know." Black Hat quietly chuckled again.
Flug laughed a little too, unsure of what was so funny. Did Black Hat think it was silly? Well, so what? Bears are big fluffy killing machines, shouldn't he be all over that? Or did he only like the scalies? Or, or was he thinking about "bears" like the whole gay subculture thing...
Flug laughed a little harder and slapped Black Hat's arm. "Get your mind out of the gutter!" Oh. That was kind of hard, wasn't it? Come on, Black Hat could handle Flug's wimpy slaps, not like he could actually hurt him or anything. Besides, he was just playing around. Like Black Hat was. Probably.
Oh fuck he wasn't saying anything. Why wasn't he saying anything? Had Flug used too much of his meager strength? Should he apologize? Should Black Hat? He was just laughing, at something he hadn't even said out loud. He may not have even been thinking of anything sexual like Flug thought.
And now it was too fucking quiet again. God why had he done that? He wasn't even thinking, it just burst out of his mouth! It wasn't like him to act so rashly. Maybe he shouldn't have done that. Oh Jesus it's too quiet. One of them had to say something or else Flug would just work himself up into a panic attack again.
He cleared his throat. "Hey, B-Black Hat? What's your favorite animal?"
"Hmmm...I think I'd have to go with snakes."
"Oh, yeah?"
"Yeah, I like snakes."
"Would you say the, uh, the black mamba is your favorite snake?"
"Maybe." Black Hat smiled a little. "I told you Lil' Jack is starting to get darker, right?"
"I think so."
"You really should see her sometime, my phone camera doesn't do her justice."
"S-Sure, ok." What exactly am I agreeing to?
The silence was less stifling after that. Black Hat didn't let it sit for long. "You know, come to think of it, I knew a guy with kind of a snake motif back in Italy."
"He was a snake hybrid?"
"No, he was one of those costumed villains." Black Hat rolled his eye a little, like it had been a phase he was slightly embarrassed by. "His outfit and name, they were sort of snake-themed. He wasn't a hybrid, or if he was it didn't show in the usual ways." Ooh, well, that was interesting. Hybrids were usually pretty obvious; having fur, scales, wings, tails, slit pupils, or other immediately noticeable traits that gave away their lineage. And they weren't like shapeshifters or Were's, who could change form. If it was questionable, then he must look mostly normal. Flug wondered what this guy might be like. Maybe he could look him up? "Honestly he was kind of weird, and did not shower nearly as much as he should've when he insisted on wearing green spandex. But goddamn was he flexible."
Oh.
OH.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH.
So that's what he meant by "he knew a guy".
He knew a flexible guy in green spandex huh? Like...a bodysuit? Those skin tight things that leave nothing to the imagination? With a snake get-up? He knew a guy who wore something like that? In Italy, he said?
Flug honestly didn't know if he wanted to hear more about this or not. On the one hand, he didn't want to be reminded of now sexually incompetant he was bound to be. On the other, BLACK HAT KNEW A FLEXIBLE ITALIAN GUY IN SNAKE-THEMED (possibly) SKINTIGHT SPANDEX?! Black Hat, sir, if you have a story to tell, Flug wouldn't object. Especially not if Black Hat would actually talk about himself and this serpentine supervillain. THAT was one of his past...partners?
Ok so obviously they'd been...close...but just how close were we talking here? Was it just a physical thing or had Black Hat and he actually, like, dated? As in seriously dated? Had it been a relationship like...this one?
"An-And what was the de-d-deal with him?" Oh God this was embarrassing to ask. Was this even any of his business? Should he really be asking his boss about his past relationships? "Were you two...partners?"
Black Hat hummed. "Mmmm, not really. We didn't work together very well. He wasn't big on killing people. He could do it, if he needed to, but he tried not to if he could help it, you know?" Flug nodded mutely, hoping Black Hat would keep talking. "We never did anything like this. Or anything out in public, come to think of it. He was terrible at keeping a low profile, and he had no regard for personal space." Unlike you, Sr. Black Hat sir, clearly. "We 'lived' together for a short time," Black Hat actually did the little air quotes with his fingers. "But it wasn't all that serious between us. He was what you would call a...a good time guy."
Ah, Flug thought. So he was a slut.
"I moved out after going under the Rat's wing, and we just kind of stopped getting together. We ran into each other every now and again, but that was about it. He led a very active life, pretty much just to spite every doctor that ever looked at him. But, that was years ago. Wonder what he's up to now."
"Could I get his n-n-name?"
"Giorno." Not quite what Flug meant but ok. Maybe that could be helpful if this guy was ever caught and unmasked. Why did Black Hat keep being on first-name basis' with people when he couldn't even get Flug's right? And why were the names all so normal!? Tom, Giorno, Alberto, Jesús, José, fucking Mimi, Flug vaguely remembered Dr. Morte being referred to as "Mortimer", which was the closest to being weird but it was an old name and he was an old man so it kind of fit. Next thing you know Black Hat was going to introduce him to some ruthless gang leader, whose name was going to be Phil or something. Or a femme fatale assassin, named Judy.
"Have you done this with other people before?" Flug asked, wanting to keep the conversation going. And maybe hear a bit more about Black Hat, and the people he knew.
"Yeah, sure, loads of times. I told you about Alberto, didn't I?"
"He worked for you, right?"
"That's right. Me and him did this fairly often."
"Did you and him do other s-s-stuff like we do?"
Black Hat paused, but he didn't flinch from the question. "No. I didn't have any sort of personal relationship with Alberto."
Flug dared to ask, "W-Why not?"
Black Hat shrugged. "He wasn't my type. Nothing ever happened between us. I'm not even sure if he was interested in men."
"Oh, ok." Well, fair enough. Not like being attracted to everyone meant he was attracted to everyone. But this still begged the question, what exactly was Black Hat's type? What could Flug have in common with this Giorno person, who was too pushy for Black Hat and wore spandex like someone from the 80's?
How many years ago did Black Hat say it was that he knew him?
"Flug, this isn't...usual, for me." Black Hat said, bringing Flug back out of his thoughts. "I'm not going to say I've never gotten involved with people I work with, but I don't try and make a habit of it."
"Just, ah, just kinda ha-happens, sometimes?"
"Yeah, sometimes you spend a lot of time with someone and...things just happen."
Well alright. Black Hat had certainly given him something to think about. Both about villainy and himself. So, there were villains who weren't 100% down to indescriminately murder innocent people? Flug wasn't any kind of outlier in that regard? Huh. He'd just kind of assumed, since so many bystanders got caught up in the destruction (especially that of costumed villains), it was just how things were. He figured he was just supposed to be on board with this, especially since Black Hat had no qualms about going out and getting whoever seemed viable. Sure, Flug guessed he could live with collateral damage, sometimes things just can't be helped, but he still couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't choke when it came time to properly test the Stun Gun. He did feel a little better knowing that there were other villains out there, who Black Hat got along with, that didn't just go out and kill people for the hell of it. It was nice to know that was an option.
He did still feel expected to go through with the killing, though. If not tonight, then the next time. Oh God, what would next time be? Guess it was up to Flug, unless Black Hat had a request. He was pretty sure Black Hat expected Flug to kill for him at some point. He believed him to be capable of it, that much was clear. And maybe a little appreciated. He had a very supportive partner in crime. It was strange, how supportive Black hat could be. Maybe Flug just wasn't used to being encouraged to do wrong. But hey, it wasn't like a villain was going to discourage criminal activity. And Black Hat had been doing this...however long he'd been doing this. He said his first kill had been when he was young, younger than Flug. And he was probably well aware that Flug had only been 18. So Black Hat was practically guaranteed to have been a teenager.
"Um, Black Hat?"
"Yes?"
"Wo-Would you mind telling me about your, uh, your first k-kill?"
Black Hat seemed to perk up a bit. "Oh no, not at all. Let's see, I was about...maybe, 16. I was breaking into this woman's house, I was still pretty small time back then. I actually hadn't planned on killing her. She wasn't supposed to be there that night. The worst I had intended to do was rob her, believe it or not."
"S-So, uh, how'd you end up d-doing it?"
Black Hat raised a gloved hand and flexed his fingers menacingly. "My bare hands." He smiled wide. "I didn't have any sort of weapon on me. She caught me by surprise, there was no time to grab anything. I barely had enough time to make a run for it before people came to investigate the screams. But I suppose that was more on me. I wasn't prepared and I...made a mess of things."
"Was it s-sloppy?" Flug laughed nervously.
Black Hat, surprisingly, laughed right along with him. "Yes, it was very sloppily done. If it hadn't been in her house, they probably wouldn't have been able to identify her." Ha ha, ha ha, haaaaaaaa what the fuck? "Wait, actually, I might've been 15. Or I had just turned 16. Whatever, I was around that age."
"Oh. Neat." So this guy, who Flug signed a lifetime commitment soul contract with, has been murdering people since his teen years. OK! Flug guessed that explained how he could be so nonchalant about these things. Now he just had to ask And what age are you now? C'mon, it's right there, just ask him. How much older can he really be if he sees Flug as a potential...partner? Bedmate? Boyfriend?
"You know, I look back fondly on it, but I honestly don't remember all too much of how exactly I did it."
"Huh?"
"I mean..." Black Hat fiddled with his monocle. "It all happened so fast. All in all, I don't think it took longer than a few minutes for her to die, but it happened in a haze of panic and impulse. All I knew for sure was that she was there, which meant I'd messed up, and that was unacceptable. There was no thought, just...instinct."
"Y-You said you had to pr-protect yourself."
"Yes, just like you. I couldn't let myself be caught. I needed to silence her, and I needed to get out of there. I'm not going to say something as trite as 'I didn't have a choice'. Even if it was a split second decision, I made my choice. If not then, I made it once I accepted the fact that I didn't feel bad about what I'd done." Black Hat rested his hand on the gear shift. "I'd always kind of known I'd have to do it eventually, but it was still difficult to come to terms with. Especially...how it made me feel."
Flug wasn't making eye contact, heck he wasn't even looking at him, but he had reached over and placed his hand over Black Hats. Not holding it, no, not quite. But it was...contact. Kind of. Maybe it didn't count since Black Hat had gloves on. Either way, he was (hopefully) offering some kind of comfort or solace or whatever it was he should be giving Black Hat here. God, Flug didn't know what to say in response to any of that. He'd been 16? Maybe? And he'd done such a number on her she was unrecognizable? At that age? On his first try? When he hadn't even been trying? He hadn't even been trying to kill anyone, things just went wrong and he had to deal with it. It reminded Flug not of his first bloodbath, but his second. When he had to kill the five officers investigating the crash. If he had committed a crime of passion before, then what followed was nothing short of cold, calculated murder. It had been entirely a choice, no other motive than necessity. Either he did this, or...he didn't even want to think of all that could've happened otherwise.
Could he make the same choice here? Without rage? Without that sense of urgency, without the fear of consequences, without it being a necessity?
"You know what that's like, don't you?" Black Hat's question made Flug turn and face him. "It's supposed to be bad, but it doesn't feel bad."
Yes, I do know that feeling. Flug gulped. "Black Hat?"
"Hmmm?"
"Is it ok if I can only kill people who hurt me?"
"Flug I have no problem with who you kill, so long as you're smart about it. That's really my only concern when it comes to these things."
"No, I mean..." Flug tried to come up with the words to express what he meant. "What if, what if I f-f-freeze up and can't go through with this? Ever? I-I want to b-b-b-be able to be this, this, this mad scientist w-who'll kill however many people it takes to get the doomsday device perfect-"
"I want that too."
"-Y-Yeah and, and I even thought a-about testing the Stun Gun and ElecTrap on people before I presented them, be-before they were deadly. And i-it wasn't hard, just needed m-m-more power and a lil' rewiring. I made something that will definitely kill someone. I-I'm going to kill someone in, what, the next hour? B-B-Bu-But, but, but what if I can't? Are you, are you gonna fire me?"
"Whoa, let's not go there." Black Hat shifted and faced Flug more fully. "I didn't go through the trouble of taking your soul to let you go that easily."
"Heh, okay. M-Makes sense."
"And, about our victim..." Black Hat's face scrunched up as he tried to figure out what it was he wanted to say. "Can you just...try before you decide you can't do it? Because for all your hesitation, you still haven't even made an attempt. I get that these are a bit different circumstances, but I'm telling you it's all the same once you're doing it."
"But I've ne-never done this." Flug argued. "This isn't even just killing, it's t-torture too."
"Weren't you telling me just earlier this week about how much you want to make Aurelio suffer? Were you not talking about torture?"
"N-No, I, I was, but-"
"Well then? I told you this was basically practice. I'm not expecting you to be an expert torturer right this second. It's a test run, Flug. For both the Stun Gun and for you. That's why we're going to do this in a place we prepared beforehand."
"Yeah but-"
"But nothing, ok? Whatever happens, we're gonna be fine. I promise. No one is going to find out about this. We won't even be getting rid of the body ourselves, I'll call-"
Flug snatched Black Hat's hand and held it tight, effectively shutting him up. He whispered in a strained voice. "P-Please let me speak."
Black Hat looked at their hands for a few seconds before looking back to Flug's face and nodding. "Go ahead."
Flug took a deep breath and tried to get his thoughts in order. "I-I know it's gonna be fine. I know you know how to do this and I know that if I can't kill him, you can. I know no one's gonna find out and I know we did everything to make sure of it. So w-whatever happens, it's gonna be fine. That's, that's kind of the problem. It's fine but...but i-it's murder. There's nothing fine about it. There shouldn't be but...and..." Oh God he was just going to spill everything in a barely coherent mess of words, wasn't he? "And...I don't know how to do this when it's f-fine. It's always been something I have to hide, be-because if anyone knew..."
"Flug, are you still talking about killing people? Or is it something else?"
"Ha, you know, I'm not even sure anymore. It's all j-jumbled together."
"Well, our guy's not here yet." Black Hat said. "And...I am. Here, I mean. If you want to keep talking."
Flug let go of Black Hat's hand. He stared out into the world, hoping it would be easier to talk if he didn't fully acknowledge who he was talking to. "Gabriel, and Aurelio...that was personal. I did those things because I couldn't stand having to put up with their bullshit anymore. The people who were investigating the crash, that was...necessary. If people knew the truth...my life would basically be over. I'd probably go to prison, huh? Or so-some kind of psyche ward? Do you think I'd survive those places?"
"Well...did you think you'd survive that crash?"
"Honestly? No." He had kind of expected to die. Even after surviving the initial crash, he figured the smoke inhalation would probably get to him before any sort of medical rescue. He was very surprised to wake up in that hospital bed.
"Well, you did. So...you never know."
Flug had to laugh again. It sounded like Black Hat was trying very hard not to say Yeah you'd probably be a prison bitch, but hey, maybe not. Flug kept talking. "So, I guess the problem is you made this too safe and impersonal. Nothing's really on the line and I don't even know the guy. There's no real reason for me to kill him, so...I don't know if I'll be able to."
"So the problem is...you don't know your motivation?"
"I guess you could say that." It honestly felt more like he couldn't justify it to himself, so he faltered. It wasn't so much the moral or legal ramifications, it was what was in his own head. Everything he'd been taught conflicting with his own personal alignment. Which apparently went something like, I won't kill you if you don't give me reason.
"Alright then...uhhh..." Black Hat scratched the back of his head. Through his gloves? Would it be more accurate to say he rubbed the back of his head? He murmured things to himself, which were either in different languages or he was annunciating so little Flug couldn't make it out. He rubbed at the spot between his eyes, and seemed to be resisting the urge to groan out loud. "We are doing a bad thing. There isn't any way to justify this morally, or ethically, or any other way you want to try. But that doesn't mean we aren't doing this for a reason. We're testing a weapon, of course it's going to involve someone dying. There's no way around it. I mean, you understand that. From a scientific standpoint if nothing else, right? It's supposed to be a lethal weapon, how will we ever know if it works properly unless we kill someone with it?"
"Ri-Right." Flug nodded. "There really isn't any other way to know for sure."
"Correct, and I will not start my business off with false advertising or faulty products."
"Heh, yeah, I don't see that going over too well. No matter how much goodwill you have with other villains."
"Yes, precisely! We may be friendly with each other, but that won't change whether or not the machines work right. If they don't, no one will buy them. To ensure our products work exactly as designed, they must be tested. That's why we're doing this. It's just, ahhh...a means to an end."
"A means to an end." Flug repeated.
"Yes. It may not be a good reason, but it's ours." Black Hat reached for Flug's hand and held it resolutely. "And it is ours. We are doing this together."
"Together."
"That's right. We're in this together now. Bound by a contract if nothing else. I know I'm not a good person, and I know you're nowhere near as innocent as you lead people to believe." Oh God I do manipulate people into thinking I'm a good person. "But...that's not a problem. Not for me, at least. I know what I am, and I won't apologize for it. You know what I want to do, when our base is built and we're ready to put the grand plan into motion?"
"What's that?"
"I want to do something public." Black Hat put his hands behind his head. "I've spent my entire life hiding. In plain sight, but hiding nonetheless. I want some big, over the top, grand entrance where I make myself and my business known. I want to show the world just what it is I'm capable of, and why the name 'Black Hat' will become synonymous with evil." Black Hat was getting a manic look in his eye. "And I want you right by my side." His expression softened, but he still managed to keep every last bit of crazed enthusiasm. "Do you think you'll be able to be there with me? Or would you rather be my scientist in the shadows?"
"I think...I want to be there with you. I...I've spent my life hiding, too."
"Gets a bit smothering after a while, doesn't it?"
"...Yeah..."
"You don't need to hide from me, you know. I certainly won't think any less of you for your evil genius."
"H-Ha, ha, genius?" Flug muttered. His face started feeling a little warm for some reason.
"What else would you think makes me want you so bad?"
"Ha, ha ha h-ha, you s-stop that." Oh God now he felt really warm. Was he sweating? Maybe he should take the hoodie off. No, no, bad idea. Bad idea. "We're on a stakeout."
"You're right, you're right. But it is true though. I'm a pansexual man whose commited more atrocities against society than I can count. Internationally. I'm not going to judge you for the shit you've got hidden in your closet."
"Is that where your money comes from?"
"That, and a lot of insider trading. And tax evasion."
Well, there was one question answered. "Speaking of closets...would you believe I actually feel a little worse about being gay than I do about killing people?"
"Even I think killing people is worse than that."
"I mean, it should be, right?"
"Yes, yes it should." Black Hat tapped the steering wheel a few times. "Hey uh, since we're being all talkative, can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, sure."
"It's about your...errrrmm, your...underwear..."
Flug swore to God he felt time completely freeze for a minute there.
"It's not so much why...well, no, it is why. But also...how?" Flug was at least grateful Black Hat looked as uncomfortable asking this as Flug felt being asked about it. "It's not that I don't think you look good, you do look good, that's not why I'm asking. I just...you weren't seeing anyone before. And you weren't sleeping around either. So, no one knew you were wearing that. Is it...just for you? It's just something you like to do?"
"It f-f-feels n-nice," Flug stammered. Oh God he was burning up in his hoodie. What must his face look like? You know what, nevermind. He didn't even want to know. "And I th-think I look good, t-too."
"Alrighty then." Black Hat focused back on staring out of the car windshield. "That's good enough for me. I mean, that's the only reason I wear this hat."
"Cuz you think you look good?"
"Excuse you, I know I look good."
"Ha ha, yeah, you do." Flug mumbled.
"So, how'd you...?" Black Hat was only looking at him out of the corner of his eye. "How'd this get started?"
"I j-just...got curious, a-and, I t-tried some on, a-a-and...it felt...g-good..."
"Got it."
Ah jeez, he'd been feeling so nice and calm and junk. They'd been talking, everything was somewhat alright. And then Black Hat had to go and ask about his panties. Flug was sure he didn't mean to make him so uncomfortable, and he didn't look any happier about taking the conversation there, but still. He guessed it wasn't wrong for Black Hat to be curious, but Jesus. Flug had never told, or shown, anyone else before. Not even Julio. Given that he would be sharing living spaces with the other cadets, he'd opted to either wear tighty whities or just go commando. He wasn't that big of a dumbass. He'd never really found a good time to tell Julio he liked that sort of thing, there had always been something he considered more urgent than discussing his preferred undergarments. Like dealing with the assholes who wouldn't allow them two seconds of peace. Or trying to catch up on all the relationship stuff he'd missed out on in high school. Rocinante Flugslys was nothing if not a fast learner, once he wrapped his head around the basics.
Black Hat leaned forward alertly. "He's here."
"H-Huh?" What? He'd started to space out for a moment there.
"Our victim. He's here. Coming down the street now." Black Hat slipped the rubber gloves on, while Flug sat there and started to panic. Why was he panicking, he didn't even have to do anything yet! All he had to do was sit and watch. Oh he's getting closer. He's coming. Oh fuck he's almost right on top of them. He was kinda chubby, to be honest. Was Black Hat going to need help with him? No no, he could handle it. He wouldn't need Flug's help. Flug didn't even have gloves for himself so- "Flug?"
"Y-Yeah?"
Black Hat fixed him with a mad grin. "Wish me luck."
With that, he swiftly exited the vehicle, walked over to the sidewalk just as their victim stepped under the canopy of leaves, shot him without saying a word or even breaking his stride, reached out quick as a fucking whip to grab him before he could hit the concrete, and dragged him upright to the trunk. The whole thing happened in the span of maybe five seconds, with Flug having a perfect view.
Holy shit that was smooth.
Black Hat had the trunk open and shut again within another few seconds, with their victim secured inside. Then he was climbing back into the driver's seat as if he didn't just fucking abduct someone. Did this make Flug an accessory to abduction?
Why was he worried about that when he was going to commit a murder? Again?
Black Hat started the car up. "So, are you ready for the next part?"
"As I'll ever b-b-be."
"Good. And remember, whatever happens," He put a hand on Flug's knee reassuringly. "You're not going to be fired or anything. I still intend to get a few years out of you after all."
Flug held his hand and smiled. "Ok."
Translations:
calabouço sexual = sex dungeon (Portuguese)
¿Oh Dios por qué? = Oh God why? (Spanish)
Notes:
Next chapter: Murder! And a P.O.V. switch you probably weren't expecting.
