I do not own Naruto
After sitting down on a rooftop to wait for a report, Naruto looked at his teammates.
"I don't like that sensei's keeping us out of the exam" declared Naruto with a frown.
"Agreed. Only the best of the best are allowed to join the exam and we definitely qualify" nodded Sasuke in approval.
Sakura frowned. "I think sensei is too biased towards the exams to ever give us the chance to participate. We might be able to convince him if we keep pestering him for a year, but… just like Kurenai-sensei said, the fact the exams are in Konoha would actually give us a massive advantage."
"Then we all agree we should participate." stated Naruto matter-of-factly.
"Dobe, sensei will never let us join." reminded him Sasuke.
Naruto frowned at the nickname. "That's not what I was thinking. If, say, our applications were to end up among the pile, do you think sensei will be able to pull us out?"
"Naruto…" Sakura growled.
"Unlikely. But sensei would need to nominate us first." mentioned Sasuke, intrigued.
"Sasuke…" Sakura growled again.
"What if, hypothetically speaking, someone else were to nominate us in place of sensei?" asked Naruto.
"BOYS!" shouted Sakura. "You are not planning what I think you are planning, right?"
The two boys looked at each other in silence.
"I can't believe you! You're planning to go behind sensei's back to enter the exam!"
"Sakura, listen…" started Naruto.
"Listen to what? What you're suggesting is illegal and extremely dangerous! What's even your plan, break into the Hokage's office and just steal an application?"
"No! Of course not!" protested Naruto.
"Then start explaining!" demanded Sakura.
Naruto unsealed a scroll, showing his teammates his disguise kit.
"Ok, you disguise yourself as sensei and join their meeting. We know where it is thanks to Kurenai-san, but sensei is also sending a shadow clone. You'll be caught immediately." pointed out Sasuke.
"Not if you deal with sensei's clone. You have a technique that guarantees a kill, don't you? And you know how much sensei likes to use the Shunshin when moving around the village."
Sasuke frowned. "That could work. I've actually caught sensei a couple of times with it, if he doesn't expect it I have pretty good chances of landing a hit on him if it's a shadow clone, a scratch should be enough to dispel it. But then what, sensei hated the idea of us participating and everyone knows it. It'll be suspicious if he suddenly changes his mind with no explanations."
Naruto frowned, deep in thought.
"What if he didn't feel like he had a choice?" asked Sakura, drawing attention to herself. Truth to be told, she also wanted to join the exams, and she knew that both boys could tell. She was hesitant to break the rules in such a way, but Kurenai was right: if not now, they might have to wait years before they could participate again.
"Think about it: you two are the last of two powerful clans, are both on the same team and yet are the only rookie team not to participate. What if he felt like your absence would be seen as a weakness for the village? Maybe some sand jonin recognized you and now all of a sudden your presence has become necessary?"
Naruto scratched his chin. That was a good plan, but it had given him an even better one. "That could work. Now… sensei already mentioned sending a clone, so he'll be expected to dispel as soon as the meeting is over. I can send one of my shadow clones since it'll be easier than faking it. If there are forms I can just tell them we'll come to pick them up ourselves. Now, the question is…how can we tell if we succeeded? We need confirmation."
Sasuke stood silent for a second before a realization hit him.
Kuchiyose no jutsu
A small raven roughly as long as a finger popped into existence perched atop Sasuke's shoulder.
"Hello, Sasuke-san. Do you need my help?"
"Hello, Gazu. I was wondering… can you end your summoning at the same time as a Kage Bunshin dispelling?"
The raven tilted his head. "Can't say I ever tried to, but I supposed it wouldn't be that hard."
Kage Bunshin no jutsu
A Naruto clone appeared in front of the raven, gesturing at the pockets of his jacket. With a nod of understanding, Gazu crawled in.
"Clone, you'll have to announce your dispelling. Gazu, once you're done, wait a few seconds before summoning yourself to me. Ready for the test?"
Naruto nodded, before stretching his arms. "Well, off I go."
The clone puffed, leaving no sign of Gazu. After a couple seconds, the raven popped back into existence on top of Sasuke's shoulder.
"That can work." nodded Sakura in approval. "Now, let's make the best sensei disguise we will ever need to use."
After about twenty minutes, one of Sasuke's ravens swept down, alerting the group that he had found the missing Suna jonin visiting the hospital. Team 7 left a few clones to finish the disguise and left, watched Gazu waving at them perched on the clone's head.
According to Baki, the man wanted to make sure Konoha had the appropriate antidotes to Suna's poisons, should one of the genin from other villages ended up being wounded. Satisfied with the explanation, the group swiftly linked up with the rest of the Suna group and assisted Risu-sensei touring the village.
6:50 pm, training ground 7
"Uhm, sensei, not that I don't need help with this kata, but… don't you have to send a shadow clone to the Hokage meeting?" asked Sakura
"Oh yeah. Thank you for reminding me."
Kage Bunshin no jutsu
Risu turned his attention to Sakura's yari kata, while the clone sighed.
Shunshin no jutsu
The clone landed on the rooftop, only to stop suddenly as a sword sliced his forearm. Barely a noticeable wound, but more than enough to dispel the shadow clone in a puff of smoke. Before his sensei could notice his absence, Sasuke turned his gaze at training ground 7.
Shunshin no jutsu
It was done. Now, they only had to trust in Naruto's clone.
Later, Hokage's office
Naruto entered the Hokage's office, his heartbeat fast in excitement and fear. Outwardly, he appeared extremely pissed, which would mask the true reason behind his quick heart rate to anyone with sharp enough senses to pick up on it. He stood there as the sensei of the older teams nominated their genins, patiently waiting for the rookie's turn.
"Risu, Kurenai and Asuma… well? I don't have to tell you, but after a genin completes at least 8 missions they may take the exam if nominated by their sensei."
"The Kurenai led team 8: Hyuuga Hinata, Inuzuka Kiba and Aburame Shino. Under the name of Yuuhu Kurenai, I nominate them to take the chunin selection exam."
"The Asuma led team 10: Shikamaru Nara, Yamanaka Ino and Akimichi Choji. Under the name of Sarutobi Asuma, I nominate them to take the chunin selection exam."
Risu spoke with barely contained irritation "The Risu led team 7: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke and Haruno Sakura. Under the name of Hyuuga Risu, I nominate them to take the chunin selection exam."
All the jonin's heads turned toward Naruto, while a voice rose from the back "Hold on a second!"
The Hokage gestured Iruka to speak.
"I may be speaking out of place, but those nine were students of mine at the academy. Of course they are very talented, but it's too early to take the exam. They need more experience. I can't understand the jonin's reasoning."
"I agree with Umino-san here. They need more experience. Unfortunately, due to a certain… condition of one of my students being the single worst kept secret in Konoha…" Naruto paused, seeing the Hokage wince. "...his status has become known to the other villages as well. They know who he is and that he is a rookie genin. If my team doesn't participate while all the other rookies do… " He glared at Asuma and Kurenai "...the village will look weak. I hate this, you know how much I hate this, but unfortunately it's necessary."
Hiruzen frowned, then shifted his gaze to look at his son.
Asuma shrugged. "There isn't much to it. With the exams being held in Konoha, their home field advantage is massive. They might have a better chance now than training for two years to take the exam in Yugakure, or kami help them if they held the exams in Hoshigakure again."
Kurenai nodded in agreement. Hiruzen didn't need to ask her opinion since she clearly shared Asuma's reasoning.
The Hokage put down his pipe. "It seems like politics are forcing our hand once again. Risu, for what it's worth I am sorry."
Naruto shook his head. "There's nothing to be sorry about, Hokage-sama. It is what it is, we just have to deal with it."
Hiruzen nodded. "Now that that part is concluded, I can officially declare that in seven days, on the first day of the seventh moon, the chunin selection exam will begin. Ibiki Morino is working to iron out the questions for the written test, which will take place at the academy in room 301, while Mitarashi Anko and a team of specialists have been placing cameras around training ground 44, where both the second test and the preliminaries for the third test, should they be necessary, will take place. The central tower has already been outfitted with beds and an infirmary is to be stocked soon. Risu-san, under normal circumstances I would enlist you to help us with the preparation for the Heaven and Earth scrolls, but as a jonin sensei of a participating team, that will give your team too big of an advantage. We will divert one of our fuinjutsu specialist from the Kekkai-Han to assist with the scroll preparations, which means all of your teams will be assigned a C-rank mission each to patrol the village walls in order to make up for the reduced security. If that is all, the jonin sensei can pick the application forms to hand over to their students."
Naruto shook his head. "My little ones will pick them up themselves after training. Is that acceptable, Hokage-sama?"
Hiruzen nodded.
"If that is everything, I'm off" he said, before disappearing in a puff of smoke
At the same time, at training ground 7, Naruto and Sasuke were resting after a hard afternoon training. Risu-sensei had left about twenty minutes ago, after they finished their daily training by using the Funyu Fuin. Naruto and Sasuke had failed, but Sakura had managed to capture Sasuke's Dama no jutsu in her scroll and was jumping around, celebrating her success despite the exhaustion caused by the Dama no jutsu.
With a puff of smoke, Gazu appeared next to Sasuke.
"The three of you should head to the tower to pick up your papers. But before you go, I have some very interesting intel about the first and second tests…"
The next morning, Naruto's house
Naruto felt the slithering over his body. He tried to move, but his body was bound, and his wrappings squeezed tighter at every move. He tried to channel chakra, but something prevented him from doing so. When he started to move he realized what had tied him up: centipedes. He was wrapped by centipedes, and the creatures were moving. He felt the cold air of night and heard the familiar sound of a door slamming shut, the familiar twists and turns of his neighborhood, darting around at a much greater speed than what he thought possible in his current situation. Before he knew it, he stopped moving. The centipedes relaxed, dropping him upside down as the largest one, about twice Naruto's size, held him by the feet. He looked around, seeing Sakura and Sasuke in the same situation and an extremely pissed off Risu glaring at them.
"Hello, you three." His tone was icy "You know, I just heard a very interesting rumor. A rumor that says that you three signed up for the chunin exam. Which is funny, because I don't remember signing you up for such a thing."
"Sensei…" Naruto tried to speak, before being immediately shut down by a wave of excruciating pain. As suddenly as it came, the pain disappeared.
"I was not done talking, Uzumaki."
Risu stared at the three, pondering what to do.
"What the hell were you thinking?" He finally said "Do you have any idea how absolutely moronic that stunt you just pulled was? How many laws have you broken? Did you even stop for a second and consider that this stunt could have you kicked out of the ninja program? Banished from the village? Did you even think of that, you absolute morons?!" He shouted.
The three looked sheepish, unsure what to say. That they didn't consider what would happen if the plan didn't go their way? Risu-sensei would never accept that.
The Hyuuga sighed deeply, before snapping his fingers. The centipedes released their grip, causing the three to fall to the ground.
"I should lock you morons up in a stasis seal until the end of the exams. You're lucky I don't have the chakra to do so. You're also lucky I'm not sure if I should be enraged for your idiotic actions or be proud of you for pulling off this stunt."
He sat down, cross legged, hands on his face muzzling a scream of exasperation. He lifted his head, glaring at the three.
"Tell me what you did. In details."
And Naruto did. By the end, Risu-sensei seemed to have calmed down considerably.
"I shouldn't praise you for what you did, but you three morons did come up with an ingenious plan. This summon, Rizu was he called? That was a stroke of genius. If you were able to trick the Hokage and all of the jonin sensei, I have nothing left to teach you regarding infiltration. However, you three didn't even try to cover your tracks. You had no plan to either hide or twist the truth from me, which in a real mission will blow your cover and give you a lot of hardship. One of you should have disguised himself as the Hokage and explain how your participation was necessary. The story you used in the Hokage's office would have probably been sufficient. Once these exams are over, we'll go through how to make an escape plan and how to maintain a cover when people are suspecting the presence of a spy."
He took a few deep breaths, his mind racing on how to proceed. He would need to inform the Hokage of this shitshow, but he would seriously doubt Hiruzen would let him retreat his team from the exams. He would probably congratulate the kids, if he understood how that old monkey was thinking half as well as he believed. Despite his vehement objections, team 7 was going to participate in the chunin exams.
"For now, since you morons have decided to be dancing monkeys for the Daimyos, you should focus on learning how to dance. Use your skills to impress the crowd, lessons in theatrics and showmanship, how to hide under the spotlight. That and, obviously, you morons will gather as much information as you can on the participants and the tests."
"I suppose we graduated from little ones to morons?" asked Sasuke.
"You deserve a much worse nickname than that, but I'm too tired to come up with something better at the moment." was Risu's sharp reply.
"Sensei, what can you tell us about Ibiki Morino and Mitarashi Anko? I know Ibiki was a student of my mom, with Koiji-san and Hayate-san, but I was never able to find the guy." asked Naruto.
"Ibiki-san is not exactly a people person. I guess working as the head of T&I for over a decade takes its toll. Mitarashi is a Tokubetsu jonin working under a different department, but still in T&I. What's your plan?"
"I'll have my summons inspect training ground 44. We know the second exam will take place there, I should have a detailed map ready in a couple of days." said Sasuke.
"They plan to move an infirmary to the central tower. I can disguise myself as a nurse and scout the place for more information about the test." pointed out Sakura.
"Good plan. It will be useless if you don't pass the first test, though. What's your plan on that?"
"We know it's a written test that will take place in room 301 at the academy and that this Ibiki is writing the questions. I suppose we could sneak in T&I and memorize the answers? Maybe I'll finally talk to him about mom…" mused Naruto.
"Absolutely not!" shouted Sakura. "T&I is where they keep enemy spies to be interrogated, it's the single best guarded building in the village. There has to be an easier way."
"They will have to move the tests to the academy, right? Why don't we just wait there?" proposed Sasuke.
"Hmm… If I send a clone at the entrance and have him stay invisible with the Shinkiro no jutsu active, then follow them to find out where they store the test." suggested Naruto with a smile.
"You're planning to keep up a genjutsu that requires you to be perfectly still for hours? Why don't I send a summon instead?" suggested Sasuke.
"Why don't we teach?" asked Sakura.
"Uh?" was Naruto's dumbfounded reply.
"Why don't we take up a few D-ranks as teaching assistants? We'll have free access to the building and we can search the storage rooms without raising suspicion." explained Sakura.
"They won't let any genin near the questions for the chunin exam" objected Sasuke.
"That just means that when they tell us not to enter a room, that's the place where they keep the questions." rebuked Sakura.
Risu said nothing, not showing any emotion while on the inside he was beaming with pride. His students had grown into fine spies. The prospect of his student participating in that thrice-damned exam made him shiver in apprehension, but seeing them planning how to outsmart the examiners reminded him how good his hatchling, his little ones and now his morons had grown since they first started studying under him. And like Kurenai had said, with the exams being in Konoha, the chances of them dying was very low. They would be fine…right?
Notes
You didn't think I'd let team 7 miss the chunin exams, did you?
I spent A LOT of time pondering Risu's reaction upon discovering team 7's stunt. Proud, angry, terrified... went through the whole spectrum before settling with begrudgingly accepting. I think I did a decent job portraying that, but a decent job is not a great job. I hope you like it
Answering PM/Review
I didn't mean for Risu to insult Asuma and Kurenai, but considering his situation... a passive-aggessive insult feels appropriate.
