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Chapter 34

Ser Barristan I

He watched King Aemon pace around the tent. Normally his king was remarkably implacable for a boy his age. But he's not really a boy, he had to remind himself. He shivered when he thought back to the story Aemon had told them. At any other time, Aemon would have been thoroughly dismissed for crazed imaginings, but certain pieces of the puzzle regarding Jaime Lannister had finally fit into place.

Once upon a time, Jaime Lannister had fallen in love with a warrior woman named Brienne, and that's why he called for her during his worst nightmares in the White Tower. It's why Jaime had such a haunted look in his eyes when Barristan knew full well it hadn't been there right after his murder of King Aerys Targaryen II. At first, Barristan thought perhaps his lecture had gotten through to him, but that had happened even a few months before Jaime had undergone a complete personality change.

He had been so incensed by Jaime murdering the king and then retaining his position as Kingsguard, he refused to engage with Jaime at all unless it was to tell him his guarding shifts or to train. Jaime had allowed him to. Even after the sting had finally lessened, Barristan found he was too busy working with the other Kingsguard and trying to fill the empty spots to pay much attention to him.

Jaime's eyes had shined with excitement and delight when Ser Arthur Dayne had knighted him and even after he'd been inducted into the Kingsguard, he still retained some of that youthful energy. That had clearly been stripped away by the war. He had his moments of arrogance on the training grounds where he still enjoyed showing his superior fighting skills, but outside of battle he barely smiled at all.

Then one day he'd woken up and he hadn't been able to fight at all. He kept looking at his swordhand as if it was foreign to him and Ser Barristan had bested.

"Are you well, Ser Jaime? I bested you easily," he had asked, feeling reinvigorated by finally taking the fight against him for the first time in nearly three years.

He would never forget the way Jaime seemed to look right through him as though he were meeting him again for the first time. Then he said, "Again."

This time Barristan took it easier on him and was alarmed at how drastically Jaime had changed in just one day. He kept misplacing his feet, his stance was no longer attuned to his right hand His instincts are backwards, he thought as Jaime jumped to the left instead of to the right and took a blow right in the ribs. Each time they fought, he would shake out his right hand, as though it weren't working properly.

"What is going on? What is wrong with your hand? Should I fetch the Maester for you?"

"Nothing," Jaime snapped. "I just need practice. Again!" He switched his sword to his left hand this time.

He was even worse with the left hand and for the first time, since King Aerys died, Jaime looked afraid. Instead of dueling with him again he turned to practice dummies. It was only a few days later, after the king had had a few days with his new wife, the Queen Cersei, that Barristan had informed him of Jaime's regression.

At first the king had merely hand-waved it away, but then he saw Jaime struggling to go through the basic moves and he consulted with Barristan. Queen Cersei had ordered Grandmaester Pycelle to look after her brother, though he insisted he was fine. After a discussion with the king, they brought him up and nearly ejected him from the Kingsguard.

"We can't have a Kingsguard who can't fight," the king had snarled.

"Please, your grace, I insist this is only an inconvenience. Give me a month and I'll be able to take Ser Mandon Moore in a straight fight," Ser Jaime had begged.

He never thought Jaime would ever reduce himself to the humiliation of begging, but he had. It was then that Barristan had wondered, For a man who murdered the first king he served, why in seven hells would he want to continue serving? He was well aware that Tywin Lannister had been working on the king to release his son from his vows.

Jaime had won the month for recovery and by the end of it, he was a hair's breadth from taking him in the ring. Barristan had once again puzzled over Jaime's quick recovery: It's like he had forgotten certain habits, but once they resurfaced, he put them back on like a familiar shirt.

However, the story of Jaime returning with his memories made that series of events fall into place. Jaime had been forced to adapt to his left hand when he'd lost his swordhand, which is why his instincts were backwards and why he kept looking at his right hand as if he'd forgotten he had one.

Eventually, Jaime had settled into a routine of training and guarding. Silent as a statue, Ser Barristan soon grew used to his silence, and forgot about him, instead focusing on the new additions to the Kingsguard.

Such a great many mistakes I have made, he thought as he followed the king's pacing.

He didn't need to be there. Ser Arys and Ser Preston were guarding the tent. He should be in bed himself, preparing for the coming battle, but he would not sleep as long as his king failed to sleep. Never had Aemon reminded him so strongly of Rhaegar until now. While Rhaegar had been at least ten years older than Aemon was now, neither one should have been forced to bear their burden. He had seen how it had consumed his Prince and he was determined to ensure that it did not consume Aemon. By comparison, Aemon had much stronger support.

Though he still found Jaime suspect, there was no doubt that he brought comfort and assurance to Aemon. Where he was now, though, was anyone's guess and he dearly wished he would haul the Hand of the King to the tent now to soothe Aemon's fears and doubts.

Lord Stark was the other and he had been notably absent for the last month. He had been there when Aemon had confessed the illegitimacy of the letter to his uncle. Ser Barristan had suspected already that it was a forgery. Though he did not engage in such pursuits, he knew well enough how difficult it was to secure information and that letter had had entirely too much for any man to feel safe putting down on paper. But where Barristan had swelled up in pride at seeing Rhaegar's son successfully make a move in the game, Ned Stark deflated. That had caused Aemon to deflate as well.

He praised Aemon for his guile, but the words coming from him were not the same coming from his uncle. He's grown up a stain on Lord Stark's honor; all he ever wanted was to please his supposed father until he became king. He could feel a dull anger low in his belly at the thought that the King had been forced to endure scorn while he was in hiding and he had been displeased to hear about Lady Catelyn's treatment of him. Ignorance of his true origins was hardly an excuse for shaming a boy for his supposed father's misdeeds.

"Your grace, you should rest. It's your first real battle tomorrow. You'll want to be sharp," Ser Barristan suddenly said.

Aemon turned to him as though he'd forgotten his presence and then shook his head. "I will find no rest this night, Ser Barristan. There's no reason you cannot sleep though. Get some rest while you can," he said, though it was not an order, it was a clear dismissal.

"Very well, your grace. I'll be here at dawn to ensure you're prepared," he said.

Aemon just waved him away and he ducked out of the tent. Most of the preparations for the battle had already been made, so the encampment was surprisingly quiet. A low rumble broke the silence and he looked to see a storm in the distance flashing with lightning. He'd watched countless storms like this pass the city to the north. The day would be dry, but the very air still seemed to crackle with the energy.

He carefully picked his way around the camp, but he wasn't heading back to his tent. Lord Stark was still sitting around his fire, sharing it with the Greatjon, his son, and Theon Greyjoy. The two boys were chattering excitedly and the Greatjon was guzzling beer, but Ned was quiet as he polished his breastplate.

"Lord Stark, a word if you please?"

Ned considered him carefully and then nodded, getting up to follow. Barristan walked through the camp for some time and Ned finally asked, "What is it you wanted to speak about?"

"Not here," he insisted. His and Ned's horse were tied up with the rest of the Northern camp. A stable boy jumped up at their approach, but Barristan waved him away and he slumped. He didn't bother saddling his horse as he climbed atop it. Ned followed his suit and rode bareback.

It took nearly an hour of riding to get through the camp and finally out into a deserted part of the field where Barristan felt it would be safe enough to talk without anyone overhearing. He stayed atop his horse as he turned it to address Ned.

"Lord Stark, I am merely a Kingsguard. I have served King Aerys Targaryen II, Robert Baratheon, and now Aemon Targaryen. I have unparalleled experience in the bevy of politics and I have much to offer. However, I cannot compare to the advice that a father figure can give. You are Aemon's father. You are the only father he has ever known and now you are hurting him with your distance and your silence. Why?"

Ned gave him a sharp look. "I was rather under the impression that my counsel was no longer needed."

"Of course it's needed! You are a man of honor and duty. There is still much for you to teach Aemon. He needs someone in the Keep who can ensure that he does not lose his honor or his head trying to fight for his throne. What is this really about?"

"I've lost him, Ser Barristan. That is not my son anymore. He works in lies and secrets just as readily as his enemies do. He barely acknowledges my advice. He heeds Lord Jaime Lannister more than me."

"Going after Lord Jaime was not your best move. He's trying to create a team and you two being at each other's throats is not helping him. Be better than Jaime Lannister. Put aside your feud with him and embrace your role with King Aemon as a steady rock in a sea of chaos."

Ned's face grew dark. "The man murdered his king, Aemon's grandfather! How can I trust that he won't do the same to Aemon at his first opportunity?"

Barristan frowned severely, "Yes, he did. However Jaime did not kill Robert Baratheon. He doesn't just kill kings when it suits him. I was blind to it at first, but my years with Jaime Lannister and then the story that connects the two of them have led me to believe that there was more to that killing than Jaime is willing to say. Don't make the same mistakes with Aemon that I made with Jaime Lannister."

Ned gave him a puzzled look. "I don't understand."

"I have never spoken ill of my brothers and I never intend to. That does not mean that I don't think ill of them at times and I considered Jaime the worst. Much like you, I felt his honor was stained forever and it humiliated me to serve the king with such a bastard. Instead of addressing the issue, perhaps finding the true reason, I ignored him as much as I could. He made it easy. He never raised objections and did his duty as he was always supposed to."

"Then one day, he tried to kill himself," Ser Barristan said and he heard Ned suck in a breath. "He came back to the White Tower just in time for the evening meal with a nasty bruise around his throat. I asked him what happened, he just shook his head and went to his room. Ever seen how a hanged man looks? They have deep blue bruises around their necks. Jaime's matched it perfectly."

"I asked him again the next day what had happened and he refused to say. Rumors were he had a rough time with a prostitute, but he never did break his vow of celibacy while a Kingsguard. Not like many of his brothers."

"No matter if it was Jaime the Kingslayer, a man of the Kingsguard I was in charge of tried to end his life, and I had no idea until it was too late. It made me realize my own failures as Lord Commander. Now I know that the burden of carrying memories of a tragedy and a horror that no one else had must have become too much to bear and he saw no recourse but to end it all."

Barristan met Ned's eyes once more and he said, "I failed Jaime Lannister. I will not fail Aemon. And you won't either. You and I both know what it cost him to retain his honor in his previous life. And what it cost you. Honor is admirable, Lord Stark, but it's a handicap here in King's Landing. Don't force him to shackle himself to it for your approval."

Suddenly a ringing noise crossed the sky to them and they both turned.

"Those are the bells of the Red Keep," Barristan said, his heart pounding. He glanced up at the sky and found the half moon still on its way down. Dawn was still a ways off.

"Let's hurry back. With luck it will have nothing to do with Aemon," Ned said.

"He was in his tent when I left to speak with you."

"Something he ordered then?"

That caused Barristan to stare. Aemon certainly had seemed more anxious than he should be for a battle that was going to be won easily. They hurried the horses back at a gallop, no doubt disturbing some of the soldiers with their urgency. They pulled up in front of the tent at the same time Jaime left. He seemed not to notice them as he wandered off, but Barristan noted that he was dressed in black from head to toe.

They dismounted, handing their horses off to the stable boys nearby. Ser Barristan almost forgot himself and strode straight into the tent, so he stopped outside and said, "Your grace, it's Ser Barristan and Lord Stark. Might we enter?"

"Come in!"

The Aemon that greeted him now was like a difference of night and day. He looked tired, but he was smiling and where his energy had been anxious before it was now excited. "The Red Keep has been surrendered! We march in to claim it at dawn."

Barristan glanced at Ned to find his astonishment mirrored. "How?" Ned asked.

Aemon then stepped aside to reveal a man slouched in a chair with his hands tied behind his back. "Why Renly here has been most helpful in that regard. Isn't that right, Renly?"

The man glanced up to give Aemon a dirty look, but then he slouched again. There was no mistaking the finely trimmed beard as anyone but Renly's.

"How did you get ahold of him?" Barristan asked, awe in his voice.

"It was Jaime and his team. They snuck into the Keep through the underground tunnels and snatched him."

"I'll be damned," Barristan whispered. If all goes well, the Keep will have been taken bloodlessly. The Seven Kingdoms will have been united bloodlessly. He swayed. How was this possible? There was no denying that Aemon and Jaime - of all people - had worked hard to reach this point. If that's not a sign that the king is gods-ordained then I don't know what is.

"Uncle?"

"Yes your grace?"

"Ready the soldiers. I trust the North to not bring undue violence onto any resisting soldier or lord. We need a minimum of five thousand to ensure control of the Keep."

"Of course, your grace," Ned replied and flew from the tent.

"Ser Barristan, keep your eye on Renly. I need to inform Lord Umber, he's in charge of the army while we settle into the Red Keep." With that, Aemon was gone along with Ser Preston and Ser Arys.

All was quiet. He could only hear the quiet, frightened gasps of Renly as he continued to sit in the chair, despite not being tied to it. After a few minutes, he could hear the shouts of orders as men came awake to do their king's bidding.

As he stood there, waiting for his king to return, Renly spoke up in a quiet voice,"W-why did you betray my brother, Ser Barristan? I thought you were a man of honor." He finally looked up and although his eyes were shiny with unshed tears, he was calm.

Barristan frowned. "Perhaps I am not a man of honor, but I don't feel I betrayed your brother. My first oath as Kingsguard was to the Targaryen family. I am honorbound to guard King Aemon Targaryen."

"How do you even know he is who he says he is? He hardly looks Targaryen."

"I have seen and heard enough evidence in that regard to make the determination that he is Prince Rhaegar's last trueborn son."

"Why would anyone sane ever wish to see them return to power? The Targaryen's were the ones who tore this realm apart in war when they burned lords and their heirs."

"King Aerys II is responsible for Robert's Rebellion. King Aemon doesn't deny that. It is a result of King Aerys' actions that neither of his grandfathers, or even his father, are alive for him to see today."

Renly shivered, but for what reason Barristan couldn't see. "You heard him at the negotiations. His soldiers would 'pour over the walls like the lava that sealed Old Valyria in its doom?' Does that sound like a king who won't eventually burn people for saying one wrong word?"

Barristan raised his eyebrows at Renly. "He offered you a hand in peace and you spat in his face, insulting his poor dead mother. And yet, here you are, untouched. King's Landing is safe. The people will not have to fear for their lives in a foolish battle for the Keep. You had your chance, Renly. Now you must live with it."

Aemon returned in the next few minutes and Renly was hauled out to be tied to a horse. By the time Jaime Lannister returned the there was a noticeable rosy lightening on the eastern horizon. At Aemon's command, a column of soldiers began marching toward the city. King Aemon, Jaime, Ned, and Barristan himself were at the head on horseback, though he was in the second row, keeping a hand on Renly's reins.

Aemon looked every inch the king he was meant to be with his silver crown, wearing fine black fabrics lined in the bright red of his house. His cape was black with red on the underside.

When they reached the Lion's Gate, Aemon looked back at Renly and said, "Go on, Renly. Open the gate."

Ser Barristan tugged his horse forward, so that Renly would be easily seen. He remained slumped and silent.

"Renly," he growled, tugging on the horse's reins.

Slowly, he looked up at the guards on the wall, who had been watching the whole affair quietly. Then he said, "I am Renly Baratheon, Lord of Storm's End and paramount of the Stormlands. I have surrendered King's Landing and the Red Keep. Open the gate."

There was a few minutes as they could hear the soldiers scrambling around on the other side. Then there was a grinding of gears as the gate slowly lifted. As soon as it was locked into place, Aemon nudged his horse forward and under the archway.

The streets were still empty, this early in the morning, however Barristan could see eyes peering at them from windows and alleyways, staring after the procession. As they neared the Keep, the people cautiously stepped out of their homes to watch them pass. There was no denying caution and fear in their expressions and movements, but the lack of any violence seemed to have created some confusion as well. Their progression was followed with an eerie silence.

The guards atop the walls of the Red Keep saw them coming and even from that distance, Barristan could see the gate to the Red Keep was lifting without Renly giving the orders.

I think it likely all the soldiers in the Red Keep would have simply thrown down their arms if ordered to fight, Barristan thought. Still, he did not breathe a sigh of relief until King Aemon passed under the gate. I left with one king and return home with another.

End Book 1

Shameless Plug: Saddened by the two week wait for The Dragon's Roar? Dying to hear more of Ser Barristan's thoughts regarding Jaime's suicide attempt in a totally different context? Well, head on over to my latest story The Lion's Fall. It will get updated weekly. I've been writing it since April and I'm just a chapter or two short of it being done. Cheers, people!