"Hang on, everyone. We're coming in hot", James says as he desperately tries to regain control of his ship, which is in a freefall towards the empty streets below. F-Zero tracks are usually positioned over sparsely populated parts of town, so the air is thankfully clear of drivers who don't want a falling ship to land on them. But, McCloud is still in a fight to make sure the ship goes where he wants it to. Dr. Clash is losing his mind as he tries to process what's going on, having still not gotten an explanation as to what's going on.
McCloud manages to regain control of the ship and pull into an alley between two run-down buildings. He quickly positions his craft at the very back end of the alley, parks it, and throws on the cloaking device. Everything's silent for a couple seconds before Clash pipes up, sounding exhausted and exasperated. "Can someone… please tell me… WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!"
*BANGpowSMASH*
Everyone looks out the windshield and sees Dr. Clash's Crazy Bear bounce off a couple of buildings before landing about a hundred feet in front of them. McCloud opens up the cabin and Clash runs out to examine the wreckage of his beloved machine. The rest of the racers stand at the edge of the cabin and look on in sympathy. "That'll buff out", Gazelle says with the others looking at him like he's an unfeeling jerk. Suddenly, there's another loud smashing sound, and the four racers still in the cabin are launched out and onto the ground. Jody, Monique, and Gazelle manage to land on their feet, since they're either super-athletic or basically a robot, while James, a regular human, lands on the ground with a splat.
"That won't", James replies with a groan. The moment is broken up by uproarious laughter, but it's not coming from any of the racers. They all jump up, looking to see if Shadow's goons have found them, but instead, they look up and find a familiar, and slightly annoying sight: Zoda. He's sitting on the edge of the roof of one of the buildings lining the alley, his purple skin almost completely blue from laughing so hard.
"Oh my dark lord, that was the funniest thing I've ever seen. First, your craft gets smashed and that's funny enough, but then you four get right into position, and *whistling noises*, then BANG! A direct hit, right to the engine! You couldn't be that precise with a homing missile, that was comedy platinum!" Sure enough, the vehicle got shoved off the broken track up above, Leon's Space Angler, crashed into James's ship, directly into the engine. It's not going anywhere, any time soon.
Unsurprisingly, none of the other racers are enthused to see the Death Anchor pilot. Not only is he one of the most psychotic racers on the circuit with a rap sheet almost as long as Black Shadow's, but he's also just annoying to be around. The crew try to ignore the cackling as James goes to check on his ship. "Oh come on, guys. Even you stiffs have to admit that was funny."
"Not now, Zoda", Jody replies, "we've got bigger problems at the moment. What's the status on your ship, James?"
"Oh, I don't know Jody, what do you think a 2000 pound machine flying at several hundred miles an hour would do to whatever it lands on? I don't have nearly enough nanomachines to get this thing moving."
"Bigger problems? Bigger problems?! I'm the biggest problem you little termites will ever encounter!", he says in a righteously offended voice that's so high, it's squeaking. "What could be a bigger problem than the almighty Lord of Death, ZODA!"
Mrs. Arrow's already on her last nerve dealing with her husband's arch-nemesis, and she snaps at him. "Black Shadow kidnapped and brainwashed most of the other racers, including my husband, and now he's off on a transport ship, heading to who-knows-where, while I'm stuck here dealing with you, and I'm about done. So if you don't can it, I'll try to fix this ship by using you as a hammer!" Everyone freezes for a second, listening to the normally cool-headed Mrs. Arrow going berserk on him. Clash's hearing this for the first time, and now finally has an explanation for what's going on that's greatly appreciated. Gazelle offers an emotionally overwhelmed Arrow a hug, which is eagerly accepted, and lets her have a bit of an outlet.
However, Zoda has some mixed emotions. "So… the old ox finally pulled it off, huh? Drat, I wanted to do all that first. So, we're going to go kick his butt or what?", he asks while jumping off the building, onto the cloaked wreckage of James's ship, and then down to the street below. Everyone's stunned by the question.
"Excuse me?", Mrs. Arrow asks, half-offended, half-in disbelief that Zoda would so flippantly do something in line with what she wanted to do.
"Why would you want to take down Shadow?", Jody asks, baffled by his sudden change of heart.
"Oh, so just because we're both criminals means we're members of each other's fanclub, huh? Typical law enforcement, just lumping us all together."
"I know for a fact that you and Shadow nearly burnt Zelnus 4 to the ground before my husband stopped you two."
"IT WAS ONE TIME, AND IT WAS A DISASTER", he shouts, with the others trying to keep his voice down. "He was undeniably the worst partner I've ever had, and I should've vaporized him, right then and there. But now… now's my chance for revenge. Now, not only can I eliminate that buffoon once and for all, but you cub scouts will love me for it. It's perfect! HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! … So, what's the plan, new friendos?"
Everyone else looks at each other in a state of total confusion and bewilderment, before Mrs. Arrow calls for a huddle. "We're not seriously considering this, are we?", Mrs. Arrow asks, wanting nothing more than to punt Zoda into the Sun.
"Absolutely not, he's a known criminal, who'll probably lead us into a pit of acid if he had his way", Jody replies, never taking her eyes off of him.
"I mean, yes, but isn't this supposed to be a mission to rescue pilots? He is technically a pilot, like him or not", Gazelle pipes in, leaving the two ladies fuming that he's technically right.
"Look, in my experience dealing with bad dudes like him, it's much better to have him on your side than doing his own thing. Plus, if we're gonna make a run for Black Shadow, it's handy to have a 'bad guy' around to do the dirty work you aren't comfortable doing yourself", James adds.
"Oooo, I love dirty work, count me in on that", Zoda says, popping into the huddle unexpectedly.
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. When did that get decided? Who said anything about us going after Black Shadow, that's someone else's job, right?", Clash says in a state of shock. He's a scientist, not an adventurer, but the other racers kind of shrug their shoulders, and say that it is their job.
"I've got to get my husband back."
"I've got to get my partner back."
"I've got a fat contract to pursue Black Shadow waiting for me when I get back to my ship."
"I literally have 'kick Black Shadow in the codpiece' on my bucket list."
"Without the other F-Zero pilots to race against, I literally have nothing else to live for, soooooooo…"
"And besides", Jody adds, "we could really use that big brain of yours to help us with plans and any tech you might have that could help us. Pleeeeeeeease…", she says, trying to turn on the charm.
Dr. Clash has to think about it, long and hard. Aside from racing in the F-Zero league, he's almost never spent a waking moment outside of a garage or a lab. This isn't an easy decision, but he has to decide fast. But then, as so often happens with him, inspiration strikes. "I'll do it… on one condition. After this is all done, I want… you." They all gasp in surprise at the audacity of his request.
"My goodness, doctor… this is so sudden, what would the world think of this?"
"No Zoda, just… no… That machine you've built, the one pumping all those chemicals into your brain? That should've killed you, like, years ago. I want to run some experiments on it, and on you, so I can find out how you've been able to basically overdose on dopamine for years. Understanding that can lead to breakthroughs in the field of medicine and could significantly improve how people with depression are treated."
Zoda has to really consider this odd request, because this is wildly out of his wheelhouse. "You know, the thought of improving the lives of sick people should make me disgusted to my very core, but… I do love the attention. Alright, Doc, you've got yourself a lab rat", Zoda says while shaking hands with the white-haired doctor. "Well, cub scouts, it looks like we're a big happy team together. Who wants a hug?", he asks while opening his arms wide.
"Sure, Zoda. Any excuse I can find to suplex you", Mrs. Arrow replies.
"And you ruined the good vibes of the gang. Great job, Monique."
Suddenly, Mrs. Arrow drags Zoda to the concrete and pins his arms behind his back with a knee in the small of his spine. "You don't get… to call me… Monique", she says into his ear before letting him up with a shove.
"Yeesh, anger issues. Alright, what's the plan…"
Gazelle leans over toward Jody and asks her, "am I allowed to call her Monique?", to which Jody nods reassuringly.
James looks up and points, silently telling his comrades to get in the shadows and be quiet. He can see little dots falling down from the track above. Shadow's goons are on their way down, looking for pilots to capture. "Ok guys, the way I see it, we have two options. Option A: stay here and call for backup. Jody, can you get in contact with the GSF?"
"I don't have my communicator on me, and it's short-range anyway."
"Monique, any supers your husband runs with?"
"Super Arrow's a bit of a lone wolf like that."
"Zoda, any villains who owe you a favor?"
"Mmmmm... How about Damian the Mindflayer?"
"Strong maybe."
"Well, what about you?", pipes up Dr. Clash. "Aren't you a member of that team of mercenaries? What're they called again… the Star Foxes?" …
There's a long, awkward pause, and James looks visibly annoyed. "That's a totally different group, we're called the Galaxy Dogs. And yes, but the rest of my team are doing a mission on the other side of the galaxy. Even if I could get a message to them, and even if they could drop everything right now, and beeline it over here, we'd be looking at a minimum of 12 hours of wait-time, and by then, we might be the ones who need rescuing, and I don't get taken hostage, ever. So that's out. Which just leaves Option B: get the heck off Earth and jump to the other side of the galaxy. That way we can get to my ship and away from those goons coming for us."
Dr. Clash presses a few buttons on his hologram display. He pulls up a 3D map of the nearby area, and presses a destination on it. "There's a spacebus terminal about ten blocks up the road. It's booked up for the time being, probably from race fans leaving the track. But there is an open bus that's heading to Paniyama in about an hour."
James ponders to think about that offer for a second. "Not the most glamorous option, but Paniyama's at least in the same solar system as my ship. That should get us away from Shadow's troops for the time being while we gather intel. Order the tickets, Doctor."
"Um… I don't have enough money for six spacebus tickets… I'm a scientist, we don't make a lot of money", Clash says, a bit embarrassed.
"Oh don't worry, Doc, that won't be a problem for Mr. Fat Contract over here, will it?", Zoda says while smugly grinning at James.
He takes a deep breath and places his thumbprint on the hologram, with a little jingle playing to confirm the order. "Siiiiigh… I have many regrets right now. Alright, we got our tickets, but we still got an hour before takeoff. That's better than twelve at least, but we're still sitting ducks for the time being."
"Well, that time can be well spent scouring the area for other pilots?", Jody says. "We can make our way up to the spaceport, checking the streets along the way while steering clear of those thugs, and get on the spacebus just before takeoff."
James nods in approval while crossing his arms. "Good plan, Jody. If nobody has any problems with it, let's roll out."
