Trigger Warning - Eating Disorder


Before I met Damon I thought all jocks were in love with cheerleaders. I was wrong considering Stefan isn't into them and Damon isn't. Ever since the beginning Damon and I were like instantly close. Today was like most of our days, if we didn't have much homework. When he'd take me home from school we wouldn't even do anything but homework lots of the time. Just knowing we had each other for help was motivation to do our work was enough. We'd text and talk on the phone a lot, Damon would tell me about the talk in the locker room. Which is basically a game of "Who slept with who.". I didn't really care but it was funny making fun of the desperate cheerleaders with him. Damon would sneak into my room all the time and we'd stay up watching TV marathons on the weekends. It was so much fun, I did think it'd be hard to be his friend because of my feelings for him but it wasn't. It was really easy being friends with Damon Salvatore.

The next day Damon came over again. It was Saturday morning. He came over without warning, little did I know that it would become a regular thing with him. Damon was really bummed out, he looked like a mess.

"What's wrong?" I got up off my bed and waited for him to talk to me.

"It's my half sister, Hayley. Her boyfriend's been sober for two years and he had relapsed." Damon looked down trying to hold it in. "He got into an a-accident and nearly killed this seven year old kid." His eyes watered but he didn't cry.

"Oh my gosh, Are they okay?" I asked concerned, I took his hand to comfort him. I felt so awful.

"He has a couple fractures, two cracked ribs and a broken bone then cuts and bruises. The kid had even worse than that but he's going to be alright." Damon took a breath. "My sister has a broken collarbone, fractured neck, bruises and cuts everywhere." Damon looked defeated. He and his sister are close and he didn't want her to have to go through this.

"I'm so sorry Damon." I pulled him closer and wrapped my arms around his waist. We stood there for awhile as I tried to comfort him.

"Thank you." He whispered in my ear, I felt his tears soak my shirt.

"It'll be okay." I reassured him. I felt his pain so intensely.

We sat on my bed and we laid next to each other in silence for a while, then we started making small talk. I just wanted Damon not to have to think about it, though I knew that's all he was thinking about. He felt helpless as he waited for his parents to come back and pick him up. After a while his family came to pick him up.. Things worked out fine, Damon's sister's injuries weren't to the extent of surgery. She got to go home by Tuesday to recover at home. Since she's only in her early twenties, she healed pretty fast. I was surprised that Damon opened up to me so fast. We had only known each other for a short time but he trusted me enough to come to me with something he was going through. It was a special moment we shared, Where I got to help him the way he helped me, and after that we were inseparable.


Stefan would always stare at me from his table. It was weird, I'd be talking to Damon about my classes and I'd see Stefan looking at me. He wouldn't turn away after I'd see what he was doing. I tried to ignore it because I knew Damon would freak. As much as I didn't like Stefan I didn't want to cause drama. It started around the time Damon and I started hanging out after school. He'd walk me home like the first day and we'd hang out at my house for awhile. The closer we got the worse Stefan would act around me. That made me think that, Maybe he is jealous. Sometimes I thought, "Well maybe he actually likes me like how I like Damon. He could just have a bad way of showing it." I shrug it off because he's still a jerk. I didn't even understand why he would be jealous or even like me. I didn't feel pretty, I felt disgusted. Damon always tells me he acts this why because he knows he will never be able to get in bed with me. It was true I don't even like him at all and even if I did Damon would probably freak out. Stefan did bother me a few times after that first day.

I stood in line at lunch, waiting for Caroline. I saw Stefan walking towards me with a group of friends. I turned my body fast to avoid him. The next thing I knew I felt a hand grabbing my ass. I turned around, shocked and covered in chills.

"Hey babe." Stefan winked at me, It grossed me out. He and went back over to his friends.

Everyone was laughing. I was so humiliated.

I ran out of the lunchroom and ran right into Damon. I didn't want to tell him because I knew he would freak out.

He laughed. "Where are you in a rush to?" Damon asked before he realized the look on my face. "Are you okay Elena?" He reached for my hand in concern.

I sighed. "I'm fine." I wasn't fine but it was my problem.

Damon didn't buy it. "Tell me the truth." How can this boy know me so well so fast?

I looked down. "It's Stefan. He grabbed my ass." I looked back up to see his face.

"What?" Damon said with anger. "I'm gonna kill him."

I shook my head. "Please don't!" He started to walk towards the lunchroom. I grabbed his arm. "Damon! I'm serious, I don't want to make a big deal about this."

He stopped himself and turned to me. "Fine, I won't this time but it is a big deal. You can't let a guy treat you like that. You are worth more than that." Damon said softly, staring into my eyes.

It meant a lot for Damon to say I was worth more. I never felt like I was worth much. Damon kept his word and didn't talk to Stefan. Then at practice he tackled Stefan. It was pretty funny.

Over the next few weeks I didn't really get bothered by Stefan aside from his usual antics.I didn't know why he always picked me to harass. Stefan called me a tease in the middle of class and everyone stared at us. It was really embarrassing.


I woke up on my day off from school to my mom yelling at me. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. "What?" I said still groggy.

She rolled her eyes and calmed down so she could explain herself again. "Your brother told me some older guy has been up here with you alone while I've been busy working my ass off to give you and your brothers a roof to live under!" My eyes widened as my mother grew angrier.

"We're just friend. I promise." I tried explaining.

She shook her head. "That doesn't make me feel better!" She yelled. "You are fifteen!"

"Please he has a girlfriend and he thinks of me as a little sister." I said lying, I hoped he didn't think of me that way.

She sighed. "He is not to be over here again alone until I meet him." I nodded at my mother's request. "You need to set an example for your little brother. You're suppose to be watching him, not hanging out with boys."

I didn't understand why she needed me to watch after a twelve year old who was more than capable of taking care of himself. "I'm sorry." I wasn't.

I wasn't planning on listening to her. She was not around enough to catch me. My mom was either at work or at her new boyfriend's house. She tried to let us think she was working longer shifts but we knew she was seeing someone. I didn't care if she was seeing someone but having me do everything around here while she's screwing some guy made me feel bad.

Damon called me a few hours later when I got out of the shower and asked to go get something to eat. I was so excited to spend time with him. I put on a black skirt and a red dressy shirt. He came to pick me up and met my mother. He charmed her just like I knew he would. We got into his car and drove off to mystic grill, blasting coldplay on the radio. It felt like a date but I knew it wasn't.

"What do you want to get?" Damon asked me as we looked at our menus.

"Uh not sure." I looked at the prices knowing I couldn't afford much.

"The burgers are really great." He suggested, with a cute smile.

I nodded. "That sounds good." I wasn't feeling a burger, I feel gross enough and imagining the calories in a cheeseburger practically made me sick.

We ordered and I fiddled with my fingers. "Are you okay?" Damon asked as he picked up on my anxiety.

"Yeah I'm good." I smiled at him.

"Okay good. I can't have you unhappy." He says as I blush.

Our food arrived and Damon digged in. "So how's your sister doing?" I asked him before taking a tiny bite of my burger. I felt sick trying to swallow it.

He wiped his face with his napkin. "She's doing much better thankfully. Her injuries are healing pretty well." Damon said relieved.

I smiled. "I'm so glad to hear that." He continued eating as I took another small bite.

Damon noticed I was barely eating. "Are you not hungry?" He asked as he was nearly done his food.

I was starving. "Not really, I had a huge breakfast." I lied and he nodded his head.

As he finished his food I grabbed for my wallet to pay my half. "I got the check." He said.

I was surprised. "Are you sure?" I asked him.

"Yeah don't worry about it." Damon pulled out his wallet and paid the bill.

It felt like maybe this was a date? I've gotten so many mixed signals. We left the grill and headed back to my house.

As we pulled up to my house, I unblocked my seatbelt. "This was fun." I said turning to look at his handsome smile.

"Yeah it was such a great time. You looked really nice today." He complimented me.

I smiled brightly. "Thanks." I giggled.

He reached over and hugged me. "Sleep well." He whispered.

We pulled away I hoped he would kiss me but he didn't.


I felt dumb for thinking he might actually like me. I didn't look like those cheerleaders he was use to hanging out with. I wasn't skinny enough and I wasn't pretty enough. I was still a little naive girl and I wasn't special at all. Damon probably just felt sorry for me and that's why he spends so much time with me.

I was up all night beating myself up about everything, over thinking, and self loathing. It was really unhealthy. I hadn't eaten a full meal in days. I felt like the lack of food was taking a toll on my mind. I didn't know what to do. I felt gross and I needed to lose weight but I was a mess.

I ran downstairs and inhaled a tub of strawberry ice cream. It felt so good and tasted so good.

As I finished scarfing the ice cream down I felt an overwhelming amount of guilt, to the point of feeling sick to my stomach. I ran to the bathroom and kneeled down to the toilet. That was the first time I forced myself to throw up.

I felt in control of my body and I liked that.