When Lily Potter awoke, her memories were sluggish and distorted. She remembered being on a mission with Sirius, and then nothing else. As she stirred a low alarm sounded in the living room, causing swearing and rapid footsteps on the stairs before coming to a halt in front of the door. A beat later, the door opened softly and a bedraggled James Potter entered, with an excited and hopeful look on his face.
"James?" Lily whispered hoarsely before coughing.
James rushed to his wife's side. His wand already filling the glass on the bedside with water. He helped his still coughing wife up and helped her drink the glass of water.
"How do you feel? Do you need anything? Does any part of you hurt? Food? Pain potions? Pillows? Are you warm enough? Are you cold? Do you need some more blankets? It is cold isn't it? I'm going-"
James's move to get up was halted by his wife's hand coming to hold his, stopping him. A quiet laugh escaped Lily's dry lips as appreciation for her husband blossomed in her soul.
"I'm okay James." She whispered.
"How's Sirius?" She asked worried, she felt physically fine and she winced at what that might mean, that she hadn't managed to stop the curse, that Sirius was hurt or captured, or worse.
Tears pricked her eyes at the thought, she couldn't bear to imagine living while knowing she had failed to save Sirius.
"Sirius is fine. He and Remus are watching Harry for a while." James said as his hand came up to stroke his wife's hair. He could see her thoughts were taking a darker tone and wanted to smother those thoughts as soon as possible.
"What?" Lily jerked away from where she was just starting to get comfortable against her husband's side.
"How is that possible?" Confusion shone in her eyes, a million questions running through her mind.
James grimaced, knowing the following conversation wasn't going to be easy.
"About that, we need to talk." He said as he turned to face his wife fully.
The days after Lily woke up, she and James and Lily had their talk about everything that had happened while she was unconscious, the Potter household was a flurry of activity and nervous energy. All the adults were busy packing while Dumbledore was out setting up their safe house.
Harry looked on from his playpen, a frown marring his face. He didn't want to leave, he didn't want to move to live under a fidelus. He knew it wouldn't hold if things went the same way as before. His only hope was that they wouldn't switch secret keepers like the last time. Logically he knew they would be fine, that they wouldn't die but still, he could not get rid of the worry that something would go wrong, that he wouldn't be able to save them.
His magic gathered in a flurry as the toys around him began to float, and his hair ruffled slightly.
It was at this moment that Peter entered and was startled upon seeing so much magic around the baby. He stood wide-eyed for a moment, understanding now why the Dark Lord had decided Harry was the prophecy child.
He snapped out of it when a slight whistling noise filled the air and called out for James and Lily. Harry still wouldn't let him pick him up and a part of him was scared it was because the child knew he was going to betray them, knew he had already betrayed them. He knew it was his first memory of Harry that had sealed the Potter child's fate. Guilt over his actions swam in his watery eyes, but he blinked it away just as James and Lily hurried into the living room.
"What happened?" James asked as Lily went to Harry trying to pick him up.
"I don't know I just came in and saw him like-like that." Peter replied gesturing to where Harry was still sitting surrounded by floating toys, Lily was standing a way away from him, her wand in hand a frown marring her face. Sirius and Remus who had heard everything looked at each other before deciding to get Dumbledore.
Concern slipped onto James' face as he walked over to his wife. He didn't understand why she was standing so far away from Harry and what was happening to him.
"Lils, what's going on?" James asked as he put an arm around his wife.
Green eyes swung around to meet Hazel ones as James's concern was reflected on Lily's face.
"I don't know! I can't stop the floating!"
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know James! I. DON'T. KNOW! I tried everything! It's not working! Nothing is working!" Lily cried hysterically.
"It's okay, it's okay calm down Lils, we'll figure it our okay?" James said as he summoned his own wand.
"Together okay?"
Lily swallowed before bringing her own wand up in preparation.
In synch, both of them swished their wands while murmuring "Arresto Momentum."
The floating toys wavered for a moment, bringing hope to the Potters that they would be able to reach their child before they straightened and began to move around Harry aggressively.
"Again." James said as his body tensed. He had felt the magic resisting him, and usually, he would have been so impressed and proud but right now he was just worried. The faster the toys moved, the paler Harry was becoming and he didn't know how to reach his son.
A commotion behind him had him turning as he saw Dumbledore enter the room along with Poppy.
They both stood watching Harry with critical eyes.
"I do not understand. What happened?" Dumbledore asked perplexed.
"That's what we don't know. We just came in and-."
"I know what happened." Poppy interrupted James. Her face drawn downward in sadness.
"He's scared. After what happened to Lily, I imagine he is traumatized and his magic is lashing out, trying to protect him from a perceived threat. I have seen it happen before in babies who have experienced a huge emotional turmoil, they might light something on fire, turn themselves invisible or throw something around."
Poppy said as she squinted to observe the slight sheen and unfocused look in Harry's eyes.
" Although I've never seen it happen for so long and that too so steadily."
"Is there anything we can do?" Lily questioned.
"Yes, you should try reaching him, not physically, with your magic. His magic is erratic right now, think of any spells that calm you or make you feel happy and direct it toward him. His magic will recognize you."
Taking a deep breath James and Lily again raised their wands, another spell on their minds. After a swish and a few murmured words, a soft glow emitted from their wands, bathing the house in its light before a magnificent stag and doe burst from their wands. The stag from Lily's and the doe from James's.
The ethereal animals trotted slowly towards the child, the flying toys slowing down. The pure light radiating from them was too much as it blinded the others in the room, the adults averted their eyes trying to glance at what was happening.
All Harry could hear were the same words on replay, the only and last words of his parents he had heard in his previous life.
Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll hold him off!
Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy...Not Harry! Not Harry! Please-I'll do anything!
Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll hold him off!
Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy...Not Harry! Not Harry! Please-I'll do anything!
Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll hold him off!
Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy...Not Harry! Not Harry! Please-I'll do anything!
Lily, take Harry and go! It's him! I'll hold him off!
Not Harry! Please...have mercy...have mercy...Not Harry! Not –
Just as he began to lose hope that he would ever escape this loop, another memory entered his mind.
"He's beautiful." Lily whispered, her eyes shining with tears. She was still laying in bed after giving birth. Her hair was completely sticky and matted and her skin was covered with a light sheen of sweat, but in James's eyes, she was the most perfect being ever. The most perfect being who had just given birth to another perfect being. He couldn't decide who was more perfect.
His wife.
His son.
His wife.
His son.
His wife.
His son.
His wife.
His son.
His wife.
His son.
His wife.
His son.
He shook his head, getting off track from the conversation he was having with his very, very beautiful wife.
"Of course he is. He takes after his dad." He said running his hands through his hair an overly cocky smirk adorned his face.
Lily simply rolled her eyes, used to her husband's antics. Her eyes refocused on her baby, his sleeping face filling her up with love and contentment.
Lily smiled as she leaned against the hallway doorframe to the living room. James was on the floor, his face screwed up in concentration. She didn't want them to use much magic around the baby so James was learning to change diapers without magic and was struggling spectacularly.
"Do you need another class on how to change a diaper James?" Lily asked form her position.
"Nope. No way. If a muggle can do it. So can I." James declared his eyes not even shifting from the plastic-cloth-cotton contraption on the floor beside his giggling son.
Lily rolled her eyes before coming to sit beside James.
"Hello darling." She cooed at Harry. Harry just grinned at his mom, his heart full from just seeing his parents interacting, seeing their little mannerisms, little rituals, and the smiles and kisses. (Even though they grossed him out a little bit at times when it became a bit much.)
"Hand me the diaper James."
"I can do it Lily." James insisted. "You should be resting."
"I'm not an invalid James. I can change a diaper."
"No no, but you just gave birth to our son and you need to rest. I can handle this."
"James that was two months ago." Lily exclaimed, exasperated and fond in equal measures.
They were bickering so much that James hadn't even realized Lily had successfully changed the diaper while distracting him.
Multiple more such memories flew through Harry's brain, a smile slid over his face, his anxiety slowly ebbing away. His parents were alive, they were going to be alive. He was going to get to make millions of memories with them.
As the glowing animals circled the child a few times before curling up around him, the toys finally laid down, back to their stationary form. The animals glowed for a few more seconds before fading, letting the adults finally look towards the child, who was now sleeping soundly with a smile on his face.
