"[S]he was not wearing any clothing[;] she was hugging her knees and her face was obscured by a Maine of hair." –Darkhermionetwist, "The Twisted Life of Hermione Granger"

"Um… Hermione?" said Parvati slowly.

Hermione craned her neck, and smiled at her Housemate. "Oh, hello, Parvati," she said. "Don't mind me, I'm just performing my evening meditations. Got to strengthen that magical core, you know."

"Uh-huh," said Parvati. "And of course you have to do that sitting on the floor of the dormitory, stark naked, with your knees clutched against your chin and supporting a… what is this, anyway?" she said, picking up the object that was resting on Hermione's kneecaps. "A model ship made of cat's hair?"

"It's the Maine," said Hermione. "You know, the famous American warship that blew up in Havana Harbour and started the Spanish-American War. I made it last weekend, when Crookshanks was shedding all over the place… what?" she added defensively, as Parvati gave her a disbelieving look. "I'm entitled to do something with my spare time besides Ron and Harry's homework, aren't I?"

Parvati shook her head. If this was what it took to be top of every class, she decided, she was all too grateful for her solid A average.


"Ginny had a problem[,] and normally she wouldn't consult Ron of all people if that was the case[,] but seeing as they were accentually in the same boat[,] so to speak[,] she had to try." –Lil Lost Lady, "Happy Birthday Dad!"

"So, Ron," she said with a deep breath. "You had to do Anapestic Incantations in your N.E.W.T. year, right?"

"Sure," her brother replied.

"Well, how did you make your name fit?"

Ron blinked. "Pardon?"

"Your name," said Ginny. "An Incantation has to contain the full Christian name and surname of the incantator, right? But my name can't possibly be made anapestic, since there's only one unaccented syllable between the 'ev' and the 'Weas'. I can't figure out how to get around that, so I thought, since you were in the same accentual boat…"

"But I wasn't," said Ron.

Ginny stared at him. "Yes, you were. 'RON-ald WEAS-ley': there's only one unaccented syllable between the two accents there, just like with me."

"But my first accented syllable is the first syllable in my name," said Ron. "So I just bunged an accented word in front of it, to drown it out – 'I', I think it was; 'I, Ronald Weasley' – and there I was. I don't know what I'd have done if my name had been Ginevra – not that it could have been, anyway, but you know what I mean."

"Oh." Ginny frowned down at her parchment. "Well, dang."


"Harry pulled Fleur up and[,] shocking everyone except for Madame Maxim and the other Beauxbatons teachers, pulled her in for a searing kiss." –HarryGinnyTonks, "Defender of Beauxbatons"

"Do you mean, Jane," Pomona Sprout exclaimed, "that you – you and your colleagues – you knew about Miss Delacour and Mr Potter? But… I don't see… there was no… how could you know?"

Jane Budden Maxim smiled quietly. "I've been doing this for quite some time, Pomona," she said.

This, of course, was an understatement to end all understatements. She had been teaching les études moldus at Beauxbatons for over a hundred years – ever since she and Hiram had separated, and the Flamels had taken her in and pulled some strings on her behalf. But there was no need for her to boast of her age, much less to reveal herself as the ill-treated widow of the inventor of the Maxim gun, was there? Far better to just leave it at "quite some time".


"I catch you in here again and I'll ring your neck, you little rodent." –MegaKitty, "Death Eaters Revenge"

Kreacher's eyes widened in horror, and his hand stole to the bell embedded in his throat. "Mistress would not dare," he croaked. "Kreacher's neck is the one magic that even the Dark Lord feared; if it were rung, the evils that would be summoned would swallow both Kreacher and Mistress into endless vortices of chaotic terror."

"Right you are, Kreach," said Lucy. "And you wouldn't risk something like that just for the sake of nosing around my laboratory, would you?"

Kreacher hesitated. "Well… no," he said. "No, Kreacher… Kreacher wouldn't."

"Good." Lucy pointed. "Out. Now."