I was feeling tipsy before that shot now I was full on drunk. I don't know what I was thinking really by drinking so much. I didn't want to feel like an outsider anymore. I had lost track of Damon in between getting drinks. I looked around for him but no sign of him. The last drink was starting to hit me really hard I was dizzy. I remember when I thought I wasn't the type to get drunk at a house party. Here I am at my first real house party drunk. Who am I becoming?
"Elena? You okay?" I heard Damon yelling from behind me. I smiled. He could tell something was off.
"Hey! There you are!" I said drunkenly. I tried to hide it but I kind of smelled like a bottle of vodka so I'm pretty sure I wasn't doing a good job.
Damon raised his eyebrow at the sight of me. "Have you been drinking?!" He was shocked at my behavior. In his defense this wasn't me.
"No I'm fine." I giggled. I walked closer to him my balance wasn't very good.
"Wow you're so drunk." Damon looked unsure what to do. I lowered myself to the floor to sit down.
"I'm tired." I yawned laying my head back on the wall.
"Okay boozy I'm taking you home." He took my arm and helped me up.
We got into the car after I almost fell five or six times. Damon usually has a couple beers but doesn't drive unless he's sober. I don't think he was drinking at all tonight. I felt bad he had to take care of me. He was really sweet and gentle about everything.
"I'm so sorry Damon." I said slurring my words.
"It's fine Elena but if you're going to drink next time warn me before you do so I can look out for you." Damon was concerned.
"I will." I agreed.
I was lucky to have Damon looking out for me.
We pulled up to my house. We used the front door to get in because I was in no condition to climb up my balcony. My mom wasn't home anyway. Thankfully. Damon helped me up the stairs and I laid down on my bed and I pulled Damon down with me laughing.
"Here drink some water." Damon handed me a bottle. I pushed it away. "So drink it all unless you want to feel horrible tomorrow." He explained pushed it back towards me.
"Why are you always so nice to me?" I looked down. "I'm always messing up." Damon's face softened.
"Hey stop that. You're great and I'm always going to be here for you." He pulled me in for a hug. He was so warm and gentle.
We pulled away looking into his eyes I couldn't resist. I grabbed his face and kissed him. He deepened it and before we knew it we were making out. I couldn't believe it.
"Elena-" He spoke softly as he pulled away from my lips. "We can't do this. You're not in the right state of mind." Damon explained as he rubbed my cheek with his thumb.
"I'm so sorry Damon." I felt so stupid.
"It's okay. We got caught in the moment." He laid down next to me.
We laid there in silence.
"You know the first time I got drunk was so different then your time. I was about sixteen." I was surprised that he older when he got drunk for the first time. "Unlike you the first time I actually drank I never got drunk."
"Stupid me." We laughed.
"I was at the beach with my family and I meant to drink one beer but one turned into five." He laughed at his younger self.
"Five?" I laughed.
"Yes I ended up drowning and almost died. Never drink and swim." He chuckles.
"You're lying." We both smiled.
"Okay fine it was the bathtub but still I nearly drowned." I laughed so hard. "Get some rest okay?" He kissed my head and left.
I woke up the next morning with no hangover the water worked alright. I was hoping I would wake up and Damon would be here but he wasn't. I walked over to the window and looked at his house. He wasn't home. Where was he at this time of day? I went to the bathroom and into the shower. I started to remember last night a little better. The kissing. It was awkward because I was drunk I need to know what he's thinking. Does he regret it? Or waiting for me to be sober. I don't know if I should bring it up or not.
Caroline came over a little later. "Elena!" She shouted after I told her what happened. "Since when do you drink?"
"It was a one time thing." I tried to comfort her and myself.
"He really didn't try anything?" Caroline still being surprised every time Damon does anything respectable is still funny.
"Not really it was mostly me he came to his senses pretty quickly." I was so unsure about what this meant.
"Elena that's amazing! I misjudged him. I knew you liked him and he cared about you but I always thought that even caring he's still a jock and will hurt you." Caroline was surprised to be wrong she was always right.
"Do you think he's going to bring it up? I asked her advice.
"What did he say after?" She asked.
"He said that we can't do this because I'm not in the right state of mind." I thought about what happened.
"You need to talk to him Elena the message isn't clear." I knew she was right.
Once Caroline left I called Damon and met him at his house. As I knocked on this door I was so nervous.
"Hey! Champ any hangover?" He smiled invited me in.
"No I'm good actually thanks for the water." I smiled. "Let's sit on the bench." Damon nodded as he followed me.
"What's going on?" He asked, looking at me.
"We should talk about last night." I avoided eye contact. I was scared to admit to my feelings. It seemed like everytime I did something would stop me.
"Yeah you're right we need to talk about it." He sighed and rubbed his head. "I feel really bad that I let you kiss me." I looked at his face and saw guilt written all over his face. "You didn't know what you were doing you were drunk. I should've stopped you." Damon felt relieved to get that out.
"You didn't do anything wrong Damon." I shook my head. "I kissed you. There's nothing that you did that would've stopped me." I reassured him.
"I shouldn't have put myself in that position Elena." He state but I wasn't having it. "You're fifteen and I should've been there for you not on you."
"Damon I knew what I was doing okay? You were respectful you didn't let things get any further and I'm thankful for that." I smiled at him waiting for him to accept that I was fine with what happened but he didn't. My smile faded when he stood up.
"I think I need some time to thinkā¦" He hugged me and went back inside.
I feel so hurt.
There wasn't anything I could do to change his mind. He's never going to let himself off the hook I know him too well. I don't want this to ruin our friendship. I felt so sick about the thought of losing him. It broke my heart in two different ways. To lose the guy I loved and the guy who's become my best friend. I couldn't do it. We didn't see each other for days. I was in a permanent bad mood. This was horrible. The closer we got the farther it pushed us apart. He missed a couple days of school too. I was worried that I would never get him back. My friends said I should go fix it but there wasn't anything I could do.
